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[Advocatus Diaboli]

Another misfire of a date. I think I'm past the point of analyzing things -- it's not fruitful. She just wasn't into me from the get-go for whatever reason. In any case: I learned new stuff and had some tasty ramen. I consider that a win.

Tell me, folks, at what point does this stop being fun? If it weren't for the fact that I'm just getting older, I'd take at least a brief hiatus. I might end up doing that anyway.

Another date tomorrow... already pre-scheduled, though.

 

[A Human Becoming]

Are photos at the gym in bad taste? I wanted to take a picture showing me being active. How about as a profile picture?

 

[Mr Solo Dolo]

if you swipe nope, can the person see who swiped nope?

If you swiped nope first, you won't appear in their selection of people.

 

[Admiral Woofington]

Another misfire of a date. I think I'm past the point of analyzing things -- it's not fruitful. She just wasn't into me from the get-go for whatever reason. In any case: I learned new stuff and had some tasty ramen. I consider that a win.

Tell me, folks, at what point does this stop being fun? If it weren't for the fact that I'm just getting older, I'd take at least a brief hiatus. I might end up doing that anyway.

Another date tomorrow... already pre-scheduled, though.

Are you setting up dates with every woman you chat with or are you chatting with them and then prepare something if you sense chemistry

 

[Salamando]

Another misfire of a date. I think I'm past the point of analyzing things -- it's not fruitful. She just wasn't into me from the get-go for whatever reason. In any case: I learned new stuff and had some tasty ramen. I consider that a win.

Tell me, folks, at what point does this stop being fun? If it weren't for the fact that I'm just getting older, I'd take at least a brief hiatus. I might end up doing that anyway.

Another date tomorrow... already pre-scheduled, though.

How many first dates do you go on in a month? Seems like you're always posting about having two dates this week, or just got off one and have another scheduled with another girl. Maybe that's all working against you? Like since you know you always have another girl lined up, you're mentally comparing the girl you're with to the girl you think you'll be going out with in a few days. Which since you haven't met her yet, she's more ideal than real.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Are you setting up dates with every woman you chat with or are you chatting with them and then prepare something if you sense chemistry

It varies. With some, I'll do more of an exchange of messages. But you can't build a connection over text or sending messages; I don't see the point in prolonging that, and I'd rather just meet for a quick drink to see if there's actual chemistry.

How many first dates do you go on in a month? Seems like you're always posting about having two dates this week, or just got off one and have another scheduled with another girl. Maybe that's all working against you? Like since you know you always have another girl lined up, you're mentally comparing the girl you're with to the girl you think you'll be going out with in a few days. Which since you haven't met her yet, she's more ideal than real.

That's definitely something I don't do-- I'm not waiting for the "next one" to come along, and I don't build anything up in my head as far as putting ideals on pedestals. As far as numbers per month, maybe 5? I mentioned "five date girl" above, and I was perfectly happy pursuing things more with her in an attempt to build something; it just wasn't reciprocated. I'm just trying to find mutual chemistry.

 

[Admiral Woofington]

I can't judge, I'm only just now setting up my first coffee date.

 

[The silent protagonist]

Hello Online Dating Gaf. First time poster long time viewer. I seen you guys and gals give some critic on others profiles so could you look at mine and give any tips or advice? http://www.okcupid.com/profile/mckenzie8480?cf=profile_quickview

 

[gaiages]

Hello Online Dating Gaf. First time poster long time viewer. I seen you guys and gals give some critic on others profiles so could you look at mine and give any tips or advice? http://www.okcupid.com/profile/mckenzie8480?cf=profile_quickview

Could you provide a link that doesn't require a log-in, please?

 

[Admiral Woofington]

Hello Online Dating Gaf. First time poster long time viewer. I seen you guys and gals give some critic on others profiles so could you look at mine and give any tips or advice? http://www.okcupid.com/profile/mckenzie8480?cf=profile_quickview

main thing I can give advice to

1. The opening line quotes. I understand they're quotes but they might scare off people who aren't familiar with it and are only glancing at the profiles if you're matched up.

