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[soul creator]

And could you save some for the rest of us?

I've been on the site since early 2008, and keep in mind even with my "successes" it's still like 10 out of...a couple hundred people I've probably messaged at some point in those 4 1/2 years, lol.

It's still a numbers game at the end of the day, *shrug*.

 

[Jhoan]

Since I've gone back to school, I've been taking a break from hitting up chicks on the site. I just hit up a French/Puerto Rican chick that's into video games and has nice curves. We'll see how that goes. Flirting in person with women>>>> than online dating as I've been seeing first hand. Things are going well at school with women.

Any way, so one of the chicks that I replied to weeks ago, just lurked on my profile because I changed my picture. I'm not going to send her another message trying to badger her since I know better and I lost interest in her.

I suppose I'll be doing this on the side and hit up a handful of chicks a day because I'm meeting women at school every day. I even overhauled my profile, but I still get a ton more views than I do messages. Hell, I've never gotten a single message from a woman for the two months that I've been on the site. Well, no biggie like I said.

 

[Doctor West]

For all of you guys struggling to get replies, what kind of girls are you going after? Are you just messaging girls solely based based on looks, or you messaging girls that you actually want to know more about because their life/hobbies interest you?

All of the advice in here about how to "trick" them into replying to you is pretty skeevy. If you're just trying to get laid and spamming hot chicks, I'm sure that's pretty evident in the type of stuff you're sending them.

 

[Freezie KO]

For all of you guys struggling to get replies, what kind of girls are you going after? Are you just messaging girls solely based based on looks, or you messaging girls that you actually want to know more about because their life/hobbies interest you?

All of the advice in here about how to "trick" them into replying to you is pretty skeevy. If you're just trying to get laid and spamming hot chicks, I'm sure that's pretty evident in the type of stuff you're sending them.

I'm really not just trying to get laid (although that's a nice bonus). I haven't messaged anyone below an 80% match. Way, way more girl-next-door types than hot chicks. Some just average-looking girls that have something cute about them and seem like nice women.

I mean, I'm not going after women I wouldn't be attracted to, but I know what I can get (at least in "real life"). I'm not shooting for anything far above my own status.

But I think the "tricks" are useful. I mean, I could come off like guy completely insecure with himself, and while that might be more "true", nobody is going to be attracted to that. Most of my relationships in the real world have come from people getting to know me, not based off first time impressions. I grow on people. Like kudzu. But I can't do that here.

 

[Jhoan]

For all of you guys struggling to get replies, what kind of girls are you going after? Are you just messaging girls solely based based on looks, or you messaging girls that you actually want to know more about because their life/hobbies interest you?

All of the advice in here about how to "trick" them into replying to you is pretty skeevy. If you're just trying to get laid and spamming hot chicks, I'm sure that's pretty evident in the type of stuff you're sending them.

I'll admit, I've been a bit too focused on looks, but after realizing that even the most good looking women won't reply because they hit up by dozens of guys every day, I've been scaling it down going for more average looking women that still look attractive in their own way.

Hobbies/interests appeal to me more on the other hand, so if a chick is decently looking, I'll hit her up. I'm not really looking for chicks that are super geeky, but I suppose it's a plus. I'll admit, in my heart of hearts, I'm not looking for a long term relationship. Ideally, yes, I would like to get laid, but that's besides the point. My goal right is to date different women and discover what I like, don't like (already have an idea), and accrue experience.

I think the reason why women won't send me a message is probably because they want me to hit them up by showing up on the visitors list, or they find me to be too good looking (which I think is absurd).

 

[crush7337]

I guess I should consider my experiences on this site lucky. Met up with my 3rd girl from this site, and every one of them has been more attractive in person than in their photos online.

The date went well. We were originally supposed to meet Sunday, but she changed her mind and wanted to see me earlier. Had some ice cream and then walked around and talked for 2 and a half hours which flew by really quickly. Turns out she's a pretty big nerd. Loves superhero movies, Joss Whedon, and plays video games. She wrote a 12 page paper once on Ocarina of Time.

She did text me afterwards if I wanted to meet again the next day, but she didn't want to sound clingy/needy. I had some stuff planned so we're meeting again on Sunday.

 

[Az987]

Grrrrrr! If you want me to leave you alone just say "leave me alone" or "I'm not interested anymore." or even "FUCK OFF AND DIE!"

Don't just stop talking after we've been talking for a while. Its annoying and it leaves you wondering if they got your message or lost their phone or had a heart attack or whatever.

I'm being a hypocrite though because I've done the same thing a few times lol.

