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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
Yeah man, things started taking a turn for the better me after Tuesday in my personal/career life. I'm gonna be doing graphic design work for a start up and complete creative control to do whatever I want/add professional work stuff to my portfolio and I'm gonna be a published writer in a week's time as I'll be writing articles for a start up news website. Both things are thanks to a good friend of mines from college who put in a good word for me. Plus I'm hitting the gym more than a day this week and getting back into a drawing rhythm. Life is good.
User 479360
Banned
What happened to a nice message of "Hi, how are you?" anyways? Dating is weird.
Also, is b/w bad? I've heard it is, but never cared as much as I maybe should've. I really like my picture, even though it's seven years old. I still look pretty much the same and have hardly any pictures of myself in recent years. Especially ones I like.
Also, is b/w bad? I've heard it is, but never cared as much as I maybe should've. I really like my picture, even though it's seven years old. I still look pretty much the same and have hardly any pictures of myself in recent years. Especially ones I like.
Getting the same message from 50 other guys the same day happened.
User 479360
Banned
Hopefully not, but maybe.
I'm going to have a hard time standing out if so, lol
Anyways, I'll stop bitching and see how things go.
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
I've come to the conclusion that with a larger population comes more flakes and not more daters. I think there are a lot of women that are probably lonely and want to feel like they're making an effort to meet and date people, but truthfully have little or no motivation to actually do either of those things. If you can put some pictures up on a website, at least you can tell yourself you tried, even if that's not true.
'Cause I'm basically in the same boat, I've only had a few conversations with women on this site, and never met anyone. I've tried different tactics on my profile, being funny, being super honest, trying to show the fun things I do. I never send generic messages, but I've gotten minimal attention.
electricshake
Member
It's a terrible conversation starter. It makes it look like you have nothing to say. Unless of course you have other stuff in your message.
Boom. Ask a question about something in their profile. Tell a joke. Break the ice right away.
This, however, does confuse me. I assume you're interested because you keep replying, but why aren't you making any effort to meet me half way?
MonorailCat
Member
wow, 300 messages. I just recently gave up okcupid after about 50 messages without any reply, even though most of them were individually crafted to their profile. Don't know what is wrong with that site, because I am average looking and intelligent .. so at least 1 person out of 50 should have showed a minimal amount of interest.
You could give Tinder a try. I don't get many matches there, but the ones I do get at least usually answer and sometimes even message first. And the app is pretty low maintenance, so you don't feel lika having a part time job.
I had something going but I decided to wait until I am at least as good looking as you. Stop making me worry!
I'm just going to give up on OKC. :c
I got back on after a good while, and I see this girls profile. She's so fuckin' cute.. She also has really short hair and bring 5'4" herself with my 5'11" self.
I liked her, and it turns out she liked me before. I message her yesterday, and I got a response this morning. I haven't had the time to reply, so when I go to respond to the message. She deleted/disabled her account.
This is the third time..
What the fuck? Bad luck or...?
MonorailCat
Member
yeah about that .. looking like me is definitely not a goal anybody who wants to do online dating should aspire to . 1200+ Tinder swipes and about 15 matches says it all
I'm considering giving up on OKCupid and Plenty Of Fish. I might give up and delete Tinder, too. This past week has been horrible in terms of, well, everything. Most of the girls I've spoken to this past week have been vile. I've been on these sites for over a year now, and I've not had any luck. I just feel like deleting them all and becoming a complete social recluse.
In what sense?
Their profiles and the way they percieve themselves are completely different to how they actually are once I started talking to them. It's like they act all sweet and shit to lure you or bait you, then they're complete assholes once they have you hooked. A number of girls 'liked' me, and I liked what I saw and 'liked' them back, but when I started to make conversation with them, they just couldn't be bothered. Or the one's who did take the time to reply were so different how their profile made them out to be.
Troubled Bat
Member
I honestly don't even know anymore. :/
electricshake
Member
What about the girl(s?) you were seeing the other week? That not work out?
That's happened to me a couple of times, three in a row does seem unlucky though
I think I'm going to disable my OKC profile for awhile. I have decent success getting initial responses but either I lose interest in the conversation, or the girl does.