2. Your profile picture. You always want to make it clear who you are in that picture, and a picture of 3 guys is confusing. You can keep it in your profile but better to not be your profile pic. It's confusing.

These next three are more comments than advice:

1. You have two pictures of you in a deadmau5 outfit. One is probably enough.

2. The picture where you're praying and looking up might make ladies think you're hyper religious if they're only glancing at the pics in the profile.

3. Alcohol being the first thing in your '6 things I can't do without'. I guess it's up to you if you want to remove it, but alcohol being the first thing listed (if at all) makes me think you're always at a bar.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

One last question. If someone swipes like first, will I get a notification about it, or do I have to swipe like when I come across someone that liked me?

reason I ask is I just randomly swiped like with a lot of some, and with some of the women, I got a message saying that were a match and I can send a message.

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

Hmm, so a woman has a POF account, a religious quote it and and has the same name on a sugar daddy website. Oh and an Instagram with the same name. Hmm...

 

[GK86]

One last question. If someone swipes like first, will I get a notification about it, or do I have to swipe like when I come across someone that liked me?

reason I ask is I just randomly swiped like with a lot of some, and with some of the women, I got a message saying that were a match and I can send a message.

You won't get a notification unless you both swipe each other.

 

[huxley00]

You should have heckled her during the dating jokes.

Lesson learned today, no matter what, if a girl doesn't have several body shots, she is overweight, just how it is. I'll never understand how a woman will accept way less than she is worth by being 20% overweight.

 

[Admiral Woofington]

Yet another lady that I was the one who began conversation with that mysteriously stops responding after i suggest the date and time for a first date. I doubt I'm going too fast, I tend to chat with them for like a day and then ask them out that same night to see if they'd be interested in getting coffee (assuming we're hitting it off).

I think this is the point I realize that while I do want a serious relationship, I think I'm going too fucking fast in searching and searching for women and it's only burning me out considering that I've been single for so long and that they can't even say they've changed their minds. I'm gonna stop approaching the women and just wait for those that show interest in me first and chat with them (assuming I'm attracted physically).

 

[Salamando]

Yet another lady that I was the one who began conversation with that mysteriously stops responding after i suggest the date and time for a first date. I doubt I'm going too fast, I tend to chat with them for like a day and then ask them out that same night to see if they'd be interested in getting coffee (assuming we're hitting it off).

I think this is the point I realize that while I do want a serious relationship, I think I'm going too fucking fast in searching and searching for women and it's only burning me out considering that I've been single for so long and that they can't even say they've changed their minds. I'm gonna stop approaching the women and just wait for those that show interest in me first and chat with them (assuming I'm attracted physically).

How many messages were there between you two before you asked her out?

When you did ask her out, did you take the initiative to mention a time and place?

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Yet another lady that I was the one who began conversation with that mysteriously stops responding after i suggest the date and time for a first date. I doubt I'm going too fast, I tend to chat with them for like a day and then ask them out that same night to see if they'd be interested in getting coffee (assuming we're hitting it off).

I think this is the point I realize that while I do want a serious relationship, I think I'm going too fucking fast in searching and searching for women and it's only burning me out considering that I've been single for so long and that they can't even say they've changed their minds. I'm gonna stop approaching the women and just wait for those that show interest in me first and chat with them (assuming I'm attracted physically).

You're not going too fast in securing a first date. There's nothing wrong with approaching anyone, either. (It's just-- I know for a fact that people engaging in online dating are, as you've mentioned above, lining up several options.) Anyway, transitioning into, "Hey, want to continue this over coffee/drinks?" is expected. I can't tell you why she didn't respond; you'll never know. Just understand that it doesn't always (or even usually) happen.

I know that everyone's different. But I think it's better to ask earlier rather than later. Especially if the conversation's flowing. I mean, the only person that I'm exchanging full-length emails with is a woman with whom I identified a dealbreaker, but we decided on pursuing friendship. We'll meet up in a few weeks, maybe.

