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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
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Guys, this online dating stuff, it feels so very new age. I'm lost as hell. Here's the story so far
Started talking to a pretty cool girl, a few fun exchanges were had. So, I said to let me take her out. She said she'd love to. So, I said cool - it'd be within the next couple weeks cause I've got a job that takes the best hours of the day and a couple other things sucking all my time up right now, but I'd let her know asap and then I asked for the number so we could keep chatting in the meantime. She, in turn, tells me to just add her on facebook...
Is that how this shit works? Facebook, weirdly enough, feels like something even more personal than the digits, but at the same time, feels so very impersonal, or non-progressive. I gave her my number anyway, and told her to feel free to use it, but I dunno.
Started talking to a pretty cool girl, a few fun exchanges were had. So, I said to let me take her out. She said she'd love to. So, I said cool - it'd be within the next couple weeks cause I've got a job that takes the best hours of the day and a couple other things sucking all my time up right now, but I'd let her know asap and then I asked for the number so we could keep chatting in the meantime. She, in turn, tells me to just add her on facebook...
Is that how this shit works? Facebook, weirdly enough, feels like something even more personal than the digits, but at the same time, feels so very impersonal, or non-progressive. I gave her my number anyway, and told her to feel free to use it, but I dunno.
Facebook is good man. Don't leave shit on her wall and don't like any of her crap is my personal rule of thumb until maybe you've been on a few dates. Also, don't try to talk to her first on there every time. Let her try to start up a messaging convo back and forth too.
As far as cellular digits goes, GAF is right to not give her yours. A lot of time it's better to ask her for hers, or just play it cool until she just gives them outright to you.
Either way, figure your shit out ASAP to hang out. The longer you wait, the more screwed you are.
I always add people on facebook first, mainly to make sure they're not fake and secondly, to see if their okc pictures were misleading.
But yes, facebook and numbers exchanging go hand in hand in my experience.
FelixOrion
Poet Centuriate
This is how many single girls, by age with a picture, have been online in the past month and are within 100 miles.
18: 2
19: 10
20: 1
21: 7
22: 8
23: 4
24: 4
25: 7
Seriously, is just a side effect of living in a rural part of the country or is this business as usual? Because I can't imagine this being the same in a large city.
18: 2
19: 10
20: 1
21: 7
22: 8
23: 4
24: 4
25: 7
Seriously, is just a side effect of living in a rural part of the country or is this business as usual? Because I can't imagine this being the same in a large city.
Yeah no you are fucked due to your area.
Ahh, hahaha.
While it makes sense now, I had no clue, and it didn't really feel right at the time, so I sent her a msg(just before posting here, no less) asking if she was just looking for FB friends, and that it wasn't what I had in mind -in almost those exact words. No response so far. Fuck me.
But, in any case, I know now. Facebook still feels so very non-eventful, though. Like, if I was told to 'Facebook Me' after asking for digits in person, I'd be like, 'yea, that's ok.' That disconnect.
While it makes sense now, I had no clue, and it didn't really feel right at the time, so I sent her a msg(just before posting here, no less) asking if she was just looking for FB friends, and that it wasn't what I had in mind -in almost those exact words. No response so far. Fuck me.
But, in any case, I know now. Facebook still feels so very non-eventful, though. Like, if I was told to 'Facebook Me' after asking for digits in person, I'd be like, 'yea, that's ok.' That disconnect.
I didn't get a reply from the Kim Kardashian look alike. Just a profile view. Well excuuuuuse me, princess!
Has she been on in the time you put it on there? DELETE THAT SHIT, or edit it.
Nah, I'll just ride it out. She's probably seen it (Who doesn't have facebook ping them on a phone), and being non-committal to statements never set right with me to begin with. It's what came to mind and was said, you know? If she responds, I'll make sure to clear up whatever misunderstandings there may be, if she doesn't; lesson good and learned. I might cry a bit, though.
So what's the situation bro?
I'm just doing the back and forth texting thing with the girl I'm talking to while she recuperates as much as she wants. I've been thinking it over and really think she could be the one, I just need to give her all the space she needs and continue being slow.
For all those who read the thread about my previous exploits, it was really me just hyping up the first and second encounters. It's all about the slow burn and constant reinforcement of "I'll be there for you" that I am very good at giving.
Though I did get a text message asking how my work went and I sent a reply and I got nothing... huh.
SlipperySlope
Banned
Fëanor;40247824 said:
Is that the broadcast/locals thing?
