I agree with the showing off part though, but like most types of pride, there's a fine line to walk.
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
- Start date
- Status
I agree with the showing off part though, but like most types of pride, there's a fine line to walk.
Hence the pic being an action shot of him like at the pool with friends, or being out doors camping holding up some fish he caught or some shit.
Give the shirtlessness some context.
Kano on the Phone
Member
Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you? This isn't Hot or Not, show a little class.
Agreed. Just don't go overboard with the mirror shots and no face. I hate that so much. Are you in love with my abs, or my one part of my body that shows the most emotion?
Cut him some slack. He's just excited/nervous I'm sure, and wanted to share in his happiness of the lady. It's all fun and games though until she finds this thread on GAF...
Z
ZombieFred
Unconfirmed Member
Thanks for the comment Max. It's just there's a part of me that seems to always try to nitpick because of my ex and I have this silly mindset that "Should I do better?" but I think her personality is great and I love that and she has nice looks. We've been talking a lot and we have a laugh and do have many things in common but there's still that part of me that's cautious because of how my ex royally fucked me over mentally in some ways and got this perception of wanting the "perfect one" 
There's no harm in just seeing how it goes as at least it wont be any mega serious and enjoying the company and having fun and see it develop. Can't just thinking I will get everything off the bat at once, all my ideals in all areas can be done in a person over time as both mold to each other.
There's no harm in just seeing how it goes as at least it wont be any mega serious and enjoying the company and having fun and see it develop. Can't just thinking I will get everything off the bat at once, all my ideals in all areas can be done in a person over time as both mold to each other.
Thanks for the comment Max. It's just there's a part of me that seems to always try to nitpick because of my ex and I have this silly mindset that "Should I do better?" but I think her personality is great and I love that and she has nice looks. We've been talking a lot and we have a laugh and do have many things in common but there's still that part of me that's cautious because of how my ex royally fucked me over mentally in some ways and got this perception of wanting the "perfect one"
There's no harm in just seeing how it goes as at least it wont be any mega serious and enjoying the company and having fun and see it develop. Can't just thinking I will get everything off the bat at once, all my ideals in all areas can be done in a person over time as both mold to each other.
I know the feel about the ex man. I dated a lot of hella good looking ladies, then after the last one really fucked me over mentally I dated a cute girl, but someone who definitely wasn't AS hot as previous exes. Still I was attracted to her, and we had more in common, etc. Well turns out she for as nice as she is/was, still broke it off with me for the same reason the others had.
So really no matter what ball park you pick, women can still reject you. As long as you can find a girl you click with and want to get nakey with, then she's worth your time, but I know how shitty/shallow you can feel that you are only attracted to a certain level of hotness. My ex also ripped out a lot of my self confidence and now I question so much of my moves when trying to approach women.
Shit sucks, but you have to mentally pump yourself up.
Z
ZombieFred
Unconfirmed Member
It's a bit weird with me. My confidence is still high as a kite and know I'm attractive but it's my nature on how I act to women and not getting the pace right sometimes and got the image of going with the perfect looks as well the perfect character with intelligence. My mind only accepts both but there's that little bit inside me when I see this girl that wants to mold some of her physical appearance a little bit which can be done but I feel like a dick on thinking that.
Some girls on their profile will say not to contact them if you have a shirtless pic. The few I've talked to through messages have also said they just ignore anyone with a shirtless profile pic.
Of course there's probably tons of other girls who will respond right away to a guy with nice abs, so its really up to you and the types of girls you want to attract.
Then when you find the one who shares your interests incredibly closely.... JACKPOT
Honestly though, I really think her being a homebody and classified as Gifted when she was younger has helped make our connection so much more. It's uncanny.
Don't give up Zombie. Your confidence should always be "I can talk to any girl about anything she's interested in. I WANT to be interested in it, that way she knows I care."
I was bored, wasn't getting any messages so I figured Ah what the hell and posted a pic of me without a shirt on that I posted in the pic thread here.
I went from getting 0 messages to getting 2! High five!
