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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond

Guys I met this girl on tinder who's leaving London and the country tomorrow and we arranged for me to go to her hotel room tonight. Have never done anything remotely similar to this before and I'm in dire need of tips. Not even sure I really want to go lol

Have her meet you in the lobby(bar preferable) of the hotel before you go up.

I'd be careful of going into a stranger's hotel room right away.

Feel her out & make sure there isn't any fishy shit going one.
 
If it's a scam of some sort it's definitely a well-designed one but yea I'll try to meet her down in the lobby, sounds reasonable. Can feel the awkardness already.
 

stn

Member
I'm not trying to freak you out or anything but make sure someone reliable knows where you're going. Heck, have a friend go with you incognito and just hang around to make sure its okay. I'm not thinking its one of those organ harvesting things or anything, just a possible scam to make you pay.

Also, bring your own condoms. And wear the thickest one money can buy.
 
I'm not trying to freak you out or anything but make sure someone reliable knows where you're going. Heck, have a friend go with you incognito and just hang around to make sure its okay. I'm not thinking its one of those organ harvesting things or anything, just a possible scam to make you pay.

Also, bring your own condoms. And wear the thickest one money can buy.
The way the conversation developed wouldn't really suggest it's a scam at all. Hell she's probably way more worried about this than I am. But I'll make sure a friend knows I'm going there and that he'd worry about me in case I don't get in touch. As for condoms, I only have thin intimate feel ones lol They'll have to do
 
If it's a scam of some sort it's definitely a well-designed one but yea I'll try to meet her down in the lobby, sounds reasonable. Can feel the awkardness already.

The way the conversation developed wouldn't really suggest it's a scam at all. Hell she's probably way more worried about this than I am. But I'll make sure a friend knows I'm going there and that he'd worry about me in case I don't get in touch. As for condoms, I only have thin intimate feel ones lol They'll have to do

Don't let your dick dictate against your better judgment. If you aren't at all comfortable meeting a hookup at a hotel, don't go. It doesn't matter if this hotel was 5 stars, you are still meeting a stranger in an unfamiliar setting. Be naturally cautious.

Definitely have your friend tail you and then text him/her when safety in the room.
 

AcridMeat

Banned
Hahhaha damn, I'd be totally fine meeting them in the lobby. A few minutes down there and it'd be extremely easy to tell if it's a bail out situation or not.

You guys are making it sound like he's going out with a KGB agent.

Have fun Mt.
 
Eh not gonna bother a friend with this, he knows where I'm going, hopefully he'll find me before it's too late :D

The hotel is super fancy damn. I feel like James Bond
 

dskillzhtown

keep your strippers out of my American football
Eh not gonna bother a friend with this, he knows where I'm going, hopefully he'll find me before it's too late :D

The hotel is super fancy damn. I feel like James Bond

Just go, have fun and be careful. Man, in my younger days in the times of yahoo personals I had some crazy experiences. They started with some of the same beginnings as your episode. "I am in town for a weekend, meet me xxx" or asking to come to my apartment. Hell, some girls that I met on dating sites ended up a classy version of the same thing. We meet, go for drinks and end up in bed. One of those turned into a 7 year relationship.

Wrap it up and if you are getting bad vibes, don't be scared to bail the eff out.
 
"DO YOU EXPECT ME TO TALK?"

"No, Mr. Bond... I expect you to DIE"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mx9z99YJ_7s
Haha

Eh there are worse ways to go.

And now some other hot tinder girl texts me and offers "a free yard and drugs" for tonight. No clue what's in the air tonight

Just go, have fun and be careful. Man, in my younger days in the times of yahoo personals I had some crazy experiences. They started with some of the same beginnings as your episode. "I am in town for a weekend, meet me xxx" or asking to come to my apartment. Hell, some girls that I met on dating sites ended up a classy version of the same thing. We meet, go for drinks and end up in bed. One of those turned into a 7 year relationship.

Wrap it up and if you are getting bad vibes, don't be scared to bail the eff out.
Thanks! Any negative experience you'd like to share? Just to know what to be on the lookout for.
 
