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[electricshake]

Why not? What's wrong with displaying interest in someone you're interested in?

Well if it's someone I've never met, I don't know how interested in them I am until I meet them. So if you come on too strong at first then you don't like them once you've met, it's a bit awkward. In addition, playing it cool helps to stop me getting too overexcited about someone that I haven't met, because I've been disappointed in the past.

 

[User 479360]

I haven't been able to delete my Xpress account, since the email I sent to them was subject to delivery failure. They keep spamming my email, though, with private messages and offers to hook up.

The thing is that I don't have a photo on there, and all of the usernames sound so fake. Stuff like SuckmyK1ss, and other really cheesy ones that just don't sound real.

 

[stn]

Well if it's someone I've never met, I don't know how interested in them I am until I meet them. So if you come on too strong at first then you don't like them once you've met, it's a bit awkward. In addition, playing it cool helps to stop me getting too overexcited about someone that I haven't met, because I've been disappointed in the past.

In addition to all this, playing it cool also shows that you can... play it cool. Being over-eager can come off as being desperate. Basically, it helps to not be too available when you're only texting with someone before a first meet-up. If you see that a person wants to text a lot, ask them out. But don't constantly respond and constantly engage in long conversations. Especially not before a first date.

(This post wasn't aimed at you, electricshake. Merely agreed with what you wrote and added my own thoughts as sort of general advice.)

 

[ClosingADoor]

I haven't been able to delete my Xpress account, since the email I sent to them was subject to delivery failure. They keep spamming my email, though, with private messages and offers to hook up.

The thing is that I don't have a photo on there, and all of the usernames sound so fake. Stuff like SuckmyK1ss, and other really cheesy ones that just don't sound real.

All those kind of sites are bullshit. Seems like you can't delete from this (did a quick Google search). Change all your info to fakes, if possible a fake email change and remove any pictures.

If you can't delete your email add them to a filter that goes straight to the trash.

 

[Makai]

I like when people message me with excitement. Way more likely for me to respond.

 

[User 479360]

All those kind of sites are bullshit. Seems like you can't delete from this (did a quick Google search). Change all your info to fakes, if possible a fake email change and remove any pictures.

If you can't delete your email add them to a filter that goes straight to the trash.

Yeah, I can't figure out if there is a way. I didn't see any option to delete my account, but don't have any pictures or real info up there. I also used a throwaway email account.

Thanks for looking. Let me know if you do find anything out, though. I only joined it, because the dating website review site listed it as the best one and they're trustworthy according to my good friend.

 

[ClosingADoor]

Yeah, I can't figure out if there is a way. I didn't see any option to delete my account, but don't have any pictures or real info up there. I also used a throwaway email account.

Thanks for looking. Let me know if you do find anything out, though. I only joined it, because the dating website review site listed it as the best one and they're trustworthy according to my good friend.

Don't worry about it then. Just don't trust those websites, they are guaranteed to be scams that just want your money or your info to sell to spam lists.

Stick to the well known dating sites. I mean, if you think it is a scam or too good to be true, it is.

 

[User 479360]

Don't worry about it then. Just don't trust those websites, they are guaranteed to be scams that just want your money or your info to sell to spam lists.

Stick to the well known dating sites. I mean, if you think it is a scam or too good to be true, it is.

Yeah, I just wish that I could delete it. It's bugging me a bit.

 

[Makai]

https://www.okcupid.com/profile/vntony

Here's mine for reference.

You look like Mac from Sunny.

 

[Symphonia]

You look like Mac from Sunny.

Is that a good thing? I mean, I Googled who he is, and, well, yeah...

 

[User 479360]

You look like Mac from Sunny.

Is that a good thing? I mean, I Googled who he is, and, well, yeah...

You really do

I'm not saying it negatively, though.

 

[Gray Matter]

So I'm checking up on tinder (no matches like always) and I see that pink floyd girl has been active recently, after 5 days. I'm assuming she didn't get to read my message trying to ask her out due to all the messages she has gotten in her 5 day absence. Should I send another one?

 

[Jokab]

So I'm checking up on tinder (no matches like always) and I see that pink floyd girl has been active recently, after 5 days. I'm assuming she didn't get to read my message trying to ask her out due to all the messages she has gotten in her 5 day absence. Should I send another one?

