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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
- Start date
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Just made one, whored myself out to about twenty different women, very little copying and pasting in messages...Got a bunch of visits, very few responses lol.
Al-ibn Kermit
Junior Member
Your likelihood of ending up in quivers or in match results is partially linked to how many people give you high star ratings.
So if you happen to know a bunch of other people with OKC profiles, you could just ask them to give you high reviews...
So if you happen to know a bunch of other people with OKC profiles, you could just ask them to give you high reviews...
I am really curious as to how this works with the girls. you guys seem decent and some of you with avatars are good looking, are girls so in demand that they have to be this selective?
for reference, when I look for guys, some visit my profile back and if I write, most write back with a thanks or even begin a nice chat, and I am not even trying that hard. yet getting a girl to answer back on OKC seems like a great achievement.
for reference, when I look for guys, some visit my profile back and if I write, most write back with a thanks or even begin a nice chat, and I am not even trying that hard. yet getting a girl to answer back on OKC seems like a great achievement.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Yes. The most desired ladies in your area are actually deleting messages constantly without really reading them because their inbox gets full.
If I had to make a guess, I'd say that men are just spamming, aka, sending messages to 30 girls until a few answer back. Girls have taken noticed and are aware and proceed to ignore.. maybe the trick is to write THE message that really clicks with them in particular, something that really stand out?
If you are a good looking woman, then yes your inbox will be monster flooded.
I still message them anyway if I have interest. You never know if you turn out to catch her at the right time with the right message to get things rolling.
Getting responses is a crap shoot though.
I've had mines for 3.5 weeks, and after sending out countless messages and rating pictures, still no replies. I also put thought into the message but it seems that hitting up the good looking women is yielding no results.
I think I'm send the same copy and pasted generic message to see what happens.They look at my profile but no replies. I'm going to see if I muck through the good looking women, and hit up decent looking women to see what happens. I also think I have to change my pictures. Honestly, I'm out of ideas as to what type of pictures I should put up at this point.
My meet and greet went pretty well, talked for two hours having ice cream in downtown Franklin TN. It was nice to see how open she was about meeting up with a latino off the internet haha. I'm not sure yet if she's dating material or just friends, though either one is fine with me since I'm lacking pretty severely in the friend department.
Edit: The meet up did prove that I can actually hold a conversation about anything.
Edit: The meet up did prove that I can actually hold a conversation about anything.
I think I have a good tip for everyone, you guys try with a suit and tie, looking like a boss. I know it's cliche but it works, it seduces.
Reposting since I got stuck on he bottom for 100ppp and 50ppp.
I just joined this site cause I moved to a new city. What do y'all think? Tips/suggestions welcome.
Quote to reveal: (I am not that GAF posterl but I did kinda crib his name):
edit: Also you're a pretty good looking dude lol
Also what is this "___ is checking you out right now" email? I got one thinking it was a profile view but I have profile view emails turned off and didn't get a notification for it on the actual site.
I just joined this site cause I moved to a new city. What do y'all think? Tips/suggestions welcome.
Quote to reveal: (I am not that GAF posterl but I did kinda crib his name):
Switched the photo and working on expanding my profile.
edit: Also you're a pretty good looking dude lol
Also what is this "___ is checking you out right now" email? I got one thinking it was a profile view but I have profile view emails turned off and didn't get a notification for it on the actual site.
If you are a good looking woman, then yes your inbox will be monster flooded.
I still message them anyway if I have interest. You never know if you turn out to catch her at the right time with the right message to get things rolling.
Getting responses is a crap shoot though.
Going out to meet herrrrrrrrrrrrr
Wish me luck zlatko!
Going out to meet herrrrrrrrrrrrr
Wish me luck zlatko!
It's actually happening?! DON'T FORGET YOUR RUBBERS!
Maybe you're putting too much thought into your messages? If you want PM me a message you've sent and I can try and help. I had my messages critiqued the other day and was torn to shreds by everyone. :\ So I have an idea of what might be a good message now.
