electricshake
Member
If I were in your shoes I wouldn't be so fussy.
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
If I were in your shoes I wouldn't be so fussy.
TheKaeptain
Banned
No joke when I get a response it's usually from someone that just wants to go out, eat, and have sex. None of these chicks want a real relationship.
Knees too sharp. 2/10. Would not bang.
TheKaeptain
Banned
I look at people's profiles to help them out, yes. If you're not comfortable posting it here you can PM me the link. Though like I told Gooch I wouldn't really be able to look at it until Monday, I can help if you need it
I'll send it later.
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
Well, she said you have to be "attractive" also. I don't know what's her idea of attraction though.
Anyway, I've sent a few messages but no response yet.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
There's one way to find out. Also, you literally have nothing to lose.
So, in my case, I finally introduced the girl I've gone out with a few times to my friends this weekend. I've never actually done that before, and now I'm wondering if it's too soon. But hey, you gotta live a little. Other girl I've gone out with twice -- with the fizzled second date at the movies -- is in Iceland for a while. I texted her the day she flew out, and she surprisingly responded pretty quickly. I like her, but the ball's in her court, though.
Also participating in an interesting social experiment: I'm meeting "not a killer" tonight after a month of exchanging messages predicated upon establishing friendship first. Days-long gaps between them, though. I don't even know what she looks like, save for one zoomed-out LinkedIn picture that I just saw yesterday. The goal is to meet as friends, and she actually messaged me before I started talking to the other two.
I suppose I could message more people or reply to the ones I've gotten. Maybe tonight, depending on how my crazy experiment goes.
To be honest, your first profile wasn't grammatically perfect either.
You could send her a message making a joke about it
Okayies :3
Diaboli you should give someone your contact information so we can make sure you're not dead
Haha, when I told my dad I was messing around with online dating he instantly said I was going to get killed by an axe murderer.
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
Alright found a new girl!
Definitely closing my accounts in a day or two. Time to narrow down the field. On a side note, once you have good pictures, a well crafted message goes a long way in setting yourself apart from the crowd of men. A few women have commented on how well-crafted my messages are and I have been asked out on dates by two different women today. I looked at my stats on Match, and out of the messages that I sent out without women showing interest first, I have around a 40% response rate.
If I sent you my profile, would you be willing to give my pics a quick once-over and offer feedback on 'em? I think they're solid, but my lack of success indicates otherwise.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
I'm alive. Kinda wish the girl arrested for murder had shown up.
Didn't go well (though there were some patches of mutual amusement) -- she was very quiet and a little awkward. We spent the first 30 minutes talking about how stressful her job is and how tired she was from working. Ever get into a situation where you're having to forcibly steer things? That was me. She's a sweet, gorgeous girl (surprisingly!), but I highly doubt we'll see each other again. If she asks, then maybe.
Sure. I am no wizard, but I just use common sense, some of which is mentioned in the original post in this thread. Some general rules that I follow when it comes to my pictures are:
-Always take pictures any time that you can. I have hundreds of pictures, of which only about 20-30 are good. I have a ton of selfies and I try to get group shots with my friends whenever I can.
-Protip: the best place to take selfies are in clothing store changing rooms. They offer the best lighting possible because they want you to look good in their clothes. Take full advantage of this.
-Look at your pictures objectively. One of the pictures that I absolutely hate, women seem to love. I think it is a horrible picture, but it paints me as a successful man that has his sh*t together.
-Contrary to the general advice given, I like to throw in a few selfies to give clear shots of my face.
-At least one picture smiling, although there was a study saying that smiling is bad for men; it is good to have at least one shot of your teeth. Any time I neglect to post one, women always ask about it.
-Show at least a few shots of your body if you are in shape, but try not to make it obvious.
-Show yourself in different scenarios to paint a picture that you are not a one dimensional type of guy. I have a shot of me in formal attire, shots with my friends, shots with me goofing around, etc.
-A bad picture may be a bad picture, but if it can convey something good about you, then post it if you have also have good shots of you. For example, most of my social pictures are in really bad lighting, but they are worth posting because I also have pictures with clear shots of my face.
-Yes, it may be a really good picture of you, but if it sends the wrong message, don't post it. I have a ton of pictures of me being a complete idiot, but I don't post them as they may come off as a bit immature.
