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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!

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A Human Becoming

More than a Member
I hate living in the middle of nowhere. The pickings are few and very distant.
Same here. A women who messaged me today lives two and a half hours away. All woman evenly remotely nearby seem uninteresting and I have a low percentage match with.

I probably take the percentages too seriously, but they're helpful weeding out the people who I know it could never work out with. That same one who messaged me has a 63% match rating and I already found deal breaker questions. I'll keep talking to her if she wants, but I'm not expecting it to go anywhere.

I get into these phases of spending a lot of time on Okcupid before not looking at it for months. Hopefully this one ends soon so I can work on better accepting I'm forever alone.
I actually have slight hope I'll meet someone in grad school, ever so slight.
 

jvalioli

Member
I've made a huge mistake. I've only messaged one girl so far and she has responded but the subject I made the conversation of I'm not super knowledgeable about.
 

jvalioli

Member
Yeah doing my best with it. I was thinking about doing what Liu Kang suggested before but couldn't figure out how to work that into my response.
 

commedieu

Banned
Amazing date tonight. Started off so horribly. History - Long emails 3x. One phone call, 1hr. Texting a few days.

1. She rescheduled a bunch of times today (turned out I read a message wrong, so 1 of the times was my misconception) But it ended up in me deciding whether or not to tell her to go fuck herself as we were going to meet for froyo in the am. Finally met up at 8pm.

2. While at froyo place, I lost my wallet/money. Huge line behind us. While I was looking for it, she paid. (I took money out of the ATM, put it in my jeans. I have double pockets, so the money was in one of the double pockets. I had to explain that my overall plan wasn't to scam her out of 10 dollars at the froyo place.) When I panic, I sweat. I started sweating up a storm.

But this got the ball rolling. I could no longer play mr.smooth, as I embarrassed the hell out of myself, made it work for the situation. Called out the sweating, called out how hilariously embarrassing this all is. Poked a bit of fun at myself. We both have a great sense of humor, we are both amazingly racist(jokingly). Shes mexican, so I thought "Damn, no mexican jokes!" but no, she corrected that early on. Just a decent match. Looked identical to her photos. No signs of crazy, yet. Ribbed eachother a few times, talked about what we were looking for, compliments exchanged, etc. Finally was able to treat her to starbucks. Told her whatever my baby wants, she gets, and that I'll spare no expense. Everything kept closing so she invited me to chill in her car. Edit; She blew off some plans to hang out w/me for the rest of the night. Plans to catch & Bite and a movie on wed.

One of the best dates I've had in ages. I'll say that the OKcupid gals look like their pictures, where as match has a few liars. This was all thanks to: Can't find his name. But the Star/Rate method. Rating people 4/5. Few bites, few hit and misses, but the initial attraction is there from the ratings alone. I found myself dating women I really wasn't attracted to, just to get out there. Its definitely different when attraction is on the table. Shes a law student & awesome. Pretty damn good find. And I'll admit that its a little more interesting meeting an online gal, than a drunk girl at a bar to where you guys have to put the pieces together of the night to realize that you both hooked up with eachothers friends.

Oh, only possible dealbreaker. I love kitten gifs and cat pix with captions. Her response to that was "Oh, images with captions. Those are fine, but I fucking hate those cat pictures with them! I thought you said cat pictures.. hahah!" I stayed the course, and corrected her. I did say cat pictures. -_-

edit;

Ah yes.. Puckmarin! :) Good advice sir.
 

cdyhybrid

Member
Sent my first message! Here we go...

So, it's saying to expand my profile to reach 55% profile completion, but as far as I know I've answered everything on there...any ideas what it could be referring to?
 

Ashodin

Member
SUP BITCHES

I'm back from date with Girl #3.

Holy shit yes, I'm just now getting back.

Like I said earlier in my post, I'm done man. Don't need to look any more.

I drove down to Norfolk, and got there realllllly early on accident (actually, was just really fucking excited) near 7 PM. I sat in my car for like an hour surfing GAF (lurking, really) while texting her near 8 PM (our meeting time).

