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[bananafactory]

You get a match when you liked a person and she liked you back (or vice versa). And you dont know if that person liked you or not (although there's some ways to know). If she super liked you (the blue like button) , the profile will show a blue edge and an information that the person liked you.

Loads of people , just means more people that will be able to see your profile and more chances to match with someone. And new users tend to get prioritized. Odds are naturally at stake, but having good photos is the only important thing.

Haha damnit I don't really have any photos of myself. I took a crappy cell phone pic just to put on my profile :/

 

[Blackquill]

Yeah the photo change really everything.

Ok so it's been more than a month of Tinder, time to do some kind of review of it :

It sucks.

Seriously, this app makes me more sad or frustrated than happy. Only got one date which turned nice but every other matches were shit. First, I got like (true) 20 or 30 matches in this timelapse, I could say that's cool and can lead to a lot of dates but not really (keep in my mind that I changed my photo a lot and now I have something better than my first weeks on tinder). First, there are girls that just delete the match immediately because they swipe left for everything and didn't like my face when they saw the match. Then, we have people that don't respond message even if I try to be creative, funny or nice. And finally they are people that talk to me and then in the middle of the conversation, they just stop talk, like that.

I know that I shouldn't be a dick and entitled to get a response but I'm just pissed by how people are on Tinder. It's a app made for social interactions and most of people here are just passive waiting for their beautiful prince / princess while doing absolutely nothing.

And I won't even talk about the like limits, the bugs or the fake accounts.

That's shit, I'm pissed that I wasted so many time these last weeks for this. I will delete it right away after making a last call with my matches.

 

[True Savior]

Haha damnit I don't really have any photos of myself. I took a crappy cell phone pic just to put on my profile :/

Crappy photos = 0 matches (unless you belong to the 7%).

Yeah the photo change really everything.

Ok so it's been more than a month of Tinder, time to do some kind of review of it :

It sucks.

Seriously, this app makes me more sad or frustrated than happy. Only got one date which turned nice but every other matches were shit. First, I got like (true) 20 or 30 matches in this timelapse, I could say that's cool and can lead to a lot of dates but not really (keep in my mind that I changed my photo a lot and now I have something better than my first weeks on tinder). First, there are girls that just delete the match immediately because they swipe left for everything and didn't like my face when they saw the match. Then, we have people that don't respond message even if I try to be creative, funny or nice. And finally they are people that talk to me and then in the middle of the conversation, they just stop talk, like that.

I know that I shouldn't be a dick and entitled to get a response but I'm just pissed by how people are on Tinder. It's a app made for social interactions and most of people here are just passive waiting for their beautiful prince / princess while doing absolutely nothing.

And I won't even talk about the like limits, the bugs or the fake accounts.

That's shit, I'm pissed that I wasted so many time these last weeks for this. I will delete it right away after making a last call with my matches.

Why are you so invested in it though ? After the initial surge matches always go down (unless you are in a crazy busy city). Be more passive. Go there once or twice , swipe a couple of dozen profiles everytime. Choose a super like you think you have a chance (not the girl you know will swipe you left . As you mentioned , you had 20-30 matches and not a lot happened (although that's a high number for just one date , at least if you wanted to go on a date with all the girls)......you only need a bunch of good matches.

After you noticed a bump in the matches with better photos did you started over ?

If you are getting a somewhat steady number of matches just let the profile be there.

Tinder can be really hurtful. Because of how people behave and because of the primal rejection based on how we look in a photo. That shit can be desolating.

 

[bananafactory]

Crappy photos = 0 matches (unless you belong to the 7%).

Any tips on taking good photos? Dos and do nots?

 

[Jokab]

Any tips on taking good photos? Dos and do nots?

• Smile (or at least look happy in some way)
• Have good lighting that brings out the best in you
• Clothes that fit
• Avoid selfies if you can, have a friend take a photo of you while you're acting normal
• Mirror selfies are even worse than normal ones
• Good camera helps a lot
• For photo reel, have first one be only you in selfie-mode (as said though, not a selfie), one with friends (shows you're social), one doing activity (shows you have hobbies). Rest are up to you.
• Some people like animals in photos, some don't. I'd avoid them honestly
  

 

[bananafactory]

• Smile (or at least look happy in some way)
• Have good lighting that brings out the best in you
• Clothes that fit
• Avoid selfies if you can, have a friend take a photo of you while you're acting normal
• Mirror selfies are even worse than normal ones
• Good camera helps a lot
• For photo reel, have first one be only you in selfie-mode (as said though, not a selfie), one with friends (shows you're social), one doing activity (shows you have hobbies). Rest are up to you.
• Some people like animals in photos, some don't. I'd avoid them honestly
  

OK I think I have most of those covered, but what do you mean by "selfie mode but not a selfie"?