 

[Admiral Woofington]

How many messages were there between you two before you asked her out?

When you did ask her out, did you take the initiative to mention a time and place?

Quite a bit. I get to know basics of compatibility in terms of attitude and sense of humor and here and there talk about dreams. The issue is that so many of these girls specifically say they're in no rush to go out and want to chat with the guy more before going out on a date.

Reality is that maybe I'm taking too long before I ask out but I don't wanna go out and meet somebody that I wouldn't get along with and have an awkward date. And yeah I take the initiative to ask out and they always say yes, and then stop responding once we begin to make plans. I'll just take the casual approach like so many and just let interested parties come to me. At least if they're bothering to like/favorite or message me I know they are downright interested in dating me instead of maybe just playing along to see if they get interested.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Oh ffs. I met a girl, I text, and she's wondering why I'm not registered on tindersafer.com, and she's suspicious.

also, I told her I created a dummy Facebook because I don't like Facebook, but tinder requires one. I didn't use my real name for Facebook either. Could've freaked her out, and she deleted me.

if I change my name on facebook, people I know and family will try and contact me. Can I make my account secret or something, and how?

also, what's this tindersafer How do I get that worked out?

thanks

edit-it was a bot, lol. Can anyone still answer the Facebook question above?

 

[davepoobond]

if they are responding, i usually get to the point of asking them to meet within 5 messages or so. if they have any intention on meeting with you they should respond favorably. if not, you are wasting less time conversing with someone who has no intention of meeting with you.

sometimes they say "i want to get to know you first" -- that pretty much means they dont want to meet, either, but it could go into your favor depending on random requirements you have no idea about.

 

[User 479360]

One of the girls I've been talking to off and on has been replying pretty regularly as of late. We'd lost contact for a bit, but I sent her a message a little while ago and we started talking again.

I asked her what she's looking for, and she replied saying that she's looking for someone to hang out with and see what happens. I said I'm hoping to find a relationship but understand it takes time.

Her reply was that we should go out for coffee or a movie sometime. I'm going to take her up on it, but told her that we should wait a bit because I'm sick with a damned cold.

 

[Admiral Woofington]

if they are responding, i usually get to the point of asking them to meet within 5 messages or so. if they have any intention on meeting with you they should respond favorably. if not, you are wasting less time conversing with someone who has no intention of meeting with you.

sometimes they say "i want to get to know you first" -- that pretty much means they dont want to meet, either, but it could go into your favor depending on random requirements you have no idea about.

I'd consider doing that if it's a girl I'm likely to have a lot of similar interests with as we can always start with that as we're getting to know each other. But when it's a blind date or somebody that doesn't list likes?

I've been out of the dating circle for a while and rusty as fuck.

 

[dskillzhtown]

Another misfire of a date. I think I'm past the point of analyzing things -- it's not fruitful. She just wasn't into me from the get-go for whatever reason. In any case: I learned new stuff and had some tasty ramen. I consider that a win.

Tell me, folks, at what point does this stop being fun? If it weren't for the fact that I'm just getting older, I'd take at least a brief hiatus. I might end up doing that anyway.

Another date tomorrow... already pre-scheduled, though.

I absolutely hate dating. Date after date, money after money, same intro conversations, same getting to know you routines, etc. Just a waste of time after awhile. Terrible attitude to go in with I know, but meeting woman after woman gets boring and frustrating.

 

[Jokab]

Have you considered that treating dating as a game of numbers stifles real attraction? That perhaps the ladies can sense that you're (perhaps subconsciously) going through the motions for each date? I don't know the answer, just throwing the thought out there.

 

[Admiral Woofington]

Have you considered that treating dating as a game of numbers stifles real attraction? That perhaps the ladies can sense that you're (perhaps subconsciously) going through the motions for each date? I don't know the answer, just throwing the thought out there.

Yeah I'm definitely not dating for numbers. But that means that when a date doesn't come out of it or there's no more dates after the first it stings all the more.

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

It's been almost a year since I've had someone delay and seemingly play games with me like this since I've been in online dating.