She gives me the directions directly to her apartment instead of a meet up spot (earlier today I texted her that I would cook dinner for her, do this shit man, it works wonders), where we would go out and select the food to eat together. Good sign, I think. So I get there, she's gorgeous, I'm trying not to like, jump her fucking body right as soon as I get there, and we head out to get some coffee at Starbucks. We get it, and they close on us (Sundays close early), so we walk away with coffee. We head to the Farm Fresh nearby and collect food together. Here's the big kicker:

We walk through the grocery store as if we've already been dating a long time. It just felt incredibly natural and comfortable being around her. Remember, this is the 99% match. I could sense she felt that way too.

After getting into her apartment and starting dinner (which I cook up a fuck awesome steak, some homemade food, and some veggies), she starts really nerding out and talking me about herself, her hobbies, her place, everything, I make my move. It was absolutely harrowing. This is the type of shit that makes or breaks the date. I slowly grab her hand, and she remarks,

"What are you doing?"
...
"I just wanted to hold your hand. I can't explain it."

She looks back at me, smiles and blushes hard, and fixes the handhold into the fingers intertwined one and goes "okay" and blushes even more.

Fucking ACE.

This unnerves her a bit (at least I thought so at the time) and we go into the kitchen to start making the food.

This is when I get even bolder, and when she's talking about the types of food she likes to eat, I move in, and give her a kiss on the cheek. INSTABLUSH. She cooes, and remarks "Oh... I really love kisses like that." I knew she loves the romantic stuff, so I went with something simple and innocent. (I was really feeling her by the time as an amazing woman.) After a couple more kisses on the cheek, seeing that the first was the go ahead, she turns in the middle of mine and we full ON make out in the kitchen.

FUCK YEAH.

That's part 1. I'm gonna eat then sleep. Part 2 later.
 
Finding a nerdy, super good looking, and homebody girl is like hitting the jackpot of some sorts, so good luck with that to anyone lol.

This is my wife. I met her on OkCupid, proposed in two weeks, and we married in less than three months.

Unfortunately, it took me 2.5 years of using the site on and off and about 10-12 dates (some quite horrific) before finding her.

What I'm saying is this: don't give up. Change your pictures, update your profile, delete and reactivate it, but don't give up. Timing is everything.

She had her profile for years and only came back and reactivated it a few weeks before I was considering leaving the state and possibly the country. It's a miracle we found each other at all, but I can't imagine what would have happened had we not come together at this point.

You might never find someone directly from the website like I did, but it is so easy to just leave your information there for someone to find. Don't get discouraged if dozens of people don't message you back. At least try.

One day, it might pay off. That's worth investing 5 minutes every few days to maintain your work (provided you don't overthink your methods and responses).
 

Jakeh111

Member
You gotta grind, took me 2 years to really understand that. Also dont get emo over when some one that you think is perfect never responds to your msgs, alot of times they just overlook the msg.
 

Jabo

Member
SUP BITCHES

FUCK YEAH.

That's part 1. I'm gonna eat then sleep. Part 2 later.

EuWxv.gif
 

Ashodin

Member
You gotta grind, took me 2 years to really understand that. Also dont get emo over when some one that you think is perfect never responds to your msgs, alot of times they just overlook the msg.

This is what Girl #3 did for a couple days. She looked it over and just responded later after she thought about it a while. You just have to be patient when you see someone who links up to you so well.

Maxrpg...what a boss.

I really need to use my cooking skills to impress a girl at some point.

Do this shit man. They eat it up (literally, lol). She said she never had anyone cook for her, and it was so intimate and romantic that it really just sealed the deal that she felt like we had an instant connection.

This x 9001.

Okay, PART 2 TIME.

Last time on Romantic Ball Z, Maxrpg had just scored first base with the woman of his dreams.

Will he continue his reign of romantic silliness and cute innocence belying a true deceptive sexual nature? Find out, on ROMANTIC BALL Z.