Also how do I remove my FB likes from my Tinder profile?

 

[Blackquill]

Crappy photos = 0 matches (unless you belong to the 7%).



Why are you so invested in it though ? After the initial surge matches always go down (unless you are in a crazy busy city). Be more passive. Go there once or twice , swipe a couple of dozen profiles everytime. Choose a super like you think you have a chance (not the girl you know will swipe you left . As you mentioned , you had 20-30 matches and not a lot happened (although that's a high number for just one date , at least if you wanted to go on a date with all the girls)......you only need a bunch of good matches.

After you noticed a bump in the matches with better photos did you started over ?

If you are getting a somewhat steady number of matches just let the profile be there.

Tinder can be really hurtful. Because of how people behave and because of the primal rejection based on how we look in a photo. That shit can be desolating.

I'm like that with "social-like" app, same with facebook or twitter. So sometimes it's better to just quit and come back some other day. But I still think that's not really a great app IMO

 

[Jokab]

OK I think I have most of those covered, but what do you mean by "selfie mode but not a selfie"?


Also how do I remove my FB likes from my Tinder profile?

I just mean have it be a selfie of you, but not one that you took (or don't make it obvious you took it). Like just you, being happy. Don't have multiple people in the photo.

You can't remove your FB likes unless you remove them from FB as well. But thing is only people who share your likes will see them, so it's harmless.

 

[bananafactory]

I just mean have it be a selfie of you, but not one that you took (or don't make it obvious you took it). Like just you, being happy. Don't have multiple people in the photo.

You can't remove your FB likes unless you remove them from FB as well. But thing is only people who share your likes will see them, so it's harmless.

Ah OK good to know. Thanks for the tips. Still waiting on a first match but I guess it's just about being persistent, I'll try and figure out a better 1st profile photo tonight


Edit: how is this for a "selfie" pic? It's the only one I can find that wasn't taken by me and there's no one else in the photo

 

[Fallout-NL]

Yeah got 19 matches on one night on Tinder ! Yeah...

All of them are fake account trying to make me subscribe to there garbage site -_-

You need to stop swiping right on the porn star looking women .

 

[gaiages]

You don't look happy imo, and it's pretty hard to actually see you. If you were realllllly dead set on using it, you'd have to at least crop the sides out.

There's nothing wrong with having pictures with others in them, as long as you have at least one picture of you alone so chicks know who you are.

If you don't have any good pics, have some friends take better ones for you.

 

[bananafactory]

You don't look happy imo, and it's pretty hard to actually see you. If you were realllllly dead set on using it, you'd have to at least crop the sides out.

There's nothing wrong with having pictures with others in them, as long as you have at least one picture of you alone so chicks know who you are.

If you don't have any good pics, have some friends take better ones for you.

I dislike having my picture taken which is probably why I look miserable. Lol.

Most of the pics I do have with friends is with women since most of my friends are female and I was told to avoid putting up pics with people of the opposite sex

Like is this a bad one to use? (apparently every pic of me was taken at a hockey game)

 

[gaiages]

I dislike having my picture taken which is probably why I look miserable. Lol.

Most of the pics I do have with friends is with women since most of my friends are female and I was told to avoid putting up pics with people of the opposite sex

Oh. Yeah, you were told correctly, pictures with other women can backfire big time.

Still, you have to get more pictures if you want to be successful in the online dating game. I get it, getting your picture taken sucks balls (I hate it too) but you're gonna have to deal and put a smile on your face for a few minutes And try and get a pic or two chilling with your guy friends too.

EDIT: I think it's a good looking pic, but I don't know about the lady friend. You could just take the silly route and just draw a new face on her and something, like some people do when they take pics with other people in them but don't want those people to identified.

 

[bananafactory]

Oh. Yeah, you were told correctly, pictures with other women can backfire big time.

Still, you have to get more pictures if you want to be successful in the online dating game. I get it, getting your picture taken sucks balls (I hate it too) but you're gonna have to deal and put a smile on your face for a few minutes And try and get a pic or two chilling with your guy friends too.

EDIT: I think it's a good looking pic, but I don't know about the lady friend. You could just take the silly route and just draw a new face on her and something, like some people do when they take pics with other people in them but don't want those people to identified.

