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[zlatko]

Everybody here is complaining about how they would rather just get a response, though. I mean, I could just be honest.

Well did you two talk at long lengths in messages and start texting back and forth? If so, then you do need to say something and not blow her off, but if you two exchanged a handful of messages then blowing her off is not that big of deal.

Yes I hate it too, but ONLY if it was after a LOT of back and forth. That's when it sucks, because you are confused as fuck on how you screwed it up.

If it is a lot of back and forth, then I'd just say, "Hey I like talking to you, and I know this may not be what you want to hear, but I don't see this being anything more than a friendship. I'm sorry, but I figured I'd be honest."

That should smooth it over.

 

[ianp622]

Well did you two talk at long lengths in messages and start texting back and forth? If so, then you do need to say something and not blow her off, but if you two exchanged a handful of messages then blowing her off is not that big of deal.

Yes I hate it too, but ONLY if it was after a LOT of back and forth. That's when it sucks, because you are confused as fuck on how you screwed it up.

If it is a lot of back and forth, then I'd just say, "Hey I like talking to you, and I know this may not be what you want to hear, but I don't see this being anything more than a friendship. I'm sorry, but I figured I'd be honest."

That should smooth it over.

Yeah, I've only sent one and she's sent two. I'll put something in the message I'm writing now.

 

[zlatko]

Yeah, I've only sent one and she's sent two. I'll put something in the message I'm writing now.

Really at 3 messages, you don't need to send shit. I've had dozens of 2-3 message conversations on the site where I won't get a reply and am left hanging. Those are trivial.

 

[Warrior_Keoni]

Really at 3 messages, you don't need to send shit. I've had dozens of 2-3 message conversations on the site where I won't get a reply and am left hanging. Those are trivial.

This man speaks the truth.

 

[SirButterstick]

I've been getting a ton more messages since I've simplified my profile. No more long descriptions of my self-summary, what I'm doing, etc. I guess it adds to the mystery.

 

[TheKaeptain]

Anybody ever want to message a profile but can't think of anything to say.

 

[ATF487]

Looking for an opinion on how to move forward.

Messaging this one girl back and forth for awhile. Hit it off really well at the start. Made an invitation for coffee, exchanged numbers, and as we've been texting back and forth I'm learning/realizing shes not quite my type. Haven't texted eachother in a few days (Been busy with other stuff), and wondering if I should just leave it be as is, or if I should respond and at least go on the coffee date out of courtesy/see if things feel a little different in person.

:/

If you have the time and day for the date sorted then you should go on it, or at least follow up to see if she still wants to do it. If it was an idea thrown around but never confirmed then I don't think you have any obligation, and you could always cancel if you want.

Maybe others think differently but I've always assumed things are happening until they aren't.

Anybody ever want to message a profile but can't think of anything to say.

Most of the time, actually. I usually just rate them highly.

Thought about sending a message playing on that theme but it never sounded right.

 

[Ferrio]

Anybody ever want to message a profile but can't think of anything to say.

Find something in their profile they can expand on and ask them about it. A hobby, book, a picture of them.. whatever. Try to be clever with it.

 

[Jhoan]

Apparently, I got the "You're Hot" e-mail form OKC. It sucks that attractive people can see more attractive people but not vice versa. Oh well, I guess that's cool. It's strange because those pictures that I have are about 1-3 years old; my avatar is currently what I look like.

 

[Warrior_Keoni]

Apparently, I'm got the "You're Hot" e-mail form OKC. It sucks that attractive people can see more attractive people but not vice versa. Oh well, I guess that's cool. It's strange because those pictures that I have are about 1-3 years old; my avatar is currently what I look like.

I'm a straight guy and I think your avatar is hot. =P

For regular joes like me, all I do is rate, and send messages never expecting any replies. The world goes round...

 

[zlatko]

Apparently, I got the "You're Hot" e-mail form OKC. It sucks that attractive people can see more attractive people but not vice versa. Oh well, I guess that's cool. It's strange because those pictures that I have are about 1-3 years old; my avatar is currently what I look like.

So you got better looking? Well fuck you then.

It's not a huge deal though. I have older pics too. Most of me hasn't changed, except new glasses, constant facial hair, and a little bit of hair being lost, but I have such thick hair it's hard to tell.

Looks like I'm on for the date tomorrow in the evening.

Current state of mind:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=vVy9Lgpg1m8&NR=1

 

[Riggs]

Apparently, I got the "You're Hot" e-mail form OKC. It sucks that attractive people can see more attractive people but not vice versa. Oh well, I guess that's cool. It's strange because those pictures that I have are about 1-3 years old; my avatar is currently what I look like.

