War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
It's crap. Nobody talks on it in my experience.
Guys can you 'rate'/help with my profile, please, it has all dried up for me.
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/friendlydinosaur?cf=profile_similar
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
It's crap. Nobody talks on it in my experience.
Guys can you 'rate'/help with my profile, please, it has all dried up for me.
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/friendlydinosaur?cf=profile_similar
Immediately? I can't be the only person who talks to the people I actually connect with on OKC (or Tinder if that's your site) on the regular, can I?
Arsenic Yellow
Member
We immediately texted each other after the date. We arranged the second date for this Saturday before the first ended and actually texted each other to arrange an extra date Friday. That may be too early for some people though.
MonorailCat
Member
"The text after" doesn't really matter in my experience. The date itself is the deciding factor in getting another date.
So just write when you feel like it.
------
In other news. I made a new pic and finally got my first message from a woman on okcupid! ......... It was a bot.
Good times.
I'd say keep in touch. If I have an interesting datem usually I'd be texting with the girl during the commute back home.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Well, a girl just told me I reminded me of her ex. I guess we're not meeting up again.
It's not so bad though. Doesn't this mean a guy like me can end up dating a girl like her?
It's not so bad though. Doesn't this mean a guy like me can end up dating a girl like her?
beat
Member
Well, sure, but that would not be very different from my experience with the other apps!
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
not if he gets to them first!
User 479360
Banned
I've been talking to a couple of other girls, but one conversation has stalled and the other hasn't replied much. So I don't know if they'll go anywhere.
Still talking to the one quite regularly, though.
Still talking to the one quite regularly, though.
Red_taiyaki
Member
I use a somewhat similar approach since I'm an anime/J-everything nerd. I mention that I do press work at pop culture cons and that I'm a fan of certain game composers and what have you. I leave it up to the girl to decipher what that means for herself.
That said, I've managed to get a good majority (60-65%) of my messages at least a firsr reply now a days. From there I kind of try to figure out if a girl is worth the time replying to or not. ESP since it takes so much damn time sometimes to write a proper message...
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Currently have 4 matches on cmb all of a sudden.
1 didnt even reply to my message after 4 days, 2nd isn't asking me anything and is giving me one word answers. The other 2 are fresh so there hasn't been a chance for them to reply.
1 didnt even reply to my message after 4 days, 2nd isn't asking me anything and is giving me one word answers. The other 2 are fresh so there hasn't been a chance for them to reply.
Big Papa Husker
Member
Is there anyway to clear or reset all matches on CMB to start over from scratch?
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Outside of signing in with a different Facebook, I don't think so.
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
I must have missed this before. Made me laugh.
If you click on the Browse Matches tab, hide anybody that's ugly and it will start to show you better looking people. When I started hiding ugly people, people with incompatible personalities and shemales it started showing me fewer of those groups and more people that I'm actually interested in. You have to use all the tools they give you to get the best results.
User 479360
Banned
Man, I suck at talking to girls. I hardly go out and am a geeky hermit, so we likely don't share similar interests and I never know what to say.
Can you talk to guys? 'Cause if you can talk to guys, you can talk to girls. If you can't do either, being employed at most places helps with this. Nothing like the threat of termination to force you to talk to people outside your comfort zone.
Speaking as someone who lived as a geeky hermit for a good 7 years or so (seriously, my first date ever was last October), you learn quickly. Just about any two people have a lot of topics to talk about, simply by being two people who have lived life.
Everyone has grown up. Ask about that. Vacations, childhood nicknames, brother and sister antics, childhood pets, did they move as a kid, favorite memories, halloween costumes.
They've gone to school. They have more nicknames, a favorite teacher, field trips, extracurricular activities, probably a first car, favorite lunch box. If they went to college, they had interesting classes, interesting teachers, annoying roommates, tales about being away from family for the first time, terrible attempts at cooking...
And then they're likely mid-20's adults hooked into the internet (why else would they be on online dating sites?). They have netflix queues longer than a grad student's dissertation, a fondness for travel, they might tweet or blog or instagram, they might be members of an online community...
And we still haven't brought up the entirety of pop culture....or news...or science...