D

Deleted member 47027

Unconfirmed Member
Man, Tinder either has a ton of bots on there or mine's acting weird. I'll match with people, message them and get a message back - but before I get the chance to check it (get notification while driving, check it at my destination) it's long gone. Bot that got nuked, or my shit is fucked up so I gotta shoot/stab you?
 
Man, Tinder either has a ton of bots on there or mine's acting weird. I'll match with people, message them and get a message back - but before I get the chance to check it (get notification while driving, check it at my destination) it's long gone. Bot that got nuked, or my shit is fucked up so I gotta shoot/stab you?
Think it's a bot, happens to me as well.
 

dskillzhtown

keep your strippers out of my American football
Thanks! Any negative experience you'd like to share? Just to know what to be on the lookout for.

I mean, just use your common sense. Leave credit cards in the car, just in case. But once you get there, talk to her, look in her eyes, you will be able to gauge what's up. You might start talking to her and get completely turned off or just get a bad vibe.

She may be only looking for a good time and picked you to do it with. Might turn into something serious, who knows. Every situation is different. Doing something like shady like robbing you would be really weird to do in a 5-star hotel. That kind of stuff usually happens in some seedy motel.
 
I mean, just use your common sense. Leave credit cards in the car, just in case. But once you get there, talk to her, look in her eyes, you will be able to gauge what's up. You might start talking to her and get completely turned off or just get a bad vibe.

She may be only looking for a good time and picked you to do it with. Might turn into something serious, who knows. Every situation is different. Doing something like shady like robbing you would be really weird to do in a 5-star hotel. That kind of stuff usually happens in some seedy motel.
I don't have a car, I'm just a poor student in London xD Don't have much money on my account anyways, I'm sure she would have targeted someone else if it had been for money. A room in that hotel costs more than what I have I reckon.
I'm pretty sure there's nothing shady behind it. She's going back to Hong Kong tomorrow and won't be back until next year so there isn't much chance for it to turn into something serious. Honestly I'm just kinda fascinated by the whole situation and wanna see what happens.
 

stn

Member
Whatever happens pleaseeeee report back to us with full details, lol. Sounds like the making of a good story.
 

dskillzhtown

keep your strippers out of my American football
I don't have a car, I'm just a poor student in London xD Don't have much money on my account anyways, I'm sure she would have targeted someone else if it had been for money. A room in that hotel costs more than what I have I reckon.
I'm pretty sure there's nothing shady behind it. She's going back to Hong Kong tomorrow and won't be back until next year so there isn't much chance for it to turn into something serious. Honestly I'm just kinda fascinated by the whole situation and wanna see what happens.

That's life man. Have some experiences, get some history. Live life, don't be scared of it.
 

Corran Horn

May the Schwartz be with you
You're in the bay area right? I've had a running joke with a friend about the most common phrases in profiles around here. Hiking/outdoors, running, adventures, tacos, wine, netflix, etc.
Close, in the suburbs of Sacramento.

I guess the good side is it's getting me more active than before when everyone I talk to or meet up with are active like that lol.
 

Jhoan

Member
Appreciate the advice you guys, can you give me some profile tips? It seems like people recommend being a slightly confident but also trying to add a bit of humor to it. Please feel free to rip me to shreds.

https://www.okcupid.com/profile/hux1908
Your profile is pretty damn good. You should have no problem getting plenty of "Likes" at all which is usually how I've gotten dates off OKC these days after I messaged girls that do that. I really can't stress enough how pics are everything in online dating.

A few suggestions though. As an OKC mod, I think you should nix the solo shot of your dog and retake it so that you're posing with the dog ala the cat pic since will inevitable get flagged.

I would also personally leave the Typical Friday Night section blank since most people put typical, cliche things (out with friends, Netflix, etc.) unless you put something that goes against the grain/funny.

Lastly, do fill out more survey questions and add witty/funny/sincere explanations to many of them to help you get noticed on the front page with all the Facebook style status updates on random girls profiles.

In other news, I followed with the girl I slept with a little after I'd left her place but knowing her texting habits, she responded later in the night agreeing that it fun and she'll generally be busy with work plus school starting next week said that we can sort something out. I told her to name a day/time and it's done so now it's a matter of awaiting another reply tonight.

I also set up a date with a 30 year old for next Monday evening since work has her very busy. It's just matter of keeping her interest high so that she remembers me.