 

[OriginofHysteria]

I'll admit, I've been a bit too focused on looks, but after realizing that even the most good looking women won't reply because they hit up by dozens of guys every day, I've been scaling it down going for more average looking women that still look attractive in their own way.

Hobbies/interests appeal to me more on the other hand, so if a chick is decently looking, I'll hit her up. I'm not really looking for chicks that are super geeky, but I suppose it's a plus. I'll admit, in my heart of hearts, I'm not looking for a long term relationship. Ideally, yes, I would like to get laid, but that's besides the point. My goal right is to date different women and discover what I like, don't like (already have an idea), and accrue experience.

I think the reason why women won't send me a message is probably because they want me to hit them up by showing up on the visitors list, or they find me to be too good looking (which I think is absurd).

I always felt like if you wanted to find that one special girl, the next door type would be the best. Like for me a hot chick I meet at a bar is nice to hook up with but I'd never take her to meet my parents. Those types for me were reserved for the kind of girl I would meet in a library.

 

[zlatko]

Now that you're no longer banned, where's our UPDATE?

I asked for him to do this in the GW2 thread, and he said he would, but hasn't.

 

[Mecha_Infantry]

After telling my date today I'm running late, I sit down to look at my messages and see this unsolicited message:

Don't even know what to say...her profile says she just wants sex or short term dating..Think it's a dud though

 

[Ovid]

After telling my date today I'm running late, I sit down to look at my messages and see this unsolicited message:

Don't even know what to say...her profile says she just wants sex or short term dating..Think it's a dud though

Can't tell from the small picture. Is she cute?

 

[Darklord]

Still a better unsolicited message than I've gotten in the last...5 months.

 

[Doctor West]

I need some advice from you guys. I got a message from a girl that I have no interest in, but it was one of the nicest messages that I've gotten so far on any dating site. She clearly read my profile and had some clever things to say back.

Is it better to be a piece of shit and not respond, or is it better to be a piece of shit and respond which would give her false hope? I don't want to be a piece of shit, but I can't see any other way to approach this.

 

[TheKaeptain]

After telling my date today I'm running late, I sit down to look at my messages and see this unsolicited message:

Don't even know what to say...her profile says she just wants sex or short term dating..Think it's a dud though

BONE HER

 

[Ferrio]

After telling my date today I'm running late, I sit down to look at my messages and see this unsolicited message:

Don't even know what to say...her profile says she just wants sex or short term dating..Think it's a dud though

"strong, black men"

Kinky.

 

[Ovid]

I need some advice from you guys. I got a message from a girl that I have no interest in, but it was one of the nicest messages that I've gotten so far on any dating site. She clearly read my profile and had some clever things to say back.

Is it better to be a piece of shit and not respond, or is it better to be a piece of shit and respond which would give her false hope? I don't want to be a piece of shit, but I can't see any other way to approach this.

When I was on OKC I would only respond if they seemed interesting (even if I wasnt attracted to them). It technically is a dating site, but you might find a cool friend on it too.

 

[Vesmir]

.

 

[Doctor West]

When I was on OKC I would only respond if they seemed interesting (even if I wasnt attracted to them). It technically is a dating site, but you might find a cool friend on it too.

I guess I have to figure out a way to let her know I would only want to be friends and not come off like an asshole. It's already been about ten hours since I got the message, so at this point it may just be better to let it sink into the abyss. I hate feeling like a douche, but I've had many nice message rejected. It's just weird being on the other side of it.

 

[C.Dark.DN]

Newly single and expanding my options to online dating...not too much time/patience for the bar scene. Tear my profile apart. Thanks!
Http://www.okcupid.com/vesmir

/profile/vesmir

 

[Doctor West]

Oh and one quick question, is it worth it to upgrade to A-list? If I do, will other people know that I did it?

 

[Vesmir]

Oh and one quick question, is it worth it to upgrade to A-list? If I do, will other people know that I did it?

Up to you (not really imo), and not if you don't want them to.

 

[Ashhong]

I guess I should consider my experiences on this site lucky. Met up with my 3rd girl from this site, and every one of them has been more attractive in person than in their photos online.

The date went well. We were originally supposed to meet Sunday, but she changed her mind and wanted to see me earlier. Had some ice cream and then walked around and talked for 2 and a half hours which flew by really quickly. Turns out she's a pretty big nerd. Loves superhero movies, Joss Whedon, and plays video games. She wrote a 12 page paper once on Ocarina of Time.

She did text me afterwards if I wanted to meet again the next day, but she didn't want to sound clingy/needy. I had some stuff planned so we're meeting again on Sunday.