You are a sex machine also. I am straight btw just sayin.

 

[zlatko]

Oh that hot message comes in your email?

I joined 6-14, got the you're hot email on 6-29. Whoops.

*dusts off his shoulder* What's up handsome GAF?

 

[Deleted member 22576]

they send that email to everyone

 

[Fëanor]

Yeah? Where is mine? Handsome bastards.

 

[Jhoan]

I'm a straight guy and I think your avatar is hot. =P

For regular joes like me, all I do is rate, and send messages never expecting any replies. The world goes round...

It happens to me too so don't think you're alone in this. I haven't gotten any replies at all. I've had 59 people view my profile (with 1/4 of them being Gaffers), and I haven't gotten a message or a reply back so it doesn't really mean anything.

 

[Zerokku]

It happens to me too so don't think you're alone in this. I haven't gotten any replies at all. I've had 59 people view my profile (with 1/4 of them being Gaffers), and I haven't gotten a message or a reply back so it doesn't really mean anything.

What are your messages like? I probably have a 30%-40% response rate. And I don't think I'm particularly attractive, though I'm not too shabby when it comes to writing, so that may help. (Only two that have actually gone past anything but messaging, but hey.)

 

[Al-ibn Kermit]

Everybody here is complaining about how they would rather just get a response, though. I mean, I could just be honest.

Then respond with a lie. Do not fucking tell her she's too fat. Say you're thinking too much of your ex and you're realizing you're not ready for a new relationship.

 

[zlatko]

Alright date is on for tonight! Crazy nervous. I sort of feel a cold sore coming on, but I hope that isn't the case. ><;

I will share my tale of either success or failure later tonight.

 

[mjc]

This sounds like a really stupid question, but here it goes..

I just signed up for okc a handful of days ago, and I've got a conversation going with this one girl. We've been sending messages back and forth for about three days now and things seem to be clicking just a little bit. When would the best time to ask her out? I feel like sooner rather than later would be the best route but I don't want to seem desperate either. (I saw that some of you guys recommend a three message window for asking for dates)

 

[Pachimari]

anyone using the mobile app?

 

[zlatko]

This sounds like a really stupid question, but here it goes..

I just signed up for okc a handful of days ago, and I've got a conversation going with this one girl. We've been sending messages back and forth for about three days now and things seem to be clicking just a little bit. When would the best time to ask her out? I feel like sooner rather than later would be the best route but I don't want to seem desperate either. (I saw that some of you guys recommend a three message window for asking for dates)

I generally get texting digits at around 6+ messages. Then I set up a time to hang out if the texting starts going back and forth smoothly and frequently.

 

[commedieu]

anyone using the mobile app?

think theres a sign out at the bottom, iirc.

 

[Jhoan]

What are your messages like? I probably have a 30%-40% response rate. And I don't think I'm particularly attractive, though I'm not too shabby when it comes to writing, so that may help. (Only two that have actually gone past anything but messaging, but hey.)

I typically ask them a question based on something that I saw on their profile. It's worked in the past, but it doesn't seem to be working now. I think I might consider going with a short bold message. While I kinda agree with NateDrake's idea about letting women come to me, realistically speaking, it's best to go out and message them as well. I think I look too intimidating even though I don't have a lot of info on my profile.

 

[zlatko]

I typically ask them a question based on something that I saw on their profile. It's worked in the past, but it doesn't seem to be working now. I think I might consider going with a short bold message. While I kinda agree with NateDrake's idea about letting women come to me, realistically speaking, it's best to go out and message them as well. I think I look too intimidating even though I don't have a lot of info on my profile.

Have nieces/nephews or really young siblings? A picture with them with silly faces or smiling will help out a lot. Or take a picture with your best lady friend and put that up.

Just keep on truckin. Shit has to pan out.

 

[True Underdog]

Alright date is on for tonight! Crazy nervous. I sort of feel a cold sore coming on, but I hope that isn't the case. ><;

I will share my tale of either success or failure later tonight.

Good luck. I'm thinking about getting in on this but I'm hesitant.

 

[Zerokku]

Or take a picture with your best lady friend and put that up.

Huh. Really? Pretty much the only half decent picture I have besides my profile pic (I am not photogenic whatsoever) is of one with me and one of my close lady friends. Never considered putting it up.

I typically ask them a question based on something that I saw on their profile. It's worked in the past, but it doesn't seem to be working now. I think I might consider going with a short bold message. While I kinda agree with NateDrake's idea about letting women come to me, realistically speaking, it's best to go out and message them as well. I think I look too intimidating even though I don't have a lot of info on my profile.