"Can I smell your feet?"
"Yo baby! Ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?!"
"DTF?"
^These 3 messages will help assert your dominance and creeper status ASAP to help you get many a reply from ladies on OKC. 100% serial killer approved.
How bad could your messages possibly be/have been DarkLord? Post some examples as I'm super curious.
I'm not ashamed of putting my stuff out there and getting critiqued. I'm an art student so I'm used to it.
Here are a couple that I've sent out. I want you guys to hit me as hard as you can. After all, we're all in this thread to learn from one another:
I just realized that they sound pretty boring, that I need to proof read my messages, and stop using the word "You mentioned." Let's see what you guys pick up. Note: I erased the messages that sent out to other women to wash away the bitterness and clear my box.
@sphinx, I have about 2 pictures of me in a suit; one close up and one long shot taken in front of the mirror with my phone. I had the long shot up, but I removed it because of the quality. I suppose I can give them another shot.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
While in OKCupid, I was there for a week, I got la lot of messages, tons of instant messages, lots of them were either creepy or not thought of at all. Also had a guy attempting to do the Nice Guy approach.
POF had a shitload more people, and in average it's worse. That's why people should be forgiving here, girls have so much shit constantly thrown their way it's inevitable to ignore some good people sometimes.
At this point the girls don't seem to be very fun...I've sent really jovial messages, more mature ones, one basically trolling just trying to get a reply...Nothing. OKcupid conditions women to be absurdly picky and fickle, it's easier to just to a bar and try to meet one randomly.
I generally ask 2-3 questions in a message, or if it is just 2 questions, then I make sure to say something funny in relation to their profile.
Don't be afraid to flirt a bit more too in your messages.
I'll post some when I can tonight but I really didn't think they were that bad. Apparently they made me seem like I have "devastatingly low standards"(fucking ouch) and come off bland and too formulaic. I have to be more funny and forward. So I was and then got told off for touching on subjects I shouldn't, ugh! I still got a reply from that girl so it worked. Though honestly, a lot of the people who checked my profile, I looked at theirs and most came off extremely nerdy or pompous. So I take the comments with a grain of salt.
I'd add a bit more to them. A funny or witty first sentence relating to their profile, and maybe include a bit more of an interesting question. It can be hard, especially when half the profiles are bland as fuck or 50% about them studying(boooring) but do your best to get them interested. Don't be afraid to be a bit of a smart arse either.
Invisible Man
aka SexyNerd
So, OkCupid asked me to be a moderator.
Anyone else been tasked with this?
Anyone else been tasked with this?
Of course everyone knows that meeting women in person>>>>>>meeting women via dating websites.
I seem to have a hard time getting replies because I'm a person of color who doesn't have 9-5 job like many young professional women on the site do and nor and have I been to the 7 corners of the world. I find that women who post "If you can make me laugh" or snotty "I don't read generic "hey, how's it going? messages"" in their profile to be hypocrites because they will automatically respond to a hot looking guy with one picture and a bare bones profile who sends out the said generic message (I keep thinking of my brother).
I see, thanks guys. Sending out messages feels like a chore to me so that's probably why I come off sounding so boring. I'll put a little bit more thought into even I feel like I'm over thinking about it. The other types of messages that I've sent out were the aforementioned generic "Hey, how's it going?" or "Hey, how was your day?" messages that my brother likes to send out a lot and has success with.
johnny_park
Member
This is the message I send to everyone:
How's it going? Are you originally from Hawaii?
40% of the time I get a response.
How's it going? Are you originally from Hawaii?
40% of the time I get a response.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Jipan, those are good starts and way better than the usual paragraphs I've seen most dudes send, but I agree with everyone else that there needs to be more flirting and joking. Try to find a way to send the same type of message with something legitimately funny or forward.
