She sent me a picture of her legs. I said "You keep calling me a pervert (it was an inside joke) but still send photos of your legs".
I won't lie, I'm feeling terrible right now, real sad.
She was an awesome girl.
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
She sent me a picture of her legs. I said "You keep calling me a pervert (it was an inside joke) but still send photos of your legs".
I won't lie, I'm feeling terrible right now, real sad.
She was an awesome girl.
Fallout-NL
Member
I honestly don't see what's so terrible about that.
That's also not what sexist is.
That's also not what sexist is.
Your date was tomorrow, yeah? She may have just been scared about transisitioning from online to physical. It happens.
Yes, date was tomorrow. She indeed said something along those lines. That meeting someone in person is not simple and didn't want to feel uncomfortable after the joke.
Sometimes I think I will be alone for the rest of my life. I have an okay body, an okay job and try to do interesting things. 26 already and never had a girlfriend, feels bad
Sometimes I think I will be alone for the rest of my life. I have an okay body, an okay job and try to do interesting things. 26 already and never had a girlfriend, feels bad
27 here and never had a girlfriend. I'm not missing much and don't envy friends that are taken. Had a casual fling a few months ago that ended after seeing the girl twice before she called it off. I don't see what's the marvel about wanting to have a girlfriend so quickly. My oldest brother and I don't feel pressured by my family (middle bro is married with 2 kids for reference) so we're happy being single and casually meeting women. As cliché as it sounds, when you don't go looking for one, you'll get one. Keep at it man.
And regarding the "sexist" joke, I've been in that situation before. Happened to me in the summer. I trolled a girl who I was supposed to meet off OKC that day. The context was that she lives in my neighborhood and goes to the same gym. When I revealed that I also attend the same gym and told her that I was behind her, she took it the joke badly that she said that was cruel when I told her I wasn't at the gym at but in another part of the city. She ended up cancelling our meeting by claiming that she was tired so I never met her and have never ran into her at the gym considering that she works out every single day.
So, just for fun I went trough a few pofiles with a Buddy of mine yesterday, when we found a girl who seemed pretty cool and fun, so I decided to write her a message, and got a reply a few minutes later.
We started writing, exchanged numbers, and currently we trying to find a date to meet up (I really work better when talking in person to people instead of trough screens).
I really hope this works out >.>
We started writing, exchanged numbers, and currently we trying to find a date to meet up (I really work better when talking in person to people instead of trough screens).
I really hope this works out >.>
1) This is a lesson to not overdo it with texting before you meet in-person
2) It may have been about the joke, or she simply had cold feet and used it as an excuse to bail
3) If you already have to walk over eggshells, perhaps the compatibility is just not there
4) 'Not so simple to meet in-person' is BS. How did people meet before the internet?
2) It may have been about the joke, or she simply had cold feet and used it as an excuse to bail
3) If you already have to walk over eggshells, perhaps the compatibility is just not there
4) 'Not so simple to meet in-person' is BS. How did people meet before the internet?
Vic you need to move on from this lady.
Don't text/message without meeting for two weeks.
Don't let people call you a pervert (unless you actually are being one, duh)
Don't be negative--be positive and confident in yourself.
So, so many people believe that having an SO is some kind of life goal they must achieve by X date, but that's not true at all. Plenty of people are happy not having an SO, or working on themselves for a while. Who cares when you start dating? It's really not a big deal.
Also, what you said isn't sexist at all? If she's the type to calls you names and sexist at the drop of a hat (and not in a sarcastic way), she doesn't seem like the type to build a healthy relationship with.
Yeah, don't sweat it. Who "needs some space" from chatting online? It's not like you two were going out for years and need a break. Sounds like a typical online dating flake. If someone's not willing to go out with you after two weeks, they're never going to. It'll be one excuse after another (too busy, too tired, want to get to know you more, etc etc).
Like gaiages said, don't spend weeks messaging on OKC. Get their number (yes, their phone number, don't bother with Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc) within a couple of days and set up at least a meetup for coffee/drinks shortly after that. The longer you are wishy-washy and don't be clear about what you want, the returns will diminish and you'll soon just be yet another internet friend.