A week ago Saturday I messaged this lady on POF and said we can do one better than her dating suggestion and suggested a proper coffee shop instead of lame Starbucks. She liked that so I asked for her number. The next morning, on Sunday, she messaged me and I went ahead and texted her.

She was being flirty via text so I called her on it jokingly and said "aren't I lucky." I offered for a Lunch date this past Saturday. She said that would work.
Texted her again on Tuesday to confirm the spot and she said she had lunch with a friend and would call me.

I went about my business, set up another date on Friday night (one and done) and said let's see what happens on Saturday. Nothing in the afternoon, so in case she forgot I texted her if she was still interested in meeting and we could work in the 49er game if she wants. She's a big fan, two of pictures have her in 49er gear. She said she couldn't because there was a Gala event that night at the theme park behind where they 49ers normally play. She was being wishy-washy about attending, but I assured her that she should go and not let me affect her obligations.

I told her that Wednesday wouldn't work, because I have something else to go to that night. She said maybe Monday (today) after work and dog training. I said lets aim for that.

Today I texted her around 12:20 and haven't heard back yet. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt that she's being professional and working like a good employee at her tech job.

Maybe I'll hear something later, maybe not. I'm leaning to the latter.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Tinder is netting me some damn good looking women. Only problem is, they have kids. And I'm 33.

to be honest, I'm hesitant. Part of this is a social experiment to see if I can attract decent looking women, and another part is that since I'm a broke, underemployed, and graduate four year agos, living with his mother, and no car(though I can take the car whenever I want), I don't think women would find that attractive.

 

[Admiral Woofington]

It's been almost a year since I've had someone delay and seemingly play games with me like this since I've been in online dating.

A week ago Saturday I messaged this lady on POF and said we can do one better than her dating suggestion and suggested a proper coffee shop instead of lame Starbucks. She liked that so I asked for her number. The next morning, on Sunday, she messaged me and I went ahead and texted her.

She was being flirty via text so I called her on it jokingly and said "aren't I lucky." I offered for a Lunch date this past Saturday. She said that would work.
Texted her again on Tuesday to confirm the spot and she said she had lunch with a friend and would call me.

I went about my business, set up another date on Friday night (one and done) and said let's see what happens on Saturday. Nothing in the afternoon, so in case she forgot I texted her if she was still interested in meeting and we could work in the 49er game if she wants. She's a big fan, two of pictures have her in 49er gear. She said she couldn't because there was a Gala event that night at the theme park behind where they 49ers normally play. She was being wishy-washy about attending, but I assured her that she should go and not let me affect her obligations.

I told her that Wednesday wouldn't work, because I have something else to go to that night. She said maybe Monday (today) after work and dog training. I said lets aim for that.

Today I texted her around 12:20 and haven't heard back yet. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt that she's being professional and working like a good employee at her tech job.

Maybe I'll hear something later, maybe not. I'm leaning to the latter.

Hey maybe you'll get lucky, but it seems like it isn't all that unlikely that she lost interest. I guess that's both a pro and a con of dating people online. If you lose interest in somebody you can stop messaging, but the opposite is true too and somebody you could be really into just loses interest in you.

Tinder is netting me some damn good looking women. Only problem is, they have kids. And I'm 33.

to be honest, I'm hesitant. Part of this is a social experiment to see if I can attract decent looking women, and another part is that since I'm a broke, underemployed, and graduate four year agos, living with his mother, and no car(though I can take the car whenever I want), I don't think women would find that attractive.

Women with kids at that age isn't going to be unlikely. I'm surprised I've seen as many single mothers in my age range (21-26) and most have been in the lower age end. I've already stopped myself from asking some women out because they're mothers and I'm NOWHERE near the mental maturity to become a father-figure to some kid if it gets serious enough. Not to mention I have my dog and she would have her kid, so staying the night at one or the other's place is an issue.Maybe in a year or two I'll be able to start considering it. Because the ones I didn't approach were actually pretty perfect in what I wanted in a relationship outside of the child.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

I mean, I don't mind kids. I want one myself one day, and I wouldn't mind meeting someone with kids already.

