YES. Just do it, don't overthink.
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
Huh? I said say who it is, not who is it lol
what's your number?
always works for me, I don't like asking for numbers because I'd rather not have a bunch of girls numbers on my phone before meeting them and knowing if we want to see each other again. I can text on a dating app just fine, It's a necessity tho.
What I do is after a bit of back and forth, I sorta soft ball a date idea. If she's down I say, "what's your number?" then I just iron out the details by text.
always works for me, I don't like asking for numbers because I'd rather not have a bunch of girls numbers on my phone before meeting them and knowing if we want to see each other again. I can text on a dating app just fine, It's a necessity tho.
What I do is after a bit of back and forth, I sorta soft ball a date idea. If she's down I say, "what's your number?" then I just iron out the details by text.
Lol I'm sorry. Long day. Good man.
Haha. In any case, crush those eggshells. This is someone you haven't even gone on a date with yet, you can't give her that much power over you. Regain that power and confidence.
If you do 'screw up your chance' over a little miniscule thing, then you're better off. Can you imagine the girl freaking out because you texted her before giving her your number before giving yours on Tinder, or because you gave your number on Tinder and weren't 'manly' enough to txt her first. You are overthinking these improbable scenarios, when ultimately it doesn't actually matter how you play it (if she is a rational person that doesn't create drama out of nothing)
Same thing with the number thing. If a girl agrees to go on a date with you, there is no (rational) scenario where she would freak out just because you followed up with a simple 'What's your number?' just after.
If you do 'screw up your chance' over a little miniscule thing, then you're better off. Can you imagine the girl freaking out because you texted her before giving her your number before giving yours on Tinder, or because you gave your number on Tinder and weren't 'manly' enough to txt her first. You are overthinking these improbable scenarios, when ultimately it doesn't actually matter how you play it (if she is a rational person that doesn't create drama out of nothing)
Same thing with the number thing. If a girl agrees to go on a date with you, there is no (rational) scenario where she would freak out just because you followed up with a simple 'What's your number?' just after.
We've decided on a place, but not the time yet
Fallout-NL
Member
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Mm. The feeling when you message someone and the reply's done with poor grammar and "sent via app." Forcing myself to respond, but only because her dog's cute.
At this point in my life, I dodge girls with bad grammar. I can't really tolerate women that aren't educated or are super ditzy. An absolute deal breaker for me.
How does one really know if the dates will continue beyond the first? I've had both where I've felt a connection and where I haven't. 100% of the time when the chemistry is there in some form, I always get a text from the girl afterwords. Something about how good of a time she had and then we go from there. However, what if one of us feels it and the other doesn't? I wouldn't want to rely on her messaging me. Though I didn't before, it just always kind of worked out that way.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
I do this too. I'm 33. I don't have time to play games with girls who are ignorant or just not very intelligent. One night stands? Yeah, that's about.
I'll be honest. I'm having multiple women sending messages first. I should've just ignore them while I'm communicating with the girl I'm going out with tomorrow night. It's a bit annoying to be honest. Like, I want to do my own shit for the day.
Another girl who I told her that she lives too far away for my taste, and I apologized. She was cool with it. The next morning, she sends me a text saying I shouldn't discriminate someone for living too far. I apologized, she asked if we can at least be friends. I said sure. But she's still trying to jump on my D I suspect.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Oh, I know: I imagine we're in the same boat (highly educated professionals, that is). In fact, let's see what she just sent...
... hey, punctuation! And she asked me out on a date already. With her dog, which is important. Anyway, had a proper Netflix & chill date last night, where I hooked Jurassic World girl on Jane the Virgin in between said chillings. The other girl I'd been out twice with, I suspect she's back from Iceland now, but I doubt she'll contact me again -- and the ball's in her court.
I'm getting tired of the online dating scene, or at least OKCupid. Oddly enough, I'm having better luck meeting people IRL. A co-worker of mine (I'm leaving at the end of the month) and I seemingly hit it off, and it's been a month of constant snark-flirting with another lawyer.
The only way you know dating will continue beyond the first is by meeting her for the second. Conversation extending after the date is a good sign. Her looking up at you longingly at the end of the first before you lean in for a kiss is a good sign. But none of those are a guarantee. I've had both of those occur with girls I never saw again.
And if one party isn't feeling it, they should just tell the other party. Or they'll just ghost and stop replying.
jimmypython
Member
oh myyy
just matched with 2 girls (one profile) on tinder.....they wanna "have some fun"...we chatted a little and I bailed....lololol
just matched with 2 girls (one profile) on tinder.....they wanna "have some fun"...we chatted a little and I bailed....lololol
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
I just bought an iphone 5s, my first iphone, and I noticed that I do not get any bots. Maybe that was a problem on 6tin?
jimmypython
Member
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
What do you use, by the way? At this point, I want quality over quantity.
I was on Match, but I am still on POF. I feel like Match has the better quality if you are looking to actually settle down. It still has ditzy girls, but the vast majority that I come across are at least educated. POF has a lot of girls that don't seem to have graduated from college.
I've never kissed a girl on a first date, ever. I'm pretty damn shy with that. Besides, this girl I'm meeting up with on Tuesday straight up told me (we agreed on this, actually) that we'd be meeting as friends and seeing where it goes from there. Nothing like a "date" per-say. So I don't think leaning in for a kiss is necessary/appropriate.
I don't give out a number before meeting someone. When I used to, most of it ended up with me not meeting them because "I have her number = send pics of my dick" to most guys on POF.
