sleepisawesome91
Neo Member
Well, I just finished filling out my okcupid profile last night and I was wanting to get some recommendations as to what to improve. Quote to reveal.
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
thomas_mutton
Neo Member
Off the top of my head:
-I think you could find some nicer photos than the once you have up there now. They look kind of grainy/have bad lighting.
-Saying that you are hilarious is all well and good, but it's one of those things that works better when demonstrated in action. Mentioning fun more stuff you like to do will probably also help make you seem like a fun person to be around
-You should change the answer to that wherefore Romeo question (or not, just a personal pet peeve
)That's all that I can think of. Good luck and have fun
sleepisawesome91
Neo Member
Off the top of my head:
-I think you could find some nicer photos than the once you have up there now. They look kind of grainy/have bad lighting.
-Saying that you are hilarious is all well and good, but it's one of those things that works better when demonstrated in action. Mentioning fun more stuff you like to do will probably also help make you seem like a fun person to be around
-You should change the answer to that wherefore Romeo question (or not, just a personal pet peeve
That's all that I can think of. Good luck and have fun
Thanks for the feedback. My family and friends have never been the picture taking type so almost all of my pictures are selfies. I'll most likely try to take some better looking pictures tonight before work. Although, I'm a groomsmen in my cousin's wedding come March so that will hopefully alleviate the picture problem too. Also, I'll add some more details about my hobbies in there tonight too.BUT I WILL NOT CHANGE MY ANSWER TO THAT SHAKESPEARE QUESTION!
MonorailCat
Member
Have a date from Tinder in a few hours. Probably won't work out too well, because I didn't have a date in a long time. So I am pretty rusty when it comes to witty dating conversation. But hey it's a start. Now I only need something to wear ....
APZonerunner
Member
Does anybody else find decent prospects to be, for lack of a better phrase, like buses? It can be a drought for a week or two with nobody of interest to message or no interest in response, but then what seems to happen to me is that I inevitably get 3, sometimes more, great ones come across at once. Then I'm juggling and struggling to pick which to pursue properly without unfairly stringing the others along. This has happened to me a few times now, and all I can think each time is "Damn, couldn't you have all turned up evenly spaced out?!"
They're just people, man. Just behave as you would when getting to know any new acquaintance. If it gets beyond that, great. If not, oh well, at least you're more practiced now.
Indeed.
Arsenic Yellow
Member
Don't think like that! Just think of it as an experience to get to know someone new. You don't need to have witty lines planned out, just be yourself! Good luck!
Wifiplayer13
Member
So I got a message from this girl the other day on POF. She and I have been talking for a few days, and then I ask her if she wants to go out sometime. She says not this week but sometime next week. So I get her phone number and we start texting and she tells me she's reading a book about autism and that she has it. Should I be worried? I've never dated anyone before to begin with, would someone with autism be a good first date? She seems pretty cool and is attractive, but do you think her having autism would have a negative impact on anything? I'm so bad at this >.<
electricshake
Member
Why don't you meet her and find out? If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. No big deal.
Wifiplayer13
Member
Yea, I'm gonna meet her. Just super nervous since I've never done this before :c. Also, what do you guys think I should do for the first date? Is bowling a good option? Don't really wanna do the Movie/Dinner thing.
DeathoftheEndless
Crashing this plane... with no survivors!
I just pursue all of them. They usually end up ghosting after a few days anyway.
Bowling is good. It's casual, fun, gives you two a chance to talk and have a little competition - just remember to let her win! If bowling doesn't interest you, you could always try paintballing, lasertag, a trip to the zoo, a musuem or something similar. A cinema and meal is best saved for when you two are officially dating.
Well, decided to create a new okcupid profile. Met my last girlfriend on there and we were together for a few years but ultimately didn't work out. Been having a bit of luck with Tinder lately so I guess I'll see what happens on here.
Since it's been a while for me on there, I wouldn't mind some constructive criticism on my profile. Quote for the link.
Since it's been a while for me on there, I wouldn't mind some constructive criticism on my profile. Quote for the link.
Wifiplayer13
Member
Yea I think I'm gonna do the bowling. She even said she enjoys bowling on her profile so that always helps.
MonorailCat
Member
So yeah about my date today. She stopped the date after an hour and told me I am funny but not attractive to her. On the plus side: she was honest and paid for her half.
So to recap my last months: no reply on ok cupid after 50+ messages, laughable amount of tinder matches which often don't even reply and even in real life I am told I am not attractive. So the objective evidence is quite clear: I am not attractive enough to date women I am interested in.
Dem feels. I need some beer now.
So to recap my last months: no reply on ok cupid after 50+ messages, laughable amount of tinder matches which often don't even reply and even in real life I am told I am not attractive. So the objective evidence is quite clear: I am not attractive enough to date women I am interested in.
Dem feels. I need some beer now.
stn
Member
You dodged a bullet, man. Its nice that she was honest and all but it was also quite rude of her to call you unattractive to your face. There are more graceful ways to do these things, I know I've never told a girl she wasn't attractive when I wasn't physically into her. As I said, you dodged a bullet with her because she clearly lacks social skills.
