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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
That is... one hell of a way to describe your time with online dating sites. :/
lol at more emotional baggage = "low quality" women. Man, I must be F tier then
NoctisVsStar
Member
Okc is then mid tier?
POF tends to have a lot of women that are extremely overweight, have multiple children, and tend to be less educated. There is no way to candy-coat that.
From my experience, it has been "different" for me. I got messages from quite a few people living alternate lifestyles. I was messaged at least twice from women looking to add a third person to their bi-sexual relationship and I was also messaged by an amateur pornstar/swinger. I wasn't on there long before I got into my last relationship, though.
What pictures have you guys had the most success with? I only use tinder and I feel like 90% of a match is gonna come from good photos. Currently I don't think my pictures are very good, but I don't have many photos of myself. I will just have to get a friend to take some, feels weird but I gotta get some good pictures.
Also, are you guys really swiping right on most women? I have opened up my standards a bit since I started Tinder, but I just cannot see myself liking more than about half the women on there.
Also, are you guys really swiping right on most women? I have opened up my standards a bit since I started Tinder, but I just cannot see myself liking more than about half the women on there.
The general suggestion for pics go something like...
- Clear pic of the face.
- Pic of you doing something exciting. Skydiving, spelunking, feeding a gorilla...something that looks like it has a story behind it
- Pic of you with a dog, if you have one.
- Pic of you with other people.
Most people suggest always swiping right, since you can just unmatch a girl if you really aren't interested. There's nothing wrong with being selective, as long as you don't veer into too selective.
Honestly, saying it like that is better than saying 'lower quality', in my opinion
It's also a better judgment of the app itself, because now we're not guessing what you mean by lower quality and getting caught up on that.What's really interesting is that my profile is completely different than what it was before, but has the same pictures. I am getting a lot of responses from the same women I did back when I was single before. I am starting to wonder if this is very much like real life where a woman judges you by your pictures and then just playing the f*ck-up avoidance game.
True Savior
Member
I don't think there's any rule to a type of good photos. A good photo is exactly that...one that you look good. Mine is a photo i took 5 minutes before going to bed with a very cheap filter, and the growth rate of matches was exponential compared with several other i tried. What you should avoid as a first photo is group photos (or with a girl next to you) , photos where your face is imperceptible and bad photos like facing a mirror or very obvious selfies. You will have a profile that is doing something right when some girls actually message you first.
Obviously if someone is fucking good looking (that 10-15%) , any photo that shows that is more than enough. No rules to them lol
I created a profile once with 2 dog pics (stock photos...) that got way more matches than my past profiles . That felt good.
It can be 3 great ones eheh. After a while , change the photos. See if you notice differences. If the answer is yes (a positive one) start over.
NoctisVsStar
Member
I've been looking at the profiles of women on Match and POF, and approving photos of men on POF. I'm starting to notice that a lot of the profiles I've been reading, and a lot of the photos of men tend to be very similar. There really isn't much to make men stand-out, even if they are good-looking. I am going to take a risk and removing most of my better-looking photos and replacing them with my more social and fun photos. They are not as good or clear as my selfies, but we shall see what happens. I didn't see a lot of men with photos that stand out.
Thanks for the advice True Savior. I guess I should just post my profile and get some feedback.
Quote to get the link.
[/QUOTE]
My profile is short, but I feel that something short with just a few details is better than paragraphs.
Two questions, Is tinder's pictures quality always terrible, and when I go to revamp my profile, should I just go ahead and delete to get a fresh start?
Quote to get the link.
[/QUOTE]
My profile is short, but I feel that something short with just a few details is better than paragraphs.
Two questions, Is tinder's pictures quality always terrible, and when I go to revamp my profile, should I just go ahead and delete to get a fresh start?
Blackquill
Member
Lol so I attempted to remessage a girl that didn't responded me for days, she just litteraly blocked me even though I didn't do anything choking or everything. Online dating is a interesting world ! Anyway that's not too bad since having no response or being blocked is the same actually.
Well only 2 matches left now, I have changed my profile photo where I look a little bit older and upgraded my description to something more consistent let's hope it works
Well only 2 matches left now, I have changed my profile photo where I look a little bit older and upgraded my description to something more consistent let's hope it works
Does it actually say she blocked you?
Yep, I got overly excited with asking her out because we were having such good conversation with actual substance along with stuff we have in common. Shit.
