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[Fallout-NL]

Had my first date yesterday (not my very first one , but the first one after being single since this summer). Matched with this girl on Tinder. We talked freely on whatsapp for a couple of days before finally seeing each other yesterday, she had been sick for a while so we postponed a couple times.

Anyway, it was great. I totally fucked up, but it was great. I simply had not expected to like this girl as much. Which made me insecure. So after a bit of conversation where I did not feel like myself, I simply came out and said that I was pleasantly surprised / liked her and that made me act a little funny. She appreciated the honesty at least. Talking was easier after that.

Walked with her to her bike where she gave me this weird half kiss. To which I said (and fucked up even worse), 'Uh, if you want to kiss, that can be arranged.' She laughed and said that would maybe be a bad idea on account of her still being sick. I was like 'alright' and we said our slightly awkward goodbyes.

Watched her leave. Then called after her. She stopped. I said 'hey listen, if you're not really into this, it's quite alright' - but that I'm not normally this awkward. Something to that effect. She said 'come here' and gave me a bit more of an actual kiss that time. Which made me feel good enough to say with a bit more conviction that we should definitely see each other again.

We talked over whatsapp again this morning, so, that's something I guess. God, you'd think this actually was my first date. Literally never acted like this before.

 

[huxley00]

Haven't posted any updates in a while as I couldn't remember my GAF login info. No one may care about these updates, but I'm going to post them anyway.

So, this girl messaged me briefly about Black Mirror 3 weeks ago. We ended up exchanging texting information and spoke on the phone while she was out of town for the week.

When she came back, we went for a drink, went for an open mic night at a comedy show and then back to her place for some drinks and conversation. Ugh...we laughed so much and had such a great time. She is successful, independent, hard working and very caring...with a strangely dark sense of humor.

After we went on our first date, we both agreed we wanted to be exclusive. I broke it off with the three other people I was seeing (which was terrible, awkward and made me feel like garbage) and she broke it off with the other guys she was seeing.

Strangely enough, I was her only online date ever.

As of now, it's been about three weeks since first contact...we've gone out 4 times and everything is going really well. The sex is the best either of us has ever had (she, 30, me 34) and I can't decide if I like talking with her more or sleeping with her more.

So...well, we'll see what happens. I'm an adult and completely realistic but I've also never been so smitten in my entire life and I'm just going to roll with it.

OKC/Match is disabled and here we go....

 

[Fallout-NL]

Sounds pretty great. Hope it works out for the two of you.

 

[huxley00]

Sounds pretty great. Hope it works out for the two of you.

It sounds like you might be a bit smitten yourself. Maybe it's the weather or something? It seems like all our dating-gaf regulars are swooning lately. Perhaps girls just need something warm with the winter coming...dreary weather and lots of rain brings out the romantics in all of us.

 

[Lulubop]

It sounds like you might be a bit smitten yourself. Maybe it's the weather or something? It seems like all our dating-gaf regulars are swooning lately. Perhaps girls just need something warm with the winter coming...dreary weather and lots of rain brings out the romantics in all of us.

Good stuff to you, I hope it works out.

I had a similar feeling about a girl around the same amount of time ago. But then, I don't know. I just wasn't really feeling it. I guess I don't wanna be tied down, kinda. We got into a bit a few days ago and I think that's the end of that. I know months from now I'm going to think back and hate myself for fucking it up. Ah well.

 

[Fallout-NL]

It sounds like you might be a bit smitten yourself.

Definitely

Like no appetite and all that jazz.

Maybe it's the weather or something? It seems like all our dating-gaf regulars are swooning lately. Perhaps girls just need something warm with the winter coming...dreary weather and lots of rain brings out the romantics in all of us.

Good point, the ambiance certainly helps.

 

[TrAcEr_x90]

My girlfriend and I of 3 years are breaking up. She's already grabbed all her stuff so I am assuming its pretty final. What is the respectful amount of time before getting on these dating apps and websites? I was thinking I'd try out Tinder first.