I would think that girls (and pretty much people in general) with nice bodies will not only like to have a partner with a decent body but actually demand it, plus someone with a nice body tells you several things implicitlly:
.- they take care of themselves
.- they aren't depressed
.- they believe in themselves
how can posting a shirtless pic be a reason to automatically dismiss them.., I don't udnerstand.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Shirtless pics in front of the mirror do attract girls. But do they attract the girls you want?
If you want to show off your body, post a picture of you at the beach, you swimming, etc.
I usually find a full-body shot and the description works just as well, without all the vanity.
If you want to show off your body, post a picture of you at the beach, you swimming, etc.
I usually find a full-body shot and the description works just as well, without all the vanity.
GameplayWhore
Member
Ahh, excellent
first okc-date in a very, very long time. The ex-acrobat I mentioned a few pages back. We were supposed to get together for some really cool stuff this past Friday, but she ended up rendering all night. Tonight, we're going to a local burlesque show. I'll probably be quite a bit early, so I'm gonna don my jumping stilts and a silly hat and hop around in the park for a bit once I get there to keep myself occupied before we actually meet.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
That's what I've been trying. So far no good.
To both of you, I say I agree. I just switched my pictures again yesterday after consulting the OKC veteran that is my brother. One picture I put into rotation is a long shot of me posing in swimming trunks and slippers in at a river. Suffice to say, after changing them, while I was on the site prowling for chicks to hit up, the amount of visitors increased. That picture is two years old, but I still have the same body because I maintain myself.
Thanks for the comment Max. It's just there's a part of me that seems to always try to nitpick because of my ex and I have this silly mindset that "Should I do better?" but I think her personality is great and I love that and she has nice looks. We've been talking a lot and we have a laugh and do have many things in common but there's still that part of me that's cautious because of how my ex royally fucked me over mentally in some ways and got this perception of wanting the "perfect one"
There's no harm in just seeing how it goes as at least it wont be any mega serious and enjoying the company and having fun and see it develop. Can't just thinking I will get everything off the bat at once, all my ideals in all areas can be done in a person over time as both mold to each other.
If you want my two cents, the chick looks good. She has a nice body and some nice eyes (and I imagine a nice ass) so to echo what Max said, I say go for it.
---
After sending out several messages around 3AM, I woke up to check my e-mail and found that I finally got a reply. I haven't logged into my OKC yet but feels good man. Let's see where it goes; hopefully it doesn't lead to a dead end.
That said, I'm still gonna hit several more women daily because it is a numbers game in the end of the day. I don't even care about the match percentage rate; she could be 40% for all I care and it won't even matter as long as she sounds interesting and looks decent.
I'm definitely gonna try the age trick that zlatko was talking about. I currently have it set to 19-24; although I wouldn't mind going out with older women, I'm intimidated by them because they're more experienced on another level (I'm inexperienced).
Al-ibn Kermit
Junior Member
So a girl that I've never messaged/visited before visits my profile but then doesn't send me a message, so I feel a little let down but I messaged her asking if she liked my profile. She then sends this:
I'm like 5% sure this is a chat bot and I might be in for some dating site spam but here goes nothing.
Worst case scenario, you'll all know what to look for if you get a similar message.
Hey cutie! Yeah I did, was waiting for you to make the first move, glad that you decided to message me
Kisses,
adsf
I'm like 5% sure this is a chat bot and I might be in for some dating site spam but here goes nothing.
Worst case scenario, you'll all know what to look for if you get a similar message.
First date went well. We got coffee and walked around town for about an hour after coffee and talked nonstop for 2 hours or so. Had a lot in common, but no kiss or anything. I have a feeling she may take a couple dates to get feel more comfortable around me.
Set up for another date this weekend though to get some dinner and then watch some MST3K or bad SciFi movies with her.
Set up for another date this weekend though to get some dinner and then watch some MST3K or bad SciFi movies with her.