I mistrust basically everyone until I can meet them in person and actually talk to them.
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
At that point they can murder you and you'll wake up the next morning dead.
Meeting them in public haha. Not in a dark alley or going off anywhere alone with them.
I generally don't meet anyone anyway
I just don't like getting dicks on my phone.
But you were able to screen out the creepers without having to meet them!
Did it go 'completely normal conversation' --> dick pics? Because that's pretty weird.
Doesn't hurt to meet genuinely good people. I understand POF is a giant cesspit of horny gross dudes, but there's always the hay in the needle stack (in POF's terms). Like others have said, it's a numbers game.
Leeness said:
I generally don't like getting dicks anywhere unless it's my own.
It's very much a "read the moment" kind of thing. Like, you give her the customary goodbye hug, she doesn't let go, she looks up at you, you hear a crab singing...sometimes, you just gotta kiss the girl.
"meeting as friends" sounds awkward as fuck. I can understand the appeal, but you've upped the potential confusion. You're going to have to take careful notice of her word choices.
They send you one, you send them one bigger. Have a can of Lysol right next to it, so you can completely emasculate them. Unfortunately that might not be a dealbreaker for some, so you'd also need a plan B.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
You'll figure it out. My best dates -- I always know I'm going to kiss them. Or we kiss halfway through. Or my hand's on her knee already. Or we're holding hands and caressing each other's knuckles. The other posters are right: what you meet as doesn't really matter, but you do have to assess the spark of chemistry throughout.
That's the point--if someone gets mad at me because I won't give them my number, well...that's fine then. Bye. Haha.
And generally, yes. Normal conversation, and either a first text would be a dick, or it would be like "yeah, I like video games!" "Me too!" "I like this game -dick-". Or something to that effect.
I generally...don't like to meet people. I'm introverted enough that meeting people is just tiring. I guess I hope for that ~one person~ I could meet that wouldn't make me so weary and we could be friends?
I don't particularly like any dicks
They're fine on nude models for drawing, though!Haha when it happened, I just stopped talking to them.
Yeah I suppose it's a dynamic thing. The whole "meeting as friends" thing came from the conversation about what she's looking for from tinder. She doesn't quite like the idea of going into something with the hope/expectation of a relationship. I guess she prefers to be friends and wing it from there. I can understand that. Bottom line is that we matched on tinder, she's a girl and I'm a guy. We're going out to a restaurant and we've been talking every day since we matched. Regardless of how either one of us feels, there has to be 'something' there, even minuscule, for any of this to even happen and for us to keep talking.
I generally...don't like to meet people. I'm introverted enough that meeting people is just tiring. I guess I hope for that ~one person~ I could meet that wouldn't make me so weary and we could be friends?
I don't particularly like any dicks
I don't particularly care for meeting people either, but you must've felt love and human connection before, right? It's a hell of a thing for sure. It can't be forced, but limiting yourself to friends only and/or something strictly platonic is a shame, in my opinion. I don't mean sex for the sake of it, I mean doing so with someone you actually care about, because the two feel totally different.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
PM me your number.
Nope, only family and friends. I've gone on a couple first dates here and there, but that's about it. "Dated" a bit in high school, a lot of abuse and therapy followed.
I just have no interest in sex, only being friends and maybe a bit of cuddling, but I have no desire to have anything past that.How so?
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
i dont want to receive any!
How so?
i've never done it and i don't really get it.
Nope, only family and friends. I've gone on a couple first dates here and there, but that's about it. "Dated" a bit in high school, a lot of abuse and therapy followed.
Fair enough, but I still think limiting yourself is no bueno. I can't necessarily understand the lack of interest in sex, as it is one of the highest forms of intimacy/love between two people that love one another. Unless something traumatic happened, I find it hard to understand the lack of interest.
You're a good person then!
Congrats!I don't love other people other than family and friends though
And frankly, I find things related to sex really disgusting haha. I mean, I've met one guy in my life that the idea of sex with him didn't make me gag but nothing came of it. So... It's pretty rare. I couldn't get away with sending girls a dick pic. There is a very noticeable birthmark right at the base...if there was a dick lineup at the police station, someone could pick it out. That birthmark also led to a fairly stressful summer where I was convinced I had skin cancer. Never noticed it before, then all of a sudden there's a giant mark near my junk. Ended up getting every mole on my skin biopsied.
Oh, sex is disgusting, no question. But damn can it be enjoyable. You don't need me extolling its virtues though.
It sounds like you might not be completely asexual, but just demisexual - you require an intense emotional connection before sexual attraction is possible.
I don't love other people other than family and friends though
Oh, sex is disgusting, no question. But damn can it be enjoyable. You don't need me extolling its virtues though.
It sounds like you might not be completely asexual, but just demisexual - you require an intense emotional connection before sexual attraction is possible.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
I thInk it'd be fun to list our profiles. Mine changes randomly for fun:
FACT: Tom Cruise is awesome
FACT: I invented the turtleneck
FACT: I'm educated
FACT: I'm 6'1
Anything else? Swipe right!
FACT: Tom Cruise is awesome
FACT: I invented the turtleneck
FACT: I'm educated
FACT: I'm 6'1
Anything else? Swipe right!
It's a good thing we don't have to hunt for our food anymore. I don't even know where sandwiches live.
Don't get murdered. If you do get murdered, call 911 and let them know where your dead body is.
I guess her murder window is very specific.
Was it for netflix and chill?