It's a lost case, man.

 

[Gray Matter]

It's a lost case, man.

Don't tell me that :/

Spoiler

time to move on, right?

 

[davepoobond]

Don't tell me that :/

Spoiler

time to move on, right?

Im sure if you send her another 10 messages she will respond by unmatching you. Do whatever you want, it won't matter. You are just wasting your time at this point though.

 

[Gray Matter]

Im sure if you send her another 10 messages she will respond by unmatching you. Do whatever you want, it won't matter. You are just wasting your time at this point though.

It just sucks, the one person that actually had a good conversation with just banishes for 5 days.

 

[davepoobond]

It just sucks, the one person that actually had a good conversation with just banishes for 5 days.

Use it as a learning experience for the next one. Move faster on meeting up, realize that "having a good conversation" means nothing if they don't want to meet up, and learn to move on and stop lingering on someone if they aren't interested enough to reply.

I'm not going to say never try to do a follow up message, but after one or two messages that don't have replies, it's done.

 

[Makai]

It just sucks, the one person that actually had a good conversation with just banishes for 5 days.

Better luck next time. Don't be weird and continually message someone who doesn't want to be.

 

[Gray Matter]

Better luck next time. Don't be weird and continually message someone who doesn't want to be.

I haven't sent her another message, was just contemplating doing it.

 

[Gray Matter]

Apologies for the double post:

Just matched with someone and they sent me this,

are you new on here? i couldnt help but to notice youre not registered on tindersafer.com

Safe to assume is a bot?

 

[stn]

Yup, bot. ANY profile that asks you to sign up for a webcam or do anything outside of Tinder is a bot. Block, avoid, report.

 

[TimeEffect]

Man I dont know what pics to main and what to include. I have an okay number of photos but I dont take many. I have a bunch of selfies and mirror selfies which are totally private and too douchey to put up.

 

[Gray Matter]

Man I dont know what pics to main and what to include. I have an okay number of photos but I dont take many. I have a bunch of selfies and mirror selfies which are totally private and too douchey to put up.

GAF is always saying how a picture of you doing something active gives you better odds, so I uploaded a picture of me after doing a 20 mile bike ride, hopefully it works.

 

[TacticalFox88]

So...why do girls who "Like" you on Tinder, OkCupid, etc, halfway the time, when you "like" them back and you send a message, they don't respond AT ALL.

Like...what the fuck? What was the point of liking me if you aren't going to talk when I message you?

It's not like I'm just saying "Hey" either, these are unique and well thought out first contacts...

I don't fucking get it.

 

[Gray Matter]

So...why do girls who "Like" you on Tinder, OkCupid, etc, halfway the time, when you "like" them back and you send a message, they don't respond AT ALL.

Like...what the fuck? What was the point of liking me if you aren't going to talk when I message you?

It's not like I'm just saying "Hey" either, these are unique and well thought out first contacts...

I don't fucking get it.

It's an uphill battle for men in the online dating world.

 

[Makai]

So...why do girls who "Like" you on Tinder, OkCupid, etc, halfway the time, when you "like" them back and you send a message, they don't respond AT ALL.

Like...what the fuck? What was the point of liking me if you aren't going to talk when I message you?

It's not like I'm just saying "Hey" either, these are unique and well thought out first contacts...

I don't fucking get it.

They get a lot of messages.

 

[TacticalFox88]

They get a lot of messages.

I could understand this excuse if they didn't "like" me first implying interest, but this is straight up bullshit to the Nth degree. If thee's a mutual match and you ignore any form of communication, that's an inexcusable dick move.

 

[Makai]

I could understand this excuse if they didn't "like" me first implying interest, but this is straight up bullshit to the Nth degree

They do what you probably do: quickly flip through profiles, like the ones that look passable, and reject the rest. The difference is they get a message from almost every single person they approve (as well as from those they reject).

 

[ATF487]

Was supposed to have a date today but she said she wasn't feeling well and asked if we could meet up some other time. I texted "want to try for wednesday?" and have not got a response yet. We seemed to click through messaging/texting but we didn't speak yesterday.