---------------

We try to continue making the food, as I'm cooking on her stove, and even so often, I'll come over, and we'll make out some more, and time will feel like it stops. Things start to burn, the cooking is neglected just so but not so much that it won't be edible (the steaks I cooked medium raw anyway).

She really wanted to eat the food but really enjoyed kissing and I felt like I was in a dream. I literally hovered in the air two feet, I think, and I could tell she was in a haze too.

We sat onto her couch with our food, and made out some more before eating, during eating... it was magical. Like our bodies were meant to be this close always.

You know you've found the perfect nerdy girl of her dreams when she grabs her Wii remote, queues up Netflix, and we start watching The IT Crowd. Later on, she puts on some Louie C.K. It was absolutely hilarious.

We finish eating, and we dispose of the dishes (it's all a blur right now), and then we made our way back to the couch (the main event, I could feel it).

We start just eating each other's face, I couldn't believe how well our lips and tongues intertwined as if they knew each other before, I've never kissed anyone so passionately in my entire life.

This lead to her getting on top of me on the couch, and I could go into it in more detail, but suffice to say, it started with head, then progressed to sex.

Seven Times. I have never, ever had that much sex in my entire life in one day. With ANYONE. She was absolutely blown away with how well we, like.... merged.... and just kept wanting it. I wasn't going to deny this woman anything, I told her she can have everything of me, and she offered herself in return. It was blissful and peaceful just being near her, really it was.

And that's my story. I was there until 5 AM this morning, when I got back an hour later and I got chik fil a. Needless to say, my body is fucking sore. But it was entirely worth. EVERY. SINGLE. WAIT.

Don't stop looking people. Keep grinding, you will find the one that matches you. I guarantee it as long as you keep your heart open and continue to look for love.
 

Ashodin

Member
Indeed.

Now what happens? Next hang out time? OKC profile being deleted? You talk since ?

next meet up time, Wednesday after Midnight, Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel.

OKC Profile will be deleted. I'm going to do it right in front of her next time. (Didn't think about doing that when I was there... I had other things on me. I mean on my mind.)

We've been texting ever since man.

1254172884282.jpg
 

zlatko

Banned
Good shit Max. Definitely jealous. I'm doing my best to not come off as too pushy with this girl about wanting to hang out again. At the earliest it might be Sunday, which for me suuuuucks since I tend to drive myself craaazy waiting when I'm into a chick. :(

I figure as long as I don't bring up hanging out again till Saturday night I'll be fine. I'm still trying to not be too over boarding on how often I text, though I tend to try to chat with her once a day. I'm going to not text her rest of today or tomorrow unless she gets a hold of me, this way it can ease my mind to know that she's still got me on her mind as much as I do her. :p
 

Ashodin

Member
Good shit Max. Definitely jealous. I'm doing my best to not come off as too pushy with this girl about wanting to hang out again. At the earliest it might be Sunday, which for me suuuuucks since I tend to drive myself craaazy waiting when I'm into a chick. :(

You and I get the same way, man. After the first encounter though, I can totally wait because I know every moment with her is precious and worth it.

I figure as long as I don't bring up hanging out again till Saturday night I'll be fine. I'm still trying to not be too over boarding on how often I text, though I tend to try to chat with her once a day. I'm going to not text her rest of today or tomorrow unless she gets a hold of me, this way it can ease my mind to know that she's still got me on her mind as much as I do her. :p

Overboarding on text: This is the crucial element to any sort of pre-relationship negotiations. You don't want to come off as too needy, but you don't want to come off as too distant either. I've advised guys a lot of times that are close to being one or the other. You want them to feel wanted, but want them to know that you have other things to work on in the mean time, but they're in your heart always.

as much as I do her.

I do her all the time

winkwink.png
 

BurningNad

Member
I made an OKC profile a week and a half ago. Messaged two girls. First one didn't answer. Her loss! Second one answered back, we texted each other for like 5 days (she wanted to take things slow, was listed on her profile, I didn't mind,) had an amazing first date, and we both deactivated our profiles a day or so after. Saw her a second time last night, many more to come. Woo!
 