Like gaiages said, don't spend weeks messaging on OKC. Get their number (yes, their phone number, don't bother with Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc) within a couple of days and set up at least a meetup for coffee/drinks shortly after that. The longer you are wishy-washy and don't be clear about what you want, the returns will diminish and you'll soon just be yet another internet friend.
I have a bit of a different problem i guess; i joined tinder today and after just a few swipes i found what i would consider a perfect match, looks wise and interests wise, just a ton of stuff that we share, so i was excited, but i didn't want to swipe "like" yet because i still had not taken a picture or filled my profile, so i left her profile open in the background.
When i went back to upload some pictures, something went crazy with the app and now i can't get in, it's asking for the phone recognition, but it just keeps giving me error, i've done some googling and i've found some people with the same problem and no one seems to have the definitive solution, some ideas are so crazy that i've started to accept the fact that i'm not going to get this to work any time soon, like this for example: https://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/2i5s0c/phone_verification_problems_i_fixed_it/
i've tried everything, just to get this fucking app to work, but to no avail.
But to my main point; i've actually seen this girl on facebook, i live in a small-ish town and i was just searching for people my age when i first joined facebook not too long ago, bumped into her profile, found her striking and the name just stuck with me (probably because she has a pretty unique name and the same last name as me) and now months later, to my surprise, i see her on tinder and get to know a bit more about her through her profile, something a simple facebook picture can't provide, and now i'd like to get to know her better.
so now i'm contemplating on contacting her on facebook, i don't really see any other alternative and i'm having thoughts about how this could be creepy (?) How i would go around to explain this situation to her without sounding like a loon? "tinder stopped working, but i found you on facebook blaalaa *enterwhat i would have said on tinder anyway in case we were matched*"
fuck tinder.
When i went back to upload some pictures, something went crazy with the app and now i can't get in, it's asking for the phone recognition, but it just keeps giving me error, i've done some googling and i've found some people with the same problem and no one seems to have the definitive solution, some ideas are so crazy that i've started to accept the fact that i'm not going to get this to work any time soon, like this for example: https://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/2i5s0c/phone_verification_problems_i_fixed_it/
i've tried everything, just to get this fucking app to work, but to no avail.
But to my main point; i've actually seen this girl on facebook, i live in a small-ish town and i was just searching for people my age when i first joined facebook not too long ago, bumped into her profile, found her striking and the name just stuck with me (probably because she has a pretty unique name and the same last name as me) and now months later, to my surprise, i see her on tinder and get to know a bit more about her through her profile, something a simple facebook picture can't provide, and now i'd like to get to know her better.
so now i'm contemplating on contacting her on facebook, i don't really see any other alternative and i'm having thoughts about how this could be creepy (?) How i would go around to explain this situation to her without sounding like a loon? "tinder stopped working, but i found you on facebook blaalaa *enterwhat i would have said on tinder anyway in case we were matched*"
fuck tinder.
Messaging someone on Facebook as your method of first contact is never a good idea. It's a bit creepy, no matter how you spin it. Saying "I saw you on Tinder, *insert excuse*, and then I found you on Facebook" is stalker behavior, and carries a high likelihood of scaring the girl off. That's if the girl even reads your message, as facebook will filter it into her "other" folder. She likely won't see it for weeks, if not months.
Doesn't work, it always gets stuck in the phonenumber part.
Even if i left out the whole tinder fuck up like the previous poster said?
I would personally never reply to a FB message from someone I never met.
Fallout-NL
Member
From a girl, I would. But the other way round almost never works.
I'd try GK86's suggestion, she'll come up again. It happened to Inifnity Patriot too, right?
Lucian Cat
Kissed a mod for a tag; liked it
Don't contact her on fb. I'd be creeped out if a guy hunted me down that way from a dating site. Is there anything you know about her so that you could maybe "bump into her" IRL? That's probably your best bet. Any mutual friends you could go through? Just yeah, don't go fb just yet.
She could be on OKC. Check that out.
Following up on this - her and I are going out again next Tuesday!
Do what these people said. Do NOT message her on Facebook. That'll scare her right the fuck off.
