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[SRG01]

Could be some truth. As an Asian dude, I've been able to land dates with a few Asian girls, white, Arabic, and I got a Hispanic and black date lined up. Move to the big city!

There could be some truth to the whole 'average girls gets more messages to hot girls'. It's probably like real life where the average girl seems more approachable to the majority. A lot of the average looking girls I've dated have told me since that they have deleted their accounts due to the amount of messages they receive with a lot of them being perverted messages. I feel for them and ask them why can't I get those messages lol.

Anyways it's just as I thought, the date cancelled on me last minute. Good thing I checked before leaving. She said her sister was real sick and she forgot about the date. I'm not really buying it but I'm not sweatin it either. Oh well, tonight I'm taking a dating break and I'm hanging with the boys lol.

For full disclosure, I live in largest 'northern' city in Canada and it had a metro population of over a million people. However, it still has small town attitudes towards things and is generally a boomtown because of its proximity to the oilfields.

And no, I can't move. Family issues require me to stay.

 

[FalconSabre]

If you haven't had an account before, has anybody signed in to their own account on your computer? I'm IP flagged because a girl I was seeing checked her account on my computer. The site now tells me that my username is not recognized. POF aren't really lenient with things like this, just deleting your account and signing back up within a week will be enough to get your IP flagged.

I once had an account last year, but I fully deleted my account through the means of the website. It said it no longer existed anymore when I registered mine, under the same email and all. No idea what could have happened with it.

 

[Jhoan]

Oh... I thought you meant Monday. I was wondering since you disappeared all yesterday from this thread.

Hahaha what you call disappearing I call lurking. I'm always lurking in all the threads I subscribe to including this one. Chances are I'll be lurking before the girl comes (pun not intended).

Maybe I'll post something in the middle of it asking for advice. I can always count on GAF for girl advice.

 

[DoktorEvil]

Girls get bombarded with messages. Look at a girl when she first makes her profile: it'll start off green for "responds frequently" or whatever, due to her ratio of replies to no replies being 0:0. Within 30 minutes max, if she's mildly attractive, it will go to red for "replies selectively". Granted, most of the messages the girl gets might just be "yo bb want sum fuk", but the point is, girls get so many messages, that chances are there are enough non-douchey guys who message her for her to choose from.

Well if that's the standard for which being non-douchey is, then every single guy who says Hello would have a chance.

What it comes down to is women can afford to be pickier online and men have to lie and cheat in order to get a date. That doesn't set a healthy standard for a relationship to begin with, but who ever said today's dating world is good/healthy?

Not to forget mentioning all of the "only insert-race-here guys message me" profiles that irk the hell out of me.

I delete a profile full about every 6 or so months, sometimes longer, just to start over fresh and work with a different profile. What I've learned is that using smoke and mirrors to hide your flaws and project your strengths works.

 

[n64coder]

Guys, for the record it's on Thursday not today, not tomorrow, Thursday. I didn't mention anywhere in my posts any other day.

I did see in one of your earlier posts that you mentioned Thursday was the day so I wasn't worried.

 

[SRG01]

Well if that's the standard for which being non-douchey is, then every single guy who says Hello would have a chance.

What it comes down to is women can afford to be pickier online and men have to lie and cheat in order to get a date. That doesn't set a healthy standard for a relationship to begin with, but who ever said today's dating world is good/healthy?

Not to forget mentioning all of the "only insert-race-here guys message me" profiles that irk the hell out of me.

I delete a profile full about every 6 or so months, sometimes longer, just to start over fresh and work with a different profile. What I've learned is that using smoke and mirrors to hide your flaws and project your strengths works.

I disagree about the lying and cheating. It may be hard to get dates, but the truth always comes out eventually.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

So, I'm going to say it again

If you run out of people on Tinder

delete your account, re-start it with a new picture.

I swear I suddenly have SO many more matches after seemingly having already gone through everyone. If they swiped you left the first time they most likely just saw your profile pic and won't recognize you.

Got a date set up for next week already, just picked one of the random new 15 matches or so that I've gotten in the last 2 days. And she was the one that contacted me, too.

