She probably had a stack of dates lined up for those two weeks. I would reply and say "2 weeks too late, later!"
Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
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She probably had a stack of dates lined up for those two weeks. I would reply and say "2 weeks too late, later!"
Yeah, that was kind of what I was thinking, too.
People are stupid for the most part. You're dating, so just roll with the punches. Id throw in a light jab about how many things you've managed to do in between the last messages...like climbed k2...
Can't hurt, that way. Its jokingly brought up, if they are bothered by it, Fuck their stupid face. Plenty of fish out there that would mention the delay and an mild apology... "lol sorry about the delay, blah blah"
Wait, so she asked? I didn't get that from the post I read. But that aside, even in the case where a girl backs out of something at the last minute, it has to be contributed to it being a dick move? Girls will over-think situations. Something about the situation has made her back away from it. Sure, you can try and peg that on a character flaw on her part or girls in common, but the truth is that this "buyer's remorse" is a very common thing with girls, and it's simply something having gone wrong with the situation.
If you want to increase your success with people instead of putting flaws on others, you'll be much better off assuming that this was your fault, and not hers. Here's a cross reference chart to why:
Code:
| Upset with her | Upset with yourself |
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
| You're right, but | You were wrong, but you've still|
Her fault | you're upset with | reflected on the situation, and |
| someone that didn't | you've learnt from the entire |
| want to date you. | thing, even though you did |
| Really? | things right |
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
| | You are insightful, and you |
Your fault | You're a dick | learn from what you did wrong |
-------------------------------------------------------------------------This goes under "she's just not that into you". If you were both free, and she wanted to meet you, she would've met up with you.
Yeah, I've had the few chicks that I've messaged reply to me 1.5-2 weeks later after I forget about them which often surprises me. They're probably busy, so I wouldn't let it bother you. You can throw in a funny remark if you want to, but otherwise, be cool about it.
SirIgbyCeaser
Banned
Nah, just take it to mean you tried. You can`t ask for more. My experiance in totally failing at OkCupid has taught me I don`t want to find a date or a casual fuck on a website anyway. Its sunny, approach a woman in public, the rejection or the score is exactly the same, its just not behind a computer screen.
Now its time to wait maybe one will reply in a few weeks. You never know. I`ve seen odd things happen.
I`ve secretly wanted to make a womens account to see what okcupid is like from the other side. Cause it must be pretty laughable to witness how pathetic the guys are on there, and how dog like men can be.
Don't do it, you will be depressed.
SirIgbyCeaser
Banned
I know its not going to be worth it. Take any positive exchange in conversation on that website as a win in a small way. Because women have it tough on there. Especially if they`re genuinely interested in meeting people on the website.
Women have it easy. They are bombarded by not only shit messages but good messages. Thats why good guys dont get noticed, cause they are busy noticing other good guys.
Well, what I meant was I did a search with filters to suit me, and I went through a tonnnn of girls and don't think there are any more on here that I haven't seen already. Expanding to match.com or something can't hurt. I enjoy the online aspect of this quite a bit. Not looking for cheap sex or anything, it just fits my style.
Freezie KO
Banned
I have to believe that it's way easier for a woman to ignore a bunch of bad messages than for a man to craft 20 personalized messages in order to get 1 reply.
Amory
Member
I hate this site. I really do. I'm not sure why I bother going on it anymore. I spend time writing out messages to girls that aren't even all that attractive, and my reply rate is like one in 30, maybe.
I'm not a bad looking dude, and I think my profile is written well enough. And then I try to glean something worth talking about from girls' pages that too often literally say things like "I like ice cream and the color red" or " I just love going on adventures" and never get replies.
It's just such a spectacular waste of time.
I'm not a bad looking dude, and I think my profile is written well enough. And then I try to glean something worth talking about from girls' pages that too often literally say things like "I like ice cream and the color red" or " I just love going on adventures" and never get replies.
It's just such a spectacular waste of time.
oxrock
Gravity is a myth, the Earth SUCKS!
Feel free to talk to women in real life. You may not get to pre-screen them for shared interests but you're less likely to be arbitrarily turned down. I think the ratio on dating sites just leans too heavily in favor of women.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Why? Two sentences tops. Be funny and direct. Get them interested immediately. It should take you like 1 minute per message.
TheKaeptain
Banned
Match.com in the LA area is so much better.
Freezie KO
Banned
Why is this?
I'm not even entirely sure what some women want.
I've written out a short, but thoughtful message talking about something in common in their profile and asking them about it. No reply.
I've written out quick "Hey, how's are you doing? How has your summer been?". No reply.
I've written out "So tell me one thing.....is 34 too old for you?". (I sent it once to a 21 year old girl)...Got a reply!
Then there's the women who will reply to you, but all the really do is answer the question and don't bother to ask you anything about yourself to keep the conversation going. Even after a half dozen to dozen messages back and forth....it's still me driving the entire conversation and her adding nothing to it. It feels more like a job interview than a conversation. I had it happen twice over the last month and I finally gave up on both of them.
Overall, I've done best with the women who have messaged/winked at me first.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Your problem is assuming the content of your message matters. Their inbox is loaded. They didn't read it or they didn't care. Laugh it off and move on to the next.
SirIgbyCeaser
Banned
Women who are healthy, don't want to meet guys online.
Same should apply to guys, but we're in an era of hope/hopelessness by the hands of the internet.
Same should apply to guys, but we're in an era of hope/hopelessness by the hands of the internet.
Exactly what I do.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Horseshit.
SirIgbyCeaser
Banned
Its the truth, meet someone in person. So they have feelings of attraction to fall back on.