OriginofHysteria
Banned
So after a few weeks, the girl I was stressing over the date with last week and I are now officially dating. I just wanted to thank everyone in this thread for their tips and advice on
OKC in general and I do hope that everyone finds what they're looking for as well. I'll still stick around here and offer advice though when I can
OKC in general and I do hope that everyone finds what they're looking for as well. I'll still stick around here and offer advice though when I can
Woo. Got my first email saying somone rated me a 4 or 5 star.
Too bad she doesn't seem quite my type. Incredibly similar interests, but answers to some of her questions tell me right off that we wouldn't gel all that well (Hell, She answered yes to "Are you annoyed by people who are super logical?" and I'm logical/analytical to a fault.) That and shes a decent bit overweight, and not gonna lie, I'm kinda shallow about that kind of stuff.
Oh well.
I don't think I'm that attractive, but hey, I'll take it haha
Too bad she doesn't seem quite my type. Incredibly similar interests, but answers to some of her questions tell me right off that we wouldn't gel all that well (Hell, She answered yes to "Are you annoyed by people who are super logical?" and I'm logical/analytical to a fault.) That and shes a decent bit overweight, and not gonna lie, I'm kinda shallow about that kind of stuff.
I feel like a dick saying that, but when it comes to physical attractiveness its an instant turn-off for me
Oh well.
Had a pretty awesome evening! Instead of meeting at a pizza bar she suggested calling in a pizza and watching movies at my place. Hours later she asked if she could stay the night. I'll let you use your imagination gaf . Not really sure if it will advance from that, but definitely was a great time!
. Not really sure if it will advance from that, but definitely was a great time!Had a pretty awesome evening! Instead of meeting at a pizza bar she suggested calling in a pizza and watching movies at my place. Hours later she asked if she could stay the night. I'll let you use your imagination gaf
Did you get some? If so, fuck yeah man.
Tonight's my next date. We're spending the entire time on her bed. Infer what you will.
Update: My "bisexual" went quiet over the weekend so I had figured that was that, talked to her Monday a bit and then last night she asked me to come over. Score one for Dicer, lol we are all getting laid up in this thread. keep at it guys cause even a bad situation can turn around.
electricshake
Member
Was considering deactivating my profile again when I got talking to a guy yesterday. Ended up discussing our love for tv amongst other things. Swapped numbers and moved to texting. Haven't clicked with someone like this in ages. I'm away this weekend but hopefully we'll get a date sorted for next week
I only had one girl message me on there who I know read my profile, because she made like 4 bullet points in order of things she found interesting about me and commented on it.
The rest however are super shitty. Hey what's up, what are you doing, you seem cool, etc.
Even replies from women when I initiate conversations are poor since they don't try to put it back on you. Often the chick won't even check my profile, but will reply anyway.
Mind eased. Just got a text a few mins ago hoping I have a good day from her.
Feelsgoodman.
You guys really rock. Follow my lead into the fuck awesome relationship train, WOO WOO
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Personally I find that scrutinizing match % and questions just sets you up for more disappointment. So you're a 95% match, you agonize over a first message, and you get no response. Suddenly it's not "okay, move on", but "whyyyyy we're like perfect for each other and I wrote the perfect message!" In reality you should just go on the next one.
GameplayWhore
Member
First date went well. The girl looked oddly different from her profile pic (probably due to my weird difficulty with properly recognizing faces) but she's still pretty.
Almost missed her on account of her phone dying, but the plus is that it means I got to pick her up instead of meeting her in some anonymous location as originally planned. We spent the first couple hours at a surprisingly great burlesque show, where she spent the time horning out over all the topless girls. Afterward, we went up to Williamsburg (the hipster capital of the world, I'm told) and had sandwiches at a really nice bagel place (near 7th and Bedford, for those in the area). After that, I drove her home, but she stayed in my car for extended chatter for a really long time. Nothing overtly mushy went on, but there were a lot of smiles and comfortable touching. She used lots of ego-boosting terms to describe me (like strong, fun, and so on) and showed massive interest in going to the weird events I go to.
So I'm pretty happy about it. I didn't mind the 40 minute drive back home and this morning's ensuing shorter than normal sleep time at all.