I've actually STOPPED yesterday because there's too many good matches that I can contact now.

TL;DR delete your tinder and re-open if you run out of matches.

I actually made a fake FB account for Tinder. But then I got a match. "Uh yeah I'm not really that name and age..."

It appears you can logout as well. Juggle multiple FB accounts?

 

[The Smoking Bun]

Why does the Match% drop so sharply? It starts off at 85% then 83, 79, dips to the lower 60's and so on until I am staring at 70% enemy who I assume is my arch nemesis that I must defeat to save the princess

 

[freshair]

Why does the Match% drop so sharply? It starts off at 85% then 83, 79, dips to the lower 60's and so on until I am staring at 70% enemy who I assume is my arch nemesis that I must defeat to save the princess

Answer more questions.

 

[freshair]

What it comes down to is women can afford to be pickier online and men have to lie and cheat in order to get a date. That doesn't set a healthy standard for a relationship to begin with, but who ever said today's dating world is good/healthy?

I disagree. And if you have to, then (and I hate to use the cliche) you're doing it wrong.

 

[Randam]

Tinder uses your Facebook?

The name, info and pics you have on Facebook?



Don't even know if tinder is a thing over here.

 

[Funky Papa]

My Meetic profile has been getting a lot of attention lately. All I had to do was... to add a short, funny bio besides listing my interests and what I liked on a woman.

And nothing else.

Spoiler

My bio was empty because I wasn't particularly interested in Meetic, but summer has freed me a little bit from work, so now I can go for something else than a casual encounter.

Tinder uses your Facebook?

The name, info and pics you have on Facebook?



Don't even know if tinder is a thing over here.

There's a crapload of German tourists looking for something over here. And yes, that's what it uses. It doesn't post on your Facebook, it just grabs some minor information from there.

 

[Randam]

What do you mean with german tourists?


And can I add stuff about me only in tinder?
Don't even know how that site works too.

 

[Funky Papa]

What do you mean with german tourists?


And can I add stuff about me only in tinder?
Don't even know how that site works too.

It's not a site, but an app for your smartphone. It uses GPS data to show other people using the Tinder app near you. You can set a search radius up to 120 km and the app will list other users in the designated area.

Here's the official thread.

 

[EloquentM]

So we both deleted all our accounts.

 

[stn]

I'm actually having what I would call an online dating "crisis". Haven't gotten any matches yet on Tinder, though its probably my fault because I constantly swipe left. On OKC I feel like I've seen all the profiles and have no-one new I'm attracted to. Ideas?

P.S. Does Match allow you to open a profile and see who's interested in you before you pay for it?

 

[Halcyon]

I'm actually having what I would call an online dating "crisis". Haven't gotten any matches yet on Tinder, though its probably my fault because I constantly swipe left. On OKC I feel like I've seen all the profiles and have no-one new I'm attracted to. Ideas?

P.S. Does match.com allow you to open a profile and see who's interested in you before you pay for it?

Yea I was messing around with match. I got like 30 profile views the first day and 5 winks, but had no ability to talk to anyone without subscribing so I deleted it.

 

[DoktorEvil]

Or there's nothing redeeming about the person, but instead of working to improve themselves, they just decide to lie and cheat.

So, someone that would rather be lazy and lie than fix the problem.... ... That's super attractive.

Spoiler

Not

.

Not every problem can be fixed.

Nothing redeeming?? Now, I didn't go that far(that's rather harsh). Everyone has something redeeming.

Putting yourself out there is not an easy task for a lot of people.

But when it comes to the physical aspects of dating:

How do you fix being short? You can't.
How do you fix crooked teeth if you can't afford to? You have to save and wait.
How do you fix a medical problem or a mental problem if you can't afford to? Therapy is expensive and takes months to years to be effective.

I shouldn't have said "lie and cheat" I should've said misrepresent and I shouldn't have pigeonholed men, its both sexes. People do it all the time on job interviews, but that doesn't make it right or wrong either. It is what it is. Online dating I feel is the same way and it works both ways. There are plenty of Instagrammed photos that make someone look much more attractive than advertised. Is that lying? Is that cheating? That person could be an great all around person but lacks in the looks department, so they use whatever tools they have to compensate. I get it.