I either have to explain my situation and see if they're content with it or not bother at all until I get my get shit together.

Also, I really don't like how I have to go swipe through the same women again to find out if they swiped 'like' back at me. It would be nice if swiped a like to a girl, come back to my phone hours later, boot up 6tin, and find out I have a match already.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

On Tinder for a week. No matches. Goddamn I'm ugly.

 

[User 479360]

On Tinder for a week. No matches. Goddamn I'm ugly.

Me too. I feel your pain.

Tinder and me don't match that well. The women are out of my league.

--------

I went to a baseball game with the friend who wanted me to be FWB with her months ago, because her boyfriend lives in another country. It went well, and she did bring up sex/fetish talk a couple of times. Was also touching me quite a bit, on the leg and my back.

But I think she's just touchy/feely. She's still dating that guy.

 

[Wingfan19]

I think I've found either the greatest troll profile ever or the most insane woman ever... I can't tell. It's so long, I can't even post it. What's the rule for posting profile links?

 

[Salamando]

Few things are more frustrating than trying to carry on a conversation with someone who replies back with the bare minimum. "how was you weekend?" "Fun! Spent it outside" "Did you go hiking, or did you just lock yourself out?" "hiking, basketball, orienteering" "cool, where at? I'm heading up to X next weekend" "Y creek". Her profile was anemic as is, so I wasn't going to escalate to texting without learning something about her...

Weirdest point, I introduce myself with my first name, she just sent back "nice to meet you!" Didn't introduce herself back. That's odd, right?

I think I've found either the greatest troll profile ever or the most insane woman ever... I can't tell. It's so long, I can't even post it. What's the rule for posting profile links?

We don't let people post chat transcripts if the other person's picture is visible, so posting entire profiles/profile links is likely out as well.

 

[Lulubop]

So I had two notable dates last week. The first was with a girl from Oregon. I swear white girls from Oregon who have spent a good amount of time in Latin America and now have a thing for Hispanic men, is like a thing. Which is funny because I might be moving out to Portland with my best friend next year. Anyway, the date went really great. At least I thought it did. We had tentative plans for Sunday, but I didn't hear anything from her and still haven't. A little bummed but it's whatever.

I had another date Saturday, and she was feeling me from the get go. We had fun, wandered around Brooklyn and ended up in bed together. There's something about her that makes me extremely attracted her but I can't say what it is. Maybe it's like a chemical thing, gonna see her again on Saturday.

 

[Admiral Woofington]

I've hit a slump in OKC and POF. Shit maybe I will have to to to match.com at one point. For now I downloaded tinder and said fuck it. I have nothing to lose. It's a nice distraction.

 

[jimmypython]

On Tinder for a week. No matches. Goddamn I'm ugly.

YEP...

i have also failed in OKC and POF...

Asian guy luck i guess.......

 

[Admiral Woofington]

I'd try eharmony or match but I'm not sure if the type of girl I'm looking for is in those sites. Then again a laid back girl who prefers staying home might be anywhere.

 

[Jhoan]

So I had two notable dates last week. The first was with a girl from Oregon. I swear white girls from Oregon who have spent a good amount of time in Latin America and now have a thing for Hispanic men, is like a thing. Which is funny because I might be moving out to Portland with my best friend next year. Anyway, the date went really great. At least I thought it did. We had tentative plans for Sunday, but I didn't hear anything from her and still haven't. A little bummed but it's whatever.

I had another date Saturday, and she was feeling me from the get go. We had fun, wandered around Brooklyn and ended up in bed together. There's something about her that makes me extremely attracted her but I can't say what it is. Maybe it's like a chemical thing, gonna see her again on Saturday.

Very nice. You finally typed more than a sentence in a post so it's a miracle! If you want Portland, just move to Greenpoint since it's essentially the same thing.

Hahaha, you guys fall head over heels in love with someone on a first date. Is that really possible? Maybe I'm being overly cynical but can you blame me for saying not to go all in?

