Absolutely spot on. The allure of online dating is the unknown factor. Don't have diarrhea of the mouth right away. If you don't ask for a phone number after about 3 messages you're usually going to friendzone yourself. They get far too many messages as it is and it's exciting for both involved so don't ruin it by talking too much.
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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
- Start date
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Absolutely spot on. The allure of online dating is the unknown factor. Don't have diarrhea of the mouth right away. If you don't ask for a phone number after about 3 messages you're usually going to friendzone yourself. They get far too many messages as it is and it's exciting for both involved so don't ruin it by talking too much.
had an amazing 3rd date. Great food, conversation and we made out for like 30-40 minutes at the bar. Then made out on the way to her place (which took about an hour and a half for a 20 minute walk because we kept stopping to make out and grope each other
)
I really like this woman... She wants me to meet her friends this friday.
I really like this woman... She wants me to meet her friends this friday.
check your emails
Dark Octave
Banned
This is strange for me to even type this, but I find the thread title to be really...cute in a way.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlDkxwDyKU0&feature=plcp
Look at how many options a fat girl can have on dating sites.
Look at how many options a fat girl can have on dating sites.
paparazzo
Member
Probably because they get tons of messages with only "hey" or "whats up" and nothing more.
I know, but I got email only for 3 people, apparently there are more than that...
RedAssedApe
Banned
While browsing profiles today I came across the profile of a girl I met in college. The thing is, that was like literally 12 years ago. We had one class together and she was an acquaintance of a friend I was taking the class with.
Under those circumstances would it be creepy to bring that up (both initially or at all) or a good conversation starter?
Under those circumstances would it be creepy to bring that up (both initially or at all) or a good conversation starter?
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
They're not selective. They're popular. I know girls that have to just delete messages blindly everyday or else they hit their inbox limit.
You have nothing to lose by trying if you already know they have too much shit to go through on most days.
RedAssedApe
Banned
Yep. I've had a few friends who just got overwhelmed by the amount of messages they got and were like f- this and closed their accounts. And they weren't even like that cute. LOL
Problem is, I'm afraid my efforts to make my messages "stand out" make me seem clingy or psychopathic. Suppose it's the best shot I'll get.
i live in a tiny australian city and there are hardly any girls i find attractive on there - was one who i sent a message to but didn't get a reply back. still check every so often but it seems to be the same people.
i do get regular messages from du's though, even though it clearly says i'm straight haha.
i do get regular messages from du's though, even though it clearly says i'm straight haha.
I'm meeting a girl next weekend. She seems so sure with what she wants I feel kind of out of my depth(as I'm inexperienced as fuck) but I'll just try and keep up I guess. I got the not so subtle "If I sleep with a guy on a first date my interest drops to zero" but I think she included that because he were talking about sex stuff we like. So, if all goes well I think it's pretty obviously going to get to that point quickly.
That's OKC. Try and improve your messages. I've been on 3 first dates(including the one coming up) and messaged probably 50-60+ women.
RedAssedApe
Banned
Man...even the single moms are picky on here. :\
That's the other important point. One other thing I've noticed in this thread is guys falling into a trap thinking things are progressing but really they are just in a secondary void. What I'm talking about is getting adding them on Facebook or instant messaging them.
It may seem like progression but if anything it's the exact opposite. If a girl wants to add you on FB after a few dates, sure but anything before hand can be anti-productive.
90% of messages to attractive women are shitty one-liners or propositions for sex. Don't let it discourage you. I get about a 50% response rate, and I don't know if I've ever sent a message to someone who wasn't listed as "Replies very selectively".
They probably are if they're in their 20's. Once they hit their 30's and 40's and they are still single moms then they will start to settle for the nice guys they once turned down.
Yup, and if you want the ride of your life, 40-45-ish is where you want to be.
SpectreFire
Member
Did a rewrite of my profile and was wondering if I could get some feedback on it here.
Thanks!
Thanks!
HIGH DEF JEFF
Banned
Irony.
bodyboarder
Member
Try oasis or POF, might have more luck.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Don't say how hard it is to get into your field. It comes off as an excuse, even if it's a legit one.
I notice you left your entertainment section out.
Alright guys, I just started OKcupid and have been messaging these 2 girls. Only a few each back and forth. Where do I go from this? Should I ask for their number to text? To call? Their facebook? Just skip straight to a date?
Also, I noticed some girls message me, then take like a day or so to respond after I respond, and I can see that they signed on in the meantime. Whats up with that!
Also, I noticed some girls message me, then take like a day or so to respond after I respond, and I can see that they signed on in the meantime. Whats up with that!
SpectreFire
Member
Just ask for a date. No point wasting around with text and chats.
Still enjoy reading this thread. 
As for a small update on what happened with me and the girl I went on 3 dates with, we started dating officially over a week ago, and this past weekend I had met her mom and sister, as well as a lot of her friends at a few gatherings and such.
Also, sex, lots of sex.
Feelsgoodman.
As for a small update on what happened with me and the girl I went on 3 dates with, we started dating officially over a week ago, and this past weekend I had met her mom and sister, as well as a lot of her friends at a few gatherings and such.
Also, sex, lots of sex.
Feelsgoodman.
Still enjoy reading this thread.
As for a small update on what happened with me and the girl I went on 3 dates with, we started dating officially over a week ago, and this past weekend I had met her mom and sister, as well as a lot of her friends at a few gatherings and such.
Also, sex, lots of sex.
Feelsgoodman.
Hooray for happy endings.
True Underdog
Member
Went on 2 dates with the girl I posted about earlier. The first date was fun. Went to the art museum as suggested in this thread. She was kind of shy but I dismissed it as it was the first date. We talked a lot over the week and went out last weekend.
