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[crush7337]

Haha yea, these girls are just extremely fickle it seems. My latest strategy is finding the new girls who sometimes don't even have a profile yet, hoping they haven't been flooded with messages. I send off a quick message saying

"Hey how's it going? The OKCupid Robot told me to ask you why your profile is blank so here I am. blah blah blah"

100% success rate so far lol. Pretty hard continuing the conversation after message 2 or so because of the lack of information in her profile..

That's been my strategy. The 3 people I've gone on dates with from the site all signed up within 2 or 3 days of me messaging them.

I'm lucky if I can maintain a conversation past 2 messages let alone get a number with the girls who have been on the site for a while.

 

[Sleeper901]

So i've been on a dating site for a bit more than a month now (not OKC)

I've been on dates with 4 different girls (among these, I met two of them twice).

I don't know, I always find them more interesting on the internet. One girl I was particularly excited to meet and it seemed like we had a lot in common, and indeed we had but this was kind of a let down meeting her in person... (might also have been linked to the fact that her photos were too flattering). We had two dates then I went to holidays and stopped talking to her.
For three of these girls, i'm the one who who didn't answer after the first or second date, i'm still seeing one of them... we'll see how this goes...

On the site, my message sent / answered received ratio is getting dangerously close to infinite (meaning i send quite a few messages and have very few responses)
And i'm not particularly picky, I *think* my messages are funny and quite out of the ordinary as to stand out from the crowd, but sometimes i message 10 girls over the course of one or two hours and im kinda of let down when i don't get any answer afterwards....

It's really a grind, and sometimes it can be pretty discouraging when after finally getting on a date you find out that the girl is not really somebody you want so spend more time with...

Well, back to work.

 

[Necrovex]

Haven't check in here in a while, but just thought I'd mention that I finally met a keeper on the site over a month ago, and as of a couple days ago we are in a relationship.

Only took about 2 years to find a winner. :_)

Always great to hear a success story. Bravo, mate.

 

[Mr. Sam]

So you're saying I've got two more years of this? Balls.

 

[Alligatorjandro]

One girl sent me a message saying I looked mysterious then stopped messaging.

 

[Freezie KO]

36 messages out. 1 reply (Who took 5 days to respond once, and 4 days another time. Now waiting again to see if she will a third time...)

I get decent visitors though. Attractive, desirable, and about half my messages get visits. Which means either (a) the rest of my pics chase them off; (b) my height does (5'8"); or (c) my profile does.

I can't change (a) or (b), so I made some edits to my profile today. I'll see if it does anything... :-/

 

[Az987]

I had a girl respond to my first after 20 days, say she was sorry but she's been really busy and then respond to the second message in another 10 days.

She was talking to me today. I found out shes from another country and has only been here for a year and I'm pretty sure all the stupid jokes I was saying were going right over her head because of it.

Then I messaged another girl, said something like I usually tell a joke but I'm not in a very jokey mood, her have a puppy (why are there points on this site??). and she responded lol.

 

[jamesinclair]

36 messages out. 1 reply (Who took 5 days to respond once, and 4 days another time. Now waiting again to see if she will a third time...)

I get decent visitors though. Attractive, desirable, and about half my messages get visits. Which means either (aa) the rest of my pics chase them off; (b) my height does (5'8"); or (c) my profile does.

I can't change (a) or (b), so I made some edits to my profile today. I'll see if it does anything... :-/

You can nudge b up a bit, it's bit like they carry measuring tape

 

[Freezie KO]

You can nudge b up a bit, it's bit like they carry measuring tape

6'8" Gotta hate those typos.

 

[Bleepey]

Haha yea, these girls are just extremely fickle it seems. My latest strategy is finding the new girls who sometimes don't even have a profile yet, hoping they haven't been flooded with messages. I send off a quick message saying

"Hey how's it going? The OKCupid Robot told me to ask you why your profile is blank so here I am. blah blah blah"

100% success rate so far lol. Pretty hard continuing the conversation after message 2 or so because of the lack of information in her profile..

A few guys do this. You see featureless, sparsly-detailed profile with reply selectively! I did this on pof and it was upsetting when you got a conversation with a hot girl going but when she puts a picture up and she finds something better they stop talking.