Your chances of her thinking "Aw that's sweet" are... 0.000001%
Fallout-NL
Member
Yup, at this point I'm pretty sure not even Brad Pitt could pull that shit off.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
I remember when a friend first noticed the "Other" folder. She copy-pasted creepy/thirsty messages from strangers.
I checked my folder. Nothing.
So yeah, don't do it.
I checked my folder. Nothing.
So yeah, don't do it.
BlitzEngineer
Member
Went on that "double" date tonight. Double in quotes because while her friends were rad, they only stuck around for like a half hour. We walked around a local museum that had been decorated for Christmas for hours and had flowing conversation the whole time. Was really refreshing to talk to someone without really having to try to fill dead air like my recent other dates have been.
At least, it was once she got comfortable. When we were with her friends she was kinda quiet, and clearly SUPER nervous. I got her alone for a few minutes when her friends got sidetracked and I could see she was sweating bullets. Honestly she looked how I felt when I first started dating way back when. I tried my best just to make her laugh as much as I could and by the time her friends left she seemed just fine.
She seems really self-conscious, and maybe a tad inexperienced. She's pretty but a bigger girl, which I don't mind one bit but it seems to bother her a ton. At the end of the night we were sitting by the docks and it felt right so I kissed her lightly, and at first she sort of froze up but then just started giggling like mad. It was adorable but I think I'm gonna have to move a little slow with this one.
At least, it was once she got comfortable. When we were with her friends she was kinda quiet, and clearly SUPER nervous. I got her alone for a few minutes when her friends got sidetracked and I could see she was sweating bullets. Honestly she looked how I felt when I first started dating way back when. I tried my best just to make her laugh as much as I could and by the time her friends left she seemed just fine.
She seems really self-conscious, and maybe a tad inexperienced. She's pretty but a bigger girl, which I don't mind one bit but it seems to bother her a ton. At the end of the night we were sitting by the docks and it felt right so I kissed her lightly, and at first she sort of froze up but then just started giggling like mad. It was adorable but I think I'm gonna have to move a little slow with this one.
twinturbo2
butthurt Heat fan
I'm just at this point extremely demotivated. It's just extremely frustrating that I can't get anything going while everyone else in this thread can get everything they wanted. Meanwhile, nothing is working for me and I'm thinking back to how many times I blew it trying to get something started with a girl I liked.
It's just fruitless. And I don't know what to do and if it's with it.
It's just fruitless. And I don't know what to do and if it's with it.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Why do only 30+ yr olds match me? :lol I'm mid 20s BTW.
You're in your mid 20's, but you probably look like you're in your late 30's?
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
I had been talking to this girl on Tinder for this past week and it was really late last night, I was hella drunk and she hit me up asking to come over. I did, she lived en route to my way home. I get there and she looks nothing like her pics. Smh. I was way to drunk anyway and I left.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Haha, I wasn't upset. Your guess is literally as good as mine. All of them are Asian so far. *shrug*
Heeeeeyyyy, AnimeGAF must be real jealous of you.
Fallout-NL
Member
Small update:
- Girl I met last week (where I kinda messed up) but did have another date setup with (for last sunday) cancelled because she went on an impromptu holiday to Barcelona. She's sending me pics and texts every day though - so I suppose there's still something there.
- Went out last night in Amsterdam, met this drop-dead-gorgeous Spanish girl that lives in Amsterdam. Was getting signals, though I've been wrong before (which was 4 weeks ago with that other Spanish girl coincidentally
, the one at the Destroyer concert). She's got my phone number, sent her an email. Will see. She seemed cool.
- Got a shitload of matches on Tinder in the last couple of days. Got a bunch of phone numbers and one actual date. Which is for tomorrow evening. Talking with her and setting it up was very straight forward. Love that. Can't wait to meet her tomorrow.
Having multiple things going at once really does help your confidence immensely. Though it's a lot of work talking to so many different people at once.
Also, nice going, BlitzEngineer and Jokab.
Twinturbo2, it sucks, but try not to let it get you down. Just keep at it, and don't let the negativity seep into your interactions with interested parties (they can smell that).
