My ex did something similar near the end of our relationship. I actually caught her in the act, but I had no way to confirm either way.
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
My ex did something similar near the end of our relationship. I actually caught her in the act, but I had no way to confirm either way.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Was she actually using it though to find someone else? Cause at least she would be using it for its intended purpose despite being in a relationship with you at the time haha
jadedm17
Member
It's all so random, don't even worry. If you care then go back and reevaluate what you said to see if maybe you're coming off different than you intended. Honestly though ive personally sent a great number of messages to a varying type of girls with everything from short and funny messages to a few longer ones and have been ignored a lot even with witty messages. Its nothing personal.
Honestly ive given up on OKC and have had better luck in real life lately but I have met some great people on OKC in the past and found my first gf of four years on Neopets so I believe in online dating, I just know it takes thick skin.
alright how can i bypass this payment shit
i just wanna see who liked my profile
dont have more than "Welp. Lol" myself.
so, are people from europe/germany in this thread?
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Lol. You don't see who likes you unless you like them back. You have to pay to simply see that part.
Pof does the same thing.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Get out of here with that attitude. Ever see an "ugly" guy with a hot girlfriend?
You think you're physically unattractive? Change your hairstyle. Change your clothes: guys have it easy; a well-fitting shirt+pants makes you look good easily. Acne? Get treatment or buy something at the store. Overweight? Hit the gym. Pictures unflattering? Get better lighting, ask a photographer friend to take some professional shots (you can lie and say it's for your portfolio or something), and/or take pictures of you doing something exciting somewhere (besides your bathroom mirror).
But here's the kicker: don't do this to get more messages on OKC. Do it as a positive lifestyle choice. If you improve, you'll feel better. Your self-esteem and confidence will go up, even if it doesn't translate to an improvement on the website.
Why even stop at the superficial level. Don't like your job? Quit. Go back to school for something you'd like to do. Move. Travel. Pick up a hobby. Join a sports team.
Am I extrapolating a lot from your lack of success on a dating website? Yes, I don't presume to know you or what you're like. But there's more than just online dating. Humans were dating long before the Internet came along. Consider it general life advice.
I honestly have no idea. I actually had caught her more than once doing this, but she always had some alibi.
To be honest though, there were several instances of questionable infidelity during our long-term relationship but there was always a fear on my part of me appearing overly controlling or making a big deal of things.
Yes, I'm a bloody doormat... that relationship really messed me up lol.
I would agree with a lot of this and add that a lot of things can be changed on the physical level, but what really has to change is the mental and emotional attitude on the inside. It's similar to what backslashbunny said earlier: you have to bring something to the table other than looks.
how the fuck am i supposed to find the people who liked me ?
i think im gonna delete this. scammers ? phishing ? ego strokers ? pay for simple shit ?
ill stick to regular dating damn
OkCupid isn't Tinder. You find out if girls like you if they message you back.
In fact, rating or liking girls on OkC and POF has a much lower success rate than actually messaging them.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
You just hit the 5 star on people profiles and in the quick match
And yes, the world is a dangerous place too. Online dating is just another way to do it. If you find success in real life then I don't know why you are trying it IMO. You seem very skittish on the whole idea of it anyhow.
dude i havent liked anyone i didnt even use it
i got 8 likes or something but its all blurred out and it wants me to pay $$$
Maddocks
Member
I live in Los Angeles, the amount of women signing up for the site and dropping the site is always going to be in big numbers. I don't message everyone I see, I'm talking the life of my account here, which is I believe about to hit 7-8 years. I have my age range set to 5 years before my current age and 10 years after it. My distance is 25 miles. EDIT: The problem was I said,"Message everyone and everything" I should have worded it better to,"Message everyone you find attractive and have a shared interest in."
If they reply back, I reply back, If I'm spending time to craft a message it means I'm interested in the person. I don't blind message anyone or copy and paste messages. Every message is personally hand crafted to the person I'm messaging. Sometimes its on my phone, sometimes Its when I'm sitting down at my pc. Lately I haven't been doing it though, only because I have set up things outside of online sites. I'm no expert, but it has worked for me in the past and I'm going to stick with it.
Exactly. Just ignore those likes and carry on.
well yeah i heard some funky stories about people who end up killed or worse after using online dating so im a bit skeptical and frankly dont want to venture any deeper than this
Maddocks
Member
its pretty easy to see who liked you without actually having to pay.
what I do is look at the site on my phone, that puts the site in mobile mode. In mobile mode if you go to "who likes you" it will blur everything out, but it will give you a time of the liking. Then you go to your visitors tab and match up the time. Bam, now you know who liked you without being a A-list memeber.
what I do is look at the site on my phone, that puts the site in mobile mode. In mobile mode if you go to "who likes you" it will blur everything out, but it will give you a time of the liking. Then you go to your visitors tab and match up the time. Bam, now you know who liked you without being a A-list memeber.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
It comes down to the free sites have to monetize somehow. They can't make it too easy otherwise they make nothing.