A lot of girls mention that they don't like drama, so I've had success with messages similar to "but then I noticed you're not interested in drama, so we might not work out." It's also a good way to weed out the slower people that will take that statement totally seriously instead of as an obvious joke.
A lot of girls mention that they don't like drama, so I've had success with messages similar to "but then I noticed you're not interested in drama, so we might not work out." It's also a good way to weed out the slower people that will take that statement totally seriously instead of as an obvious joke.
Do you realize who you're replying to?
Invisible Man
aka SexyNerd
I guess this flagged message is something you should avoid guys.
Also, I have got a couple guys who have uploaded dick pics even though it plainly says those aren't allowed.
Also, I have got a couple guys who have uploaded dick pics even though it plainly says those aren't allowed.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Get ready to see endless dicks.
For some reason, a lot of dudes use this as an ice breaker.
Are you unemployed Jipan? That is a bit of a deal breaker. I may be behind in life as a 24 year old male by not having a college degree yet or living in my own place, but at least I know having a job, going to school, and not living with my parents is all pluses.
Yeah a lot of the better looking women that I'm attracted to on this site are way more outgoing than myself with lots of hiking, rock climbing, skiing, etc. Fortunately I'm always up for doing shit at least once, so if a first date or later on was wanting to go do some of those things I'd still be up for it, but I'd let them know they'll have to protect my supple young man nips and be my yoda.
Finding a nerdy, super good looking, and homebody girl is like hitting the jackpot of some sorts, so good luck with that to anyone lol.
Yeah a lot of the better looking women that I'm attracted to on this site are way more outgoing than myself with lots of hiking, rock climbing, skiing, etc. Fortunately I'm always up for doing shit at least once, so if a first date or later on was wanting to go do some of those things I'd still be up for it, but I'd let them know they'll have to protect my supple young man nips and be my yoda.
Finding a nerdy, super good looking, and homebody girl is like hitting the jackpot of some sorts, so good luck with that to anyone lol.
Invisible Man
aka SexyNerd
Are you a moderator on OkCupid too?
Edit: Another one to learn from guys!
They don't know it was you, per se. When someone gets an email saying you were highly rated, it shows like 9 profiles (yours being one of them) and then asks you to rate those. If you happen to highly rate the person that rated you, it'll let both of you know.
I've gotten some that just straight up tell me who rated me.
Hmm, they must've changed it then.
*looks at avatar* Yeah, we're colored man.
I still think that has something to do with that although it comes down to individual preference because some women like going out with guys of a different race and others don't. As a secondary means of meeting women online dating works. Not so much as a primary way unless you're out of college and have a hard time meeting women. Yeah, I'm a full time student, but I have money to go out and stuff like that every month after fraternity expenses (which sucks) and subway fare and I live with my mother (who's out of town until mid August). I also sell textbooks and video games online.
I have work-study as well; I plan on going to school tomorrow to get the form from the place that has an opening.The only other thing is that I'm pretty frugal when it comes to spending money on a date; the cheapest thing I've done on a date was go to a park to chat and that's it. So I don't really like spending money on a date; there's plenty of things to do in the city that's free or dirt cheap.
scotcheggz
Member
I'd smash you des. I just clicked your profile link though and it took me to my own okc profile.. Is that something I'm doing?
You'll just have to be more selective in who you pick and what age you pick. Clearly a 24 year old with her bachelor's done is not going to be that ideal for you since bringing her to your mama's place will more than likely make her cringe. Just the way it is.
You guys could also try geek2geek as a site. I stumbled on it, and I'd make a profile there too, but all the women I was seeing in my area are either A) without a pic B) not cute or C) haven't been online on the site in months.
Something has to break in your case though Jipan. It's definitely not your looks getting in the way.
You guys could also try geek2geek as a site. I stumbled on it, and I'd make a profile there too, but all the women I was seeing in my area are either A) without a pic B) not cute or C) haven't been online on the site in months.