 

[Ashodin]

I don't think he's full of shit at all.

I do want to know what the full deets on his story is though, but I feel like GAF is just giving him shit for the sake of shit, so I suppose I wouldn't respond either.

I may become reactive in this thread soon unfortunately. After a giant messy fight and a lot of bull shit this last week, I want to call it off with this girl. Giving her another chance, but I only give one extra one.

:/

what? waht the hell happened?

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Stop keeping track of messages sent/replies. You're too emotionally invested in this.

 

[Mecha_Infantry]

So I have a thesis to hand in on Friday, and I told my date I might not be able to make it to our date tomorrow. She said she works early on Saturday so can't go out on Friday...

...today she changed her shift on Saturday so she's working later....I might have a keeper

Too early though!

 

[zlatko]

what? waht the hell happened?

It's a long story, but the semi short version is: She was having a stressful week. I tried to be there in whatever capacity she wanted. She opted to take it all out on me and be a shit head. I figured when I saw her last weekend it'd be better since the relationship is somewhat long distance in that I have to drive an hour to see her, and we are both busy with work/school so only time we see each other is the weekends. I came out, it started out fine, but then she basically kept making me feel extremely stupid intentionally. Next day it only got worse as no matter what I would say would come back to bite me. She got lost driving, I tried to unlost us, and she was getting pissy and I finally STFU and said you figure it out yourself then. She kept asking for help and I said no, I'm not going to offer help to someone being an asshole when I give it. She apologized for that, but it didn't stop the rest of the day for her taking jabs at me for having slight blonde moments. Example being like we opened the bed she got and stared at the frame. Her friend asked if she liked it and if it was the bed for her. She wasn't too sure, and I said, "I'm sure it'll look better in motion." Now clearly that's not what I MEANT, and under normal circumstances I'd even take a jab at myself and laugh it off and laugh with others about it. Instead she gave me death glares and awkward looks so that I felt like a moron.

Finally after a long day of shopping with her for a new bed, bedding, and a ton of other shit, we came to put it together at her place. More jabs at my expense in front of one of her guys friends. We were putting on the sheets on the bed and I couldn't tuck my corner in all the way right away, and so she said something around the lines of like "Wow you can't even make a bed? I guess we have to teach you that too."

I froze up, didn't say shit and stared at the wall, and she then looked back at me and was like, "What?" and laughed. Now I can take teasing, and I give some back, but this was past that point a long while back. So I looked at her, and while normally I would have waited for her friend to leave and have a normal conversation explaining my being upset with her I just sort of snapped and I flipped her off and said Fuck you, I'm done with this. Grabbed my shit and left.

She then proceeded to chase my ass down and make a big dramatic scene outside of her apartments. I didn't want her near me or to touch me I just wanted to go home and wash away the stink of the whole week and weekend. She wouldn't let me go and was saying she doesn't think I'll come back if I leave. Which looking at it now, she's probably right. I told her to give me 5 minutes to myself so I went to my car to breathe and think. 5 minutes turned into 20 because I called my best guy friend to talk about the situation. Him(and anyone I discussed the situation to after) told me to bail the fuck out. Unfortunately/fortunately(not sure yet), she came out to my car and was crying. I let my friend go and we then proceeded to talk about the last week and all the problems I was having with the relationship. Her friends pulled up that I had just met the other night too so that was embarrassing so we took the conversation back to her place.

I stated to her that I'd gotten to know her well enough that I feel this is just who she is and it isn't going to change. She swore it isn't and told me to think about how good the rest of the time we've been together has been and that this was not who she is and that this week was just an off one for her. She apologized over and over in various ways, and made tried to "justify" it somehow or at least explain the cause. I also told her I felt we stopped learning about each other and just settled into the b/f g/f roles and a prime example was twice as we drove that weekend I wanted to talk to her and just engage in conversation, but all her replies were 1 word answers and then it was proceeded by raising the volume in the car again. Finally I told her that if she does try to change this, she'll be tip toeing around me and not being herself, and if she does slip up that she'll be over apologetic about it too and make me feel babied over it.

In the end I'm giving her one more chance, but I already have my foot half way out the door, and it doesn't help my friends are all telling me to just drop her. I hope this doesn't come to bite me in the ass and blow up in my face. Generally I take my friends advice on this shit and I can't exactly view it objectively.