Thats about the same for me, though I usually try and ask 2-3 questions if possible. I dunno.

 

[Sarye]

anyone using the mobile app?

don't you have a girlfriend? why are you using okcupid?

 

[zlatko]

Huh. Really? Pretty much the only half decent picture I have besides my profile pic (I am not photogenic whatsoever) is of one with me and one of my close lady friends. Never considered putting it up.




Thats about the same for me, though I usually try and ask 2-3 questions if possible. I dunno.

I have one with me and my best lady friend. Shows women do not fear you and you are not a creep or loner of some kind.

 

[Jhoan]

Have nieces/nephews or really young siblings? A picture with them with silly faces or smiling will help out a lot. Or take a picture with your best lady friend and put that up.

Just keep on truckin. Shit has to pan out.

I have a 9 month old niece and two younger half-brothers; one of whom has much lighter skin than me. Not too many female friends if any other than a friend of my brother's. Otherwise, mostly FB acquaintances. My brother scoffed at the idea when I told him that I think women might be intimidated of me. He said that I'm being to cocky (maybe I am ).

I haven't messaged women in 4 days. I think I'm just gonna look through the chicks that checked me out, try hitting them up or rating them and hit up a few more chicks that show up on my matches until I get a bite but I'm definitely gonna keep on truckin'.

 

[Zerokku]

I have one with me and my best lady friend. Shows women do not fear you and you are not a creep or loner of some kind.

Think this is a decent enough picture to upload?



Quote to see.
Its a bit over a year old, but I more or less look the same.

 

[Darklord]

So to improve things I decided to get my profile criticized. Holy fucking shit, it was torn to shreds, chewed up and spat out. I was basically told my profile sucks, my picture sucks and my messages suck. Oh but I'm "not a terrible looking guy". Well good to know I've nailed down any issues to everything single thing. -___-

 

[zlatko]

Think this is a decent enough picture to upload?



Quote to see.
Its a bit over a year old, but I more or less look the same.

I'd let it rock yeah. Make sure to caption it.

@DarkLord who did you have give it the once over? It could be worse if you had NOTHING to improve. As you step it up in these departments, then you'll hopefully see better results, which is always a good thing.

Oh and my date is a bust. Idk what to do. Fuck you Friday the 13th bad luck bull shit. I went to work out at probably 1:40 or something, and had got a text from her at 1:38. Every time I'm about to head out I check my phone for texts, but not this one time. Turns out she texted me that I can come over anytime. In the hour I was gone, about 20-30 mins later from that text she threw out her back. She had surgery recently on it, so when I got home I had about 5 messages from her. Basically a play by play saying she was in the hospital.

FUCK! If I had checked my phone, and text back cool where do I go, on my way, etc. I know it would've been avoided. I offered to say I can come up and hold your hand so you have someone, but she insisted the first time she meets me should not be while she's in pain at a hospital.

We've been texting as she is waiting to see the doc, so I know she isn't full of shit by any means. I'm just so bummed. It's been like 2 weeks since we've been just texting, and knowing my luck the doctor will say she can't do shit and be in immense pain for like a week+. At that point I'm probably screwed to ever have the actual meet up be worth a shit since we'll either build each other up way too high, or we'll get sick of just texting. Who knows.

I have no luck with the universe.

 

[Darklord]

@DarkLord who did you have give it the once over? It could be worse if you had NOTHING to improve. As you step it up in these departments, then you'll hopefully see better results, which is always a good thing.

Reddit, actually. There's an okcupid part where you can ask people to criticize your profile. I mean, I was expecting some faults and criticisms but but bloody hell not literally EVERYTHING.

 

[Zerokku]

I'd let it rock yeah. Make sure to caption it.

Yah, was planning on that. Something along the lines of "Me and one of my best friends at a party back in 2011"

 

[Fëanor]

I have a meet and greet in about 40 minutes and I'm so nervous about it. Gaaaaahhhh! This is going to be so fucking awkward! Its gonna be awesome.

 

[Jackben]

OKCupid ain't so stupid.

 

[ATF487]

Man, girls really don't have to try so hard on these things, do they?. The two unsolicited messages I've got have been "Hi " and "Cute."

Darklord: Don't be discouraged, everyone has an opinion about these things. Some are probably decent points but it's also important that your profile express what you're really like, or at least a hint of it.

edit: third: "Hey, how's it going? "

 

[Fëanor]

I'm off now, oh gawd!!!!!! Wish me luck!!!!!

 

[zlatko]

I'm off now, oh gawd!!!!!! Wish me luck!!!!!