Haha alright sounds good. It's gonna be a bit awkward to ask people to take photos for my Tinder page but I will suck it up.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Hmmm. New update may be glitchy? I received a message from s girl, and a few minutes after I check it I don't see anyone.

Plus, I blew my chance to Netflix and chill with someone.

 

[True Savior]

Hmmm. New update may be glitchy? I received a message from s girl, and a few minutes after I check it I don't see anyone.

Plus, I blew my chance to Netflix and chill with someone.

The profile unmatched after a few minutes. Or it was blocked if it was a bot.

 

[Palpable]

I've had 0 luck in the last few weeks.

 

[Fallout-NL]

I've had 0 luck in the last few weeks.

Had lots of matches, but setting up an actual date is more difficult. Wondering whether it's better to just ask if they're up for a drink in the first few messages.

Do have one match that's already messaging me non-stop (well, almost) through whatsapp. Which is just great. Love that.

 

[gwailo]

Had lots of matches, but setting up an actual date is more difficult. Wondering whether it's better to just ask if they're up for a drink in the first few messages.

Yes, get off of the app/site as soon as possible. Just come out and message them that you would like to meet up for drinks or coffee. The longer you stay chatting in the app/site, the more you're just going to be an internet "friend" that they're just gonna use for cheap self-esteem boosts. If the person comes back with "it's too soon" or "I want to get to know you more" just move on. People like that will almost always find some reason to flake out and aren't worth your time.

 

[Fallout-NL]

Gotcha.

 

[Llyranor]

If the person comes back with "it's too soon" or "I want to get to know you more" just move on. People like that will almost always find some reason to flake out and aren't worth your time.

Absolutely. The point of the first date is to get to know you. And too soon for WHAT? It's just BS excuses.

 

[Lulubop]

Had lots of matches, but setting up an actual date is more difficult. Wondering whether it's better to just ask if they're up for a drink in the first few messages.

Yes

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I was not single for a while but now I am single again.

I was thinking about dipping my toe back into online dating, and then I remembered the entire catastrophe from last time

 

[The Albatross]

Exchanged a few messages on OkCupid with a girl over the weekend and scheduled a date for tonight. Texted her when I was near the place we were meeting and then about 30 minutes after waiting there for her. No response to either text and she obviously didn't show up. Feels bad man.

Do I even bother with ya "hey sorry we missed each other, want to reschedule?"

Been there. Don't bother. She doesn't respect you.
Don't let it get to you, if possible. Doesn't feel good tho.

 

[The Albatross]

I dislike having my picture taken which is probably why I look miserable. Lol.

Most of the pics I do have with friends is with women since most of my friends are female and I was told to avoid putting up pics with people of the opposite sex

Like is this a bad one to use? (apparently every pic of me was taken at a hockey game)

First things first... what about the girl in this photo? She looks ecstatic to hang out with you. She did makeup and her hair to go to a hockey game with you, also took a selfie... So that counts for something.

But if that's a sibling or relative, No worries (and sorry for misreading it -- dont take it as a slight, its normal & tough to tell online) .. You've gotta take a better photo. This sounds silly but if you do a round of exercise, even if its mild, take a photo right after that. Obviously with clothes on and nothing hyper sexual, but when you exercise, you feel best about yourself so you feel more natural smiling and bring friendly. Give it a try if your feel your photos lackluster. Even if you don't excercize Normally, try doing 5 push ups then taking a selfie... It sounds crazy but there's a natural adrenaline boost with it and you may exude a Normally unseen confidence

Also, nogo on that first photo. Face is too dark, plus its from above which gives your face too much shadow. This sounds crazy, but look up how girls take selfies... They take them from just above, with good lighting like from a bathroom light. It works for guys too. Try not to fret about taking dozens of photos of yourself....... You can always delete them.

 

[The Albatross]

I was not single for a while but now I am single again.

I was thinking about dipping my toe back into online dating, and then I remembered the entire catastrophe from last time

If you're recently single, always dip your toe. Its a great way to move beyond the old flame, even if unsuccessful, its another distraction. Best wishes.

 

[Llyranor]

I was not single for a while but now I am single again.

I was thinking about dipping my toe back into online dating, and then I remembered the entire catastrophe from last time

Just do it. Worst-case you can send yourself anonymous confessions about weird date stories.

 

[Lulubop]

Have a coffee date right now with a Japanese girl at a coffee shop... In Times Square. Not expecting much, but it's cheap and I'm broke. That said, it's Saturday night and I'm tryna see some action. I have options if this doesn't pan out.