To be blunt, I was kind of bored. Not really feeling it. She invited me in after the date with relatively obvious intentions. I declined.
I have really shitty luck when it comes to second dates though. That may be more of a subject for the dating age thread.
To be blunt, I was kind of bored. Not really feeling it. She invited me in after the date with relatively obvious intentions. I declined.
I have really shitty luck when it comes to second dates though. That may be more of a subject for the dating age thread.
Jumped in and asked them if they want to get dinner. Is that an acceptable first date or do you guys do something fancy? If it was a friend that I already knew a bit in real life and a first date I'd probably just do dinner and maybe a movie or something...but this is like a total stranger. Feels so different.
RedAssedApe
Banned
Most people go for a quick meetup at a coffee shop or something that can be short and simple. That way you can feel the person out and aren't cornered into spending time with the person if you guys aren't feeling a connection (or if real life doesn't match the photos or profile
).Haha....consider yourself lucky. I just went through EVERY girl who had been on in the past week within 50 miles of me and I only came up with 5 I was even interested in messaging. So basically, I'll never get a response.
Get rid of the part about the 10 year old... I understand what you meant, but it still comes off as creepy.
dehydratedbabies
Member
Right after I got a "We chose each other!" 4-5 star rating message from a local girl she messaged me to say that she too is going to a concert that I mentioned in my profile, and after exchanging a few messages I learned that she was going by herself. So in the last message I sent her I included a line about how we should go together (it's in about 2 weeks), and her next message responded to everything but that line. I'm assuming that my next step should be to ask her to do something with me before the concert so we can get to know each other, but it's been a few days and I still haven't. I know that I want alcohol to be involved but I don't know what to suggest... Bar? Restaurant? A pint of Jameson underneath a bridge? What would a normal human do here?
What? Why?
Most people go for a quick meetup at a coffee shop or something that can be short and simple. That way you can feel the person out and aren't cornered into spending time with the person if you guys aren't feeling a connection (or if real life doesn't match the photos or profile
Ah that's what I thought. Was just seeing a few posts here about taking the girl to various things.
What do you guys do when a girl you aren't attracted to and not interested in messages you? I dont want to be rude and ignore, but don't dont really have any desire to talk back..
Deadly Cyclone
Pride of Iowa State
Damn this site.
Messaged a girl a bit back and forth. Then a few weeks back she was apparently traveling in Europe and had some drinks and we got into a good long discussion. I messaged her a few days later and got nothing back. Still have yet to see anything.
Sent a follow-up last night with my number in case she needs a study break for coffee or something, as she's getting a doctorate in psychology. She seemed interested and very friendly, so not sure why she just up and stopped responding.
Hopefully she gets back to me.
Otherwise I keep seeing the same women pop up on there.
Messaged a girl a bit back and forth. Then a few weeks back she was apparently traveling in Europe and had some drinks and we got into a good long discussion. I messaged her a few days later and got nothing back. Still have yet to see anything.
Sent a follow-up last night with my number in case she needs a study break for coffee or something, as she's getting a doctorate in psychology. She seemed interested and very friendly, so not sure why she just up and stopped responding.
Hopefully she gets back to me.
Otherwise I keep seeing the same women pop up on there.
dehydratedbabies
Member
How else am I going to drug her?
Really though, is alcohol unusual in a "first date" scenario? Aside from the fact that if I were going out with existing friends I'd want to be drinking (because it is fun and I don't get to do it very often anymore), I think it'd make the initial awkwardness less painful (and the potentially extended awkwardness less memorable).
Don't go in there w/ the intention of getting schwasted or anything, but I see no problems with going and grabbing a few drinks. Both of my last gfs started dating me when alcohol or weed were involved on the first date. Social lubricant and what not
It took a stupid amount of work and grinding to get here though. I think right before you hopped into the thread was when I did a "stats" post that went over how much messaging and the other dates I did before it.
I'm anticipating MaxRPG's unbanning so he can hop back into this thread and tell us all how he made out. I know I'm not the only curious one.
dehydratedbabies
Member
Yeah, getting wasted can wait until the concert. So can weed, because that's usually the opposite of a social lubricant for me
I just don't know if I want to choose a bar, restaurant, or something else. I think the optimal thing would be an activity that includes alcohol, but bowling is the only one that comes to mind and I don't feel like going bowling.
Bummer.
I'd say bar. I don't know how others feel but when I'm meeting someone in the early stages I always feel like the eating part of the date is a bit awkward. It's also cheaper and you can bail a bit earlier if it comes to that
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Reverse the roles. When you message an attractive girl, and she's not interested, does she respond or not? 9 times out of 10 she won't. And she shouldn't.
It's a question that gets brought up by mostly guys. They say they'd rather have a rejection reply than total ignorance. They can get feedback, know that they at least read it, etc. But no girl is going to spend 5-10 minutes going on about how your message was creepy and how much your profile sucks. And oh yeah, you're not my type either. Sorry!
Sure, she may mean well but it just promotes further inadequacy and/or anger. I've seen replies from guys saying "I didn't even like you anyway" and "you're such a shallow person". And those are the nicer messages.
So no, don't respond if you're not interested. However, if you really want, you can write a one-line reply that simply ends the conversation (i.e. there's no chance for a follow-up reply based on what you wrote).
RedAssedApe
Banned
I think the established etiquette is to not reply or if you really want to feel chivalrous give a one sentence response indicating that you don't think you are a good match and wish them luck.
I had this "funny" experience with this girl once. All she messaged me was "hi" and I didn't reply. The next day she messaged me the following (this is word for word):
weird OKC girl said:
Da fuck? That pretty much sums up girls in the online dating space for me. LOL
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