Blackquill
Member
The only to stop a delete a match is to block
This definitely sucks. This is exactly why I try to keep conversations short and push for a date. Every girl that I seemed to be having awesome conversations with before meeting, fizzled out on me. I have only had one girl say no to a second date with me. Most women usually like me a lot after they meet me.
You also have to accept that there are girls who have analysis paralysis or just love the thought of attention from men. I have learned to weed these women out quickly. If they aren't willing to meet soon, then you will probably never meet them. I have never taken my time with a woman and had it amount to anything when it comes to the women in the online dating realm.
I don't think that they are the same. I think that if you don't message them again, they might come around and contact you again later. I have been back online for about a day or two and there have been five or six women who ignored my message when I was online a few months ago, attempt to contact me again like it never happened. There is one girl that I am talking to now that is trying to play the "I can't remember why we stopped talking" game. She has been messaging me like crazy now and is starting to get irritated that I have been taking my sweet old time responding to her text messages.
You could do with better pics. There's research that suggests pics without eye contact yield better results than pics where the male looks at the camera - http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-4-big-myths-of-profile-pictures/
Avoid mentioning you're single and your height. The former should be the norm on Tinder. If you were in a relationship and looking for a third, that would merit a mention. On the latter, your height is average. It doesn't make for a good defining characteristic.
Your job is the longest sentence in your profile...it gives off a "live to work" impression. Mention it last and bolster your hobbies.
Through a joke in there! Your profile is awfully dry and just a recitation of facts. "I treat women like I treat my cars. If they make a noise, I listen. They get thirsty, I get them some refreshment. And when they need new pads, I get them pads". Not saying you should say that. You almost certainly shouldn't say that. But if you make a girl laugh, you have a solid in.
I said damn lol so PoF women carry an insane amount of "baggage"
Like me! lol. Or in my case, all of the baggage.
NoctisVsStar
Member
You're cool in my book
Haha, as a friend, sure. That's all I can offer guys though lol.
NoctisVsStar
Member
I legit laughed.
Since we started talking two days ago, she has only been online between the hours of 12am & 3am. That's when all of our messaging back & forth have taken place. Messaging usually takes us both between 15-25 minutes per reply. I don't think I'll be expecting any reply tonight lol
Saw this girl on okc who's really cute & seems cool. She looked familiar. Turns out she's the roommate of a girl I met on okc 7-8 months back. The first girl likes me & has been texting me for over a month trying to get me to go out & have drinks with her. I come up with an excuse every time. She came over one night and wanted to sleep with me, but I kindly declined. I just don't like her like that. She's kinda cool, but there are things about her which annoy the shit out of me. A FWB thing is what she wants, but even then I don't really find her all that attractive. I think getting to know or talking to her roommate now is going to be... challenging.
I say talk to the roommate anyway. Women are vicious when it comes to that type of stuff. You have nothing to lose.
Little Nemo
Member
So I had an empty Tinder profile with no pic/info or anything. I was just checking out my area to see what girls were available with no real intention of meeting up with anyone. I've just been doing this the last day. I've never been on Tinder before.
So surprising some girl actually "super liked" me. She's actually kind of cute. GAF, is this a trap?
So surprising some girl actually "super liked" me. She's actually kind of cute. GAF, is this a trap?
I have Super liked a few people by accident. One of them actually wrote me a really nice message, and I feel pretty bad about it.
Little Nemo
Member
I was thinking of messaging her and asking if she was just incredibly brave or had really clumsy fingers. Maybe it was just the latter.
What do you mean incredibly brave? It doesn't take bravery to click the damn button. I use super like as soon as it's up. It definitely increases my chances of matching with a given person.
Little Nemo
Member
Brave because she's matching with someone who she has absolutely no idea what they look like or anything about them except for their name. For all she knows I could be hideous. I wouldn't waste my super like on any empty profile unless I was feeling really lucky.
True Savior
Member
It's not necessarily a feedback , but if your profile was mine I would try to have a first photo that doesn't look like so much as a selfie. I would also ditch any car-theme photo out of tinder. It does seem more activity related , but various girls told me they found bizarre why guys post car photos on tinder.
As for the text , if someone has something very funny to say or describe , they should put it. But i also think its better to have nothing than be boring in the text. I used to have my height listed until a bunch of girls asked me why the hell did i have my height listed...so i have nothing whatsoever. The revamp , my advice is to change and see if you notice differences. If yes , then start over.
It's most likely a bot.
Little Nemo
Member
Yeah, that's what I was considering. But most of the fake profiles I've seen in the past have telltale signs. They're usually pictures of super hot girls who wouldn't need to go online to get a date. They usually only have one photo (maybe two). And for some reason they always have really bad punctuation.