Nobody goes into a relationship 100% perfect and everyone lies or misrepresents themselves in one way, shape, or form. It's the nature of dating, dare I say relationships in general.

 

[j0hnnix]

Not every problem can be fixed.

Nothing redeeming?? Now, I didn't go that far(that's rather harsh). Everyone has something redeeming.

Putting yourself out there is not an easy task for a lot of people.

But when it comes to the physical aspects of dating:

How do you fix being short? You can't.
How do you fix crooked teeth if you can't afford to? You have to save and wait.
How do you fix a medical problem or a mental problem if you can't afford to? Therapy is expensive and takes months to years to be effective.

I shouldn't have said "lie and cheat" I should've said misrepresent and I shouldn't have pigeonholed men, its both sexes. People do it all the time on job interviews, but that doesn't make it right or wrong either. It is what it is. Online dating I feel is the same way and it works both ways. There are plenty of Instagrammed photos that make someone look much more attractive than advertised. Is that lying? Is that cheating? That person could be an great all around person but lacks in the looks department, so they use whatever tools they have to compensate. I get it.

Nobody goes into a relationship 100% perfect and everyone lies or misrepresents themselves in one way, shape, or form. It's the nature of dating, dare I say relationships in general.

I agree everyone lies, misrepresents themselves. I try to get a feel for the person and if its even worth a relationship before I lay all my dirt out. those that play around with lies though will get burned eventually.

 

[SRG01]

Not every problem can be fixed.

Nothing redeeming?? Now, I didn't go that far(that's rather harsh). Everyone has something redeeming.

Putting yourself out there is not an easy task for a lot of people.

But when it comes to the physical aspects of dating:

How do you fix being short? You can't.
How do you fix crooked teeth if you can't afford to? You have to save and wait.
How do you fix a medical problem or a mental problem if you can't afford to? Therapy is expensive and takes months to years to be effective.

I shouldn't have said "lie and cheat" I should've said misrepresent and I shouldn't have pigeonholed men, its both sexes. People do it all the time on job interviews, but that doesn't make it right or wrong either. It is what it is. Online dating I feel is the same way and it works both ways. There are plenty of Instagrammed photos that make someone look much more attractive than advertised. Is that lying? Is that cheating? That person could be an great all around person but lacks in the looks department, so they use whatever tools they have to compensate. I get it.

Nobody goes into a relationship 100% perfect and everyone lies or misrepresents themselves in one way, shape, or form. It's the nature of dating, dare I say relationships in general.

Dude. The Zen of dating is being comfortable enough with your own flaws such that they accentuate your positives.

 

[Smiley90]

Dude. The Zen of dating is being comfortable enough with your own flaws such that they accentuate your positives.

.

If all you're looking for is hookups, fine, be a jerk and lie. If you're actually using online dating for what it's meant for, then PLEASE be yourself. How are you ever gonna fight the right person that likes you for who you are if you're never acting yourself. If you're not comfortable with yourself, then maybe fix that first.

 

[EloquentM]

Ooh, so it's getting to be maybe serious?

course it is! Even though I was being dramatic in my past posts I was sure she'd be someone I could seriously see being with. It's one of those situations where you hit it off so well with such a small (or non existent for this matter) amount of red flags that it almost makes you feel like there might be more off with you than with them. That's not to say I'm down on myself, it's just a testament to how great I think she is as a person. All-in-all I've got to thank okc for meeting her and I'm appreciative to gaf for helping me keep a straight head (even though for the most part my posts were said in jest).

 

[SRG01]

Okay, for argument's sake, I'm going to turn those three things into positives:

Short? Taller women dating short men is amazing. Reference that Sex and the City episode (ohgodwhydoiknowthis).

Crooked teeth? Teeth come in all shapes and sizes for both genders: buck-teeth, overbite, underbite, crossbite, etc. What really matters is a genuine smile.