Something has to break in your case though Jipan. It's definitely not your looks getting in the way.
Yeah that's true; I'll definitely pick lower down the age range, set it to the 19-25 range and actively seek out college students (who are not vegetarians and don't smoke or do drugs). I've tried hitting up students but no dice.
The problem is that times are tough; nobody has a job in their field of interest straight of college these days. Here in New York, it's rare to see someone who has their own place and doesn't live with room mates unless they make at least $40,000 a year. It's pretty common to hear stories of women living with their parents post graduation. I don't see why women should have a problem going out with a guy who still lives his parents.
If anyone wants to look at my profile again, let me know and I'll post the link. I think it might be the information that I have on my profile.
:lol @ bolded.
I cannot find any women that fit that. Even the girl I'm super into and went on date with Friday drinks and does smoke up. I'm cool with it since she has a shit ton going on and is by no means coming off as a huge pot head.
I completely agree that times are tough, but people still seem to have the same high values of what they want out of a dude unfortunately. The reason women have a problem with a guy living with his folks is they can't have that come over to your place for privacy and sleep over.
FelixOrion
Poet Centuriate
I hate living in the middle of nowhere. The pickings are few and very distant.
I think pickings suck in general on the site. Every girl I've had message me is dull as hell. I did meet one great one and had one awesome date with her. Planning a second one soon, but most of the girl on OKC are either boring or seem to think they are too good for people.
TheKaeptain
Banned
That is what POF.com is for young Des.
FelixOrion
Poet Centuriate
Well, when I've basically messaged everyone in my age group there within 100 miles and few like 4 or 5 years older than me (but they aren't interested in younger guys generally), I think that's an issue. Seriously, there are literally 7 girls my age on OKC within that distance. I can't imagine what big cities are like for it, but it can't be this bad, can it?
FelixOrion
Poet Centuriate
Maybe just a courtesy reply, because I know it can suck sending out messages and getting nothing back, but I'm kinda conflicted cause while I know I would like replies back, I know it would seriously be setting someone up to get let down harder, idk.
scotcheggz
Member
I always message people back, to be honest I'm not really sure what I want at the moment so OKC is just keeping my options open I suppose so yeh, I always chat some back and forth for a while with most people and somehow shoehorn in somewhere that I'm not really keen to meet but hey, you seem nice and put it into their court if they want to continue with messages for a bit.
I have one exception, I never message girls who put crazy demands on their "you should message me if" section, like this person is some kind of high prize I should put on a pedestal or some shit, I dunno, does that bug anyone else? Maybe I'm just being too harsh lol.
I don't know what it is about these sites either. I'm on OKCupid and Match.com. I had one coffee date with a woman from Match.com a couple weeks ago. It went ok, but didn't quite "click" and it turns out she's a Jesus-freak....she talked mostly about the church missions she goes on (there was no mention of this in her profile). I think she wore her "conservative church clothes" to the date. Ugh...
I now have another one lined up on Match.com who I've been talking to quite a bit over the last week or 10 days. So far, so good. She said she was going to be out of town this weekend so once I get a reply from her, I'll ask her out for Friday and we'll see how it goes.
Overall, though....for the life of me, I can't figure out what 90+% of the women on these sites want. I've tried short, thoughtful messages. I've tried messaging showing that I actually read their profile and ask questions about it and comment on certain things, especially things we may have in common. I've tried funny. Out of all the girls I have messaged, I've received probably 5 or 6 responses, including one that just said she's not interested.
Reading around though, I guess this is pretty much par for the course when it comes to these sites.
I'm at over 90+ messages sent on OKC, and if we add in the 10 or so on POF, then I'm over 100, and the results are more or less shit.
