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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond

Hollycat

Member
I've been trying OK Cupid for a while and I just can't seem to find anyone and I'm not having any luck irl either. I made a few ads on craigslist even, and besedes several guys who messaged me (I posted in the for women section) all I got was one crazy religious nutbag.

Are there any better options?
 

Salamando

Member
I've been trying OK Cupid for a while and I just can't seem to find anyone and I'm not having any luck irl either. I made a few ads on craigslist even, and besedes several guys who messaged me (I posted in the for women section) all I got was one crazy religious nutbag.

Are there any better options?

The other big ones are Tinder, Plenty of Fish, and Match.com. There's also eHarmony and ChristianMingle, but I don't think anyone here uses them. I tried eHarmony once, found it to be a massive waste of money.

How long have you been on OKC and how poor have your results been? No one sending/responding to messages, no likes on your profile, no visitors even?

If you want, you can post your profile and we'll offer some critiques on it. If you wrap your profile around email tags, it'll be invisible unless a member quotes it. Quote this message for an example.

 

Hollycat

Member
The other big ones are Tinder, Plenty of Fish, and Match.com. There's also eHarmony and ChristianMingle, but I don't think anyone here uses them. I tried eHarmony once, found it to be a massive waste of money.

How long have you been on OKC and how poor have your results been? No one sending/responding to messages, no likes on your profile, no visitors even?

If you want, you can post your profile and we'll offer some critiques on it. If you wrap your profile around email tags, it'll be invisible unless a member quotes it. Quote this message for an example.

very few views and not a ton of likes.
A month or two I guess.
And do any of those sites have an option for transgender? I mean I could just put it in the notes, but the last time I did that someone freaked out and accused me of lying.
 
Maybe you're right, but we've been talking for about two months now.

I second guessed myself after posting that, and it's actually been since April that we've been talking.

Yeah let me clarify. You need to establish a good connection online before meeting in person, so that part is still true. Can't put the cart before the horse. However, you can do that relatively quickly. In fact, if you take too long, that's bad and really hurts your chances.

I would say 2+ months is definitely too long so you didn't establish a good connection quickly enough. In which case, probably best to move on :/
 

Palpable

Member
I feel like I got fooled by the most elaborate bot ever. Still unsure.

Matched with this girl on tinder. None of her pictures were blurry or anything. Had a good deacription and even had a very well established instagram page connected to it. Went to the IG & everything checked out. Her & I had a brief conversation about what she does (she's a singer who does gigs at lounges/restaurants) and the answers were all clearly answering what I had asked (not bot-like fake throwaway answers). She didn't ask me anything (but complimented me on my pickup line) and said "it's getting late, feel free to text me in the morning [number]". I mean... what? That was way too easy to get her number. I didn't even ask. In fact the area code is local. I'm so confused. Should I text it in the morning?
 
I feel like I got fooled by the most elaborate bot ever. Still unsure.

Matched with this girl on tinder. None of her pictures were blurry or anything. Had a good deacription and even had a very well established instagram page connected to it. Went to the IG & everything checked out. Her & I had a brief conversation about what she does (she's a singer who does gigs at lounges/restaurants) and the answers were all clearly answering what I had asked (not bot-like fake throwaway answers). She didn't ask me anything (but complimented me on my pickup line) and said "it's getting late, feel free to text me in the morning [number]". I mean... what? That was way too easy to get her number. I didn't even ask. In fact the area code is local. I'm so confused. Should I text it in the morning?

She sounds legit.

Having an active(?) Instagram account connected seems a lot of effort for a throw away bot.
 

Palpable

Member
She sounds legit.

Having an active(?) Instagram account connected seems a lot of effort for a throw away bot.

Yeah, very active. Over 1000 posts almost 700 followers. I'm just confused as to how easy it was to get her number. Am I to assume she just likes me or that she gives out her number this easily to everyone? I feel the latter is far more plausable. She seems ultra nice & all. I'm tempted to post screenshots of the convo.
 