 

[PSYGN]

My girlfriend and I of 3 years are breaking up. She's already grabbed all her stuff so I am assuming its pretty final. What is the respectful amount of time before getting on these dating apps and websites? I was thinking I'd try out Tinder first.

Depends on how fast you can recover or detach yourself from feeling anything about your ex. For some, dating helps with that, and for others it just reminds them of all the good qualities of your ex that you now miss more than ever. If you're already broken up with your gf I don't think it matters how soon you go back into dating.

 

[GK86]

My girlfriend and I of 3 years are breaking up. She's already grabbed all her stuff so I am assuming its pretty final. What is the respectful amount of time before getting on these dating apps and websites? I was thinking I'd try out Tinder first.

For me, it is less about being respectful to the other person, and more about making sure you are ready to date again. Take some time off to enjoy being single.

 

[TrAcEr_x90]

Well yeah. I am thinking I'll focus on myself and working out. But I might be down for the occasional hookup.

 

[electricshake]

Celebrating my 1 year anniversary with my boyfriend today gaf! We met on OKC and it's been amazing. Took me 2 and a half years (on and off) of online dating to meet him, but it was totally worth it. Don't give up hope guys!

 

[GtwoK]

What's the general consensus on messaging people you find on Match through facebook?

It's ridiculous to me that anyone would pay $40/month for this site, but for some reason there are still a large amount of people on there from my city, compared to OKC. However, because of this subscription wall, I can't actually TALK to them.

In my profile I listed my facebook URL, and told people to message me there. Not everyone has this though. Fortunately, I'm fairly good at tracking people down on facebook. Now, would messaging someone on Facebook after tracking them down from seeing them on a dating site where you can't message people freak that person out? I don't think it would if it were happening to me, but I may be looking at it wrong. Opinions?

 

[Jhoan]

What's the general consensus on messaging people you find on Match through facebook?

It's ridiculous to me that anyone would pay $40/month for this site, but for some reason there are still a large amount of people on there from my city, compared to OKC. However, because of this subscription wall, I can't actually TALK to them.

In my profile I listed my facebook URL, and told people to message me there. Not everyone has this though. Fortunately, I'm fairly good at tracking people down on facebook. Now, would messaging someone on Facebook after tracking them down from seeing them on a dating site where you can't message people freak that person out? I don't think it would if it were happening to me, but I may be looking at it wrong. Opinions?

I would advise against doing that because of three simple reasons:

• A. It is considered stalker-ish and your request will easily be deleted (read: they will get freaked out).
• B. Because your messages will only go to their Other folder which can be easily ignored. You should only do that if you go out on a couple of dates with the girl in question or end up becoming platonic friends.
• C. Most women will not make the first move of adding/messaging you (unless you're fairly good looking) so it's being a little bit unrealistic and they may be turned off by stuff they see on your FB profile depending on your settings. This varies by country of course since in some countries, women are most likely to initiate first. It also varies by person to person.

Otherwise, in my opinion/experience adding girls who you're interested in on Facebook is more of an afterthought. They have plenty of friends so it's not worth it. Besides Match usually has deals/discount codes out there any way if do some quick Google work (assuming you have extra cash to burn). I would say to bear it out and stick to OKC/other free online dating services in addition to try to meet women in person through events or volunteering.

 

[Fallout-NL]

Agreed, using Facebook for anything dating related is just doomed to failure. Don't do it.

 

[Salamando]

What's the general consensus on messaging people you find on Match through facebook?

It's ridiculous to me that anyone would pay $40/month for this site, but for some reason there are still a large amount of people on there from my city, compared to OKC. However, because of this subscription wall, I can't actually TALK to them.

In my profile I listed my facebook URL, and told people to message me there. Not everyone has this though. Fortunately, I'm fairly good at tracking people down on facebook. Now, would messaging someone on Facebook after tracking them down from seeing them on a dating site where you can't message people freak that person out? I don't think it would if it were happening to me, but I may be looking at it wrong. Opinions?

Yep, creepy. Girls on online dating sites are continuously on the defensive. You look someone up on Facebook, you're showing stalker-skills (which never goes well).