Winner.

I need some advice from you guys. I got a message from a girl that I have no interest in, but it was one of the nicest messages that I've gotten so far on any dating site. She clearly read my profile and had some clever things to say back.

Is it better to be a piece of shit and not respond, or is it better to be a piece of shit and respond which would give her false hope? I don't want to be a piece of shit, but I can't see any other way to approach this.

I wouldn't respond, unless you want to be friends with her.

 

[megamerican]

What are your guyses thoughts on smiling in profile photos? When I try to take a shot of me smiling I wind up looking like the Joker giving an evil smirk.

I'm worried that I come off as too serious. But would I be better off with a cheesey smile or grin?

Here's my profile for reference. I also changed some of the info per recommendations. Still not really enamored with it though.

 

[Jim E. Rossler]

What are your guyses thoughts on smiling in profile photos? When I try to take a shot of me smiling I wind up looking like the Joker giving an evil smirk.

I'm worried that I come off as too serious. But would I be better off with a cheesey smile or grin?

Here's my profile for reference. I also changed some of the info per recommendations. Still not really enamored with it though.

You got the steal is to stale question wrong

 

[Doctor West]

What are your guyses thoughts on smiling in profile photos? When I try to take a shot of me smiling I wind up looking like the Joker giving an evil smirk.

I'm worried that I come off as too serious. But would I be better off with a cheesey smile or grin?

Here's my profile for reference. I also changed some of the info per recommendations. Still not really enamored with it though.

You're good looking, but in those pics you seem a bit nervous. Do you have anybody who is willing to take a bunch of shots of you? I found that candid photos work well because you are being your natural self. Or if you can do something that makes you legitimately smile, have somebody take a pic at that time. If need be, you may be able to force it by listening to something funny while having the pic taken.

 

[crush7337]

What are your guyses thoughts on smiling in profile photos? When I try to take a shot of me smiling I wind up looking like the Joker giving an evil smirk.

I'm worried that I come off as too serious. But would I be better off with a cheesey smile or grin?

Here's my profile for reference. I also changed some of the info per recommendations. Still not really enamored with it though.

I would definitely smile or at least try to look happy in your pictures. Any girls profile I come across where she's not smiling I don't even bother clicking through.

 

[Darklord]

Siiigh. Came across a 92% match, cute, geeky girl. I sent a surprisingly good message to her, she viewed my profile and then no reply. And, the girl who rated me highly and seemed right into me just stopped replying. wtf?!? She was the one that seemed interested in ME. I'm having some rotten luck in the past week.

Here's my profile for reference. I also changed some of the info per recommendations. Still not really enamored with it though.

You look so worried in your pictures. Smile!

 

[megamerican]

You're good looking, but in those pics you seem a bit nervous. Do you have anybody who is willing to take a bunch of shots of you? I found that candid photos work well because you are being your natural self. Or if you can do something that makes you legitimately smile, have somebody take a pic at that time. If need be, you may be able to force it by listening to something funny while having the pic taken.

Haha, yeah I thought of that. The only thing holding me back is that if my buddies found out what the pictures were for I'm sure I would never hear the end of it. Gotta find some natural way to suggest taking a pic when we're doing something fun I guess.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

I need some advice from you guys. I got a message from a girl that I have no interest in, but it was one of the nicest messages that I've gotten so far on any dating site. She clearly read my profile and had some clever things to say back.

Is it better to be a piece of shit and not respond, or is it better to be a piece of shit and respond which would give her false hope? I don't want to be a piece of shit, but I can't see any other way to approach this.

Better to not respond than to respond saying you're not interested.

But it can't hurt to respond, can it? Guys get frustrated at girls not giving them a chance.

 

[ianp622]

Just a note guys - answering a ton of questions doesn't get you better results. In fact, you're more likely to say something that will turn someone off. Unless you actually enjoy it, it's a waste of time to go past a couple hundred.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Just a note guys - answering a ton of questions doesn't get you better results. In fact, you're more likely to say something that will turn someone off. Unless you actually enjoy it, it's a waste of time to go past a couple hundred.

No. Answer a lot of them, but make most of the answers private. Get good matches.

 

[Pastry]

Haha, yeah I thought of that. The only thing holding me back is that if my buddies found out what the pictures were for I'm sure I would never hear the end of it. Gotta find some natural way to suggest taking a pic when we're doing something fun I guess.

Just ask a friend to take a picture of you and another friend when you are out and looking good and then crop the other person out. What will you do if you meet a girl on OKC and you bring her to hang out with friends? They're going to find out at some point assuming you meet someone.

edit: Or ask a female friend to take the picture, she might judge you less than your bros if that is what you're worried about.