Medical problem? Everyone has a medical issue and many people are more accepting of it than you think. I once saw a girl on POF who was an amputee. Didn't stop her from having fun and getting messages.

 

[j0hnnix]

.

If all you're looking for is hookups, fine, be a jerk and lie. If you're actually using online dating for what it's meant for, then PLEASE be yourself. How are you ever gonna fight the right person that likes you for who you are if you're never acting yourself. If you're not comfortable with yourself, then maybe fix that first.

 

[godhandiscen]

Okay GAF, advice needed.

I went on a Tinder date two days ago, Monday night, and I flipping loved the girl I met. She's hot, she's active, loves going to concerts as much as me, and is even a bit of a closet nerd. We had a lot of fun and I felt like I really impressed her. I've been in over twenty "first dates" since I got back into online dating late last year, and this date was probably the best; I felt that good about it.

After the date, I texted her once to thank her for the good time, and she replied enthusiastically. Also, during the date, we agreed to go to a concert on Friday, and yesterday I texted her for the name of the band since I wasn't familiar with it and she also replied immediately.

Today, I just cannot get my mind off her. I want to text her, but I don't want to seem clingy. There is just something fucking magical about the way she looks and the way she is. Even though she already said she is going out with me on Friday, I want to ask her to come hang at my apartment tonight. Should I do it, or will it seem desperate?

 

[DoktorEvil]

.
If all you're looking for is hookups, fine, be a jerk and lie. If you're actually using online dating for what it's meant for, then PLEASE be yourself. How are you ever gonna fight the right person that likes you for who you are if you're never acting yourself. If you're not comfortable with yourself, then maybe fix that first.

Heh. When did I say I wasn't comfortable being myself? I just don't play my hand out in the open.

You may be comfortable putting yourself all the way out there in online dating. I'm not going to and never will. She wants to get to know me? She has to work for it the same way I'll have to fight for her affections vs other guys.

And if what I'm saying isn't how Online Dating is meant to be used (whatever that means) then there's a whole chunk of people who aren't using the sites as intended as well.

 

[Smiley90]

Heh. When did I say I wasn't comfortable being myself? I just don't play my hand out in the open.

You may be comfortable putting yourself all the way out there in online dating. I'm not going to and never will. She wants to get to know me? She has to work for it the same way I'll have to fight for her affections vs other guys.

And if what I'm saying isn't how Online Dating is meant to be used (whatever that means) then there's a whole chunk of people who aren't using the sites as intended as well.

There's a difference between "not revealing everything right away", which is normal as you open up more as you get to know them, and misrepresenting yourself.

E.g. If she asks you if you like camping

-> misrepresenting yourself to seem more attractice to her would be lying, like omg I love camping it's the best thing and then tell her later you actually hate camping. Nothing good (except hookups) can come off lies like that. Who wants to be with someone that lied to them before they even met?

-> holding things back would be an evasive answer like "i haven't been often" or "i haven't been anywhere good yet", which is true but not as extreme as "i hate it" so it doesn't put her off.


TL;DR: be the best of you, but for god's sakes BE YOU if you want to find someone that genuinely likes you.

 

[stn]

@godhandiscen

No, leave it to Friday. Its never a bad idea to go slow during and after the first date. Some may see an apartment invite as moving too fast. It really depends on the person. I vote to wait until Friday, see what others here tell you.

 

[SRG01]

Heh. When did I say I wasn't comfortable being myself? I just don't play my hand out in the open.

You may be comfortable putting yourself all the way out there in online dating. I'm not going to and never will. She wants to get to know me? She has to work for it the same way I'll have to fight for her affections vs other guys.

And if what I'm saying isn't how Online Dating is meant to be used (whatever that means) then there's a whole chunk of people who aren't using the sites as intended as well.

Online dating is the same as real-life dating, except for two steps in different orders. You still have to put yourself out there. You still have to fight for attention.

I mean, if your perception of online dating is putting yourself out there in the open, then you're probably have the whole concept of dating all wrong.

Okay GAF, advice needed.

