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[tch]

Had my first Tinder date! Went extremely well, it was a coffee date originally but at the last second we decided to go for a beer instead. Talked for an hour and a half and the conversation was pretty great. Not much of a situation for any physical contact and I realized afterwards that I didn't compliment her at all, even though she was way more attractive than her pictures (a pleasant surprise given some of the stories I've read about online dating). I kinda fucked up when she complimented my eyes I just kinda talked about them and never mentioned hers. Oh well haha.

We both mentioned seeing each other again, but she is leaving across the country for work until August.. So how should I go about keeping in contact over the summer? Do I just keep contact to a minimum, and then when it is closer to her return home ask her out?

 

[davepoobond]

Some people are just bad at online conversation. She's taking the time to respond which is already a good thing. If I were you I would be telling her my name right about now and probably asking about why she hasn't had much time to play games recently (if it's work, this is a good segue to talk about jobs).

Don't burn the bridge just because she won't meet you halfway.

I view not asking questions as not having interest. Lots of people won't hesitate to talk to someone online just because they feel bad to reject that person, or they're bored. I personally would move on if the other person isn't asking me anything or initiating any kind of conversation. Its just... boring. You're telling me you're talking to a person you've never met and you have nothing to ask that person? Lack of interest, I feel.

I usually had the same stance as most of you (no questions, no interest). But the women I'm currently dating, didn't ask questions either. We have been on four dates so far. Another woman, same thing, probably asked me one question before I asked her for her number. We are going out on a date Saturday.

I'd they aren't asking anything back, ask for the number and for a date. If they decline, move on.

well, i think you are all right at the end of the day, more or less.

in this case after i asked if she had any questions for me, she actually visited my profile -- so she doesn't have a paid account and isn't hiding her profile views.

so maybe i didn't ruin my chances particularly just by asking if she had questions for me, but i DID ask if she wanted to meet up sometime, and no response after that.

moving on now . basically what to learn from this is to regain my patience a little bit.

 

[Jzero]

Damn OKcupid, they just made it real hard to do reverse image searches.

 

[Big Papa Husker]

Damn OKcupid, they just made it real hard to do reverse image searches.

What'd they change?

 

[stn]

Damn OKcupid, they just made it real hard to do reverse image searches.

Go on page, hit the "prt scr" button on your keyboard. Go to MS Paint, select "paste". Then just crop the image and save. This should work. Its a bit more annoying but that's about it.

 

[Lulubop]

Date went well, just got home in fact. I don't think imma go out today. I think I'm just gonna chill at home and play The Witcher. The girl who I was supposed to hang with today finally responded, said some bs about only being free after 9pm now. I was like right, but she did say Saturday night could work. I guess we'll see.

 

[Valus]

Got a date tonight with a cute girl. Genuinely excited for this one which I haven't felt in awhile! Hopefully there's no surprises like the last two. Trying to keep my excitement in check because you never know with online dating, but at the same time I feel like I should just let the feeling be there since as I said, this is the first girl in awhile that I've met online that I'm pretty excited to meet. Wish me luck!

The date went well! She's very pretty, and seems to be kind/genuine. The only "concern" I guess I have at the moment is that she's religious. Church going and all that. That part doesn't bother me at all, I just don't know if she's homophobic and what not. She said that she's open minded so I hope that means she isn't. Will find out soon enough I guess.

What (not really) sucks is that I'm going on a 2-week vacation starting this weekend. She mentioned how that's a long time and wants to see me again before I go, so that's a good sign. Kind of concerned that the time away will fizz away the spark, but not much I can do about that. I'm going to try and at least kiss her before I leave. Maybe give her something cute/funny/slightly romantic to hang on to and give back to me when I return. She mentioned wanting to see pics of me back when I was anorexic...I have a small memory book thing my mom made for me full of pics of younger me. I was thinking of letting her borrow that while I'm away...what do you all think? Is that too much? What about sending her a postcard while I'm gone? Too soon?

 

[gaiages]

Ok so I asked her out and she said yes
Just trying to sort logistics out now as we live about half an hour apart and neither of us have access to cars.

*thumbs up* good luck man!

And congrats to all those that are having good dates lately

 

[Jzero]

What'd they change?

You can't right click and reverse image search users photos on Google anymore. Even the tineye chrome extension doesn't work.

Go on page, hit the "prt scr" button on your keyboard. Go to MS Paint, select "paste". Then just crop the image and save. This should work. Its a bit more annoying but that's about it.

That is way too much work considering how many fake profiles there are on the site.

 

[Dobsie]

*thumbs up* good luck man!

Thanks, we've been chatting pretty much non stop the past couple of days now, starting to worry we won't have anything to talk about come the date.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Go on page, hit the "prt scr" button on your keyboard. Go to MS Paint, select "paste". Then just crop the image and save. This should work. Its a bit more annoying but that's about it.

