I'm having a pretty good conversation with this gorgeous chick who studied physics at a good university. I suck, in comparison, but she somehow thought my profile was worthy of 5 stars. I'm super afraid I'm going to say something stupid and fuck this up and I have no idea when to actually ask her out. GAHHHHHHHHH
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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
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Chuck Norris
Banned
Just ask? Like right now
Attackthebase
Member
Yes and no. Her profile made her seem batshit insane, in a horrible way, and the total opposite of my own convictions. I checked her questions: she hates gay people, she's a creationist, and she has so many red flags, it isn't even funny.
Probably not as bad as the guy who made the thread today about bed bugs, a crack house, and trying to have sex with his boss' daughter. But nothing would turn out well if I pursued that.
I can get a good amount of messages when I am active on the sites.
The great thing about a dating site is even if you mess up on one encounter, you have so many other options, it doesn't really matter.
If you can't think of anything good to say, use humor, talk about something on her profile, or do both. Most women get a kick out of smartasses and talking about themselves/things they like.
Mainly though, don't sweat it. Chances are whatever you say will be ten thousand times more interesting than what any other guy that messages her has to say (99% will be some variation of "hey baby, u r pretty hot, whats up" etc.) Most women on these sites are shallow enough to look at your picture and make a snap judgment right there anyway, so the initial pitch barely matters most of the time.
My general rule of thumb is that I don't start talking actual meetups until we are talking on a medium that isn't the dating site itself. Women are all over the map on their preferences for this though. Just be chill, don't be a weirdo, and if she likes you she'll give you plenty of leeway on this sort of thing.
Never know. What are the odds hm?
Docpan - I'd love to hear some reaction stories from the girls walking out on you...
Etrian Oddity
Member
Yeah, this post is begging for elaboration lol
Buckethead
Banned
I don't know how to e-interact with e-women.
I usually ask them to come over to my chicken coop and eat some slaw.
Surprisingly it hasn't worked out too well.
I usually ask them to come over to my chicken coop and eat some slaw.
Surprisingly it hasn't worked out too well.
Eh, she seems to only be interested in something short term during the summer, I'm looking for something more long term. Also I'd feel so awkward doing that, because I already know her.
So far I've gotten a number from someone I'm not interested in at all and messages from another person I'm not physically attracted to at all and someone who is pretty religious which is a huge turn off for me.
Maybe I should pay less attention to this and only check it every once and a while.
ElectricBlue187
Member
Grats. Make sure you bring up the LHC and the standard model (jk don't do this)
OriginofHysteria
Banned
Just made a profile on this stupid site. My main photo? A picture of me dressed up as Gumby.
I guess I don't know the etiquette for this kind of stuff. But isn't it kind of a good reason to contact her, since you have not seen her for a few years and you bumped into her randomly on a dating site?
tearsofash
Member
Is it against the rules to have two profiles there?
youngplaya21
Member
Wow, created a profile today, and not even 20 minutes later, I see a really good friend on there. If it wasn't for the whole "they see you" thing, i'd visit her page and troll the shit outta her. Now it's time to reread this thread to find some profile tips
Lone_Prodigy
Member
This is also the worst thing. So many people act like disrespectful idiots with no consequences. It leads to genuinely good people getting discouraged from all the BS they have to wade through.
velvet_nitemare
Member
I've been using POF and OKC with mixed results. Been on 2 dates with 2 different girls and both went well. They're not really my exact type, but i've had to lower my standards to get things going. I was on a dry streak and just needed to break that.
I've also pretty much given up on personalizing messages to any great extent. I read interests and profiles, then i pick 1 of 5 copypastas i have on rotation and i've had the most success with the "Swanson dinner" one.
I've also pretty much given up on personalizing messages to any great extent. I read interests and profiles, then i pick 1 of 5 copypastas i have on rotation and i've had the most success with the "Swanson dinner" one.
I... I love this.
im doing this right now man i just got fucked over royally by a girl i liked and it got me down and now i dont give a fuuuuuuuuuuck and change my profit up and sending what i feel like to girls. AND youre fucking right they dont reply to SHIT when youre nice and they dont give a shit if you travel like everyone does. wow you got s degree in arts? cool bro i dont give a shit thats not interesting it means you didnt know wtf to do after school ended.
so ye lets see how this rolls snd maybe can get laid without being kicked in the emotional balls in the process.
Swanson dinner? I personally prefer POF but i found out there is a first time messenger cap for how many first time messages you can send a day. Hmm
OriginofHysteria
Banned
Swanson dinner is a TV dinner
youngplaya21
Member
Are there any red flags that you guys look for in a profile? I've never been one to nitpick, but if I see one more girl call herself a huge nerd, and the only evidence of it is that she like the Big Bang Theory or casually plays Sims, then I'm going to rant about it in my profile or something
^^^ just what have you been saying to them that makes you think you're a lunatic???
^^^ just what have you been saying to them that makes you think you're a lunatic???
If the guy finds you semi-attractive and has a lot in common, you are doing them a big favor by messaging them. I know i wish more would message me. Them checking you out by visiting your profile means nothing more than them either seeing your tiny picture and think you have potential or see a very high % match and are curious. Only expect something if they rate you high or something.