That's the short version without all the details and it's still a long story. My mind just isn't into the relationship that much anymore. Going to use this weekend to gauge how I feel, but I've been a bit of a dick and flirting with a girl in my sociology class. Could have asked her out last night and gotten digits, but I refrained.

So yeah looks like more OKC is in my future.

 

[Sneds]

I had a girl view my profile and rate me highly. So I messaged her. She replied back and seemed really interested in me. I sent a second message and...no reply. I don't even know what I said wrong. I just replied to her comments, added a bit about my self like she asked, and asked a couple questions, that's it. :\

It's probably a mistake to assume that it's necessarily something you said. It may be that she met someone IRL, has decided to stay single, is busy, or various other things.

 

[Ashhong]

Damn zlatko, that sucks. I have had an experience with a girl that just likes to take jabs at me for some reason in front of her friends. All depends on the girls attitude and it seems like yours was bad. She seems sorry though? Just make sure you stick with that one last chance thing.

BTW, have you guys had sex? That bed in motion line was pretty funny if you have. If you haven't...maybe a bit awkward haha

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

It's probably a mistake to assume that it's necessarily something you said. It may be that she met someone IRL, has decided to stay single, is busy, or various other things.

Seriously. I hate all of you that take not getting a response personally. It so often is something else entirely. Your assumed connection with the other person doesn't exist in a vacuum.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Finally after a long day of shopping with her for a new bed, bedding, and a ton of other shit, we came to put it together at her place. More jabs at my expense in front of one of her guys friends. We were putting on the sheets on the bed and I couldn't tuck my corner in all the way right away, and so she said something around the lines of like "Wow you can't even make a bed? I guess we have to teach you that too."

Wow, this is horrible. What an asshole.

If she's implying what I assume she's implying, that's absolutely something that should have been brought to you in private and in a more supportive fashion. She shut everything down by making it into a way to create distance and antagonize you rather than being helpful and understanding.

 

[Az987]

I changed my headline to Frosted flakes > Cheerios.

I'm not sure what I'm hoping to accomplish with that.

Edit: In the POF guide to sending messages it says don't send messages drunk lol. Man, fuck that. That's when I'm at my funniest!

 

[megamerican]

Is there a point where you're making a mistake by not making a move?

I had a couple of girls message me and I've been responding for a couple of weeks but haven't really set anything up or moved forward. Now I think they are both kind of fizzling. It's mainly because I've been super busy. Now I'm talking with this new one on POF and things are going well and I don't want to make the same mistake.

 

[Bleepey]

I changed my headline to Frosted flakes > Cheerios.

I'm not sure what I'm hoping to accomplish with that.

Edit: In the POF guide to sending messages it says don't send messages drunk lol. Man, fuck that. That's when I'm at my funniest!

How effective is being an arsehole. I am considering sending messages to slim girls and telling them i am a chubby chaser to see if they at least respond back.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

How effective is being an arsehole. I am considering sending messages to slim girls and telling them i am a chubby chaser to see if they at least respond back.

This is obvious and shitty negging.

Being an asshole works if you're cute about it. That's just plain PUA garbage.

 

[Pastry]

Hey GAF. Looking to get an OKC profile started soon and I have been trying to figure out what recent pictures I have to use as my main profile photo. Yay or nay?

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Looks good! You're socializing, well dressed and groomed, and most importantly smiling.

 

[Ashodin]

She wasn't too sure, and I said, "I'm sure it'll look better in motion." Now clearly that's not what I MEANT, and under normal circumstances I'd even take a jab at myself and laugh it off and laugh with others about it. Instead she gave me death glares and awkward looks so that I felt like a moron.

Dude... seriously man. She has some serious issues going on or something. I hope that she really smarts up when you give her that second chance, or I'd be out the door. I don't enjoy getting poked fun at all the time by the girl I'm seeing. I think they do it because they figure "oh well he's a man he can take it" and not actually realizing we have feelings.

I'll tell you about my story as of late in response:

Yeah the girl that I was so keen on just decided she wanted to see other guys and that we'd be friends, so that kind of petered out. At least I got to be with her and know what it was like, yeah?