I went on a Tinder date two days ago, Monday night, and I flipping loved the girl I met. She's hot, she's active, loves going to concerts as much as me, and is even a bit of a closet nerd. We had a lot of fun and I felt like I really impressed her. I've been in over twenty "first dates" since I got back into online dating late last year, and this date was probably the best; I felt that good about it.

After the date, I texted her once to thank her for the good time, and she replied enthusiastically. Also, during the date, we agreed to go to a concert on Friday, and yesterday I texted her for the name of the band since I wasn't familiar with it and she also replied immediately.

Today, I just cannot get my mind off her. I want to text her, but I don't want to seem clingy. There is just something fucking magical about the way she looks and the way she is. Even though she already said she is going out with me on Friday, I want to ask her to come hang at my apartment tonight. Should I do it, or will it seem desperate?

Cool it man, it was just a first date. Things can change quickly from the first to second dates, or even future dates.

Remember that for most people the first date is no strings and no commitment. That relieves the pressure for a lot of people and may make them act differently than in other situations.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Okay GAF, advice needed.

I went on a Tinder date two days ago, Monday night, and I flipping loved the girl I met. She's hot, she's active, loves going to concerts as much as me, and is even a bit of a closet nerd. We had a lot of fun and I felt like I really impressed her. I've been in over twenty "first dates" since I got back into online dating late last year, and this date was probably the best; I felt that good about it.

After the date, I texted her once to thank her for the good time, and she replied enthusiastically. Also, during the date, we agreed to go to a concert on Friday, and yesterday I texted her for the name of the band since I wasn't familiar with it and she also replied immediately.

Today, I just cannot get my mind off her. I want to text her, but I don't want to seem clingy. There is just something fucking magical about the way she looks and the way she is. Even though she already said she is going out with me on Friday, I want to ask her to come hang at my apartment tonight. Should I do it, or will it seem desperate?

Hanging out at your apartment may be moving too fast (due to the potential implications). If you're that eager to see her (and you think she feels the same way about you) invite her to dinner and see how it goes from there.

It really depends on the person and the chemistry though. If you think she's also crazy about you, then she may be receptive to your invitation.

But like you said, you're already seeing her Friday and stuff may happen then. Maybe just send her a relatively harmless text ("my buddy just told me this funny story" or "remember when I said X? Well this just happened") and get a conversation flowing from there.

 

[j0hnnix]

Okay GAF, advice needed.

I went on a Tinder date two days ago, Monday night, and I flipping loved the girl I met. She's hot, she's active, loves going to concerts as much as me, and is even a bit of a closet nerd. We had a lot of fun and I felt like I really impressed her. I've been in over twenty "first dates" since I got back into online dating late last year, and this date was probably the best; I felt that good about it.

After the date, I texted her once to thank her for the good time, and she replied enthusiastically. Also, during the date, we agreed to go to a concert on Friday, and yesterday I texted her for the name of the band since I wasn't familiar with it and she also replied immediately.

Today, I just cannot get my mind off her. I want to text her, but I don't want to seem clingy. There is just something fucking magical about the way she looks and the way she is. Even though she already said she is going out with me on Friday, I want to ask her to come hang at my apartment tonight. Should I do it, or will it seem desperate?

It never hurts to ask.. this is not saying she can be crazy but I for one have had my share of psychos and I wait a bit longer in the relationship until I bring someone over to my house. If you are good at reading people, it never hurts to ask, also, do you want it to move fast or slow.. ask yourself that.

 

[freshair]

Today, I just cannot get my mind off her. I want to text her, but I don't want to seem clingy. There is just something fucking magical about the way she looks and the way she is. Even though she already said she is going out with me on Friday, I want to ask her to come hang at my apartment tonight. Should I do it, or will it seem desperate?

Continue texting, but wait until Friday to actually see her.

Do other things to get your mind off her. It's good to be excited and all that when you first click with a person, but live your life too. Don't revolve it around her.

 

[The Smoking Bun]

What kind of messages are you guys sending on OkC?

I've been trying this: "Oh you like [Insert music group]? Have you heard [SONG NAME]? I loved that one." I try to challenge or quiz them on their tastes as an ice breaker.