Snipping Tool is your friend.

Maybe try looking at the source code?

The date went well! She's very pretty, and seems to be kind/genuine. The only "concern" I guess I have at the moment is that she's religious. Church going and all that. That part doesn't bother me at all, I just don't know if she's homophobic and what not. She said that she's open minded so I hope that means she isn't. Will find out soon enough I guess.

What (not really) sucks is that I'm going on a 2-week vacation starting this weekend. She mentioned how that's a long time and wants to see me again before I go, so that's a good sign. Kind of concerned that the time away will fizz away the spark, but not much I can do about that. I'm going to try and at least kiss her before I leave. Maybe give her something cute/funny/slightly romantic to hang on to and give back to me when I return. She mentioned wanting to see pics of me back when I was anorexic...I have a small memory book thing my mom made for me full of pics of younger me. I was thinking of letting her borrow that while I'm away...what do you all think? Is that too much? What about sending her a postcard while I'm gone? Too soon?

You've only met her once. The memory book seems excessive. Maybe send her an email part-way through your trip? A postcard isn't a bad idea if it's related to something you've talked about (e.g. you're going to China and mention the Great Wall, send her a postcard with the Great Wall on the back).

 

[TxdoHawk]

Have a first date for brunch Sunday in NYC, which likely means day drinking. Pretty sure this is a terrible idea. Pray for me, brethren.

 

[Lulubop]

Have a first date for brunch Sunday in NYC, which likely means day drinking. Pretty sure this is a terrible idea. Pray for me, brethren.

Sounds like the best idea actually.

 

[AcridMeat]

A drunk Sunday in NYC sounds great actually.

 

[GK86]

Drinking early is great. Good luck!

 

[Lulubop]

Date tonight, but I honestly would just rather be playing the Witcher. I hate flaking though, and it's already to late to cancel anyway D:

 

[AcridMeat]

Date tonight, but I honestly would just rather be playing the Witcher. I hate flaking though, and it's already to late to cancel anyway D:

Even more motivation to make a great night out of it.

 

[Lulubop]

Date was super quick, though she told me she had to let a friend in her apt at 9 even before we meet up. Just sorta went over my head. Wasn't feeling it really though. Still, I'm not sure if she was. Eh, sometimes I just feel hideous.

 

[BrightEyedPanic]

So I've ventured into online dating territory again and having no luck. I met a guy I actually liked and he seemingly isn't interested. Then I met a couple....very attractive couple, but seemingly were not interested though they made tentative plans with me the following week. Since they never responded to my text the following day, I accepted defeat. I don't think I am uninteresting person, but I must not be good at going on dates.

What sort of thing do you guys do on first dates? I'm not ultra romantic or need to pull out all the stops, but obviously my AWESOME personality doesn't shine through when I meet these people for drinks.

 

[GK86]

^Lately, drinks, but I go to bars with games (board or arcade games). I have done parks and ice cream in the past. Something casual.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

So I've ventured into online dating territory again and having no luck. I met a guy I actually liked and he seemingly isn't interested. Then I met a couple....very attractive couple, but seemingly were not interested though they made tentative plans with me the following week. Since they never responded to my text the following day, I accepted defeat. I don't think I am uninteresting person, but I must not be good at going on dates.

What sort of thing do you guys do on first dates? I'm not ultra romantic or need to pull out all the stops, but obviously my AWESOME personality doesn't shine through when I meet these people for drinks.

Honestly, I meet people for drinks too. It's what I consistently advocate, because you never know how things will turn out. I think it's commonly accepted that, at least when you're meeting someone for the first time, it just makes rational sense to do it in public, involve happy hour, and have a few backup ideas for places to go afterwards if things seem to spark.

The first date isn't the place for romance anyway, and your awesome personality will shine through with the right person/people. I'm also pretty amazing, and I've had first dates that have lasted over 12 hours -- the conversation never stopped and we bounced from food to coffee to drinks, then more drinks. On the other hand, I've had ones where we just didn't click at all.

Don't abandon your approach. It's the company, not the date idea, that matters.

 

[GrizzNKev]

I have completely lost interest in this. I don't feel like I need it anymore. My life has become extremely busy and full of cool people I am dedicating my time to. I get liked by people every day and I just don't care anymore. None of them are what I want.

 

[AcridMeat]

I feel the same way, regarding not really showing through well on first dates. At least, it's unclear when I do and don't, or why. I've never had a "bad" date per se, because I'm confident in conversation and always end up talking with the girl for hours. I don't mean I'm the one talking nonstop, but instead it's active, engaged, back and forth conversation. I guess it just boils down to if they dig that and find something they're attracted to or not. I tend not to be romantic on first dates either, yet I've had the entire spectrum of results from going back to their place for fun times to getting half assed hugs at the end of the night.