Or people like Arsenic don't respond to my lovely, polite inquiries
Also had a date two weeks ago that seemed to go well, and apparently I blew it when I asked if we could hangout again on a Thursday instead of earlier in the week (she said she was fine with Tuesday/Wednesday.) Whatever.
Nah, started off fine but then we had to factor in a few things to the equation. We sat down, talked it through, and realised we weren't going to work.
Arsenic Yellow
Member
That's happened to me a couple of times, three in a row does seem unlucky though
I think I'm going to disable my OKC profile for awhile. I have decent success getting initial responses but either I lose interest in the conversation, or the girl does.Or people like Arsenic don't respond to my lovely, polite inquiries
Also had a date two weeks ago that seemed to go well, and apparently I blew it when I asked if we could hangout again on a Thursday instead of earlier in the week (she said she was fine with Tuesday/Wednesday.) Whatever.
Haha! I would've but I've disabled my profile after seeing the guy I had a first date with deleted his. He ended up spending the night. Very different from the type of guy I'm normally into (a little heavier that I typically go for), but I find myself very attracted to him. He's very calm and cool but at the same time expressive. We had planned to go see the shining today, but I had to go to a thesis workshop so we separated with the idea that we'd reconvene later. Problems arose when we both woke up feeling incredibly sick. He suggested we see it tomorrow morning and we could still do something tonight. Really enjoying him, his calmness really relaxes me and he actually enjoyed my anxiousness and intensity.
but if things dont work out, I certainly wouldn't mind going out for coffee sometime atf
hydragonwarrior
Member
I am absolutely terrible at coming up with something to write for my Tinder profile - halp.
Like, for the successful peeps out there getting matches frequently, how did you brainstorm your profile and then choose the correct words to say?
Thanks to everyone!
Like, for the successful peeps out there getting matches frequently, how did you brainstorm your profile and then choose the correct words to say?
Thanks to everyone!
This email is such BS. I've only had 2 replies (that went nowhere) from all the (personalized with a hint of humor) messages I've sent so far. Yes, girls have been independently messaging and liking me, but they haven't generally been the ones I'm interested in. THOSE ones just flat out ignore me.
EverythingShiny
Member
That's happened to me a couple of times, three in a row does seem unlucky though
I think I'm going to disable my OKC profile for awhile. I have decent success getting initial responses but either I lose interest in the conversation, or the girl does.Or people like Arsenic don't respond to my lovely, polite inquiries
Also had a date two weeks ago that seemed to go well, and apparently I blew it when I asked if we could hangout again on a Thursday instead of earlier in the week (she said she was fine with Tuesday/Wednesday.) Whatever.
I'm probably going to disable mine for similar reasons. I'm terrible at responding to messages and I feel bad because some cool dudes have sent me ones but I haven't wanted to respond back. Not really fair to them.
Plus, the one date I had earlier this week has apparently led to nothing. I'm just not ready for this shit.
MonorailCat
Member
Now double or triple your frustration and you know how many of the people feel who didn't get that mail. They are ignored by the women they are interested in AND by the women they are not really interested in. So not even a little ego boost.
--
But on a happy note: Got 1 or 2 Tinder-Dates next week.
Tinder >>>>> okcupid
At least for me in my region (Berlin)
thomas_mutton
Neo Member
Thanks for the tips.
-After more than 680 "likes" that would be just utterly useless of a metric. I guess people maybe just like everyone they match with, because that way you get a notification if said person likes you back without having to pay. (I assume that's how it works). I turned off visitors as well, because the notifications are really distracting and there is way too much noise.
-I no longer have any ambition of replying to everyone (that did not last long). It still makes me a bit frustrated when I end up having to ignore decent looking guys, who obviously have taken the time to look at my profile, but I just don't have that much time available. It kind of feels like I am drowning in noise at the moment. People you reply to respond back relatively fast, but then you also continually get messages from new people as well, so you can see the little pinging icon show up while you are trying to type.
I guess I understand why there are so many "flakey" girls on there now, can't say I blame them. But I have been able to have some nice chats about literature, games, science and delicious pies, and seems like I might have a date set up for next week, so hopfulle it will be worth the stress.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
you??? wuttttt
i assume you meant her. She isn't making any effort to meet ME halfway. not gonna waste my time.
Got a bit of a dilemma here. EDIT: I guess I don't?