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

Went on a date last Sunday, we became Facebook friends Wednesday, she disabled her OKC account Thursday, and today I texted her if she found what she was looking for. Her response: "Hey! Not really - I just got overwhelmed by it and feel like I need some more time to myself."


Interesting.

 

[Lulubop]

Ended upnat bars and stuff. Dated went surprisingly well, making out and all that. No play on first date tho. about to meet up with someone else in bk. Feeling gud =).

 

[Dartastic]

Been mindlessly using Tinder for a month now. Haven't really gone out on a date yet. Will be going on one this week, maybe.

Mostly been doing it mindlessly because I wasn't really trying to set something up. My ex and I broke up in early August, and she just tonight moved out. We were together for just over 3 years. I'm 31 now. I don't want to make a pity party thread or anything, but man. I feel like shit right now. I know that we did the right thing, and it was time, and things will be better and all that crap but... feels bad man.

 

[Lulubop]

That went well =)

Back 2 back.

 

[BlitzEngineer]

Little deflated. Talked to a girl for awhile on OKC, when I asked her out she made some excuses and I got the vibe she wasn't really interested. Posted about this on the last page but I sent her a playful message saying I got the hint, and she came back saying I got the wrong impression and she did want to meet me. So I get her number and we start texting, ask her out on another date, real casual, just ice cream and see where it goes from there.

Well she says yes, seems excited, even texts me stuff like "Can't wait to meet you in a little over 24 hours ". Then 3 hours before we're supposed to meet she texts saying something came up and she doesn't know if she'll be free. Told her we could always meet up later or on another day and she never gets back to me.

Today I took one last shot (call me an optimist I guess) and asked if she wanted to try again tonight. Says she has to work tomorrow and has to "rest up". Keep in mind I'm asking her to go for ice cream mid-afternoon not drinks or dancing or anything late night.

Yea, so clearly she's not interested I guess. But why give me her number and be all into it just to make a bunch of excuses later? Bleh.

Another girl I had a potential date with next weekend for some live music has since deactivated her account and didn't answer my text today. Swing and a miss.

Three consecutive missed dates from girls who seemed like they were interested at first is a bit draining. Gonna take a break for a few days, only have one good Tinder lead left I'll keep talking to and see if I can get something going over next weekend.

Being in a new city and striking out this bad sucks . I find working out super hard in the gym helps though. Gotta keep the confidence up.

 

[Leeness]

People who ghost are kind of terrible human beings. Like...glad I know before I meet you that you're a bad person so I don't have to bother, but seriously.

Trying to meet new people generally justifies my intense dislike of...meeting new people and people in general lol

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

It's such bullshit and it only started happening to me 3 times this summer. The 3rd being mentioned a few posts above. She gave me that text message word for word. I could respond to it if I want to or just leave it alone.

 

[Salamando]

On Thursday, I got the "I'm sorry, I'm not yet over an ex. Don't take this personally, you're great!" text. Uh huh. Not being over an ex I can understand...dipping your toe in, see how it feels...but throwing in the "you're great" part just feels patronizing.

Not terribly surprised, the signs she wasn't all that into it were everywhere. I just need to start listening to those signs instead of rationalizing them away.

 

[BIGWORM]

Hey. Just wanted to see how you guys and gals are doing with your online dating adventures. Next week is gonna be big for me. Moving in with my girlfriend and rearranging some rooms--she owns a house her step dad lives in. A lot (read: all) financial decisions have been made together. Gonna put back and buy a car in the neat future. Profiles have been deactivated a long time ago! I'm sorta anxious to kick it up to the next step already! =)

 

[Leeness]

It's such bullshit and it only started happening to me 3 times this summer. The 3rd being mentioned a few posts above. She gave me that text message word for word. I could respond to it if I want to or just leave it alone.

That's not ghosting, that's a polite turn down.

I'm talking, been talking for a bit, in the middle of a conversation, and they vanish.

"Hey, how's your day been?"
"Good, how about yours?"
~vanish~

 

[Orkidea]

That's not ghosting, that's a polite turn down.

I'm talking, been talking for a bit, in the middle of a conversation, and they vanish.

"Hey, how's your day been?"
"Good, how about yours?"
~vanish~

This literally happened to me, not from online dating but from a girl I met

I don't understand..

 

[Lulubop]

That's not ghosting, that's a polite turn down.

I'm talking, been talking for a bit, in the middle of a conversation, and they vanish.

"Hey, how's your day been?"
"Good, how about yours?"
~vanish~

 

[True Savior]

It's such bullshit and it only started happening to me 3 times this summer. The 3rd being mentioned a few posts above. She gave me that text message word for word. I could respond to it if I want to or just leave it alone.