Up to now there has been 4 girls of those 100 that I clicked with. Girl 1 I messaged more than anyone in my life. 60+messages in like a week, hour long talks on AIM, etc, and then when we tried to set up hanging out on a weekend and me giving her my digits which she wanted, I never heard from her again. Yes my mind is still full of fuck over this chick, because the conversations, what was said, how it was said, etc just flowed so damn well. I did all the right shit too to not be creepy but fuck it.
Next girl, went on a date with back on the 4th of July. Cute, smart, and we fooled around. Turns out she's busy pursuing some other guy off OKC who really won't even give her the time of day. Not sure why she'd like to be treated like shit, when I was being nice and attentive. Gave up after asking for a second date and getting shot down. Friend zoned her, and now we just talk here and there with texts or facebook. Not asking her out again. She can ask me if she gives a shit.
Girl three, the girl I had a date with last Friday is AMAZING. Situation is that we are both busy as shit and I do live an hour away. Yes I'd have no problem coming up to see her after work on evenings, but she does seem to be the more play it slow type. Second date should be this coming weekend, I hope. I'm convinced if second date goes over well, then the door to more hanging out will open, and things can roll out.
Finally, girl 4, talked with a lot few days, accidentally ignored her one evening, then when I tried to talk to her a day later she blew me off haha.
In between these 4 hopefuls have been plenty of messaging for about 25ish girls. However, it's usually 2-3 messages long and then no reply to my last one. I'm not going to be a creep and double message if they don't reply back, because I usually take that as a sign to just give up and move on.
Currently, I'm messaging 4 girls on OKC. One lives in Nebraska so nothing will happen there, but we have a lot in common so it's good chatting. Another is super nerdy, but a smoker which is a huge turn off to me, but again good chatting. Third girl is moving out here later this year and already set it up for this area, is cute and interesting, so no harm there either if winter rolls around and I'm still single. Lastly, is a girl I started chatting tonight so who knows?
So I think my success rate is decent at best when you consider 100+ messages. :/ Like I keep saying GAF, you must grind.
Up to now there has been 4 girls of those 100 that I clicked with. Girl 1 I messaged more than anyone in my life. 60+messages in like a week, hour long talks on AIM, etc, and then when we tried to set up hanging out on a weekend and me giving her my digits which she wanted, I never heard from her again. Yes my mind is still full of fuck over this chick, because the conversations, what was said, how it was said, etc just flowed so damn well. I did all the right shit too to not be creepy but fuck it.
Next girl, went on a date with back on the 4th of July. Cute, smart, and we fooled around. Turns out she's busy pursuing some other guy off OKC who really won't even give her the time of day. Not sure why she'd like to be treated like shit, when I was being nice and attentive. Gave up after asking for a second date and getting shot down. Friend zoned her, and now we just talk here and there with texts or facebook. Not asking her out again. She can ask me if she gives a shit.
Girl three, the girl I had a date with last Friday is AMAZING. Situation is that we are both busy as shit and I do live an hour away. Yes I'd have no problem coming up to see her after work on evenings, but she does seem to be the more play it slow type. Second date should be this coming weekend, I hope. I'm convinced if second date goes over well, then the door to more hanging out will open, and things can roll out.
Finally, girl 4, talked with a lot few days, accidentally ignored her one evening, then when I tried to talk to her a day later she blew me off haha.
In between these 4 hopefuls have been plenty of messaging for about 25ish girls. However, it's usually 2-3 messages long and then no reply to my last one. I'm not going to be a creep and double message if they don't reply back, because I usually take that as a sign to just give up and move on.
Currently, I'm messaging 4 girls on OKC. One lives in Nebraska so nothing will happen there, but we have a lot in common so it's good chatting. Another is super nerdy, but a smoker which is a huge turn off to me, but again good chatting. Third girl is moving out here later this year and already set it up for this area, is cute and interesting, so no harm there either if winter rolls around and I'm still single. Lastly, is a girl I started chatting tonight so who knows?
So I think my success rate is decent at best when you consider 100+ messages. :/ Like I keep saying GAF, you must grind.
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