Not sure how many of you saw my prior threads (1st one locked, 2nd one deleted), but my ex and I had a nasty break up which threw me into a spiral of depression. The break up happened on Nov. 20th. My ex hates me now due to shit I did/said after the break up due to my depression/grief. What made it all worse is that she ended up dating some other guy like 2 weeks after said break up and already lives with him. He was clearly the real reason for said break up. She wanted to pursue him. To put things in perspective, we were a very serious couple, totally planning on marriage, etc. To the point that her whole family was waiting on me to propose.
Fast forwards exactly 3 months; Feb. 20th. This girl I met online in 2010 whom I used to like, but kept stringing me along and had some bad habits, ends up texting me out of nowhere. Reason her & I stopped talking is because when my ex and I first got together in the summer of 2013, she knew I liked this other girl and saw how pretty she is (she really is super hot) and made me quit talking to her. I didn't mind, because I was tired of this hot girl's shit.
Anyway, she (hot girl) texts me, wondering how I'm doing, etc. We both catch up and she is understanding. I also explain to her about how I'm not naive to her games anymore. She acknowledges that she was a total cunt and was in a bad place years ago, but has grown up. Keep in mind I only met this girl once in person. She's only 2-3 hours drive away from me.
On the flip side, there is a girl I've been talking to from okcupid. We ended up exchanging numbers. However, she doesn't text me very much. I threw around the idea of hanging out in person. She seemed to think that'd be cool, but hasn't responded beyond that (been hours).
Anyway, this is the first time in a long time that I'm too distracted to torture myself with thoughts of my ex. I think I'm slowly getting over her thanks to talking to several pretty ladies, having finally sold my other car (pain in the ass it was), and a possible job prospect.
I don't really know what my question is, if I even ever had one. I just had to get this shit off my chest.
Not sure how many of you saw my prior threads (1st one locked, 2nd one deleted), but my ex and I had a nasty break up which threw me into a spiral of depression. The break up happened on Nov. 20th. My ex hates me now due to shit I did/said after the break up due to my depression/grief. What made it all worse is that she ended up dating some other guy like 2 weeks after said break up and already lives with him. He was clearly the real reason for said break up. She wanted to pursue him. To put things in perspective, we were a very serious couple, totally planning on marriage, etc. To the point that her whole family was waiting on me to propose.
Fast forwards exactly 3 months; Feb. 20th. This girl I met online in 2010 whom I used to like, but kept stringing me along and had some bad habits, ends up texting me out of nowhere. Reason her & I stopped talking is because when my ex and I first got together in the summer of 2013, she knew I liked this other girl and saw how pretty she is (she really is super hot) and made me quit talking to her. I didn't mind, because I was tired of this hot girl's shit.
Anyway, she (hot girl) texts me, wondering how I'm doing, etc. We both catch up and she is understanding. I also explain to her about how I'm not naive to her games anymore. She acknowledges that she was a total cunt and was in a bad place years ago, but has grown up. Keep in mind I only met this girl once in person. She's only 2-3 hours drive away from me.
On the flip side, there is a girl I've been talking to from okcupid. We ended up exchanging numbers. However, she doesn't text me very much. I threw around the idea of hanging out in person. She seemed to think that'd be cool, but hasn't responded beyond that (been hours).
Anyway, this is the first time in a long time that I'm too distracted to torture myself with thoughts of my ex. I think I'm slowly getting over her thanks to talking to several pretty ladies, having finally sold my other car (pain in the ass it was), and a possible job prospect.
I don't really know what my question is, if I even ever had one. I just had to get this shit off my chest.
Well, yeah. I was talking from my perspective to a hypothetical unresponsive lady.
TerminalDogma
Member
Hey guys, I've got a question. I'm about a week into using OKCupid and haven't had many responses. This one girl whom I messaged has yet to message me back, but she KEEPS looking at my profile. Should I message her again or just not worry about that?
I, too, have also felt the sting of messaging someone and then they delete their account. Weird thing was she messaged ME first, we talk for like two days, I give her my number and then she deletes her account and never contacts me. Disappointing, but what can ya do?
I, too, have also felt the sting of messaging someone and then they delete their account. Weird thing was she messaged ME first, we talk for like two days, I give her my number and then she deletes her account and never contacts me. Disappointing, but what can ya do?
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Still confusing, but I'll let it be.