FelixOrion
Poet Centuriate
Yeah I've figured as much, I just didnt know what other places might be compared to me. I'm sure online dating work great elsewhere, but I don't think it'll work out for me here.
Yes it is.
The situation is I'm fist deep up to my elbow in a rhino's asshole as I give it the ol reach around and stroke both horns at the same time.
Actually the situation is updated in my last few posts I thought? Going to hang out with girl 2 today, but I'm just in constant la la land hoping girl 1 will start giving enough fucks to text me and ask to hang out. Then there is the religious girl who has some great qualities about her that I'm willing to talk to a little more to see how that pans out just because. She's cute, so it can't hurt as long as we're honest and up front about shit, which she very much is.
Date with girl 2 though is get off work, drive my ass an hour+ to her place, make food together and kick her ass in Mario Kart and Super Smash Brawl. Like a boss. Should be a decent hang out day with her, but after today I'll see if I'm just feeling like we'd be friends or not. I detest myself to ever lead a woman on, and will not do that here since I don't like it happening to me.
Personally, if a chick asks me for my FB on OKC, I lie and tell them that I either deactivated it or don't have one. It's better to skip the whole FB thing because chances are you're gonna see some things you'd wish you'd never seen. As a whole, I think adding people on FB is a little bit too personal. The whole point is to get from online to face to face as soon as possible. Adding someone on FB is more of an afterthought; you're beating around the bush and delaying the inevitable (assuming the interest is still there).
The reason why I tell you this because the same thing happened to me. I asked her for her number, she wanted to do FB instead, I lied and told her I deactivated it and as a result she gave me her number (things were going good).
Unfortunately, despite sending numerous texts back and forth, after a period of not communicating (she was in Florida for the summer), I hit her back up to ask her to hang out. She never replied; I erased her number and that was the end of it.
@Soul creator, your profile is pretty damn good, unique, and funny; it's very charming. Your About Me section is extremely creative and outside the box. Your personality come out well. *Takes notes*
--
As for my latest progress report on the OKC front, I'm exchanging messages with another chick who replied to me just yesterday. I haven't sent out any messages in about several days (I know, I shouldn't get discouraged since it's a numbers game).
One of the other chicks that replied lost interest in me after I apologized for replying about 4 days later; she sent the message on Tuesday I think. I replied on Saturday. I checked who viewed my page, saw that she viewed it this past Saturday and swallowed a bitter pill. Oh well, on to the next bunch. Also, one of the chicks that I rated 4 stars about 2 weeks ago simply lurked on my page and that was it. I noticed that a lot of women that have viewed my page are mostly attractive. A lot of them don't appeal to me though,
Here's a bit of a dumb question for you all. What do you guys say in a message to someone who viewed your page? That you saw that she viewed her page and thought she was interesting? Or the standard fare of finding something in her profile that sticks out and asking her a question about it? I'll admit, that when I had my old profile, I sent out the former and didn't get anything.
SlipperySlope
Banned
Fëanor;40249906 said:
I understand how you can tell one specific person you want to meet. That makes sense. the one I don't quite understand is when you send a general broadcast. I can't imagine every girl in the area would get it... ?!?
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
If you got a message that said the following
what would you guess the woman's intentions were?
what would you guess the woman's intentions were?
Yeah, I completely agree, but I'm not going to force someone to do something they aren't comfortable with in this stage, especially so in the case of online dating, as I wouldn't appreciate it either being so new to it. Not to say that I won't make stands as to not get stuck in that rut of eventually losing interest, but you work with what you can get.
For an update: It ended up all good on my end too.
Murder.
She was just being nice. Take it as a compliment or keep talking to her. How far does she live?
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Over 2,000 miles. I have been talking to her and think she's great, I just don't think it's going to go anywhere due to the distance. I'm not sure what to do: do I just keep it casual or keep working on getting to know her better?
FelixOrion
Poet Centuriate
Idk, man. There is one girl I recognize from college and she would recognize me, and she keeps popping up because we're a decent match and they're so few girls near me, so I initally was wondering how long until I got a message about it, but she hasn't been online since April, so whatever.
My experience with the site is pretty crap. Again, about 10% respond but usually disappear after a few days of talking or want to meet up way too fast. Couple of crazies as well. I think dating sites are rare to work because it's simply too much choice and you kind of take for granted that you're talking to an actual person and not just a "choice." That's why it'll never replace meeting real people in person for me, there's more weight to speaking face to face.
Also - someone I work with and I traded profiles but we already know each other very well. We talk daily anyway, no big deal to see them on there for me.
