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[Kevtones]

Ugh...damn dude, sorry, that sucks. Online dating is a fickle beast, if you haven't been on 5-6 dates with someone, just expect it to fade out at any moment. Hang in there man.

Yeah I just found it really odd that she didn't even say thanks for the drinks or any of that. It seems a little sadistic to be so openly into a date and then be that disrespectful.

It sounds like you were plan b. People can be shallow and cruel like that. It sounds like someone better came along or she got back with an ex.

Definitely possible. I just got Plan B'd by someone else too. I suppose she was Plan B so no big deal. Again, just weird that she didn't even stay friendly. Oh well, thanks y'all!



I'm having a lot of success getting first/second dates on this thing I just seem to not strike it with people when I'm actually interested. We'll see Los Angeles is big lol.

 

[War Peaceman]

So…


Had this eHarmony first date Friday night. Only supposed to last two hours, ended up being five. British woman. We immediately hit it off and were exchanging stories, lives, and a whole host of other topics including how fake people can be in Los Angeles. It was flirty non-stop. She asked my ‘surname’ and we even exchanged Social Media.

I kissed her unprompted but on cue in the middle of the date. It was smooth. We then were physically affectionate for the rest of the date and we continued to drink. At one point she remarked ‘well luckily you’re really cute’ as a remark. Eventually, she had to go meet her sister (her original plan visiting from London) so I walked her outside and she said ‘I want to do this again. I had a great time.’ We kissed again and hugged and she left.

I text her in the morning (Saturday) ‘hope you got home safe, I had a great time. Have a great weekend!’

She doesn’t respond. Saturday rolls by (had another good date with someone else). Sunday. Monday. Tuesday. Nothing. Wednesday arrives and I text ‘Hey! How are you/how’s your week going?’. No response. None.

I jump on eHarmony last night and she’s blocked me.


I just… What? Lol.

You aren't owed a response. She didn't promise anything to you. It sucks that something goes well and nothing further happens. However it could be that she was being polite and a good sport on the date. Or she may have had second thoughts. She just didn't want to say "thanks but no thanks", it is nothing personal.

 

[DivineRage002]

Having my first tinder date tonight. Wish me luck.

 

[Jokab]

Having my first tinder date tonight. Wish me luck.

You'll do great! Remember that silence isn't awkward unless you make it awkward. Call it out, works wonders.

 

[Blackquill]

Is it really bad when I say to someone that her name is cool and that I speak english to her because they didn't say what language they speak in their profile ? Because again, she doesn't respond

 

[Sami+]

You'll do great! Remember that silence isn't awkward unless you make it awkward. Call it out, works wonders.

Hahaha I paraphrased the Pulp Fiction conversation about that when I was cuddling with the girl I'm seeing now and she started blushing/smiling, was funny. Talking is awesome but yeah you gotta know how to just enjoy the silence sometimes.

 

[gaiages]

Is it really bad when I say to someone that her name is cool and that I speak english to her because they didn't say what language they speak in their profile ? Because again, she doesn't respond

...Where do you live?

 

[Blackquill]

...Where do you live?

Belgium, there are people that speak Dutch, French or even English here lol

 

[Mobile Suit Gooch]

Hey lady-GAF could you all look at my profile? http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Gooch_suplex

I don't know how to fix it so people can see it though.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Add your username to end of that link.

 

[Mobile Suit Gooch]

Add your username to end of that link.

Now?

 

[friday]

So, its it common for girls on Tinder to just leave you matched up with them even if they don't respond to a message? I figured they would unmatch if they didn't like what I said.

I gotta meet some women in real life, I think I am better at that.

 

[Assanova]

Hey lady-GAF could you all look at my profile? http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Gooch_suplex

I don't know how to fix it so people can see it though.

Remove the staying at home part from your profile and PS4. I love my PS4 and staying at home, but there is no way I would put those in my profile. You have to stand out from the crowd and not sound boring and like every other guy. I don't know how you're going to do it, but you have to add something to your profile to give a woman a reason to want to respond to you. What's going to separate you from the other men?

 

[Mobile Suit Gooch]

Remove the staying at home part from your profile and PS4. I love my PS4 and staying at home, but there is no way I would put those in my profile. You have to stand out from the crowd and not sound boring and like every other guy. I don't know how you're going to do it, but you have to add something to your profile to give a woman a reason to want to respond to you. What's going to separate you from the other men?

Okay. I removed that part.

I don't how I'am gonna stick out tho.

 

[Jokab]

So, its it common for girls on Tinder to just leave you matched up with them even if they don't respond to a message? I figured they would unmatch if they didn't like what I said.

I gotta meet some women in real life, I think I am better at that.