When someone gives you one word responses and no questions back after 3 responses, its like having a conversation with yourself at that point. One girl I had a longer conversation with and it was infuriating because I was just saying "oh yeah me too" over and over. Unless their profile was super charming for some reason, I just won't bother after the 3rd one anymore
MonorailCat
Member
yeah, the good ol' Idiot Loop.
You: Question.
Her: Answer.
You: Response to answer + new question
Her: Answer.
You: Response to answer + new question
Her: Answer.
You: Response to answer + new question
Her: Answer.
Almost never leads to a date. So stopping after a few messages is definitely recommended.
Haha! I would've but I've disabled my profile after seeing the guy I had a first date with deleted his. He ended up spending the night. Very different from the type of guy I'm normally into (a little heavier that I typically go for), but I find myself very attracted to him. He's very calm and cool but at the same time expressive. We had planned to go see the shining today, but I had to go to a thesis workshop so we separated with the idea that we'd reconvene later. Problems arose when we both woke up feeling incredibly sick. He suggested we see it tomorrow morning and we could still do something tonight. Really enjoying him, his calmness really relaxes me and he actually enjoyed my anxiousness and intensity.
but if things dont work out, I certainly wouldn't mind going out for coffee sometime atf
Haha I'm glad it's going well! Seems rare to find someone you click with instantly
Troubled Bat
Member
Why can't there be a Date-a-Gaffer app. I bet that would be easier. Lol.
someone get on this
Because NeoGAF's membership must be at least 80% straight males.
I'm sure I could convince them to turn.
so is the userbase on most dating sites, i don't see the problem
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
Why is this exactly? Did they not give openings to conversations? Have you noticed a difference in the ones you do respond to as compared to the ones you don't? Or is it just, for lack of a better term, a lack of energy?
EverythingShiny
Member
Good questions. Right now, I'm not 100% invested in meeting guys on OkCupid since I'm waiting to see how a potential dating situation shakes out over the next week or so. But normally, I'd say the biggest thing that makes me want to respond is showing a sense of humor/sarcasm. I respond really well to slightly sarcastic messages, but I also am more willing to respond back if there are questions that mention specific interests, especially if they're common interests. I never respond to the "'sup beautiful how's your day going'" type messages.
Just as an example, I met one of my ex-boyfriends on OkCupid because we were a quickmatch. He then sent me a pretty hilarious multiple-choice quiz that was so creative I couldn't not answer, but I totally don't expect guys to do that because it takes a lot of effort and I can't even imagine how frustrating that'd be if you didn't get a response.
Pictures do factor into it as well, which sucks, because I know pictures aren't everything. :\
thomas_mutton
Neo Member
It might just be that they simply get way too many messages. I've only been on the site for a week, but during that time I have apparently so far received 300 messages, replies and first posts included. So while you may sign on with the ambition of writing thoughtful replies, and probably do want to put some effort in, there simply is not enough time to do that for every message. Even just reading all the messages takes a lot of time, since many of them are several paragraphs as well. So the end result of that I guess is a lot of chicks flat out do not reply or they do, but then end up going that profoundly unhelpful route of short answers with no questions in return.
I can see how it must be really frustrating coming from the other side though. :/
Mr Solo Dolo
Member
So errrmmm I get matched with a girl on Tinder, she messages me first, we get talking and exchange numbers, she asks me to come over for sexy time, I do a Facebook search for her (we have mutual friends), turns out she just got recently engaged.
Unmatched and number deleted.
Unmatched and number deleted.
I'm going to sound like a complete dick here, but...why? You could've had sexy time, man. I've been there, done it, it was great.
Although, technically, it did not end well for either of us...
Lone_Prodigy
Member
You could've sent her fiance (or a mutual friend) a screenshot of the conversation and her number. It's probably more trouble than it's worth though.
I'm glad to hear this, more than anything else. Engage in positive momentum and you will find yourself surrounded by it soon enough. Very happy for you, Infinity Patriot.
stn
Member
As much as I like to see a cheating asshole get hit with karma, its not worth it. Especially when he was only chatting with the girl over Tinder and doesn't know her. Like you said, more trouble than its worth.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Now Tinder on Android is deleting my matches. Get a message notification, match and message disappear.
It was hopefully a bot.
It was hopefully a bot.