I was glued to the screen reading your story, maxrpg. I'm very happy for you! I love success stories from OKCupid.

I met my girlfriend on OKCupid too, she is my absolute soul mate. We've been together for nearly two years now.
 

Jhoan

Member
I looked at gk2gk (for anyone who's curious), and I have to agree with you zlatko; most of the attractive women there haven't logged in anywhere from one-six months. It's a pretty interesting yet creepy website. I saw a lot of profiles that made me cringe. However, there are a couple of women that are pretty attractive that happen to be nerdy and check the site daily; I've only come upon 3 profiles that fit that criteria but I don't know if I should make a profile just to hit up those 3 women. Anything profiles past the third page and it's pretty much women that haven't gotten on in a month. The only the other thing that annoys me is the fact that women only put 1-2 pictures up.

It seems like it might be an easy website to meet women since there's probably not a lot of competition. A lot of the women seem to be shy/introverted as well so that might be easy pickings for me.

Two of the women have a Bachelors Degree and work full time so that intimidates me a bit; one is a student. One says she has to be friends with the guy before something develops; another one says "My boyfriend has to believe in a higher being and an afterlife because I believe that one dictates their life around these very two important beliefs." I'm not a religious person so that might be deal breaker. Plus she's looking for a relationship; I just want to go out with a few women before I go back to school in August. I suppose I should roll the dice and make an account although sooner or later, I'm bound to forget that I even made an account there. I don't know what to do.

On the OKC side, I still keep getting lurked upon; either women whom I've sent messages to or women who lurk just for the sake of it. Here's my profile again for anyone who wants to critique it:http://www.okcupid.com/profile/heightsartist Girl GAF, if you're out there, I'd appreciate your input. I haven't sent out any messages lately because I feel a bit discouraged but I'm on right now.

I might just make a POF account again to see what happens there although again, I'm not holding my breath.

EDIT: A lot of you guys have been on a roll lately so that's good to hear.
 

Ashodin

Member
Is it weird I got a little turned on from this story?

Just read part 2. Fucking boss maxrpg.
Canta-dance-2.gif

LIKE A BAWZ. That's how I felt when I left up out of there.

tumblr_lg2u87VEZ51qe7n09o1_500.gif


Maxrpg could write a book and overtake the success of 50 Shades of Grey.

Ahahaha that shit is some really wack writing man. Enforcing women stereotypes of losing control to men

Congrats max! Deleting it in front of her is a great idea, that's what I did and it worked pretty well haha

Good I hope it'll mean a lot to her.

I rarely say this, but maxrpg deserves a tag. Incredible tale.

Maxrpg
Seven Times
(Today, 10:20 AM)


Ahahaha you guys are awesome
 

crush7337

Banned
Alright, so I've been chatting and texting this girl from OKC since last week and we set up a date over the weekend for Tuesday night (she was out of town all weekend and I didn't want to make myself seem to desperate and schedule it her first night back). We've been having some good conversation going back and forth. I'm not going to say its a Maxrpg situation, but I think we're both pretty excited to meet.

I log in today and see she disabled/deleted her account. Now I know some will disable their account once they have a date set up, but she hasn't texted me today. I don't want to seem to stalkerish and ask her if she disabled it. I was going to text her tomorrow morning just to confirm, but I'm wondering if I should text her tonight and see what's up.
 

scotcheggz

Member
Alright, so I've been chatting and texting this girl from OKC since last week and we set up a date over the weekend for Tuesday night (she was out of town all weekend and I didn't want to make myself seem to desperate and schedule it her first night back). We've been having some good conversation going back and forth. I'm not going to say its a Maxrpg situation, but I think we're both pretty excited to meet.

I log in today and see she disabled/deleted her account. Now I know some will disable their account once they have a date set up, but she hasn't texted me today. I don't want to seem to stalkerish and ask her if she disabled it. I was going to text her tomorrow morning just to confirm, but I'm wondering if I should text her tonight and see what's up.