And I had gotten two other girls' numbers with one of them set something up for this Saturday. Both have yet to respond but otherwise, it's smooth sailing. I don't have a reason to renew my Tinder account any time soon so I'll keep it down.

@ Mt Heart Attack, good luck man and don't post on GAF in the bathroom while in the middle of it asking for advice.
 

Lulubop

Member
Man this date went super fucking weird. She was realy into it than just sorta wasnt.
Like we went to a new bar. She got me a drink and a shot and kept her tab open.... Then just starred into space and was like ok I gotta go soon. Wut.
 
I definitely need some better pictures for my profile, but it just seems so awkward asking your friend to take a random picture of you.
free-happy-smileys-839.gif


Anyways, met up with this girl for the first time tonight. She's cute, sweet and pretty nerdy, but the date was like 100% platonic. Kind of a bummer. Some guys have success with girls who wanna do the "friends first" thing (though she didn't say this), but I've never been able to salvage that dynamic.
 

Lulubop

Member
Met up with another chick. That didn't go well. Omg. Washed up rip

Truth be told i think she was down to come over but I'm not bringing anyone back. The first date still baffles me tho
 
If you're not that physically attractive to begin with please don't put "I can burp really loudly" in your profile unless you're specifically looking for just friends lol.
 

twinturbo2

butthurt Heat fan
He doesn't mean spend hundreds and get professional shots, just to bribe a friend/family member with free food/booze to take some snaps when you're hanging out sometime.

The alternative is to use a tripod and a camera with timer or remote - remote being more preferable by far.

If you're more worried about the quality of the pics you are currently taking, here's a few tips

- Take hundreds of pics, and pic the very best one or two. You should experiment with just about everything - lighting, head angle, head rotation, different smiles, eye positioning, camera elevation - and keep going until you get results you like

- Sticking your tongue to the roof of your mouth helps reduce any double-chin stuff going on

- Get clothes that fit. This will take some time and money, but the results are worth it. You might think baggy clothes hide your physique, but they end up making you look larger in the end. Just don't go full sausage casing.

- Always consider your background. Seems obvious, but a number of firls fail here. Seriously, being able to see a toilet in your pic won't get the motor going.
Thanks for the advice. I may just get a tripod and remote for my phone and go from there.
 
Man this date went super fucking weird. She was realy into it than just sorta wasnt.
Like we went to a new bar. She got me a drink and a shot and kept her tab open.... Then just starred into space and was like ok I gotta go soon. Wut.

I mean, sounds like you were boring her bro. lol sorry I don't know how else to explain that.
 

twinturbo2

butthurt Heat fan
I'm still wondering, should I decamp for POF, delete my OKC profile, and start again? It's not like I have anything else going on OKC, and maybe there are more people over in POF.
 

Assanova

Member
I'm still wondering, should I decamp for POF, delete my OKC profile, and start again? It's not like I have anything else going on OKC, and maybe there are more people over in POF.

Out of curiosity, what does resetting a profile and starting over accomplish? I've heard of this a few times in this thread. What's the difference between resetting and simply changing the details on your profile? And yes, there are more people over at POF, although from my experience, they have been a lower quality.
 

gaiages

Banned
Out of curiosity, what does resetting a profile and starting over accomplish? I've heard of this a few times in this thread. What's the difference between resetting and simply changing the details on your profile? And yes, there are more people over at POF, although from my experience, they have been a lower quality.

I know for Tinder it resets the matches you see so that essentially you see more people again, but I don't know if it helps for OKC/POF.
 

twinturbo2

butthurt Heat fan
Out of curiosity, what does resetting a profile and starting over accomplish? I've heard of this a few times in this thread. What's the difference between resetting and simply changing the details on your profile? And yes, there are more people over at POF, although from my experience, they have been a lower quality.

I only asked because, like I mentioned, I have a POF profile that I'm just sitting on and not using for some reason, and OKC keeps showing the same people.
 
I'm still wondering, should I decamp for POF, delete my OKC profile, and start again? It's not like I have anything else going on OKC, and maybe there are more people over in POF.