G'luck duder.

The universe went swinging back in my way. She ended up still wanting to hang out after her back problem. I came over to her place, and I felt bad because I could tell she was in serious pain.

We watched the old school romeo and juliet movie, talked a lot, laughed, met one of her roommates, and secured a good night kiss. Semi made plans for another date, but both of us are crazy busy and have somewhat conflicting schedules. Probably won't be until next weekend we MAY hang out. Which sucks, but good things come to those that wait right?

 

[cdyhybrid]

Is there a short bulletpoint list for improving your profile? Now that I have a new job I can dedicate the time I was using for job searching to my social life

 

[LProtag]

OKC is suddenly telling me that there are a ton of extremely attractive girls who I would get along with very well that all happen to live in the Boston area. Seriously like, so many cute girls that have 99% match.

And they're all 2+ hours away.

 

[Jhoan]

OKC is suddenly telling me that there are a ton of extremely attractive girls who I would get along with very well that all happen to live in the Boston area. Seriously like, so many cute girls that have 99% match.

And they're all 2+ hours away.

Damn man, it sucks that you live in CT considering the fact that everything closes so early over there. I've only been to Danbury and Norwalk myself but everything is so quiet compared to NYC.

Ever considered moving out of CT if you can afford it? Otherwise, don't give up. I'm sure there's plenty of attractive women even in the most rural parts of the US. Otherwise, I think you should host a CT GAF meet up and help maybe help each other wingman at a bar (that's a side thing but still).

As for me, I've been rating a ton of women through the Quick match system. I hope it works. I also tweaked my profile information a bit and plan on hitting up women some time after I wake up.

 

[Globox_82]

OKC must be much cooler if you are somewhere in the USA. Much more people that are active I guess.

 

[sphinx]

OKC must be much cooler if you are somewhere in the USA. Much more people that are active I guess.

absolutely, my main downside is that I am in Europe and it's instantly visibly there so I get dismissed right away and I don't complain, I mean, why would I devote time to some person in South Africa that thinks I am cute? there's little that can be done and sometimes there's no compatibility for a decent exchange of messages, despite the distance.

that being said, is it normal to constantly get messaged by people from the philippines? I've already gotten 1 message from a girl and 3 from guys from the philippines, they want to start something,... I just ignore.

 

[Razorskin]

that being said, is it normal to constantly get messaged by people from the philippines? I've already gotten 1 message from a girl and 3 from guys from the philippines, they want to start something,... I just ignore.

Maybe they want to get out of there and become citizens in wherever you live.

 

[scotcheggz]

absolutely, my main downside is that I am in Europe and it's instantly visibly there so I get dismissed right away and I don't complain, I mean, why would I devote time to some person in South Africa that thinks I am cute? there's little that can be done and sometimes there's no compatibility for a decent exchange of messages, despite the distance.

that being said, is it normal to constantly get messaged by people from the philippines? I've already gotten 1 message from a girl and 3 from guys from the philippines, they want to start something,... I just ignore.

I got a couple messages from girls in the Philippines when I was on okc too, had little chat conversations with them for a while but ultimately pointless. For people asking about photos, just anecdotal but when I put a photo of me with my cat sitting on my shoulder, messages sent to me without previous contact seemed to go up noticeably. Don't know if that's a trend or anything, could've just been a better picture all round.

I need to start my profile back up again at some point.

 

[Globox_82]

absolutely, my main downside is that I am in Europe and it's instantly visibly there so I get dismissed right away and I don't complain, I mean, why would I devote time to some person in South Africa that thinks I am cute? there's little that can be done and sometimes there's no compatibility for a decent exchange of messages, despite the distance.

that being said, is it normal to constantly get messaged by people from the philippines? I've already gotten 1 message from a girl and 3 from guys from the philippines, they want to start something,... I just ignore.

never happened to me. I only got messaged by some Asian girl that lives in England

 

[Globox_82]

OKC can be a weird place though. I exchanged a couple of PM with this girl, during the exchange she said she found my abs disgusting( I have a torso pic of my self) . Then I checked her profile again and somehow I missed that shes A sexual, then I felt a bit better.

 

[sphinx]

Maybe they want to get out of their and become citizens in wherever you live.

yeah, first thing that comes to mind but.. I mean, are they stupid?

the messages are like "U SO HOT" and " HIII!!!1111!!"

They want a European guy to take them out of their country (as if everyone here is in dire need of bringing some random guy from far away who probably doesn't even speak the local language) and the best they can do to convince him is sent a " HI!" message??

I feel a bit sorry for them.