Kind of bummed, but don't expect to ever meet. The flakiness of online dating kills me.

 

[davepoobond]

Was supposed to have a date today but she said she wasn't feeling well and asked if we could meet up some other time. I texted "want to try for wednesday?" and have not got a response yet. We seemed to click through messaging/texting but we didn't speak yesterday.

Kind of bummed, but don't expect to ever meet. The flakiness of online dating kills me.

At least she told you. Once, I had to find out an hour before and that was me texting her to confirm. She said she was sick also.

 

[Gray Matter]

Do you really believe they're sick?

 

[David Incorporated Esq.]

Was supposed to have a date today but she said she wasn't feeling well and asked if we could meet up some other time. I texted "want to try for wednesday?" and have not got a response yet. We seemed to click through messaging/texting but we didn't speak yesterday.

Kind of bummed, but don't expect to ever meet. The flakiness of online dating kills me.

Some other time means never. If they give you another specific time you're still okay.

 

[False Witness]

Do you really believe they're sick?

If they're actually sick, they usually let you know in advance and will continue to talk to you unless it's an extremely bad illness.

 

[Lulubop]

The struggle.

 

[Jhoan]

Thanks, here it is. Kill me fast and painless.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/enmanuel_p

As stn said, your profile is very run of the mill that it doesn't do anything for me unlike say FalseWitness' profile which ridiculously meaty/sincere but it seems to be getting him messages. To be honest, there is no right or wrong as to how long/short your profile should be as long as it's upbeat and sounds sincere. I personally would nix the gamer stuff unless you're trying to cater your profile to nerdy girls. The reason being that you're trying to cast a wide net.

Pictures are clear which is all that matters. It would definitely help if you have a variety of different pictures since I find close up shots to be boring.

Also I noticed you didn't properly capitalize tv show and band names e.g. Breaking Bad, Black Sabbath, etc. It's a nitpicking thing but people will notice it.

Lastly, I would strongly recommend you join a couple of local meet up groups in your town to try to meet new people in addition to doing online dating and meeting people in school if you're in college. I noticed that the Connecticut Convention Center is in your town so you should definitely look into seeing if there's any comic cons/gaming related cons coming up over the summer to volunteer at. Personally, I've met tons of people working at New York Comic Con, PAX East and other events relevant to my interest.

Again it's all a numbers game man so if you're only messaging one girl a day, you're doing it wrong. It should be 20-50 a day at the very least.

I figured I'd jump in the thread and ask for some help with my profile as well. A couple of female friends helped me set up a profile, but I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. Only had a few conversations with two women, and it seems like every time I find a woman who has the same interests as me they never message back.

Any tips are appreciated, just try not to run in fear at my ginger mug.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/joe-it

As a former mod on OKC (I deactivated my profile back in early February), I would strongly advise that you get rid of the car and pet picture because it will inevitably get flagged. The reason being that pictures where you're not in it is a huge no-no. As an alternative, if you still want to tout your pet and car, then have someone take a picture of you with said things.

Also, I agree with gaiages that a couple of pictures have odd filters and that your main is hard to see. I would recommend putting a clear, sharp shot of you as a main picture so people can see your ginger locks in its full glory.

 

[megamerican]

Was supposed to have a date today but she said she wasn't feeling well and asked if we could meet up some other time. I texted "want to try for wednesday?" and have not got a response yet. We seemed to click through messaging/texting but we didn't speak yesterday.

Kind of bummed, but don't expect to ever meet. The flakiness of online dating kills me.

Eh don't writer her off, but don't pursue it. I had one flake on me a couple of times, I stopped talking with her but she got in touch with me and we went out for a few months. I ended that cause she was starting to flake again. I'm sure she was meeting other people, as was I, but I would at least stick to plans we set.

 

[Symphonia]

You should really make your second picture your main picture.

Took your advice. Girl messaged me, five messages later I have her number.

 

[Zombie Lyle]

So I was bored over the weekend and decided to make an account on OKCupid. I've been talking to a few girls on it and I have a few questions.
How do you guys strike a conversation up the second time? Like you've been talking to someone one day and decide to talk to them again some other day.
How long should you be talking to someone before you ask to meet up or for their number?