If all else fails, just ask them something random....What's their spirit animal...Favorite non-alcoholic drink...what conspiracy or myth do they know is false but they kinda wish was true...
This guy gets it.
I can talk to people, and at times it's fine. Other times it feels like I'm boring them because they'll only appear interested when talking about themselves.
That said, I have my own question: you know that anxious feeling that you get when you text someone and they don't text back or their answers are short while yours are more thought out (I'm speaking in general, not just in a dating scenario). What's the best way to not let it bother you so you don't end up trying to text again like you're looking for their approval for no reason?
TerminalDogma
Member
Hey guys, I've been out of the dating game for awhile now. Since I've started working full time and finished up school, I find its kind of hard for me to meet anyone, so I decided to try out OKcupid. Just made my profile on Sunday. Think you guys could look it over and give me some pointers? It would be greatly appreciated!
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/PatG_26?cf=profile
I think the Tv/Movie/Food/Books part is a little too long, but I'm not quite sure how to shorten it without just going boring old list mode.
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/PatG_26?cf=profile
I think the Tv/Movie/Food/Books part is a little too long, but I'm not quite sure how to shorten it without just going boring old list mode.
Just list a few things. I love reading but I wouldn't read that all. Save something for your conversations.
Arsenic Yellow
Member
Doesn't seem too long to me, as I usually just read the sections I'm interested in: What you're doing with your life, movies, and books. If you really want to delete something, get rid of Food (unless you're a huge foodie) and podcasts. Otherwise everything looks good to go!
Copying this from the Dating OT as I wan't ya'lls opinion too:
Second date tomorrow. Originally we had our second date planned on Saturday, but on my way home from the first date, I texted him saying I'd want to see him sooner, which he agreed to. Anyways, I suggested we go to my place and pregame/make dinner together (cause out last date we probably spent close to $200, he was ordering straight scotch and we probably had 7-8 drinks each), then we'd go to a jazz bar. I've come down with a cold and said if I don't feel better by tomorrow, maybe we should stay at my place and watch movies. He was fine with that, but the problem is, we were really into each other, like, last time when he leaned into a kiss, the sexual chemistry was so intense, and it wasn't a sexual kiss, just a normal one, but if was clear we didn't want it to stop (we kept coming back in for more of them until the uber driver made me feel awkward).
Anyways, I already am super into this guy, he likes horror, is a high functioning alcoholic, likes the same music as me, seriously into ping pong, a writer/graphic designer, and gets unlimited free hard cider. The problem is, we have this extreme physical chemistry and I''m a pretty sexual person, but I don't want to rush into things. How do I tell him I want to wait until exclusivity to sleep with him? How do you find the right time that isn't when you're making out or have your hands in his pants? I get easily swept away and know I won't think of things until we are in bed or at least on 2nd based to stop and tell him I can't sleep with him. I feel like maybe that pressured the last guy?
This guy is way cooler by the way, I feel so much less stress and I don't think I've ever dated someone who's so expressive. It's so incredibly exciting! Hes the first guy Iv'e gone out on date with and was positive he was into me (normally I just have a hunch, even though its always right). After our first date, he texted me: Not to freak you out, but this was one of the best nights II've had in as long as I can recall. <3<3<3 Made my heart melt. Super into this guy and just don't want to fuck things up by sleeping with him too early.
Edit: Ya'll I just logged into an alternate account to check on another gaffer's account and critique it so it wouldn't show up on mine as if I was on the site. Anyways, out of curiosity I checked his account and he deleted his okcupid account! I'm super excited! That has to be a good sign right?!!!
Arsenic Yellow
Member
Dont use the bw pic as your profile picture. Use the second one.
EverythingShiny
Member
I'm single for the first time in nearly 3 years so I'm rusty at online dating and could use some advice. I had a really great first date with a guy I met on OkCupid Wednesday night (good conversation, he walked me to my car and kissed me goodnight, etc.) I haven't heard from him much since then but we've both been busy. Should I take the initiative for a second date, or should I wait to hear from him? I can never figure out if guys like it when women take the initiative or if they prefer being the pursuer.