I feel like I got fooled by the most elaborate bot ever. Still unsure.

Matched with this girl on tinder. None of her pictures were blurry or anything. Had a good deacription and even had a very well established instagram page connected to it. Went to the IG & everything checked out. Her & I had a brief conversation about what she does (she's a singer who does gigs at lounges/restaurants) and the answers were all clearly answering what I had asked (not bot-like fake throwaway answers). She didn't ask me anything (but complimented me on my pickup line) and said "it's getting late, feel free to text me in the morning [number]". I mean... what? That was way too easy to get her number. I didn't even ask. In fact the area code is local. I'm so confused. Should I text it in the morning?

Some women are proactive and give out their numbers. I did it many times without being asked for it. I even asked guys out on dates!
 

gaiages

Banned
I feel like I got fooled by the most elaborate bot ever. Still unsure.

Matched with this girl on tinder. None of her pictures were blurry or anything. Had a good deacription and even had a very well established instagram page connected to it. Went to the IG & everything checked out. Her & I had a brief conversation about what she does (she's a singer who does gigs at lounges/restaurants) and the answers were all clearly answering what I had asked (not bot-like fake throwaway answers). She didn't ask me anything (but complimented me on my pickup line) and said "it's getting late, feel free to text me in the morning [number]". I mean... what? That was way too easy to get her number. I didn't even ask. In fact the area code is local. I'm so confused. Should I text it in the morning?

That's... not a bot. That's just a girl that give you her number.
 

Palpable

Member
Happens all the time, man. I don't understand why you view shifting a conversation to texts as "throwing her number out there," either. It's generally what people do.

I suppose that because it has only happened to me with bots, I questioned it. Literally 5 minutes and got her number. Usually takes a couple of days at the very least. But then again I never ask, which is why women probably get bored with me in the first place!
 

Rest

All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
very few views and not a ton of likes.
A month or two I guess.
And do any of those sites have an option for transgender? I mean I could just put it in the notes, but the last time I did that someone freaked out and accused me of lying.
It has options for a bunch of different stuff. There are several questions in the questionnaire though, make sure you answer them. That will help cut back on the number of people who see your profile and aren't into that.

I'm sorry if my skepticism of a woman throwing her number out there, which never fucking happens, seems like 'complaining'
I got an email address and nude pictures once within half an hour.
That's still an ongoing chucklefest for me, see my post above about trolling swingers.
I'm being such a bastard to those people and I don't know why.



Also, I keep seeing this profile with a slur in the username. I reported it but it's not gone yet. Would any of you be willing to report it as well? If you are, send me a PM.
Also, if you accept, don't harass this person, just report the profile.
 

jmizzal

Member
The girl from OKC had a great time at the football game Sunday, she never been to a pro game, so I showed here a good time.

She's super cool and checks all the boxes I like in a girl, and we are planning to go to dinner tonight.

I was talking to her since the start of Aug. it was our first time meeting.

I have trust issues with people, so I rather talk to someone for a lil while before meeting them so I can know that they really like me first, shes a sweetheart so i'm happy about her, after the POF girl pretty much dropped me after two dates since she said I didnt seem like I would fit in her future plans lol.
 
I think I need to redo my profile. This iteration has served me well (got a few dates and even a short relationship out of it) but it's outdated for how I am now (older and more cynical).

Be the change you want to be. I remember when I used to stretch the truth to make me more interesting. Now I'm trying not to reveal my entire hand at once.
 

Jokab

Member
I think I need to redo my profile. This iteration has served me well (got a few dates and even a short relationship out of it) but it's outdated for how I am now (older and more cynical).

Be the change you want to be. I remember when I used to stretch the truth to make me more interesting. Now I'm trying not to reveal my entire hand at once.

Hah, I actually made that exact change to my Tinder description. The results aren't wildly different though. I suppose the conversations are slightly different. Haven't gone on any dates since the change though.
 