Out of curiosity, what does resetting a profile and starting over accomplish? I've heard of this a few times in this thread. What's the difference between resetting and simply changing the details on your profile? And yes, there are more people over at POF, although from my experience, they have been a lower quality.
This is 100% true. POF people are constantly sending me messages but all of them aren't at all what I'd ever be looking for.

OKC my highest matches in my area aren't really what I'm looking for or are WAY out of my league. It's an issue of quality over quantity I guess.
 

gaiages

Banned
Can anyone channel Mt Heart Attack's ghost?

I was starting to get worried, but it's still early in the morning here on the East Coast, so I figured I'd wait a few more hours before calling Detective GAF on him. Might be sleeping off an awesome night ;)
 

huxley00

Member
Your profile is pretty damn good. You should have no problem getting plenty of "Likes" at all which is usually how I've gotten dates off OKC these days after I messaged girls that do that. I really can't stress enough how pics are everything in online dating.

A few suggestions though. As an OKC mod, I think you should nix the solo shot of your dog and retake it so that you're posing with the dog ala the cat pic since will inevitable get flagged.

I would also personally leave the Typical Friday Night section blank since most people put typical, cliche things (out with friends, Netflix, etc.) unless you put something that goes against the grain/funny.

Lastly, do fill out more survey questions and add witty/funny/sincere explanations to many of them to help you get noticed on the front page with all the Facebook style status updates on random girls profiles.

In other news, I followed with the girl I slept with a little after I'd left her place but knowing her texting habits, she responded later in the night agreeing that it fun and she'll generally be busy with work plus school starting next week said that we can sort something out. I told her to name a day/time and it's done so now it's a matter of awaiting another reply tonight.

I also set up a date with a 30 year old for next Monday evening since work has her very busy. It's just matter of keeping her interest high so that she remembers me.

And I had gotten two other girls' numbers with one of them set something up for this Saturday. Both have yet to respond but otherwise, it's smooth sailing. I don't have a reason to renew my Tinder account any time soon so I'll keep it down.

@ Mt Heart Attack, good luck man and don't post on GAF in the bathroom while in the middle of it asking for advice.

Ok I really appreciate the advise, thanks a lot!!!

Being 33, I'm actually having a really hard time connecting with women my age so far. It seems like any girls that are in decent shape at my age are extremely career focused, very ambitious, want a guy who is extremely driven, handsome, makes good money and is also kind and down to earth, and well traveled and very intelligent. That is a shitload of criteria for a guy to fill. I'm finding myself skewing to younger girls (24/25) range because they don't seem to have so many restrictions. Any other guys a bit older having the same type of issues?
 

gaiages

Banned
Ok I really appreciate the advise, thanks a lot!!!

Being 33, I'm actually having a really hard time connecting with women my age so far. It seems like any girls that are in decent shape at my age are extremely career focused, very ambitious, want a guy who is extremely driven, handsome, makes good money and is also kind and down to earth, and well traveled and very intelligent. That is a shitload of criteria for a guy to fill. I'm finding myself skewing to younger girls (24/25) range because they don't seem to have so many restrictions. Any other guys a bit older having the same type of issues?

Hmm, that would explain why a lotta older guys would message me xD

I know I'm not an older guy, but I can understand why women in their 30s are like that--they want a stable man that they can hopefully build a long lasting relationship with. They don't want to worry about things younger people may worry about, like financial difficulties and guys that might be leeches (because to many, if you haven't at least made significant steps to reaching your goal by 30, it makes it look like you have no drive at all). I'm 27, and at this point, I don't want to date anyone that looks like they have no ambition or don't have a job, due to both me getting older and my ex being a financial leech on me. I'm not gonna say "oh you have to make 50k a year and be awesome off in your career", because I haven't even done that myself, but as we get older most people want more stability.

Now, I'm going to assume you're slightly overreacting a bit due to lack of message backs--few women are going to ask of THAT much of you, even if they put it in their profile--but they are going to be pickier when they're older, and certain seemingly small things (do you have a car? Is that your career, or just a job? Do you have a constant paycheck?) make a big difference.

EDIT: I realize I'm being rambly, I'm sorry. Lack of sleep.
 