Even if they decide they are never going to respond to you, they will often still leave you matched to get free attention when you write them a second time wondering why they didn't respond. Not saying you would specifically, but I bet a lot of guys do.

 

[Assanova]

Okay. I removed that part.

I don't how I'am gonna stick out tho.

Do you have any accomplishments that you can hang your hat on? What about any funny, crazy, or scary experiences that you've had? My profile is basically a summary of things a woman would want to know and experiences that paint a picture of me and some of the things that have happened in my life. They are all either positive, outlandish, or funny. For example, you could list something like "I once spent the night in a hospital because I was dared to eat the world's hottest pepper", etc.

 

[GtwoK]

Online dating (specifically OK Cupid) makes me wish I lived somewhere else. The matches and girls here are alright, sure, but I keep getting liked (and sometimes messaged) by amazing girls from LA and NYC. I live near Toronto.

No clue why they do it. But a lot of them are really enthusiastic about me and will message me and we'll have a great convo, and they'll be really attractive and interesting and funny. It's just like... damn. Why can't any of them be living here.

Why do people do that? Like why are you looking for someone literally in a different country, let alone message them?

 

[DivineRage002]

Having my first tinder date tonight. Wish me luck.

Date went well, no awkward silence, 2 hours of solid conversation.

She looks a LOT better irl than in picture, she's tall (5'9") and I'm 6'2".

But I'm not sure we "connected" relationship wise.

Three tips I have to remember for next time:

1. I didn't "challenge" her. Asking her a question like "what makes you special" or something similar would get her more involved next time.

2. Smile less. I'm not sure how true this is, but I've heard that if you smile too much, you're basically being too easy or something. Yet I was smiling the whole time (I'm a happy guy).

3. Physical contact. There was no physical contact at all and I think this is what might've screwed me. Does anyone have a tip on how to easily initiate physical contact without being awkward?

 

[Assanova]

Date went well, no awkward silence, 2 hours of solid conversation.

She looks a LOT better irl than in picture, she's tall (5'9") and I'm 6'2".

But I'm not sure we "connected" relationship wise.

Three tips I have to remember for next time:

1. I didn't "challenge" her. Asking her a question like "what makes you special" or something similar would get her more involved next time.

2. Smile less. I'm not sure how true this is, but I've heard that if you smile too much, you're basically being too easy or something. Yet I was smiling the whole time (I'm a happy guy).

3. Physical contact. There was no physical contact at all and I think this is what might've screwed me. Does anyone have a tip on how to easily initiate physical contact without being awkward?

I don't care about any of this. I do whatever feels comfortable to me. Given that some of what you wrote may be true, I think it has to come naturally. Nothing like awkwardly trying to be someone that you're not. I think that the more experienced you are, and the more options you have, you tend to naturally be more challenging and physical without awkwardly coming off as a try-hard.

I think the not being physical thing works against you when the girl is showing obvious signs that she wants you to be physical. With the challenging thing, I think it only works against you when a girl is being disrespectful or challenging you herself. Either way, I wouldn't try to force it just "because".

 

[Salamando]

Hey lady-GAF could you all look at my profile? http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Gooch_suplex

I don't know how to fix it so people can see it though.

Your profile casts a very narrow net. Every section either says nothing worth remembering (the first three sections) or are nerd references. A girl who isn't into games or anime is not going to get much out of it. If you're looking to attract a wider audience, you either need wider interests or a better expression of your personality.

Also - making your profile funny > saying "I'm good at making people laugh". And proper grammar and punctuation go a long, LONG way.

 

[TheKaeptain]

Wait there are women here that will grade our profiles?

 

[Leeness]

Wait there are women here that will grade our profiles?

Woman here, but useless at grading profiles and so I won't... Haha.

 

[Salamando]

Wait there are women here that will grade our profiles?

I am most decidedly not a woman, but that still won't stop me from handing out advice. Proper grammar, good humor, decent pics, and an interesting hook will get you results.

 

[Blackquill]

I think that I got an interesting match on Tinder, a girl with some sense of humor and she seems to like me a bit, do you usually ask for being friends on facebook ?

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

I think that I got an interesting match on Tinder, a girl with some sense of humor and she seems to like me a bit, do you usually ask for being friends on facebook ?

No. You ask them out.

 

[Blackquill]

I don't know if I should believe in the Devil

Anyway, I think you right, let's do that

 

[Jokab]

I don't care about any of this. I do whatever feels comfortable to me. Given that some of what you wrote may be true, I think it has to come naturally. Nothing like awkwardly trying to be someone that you're not. I think that the more experienced you are, and the more options you have, you tend to naturally be more challenging and physical without awkwardly coming off as a try-hard.