Rest

All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
Shut things down with the swingers. The guy's tone changed a lot when he found out I knew his real name. I almost wish I'd emailed him at work, but that would have been cruel.
 
I brought it up to her that it's been five months since we started talking and she didn't believe me. I told her that's really long in online dating site time, so we'll see what she says.
 

Jokab

Member
I brought it up to her that it's been five months since we started talking and she didn't believe me. I told her that's really long in online dating site time, so we'll see what she says.

I'm not sure what you're hoping to gain from this approach.
 
I'm not sure what you're hoping to gain from this approach.

Agreed. It sounds as though you're trying to guilt her into a meetup.

She already said she wants to meet up soon, but doesn't want to call it a date. Apparently she needs to hang out with someone for a while to develop romantic feelings.

I was trying to remind her of how long it's been and that she has been taking it slowly for a while.

Then again, what do I know? I'm completely out of my element in the dating world and will likely be a bachelor until I'm six feet under.
 

AcridMeat

Banned
The point is, it's been 5 months of not actually meeting in person. Face to face interaction is so much different to online communication and it's a necessity to figuring out if someone is compatible, as friends or more something more.

Just ask her to hang out at a mall or grab a smoothie and go to a park or something. Again, it's about taking action, then things will become much more clear.

People say things online all the time, until you meet in person it means nothing.
 

gaiages

Banned
No, I understand. With my luck nothing will come out of it. I just think we'd be good together and am hopeful.

If you truly think that, then SIMPLY ask her to go and hang out with you, as a friendly get-together, to go to x place at x time. If she refuses, after five months, then just let her go, as you two will never meet up.

Have more damn respect for yourself, Christ.
 
If you truly think that, then SIMPLY ask her to go and hang out with you, as a friendly get-together, to go to x place at x time. If she refuses, after five months, then just let her go, as you two will never meet up.

Have more damn respect for yourself, Christ.

I think we're going to do just that.

To asking her out to do something? Just move on.

No, to the mention that it's been five months and that that's a while.
 

davepoobond

you can't put a price on sparks
To asking her out to do something? Just move on.

what a waste of time, sheesh.




anyway, i think i struck out with the 3 most recent girls who were responding. one that was actually replying has gone cold once i asked if she wanted to meet.

the other 2 just didnt respond to my 2nd message.

back to spraying messages around


No, to the mention that it's been five months and that that's a while.


so just say now "Are you free sometime this week or next week? I would like to take you on a date" -- or something to that effect.

do you even like talking to this girl? what are you trying to get out of your time investment here?
 

Rest

All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
Oh jesus, swinger guy is still trying to play mind games with me. I'm almost going to miss these people.
 

Gray Matter

Member
Got 3 matches on tinder all back to back to back. One was a bot, the other 2 look legit, but one can never be sure.

With the failures I've had, I don't feel like trying, but you can't win of you don't play, right?
 

Rest

All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
Now I'm sorry I missed the outset of this story. It's one of the most entertaining ones in this thread.

wait what


can someone link the initial story, i missed this lol
Posts on the same line are related ideas. Parenthesized posts are by people other than my self.

7002
7005
7031 + (7032 + 7033 + 7035) + 7056 + (7071)
7269
8575 + (8593) + 8606
8698
8728
8813
8833
8839 + (8840) + 8841 + 8844

There are of course details that aren't here, this has been going on for months and I haven't posted everything. And there are privacy concerns.
 

davepoobond

you can't put a price on sparks
Posts on the same line are related ideas. Parenthesized posts are by people other than my self.

7002
7005
7031 + (7032 + 7033 + 7035) + 7056 + (7071)
7269
8575 + (8593) + 8606
8698
8728
8813
8833
8839 + (8840) + 8841 + 8844

There are of course details that aren't here, this has been going on for months and I haven't posted everything. And there are privacy concerns.


ahhh ok, i remember reading them, i just wasn't making the connection of a continuing story. thanks for compiling it

her message to you was pretty funny. the whole thing is kind of nuts, like too much effort on both ends
 
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