Thoughts of first impression, real personality not profile summaries.
Responding to messages on a dating site is not what women want. They are on this website not for the same thing we are.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
If you knew anything about women, you wouldn't have to generalize and rant about what you think you know about them.
SirIgbyCeaser
Banned
i'm not ranting, i'm putting my observations out there. If you take the energy you put in talking to women on OkCupid into real life practice you'll be batting a 30x better average.
There's a huge shamefulness to hiding behind a computer to try and meet people, it's why i'm suggesting the women really there to meet strangers, are probably not the healthiest mentally.
Nobody knows women, some are just better at guessing them than others. It's all a game, and experience weather,good, tough or unfair is the only way to learn.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Your argument is based on the flawed premise that people are hiding by using computers. Would you say you are hiding because you write on an Internet forum rather than talking with real people about this?
TheKaeptain
Banned
GTFO dude. I have tons of healthy good looking friends that date online.
SirIgbyCeaser
Banned
Yes. Its taking all the rules of sexual attraction, and putting them out there on a whim.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Another flawed argument: assuming there are rules to sexual attraction. As if no one has ever been attracted, turned on, or curious due to any interaction but physical contact and face-to-face conversation.
SirIgbyCeaser
Banned
Good luck to you.
Haha, Liu wins again.
Yikes. This has already been mostly shot down, but that's a pretty silly thing to think. There are plenty of healthy (and attractive) ladies (and I'm sure men) on OKC and other sites, and in my experience those people view online dating as simply a matchmaking tool. It won't matter how well you hit it off online because it's never a proper substitute for that first face to face (and subsequent dates) to see if there's in person chemistry, but online dating is certainly home to plenty of healthy, sane, good looking girls and guys.
Devolution
Member
lul.
Anyway as to the message discussion the ones that have gotten me to react in the past were funny zingers relating to my profile. The ones that drone on either get creepy or just feel like the guy over thought it.
Do they look at your profile at least? I feel like my messages have gotten way better because 60-70 % will at least look at my profile, so I feel my messages/main profile pic are fine. Response rate is still fairly low.
I also feel like the messages I send out where I make a joke about their profile get the best response. I used to send the fairly cookie cutter "Hey we have this thing in common, ask a question about it, and then message me back if you're interested" to most and was rarely getting responses. Been sending more off the wall messages lately and am getting much more responses out of them. Takes just as much time as my old cookie cutter response showing I read their profile, only now I take 1 point from their profile and make a joke out of it and they seem to respond well.
Amory
Member
Yeah they do end up at least visiting. Which is almost more frustrating because I'm messaging girls solidly in my league and am getting the internet version of shot down.
I realize guys must outnumber girls by an order of magnitude on this thing so I don't really take it personally. But at the same time I start questioning whether there's really a point.
Also, when I see in every other chick's profile "Don't just say 'Hi, how's it going' because I WON'T ANSWER YOU" I get pissed, because that's exactly what every message I've ever recieved has said. Except the one I got from a dude, which said "You're cute, ha". I was almost flattered.
So just like a simple Hi, a zinger, message me back, and thats it?
Should I even bother saying "message me back if you're interested"? Seems redundant now that I think about it. Just end it with a joke?
Devolution
Member
Pretty much yeah. It's much more conversational too. I know the medium is the internet and all but would you go into a long awkward speech in person or start up the conversation with a joke or some wit?
Yeah the message me back is kind of redundant, if she wants to, she will.
Well I guess there's proof that women respond well to those types of messages. Explains why I've been getting more replies the past few days.
So I messaged this girl one night, she proceeded to IM me and we talked for a long time, eventually moving to the phone in one night. We got along well, not sure if it'll be romantic but she's just a friendly person. Texted a bit here and there but she takes a while to respond and such. But now I texted her earlier today asking how her move went (she had to leave for school) and no response all day. Should I just chalk it up to another one of those times where the girl just stops talking? I probably shouldn't text her again until she texts me back eventually right?
Yeah, going off and doing something else. She was keen to meet all week. She wanted to swap photos, chatted a lot, then backed out with a piss poor excuse.
That what annoys me. Going from "Lets go on a date" or "eh, bored now" in like 5 days?
HP_Wuvcraft
Banned
OKCupid just wished me a happy birthday. lol.
Girls. They're crazy.
^ Happy Birthday!
You guys think girls are more comfortable meeting up with you in a group setting? I asked this one girl out and she said she wasn't ready yet. A few days later and an opportunity came up and I just asked if she would like to come and join me and my friends for dinner, but tried to make sure she knew that there was no pressure, just a simple suggestion. Hope I didn't scare her off
^ Happy Birthday!
You guys think girls are more comfortable meeting up with you in a group setting? I asked this one girl out and she said she wasn't ready yet. A few days later and an opportunity came up and I just asked if she would like to come and join me and my friends for dinner, but tried to make sure she knew that there was no pressure, just a simple suggestion. Hope I didn't scare her off
It seems like a good idea at first! But one time I did that and she ended up hooking up with a friend of mine ROFL
When I was on it, I had way more luck copying and pasting some random message. I don't even remember what it was about.
Think about it on the flip side. When a girl messages you, do you applaud her on the content of her message then reply if it's well written? No. Chances are you go to her profile. Look at her pictures, skim/read the content THEN you reply. And if you don't reply you probably have a good reason. It's the same for women, but also keep in mind they have A LOT more messages to wade through.
Lol well I guess that can happen. She would have met them eventually...better to get it over with haha. I doubt that would happen though. I also doubt she'll come, we'll see.
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