I think the not being physical thing works against you when the girl is showing obvious signs that she wants you to be physical. With the challenging thing, I think it only works against you when a girl is being disrespectful or challenging you herself. Either way, I wouldn't try to force it just "because".

For the record, what do you think these signs are?

 

[Assanova]

For the record, what do you think these signs are?

This should be pretty obvious. Flirting, getting close to you, asking you to walk to her or your car or doing it anyway, trying to extend the date when you mention leaving, etc. All of that stuff seems pretty obvious to me. Now, it doesn't mean to wait forever, like a third date or whatever, because at some point, you do have to force yourself to make a move if the signs aren't obvious, but if this is a first date, I would hold off if the physical contact doesn't come naturally, but that's just me. To give you an example of forcing myself to make a move, I don't care what date it is, if a girl invites me over to Netflix and chill, then I am making a move.

 

[gaiages]

Wait there are women here that will grade our profiles?

I look at people's profiles to help them out, yes. If you're not comfortable posting it here you can PM me the link. Though like I told Gooch I wouldn't really be able to look at it until Monday, I can help if you need it

 

[Assanova]

Just got back from my first date since I broke-up with my girlfriend. The girl looked much better than her pictures. I love it when this happens instead of the other way around. I've only been online for about a week, but it may already be time to shut down my accounts due to the number of women who have responded so far.

 

[peanutbutterlatte]

Just got back from my first date since I broke-up with my girlfriend. The girl looked much better than her pictures. I love it when this happens instead of the other way around. I've only been online for about a week, but it may already be time to shut down my accounts due to the number of women who have responded so far.

Assanova indeed...

Yeah, thinking I might have to go back online soon. I went on one date with a girl (old friend from college), but she has a really busy social life and she doesn't really seem super keen on another date. Mixed signals though, like she'll pop up and chat, send me pictures (nothing explicit, just selfies), then seem super cold. She can only meet up on weeknights for the time being, which is super awkward with my job too.

In any case, can't hurt to make a profile. OKCupid generally seen as the best one?

 

[Blackquill]

Just got back from my first date since I broke-up with my girlfriend. The girl looked much better than her pictures. I love it when this happens instead of the other way around. I've only been online for about a week, but it may already be time to shut down my accounts due to the number of women who have responded so far.

You're lucky dude, congrats !

Anyway, when someone doesn't respond anymore after I said good night the last day and hello today, it's time to quit or I attempt another reply

 

[Assanova]

Assanova indeed...

Yeah, thinking I might have to go back online soon. I went on one date with a girl (old friend from college), but she has a really busy social life and she doesn't really seem super keen on another date. Mixed signals though, like she'll pop up and chat, send me pictures (nothing explicit, just selfies), then seem super cold. She can only meet up on weeknights for the time being, which is super awkward with my job too.

In any case, can't hurt to make a profile. OKCupid generally seen as the best one?

I still think that Match is the best, even though you won't get as many responses. I really like the girls that I have met on Match. It just depends on what you are looking for.

You're lucky dude, congrats !

Anyway, when someone doesn't respond anymore after I said good night the last day and hello today, it's time to quit or I attempt another reply

I just ignore them. The girl that I went on a date with today was one of the ones who didn't respond to a text awhile back, but contacted me again when she saw that I had re-opened my online dating account. I really don't feel like you can win by contacting girls who don't respond. It just makes you look thirsty. This is why it pays to be talking to multiple women and going on dates with multiple women instead of focusing on just one girl. It keeps you from being needy and caring too much. If a girl ignores my text, then oh well, I have the next one "on deck".

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Hey lady-GAF could you all look at my profile? http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Gooch_suplex

I don't know how to fix it so people can see it though.

1. Have more than one picture. People are superficial. Need at least one full-body shot.
2. Don't use "DM".
3. Expand. Who are you, where are you from, how would your friends describe you, etc. Finding out what stuff? Why do you ghost?
4. No slang or "lol". Don't say you're getting your act together.
5. Use paragraphs, especially in the "favorite" section. I should be able to skim your profile and pick out things.
6. Be creative with your six things.
7. Proper spelling and grammar.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Hey lady-GAF could you all look at my profile? http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Gooch_suplex

I don't know how to fix it so people can see it though.

What I gather from your profile is that you're not putting effort into it. Reason being - it's not even proofread. You don't even have the barest hint of a summary. You have one picture. You talk about "getting your act together."

1. Have more than one picture. People are superficial. Need at least one full-body shot.
2. Don't use "DM".
3. Expand. Who are you, where are you from, how would your friends describe you, etc. Finding out what stuff? Why do you ghost?
4. No slang or "lol". Don't say you're getting your act together.
5. Use paragraphs, especially in the "favorite" section. I should be able to skim your profile and pick out things.
6. Be creative with your six things.
7. Proper spelling and grammar.