I don't think there's much of a difference confirming tonight or tomorrow morning, so if you're concerned could just shoot her a quick text to see if it's still cool for tomorrow. That's probably what I'd do. When did you set up the date? If it was yesterday I guess tonight might seem a bit odd, but if it was friday r Saturday or something, should be alright? At least that way you can see where you're standing.
 

crush7337

Banned
Minor crisis averted. She just disabled it since we're meeting up and didn't see a need for it anymore. Great to know that I'll have no other competition though.

Ugh, I'm even more anxious now. If she thought that highly of me that she disabled her account, that's surely a good sign. :)
 

jvalioli

Member
I looked at gk2gk (for anyone who's curious), and I have to agree with you zlatko; most of the attractive women there haven't logged in anywhere from one-six months. It's a pretty interesting yet creepy website. I saw a lot of profiles that made me cringe. However, there are a couple of women that are pretty attractive that happen to be nerdy and check the site daily; I've only come upon 3 profiles that fit that criteria but I don't know if I should make a profile just to hit up those 3 women. Anything profiles past the third page and it's pretty much women that haven't gotten on in a month. The only the other thing that annoys me is the fact that women only put 1-2 pictures up.

It seems like it might be an easy website to meet women since there's probably not a lot of competition. A lot of the women seem to be shy/introverted as well so that might be easy pickings for me.

Two of the women have a Bachelors Degree and work full time so that intimidates me a bit; one is a student. One says she has to be friends with the guy before something develops; another one says "My boyfriend has to believe in a higher being and an afterlife because I believe that one dictates their life around these very two important beliefs." I'm not a religious person so that might be deal breaker. Plus she's looking for a relationship; I just want to go out with a few women before I go back to school in August. I suppose I should roll the dice and make an account although sooner or later, I'm bound to forget that I even made an account there. I don't know what to do.

On the OKC side, I still keep getting lurked upon; either women whom I've sent messages to or women who lurk just for the sake of it. Here's my profile again for anyone who wants to critique it:http://www.okcupid.com/profile/heightsartist Girl GAF, if you're out there, I'd appreciate your input. I haven't sent out any messages lately because I feel a bit discouraged but I'm on right now.

I might just make a POF account again to see what happens there although again, I'm not holding my breath.

EDIT: A lot of you guys have been on a roll lately so that's good to hear.

The Shake Shack on 44th is ridiculously good; that's why it's packed all the time.
 

zlatko

Banned
Minor crisis averted. She just disabled it since we're meeting up and didn't see a need for it anymore. Great to know that I'll have no other competition though.

Ugh, I'm even more anxious now. If she thought that highly of me that she disabled her account, that's surely a good sign. :)

Girly I went on a date with last Friday had done that right when we started talking, but she's hard as hell to read. All of my patience will be tested. Seems those of you who are lucky to get the awesome first date have a girl who can't wait to see you again and is easy to read that she's into you, but for me I'm having to play an extremely long game.

If it crashes and burns I can tell I'll be super bummed haha. At that point I may even hit up match.com and offer them the dough to see how it pans out, but that's a bridge I can cross if I come to it.
 

Ashodin

Member
Minor crisis averted. She just disabled it since we're meeting up and didn't see a need for it anymore. Great to know that I'll have no other competition though.

Ugh, I'm even more anxious now. If she thought that highly of me that she disabled her account, that's surely a good sign. :)

Nah, she just probably doesn't want even more messages to pop up while she explores this new option (you). Could be awesome my man. :)

Girly I went on a date with last Friday had done that right when we started talking, but she's hard as hell to read. All of my patience will be tested. Seems those of you who are lucky to get the awesome first date have a girl who can't wait to see you again and is easy to read that she's into you, but for me I'm having to play an extremely long game.

If it crashes and burns I can tell I'll be super bummed haha. At that point I may even hit up match.com and offer them the dough to see how it pans out, but that's a bridge I can cross if I come to it.