This brings me to the latest edition of Jipan's Online-Dating Rabbit Hole Report:

-The Mexican girl I had been seeing casually texted me today saying that she met someone and has been seeing the guy for the past 8 days in a row. As a result, she said that we might have to become friends but enjoyed time we spent together. I was stunned initially and took me about 20 mins to formulate a reply while I recovered from it.

I told her that I was happy that she found what she was looking for but also said that they say love is blind, then proceeded to leave her my actual number (been using a texting app to text girls while I fix my carrier service) and Twitter handle to hang out as friends only in addition to thanking her.

She implied that I contact her one of these days but I told her that I'm going to need some distance for a while before we can hang out as friends because I don't want to be a home wrecker on her budding relationship (my actual words were something along the lines I'm don't want to be THAT guy so don't worry folks). I then told told her that I'm happy to have one fan of my art (context was that she was said that she looks forward to seeing my subway sketches become famous) and that it starts with one before it multiplies. Heartbroken is definitely not what I feel because I knew it was bound to come to an end sooner or later. If anything, I feel a lot more confident coming out of it because it did help a lot.

All that being said, the rest of my updates are as follows:

-I have a date tonight with a new girl at a Starbucks across the street from the hotel lounge where I usually meet my boss. I told her that there's a jazz band playing there at 7 (not sure if it might have ended though since it's September). I told her we can chill there afterwards. Unfortunately, I developed the "con flu" fresh off having worked a convention this past weekend that I've been coughing up mucus (chest congestion) but otherwise, I'm fine. Lots of tea, water, and soup will help flush it out quicker.
-I have a second date tomorrow night with the writer assistant girl I saw last week that lives in my neighborhood. I felt like we hit it off well so I think tomorrow will fare well. We're gonna hit up a Mexican place in the area. She did mention that she's gonna be out of town for the weekend and will start packing on Thursday evening (AKA called making time for me). I'm very much looking forward to it.
-I have a date with a teacher who I've been talking to for the better half of two weeks this Saturday. Our schedule for the weekends didn't line up so we're finally going to meet up. She suggested taking the Metro North to walk around a small town outside the city early in the day since she's gonna be partying both Saturday and Sunday night. I told her that sounds like a surprisingly refreshing idea and took her up on it. She'll get back when she picks the town and time/rendezvous point to meet up at.
-Been casually messaging a few other girls on OKC on and off so that's been slowly progressing.
-Been noticing that girls have been anonymously Liking me that their pictures appear blurred out so I can't figure out how to message them. C'est la vie.
-Met a cute girl working the aforementioned con this weekend that I hit it off with her but I didn't get number so will have to post pics in the group to make myself visible (I don't add people on FB at random these days; she was a co-worker for reference). Pretty sure I could have gotten two separate Asian girls' numbers that I spoke to at random intervals since they were super interested but oh well; one of them was working at the NHK booth. Forgot the NHK booth girl's name though.=/

 

[Lulubop]

Nah I need a change from the city, I really do. The girl from Oregon did message me today, said she wasn't feeling it tho. Kinda bummed about that.

 

[Jhoan]

Don't we all my Puerto Rican friend? This lovely city has a tendency of being soul crushing at times. Heard many good things about Portland including the thriving art scene so that can totally work for me as an artist.

And like I said, that's why you leave one foot in the door, one foot out the door when it comes to approaching dates. Just because a girl says she's into Hispanic dudes, doesn't mean it's going to be a guaranteed success/fireworks. Can't stop the spirits when they need you to quote the Red Hot Chili Peppers song.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

On Tinder for a week. No matches. Goddamn I'm ugly.

Why do you always post this gif?

 

[Lulubop]

Yea, my friend went to school out there. He actually went to the same school, at the same time as this girl. He wants to move back and I kinda wanna go. I don't think I could ever leave the city for too long though. I been holding a few L's lately, and my first reaction is to blame it on the physical because when I'm not feeling someone it usually is physical attraction especially on a first date. For someone who is as self conscious as my self it really blows and makes me feel worse. I think I needa chill out for a bit.