Arsenic Yellow
Member
I tend to take initiative, but I naturally like to make plans early as I have things and events To go to almost every night and need to schedule in things. Guys haven't seemed to mind.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Well, I don't have much to offer other than maybe just saying that you'd like to take it slow or whatever at the beginning of the night of you end up watching a movie.
I don't know how much impulse control you'd really have while drinking.
EverythingShiny
Member
Cool. In the past I've tended to be a little too intense so I've been trying to strike that fine line between taking the right amount of initiative and being overbearing. I mentioned doing something this weekend as we were saying goodnight so I could bring that up again.
Arsenic Yellow
Member
Haha well take my advice with a grain of salt. I'm an intense scorpio type A personality. See what guys here say. Have you guys talked at all since Wednesday?
EverythingShiny
Member
Hey, it seems to be working for you so far!
Not really. He texted me yesterday morning and I responded back, but nothing since then. I'm actually not too worried about it as I'm not looking to get back into a relationship anytime soon. Just curious what the guys think.
Another meet up tonight with another girl and it's pretty damn cold today in the East Coast! Not looking forward to it but at least we'll be indoors hitting up a museum and possibly a bar afterwards depending on how it goes.
This girl sounds great through text as we've been texting practically every day; it feels like she's super interested in me as a person, not just in terms of my profession/career goals (although things have been looking up for me on that end in the past few days). But then again, I'll keep my expectations in check a bit.
It turns out she has a twin that lives in Austin, TX. If there's chemistry and I'm feeling her, then we can always snuggle up and hold hands as we walk through the streets in that winter chill.
For now, I'm about to head out to the gym. Expect a post-meet up thoughts much later on in the night both here and in the Dating-Age thread.
This girl sounds great through text as we've been texting practically every day; it feels like she's super interested in me as a person, not just in terms of my profession/career goals (although things have been looking up for me on that end in the past few days). But then again, I'll keep my expectations in check a bit.
It turns out she has a twin that lives in Austin, TX. If there's chemistry and I'm feeling her, then we can always snuggle up and hold hands as we walk through the streets in that winter chill.
For now, I'm about to head out to the gym. Expect a post-meet up thoughts much later on in the night both here and in the Dating-Age thread.
User 479360
Banned
Thanks, sir. I'll try to use these tips.
I've been doing better than expected so far, and have asked some of these questions.
I can talk to guys pretty well, by the way, but am only really able to do so well with the ones I know. I have social anxiety.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
If you're worried about rushing into things don't have a date at your place. Do something where you can talk first.
EverythingShiny: you could text him and ask him what he's up to this weekend.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
2 of the 4 matches decided not to engage in any conversation
1 wasn't asking me any questions back at all so I stopped talking to her.
Last one I might actually be able to meet up with. Hopefully she doesn't get "sick" like the last one. Planning out a day to meet now.
1 wasn't asking me any questions back at all so I stopped talking to her.
Last one I might actually be able to meet up with. Hopefully she doesn't get "sick" like the last one. Planning out a day to meet now.
User 479360
Banned
I sent messages of, "Hi, how are you?" to three matches who didn't respond.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Ask something a little more engaging from their profile and they might respond to that more.
Arsenic Yellow
Member
I wouldn't respond either. You have to make your message a little more personal. Did you look at their profile? What did it talk about? What does she like? I was getting a tone of messages a day and the only ones I even bothered looking at were ones that clearly took interest in what I had written down.
User 479360
Banned
You're right. I just never know what to say at the start of a conversation.
I shy away from talking to women.
EverythingShiny
Member
I texted him earlier. We'll see.
Which, by the way, here's my profile for critiquing. Things have slowed down a bit in the past day or so, but I know that's relatively normal since I'm not a new user anymore.
Which, by the way, here's my profile for critiquing. Things have slowed down a bit in the past day or so, but I know that's relatively normal since I'm not a new user anymore.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Its good. I give you an A+
Why's that?
SlickShoesRUCrazy
Member
are there any legit geek/nerd type dating sites?