Almost missed her on account of her phone dying, but the plus is that it means I got to pick her up instead of meeting her in some anonymous location as originally planned. We spent the first couple hours at a surprisingly great burlesque show, where she spent the time horning out over all the topless girls. Afterward, we went up to Williamsburg (the hipster capital of the world, I'm told) and had sandwiches at a really nice bagel place (near 7th and Bedford, for those in the area). After that, I drove her home, but she stayed in my car for extended chatter for a really long time. Nothing overtly mushy went on, but there were a lot of smiles and comfortable touching. She used lots of ego-boosting terms to describe me (like strong, fun, and so on) and showed massive interest in going to the weird events I go to.
So I'm pretty happy about it. I didn't mind the 40 minute drive back home and this morning's ensuing shorter than normal sleep time at all.
I've come into a bit of luck by the look of things. This one girl I'm talking to wants to go out on a date next week, but she's kind of busy with chaperoning a camp this weekend among some other stuff. I told her to send me a text when she gets back in town so we could get something going. Should I lay back until next week and let her contact me, or should I try and keep the small talk going via texts? (We've been sending messages since early last week on okc but I haven't met her in person yet. I'm just not sure if I want to use up all the easy conversational stuff before the date. It'd be nice to have some of that in my back pocket.)
First date went well. The girl looked oddly different from her profile pic (probably due to my weird difficulty with properly recognizing faces) but she's still pretty.
Almost missed her on account of her phone dying, but the plus is that it means I got to pick her up instead of meeting her in some anonymous location as originally planned. We spent the first couple hours at a surprisingly great burlesque show, where she spent the time horning out over all the topless girls. Afterward, we went up to Williamsburg (the hipster capital of the world, I'm told) and had sandwiches at a really nice bagel place (near 7th and Bedford, for those in the area). After that, I drove her home, but she stayed in my car for extended chatter for a really long time. Nothing overtly mushy went on, but there were a lot of smiles and comfortable touching. She used lots of ego-boosting terms to describe me (like strong, fun, and so on) and showed massive interest in going to the weird events I go to.
So I'm pretty happy about it. I didn't mind the 40 minute drive back home and this morning's ensuing shorter than normal sleep time at all.
She wanted you to kiss her dude...
Do you live around me? Which Williamsburg?
I agree with zlatko. She wanted to kiss you man. You should have made your move.
yo zlatko. During Seven Times, i just remembered her remarks were "Oooh, I'm gonna have to get you a key to my place..."
ahahahaha I love remembering so many details I left out
Deadly Cyclone
Pride of Iowa State
My only discomfort in these dating situations is that whole thing of what Gameplay described. I might have read that as "she wanted a kiss" but in other situations it stresses me out trying to figure out if I should or shouldn't go for the kiss. What's the typical first date etiquette? If it goes well and she seems into it, you try it?
I always picture that awkward goodbye after a first date in my head, where I have no idea if I should just give her a hug, or what. Makes me dread "typical" dates a bit more. I always like the women that lead the way a bit more.
I always picture that awkward goodbye after a first date in my head, where I have no idea if I should just give her a hug, or what. Makes me dread "typical" dates a bit more. I always like the women that lead the way a bit more.
So I finally get around to checking my message and the chick says "I can only see you as a potential friend." What do you guys make of that? Personally, I'm cool with it, no problem there, but that chick's getting her eggs in one basket. I haven't responded yet.
EDIT: Max, by Williamsburg, he's referring to Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
EDIT: Max, by Williamsburg, he's referring to Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
My only discomfort in these dating situations is that whole thing of what Gameplay described. I might have read that as "she wanted a kiss" but in other situations it stresses me out trying to figure out if I should or shouldn't go for the kiss. What's the typical first date etiquette? If it goes well and she seems into it, you try it?
I always picture that awkward goodbye after a first date in my head, where I have no idea if I should just give her a hug, or what. Makes me dread "typical" dates a bit more. I always like the women that lead the way a bit more.