Each of those end results included the same fun conversation for hours so really I don't know what to do differently haha.

 

[twinturbo2]

If anyone wants to take a look at my Okcupid profile, and give me tips on photo taking, shoot me a PM, my inbox is open.

 

[FelixOrion]

Got a date out of the blue after not using OKC for a while. And, well, it went really well for once...

...but got a text today saying she wants to focus on herself and just got out of a long relationship.

Damn it.

I really just want this to go right for me, just once in my life.

 

[Gray Matter]

I'll be in NYC this weekend, maybe I'll find someone to hook up with during my visit.

Spoiler

that was both a joke and a serious statement.

 

[Jhoan]

Have a first date for brunch Sunday in NYC, which likely means day drinking. Pretty sure this is a terrible idea. Pray for me, brethren.

I haven't seen you in forever! Forgot what you look like already but that sounds fun. Hopefully you don't blow a hole through your wallet. I'm pretty sure you'll make it back in one piece. It better be Sailor Moon that you're going out with!

I'll be in NYC this weekend, maybe I'll find someone to hook up with during my visit.

Spoiler

that was both a joke and a serious statement.

Have fun! You should go to Union Square. I was hanging out in the area last night. Lots of attractive NYU students were out and about in droves celebrating the end of the semester/graduation. Alas, I'm kinda broke this month from spending too much this month and the GAF meet up mantle has been hung up indefinitely. Fat Cat is a great place to chill at. When in doubt, Tinder away my young friend!

My two cents on the first date thing: I keep it cheap and do drinks at a bar but will occasionally mix it up with a museum or a public place if the weather is nice. However, I've found that museums are distracting as a first date if it's not an interactive one since one is focused on looking at stuff. Then again, Diaboli is right; it's the company, not the idea/activity that matters.

I've been through a ton of first dates that never went beyond the first one since girls are the usually the ones that bail from being bored. I used to try to make out but at the end but have backed off and end it with a hug. That's why it's usually make it or break it for me; first impressions are super important.

On the flip side, conversations ranged from okay to great. Worst date I've had this year was a girl showing up late, taking a phone call mid conversation, only bail 40 minutes into it. There was no chemistry at all despite the fact that she was attractive; it was one of those cases where they sounded more interesting via text than in person. A friend of mines has been using meetup.com to meet people in person as an alternative to online dating.

 

[Gray Matter]

Have fun! You should go to Union Square. I was hanging out in the area last night. Lots of attractive NYU students were out and about in droves celebrating the end of the semester/graduation. Alas, I'm kinda broke this month from spending too much this month and the GAF meet up mantle has been hung up indefinitely. Fat Cat is a great place to chill at. When in doubt, Tinder away my young friend!

That sucks. It'd be fun to attend a GAF meet up, but no worries, it'll happen eventually.

 

[TimeEffect]

Uhhh so, I'm talking to this one girl who is 19 and just finished her first year of uni

I havent really considered it before, but I'm wondering if it's creepy or weird of me. I'm 24 and graduated last year.

I originally asked her if she wanted to meet up, but she said she was going on vacation in 2 weeks and was working all week to save for this trip. She said she likes talking to me and that she'll hang out after she comes back from vacation, and told me not to worry. Not that I am, I only was texting her for half an hour.

I figured I'd get some other kind of contact info off her, so I added her on FB, as she didn't seem to want to give out snapchat or her number. She seems legit

I was looking through her FB before adding her and see she went to highschool prom last year with some really hot dude, and I'm actually unsure if she's single now, as she said on her profile she was looking for "friendly people". I assume she is though.

 

[Lulubop]

Had to flake on a date today, felt bad but I just didn't have the time. Barber also chopped my hair off like a fucking clown. Not too happy about that.

I'm beginning to lose hope in this shit anyway.

 

[ClosingADoor]

Uhhh so, I'm talking to this one girl who is 19 and just finished her first year of uni

I havent really considered it before, but I'm wondering if it's creepy or weird of me. I'm 24 and graduated last year.

It's not, but be prepared for some differences in lifestyle if you are getting in a relationship later on. Different points in life and such.

 

[Gray Matter]

Man, the pool of choices in NYC is so much better than CT, like, exponentially better.

 

[Zelias]

Hm, liked a girl on okcupid quickmatch a few days ago and messaged her. Didn't get a response but a few hours ago she visited and liked me back. Is it worth me messaging her again? Wondering how likely it was that she missed my first message.