 

[SRG01]

Continue texting, but wait until Friday to actually see her.

Do other things to get your mind off her. It's good to be excited and all that when you first click with a person, but live your life too. Don't revolve it around her.

I can't stress how important that point is. I got out of a long-term relationship a while ago and I was surprised at how much it destroyed my previous social life. Maintaining a healthy social identity is extremely important for a healthy relationship.

What kind of messages are you guys sending on OkC?

I've been trying this: "Oh you like [Insert music group]? Have you heard [SONG NAME]? I loved that one." I try to challenge or quiz them on their tastes as an ice breaker.

That's an okay icebreaker, but there were some god-tier ones posted in the previous page...

 

[DoktorEvil]

Online dating is the same as real-life dating, except for two steps in different orders. You still have to put yourself out there. You still have to fight for attention.

I mean, if your perception of online dating is putting yourself out there in the open, then you're probably have the whole concept of dating all wrong.

Bullshit. Online dating is not the same. And if you think it is, try going for dates without your phone or computer to guide you.

I go for whomever I'm attracted to in real life situations because I might not have the opportunity to get another change. Its anxiety inducing and exhilarating and in that moment I enjoy the cat and mouse game back and forth trying to convince a woman to give you a chance. You have an opportunity to build a connection from scratch!

Online dating is not that. Online dating is impersonal and it boils down a person to a picture and a profile and some short words that someone has to use to describe themselves with plus the fact you see them over and over again as you search for other dates. That's not spontaneous or interesting or even something that stirs the eyes and the heart. It feels disingenuous. Also, a lot of people are just terrible at describing themselves.

 

[Halcyon]

Okay GAF, advice needed.

I went on a Tinder date two days ago, Monday night, and I flipping loved the girl I met. She's hot, she's active, loves going to concerts as much as me, and is even a bit of a closet nerd. We had a lot of fun and I felt like I really impressed her. I've been in over twenty "first dates" since I got back into online dating late last year, and this date was probably the best; I felt that good about it.

After the date, I texted her once to thank her for the good time, and she replied enthusiastically. Also, during the date, we agreed to go to a concert on Friday, and yesterday I texted her for the name of the band since I wasn't familiar with it and she also replied immediately.

Today, I just cannot get my mind off her. I want to text her, but I don't want to seem clingy. There is just something fucking magical about the way she looks and the way she is. Even though she already said she is going out with me on Friday, I want to ask her to come hang at my apartment tonight. Should I do it, or will it seem desperate?

 

[The Smoking Bun]

I am considering removing, "Most private thing"
It might come off as creepy or inappropriate

 

[Halcyon]

I am considering removing, "Most private thing"
It might come off as creepy or inappropriate

If it was the bit about the chains and whips and whatnot then I agree.

 

[Kyne]

This A-list thing.... it's tempting ~.~;

 

[Sketchbag]

I broke my previous phone a few days ago. Been phoneless. Got a Galaxy S I to put my chip in. Made sure it was workable. This chick I met on Tinder... wow. We were supposed to go on a date today. She sent some messages. They are.. wow. First one was good morning. Turned on my phone and the last 1 was she was super sad and she's super pissed off.

I texted her that my phone was broken and didn't have a replacement until now, also that we're not going out because her messages frightened me. Told her good luck and I deleted that conversation.

 

[The Smoking Bun]

If it was the bit about the chains and whips and whatnot then I agree.

Already done. Bad, bad idea.

 

[NateDog]

Started messaging someone on AnotherFriend (not sure how many countries it's in, it's here in Ireland and in the US too as far as I know) and she seemed pretty cool, she messaged me first but is a good few years younger which wouldn't normally bother me but the fact I've just finished my degree and she just finished school kind of makes it feel a little odd, but hey won't hurt to try it anyway and see how it goes, she recognised the difference but since we seem pretty similar people with similar interests it's worth a go. Anyway we were talking for a few days and bam, I'm logged in and sending a message and the site says I'm suspended for a week, no reason why, nowhere to email about it. Looked it up and apparently they do this all the time with members, even when people just mention simple things like places they like to go to they take it as an attempt to make proper contact (outside of the site, I mean) and tell you you can get your account back if you buy premium, so fuck that. I tried making another account to quickly mention that it happened and it got suspended too, surprisingly only for a few weeks though even though I said in it blatantly "this is an extra account because I got suspended".