I still have some of my stuff still at her place I have to go get. Damn.

Anyway, I start grinding hard again looking for someone new, and along comes this girl who has absolutely nothing in common with me.

We start talking, and messaging each other for a little bit, and she starts throwing me lines about wanting to be controlled, or taken, or whatever. I'm kind of intrigued because the whole situation has now turned into a one on one sex chat thing, so I respond in kind.

After a while, she lets me know where she lives, and tells me that I should come over, this is after we've gotten to know each other a bit on POF.

I go to her place and she actually feeds me first, like we go to taco bell, then we come back and have some fun.

After that, we continue talking for a week or two, and I'm still not sure about her at all. I mean I don't have ANYTHING in common with her, and she wants me to be some football loving jock or something. I don't get it. I tell her and ask her why doesn't she just stop talking to me if I'm not what she wants, and she can't put her finger on it but there's something about me that she wants to keep me around for.

I've been to her place numerous times but I've had to leave the majority of times. She's a terrible snorer as well, once she's asleep, I just can't sleep.

The sex is okay, I guess. Not the best, but she likes doing random things. I just don't know. And still don't know.

But today I got three new messages from three new girls, so I MUST be doing something right.

This new girl that I've been chatting all night until about an hour ago seems really chill and awesome. She has a lot in common with me and really enjoys a lot of the same games and stuff.

Now I won't go overboard like the 99% match girl on OKC, and I think I've tapped out that market for the time being, which is why I'm using POF. I just am going to take more a laid back approach to even the girls that are super close to me in interests. It's all about the chemistry when you meet, I think.

 

[Ashhong]

Seriously. I hate all of you that take not getting a response personally. It so often is something else entirely. Your assumed connection with the other person doesn't exist in a vacuum.

When the girl comes online multiple times a day and doesn't respond to you, what else can you assume?

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

When the girl comes online multiple times a day and doesn't respond to you, what else can you assume?

She's totally into some other dude. Doesn't make you any less of a dude.

 

[Ashhong]

She's totally into some other dude. Doesn't make you any less of a dude.

Oh that's what you're saying. I agree with that.

 

[Uchip]

Hey GAF. Looking to get an OKC profile started soon and I have been trying to figure out what recent pictures I have to use as my main profile photo. Yay or nay?

did the finger look delicious?

 

[Ashhong]

Not a fan of the quality of the picture Pastry, but overall it looks good

 

[Zyzyxxz]

When the girl comes online multiple times a day and doesn't respond to you, what else can you assume?

You're still awesome dude, don't give up the fight.

 

[Ashhong]

You're still awesome dude, don't give up the fight.

<3

On a side note, I wonder if the girls google my username and see my posts here...I use this name for everything lol.

Maybe I'll use a different name for POF

 

[toxicgonzo]

What the flying F? Someone copied my profile word for word and stole my picture. They sent me a message saying "You copied me!"

The heck? Who does that?!?

 

[BGBW]

What the flying F? Someone copied my profile word for word and stole my picture. They sent me a message saying "You copied me!"

The heck? Who does that?!?

Good news. It's compatible with everyone!

 

[Ashodin]

What the flying F? Someone copied my profile word for word and stole my picture. They sent me a message saying "You copied me!"

The heck? Who does that?!?

Dude, that's bizarre

 

[Az987]

This is obvious and shitty negging.

Being an asshole works if you're cute about it. That's just plain PUA garbage.

Yeah. There is a difference between being playful and being an asshole but sometimes its hard to tell the difference online lol.

Telling some they're fat is just being an asshole and I don't think he'll accomplish anything with it except maybe causing someones eating disorder to pop back up.

 

[Pastry]

Not a fan of the quality of the picture Pastry, but overall it looks good

Pretty much all the recent photos I have are cell phone pictures while out boozing with friends. No one carries a camera anymore

 

[zlatko]

Wow, this is horrible. What an asshole.

If she's implying what I assume she's implying, that's absolutely something that should have been brought to you in private and in a more supportive fashion. She shut everything down by making it into a way to create distance and antagonize you rather than being helpful and understanding.

No it was literal. I was tucking in the corner of the bed sheet, but it wasn't pulled far enough to get it under quite correctly so I had to untuck it to get enough slack to put it under.