 

[Symphonia]

As a general rule, I try to get a number within half hour of talking to them. Any later and it becomes a 'friendzone' situation, or she just ain't down.

 

[Jokab]

Took your advice. Girl messaged me, five messages later I have her number.

Heh, glad I could be of help. Most girls dig facial hair and you looked a bit babyfaced in the first.

 

[Gray Matter]

She responded, said she was extremely busy handling finals at school, which sounds legit. We talked for a bit (3-4 messages) and decided to plainly ask her out since she will be finished with finals this week so I didn't want to wait another week to hear back. She got back to me a few hours later, saying that she too enjoyed our conversation but isn't looking for anything more than friendship.

Even when I get a break, everything goes south.

 

[electricshake]

So...why do girls who "Like" you on Tinder, OkCupid, etc, halfway the time, when you "like" them back and you send a message, they don't respond AT ALL.

Like...what the fuck? What was the point of liking me if you aren't going to talk when I message you?

It's not like I'm just saying "Hey" either, these are unique and well thought out first contacts...

I don't fucking get it.

Someone better came along, or your message wasn't good enough.

 

[ClosingADoor]

I could understand this excuse if they didn't "like" me first implying interest, but this is straight up bullshit to the Nth degree. If thee's a mutual match and you ignore any form of communication, that's an inexcusable dick move.

Not everyone takes it seriously. Especially on Tinder. Just swipe away a bit based on one photo. Maybe after the match they saw the rest and didn't like it, maybe they are talking to someone else, maybe they just want to see how many people match them.

Best not to think about it, does you no good.

 

[User 479360]

I've sent out a lot of messages as of late, but haven't had much luck with replies. The one girl, who lives nearby and said she'd be interested in doing something after she came home from school, also hasn't replied in a week. She did start a new internship, but it conveniently occurred when I asked her if she'd like to do something when she's not busy in the near future, after we'd had good conversation beforehand for weeks.

I fear I'm running out of online options in this area.

 

[Lulubop]

Tinder was far better at getting me results at what I'm into at the moment. On OKC, the convos just die out. I'm probably not asking for that numba soon enough, but I'm really a fan of it. I have a ton of numbers of girls who I'm never gonna talk to again. I'd rather just meet up and see, but asking shows you know what you want. I'll switch it up.

 

[LastGamer84]

As a former mod on OKC (I deactivated my profile back in early February), I would strongly advise that you get rid of the car and pet picture because it will inevitably get flagged. The reason being that pictures where you're not in it is a huge no-no. As an alternative, if you still want to tout your pet and car, then have someone take a picture of you with said things.

Also, I agree with gaiages that a couple of pictures have odd filters and that your main is hard to see. I would recommend putting a clear, sharp shot of you as a main picture so people can see your ginger locks in its full glory.

Thanks for the tips! I wasn't sure what the rules were on posting pictures without myself in them. I'd seen others do it but I'll switch them out ASAP. I went ahead and delete the two weird pictures - now I just need to get one of my friends to take some better ones. I also edited my profile to not have quite as much gaming/nerd stuff at the forefront. I would really love to find a cute nerdy girl but they don't seem to be prevalent in my area.

 

[zeemumu]

I'm starting to give up on Tinder. The matches who weren't bots didn't work out.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

The time of year is important. It's early May: people have finished finals and are probably making travel plans or heading home for the summer. Give it a couple weeks for them to get settled.

I don't have statistics, but if your area is big enough you won't ever run out of new matches. Take a break for awhile and just login to keep active.

 

[zeemumu]

The time of year is important. It's early May: people have finished finals and are probably making travel plans or heading home for the summer. Give it a couple weeks for them to get settled.

I don't have statistics, but if your area is big enough you won't ever run out of new matches. Take a break for awhile and just login to keep active.

When's the best time? Early February and Fall I'm guessing?

 

[brickwalker0]

Heh, glad I could be of help. Most girls dig facial hair and you looked a bit babyfaced in the first.

any other ways of not looking baby-faced? i'm 28 and look like im 15 (not an exaggeration) and can't grow facial hair.

also, I haven't created a profile yet, asking people to take my picture is really awkward.