You gotta understand though. Women are LOOKING for that type of romantic shit. They want to feel like they're interesting and wanted enough that you went in for the kiss. It makes them feel sexy and desired.
My only discomfort in these dating situations is that whole thing of what Gameplay described. I might have read that as "she wanted a kiss" but in other situations it stresses me out trying to figure out if I should or shouldn't go for the kiss. What's the typical first date etiquette? If it goes well and she seems into it, you try it?
I always picture that awkward goodbye after a first date in my head, where I have no idea if I should just give her a hug, or what. Makes me dread "typical" dates a bit more. I always like the women that lead the way a bit more.
Fuck just ask man. First date I went on here on OKC I didn't ask, just went for it when we were cuddling and touching each other laying down. At that point DUH you don't need to ask.
Second date with the girl I'm really into right now I more or less had to ask due to the context of the situation. Her roommate showed up and I had to go, and I didn't want to put a move on her there in front of her roomie. She luckily was like I'll walk you to your car, and as we walked and talked a little, she came in for a hug, and at that point I was like "fuck if I'm leaving here with just a hug," in my brain, so I was like, "hey could I kiss you?" She smiled big time and was like "yeah," and we had a brief exchange where she was getting into it. I later explained I felt like a dork asking and such, but she said it was really good i did and that she enjoyed it, so its'all good.
What's the worst that can happen? She says no? Great you now know that it wasn't that good of date and she wasn't that into you. EVERY girl will give you a first kiss on a date I feel if they are into you. Just be brave and seize the moment if you get a chance.
You tell her you got plenty of friends. PEACE!
My intent with the first girl I went on a date with was more than friends seeing as how my shit is set to looking for a relationship/dating. Just turns out that we're going to be friends now due to how it played out.
I'm not on OKC, nor should anyone REALLY be, to JUST make friends.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Well, my 96% match did look at my profile again after I sent a second message. No response yet, but it was only 30 minutes ago...*crosses fingers*
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Hey, it's the advice Maxrpg gave me. I listen to Mr. Seven times!2nd message without a reply to the first ever? Bad move player.
GameplayWhore
Member
Sometimes I don't like to make it that easy. Smooches should be earned, no? What, do you guys always have to kiss on the first date? *
Of course, I'm more used to the "meet person, have sex, become acquainted, become friends" mechanic, and this whole okcupid thing sort of jumbles it so that that second and third bits are swapped. It's a little out of my jurisdiction.
Also, yeah, Brooklyn. Really nice people in that area, though I did see somebody pee on a wall once.
* I'm aware of the idea of "if you don't go for it relatively quickly, interest will wane", but I think that interest in this case is substantially high to play a bit.
2nd message without a reply to the first ever? Bad move player.
No I advised him on his original message, and it was kind of a disaster. So I advised him to send another.
If she looked at your profile again man, that's a good sign, I think. Just wait now.
If you don't get a message, she's not interested.
If you do get a message and it's good, GO
If you do get a message and it's bad, FUCK HER
It's SUPER in her court now.
So the first message you told him to send was shit because of YOU, and now you want him to send a 2nd message to top it off? Why do you hate him?
I never have and never will send a double message back to back on OKC. No matter how you preface it I can't see you not coming off as a desperate creeper type.
So the first message you told him to send was shit because of YOU, and now you want him to send a 2nd message to top it off? Why do you hate him?
I never have and never will send a double message back to back on OKC. No matter how you preface it I can't see you not coming off as a desperate creeper type.
Oh no no, you read that wrong. He sent me his message, then I looked over it, determined it was kind of... off, then advised him that he could throw in a saving grace message.
zlatko: I have sent two messages to women before on the site and I got replies. It just has to do with how you set it up. The second message could be a punch line to a joke, or something similar.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
No, I wrote the first message by myself.So the first message you told him to send was shit because of YOU, and now you want him to send a 2nd message to top it off? Why do you hate him?
I never have and never will send a double message back to back on OKC. No matter how you preface it I can't see you not coming off as a desperate creeper type.
- Status
Similar threads
- Locked