There was a ton of other crap just like that, such as me and a few of her friends were playing a board game with drinking and the trivia question I got was who touches the football the most in a game for the players. I knew it was who snaps the ball, but for the life of me I couldn't remember it was the Center for the right name. When I couldn't think of it she outed me by saying, "my boyfriend just isn't manly enough." ... Yet I could name a hundred some things that make me "manly". Her friends kind of looked at her throughout the night during these moments like "jeez woman, lay off."

@Ashhong Yes we have done the no pants dance. A lot. That's definitely a plus in the relationship is she is horny 24/7.

To be fair, I took responsibility for my part too and apologized for not bringing it up to her in private and making myself look like a douche canoe in front of her friend.

@maxrpg/Ashodin Sounds like your lady just wants a safety guy and you are that dude. Just enjoy the bootay I suppose. Sorry 99% match girl didn't pan out, but at least you took it like a champ.

Yesterday she already did it again, and I dropped the conversation. Now I don't feel so bad for hitting on/flirting with this cute girl in my sociology class. Shitty boyfriend I am. :/

 

[Shanlei91]

36 messages out. 1 reply (Who took 5 days to respond once, and 4 days another time. Now waiting again to see if she will a third time...)

I get decent visitors though. Attractive, desirable, and about half my messages get visits. Which means either (a) the rest of my pics chase them off; (b) my height does (5'8"); or (c) my profile does.

I can't change (a) or (b), so I made some edits to my profile today. I'll see if it does anything... :-/

I WISH I was 5'8". Being 5'6" is great when every other girl lists "I like tall guys" and I know for a fact that doesn't include me. At least at 5'8" you can pretend to be tall.

Spoiler

Being short doesn't affect my ability to get a date but once I see that nonsense on a girl's profile I don't bother.

 

[Ashodin]

No it was literal. I was tucking in the corner of the bed sheet, but it wasn't pulled far enough to get it under quite correctly so I had to untuck it to get enough slack to put it under.

There was a ton of other crap just like that, such as me and a few of her friends were playing a board game with drinking and the trivia question I got was who touches the football the most in a game for the players. I knew it was who snaps the ball, but for the life of me I couldn't remember it was the Center for the right name. When I couldn't think of it she outed me by saying, "my boyfriend just isn't manly enough." ... Yet I could name a hundred some things that make me "manly". Her friends kind of looked at her throughout the night during these moments like "jeez woman, lay off."

@Ashhong Yes we have done the no pants dance. A lot. That's definitely a plus in the relationship is she is horny 24/7.

To be fair, I took responsibility for my part too and apologized for not bringing it up to her in private and making myself look like a douche canoe in front of her friend.

@maxrpg/Ashodin Sounds like your lady just wants a safety guy and you are that dude. Just enjoy the bootay I suppose. Sorry 99% match girl didn't pan out, but at least you took it like a champ.

Yesterday she already did it again, and I dropped the conversation. Now I don't feel so bad for hitting on/flirting with this cute girl in my sociology class. Shitty boyfriend I am. :/

Weird. your lady sounds like my lady. I'm glad I haven't been around friends for her to specifically poke me like that in public, but she often remarks about how I'm not "manly" enough for her and I keep trying to figure out what she wants.

It's a really weird relationship

Score, one of the cuties I talked with last night messaged me back. AWESOME

 

[tyrone888]

Zlatko, that girl is no good. If she puts you down in front of her friends then she doesn't respect you. I would be pissed If my wife ever did that to me and she'd feel the same if I ever did that to her. Move on because she isn't going to change.

 

[Az987]

zlatko have you tried being a dick right back to her? lol

 

[zlatko]

Weird. your lady sounds like my lady. I'm glad I haven't been around friends for her to specifically poke me like that in public, but she often remarks about how I'm not "manly" enough for her and I keep trying to figure out what she wants.