Bro , c'mon. She was polite. Overwhelmed is not negative. She centers the problem around herself. We all know its bullshit , but she seems cool.

I actually liked her rebuttal so much , that i might use it the future.

On Thursday, I got the "I'm sorry, I'm not yet over an ex. Don't take this personally, you're great!" text. Uh huh. Not being over an ex I can understand...dipping your toe in, see how it feels...but throwing in the "you're great" part just feels patronizing.

Not terribly surprised, the signs she wasn't all that into it were everywhere. I just need to start listening to those signs instead of rationalizing them away.

You're over-analyzing and projecting the negativity of he reaction towards her personality. You're great , its exactly that. "You were nice but I'm not interested". It's not patronizing. It's a girl trying to reject you in a friendly way.

 

[gaiages]

Hey. Just wanted to see how you guys and gals are doing with your online dating adventures. Next week is gonna be big for me. Moving in with my girlfriend and rearranging some rooms--she owns a house her step dad lives in. A lot (read: all) financial decisions have been made together. Gonna put back and buy a car in the neat future. Profiles have been deactivated a long time ago! I'm sorta anxious to kick it up to the next step already! =)

Congrats dude!

This literally happened to me, not from online dating but from a girl I met

I don't understand..

It's to avoid confrontation. People often don't know how the other will react to the word no.

 

[Entropia]

Been there. Don't bother. She doesn't respect you.
Don't let it get to you, if possible. Doesn't feel good tho.

I ended up shooting her a text. No response, of course.

I'll be honest, I was pretty annoyed that it happened. Horrible approach to online dating, but of all the girls I messaged on OkC she was the one I thought wouldn't message me back, lo and behold she was the only one to message me back (at that point). So I was pretty excited we had this date lined up.

I've shot out a few more messages to other girls, one responded to me last night, and I think I have another lead I'll be messaging tonight.

 

[Leeness]

This literally happened to me, not from online dating but from a girl I met

I don't understand..

I don't either. It just reinforces my dislike of people lol

Basically.

It's to avoid confrontation. People often don't know how the other will react to the word no.

I mean yes, and I've done it in instances where someone I start talking to gets weird and/or pushy. (Had a weird conversation a bit ago that was "hey you're nice, but let's be friends." "Yes let's be friends and see what happens." "No I mean it, just friends." "Yes and see what happens." and I stopped replying after that because it was obvious he wasn't going to let go of "see what happens".)

But this is literally "been conversing for a couple of weeks now, we seem to be talking well and are planning a meet up, gee I can't wait to meet!" and then in the middle of a conversation, they just stop talking. I don't know, I think that's incredibly rude :/

 

[Palpable]

People suck ass

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Started reading "Modern Romance" over the weekend (I listed it in my OKC profile, I can't lie about it) and in the Introduction, Ansari talks about getting ghosted by a girl. My first reaction was "see, it even happens to celebrities" and my second reaction was "he published a book and made money off this? Man I'm missing out."

 

[Fallout-NL]

Started reading "Modern Romance" over the weekend (I listed it in my OKC profile, I can't lie about it) and in the Introduction, Ansari talks about getting ghosted by a girl. My first reaction was "see, it even happens to celebrities" and my second reaction was "he published a book and made money off this? Man I'm missing out."

My last rodeo I thought about writing a book about my experiences multiple times.

 

[God Dayumm]

No idea what to add on my profile without sounding any more generic. Just have this:

Here's a bit about me you may like to know: I've live in Harrisburg for a couple years. Previous to that, I lived in Chihuahua my whole life. And yes, I had a chihuahua dog back home, and also cats; I love animals.

I enjoy learning new things and I'm open to trying almost anything at least once. I like reading, playing the guitar, and gaming, but above all that I most enjoy driving and taking a trip every now and then.

As more comes to mind I'll share it here, but feel free to ask me anything if you are interested.

Although that seems to be the average length of text on POF

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

A gorgeous Colombian girl matched with me. I may have rushed when I messaged her, like 15 minutes after matched, but most likely she wasn't that interested.

Btw, why do these women love taking pics of their legs when they're lying down?

 

[gaiages]

But this is literally "been conversing for a couple of weeks now, we seem to be talking well and are planning a meet up, gee I can't wait to meet!" and then in the middle of a conversation, they just stop talking. I don't know, I think that's incredibly rude :/

Yeah, that in particular is rude. If y'all have been talking for while, it's at least nice to be like "sorry bro I'm not feeling it anymore" or something.