 

[davepoobond]

Why do you always post this gif?

He must have it keybound. It's weird cause its not even the gaf-original color of that smiley

 

[Etrian Oddity]

He must have it keybound. It's weird cause its not even the gaf-original color of that smiley

I miss it and I'm too lazy to grab the blue one.

 

[Rest]

I think I've found either the greatest troll profile ever or the most insane woman ever... I can't tell. It's so long, I can't even post it. What's the rule for posting profile links?

You can quote excerpts, but nothing that might lead to a breach of someone's privacy. If you think it's edgy, put it in an email tag so that people who don't have accounts can't see it.

 

[freshair]

Also, I really don't like how I have to go swipe through the same women again to find out if they swiped 'like' back at me. It would be nice if swiped a like to a girl, come back to my phone hours later, boot up 6tin, and find out I have a match already.

This is how it should work if you come across her profiles before she does yours.

Might be a 6tin thing. It's nice hearing the Tinder notification in the middle of the night that you've gotten a match.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

I absolutely hate dating. Date after date, money after money, same intro conversations, same getting to know you routines, etc. Just a waste of time after awhile. Terrible attitude to go in with I know, but meeting woman after woman gets boring and frustrating.

So, the answer to the question is: it depends on who you're meeting. I was wary of even seeing the date I had planned for last night, but I went anyway. Maybe it was the sense of quasi-finality -- that I had nothing else lined up and that I didn't care, or maybe it was something else entirely -- but we really got comfortable. Initially, I didn't get a romantic vibe, and there was no physical escalation, but we talked about a broad range of stuff (from sexual assault victims to baseball to Pokemon) and she laughed, a lot.

I figured nothing came of it, so after I walked her to her car, gave her a hug, and went home, I texted her saying that I had a great time and wanted to do it again. She did too, and then we ended up texting for a couple more hours, til 2am, and we're going out Thursday. Even if nothing comes of it, this kind of date felt different -- as in, it was actually enjoyable, didn't feel forced, and the conversation was great for its own sake.

I've also been exchanging emails with someone else from OKC, and we're just discussing books and travel plans, as well as enjoying the fact that we're subverting online dating in a totally PG way. She wants kids and I'm pretty sure I don't, so we ID'd that dealbreaker early on, and it's nice to have a possible friend lined up. We're supposed to grab coffee soon.

Anyway, I've had it with "lining up potentials." I think I just need to do it my way, rather than the optimally efficient way, for the sake of my own sanity.

 

[huxley00]

Yeah...also, the conversation doesn't have to be forced. You can ask people whatever you want to ask them (within reason). Ask them what they spend a lot of time thinking about or what games they loved to play when they were a kid. I've only been on 3 dates so far but I never really talk about what people do for work. I just talk to them about whatever various subjects I think are interesting or safe, yet fun, personal questions.

Treat them like you want to befriend them, don't treat them like it's an interview of someone you want to get married to eventually.

Edit: The only part I hate so far is how tiring it is trying to be "on" all the time, Jesus, it's exhausting. I can tell why people take a break from this from time to time. Anyway, off to get my haircut by the stylist, we'll see how this date goes. If I don't update the post, assume I've been murdered in her house.

 

[Assanova]

I absolutely hate dating. Date after date, money after money, same intro conversations, same getting to know you routines, etc. Just a waste of time after awhile. Terrible attitude to go in with I know, but meeting woman after woman gets boring and frustrating.

Yep, me too. I was spending a ton of money on dates. Also wasn't getting any sleep because of the constant texting new girls and having a date lined up almost every day, leaving no real personal time for myself.

 

[Admiral Woofington]

Yep, me too. I was spending a ton of money on dates. Also wasn't getting any sleep because of the constant texting new girls and having a date lined up almost every day, leaving no real personal time for myself.

i can't imagine what it's like for people who are dating everybody they can. I am stressing over basically going through every match I'm getting until I find one that I might click with