 

[davepoobond]

Hm, liked a girl on okcupid quickmatch a few days ago and messaged her. Didn't get a response but a few hours ago she visited and liked me back. Is it worth me messaging her again? Wondering how likely it was that she missed my first message.

probably very likely, just send 1 more, if nothing happens its done

 

[Lulubop]

Finally had a date with that blond girl, I feel like it went really well but it ended pretty awkwardly. I'm kinda sad. Now. =(.

Just got home. I can text her now and ask her for another date and wait for her to say no or ingnore me forever now right?

 

[TxdoHawk]

I haven't seen you in forever! Forgot what you look like already but that sounds fun. Hopefully you don't blow a hole through your wallet. I'm pretty sure you'll make it back in one piece. It better be Sailor Moon that you're going out with!

Thanks for the kind words, man. I kept meaning to drop in on another NYC meetup but you know, life gets in the way.

I'm a little nerve-wracked about this particular date, to be honest. She's a big shot (six figure salary), knows what she wants and seems to have pretty high expectations. We have done well talking so far, but she has come straight out and told me she's still waiting to see if we actually click when we meet. I very much do not feel "on her level" so to speak. But we'll see what happens.

Just got home. I can text her now and ask her for another date and wait for her to say no or ingnore me forever now right?

There's a lot of debate on the whole "how long should I wait to follow-up?" question, but my method is usually to open with a message like "Hey, I just got home. Thanks, I really had a great time." If the dialogue that flows out of this seems positive, you can ask for another date, or she may pop the question herself. If she doesn't respond, I usually take that as a sign of non-interest and leave it alone.

 

[Jokab]

Another trick is to tell her "Message me when you get home so I know you did safely ", in a playful manner. That makes her start it. If she enjoyed herself, she will probably mention it. If not, you can at that point.

 

[AcridMeat]

Good luck Hawk. Similarly someone responded to a message on OKC from this past week who is the same way. Great job, incredibly smart, we'll see if it leads anywhere. They complimented part of my profile/had similar feelings so here's hoping.

Plus they're Australian and whew boi.

 

[Lulubop]

Well I'm of the believe that it doesn't really matter how long you wait or how you ask for a second date, if she's interested she'll reply regardless. So I sent it as soon as I got home, we were meeting in my area. She said she was meeting up with friend, as one had a sister in town. I feel like it was bailing out, but that was the longest bailout strategy. She seemed like another white girl, specifically into Hispanic dudes. This time one looking for something serious. Pretty bummed since I feel like the date went extremely well, was what I'm looking for too.

I got a shit haircut yesterday, then I shaved my facial hair and looked a hundred times worse. Sad times

 

[AcridMeat]

What exactly happened at the end which makes you think you blew it, if you don't mind?

 

[Lulubop]

Felt like she was bailing, though I guess she wasn't. I didn't make a big deal out of it, but it might have seemed a little awkward after that. That it was like a very brief just "nice meeting you, bye" after we left the place. Feeling pretty crappy and a little hung over.

 

[Zelias]

probably very likely, just send 1 more, if nothing happens its done

Yeah, just sent her another message. Keeping expectations low, naturally, but she's cute and I have nothing to lose!

 

[TxdoHawk]

Thanks for the support, y'all. I'm getting ready to leave, will let you guys know how it goes.

 

[Lulubop]

So I said I had a good time and would like to see you again, and she actually replies and said yea it was nice to meet you... D:

Like damn, what is that even? What do I say now though?

 

[AcridMeat]

So I said I had a good time and would like to see you again, and she actually replies and said yea it was nice to meet you... D:

Like damn, what is that even? What do I say now though?

That sucks man, but there's nothing left to say. Sounded like you had a few dates lined up/you already went on though so focus on them?

 

[TxdoHawk]

Another date where I get politely told "Mike, you're a really nice guy, but...." There's always a but. So it goes.

 

[Lulubop]

Went on. Hooked up with the first, she was just looking for something casual. Second was eh, I canceled the third and the forth was with her. Nothing lined up.

I've honestly never got the your a nice guy thing. Either I don't reply back, or she doesn't or it works in some capacity. That said I feel like if I send this girl another message she'll give me the nice guy line.

 

[Jokab]

Another date where I get politely told "Mike, you're a really nice guy, but...." There's always a but. So it goes.

Hey, at least you get rejected on the first date instead of the fifth/seventh, after over a month of dating.

 

[ecurbj]

Another date where I get politely told "Mike, you're a really nice guy, but...." There's always a but. So it goes.

Their loss, honestly. I mean you have to go into dating with the mindset like the other person should be proud being in your company. Not to sound narcissistic or anything but seriously. There is someone out there you will connect well with. Keep shopping. If anything it makes your experience of dating that much more better. Because your eliminating the ones that could potentially waste your time if you were to get in a relationship with them.

 

[False Witness]

Well, exes from both ends kind of ruined this one relationship I was building up. Of course, now mine isn't talking to me at all and she's getting back with hers.