It's a really weird relationship

Score, one of the cuties I talked with last night messaged me back. AWESOME

This is the best situation to describe mine. I wasn't that into her at first, and I was coming around to wanting her more after dating for a few weeks, but then last weekend really derailed that and now I have my foot half way out the door. There's legit good things about her like that she's nerdy, easy to talk to when we are together, fun to cuddle with, fun sex, great eyes, etc. However, she handles stress of any kind poorly and will lash out at me if I try to be understanding and caring about it. I once tried to engage her on her crappy day and offer some light advice and it made her snap on me saying, "Don't give me advice I didn't ask for." Welp...sorry for giving a shit I guess. When she was a bit drunk last weekend she was laying in bed with me and saying, things like she's falling for me and that she's scared I won't be able to feel that way for her. Truth be told I don't know if I can. Never been in love and I even warned her before we started dating we should take it slow so this kind of crap doesn't happen. :/ She does let me know often I'm so wonderful and that she misses me since we only see each other on weekends. I just don't think I'm that into her, but I don't want to just give her up since I had been single for like 4 years or 5 before her and don't exactly want to go back to being lonely.

This weekend we have a fun time set up with bungie jumping, and dinner at a nice Japanese place which I hope can get my mind back on the track it was before last week.

Keep it up Ashodin/Max! Grind 24/7!

 

[zlatko]

zlatko have you tried being a dick right back to her? lol

She can dish it out, but she can't take it AT ALL. Not even 100% notable light teasing. I could give a few examples, but they all pan out the same way where she makes me guilt trip hard about it and have to say sorry a bunch to get her out of the bad mood it puts her in. :/

 

[Raiden]

I dont know man. I dont think you're right for each other. She needs a guy who stands up to her when she talks shit, and does not get apologetic over it.

You're not that guy, and she is not that girl you need/want.

 

[electricshake]

I WISH I was 5'8". Being 5'6" is great when every other girl lists "I like tall guys" and I know for a fact that doesn't include me. At least at 5'8" you can pretend to be tall.

Spoiler

Being short doesn't affect my ability to get a date but once I see that nonsense on a girl's profile I don't bother.

I prefer short guys (as long as they are taller than me, but, at 5'4 that's not too difficult!), it means I don't have to stand on my tiptoes to kiss them!

She can dish it out, but she can't take it AT ALL. Not even 100% notable light teasing. I could give a few examples, but they all pan out the same way where she makes me guilt trip hard about it and have to say sorry a bunch to get her out of the bad mood it puts her in. :/

Oh god I hate people like that, my sister is the same and it's a nightmare.

 

[zlatko]

I dont know man. I dont think you're right for each other. She needs a guy who stands up to her when she talks shit, and does not get apologetic over it.

You're not that guy, and she is not that girl you need/want.

She's completely convinced I am the right guy for her and the best thing that has happened to her since she has told me that on several occasions. I even brought it up that I don't think she's actually analyzing me and the relationship as a whole. During our talk that fight night is when I said this and also said I felt she was just happy with having a relationship and having the boyfriend/girlfriend roles to take on---since she was lonely for a long while. She said that is not true.

Either way it'll be after this week I'll have my mind made up on her or not. It definitely does not help that yesterday started off with me having to change subjects since it was another instance of her not thinking I knew wtf I was talking about.

 

[Perspicacity]

What the flying F? Someone copied my profile word for word and stole my picture. They sent me a message saying "You copied me!"

The heck? Who does that?!?

Just report them, OKC can probably tell who made it first.

 

[Ashodin]

I prefer short guys (as long as they are taller than me, but, at 5'4 that's not too difficult!), it means I don't have to stand on my tiptoes to kiss them!



Oh god I hate people like that, my sister is the same and it's a nightmare.

Whoa, opposite gender insight! Welcome to the thread.

She's completely convinced I am the right guy for her and the best thing that has happened to her since she has told me that on several occasions. I even brought it up that I don't think she's actually analyzing me and the relationship as a whole. During our talk that fight night is when I said this and also said I felt she was just happy with having a relationship and having the boyfriend/girlfriend roles to take on---since she was lonely for a long while. She said that is not true.

Either way it'll be after this week I'll have my mind made up on her or not. It definitely does not help that yesterday started off with me having to change subjects since it was another instance of her not thinking I knew wtf I was talking about.

"Get in there and fight!"

Seriously dude. I think she is just in it for the relationship, not the person behind it. She needs to start paying attention to your feelings as a whole, rather than what she wants you to be. It's just not right.

 

[TheKaeptain]

A woman has found this thread! RUN THEY WILL KNOW OUR SECRETS!