Anyone have an idea on how to get around this? I had a similar issue before with a different site and had to just give up on talking with one person because of it since we were never able to get around it and exchange numbers or even arrange to meet up and I imagine the same might happen here too. I tried using worded and misspelled numbers, capitalising certain letters to spell out stuff, etc.

 

[stn]

. . .
Lower your standards?

jkjk

I think some people here report success with deleting and re-creating all their accounts?

I know its a joke and all but you're definitely right. A great personality and humor can get me even if I'm not too attracted, problem is I haven't found OKC'ers to be particularly funny or anything. I'm only willing to lower my physical standards if there's a great, quirky personality that's totally crazy and odd. Honestly, I think the real solution is I need to go out more.

 

[-PXG-]

A former schoolmate/ friend wrote this very entertaining and sobering article about online dating.

http://observer.com/2014/07/50000-f...es-finding-a-partner-in-nyc-harder-than-ever/

He's always been really smart, down to Earth and incredibly witty. Helluva writer too.

 

[-PXG-]

Ooh this was a very good read.

I just talked to him on FB. He should have interviewed me

 

[The Smoking Bun]

I just talked to him on FB. He should have interviewed me

So what should be my takeaway from the article?
That on-line dating doesn't actually work and you are better off meeting people in the real world? I would imagine all those algorithm's and match % numbers are not perfect.

 

[freshair]

Decent article, but online dating isn't the end all be all for dating. It's used as a supplement to meeting people in real life, exposing you to people you wouldn't otherwise meet. Yes, body language and face to face interactions are inherently more important in determining a connection that text written in a profile, but it doesn't matter how you get there, online or irl, just that you do.

A bit too pessimistic for my tastes, but I see his point. It's not for everyone.

 

[Luigi87]

Okay so I'm in Japan no on a solo-trip. A few days before I left I went on a coffee date. It was a nice, awkward at first, but then things got more comfortable. Eventually she drove me home and then gave me her number.

The next day (24 hours or so) I text her saying I enjoyed myself and hope we could do something again after I get back from my trip (she knows I was going to Japan, and even recommended I check out a shop that sold Monster Hunter stuff here). She never texted back though (I would then leave for my trip two days later).

I'm here for another week still, should I text or call her when I'm back and settled? (I ask text or call, because I don't really know if some perceive receiving one or the other differently). Would a text be fine? (IE: If she's still interested, she'd probably respond to it anyway?)

 

[SRG01]

All this talk about online versus real life dating reminds me of a chapter in the Upside of Irrationality. The basic thesis is that real life dating requires a person to meet someone and thus get to know them, whereas online dating is the exact opposite. Thus the filters are at different points: online dating allows for filtering prior to meeting, whereas real life does not.

However, I would posit that both real life and online dating eventually get to the same point after a given time. It's just a matter of either getting rejected now or later.



I would also posit that standards aren't harsher online, but that they're merely more obvious. There may be a few fluctuations, but they aren't likely to matter in the grand scheme of things.

 

[n64coder]

Anyone have an idea on how to get around this? I had a similar issue before with a different site and had to just give up on talking with one person because of it since we were never able to get around it and exchange numbers or even arrange to meet up and I imagine the same might happen here too. I tried using worded and misspelled numbers, capitalising certain letters to spell out stuff, etc.

Does the site have a list of restrictions? What happens when you try to use spelled out numbers, etc? Is it filtered in real time? Can you use URLs? Or is there a human/computer program that reads each message before it's sent? How do you know your attempts did not work?

I'm here for another week still, should I text or call her when I'm back and settled? (I ask text or call, because I don't really know if some perceive receiving one or the other differently). Would a text be fine? (IE: If she's still interested, she'd probably respond to it anyway?)

I would wait until you're back and then give her a call.