-Going back to what I said before, get a really good camera phone and take as many pictures as you possibly can. Even if you are already in a relationship, take a ton of pictures, because you never know when you will be single and need them.
-It may be worth it to get into an insane workout routine for a month or two like I did. You can take really good photos and then go back to your normal exercise routine.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
I just realized that I'm handicapping myself by having terrible pictures, none of which show my body. On the other hand, a picture of a dog helps, as does one of me feeding a giraffe a leaf from my mouth.
Something else has come to mind: a ton of guys have those interesting "I think this is a cool photo" photos. You know, the photos of you hiking, riding a motorcycle, playing with a wild cat, etc. Although those types of photos are good to have, they really aren't going to set you apart from other men. What will set you apart are photos that have sex appeal. Social and cool photos are nice, but they are really only putting you above the men who post garbage photos; par for the course type photos.
Photos with sex appeal are what will make women notice you. And when I say sex appeal, I am not talking about looking like you lift 24/7, I am referring to looking like you've had sex before and are competent at it. Most guys either have sexy photos or great profiles/messages; very few men have both.
Look at any picture of male models and how they look at the camera. You need a couple of those type photos. Photos that convey that you are cool and confident, regardless of your body type. Bonus points if you don't look like you are trying to be sexy and it comes off as a natural photo. My most recent ex-girlfriend said that she can take one look at a guy and tell whether or not he will be good in bed. Something to think about.
Photos with sex appeal are what will make women notice you. And when I say sex appeal, I am not talking about looking like you lift 24/7, I am referring to looking like you've had sex before and are competent at it. Most guys either have sexy photos or great profiles/messages; very few men have both.
Look at any picture of male models and how they look at the camera. You need a couple of those type photos. Photos that convey that you are cool and confident, regardless of your body type. Bonus points if you don't look like you are trying to be sexy and it comes off as a natural photo. My most recent ex-girlfriend said that she can take one look at a guy and tell whether or not he will be good in bed. Something to think about.
Uh I'm going to call bullshit on this. There is no way of telling this.
Of course there isn't, but you're not going to change a woman's mind. I brought this up to my ex and she said "I have been right about it so far". Either way, it doesn't hurt you to have a few pictures that show some sex appeal.
ViewtifulJC
Banned
Profile Pic Inequality:
Pics of you being social >> pics of you being sexy naturally > pics of you being LOOK AT ME I'M SEXY unnaturally(shirtless bathroom pics here) >> pics of you and your fuckin pets > pics of you and other girls > pics of you on the toilet > Pics of you being social with a guy who's taller/sexier than you
Pics of you being social >> pics of you being sexy naturally > pics of you being LOOK AT ME I'M SEXY unnaturally(shirtless bathroom pics here) >> pics of you and your fuckin pets > pics of you and other girls > pics of you on the toilet > Pics of you being social with a guy who's taller/sexier than you
Actually, pet pics tend to be quite good.
Agreed, those are near the top. If you have a cute dog and a good photo, it's going to serve you well. As a person with a dog, I love seeing pics of girls with their dogs...immediate ++ points.
ViewtifulJC
Banned
Pet pics are decisively mid-tier profile choices. Cute at best, inoffensive most of the time, "this person is a weird recluses with all his fuckin' cat pictures" more often than you like.
A social setting with good lighting > *
A social setting with good lighting > *
I think the only bad thing about doing friend introductions is that they may feel like the relationship is progressing further than you'd like them to? What do you think?
I've been cutting back on OKC a little bit. I was seeing three girls, one of them wasn't replying to texts very quickly and I was the one pushing for plans, so I just sent her a text saying that we should be friends if she wasn't feeling a relationship (we have a lot of shared hobbies and music interests). She hasn't replied back, no big deal.
The other two are getting dangerously close to having a "relationship" talk I think. We've been out about 6-8 times each, staying over each other's places....I like both of them quite a bit but I'd also like to...frankly...sleep around some more and just meet people casually. I'll have to face up to the situation at some point though, advice?
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
I've updated my profile pic to a less goofy look.
Well of course the social setting pictures are the best, and all pictures of some dude with his cat are terrible, but people love pet overall. Certainly better than trying to look sexy in front of a mirror.