If you like, feel free to post a pic or PM me. I can suggest styles, clothing, and so forth.
MonorailCat
Member
I don't think she wanted to be rude. After she said it she tried to take it back and sugarcoat it as "missing chemistry" ... but in essence it's the same. And I am not even mad. I am self aware enough to know that I look average in general. But as MAN to a woman, I am just not attractive. I lack all manly facial features. No beard, no jawline. Being a bit cute to some girls worked while I was younger, but now that I am nearing 30 it seems that I just can't really compete anymore.
I'll dial down my online efforts until summer, try to lose some weight in the meantime and hope I lose some fat in the facial area, get a better wardrobe and then make some better pictures for the summer season.
Here are some random images of me: http://imgur.com/a/EbPrT
Anyone feel free to give some input on why I seem to repel women nowadays. I am already reading up on fashion the last weeks, and I don't think that was the problem this time. Wore a grey Henley over a white dress shirt, brown girdle with brown sneakers and a navy chino. Black watch as an accessoire. Wasn't perfect, but probably not a deal breaker.
stn
Member
I don't know, man. Telling someone you don't find them attractive is quite bold. She could have easily said anything else as an excuse and been on her way. Anyway, as for your look? Seriously, you look fine. Get the idea that you "repel" women out of your head. I was going to suggest style tips but you seem to dress fine. All I can suggest is maybe try a new haircut? Women pay tons of attention to hair. Get it cut shorter and experiment with some product, or go for the comb-over look which is quite popular.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Had a date for tonight at 8 but she rescheduled for tomorrow since she is working late.
At least this time they mentioned something sooner than an hour before.
I agree with this. I don't think it's really nice to say something like that to someone you don't really know. She could have easily just made an excuse to leave or whatever that doesn't sound like an insult.
At least this time they mentioned something sooner than an hour before.
I agree with this. I don't think it's really nice to say something like that to someone you don't really know. She could have easily just made an excuse to leave or whatever that doesn't sound like an insult.
You're definitely not unattractive. I'd consider you on the border of cute and hot. If you continue to work out and get slim, your facial features will slim out and you'll get that jaw. Some people just hold more fat in their face (me) and so we have to cut down for it to come out.
It's honestly really just a numbers game when it comes to online dating. With Tinder you have to be near pitch perfect on your first impression to get a match, and then quick and witty in conversation and lock down the number and take it offline. As with all online dating sites, but especially with Tinder, women can afford to be selective, though if you match, you're already past hurdle #1.
So I don't think you repel women. I think sometimes it just doesn't work out (re: most recent date) and not being on top of your game (Tinder).
I've had this happen a few times. I don't think it's Tinder messing up. I think my match sent me a message, then unmatched some time before I actually checked her message.
For example, last friday: Matched, got a message at like 1am (was asleep), checked message in the morning and it and my match were gone. I assume she messaged to hook up, then deleted me after I didn't respond, or after someone else did. I've also had this happen after sending an inappropriate message, presumably being told off before getting unmatched. Except you can't read it once unmatched.
MonorailCat
Member
thanks. Yeah I agree it's a numbers game. It's just frustrating to be in a downswing where everything seems to go wrong, which leads to self-doubt which leads to even less success. It's a bit of a downward spiral.
yeah, a good haircut was definitely lacking today. Didn't have time to have it cut recently. Thats something I need to get right next time.
And I think I am not really that mad about her telling me she finds me unattractive, because at the end of the date I didn't even know if I wanted to meet her again ...
They are spambots that get banned by Tinder.
BrightEyedPanic
Member
I'm back on Okcupid now. Sort of. I was never good at dating no matter the medium. I can't say I'm not having luck though as I've met/ and hung out with a charismatic, (really) attractive man my age ( a little bit older which is plus.) I guess we'll see how it goes. Hopefully I don't blow it or act like a jackass.
I'm sure he'll take it as a successful date if you do
BrightEyedPanic
Member
Well we hung out once already and he wasn't turned away by me making faces at the pinball machine as I lost every single time, so there's hope. We've tentatively planned to hang out this weekend.
First day back on okcupid after a few years and already talking to 3 girls, guess I didn't do too bad but I still wouldn't mind some feedback on my profile since I've been out of the dating game for a while. Every little bit helps I suppose since this is seeming to take a bit more effort than Tinder. I think one gaffer looked at it since it was a dude lol. Quote for the link.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
I wonder why I have much better results on OkCupid and Tinder than POF.
You're good at building IKEA furniture? I've seen multiple people say that. Put at least two more things down. Besides that, I really like your profile. Just answer some more questions.
You remind me of Edward Snowden. You're a good looking dude!
You're good at building IKEA furniture? I've seen multiple people say that. Put at least two more things down. Besides that, I really like your profile. Just answer some more questions.