You might be better suited for the premium pay-only sites, but even they have scammers too, but less of the blatant monetization schemes since they already have your money
I messaged someone that said they liked me but I received nothing, so its not like its always going to work even if you did know who liked you
I would say that the paywall stops nearly all of the scammers on premium sites, simply because money is required to send messages.
Ah, gotcha. Well, lucky you I guess. I do the same, except I live in Paris. "U wot m8? Paris is huge!" Well, maybe so, and/or maybe I'm too picky, I don't know, but I have a feeling that not many French people like to use an international site like OKC. So I'm left with non-French people. As many as there are, the numbers are still much lower because of that.
nah man no way im paying for simple messaging between two adults
thanks for your help though i appreciate it
and SRG01 and maddocks ofc
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Stolen credit cards, prepaid cards, etc. as long as there is money to be made by doing it they'll find a way.
But I think it would definitely weed out a lot of people to compete with (I don't think there's many "DTF?" Messages on a paid site) and it makes it harder for scammers and there are people who are really serious about dating on the site since they're paying money for the service
I had a lot of luck with online dating and i'm just as fat/nerdy/unattractive as most of you guys. I'm currently dating an incredibly awesome girl that I wouldn't have met through my usual means so I consider it a success.
Some basics I picked up. probably all mentioned on gaf already:
- Just keep your profile light and funny. don't be negative at all in it. life's to short for that and you don't need to taint the dating pool with your debbie downer shit. keep that for gaf.
- make it sound like you have shit going on in your life. if you don't, get some stuff started before dating. mention goals and stuff you're currently doing.
- Get some decent pics of yourself. I only had a couple of selfies, but i made a few jokes about only having selfies. evens stuff out...
- don't say anything that they can't easily respond to. all women get a fuck ton of messages. say something witty or challenging. they mention liking fugazi and black flag? tell them they're full of shit if they don't like minor threat too. They like zelda wind waker? tell them its cool they like the 2nd best zelda but majoras mask is way better.
I rarely didn't have a girl respond to my messages and i'm not good looking.
Some basics I picked up. probably all mentioned on gaf already:
- Just keep your profile light and funny. don't be negative at all in it. life's to short for that and you don't need to taint the dating pool with your debbie downer shit. keep that for gaf.
- make it sound like you have shit going on in your life. if you don't, get some stuff started before dating. mention goals and stuff you're currently doing.
- Get some decent pics of yourself. I only had a couple of selfies, but i made a few jokes about only having selfies. evens stuff out...
- don't say anything that they can't easily respond to. all women get a fuck ton of messages. say something witty or challenging. they mention liking fugazi and black flag? tell them they're full of shit if they don't like minor threat too. They like zelda wind waker? tell them its cool they like the 2nd best zelda but majoras mask is way better.
I rarely didn't have a girl respond to my messages and i'm not good looking.
I need to borrow your lines, man.
Yeah, I agree with both points. On the other hand, the most recent girl I met on eHarmony said that she got pretty overwhelmed with messages, so it makes me wonder how many guys make use of paysites too.
Cow Mengde
Banned
It's been a day and we haven't heard from Jipan yet. I hope he's ok.
I message above I think is cool or attractive.
I send out tons, I generally only filter for the people who are intolerable, and won't date outside of their race. Which is sizeable and make it tough for someone who isn't white enough.
j0hnnix
Member
Cow Mengde
Banned
He better.
i did a little experiment and disabled my okc account for about a week and reactivated it for about a day. i went out drinking with friends and didn't bother to check back and the next morning my inbox had about 5 messages and had about 15 "likes" ... and for context a month prior to that i got virtually nothing. nifty little trick... i'm going to try it again with new pics and totally redo my profile. hopefully it'll go even better
Re-upload the same pictures, re-answer profile page essays, and answer more personality questions for a decent boost.
Yeah and they're the exactly kind of girls to keep away from.
I'm not doubting your character but that Discworld stuff says nothing about you (unless you actually wrote the series which unless I'm talking to Terry Prachett then no).
This the kind of stuff you say ON the date, when you get comfortable with someone. It says nothing about your personality. It does in person, it shows off your passions which is an attractive quality in a partner.
These profiles should want to help get to know more of someone, I feel like I've read your life story before I even finished. You need to play it abit coy, add in that bit of mystery, why would I want to get to know you more, that kind of thinking.
The stuff before hand reads really well, a little self deprecating but it works.
I want to have Ultima_5 babies for just mentioning MM. That whole post is on point.