All of my pictures are selfies or mirror pictures because I generally look like a huge goober in any kind of social setting. You can usually clearly see on my face "oh god I don't want to be here why am I here???". Or I am making a really horrible expression. I don't photograph well candidly, is what I'm saying lol.
Had a second date Saturday. Went quite well. She's very about it but I'm not sure if we're a match. Cute as hell but not really meshing in some ways important to me. She wanted me to plan a third date
Advice needed though
Then had a first date on Sunday. Legitimately stunning woman. I was a little less confident than I would've liked but I did well enough. Convo was good and I made her laugh a lot. She opened up about herself and at a point and we were pretty 'in momentum'. We hugged at the end of the date and she looked at me I couldve tried to kiss her but I got the vibe she takes things quite slow. If we get a second date Ill take that as the indicator.
She asked me to text her when I got home to make sure I was safe. Let her know I was in one piece.
Me: Home in one piece. Had a nice time and it's good to know youre not a serial killer (the serial killer thing is an in-joke we have already)
Her: Good to know youre not in two!! I had a nice time as well and Im still not sure if you are or not
I took this as a smidge flirty.
Me: Classic serial killer response. Putting suspicion on me and then bam, axe to the face. I gotta be careful.
It was late and she didnt respond. Kind of a leave it there comment I suppose. Figure shell wait for me to text her this week. Ill wait a couple days, yeah?
Yeah, I'm not entitled. It was just odd for her to be the instigator of contact, friend me on IG, text her this video I mentioned, give compliments, and then the 'I want to see you again' and then go completely ghost. I don't think it was a 'good sport' thing given given everything but whatever though lol, it's irrelevant now.
Advice needed though
Then had a first date on Sunday. Legitimately stunning woman. I was a little less confident than I would've liked but I did well enough. Convo was good and I made her laugh a lot. She opened up about herself and at a point and we were pretty 'in momentum'. We hugged at the end of the date and she looked at me I couldve tried to kiss her but I got the vibe she takes things quite slow. If we get a second date Ill take that as the indicator.
She asked me to text her when I got home to make sure I was safe. Let her know I was in one piece.
Me: Home in one piece. Had a nice time and it's good to know youre not a serial killer (the serial killer thing is an in-joke we have already)
Her: Good to know youre not in two!! I had a nice time as well and Im still not sure if you are or not
I took this as a smidge flirty.
Me: Classic serial killer response. Putting suspicion on me and then bam, axe to the face. I gotta be careful.
It was late and she didnt respond. Kind of a leave it there comment I suppose. Figure shell wait for me to text her this week. Ill wait a couple days, yeah?
Yeah, I'm not entitled. It was just odd for her to be the instigator of contact, friend me on IG, text her this video I mentioned, give compliments, and then the 'I want to see you again' and then go completely ghost. I don't think it was a 'good sport' thing given given everything but whatever though lol, it's irrelevant now.
I am like 1/4 on super likes. I sent one tonight to a very cute girl, lets hope that new main picture works its magic.
I think I am close to meeting up with a girl though. We messaged a lot yesterday, so I got her number and we have been texting each other on and off today.
Are most people comfortable going from texting straight to meeting in person, or do you guys talk on the phone or something first?
I think I am close to meeting up with a girl though. We messaged a lot yesterday, so I got her number and we have been texting each other on and off today.
Are most people comfortable going from texting straight to meeting in person, or do you guys talk on the phone or something first?
I never talk on the phone unless it is with a girlfriend.
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
Assanova, could you go look at my profile again?
TheKaeptain
Banned
I would leave out the anime stuff or anything that screams "nerd". Look, I am the nerdiest guy in the world, but it is not something I bring up early on unless asked about it. Also, I am going to be brutally honest about your summary, it needs a complete re-write. The rest of your profile is fine, but it looks like you're trying to tell a story that goes nowhere.
For example, if you are trying to excite a woman, instead of what you wrote, you might want to try something like:
"I once locked myself out of my house, so I ended-up living out of an air plane for a week."
Of course the example isn't true, but if it was, a woman is going to immediately wonder if you own a private jet, why you were in a plane for a week, if you called a locksmith, etc. Do you see where I am going with this? It gets a woman's mind going and makes her want to talk to you.