Basically, what he said. Even if you're going to appeal to a very niche group (super overtly nerdy girls who are also religious), you need another draft of this. And more pictures.

Actually, you're really eloquent in posts here, Gooch, so this shouldn't be hard for you! Just pretend it's an OT GAF post that happens to be on a dating site.

 

[gaiages]

What I gather from your profile is that you're not putting effort into it. Reason being - it's not even proofread. You don't even have the barest hint of a summary. You have one picture. You talk about "getting your act together."



Basically, what he said. Even if you're going to appeal to a very niche group (super overtly nerdy girls who are also religious), you need another draft of this. And more pictures.

Actually, you're really eloquent in posts here, Gooch, so this shouldn't be hard for you! Just pretend it's an OT GAF post that happens to be on a dating site.

This is gonna sound super rude, but Diaboli, have you seen his GAF posts in this thread? I don't know if doing that is going to help.

Also, in lighter topic, this is a message I got today:

"If you could have either a pet hamster the size of a rhino or a pet rhino the size of a hamster, which would you choose and why?"

:3

 

[GK86]

Wow, such an easy choice. Hamster the size of a rhino.

 

[gaiages]

Wow, such an easy choice. Hamster the size of a rhino.

I know right?! I need an adorable hamster I could cuddle into

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

This is gonna sound super rude, but Diaboli, have you seen his GAF posts in this thread? I don't know if doing that is going to help.

Also, in lighter topic, this is a message I got today:

"If you could have either a pet hamster the size of a rhino or a pet rhino the size of a hamster, which would you choose and why?"

:3

Yeah, but they're spellchecked and that's an improvement. I'm okay with an incremental process.

Edit: So, I helped Gooch via NeoGAF PMs. We'll see how this turns out, but I'm optimistic.

Also, I received this email from a girl I'm meeting tomorrow night:

I feel like this may not have been clear- definitely not the woman who murdered someone.

 

[Blackquill]

Sometimes Tinder show me a girl that I have already liked, does it happen to you sometimes ?

 

[GK86]

Sometimes Tinder show me a girl that I have already liked, does it happen to you sometimes ?

Yeah. Tinder is buggy.

 

[friday]

Also, in lighter topic, this is a message I got today:

"If you could have either a pet hamster the size of a rhino or a pet rhino the size of a hamster, which would you choose and why?"

:3

I should steal that one. For the record I would go with a hamster sized Rhino.

I feel like jokes can be a good way to start a conversation, but I think I would just come off as cheesy. Cold-open jokes aren't really me. I usually start with a light hearted complement and a question about something related to their pictures or profiles. I fear it might be a little too bland though.

 

[Jokab]

I should steal that one. For the record I would go with a hamster sized Rhino.

I feel like jokes can be a good way to start a conversation, but I think I would just come off as cheesy. Cold-open jokes aren't really me. I usually start with a light hearted complement and a question about something related to their pictures or profiles. I fear it might be a little too bland though.

I dunno. As long as you don't say "hi", "what's up" or "ur hot wanna bang", you have a better opener than 95% of Tinder guys.

 

[gaiages]

I dunno. As long as you don't say "hi", "what's up" or "ur hot wanna bang", you have a better opener than 95% of Tinder guys.

Haha, pretty much!

And everyone should steal that joke, it's wonderful.

Yeah, but they're spellchecked and that's an improvement. I'm okay with an incremental process.

Edit: So, I helped Gooch via NeoGAF PMs. We'll see how this turns out, but I'm optimistic.

Also, I received this email from a girl I'm meeting tomorrow night:

I helped him out a bit too, so hoping for the best.

...Also, is DC like the new Florida or something? Did Florida Woman move to DC? O-o

 

[AcridMeat]

Wow, such an easy choice. Hamster the size of a rhino.

I actually would prefer the rhino. I ain't got space for that hamster, and it would probably just eat me.

 

[ohhthegore]

lets say me and the wifey have decided to try and have some fun with another girl in the mix, which dating site is the best for something like that??

 

[Mobile Suit Gooch]

Okay. I found one. I need a proper line to send to her. Got any suggestions?

Never mind.
Message me if...

Your educated, have a good head on your shoulders, attractive, have goals

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Okay. I found one. I need a proper line to send to her. Got any suggestions?

Never mind.
Message me if...

You're not sending a message because of the "your educated" bit, right?

 

[stn]

Your educated. Bittersweet irony.

 

[Mobile Suit Gooch]

You're not sending a message because of the "your educated" bit, right?

Pretty much.