 

[Mecha_Infantry]

Date is done!

Was actually really good. Convo was flowing, made her laugh a lot and all the usual flirting. But she was nervous so man chilled on flirting too much

She's been on the site for a minute now and I'm her first meet up. I asked her why and she said she thought I was nice. Said she gets like 5 messages a day....laaaawd a'mercy! But deletes them all

We got on the same bus and were real close, felt to go in for a checky peck, she probably thought I would too but I didn't. Saying goodbye at the train station we did the little shimmy in to kiss, but I didn't go for the kill, then as a joke put my hand out for her to shake and she wanted a hug and a peck on the cheek....ended saying shell definitely be seeing me again

I did have her Facebook name, but forgot how to spell her surname, then told me she was too drunk to remember what it is...so she is playing a little hard now! Not surprised

Hmm I'm positive, but just too many chancers on that site! But she did invite me out to a music night with her friends, so might have to!

Oh and lol, when we were looking up her route to get back on her phone, her friend text her saying "ohhhhh so you're still with him?!"

Going to sleep!

 

[Doctor West]

Haha, yeah I thought of that. The only thing holding me back is that if my buddies found out what the pictures were for I'm sure I would never hear the end of it. Gotta find some natural way to suggest taking a pic when we're doing something fun I guess.

Your friends sound like dicks if they won't help you out. Tell them they'd be keeping you from eternal happiness.

In all seriousness, online dating is not a big deal anymore. Chances are they have profiles too and are also too nervous to admit it.

 

[Freezie KO]

I just hit 30 messages out. Still one reply, which I got exactly 24 hours ago. My reply to her went unanswered since then.

70 more messages and I'm going to break down in tears live on GAF.

 

[Doctor West]

I just hit 30 messages out. Still one reply, which I got exactly 24 hours ago. My reply to her went unanswered since then.

70 more messages and I'm going to break down in tears live on GAF.

Have you posted your profile on here yet? If not maybe you have some crazy shit in there that's scaring them away.

 

[ianp622]

No. Answer a lot of them, but make most of the answers private. Get good matches.

It's diminishing returns. Besides, nobody really cares about your percentage match if they don't find you attractive or your profile interesting.

 

[Slayer-33]

Have you posted your profile on here yet? If not maybe you have some crazy shit in there that's scaring them away.

hahaha

 

[Alligatorjandro]

Just signed up for this.

 

[Freezie KO]

Have you posted your profile on here yet?

No, I'm too shy. I kinda like my GAF world being separate from my other world. But I've vetted my profile with two female friends.

If not maybe you have some crazy shit in there that's scaring them away.

Yeah, my personality. :/

and I'm not a 6'4" Adonis.

 

[Az987]

Oh, and whoever said they use "I lost your phone number, what is it again?" line. Thanks! It works good haha

 

[soul creator]

After telling my date today I'm running late, I sit down to look at my messages and see this unsolicited message:

Don't even know what to say...her profile says she just wants sex or short term dating..Think it's a dud though

move over bro let me handle that

Spoiler

lol

 

[dralla]

I had some baller ass sushi last night on my okc date. found my new sushi joint.

 

[Doctor West]

I had some baller ass sushi last night on my okc date. found my new sushi joint.

I read this in a dirty way as a result of all the innuendo in the post above.

 

[Jim E. Rossler]

I just made an account
Never thought it would come to this

If we all conspire together, we can all message each other, but don't reply to them, that way we appear to be selective, so it seems like we get a lot of messages

 

[C.Dark.DN]

I just made an account
Never thought it would come to this

If we all conspire together, we can all message each other, but don't reply to them, that way we appear to be selective, so it seems like we get a lot of messages

lol, sneaky

 

[Ashhong]

Oh, and whoever said they use "I lost your phone number, what is it again?" line. Thanks! It works good haha

Wait what?

 

[C.Dark.DN]

Wait what?

I lost your phone number, what is it again?

Spoiler

I don't know either.

 

[Desperado]

Well, after 5 months and 55 first messages sent, I've finally got a date set up. I actually hadn't been very active in the last week or so, but I logged on, looked at my 'visitors' list, and found that one girl was really cute and a great match, so I sent her a message. Turns out she was supposedly going to message me, ha. Good chemistry so far. We are supposed to meet on Tuesday and perhaps go swing dancing on Thursday.

Feels good man. Of course, she could bail before the date happens, but at least I feel like I've gotten better at this stuff.

 

[Jim E. Rossler]

Judge away