If you don't have interesting parts of your life to write about, then you should be thinking about this stuff going forward and how you can make your life more interesting. Also, I have said this before, but you need better pictures. The first picture kind of looks like one of those forever alone memes.
Finally, it looks like you are in college. Do you have a job yet? If not, then I don't think online dating is the proper avenue. Instead, you should be trying to build your social circle, meeting women that way, and trying to fill your life with interesting adventures. Most of the women in college who are okay with a man without a career aren't really on dating websites unless they have children. I am not sure about Tinder, but on Match, you are dead in the water without a career if you aren't extremely physically attractive.
Edit: I sent you a PM.
I'm probably an outlier on this, but I'd rather meet someone before giving them my number :/
I was giving out my number first and ending up with dick pics that I didn't want. :/
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Now I want the Assanova treatment (oh, well-- that sounds more involved than it might be). Considering that I've de-scoped my prospects down to one woman, who was silent this weekend, I suppose I need to start queueing in some alternatives. Anyway, this is my profile, and I'd like comments, since it's a work in progress.
Quote to reveal.
Quote to reveal.
Fuckin dudes. We are shit.
It's not a big deal. I'm just more cautious.
I never get that far with most conversations anyway, and if I do, then it helps get rid of people who don't understand. If they understand, great! If not (or they call me stupid lol), then...I can stop talking to them! Win win.
Something is off with your settings. I can see Gooch's profile fine, but yours keeps taking me to the login screen. I currently don't have an Ok Cupid account. I deleted it when I got into my last relationship and never signed back up.
On a side note, I have three more dates set up. It should be fun meeting new women, but I am dreading the time away from my personal daily routine. I'm going to have to find a girlfriend fast.
Blackquill
Member
No match for like 2 days on Tinder and the three last matches I got don't respond to me at all. I changed my profile pic again to see if it get any results. Almost two weeks since I registered on tinder hmmmm
Getting frustrated with Tinder. It is bugging out hardcore. I've deleted the app, reinstalled, logged out/in, restarted phone, etc but I keep getting a bug where I don't see the newest replies and matches. I finally have good matches and am having solid comversations. Someone even superliked me (lol). One recent match doesn't even has her main picture show up as blank. Anyone know how to fix this?
Edit: Logged on using a different phone. Same issue. Must be server side. Fuck me.
Edit: Logged on using a different phone. Same issue. Must be server side. Fuck me.
Those messages lost forever or what?
Wanna fuck?
On a side note, a little statistic from my POF account: I have been on POF for about a week and a half now and 75 women have said that they want to meet me. That is roughly 7-8 women per day. Of course, at least half of those women aren't physically attractive to me.
As for my Match account: Like I said, I had about a 40 percent response rate, however, that stat dropped my last day or two on there, due to my account about to expire, and messaging women that I wouldn't normally message. That 40 percent number isn't from sending out random messages. It is from carefully choosing who to message. In order for me to message a woman, she either has to say she is looking for men that fit my physical description, or she has to have a well-written profile that gives me some material to message her about. I almost never message women with blank or very short profiles unless they show interest first.
As for my Match account: Like I said, I had about a 40 percent response rate, however, that stat dropped my last day or two on there, due to my account about to expire, and messaging women that I wouldn't normally message. That 40 percent number isn't from sending out random messages. It is from carefully choosing who to message. In order for me to message a woman, she either has to say she is looking for men that fit my physical description, or she has to have a well-written profile that gives me some material to message her about. I almost never message women with blank or very short profiles unless they show interest first.
True Savior
Member
Something something coffee.
I started a free Match account to see what the mobile app is like. I dig it and the women seem nice, but you gotta pay to get any real features, and I just got out of a 6 year relationship and I don't really want women to think I am looking for anything long term right now. Mostly, that shit is expensive.
I keep getting emails saying women are interested in me though, but I am not sure how legit all of those emails are considering that it cost money to really meet women on Match.
I keep getting emails saying women are interested in me though, but I am not sure how legit all of those emails are considering that it cost money to really meet women on Match.
Google a discount code. Match is worth the price of entry. Since women also have to pay, they tend to be very serious about dating. Also, I am very happy with the quality of the women on there.