Haha, I've never got that before. And yeah it was the only thing I could think of real quick to fill it in since I moved not that long ago and had to build a bunch of that shit.
Yah that's the thing I hate about most girls on dating sites.
Hmm, another Pittsburgher...and since we're 89% compatible, I think that makes you competition...
It is weird how often I see "Putting together ikea furniture" in people's profiles. It's not that hard people. Just follow the pictures.
As I'm sure you've noticed, Pittsburgh has quite the food scene now. Perhaps play up your "trying new foods" angle, or mention a favorite new restaurant in your "Favorite Foods" area.
I'll always recommend anyone who loves the outdoors to have a pic of them in the outdoors.
haha yeah that's pretty crazy. Is it really that common? guess I'll just take it out then. Good point about the picture, I'll have to pull some off my camera, didn't even think about it. Good suggestions, thanks man.
What? You're attractive. Seem to have good style, too. Maybe there's a different style of hair that's more to the ladies taste but I wouldn't know - I buzz all of my hair off because I never could figure it out.
You're also a good looking dude. I have an ex girlfriend up in Pittsburgh ... I'd set you up but last I heard she started dating someone she met on Tinder.
megamerican
Member
I think you're well above average man. I think it's pretty fucked up she said that to you. I would never say something like that, and I've met up with girls that looked nothing like their profile pics.
Drop some bodyfat % and you will see more definition in your face, it can make all the difference in the world.
electricshake
Member
Arsenic Yellow
Member
I was dating a guy for a month and a half, dates lasting over 24 hours, sleep overs, seeing him 2-3 times a week. Just dumped me out of nowhere saying the same thing. "No chemistry". I'm at least average so don't thing it's something to do with the way you look. You look great!
EverythingShiny
Member
You're a good looking dude! I tend to gravitate more toward guys with a fully fleshed-out profile, but that's just my personal preference. You've definitely got enough in your profile to give women a sense of your personality. Good luck!
Not sure why you're not getting more replies, as you're definitely attractive and you've got style. Sorry that happened to you. Maybe it comes down to confidence and the vibe you're projecting? Like you mentioned, try focusing on yourself for a while.
If it's any consolation, I went on one date last week that I thought went well. Afterward, the guy sent me a message on OKC that he thought I was awesome but that we were missing romantic chemistry. Haven't heard from him since then. Such is life.
You're a good looking dude! I tend to gravitate more toward guys with a fully fleshed-out profile, but that's just my personal preference. You've definitely got enough in your profile to give women a sense of your personality. Good luck!
Thanks, I appreciate it. It can definitely be a bit daunting going through this process again after being in a long term relationship. But I'm also a bit excited to see what happens and to meet some new people. I met my previous girlfriend on OKC, so I'm fairly optimistic.
Troubled Bat
Member
Is it the lapdancer?
stn
Member
A dude from a different country, who's apparently only into women, checked out my profile. His pics are of a regular dude and his profile has been filled out and seems normal. Why is he looking at another straight dude halfway across the globe?
...Why are people online so fucking weird sometimes?
...Why are people online so fucking weird sometimes?
No, although she did say she thinks I'm 'hot' and really liked my Tinder profile. She's even said if we go on a date and it goes well, she'll give me a private dance. She's made it clear that it's no sex until the third date but, honestly, I can't really see it going anywhere. A girlfriend who does lapdancing as a profession? My anxiety would go into overdrive!
Maybe it was a gaffer checking your profile?
Troubled Bat
Member
At least get that Private Dance, man! That seems to be the goal for you that she set out. it could be the best thing ever.
Maybe. I mean, there's no commitment or owt, the dance is free, and who knows? It could lead to another date and one step closer to tapping that.
DeathoftheEndless
Crashing this plane... with no survivors!
I was talking to a girl on OKC who seemed really cool; into nerdy stuff like comics and games. But then I looked at some of the questions she answered and realized it wouldn't work. Bah, whatever. New girls await.
Tabasco
Member
I have been talking to this girl I met online and I want to feel attached to her, but right now we are just having small talk.
I met her not too long ago and I already feel a bond. We talk to each other like we're friends, but I want to bring it to the next level.
She lives in my area, so how can I take advantage of this? Anyone have advice?
I met her not too long ago and I already feel a bond. We talk to each other like we're friends, but I want to bring it to the next level.
She lives in my area, so how can I take advantage of this? Anyone have advice?
BIGWORM
Member
Tell her how you feel?
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
I'm feeling pretty down about dating. I think I'm going to quit trying until I become more successful in life.
sleepisawesome91
Neo Member
That's where I'm at too. Had my first date last week and even though I thought it went well, I didn't get a second date out of it. Tinder has completely dried up for me and I've had no success with okcupid so far(barely anyone views my profile even). So I'm just going to focus on school right now instead and if something falls in my lap then so be it. What really sucks is, I've always felt like my weight has been what has holding me back but after losing 50 pounds and getting to 200 pounds I still feel like I haven't gotten anywhere.