- Girl I met last week (where I kinda messed up) but did have another date setup with (for last sunday) cancelled because she went on an impromptu holiday to Barcelona. She's sending me pics and texts every day though - so I suppose there's still something there.
- Went out last night in Amsterdam, met this drop-dead-gorgeous Spanish girl that lives in Amsterdam. Was getting signals, though I've been wrong before (which was 4 weeks ago with that other Spanish girl coincidentally
, the one at the Destroyer concert). She's got my phone number, sent her an email. Will see. She seemed cool.- Got a shitload of matches on Tinder in the last couple of days. Got a bunch of phone numbers and one actual date. Which is for tomorrow evening. Talking with her and setting it up was very straight forward. Love that. Can't wait to meet her tomorrow.
Having multiple things going at once really does help your confidence immensely. Though it's a lot of work talking to so many different people at once.
Also, nice going, BlitzEngineer and Jokab.
Twinturbo2, it sucks, but try not to let it get you down. Just keep at it, and don't let the negativity seep into your interactions with interested parties (they can smell that).
Online dating isn't for everyone. For some, it might be better to try to meet people in real life scenarios.
That said, being extremely negative about it is not good for online dating. For starters, not everyone is having extreme success--most of us are going through the same problems as you, and those that are successful aren't coming in here to brag. Taking other people's good stories and spinning them in a 'woe is my my dating life sucks' manner is hurting no one but yourself.
TerminalDogma
Member
I'm a mostly silent reader of this and the Dating Thread, but I can tell you that it took a good half a year for me to find someone to start a relationship with via online dating. And it was a short lived relationship. I feel you on the demotivated end, there were many a weeks where I get fed up with online dating. Either no one would message me, or I'd have a convo going and then it would just die off. It can be very frustrating. Just stick with it, you'll find someone. And feel free to take a break from it from time to time. Give it a few weeks without checking in on OKC or swiping on Tinder, come back to it with a fresh and reinvigorated view.
Hell, speaking of getting frustrated, this past week I've been talking to a girl on Tinder. We set up a date for a slice of pizza for today. I text her on Tinder last night to confirm we are still good for the date, and we set up a time and a place. I wake up this morning and shes unmatched me. I was frustrated with it this morning, but the frustration quickly wore off. Why would I want to get to know someone who does that?
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Awkwaaaaaaaaaaaard
Yeah, I don't know anyone in either thread who has just been killing it. Plus if you want to be negative then anything can be bad. Some having dated 20 supermodels could be bad because why hasn't he been able to get one to such around during that time. People have very openly admitted having a graveyard of phone numbers and large amounts of failure while dating, online or not. I think there mindset is too much like when people think their life sucks because people only post exciting things on Facebook.
If online dating is frustrating you and is more trouble than it is worth, drop it.
OKC was just draining me and frustrating me earlier in the year. I closed my account. No point in being angry and especially not lashing out to others here. They are here to be your support and give you advice. Not to be your punching bag.
Everyone faces failure. From the person who has never talked or asked another person out, all the way to the person who oozes confidence. The main difference is how the person responds to the failure.
OKC was just draining me and frustrating me earlier in the year. I closed my account. No point in being angry and especially not lashing out to others here. They are here to be your support and give you advice. Not to be your punching bag.
Everyone faces failure. From the person who has never talked or asked another person out, all the way to the person who oozes confidence. The main difference is how the person responds to the failure.
twinturbo2
butthurt Heat fan
Think I'll just give it a rest for a couple of weeks and try again. Don't think I have any other options, so I might as well clear my mind a bit. Thanks, guys, for the advice.
Professor Chaos
Member
Hey guys. Need some advice about whether or not I should put that I'm an introvert on my online profile. I only ask because I think some people see the term negativley or that it implies that I'm shy or akward, which I'm not. What do we think?
Why would you chance putting something potentially negative in your profile? It doesn't really benefit you to do so.
Professor Chaos
Member
Maybe I shouldn't. There are other ways of showing it in my profile without flat out stating it.
Fallout-NL
Member
My main picture on Tinder could be an indication of said trait. Lets say it has a kind of melancholic quality to it
Professor Chaos
Member
Thanks for the advice guys. Subbed to the thread.