I've decided to back out of okc and dating in general. A friend helped me realize that I need to find myself at least as attractive as the people I'm attracted to. I know what I want and I'd rather bring myself to that level and have those people reciprocate the interest than see them as permanently out of reach. There are too many people on there that have the things that I like - looks, confidence, intelligence, etc. - that I don't currently have but know I'm capable of having. I'll come back when I know I'm ready.
I should follow you in this regard...
Troubled Bat
Member
I'm just going to give up on OKC. :c
I got back on after a good while, and I see this girls profile. She's so fuckin' cute.. She also has really short hair and bring 5'4" herself with my 5'11" self.
I liked her, and it turns out she liked me before. I message her yesterday, and I got a response this morning. I haven't had the time to reply, so when I go to respond to the message. She deleted/disabled her account.
This is the third time..
I got back on after a good while, and I see this girls profile. She's so fuckin' cute.. She also has really short hair and bring 5'4" herself with my 5'11" self.
I liked her, and it turns out she liked me before. I message her yesterday, and I got a response this morning. I haven't had the time to reply, so when I go to respond to the message. She deleted/disabled her account.
This is the third time..
Just left it the girl since she took her bus so I'm in Grand Central recharging and processing it all. Didn't kiss either because she had tea on one hand and I didn't I think it felt right in that moment. I think it went pretty damn well. She talked a lot about herself which was great because I felt like a had an earnest conversation. I had questions, she answered, I listened. She told me I was the first guy she was meeting off of Tinder but I ignored it this time around as opposed to putting value on it as I did with another girl I'd gone out with a couple of months ago.
Didn't talk that much about myself this time around and there were no awkward topics or probing about what I'm doing with my life. In general, it didn't feel tense as it did with the couple of girls I went out with. She was basically as she sounded like through text but she hinted at me before we met that she prefers talking on the phone so I'll keep that in mind. Will text her before I leave the area or after I get home.
My only concern is since she has a lot going for herself and has a different schedule every week that it might make things a bit difficult to meet. Plus she's going to Nashville with her mom next month. But ass the old adage goes, if a person is interested, they'll make time for you.
Overall, it was a much better date over the disrespect/awkward mess that Tuesday's date. There's definitely chemistry there and even if it doesn't lead anywhere romantically, I think she'd make a great friend.
Didn't talk that much about myself this time around and there were no awkward topics or probing about what I'm doing with my life. In general, it didn't feel tense as it did with the couple of girls I went out with. She was basically as she sounded like through text but she hinted at me before we met that she prefers talking on the phone so I'll keep that in mind. Will text her before I leave the area or after I get home.
My only concern is since she has a lot going for herself and has a different schedule every week that it might make things a bit difficult to meet. Plus she's going to Nashville with her mom next month. But ass the old adage goes, if a person is interested, they'll make time for you.
Overall, it was a much better date over the disrespect/awkward mess that Tuesday's date. There's definitely chemistry there and even if it doesn't lead anywhere romantically, I think she'd make a great friend.
MetalGuardian
Banned
I'm at my wit's end with online dating shenanigans. I thought I knew what I was doing, as I had moderate success in my hometown... but ever since moving to a big city I have been zero for literally over 300. It's incredibly frustrating... I think my profile is funny and represents me accurately, and I put individual effort into every single message I write (read: that's 300 wasted attempts that I could have spent my time on much better elsewhere).
I have no idea what the deal is - I think my profile and messages are BETTER than when I was having some success back in my hometown. Is the competition that much fiercer in a large city? My reasoning before moving here was "Perfect! There will be a ton more candidates with a larger likelihood of sharing my specific interests!"
I think taking an extended hiatus is the only logical thing to do here - seven months of failure despite the effort I've been putting in is maddening. Though OKC is my ONLY dating avenue right now. Time to make content with another few years of the single life, I guess.
I have no idea what the deal is - I think my profile and messages are BETTER than when I was having some success back in my hometown. Is the competition that much fiercer in a large city? My reasoning before moving here was "Perfect! There will be a ton more candidates with a larger likelihood of sharing my specific interests!"
I think taking an extended hiatus is the only logical thing to do here - seven months of failure despite the effort I've been putting in is maddening. Though OKC is my ONLY dating avenue right now. Time to make content with another few years of the single life, I guess.