Also - someone I work with and I traded profiles but we already know each other very well. We talk daily anyway, no big deal to see them on there for me.
I was on the site and president of an environmental club at uni and one of my members found me and sent me a message.
But it was casual and more of a "oh hey. didn't know you were on here too!" sort of thing.
So I don't mind. It's only awkward if you make it so.
SlipperySlope
Banned
Topless shots - yay or nay?
Well it's POF, so with any luck she'll be too bsy deleting messages to notice my profile.
Women say no, studies say they work and work fucking well
http://www.livescience.com/6116-4-myths-online-dating-photos-revealed.html
RedAssedApe
Banned
Any advice for short dudes? Girls seem to always write that they are looking for tall guys or explicitly write that they looking for guys 5'10 or taller even when they are short. haha
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=200876
Either that or there are profiles of people I would be otherwise interested in if they didn't state:
- They already have a boyfriend and simply want to meet friends(Reads like: Bullshit.)
- Not actually interesting in meeting anyone(Reads like: I want you to send me messages, thanks for the attention.)
Then sometimes contact just mysteriously stops(anywhere from 1st-3rd message), it's a pretty lame demoralizer. So I'm just inclined to believe the majority of quality people just aren't on this site, at least in my area. Also I'm 5' 6" so I'm inclined to believe that most women will overlook my profile the second they see my height, of course I can't prove this either way but I don't think it works in my favor.
cheststrongwell
my cake, fuck off
What did Maxrpg get axed for?
lol, wut. Seriously gaming discussion is a minefield.
RedAssedApe
Banned
I'm inclined to agree. Okcupid doesn't let you explicitly list height preferences but other sites I've dabbled in do. Most profiles I viewed would list a minimum preferred height about 4-6 inches above their own height. Basic rule of thumb seems to be that girls want to be able to wear heels and at minimum still at least be the same height or at least not be noticeably taller.
Its not really an online phenomena though. But at least if you met a taller girl in person and tried to chat her up she would probably be inclined to have a conversation so as not to seem like a B and you might be able to win her over if you have some charisma. You don't really have that luxury here as the anon aspect makes it hard to feel bad for not responding haha
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Who is your avatar of? With all the real avatars going around I was quite confused for a minute.
True Underdog
Member
Sorry if my profile pops up as viewing some of yours, I'm trying to get a better idea of how to word things.
I messaged a girl on OKC today because she was pretty cute and close by. Her initial reply is that she wasn't totally interested in me yet, but was curious to learn more about me. I asked what she wanted to know more about and then replied.
Her reply is then her phone number tell me to call her tonight or tomorrow if I find the time. I'm hesitant because it seemed odd to be not that into me, but then suddenly interested enough to toss her phone number after only an exchange of 3 messages. If I decide to call it won't be until tomorrow, but do I call or should I text first?
I usually like developing more of a foundation before calling someone, especially since I'm new to online dating.
Her reply is then her phone number tell me to call her tonight or tomorrow if I find the time. I'm hesitant because it seemed odd to be not that into me, but then suddenly interested enough to toss her phone number after only an exchange of 3 messages. If I decide to call it won't be until tomorrow, but do I call or should I text first?
I usually like developing more of a foundation before calling someone, especially since I'm new to online dating.
HP_Wuvcraft
Banned
I probably should have picked a better name than ComicConGuy.
Maybe.
Maybe.
But I have yet to see someone who could outrun bullet.
Maybe.
Maybe.
But I have yet to see someone who could outrun bullet.
You got caught up in the rush, like you say it's the best part. The bad part is the shitty low, but it sounds like you know how to handle it. So because she is skittish do exactly what you said "I just need to give her all the space she needs and continue being slow". If she feels the way you do, she'll come to you. That is, unless she is obstinate or overly prideful, then she might wait for you to gesture first. But only you would know if the later is the case.
If you got the body show it off, but do so in a manner that isn't just a mirror picture or some shit. Have your shirt off for a reason like you are by the water with friends or running. Anything where it makes sense your shirt would be off.
Honestly, she gave her number to you way too soon, since she's still a stranger to you then your calls are going to be awkward.
Good luck
There's a girl I'm chatting with. In her picture she doesn't look fat(she even has a photo where you can clearly see her stomach) but her body type is "overweight". I'm not opposite to girls that are a bit bigger but I hope that isn't a conveniently old photo and she's actually 50lbs heavier than she seems.
InvincibleAgent
Member
Meet her for coffee and form your own opinions! If it doesn't work out, just say so. No biggie.
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