This girl: really cute, but not super hot. Six photos. One of which is definitely local. Good punctuation.
Anyways, I'll message her/"the bot" tomorrow and see what's up. I just thought it was strange. Even if she's a bot I still feel flattered it would use it's one "super like" to try to scam ME!
I used a 'looking for accomplice to finance Nigerian prince' email scam as my text.
No real bites on Tinder. I had 1 match, I shot her a message and didn't get a response.
It's almost formulaic the pictures I see in their profiles.
Main picture - Girl and her friends casually dressed; not sure which is her
Second Picture - Girl doing something outdoorsy (Hiking, water skiing, skiing, etc.) shot is taken too far for me to see her clearly
Third Picture - Another group shot with her and different friends clearly before a night out on the town (Dresses, skirts,etc.), again not sure which girl it is
Fourth Picture - Finally, a clear picture of them. Typically a plain selfie, or a picture of them and their pet
It's almost formulaic the pictures I see in their profiles.
Main picture - Girl and her friends casually dressed; not sure which is her
Second Picture - Girl doing something outdoorsy (Hiking, water skiing, skiing, etc.) shot is taken too far for me to see her clearly
Third Picture - Another group shot with her and different friends clearly before a night out on the town (Dresses, skirts,etc.), again not sure which girl it is
Fourth Picture - Finally, a clear picture of them. Typically a plain selfie, or a picture of them and their pet
Tinder has been bad for me the only girl I was able to meet up with was a girl that had her kik on there and I messaged her there, and also I had meet her before at her job at Moe's
Other then that my matches dont say anything or unmatch before we can get to the point of going out
Other then that my matches dont say anything or unmatch before we can get to the point of going out
I was hanging out with a friend who also had tinder, and since she sees it from the other end I was curious to see what it's like for girls...it's a fucking wasteland of bros and sad people. Jesus I don't know how women deal with men. Honestly I don't feel so bad about not getting matches now. I think girls just get frustrated quickly.
In Atlanta btw.
In Atlanta btw.
True Savior
Member
I can see girls actually thinking you want to finance nigerian princes.
Etrian Oddity
Member
Two months on Tinder. No dates, one flake, and 98% of what matches I get unmatch me.
So
Had this eHarmony first date Friday night. Only supposed to last two hours, ended up being five. British woman. We immediately hit it off and were exchanging stories, lives, and a whole host of other topics including how fake people can be in Los Angeles. It was flirty non-stop. She asked my surname and we even exchanged Social Media.
I kissed her unprompted but on cue in the middle of the date. It was smooth. We then were physically affectionate for the rest of the date and we continued to drink. At one point she remarked well luckily youre really cute as a remark. Eventually, she had to go meet her sister (her original plan visiting from London) so I walked her outside and she said I want to do this again. I had a great time. We kissed again and hugged and she left.
I text her in the morning (Saturday) hope you got home safe, I had a great time. Have a great weekend!
She doesnt respond. Saturday rolls by (had another good date with someone else). Sunday. Monday. Tuesday. Nothing. Wednesday arrives and I text Hey! How are you/hows your week going?. No response. None.
I jump on eHarmony last night and shes blocked me.
I just What? Lol.
Had this eHarmony first date Friday night. Only supposed to last two hours, ended up being five. British woman. We immediately hit it off and were exchanging stories, lives, and a whole host of other topics including how fake people can be in Los Angeles. It was flirty non-stop. She asked my surname and we even exchanged Social Media.
I kissed her unprompted but on cue in the middle of the date. It was smooth. We then were physically affectionate for the rest of the date and we continued to drink. At one point she remarked well luckily youre really cute as a remark. Eventually, she had to go meet her sister (her original plan visiting from London) so I walked her outside and she said I want to do this again. I had a great time. We kissed again and hugged and she left.
I text her in the morning (Saturday) hope you got home safe, I had a great time. Have a great weekend!
She doesnt respond. Saturday rolls by (had another good date with someone else). Sunday. Monday. Tuesday. Nothing. Wednesday arrives and I text Hey! How are you/hows your week going?. No response. None.
I jump on eHarmony last night and shes blocked me.
I just What? Lol.
Ugh...damn dude, sorry, that sucks. Online dating is a fickle beast, if you haven't been on 5-6 dates with someone, just expect it to fade out at any moment. Hang in there man.
It sounds like you were plan b. People can be shallow and cruel like that. It sounds like someone better came along or she got back with an ex.