Very true.
Edit: I told her Mexican homemade food is the best, but I suck at cooking. LOL Perhaps that was a bad idea to bring that up lol.
He did. I got the notification that he was "checking me out", IE: rated me a 4 or 5.
I messaged him because I was on the app and somehow sent him a "let's meet tonight!" notification (I don't know...), so I said "um wow, I think the app said I wanted to meet you tonight, but I just wanted to say hi! Oops. Hi, though!"
Fëanor;38820759 said:
if you just got her to reply once via talking about mexican food. It's way too early to mention trying out a place, even if she agrees (likely not), it'll be a half-assed yes, and that will be the end of it. Just keep building up rapport.
seems friendly enough, ball is in his court now. On to the next one if he doesn't reply.
Welcome to our world.
I thought you guys liked it when we took initiative. Haha.
Either that or they see my pics and back away quickly.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
"I love to laugh and have a good time"
Oh, really? I hate laughing and having a good time. Whenever I start laughing, I'm like, "This laughing thing sucks" and I stop.
"im looking for a real man"
fuck you
"Im not like all the others"
yes, yes you are.
there's a bunch, but these two.... man, I hate them.
Just a bit ago. It says he's online though, so...eeh.
Um, he messaged me the other day saying he was in a bit of a bad place and wasn't looking for something serious, just a fun time. He knows I'm inexperienced so he said he'd love to still hang out with me, but understood if I wasn't up for that. I said I wasn't, he said I was a cool girl though, so keep in touch. The end. Lol. I still have him in my phone, so I guess we're acquaintances now.
abort, seriously abort.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
Don't be worried about the former, then. I'd say he still has time to reply to you.
Shame about the first guy, though. Oh well, at least now you know you can break the ice, which is important.
starchild excalibur
Member
Is that what that means? I thought they just sent that out whenever someone stumbled across your profile a few times. :\
Oh I know haha. I may say hi now and again cause he is a nice guy, but otherwise, aborted. Lol.
I guess I'll see. Whichev. I expect nothing from anyone haha.
I suppose, though he thought it was funny how awkward I was haha.
ElectricThunder
Member
-Jesus comes up a multitude of times. Don't get me wrong, I'm fairly deep in the Christianity pool even compared to most, but that sends all kinds of fundie alarms into overdrive.
-"X number of kids who are each the most important thing in the world" People can guess this easily enough, being beaten over the head with it pre-emptively does not a good impression make.
-"real man".....sigh....come on...
-Insane expectations for a first date that essentially involved traversing a damn state or apparently a bit of the non-awesome-Harlem-style Globetrotting.
-No fullbody shots, with only a face shot and/or maybe a cleavage and up shot----seriously? I can stand a few feet back from a damn camera and you want to play coy about it? Don't waste your time or mine.
Time to report in!
Ended up talking with the girl for over an hour in the chat. It went well, and I have a new friend and looking forward to hanging out soon. Right now to me making new friends sound pretty sweet, definitely don't want to get into dating yet I still need time to recover from my relationship of 6 years.
Have you guys had call girls message you?
Ended up talking with the girl for over an hour in the chat. It went well, and I have a new friend and looking forward to hanging out soon. Right now to me making new friends sound pretty sweet, definitely don't want to get into dating yet I still need time to recover from my relationship of 6 years.
Have you guys had call girls message you?
OriginofHysteria
Banned
Is that what it means when I get the email of "checking me out"? I always thought it was just them looking at my profile rather than getting rated.
Maybe I should've messaged the girl then.
No, there is one that means they simply visited, and then there is one that says 'they rated you highly go get em!' or some shit.
I never get those.
Also im contemplating deleting my profile. Flakey girls fucking suck and they are all over this bitch. Past 4 girls now replied enthusiastically and then didnt reply to the 2nd/3rd messages. I end up becoming a slave to this stupid shit checking my email all the time.
OriginofHysteria
Banned
No, there is one that means they simply visited, and then there is one that says 'they rated you highly go get em!' or some shit.
I never get those.
Also im contemplating deleting my profile. Flakey girls fucking suck and they are all over this bitch. Past 4 girls now replied enthusiastically and then didnt reply to the 2nd/3rd messages. I end up becoming a slave to this stupid shit checking my email all the time.
I just go into it with an open mind. I have no problems meeting girls when I go out, but it's harder when you're online because while you can express your personality through words, it's a lot different than actually expressing your personality through your actions. You just have to hope that one girl will take your word for it when they read your profile. I mean I sound like an ass in my profile and that probably turns some girls off but the ones that I do talk to at least will get to like me and know me for who I am.
It's pretty much a game.
Fëanor;38825532 said:
wtf man? you blew it... why pretend like you're looking for a "friend" on a dating site. That won't get you anywhere.
i guess you're starting slow, but from my experience, playing the friend card is the least successful method and takes the longest to get an answer one way or the other. It should be obvious from day one, that you're into the girl. Flirt like crazy, the friend route sucks.
Grimm Fandango
Member
When would you guys say to make a date if the girl contacts you first? 3rd email?
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