Hey guys! Reporting now from some darkened room. I can see the sun peeking in through the bars, slowly fading from the zenith towards the West, so I assume I must still be in Europe somewhere. So yea, the night went pretty much as expected. As soon as I entered her room, I was welcomed by the sight of mutilated organs covering the floor, also I think I saw two creepy twin girls appearing for half a second, alive then dead an instant later. Then I just felt something hitting me on my head, but fortunately I managed to swallow my iPhone 6 plus before losing consiousness. And here I am. Pls send help I guess.

No yea, everything went well! Met her directly in her room cause she said she was wearing pajamas and didn't want to be a bitch about that. We talked for a while then went into action. She was very sweet and affectionate. Only twist, it later turns out she is married. Not sure how to feel about that. Oh well. She said she was gonna miss me and maybe we'll see each other again some day.
 
Not exactly sure why I did this, but I texted the girl who's obviously been ignoring me, saying that I hope her week was going well -- got a reply back that, after 5 dates, she didn't feel a "spark" and didn't want to continue dating, but I was an incredible guy, etc. Told her I kinda already knew and wished her the best.

This is a recurring theme at this point. First and second dates go extremely well, but I can't hold anyone's interest. Frankly, I'm not upset -- just feeling jaded at wading back in to this.
 

huxley00

Member
Hmm, that would explain why a lotta older guys would message me xD

I know I'm not an older guy, but I can understand why women in their 30s are like that--they want a stable man that they can hopefully build a long lasting relationship with. They don't want to worry about things younger people may worry about, like financial difficulties and guys that might be leeches (because to many, if you haven't at least made significant steps to reaching your goal by 30, it makes it look like you have no drive at all). I'm 27, and at this point, I don't want to date anyone that looks like they have no ambition or don't have a job, due to both me getting older and my ex being a financial leech on me. I'm not gonna say "oh you have to make 50k a year and be awesome off in your career", because I haven't even done that myself, but as we get older most people want more stability.

Now, I'm going to assume you're slightly overreacting a bit due to lack of message backs--few women are going to ask of THAT much of you, even if they put it in their profile--but they are going to be pickier when they're older, and certain seemingly small things (do you have a car? Is that your career, or just a job? Do you have a constant paycheck?) make a big difference.

EDIT: I realize I'm being rambly, I'm sorry. Lack of sleep.

I completely agree, I guess its just hard to find someone who is active and into fitness that isn't also into being super ambitious about all other angles of their life (job, activities, traveling) where I'm more chill about that type of stuff (even though I do have a good job that I like). I guess I should stop complaining after being on a dating site for less than a week. I'll keep my mouth shut and just keep sending out messages : ). As someone else said, online dating be fickle as fuck.
 

jmizzal

Member
I'm trying OKcupid and Tinder now and nobody ever talks or messages back lol, I dont live in a huge city but its decent sized, OKC I see the same girls a lot, Tinder I use 100 mile radius or I cant find matches.

A couple of girls I had good starting conversations on OKC and after that they stop messaging, one disable her profile.

Tinder when I do get matches they never respond, one girl I talked to a few times and then she stopped and unmatched me.

Me, I like to chat a few times before asking a girl out on a date, am I just taking too long or what lol.

I'm the type of person that once you get to know me most people really like me as a person, but I just cant get to the stage of getting to that point since nobody tries to start things off.

any tips?
 

huxley00

Member
Not exactly sure why I did this, but I texted the girl who's obviously been ignoring me, saying that I hope her week was going well -- got a reply back that, after 5 dates, she didn't feel a "spark" and didn't want to continue dating, but I was an incredible guy, etc. Told her I kinda already knew and wished her the best.

This is a recurring theme at this point. First and second dates go extremely well, but I can't hold anyone's interest. Frankly, I'm not upset -- just feeling jaded at wading back in to this.

I read your profile, I'm a straight guy and even I would like to date you, you'll be alright!
 

stn

Member
This is a recurring theme at this point. First and second dates go extremely well, but I can't hold anyone's interest. Frankly, I'm not upset -- just feeling jaded at wading back in to this.
Just my theory. If you suddenly start getting ignored after the second date, I think its because of either a lack physical escalation, or the girl just wanted to hookup but didn't want to out-right say it. At that point she probably assumes you're looking for a real relationship, so she leaves. That's my hunch. Or, she just found another guy.
 