This kinda blows. I'm having a great conversation with someone really cute on Tinder but she lives several miles away. I was coming home from another city and was just right swiping without even looking while driving and we liked each other I guess. Oh well, the chat is still nice to have.
Have a second date tonight. We made out the first night, but it was a challenge as she told me heads up she was hesitant to date anyone in the first place. I have a feeling she will flake but we'll see. I don't mind watching Planet of the Apes movie again tonight if she does lol.
This kinda blows. I'm having a great conversation with someone really cute on Tinder but she lives several miles away. I was coming home from another city and was just right swiping without even looking while driving and we liked each other I guess. Oh well, the chat is still nice to have.
Have a second date tonight. We made out the first night, but it was a challenge as she told me heads up she was hesitant to date anyone in the first place. I have a feeling she will flake but we'll see. I don't mind watching Planet of the Apes movie again tonight if she does lol.
BTW, here's my POF profile if anyone wants to take a look: http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=66173665
I haven't really updated the profile in a while, except for some minor additions/deletions.
I haven't really updated the profile in a while, except for some minor additions/deletions.
Thanks. To be honest, I think I would disappoint people here if I revealed my reply rate from others.
Strangely enough, no person on POF has ever asked me about that trip despite being the first thing on my profile.
I have. I've never placed myself on a timeline for that sort of thing. That being said, the one thing that always pulls me back in is meeting the right person, so it begs the question as to whether or not the hiatus was necessary in the first place.
Alright guys, I'm getting no love on this online dating and have no idea what else to do with my profile. Any tips?
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/vicandsuch
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/vicandsuch
Cheesecakebobby
Banned
When I got to like 25 likes it started blurring out everything completely. But if you go to quick match on PC it seems it will disproportionately show you people who liked you if you keep refreshing the page.
Edit: oh wait visitors are unchanged, though plenty of girls have visitors turned off so you don't know they visited and they don't know if you visited them either. What I was thinking of is that up until 25 likes it told me the location and percent match (maybe age?), which in my country is usually enough to find them.
Well, it's more that I have one in my pocket or chewing and I forget
! Bwahaha. I'm looking for something somewhat serious but not super fast? If that makes sense. Haha. I just message mostly girls I match with? Kinda nerdy if I can catch that vibe? I just try to catch something from their profile and ask a question! What kinda approach would ya recommend?
( I could probably get some of my female friends to take better photos? )
TheKaeptain
Banned
My inbox is empty
Unless you mean the OKC one?
I doubt any Asian woman on OKC has an empty inbox.
FTFY
TheKaeptain
Banned
Nah I have a super hot friend that never gets messages. I believe most people are intimidated.
what? I thought that this only happened in real life.
Like where average looking guys are intimidated by hot girls and don't approach them because of it. This happens online too? I mean, there's literally NOTHING to lose by messaging them. No public rejection or anything to fear.
I can't believe this.
TheKaeptain
Banned
It happens. She called me crying one time because people would look at her account and never message her. On match.com she would only get messages from creepy older dudes offering a lot of cash for sex.
TO BE FAIR, this one girl I was talking to who doesn't have a super hot profile pic apparently got 27 dick pics in her first week after signing up.
Whereas another, arguably way hotter girl, hasn't gotten a single one in the one month she's been on the site. So.... who knows.
Still can't believe anyone would get no messages. ESPECIALLY when hot.
I know/understand about real life, but online? No way I'm believing that...
Whereas another, arguably way hotter girl, hasn't gotten a single one in the one month she's been on the site. So.... who knows.
Still can't believe anyone would get no messages. ESPECIALLY when hot.
I know/understand about real life, but online? No way I'm believing that...
MetalGuardian
Banned
Love it. You are doing it exactly right insofar as you are being lighthearted and funny in each section of your profile. You even have a couple of amusing captions! Perfect, perfect, perfect.
I opted for a profile that is much lengthier than yours because I don't have time right now to fuck around with people that aren't going to be a genuine, very promising match (so I'm casting my net as narrowly yet refined as possible), but there is definitely strategy to your type of concision as well.
My only advice (and this applies to everyone) is to re-read your profile every week or so, cutting and adding and editing as you feel appropriate. It's surprisingly difficult to present the most dateable version of yourself online, in part because a romantic relationship encompasses all of your life and personality, and it's impossible to capture that essence on your first pass at writing these summaries. Your mindset today will likely be different than your mindset on the weekend, but both aspects are equally valid and important. This isn't to say there is anything in your profile that blatantly needs improving, but rather that you can only benefit from regularly adapting and tightening your online dating presence. Since re-activating my account last month, it took me a good three weeks of tweaking my profile almost daily to get it to a point I that I am now completely secure and confident with.
Anyway dude, best of luck! Keep us posted on your adventures
TheKaeptain
Banned
The only thing on there she has that might scare people is the part about a friend of hers being a mod.