Come on man, you know you gotta grind that shit. Sometimes grinding takes longer than others. Mine was such a long slow burn, fuck that waiting for almost a week was tearing me apart.

theroom2.jpg

zlatko, when trying to talk to the girls he's really into and they don't respond

Oh, we're Facebook'd all up now. Relationship status and everything.
 

jvalioli

Member
I heard it's o.k. from another Gaffer. So what do you think needs work and/or change?

I would be more specific with your music choice. Other than that I'm not too sure. I don't have a ton of experience of OKC.

Shake Shack is better than Five Guys and In N Out. Just sayin
 

zlatko

Banned
Nah, she just probably doesn't want even more messages to pop up while she explores this new option (you). Could be awesome my man. :)



Come on man, you know you gotta grind that shit. Sometimes grinding takes longer than others. Mine was such a long slow burn, fuck that waiting for almost a week was tearing me apart.

theroom2.jpg

zlatko, when trying to talk to the girls he's really into and they don't respond

Oh, we're Facebook'd all up now. Relationship status and everything.

Oh I know that grind, but being aware of it doesn't make it that much easier on me. Such is life.

My burn is slower than yours though in that it was about 2 weeks till hang out, and after hang out the 2nd one is now up in the air and more of a grind. I totally agree it will be worth it when I do get to hang out with her again, but having to play it cool and wait does make me go semi bonkers.

That image caption is slightly off. They respond. I just don't want to be the ONLY one initiating conversations on a daily basis. I can, if it doesn't bug her, but I feel most women will feel I'm "needy" or too "in your face" if I'm texting her everyday without a break. That's why I'm trying to not message this girl text wise again until say Wednesday evening, UNLESS she gets a hold of me. Like I mentioned if she does, then great my mind can be at ease. If I do end up being the one to have to spark up the convo come Wednesday evening, then it will sort of confirm some of my doubts about how into me she is in comparison to me her. Maybe that's a shitty way to look at it, but is there anyone here with a successful relationship formed from OKC where after the first date the female didn't want to talk to you each day, or were you guys still having to follow up and start conversations texting each day?

Maybe this is where I need more help with GAF. How do you guys approach texting? Any rules of thumb?
 

scotcheggz

Member
Oh I know that grind, but being aware of it doesn't make it that much easier on me. Such is life.

My burn is slower than yours though in that it was about 2 weeks till hang out, and after hang out the 2nd one is now up in the air and more of a grind. I totally agree it will be worth it when I do get to hang out with her again, but having to play it cool and wait does make me go semi bonkers.

That image caption is slightly off. They respond. I just don't want to be the ONLY one initiating conversations on a daily basis. I can, if it doesn't bug her, but I feel most women will feel I'm "needy" or too "in your face" if I'm texting her everyday without a break. That's why I'm trying to not message this girl text wise again until say Wednesday evening, UNLESS she gets a hold of me. Like I mentioned if she does, then great my mind can be at ease. If I do end up being the one to have to spark up the convo come Wednesday evening, then it will sort of confirm some of my doubts about how into me she is in comparison to me her. Maybe that's a shitty way to look at it, but is there anyone here with a successful relationship formed from OKC where after the first date the female didn't want to talk to you each day, or were you guys still having to follow up and start conversations texting each day?

Maybe this is where I need more help with GAF. How do you guys approach texting? Any rules of thumb?

I've only really gone on one date from okc, we've pretty much friend zoned each other, but that's ok. Anyway, texting people from okc or real life is pretty much the same, I would do what you're doing, leave it until she contacts you sometimes, you want to try balance it out I guess so that it's not skewed too much one way. I don't think it's too much of a problem if you mostly always send the first text but then it goes with flying colours, perhaps the girl has confidence issues or something and doesnt like taking the initiative too much, but I'd say if she is pretty short and sharp with her replies and isn't opening up to conversations after you always send the first text, well.. I'd say it's on it's way.

I'm meeting said friend zoned girl tomorrow actually, third time meeting up, I'm pretty sure we've had an unspoken settlement as friends only but still looking forward to it.
 
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