Just my theory. If you suddenly start getting ignored after the second date, I think its because of either a lack physical escalation, or the girl just wanted to hookup but didn't want to out-right say it. At that point she probably assumes you're looking for a real relationship, so she leaves. That's my hunch. Or, she just found another guy.

There was physical escalation. She spent the night on the third and fourth dates. There was plenty of making out on the second date too, as well as touching on the first. I just don't know. Probably found someone else: that makes more sense.
 

AcridMeat

Banned
Hey guys! Reporting now from some darkened room. I can see the sun peeking in through the bars, slowly fading from the zenith towards the West, so I assume I must still be in Europe somewhere. So yea, the night went pretty much as expected. As soon as I entered her room, I was welcomed by the sight of mutilated organs covering the floor, also I think I saw two creepy twin girls appearing for half a second, alive then dead an instant later. Then I just felt something hitting me on my head, but fortunately I managed to swallow my iPhone 6 plus before losing consiousness. And here I am. Pls send help I guess.

No yea, everything went well! Met her directly in her room cause she said she was wearing pajamas and didn't want to be a bitch about that. We talked for a while then went into action. She was very sweet and affectionate. Only twist, it later turns out she is married. Not sure how to feel about that. Oh well. She said she was gonna miss me and maybe we'll see each other again some day.
I had a hunch this would be the only twist to the story.

Enjoyed the post anyhow.
 

gaiages

Banned
I completely agree, I guess its just hard to find someone who is active and into fitness that isn't also into being super ambitious about all other angles of their life (job, activities, traveling) where I'm more chill about that type of stuff (even though I do have a good job that I like). I guess I should stop complaining after being on a dating site for less than a week. I'll keep my mouth shut and just keep sending out messages : ). As someone else said, online dating be fickle as fuck.

I didn't mean to sound hostile, if that's how it came out. But yeah, in general I find that those that care enough about fitness to go all the way (going to the gym and so on) are usually super motivated in general... it's not a surprise really, it takes serious motivation to keep fit in this day and age, and that mindset is sure to leak over to other parts of life.

But just keep at it, I'm sure you'll get some messages back :)

I'm trying OKcupid and Tinder now and nobody ever talks or messages back lol, I dont live in a huge city but its decent sized, OKC I see the same girls a lot, Tinder I use 100 mile radius or I cant find matches.

A couple of girls I had good starting conversations on OKC and after that they stop messaging, one disable her profile.

Tinder when I do get matches they never respond, one girl I talked to a few times and then she stopped and unmatched me.

Me, I like to chat a few times before asking a girl out on a date, am I just taking too long or what lol.

I'm the type of person that once you get to know me most people really like me as a person, but I just cant get to the stage of getting to that point since nobody tries to start things off.

any tips?

Oh, I'm sure your town isn't that bad, let's see--

"Jacksonville FL"

Oh you poor soul

Joking
It's probably better than Tallahassee
. It takes a while to get responses sometimes, just keep at it. Why do you have Tinder set to within 100 miles, though? Are you actually willing to travel 100 miles to meet someone if you happen to match them?

I get a mix of much older, and much younger (like younger than my youngest sister, younger) and rarely my age.

I find the young ones incredibly disturbing lol.

I got lucky with no younger guys really (I live in a college town so they have more than enough people their age), but the older ones were pretty creepy most of the time. I think all but like two were obviously the type that didn't know how to date/have a relationship/talk to anyone (woman or man), and were trying their luck with someone younger in hope of them not knowing better. Or maybe they though them having decent jobs would get them laid (tbqh I don't know if they had well paying jobs or not; I didn't look when I saw their ages). They'd also be the ones that would get maddest if I didn't reply to their messages.
 

Jokab

Member
On the age thing: I have exactly zero Tinder matches with girls older than me (I'm 22 and seraching 18-24 range) out of my 200 or so. I'd wager only five or so are my age, the rest younger. The girls I've actively dated out of these, being four, were all 19 (one was turning 20 soon). The pattern is super weird, but I guess it says something. I don't think I have any kind of bias towards swiping right on younger girls (I probably do). The pool is obviously larger for the 18-20 range though, at least in my city.
 
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