And expecting girls to message you first is an easy way to go thirsty. One girl I talked to in physical world said she'd never message someone first, since that would make her look desperate.

 

[Fallout-NL]

Still getting messages from the girl I met on Monday. Given the fact that she already knows I like her, what do I do here (for context)? Do I wait for her to propose another meet, or do I just not give a fuck and simply ask her at one point? Don't want to seem to eager, but pretending to not care while I wait for her to send another message is already getting really old .

I do have other dates lined up. But yeah, this girl seemed really cool, which is why the stakes are a little bit higher right now.

 

[GK86]

Dude...ask her out for this weekend.

 

[Fallout-NL]

Dude...ask her out for this weekend.

Alright, will give it a shot and report back.

 

[Fallout-NL]

Sweet, I'm seeing her this Sunday.

You my boy GK86.

 

[Palpable]

Nice going Fallout.

Matched with this girl on tinder many months ago. Had a short conversation, but it died down & she stopped talking to me. I ended up deleting my account for a few days & remaking. We matched again. I said "hi again" and she responded with "one more time...". I asked her what she meant by this, but never got a response. Ended up deleting & remaking my account again (for some reason, idk). Matched with her AGAIN yesterday. Sent her a message just now saying "3rd time's a charm?". I don't expect anything in return. Very odd.

 

[gaiages]

I would just suggest not remaking your account so often, Infinity.

 

[Palpable]

I would just suggest not remaking your account so often, Infinity.

Yeah, I dunno... I get bored with it I guess. D:

 

[Assanova]

What's the general consensus on messaging people you find on Match through facebook?

It's ridiculous to me that anyone would pay $40/month for this site, but for some reason there are still a large amount of people on there from my city, compared to OKC. However, because of this subscription wall, I can't actually TALK to them.

In my profile I listed my facebook URL, and told people to message me there. Not everyone has this though. Fortunately, I'm fairly good at tracking people down on facebook. Now, would messaging someone on Facebook after tracking them down from seeing them on a dating site where you can't message people freak that person out? I don't think it would if it were happening to me, but I may be looking at it wrong. Opinions?

Match is absolutely worth the cost of entry. I have met some amazing women on Match, especially when compared against POF. If you are going to go out on dates, then you shouldn't care about spending $40 bucks to find the right woman. Also, higher cost of entry = less competition from other men.

 

[Lulubop]

Still getting messages from the girl I met on Monday. Given the fact that she already knows I like her, what do I do here (for context)? Do I wait for her to propose another meet, or do I just not give a fuck and simply ask her at one point? Don't want to seem to eager, but pretending to not care while I wait for her to send another message is already getting really old .

I do have other dates lined up. But yeah, this girl seemed really cool, which is why the stakes are a little bit higher right now.

You should be setting up the next date on your date, if you guys are hitting it off anyway. Don't do that too cool thing.

I wanna try out bumble, too bad it's not on Droid.

 

[PSYGN]

Match is absolutely worth the cost of entry. I have met some amazing women on Match, especially when compared against POF. If you are going to go out on dates, then you shouldn't care about spending $40 bucks to find the right woman. Also, higher cost of entry = less competition from other men.

I wonder if there are studies about the average number of apps and sites women/men use for online dating at once.

 

[GtwoK]

And expecting girls to message you first is an easy way to go thirsty. One girl I talked to in physical world said she'd never message someone first, since that would make her look desperate.

I've been messaged by multiple girls on match. The problem is that I can't see who they are / what they said, because I haven't paid.

Match is absolutely worth the cost of entry. I have met some amazing women on Match, especially when compared against POF. If you are going to go out on dates, then you shouldn't care about spending $40 bucks to find the right woman. Also, higher cost of entry = less competition from other men.

You see, the issue is, it's not just a pay-and-everything-is-unlocked thing. I can pay, and I'll be able to see what I've been messaged, but everyone else won't be able to see what I message them. I have to be lucky enough to find someone I want to message, and then even luckier to hope that they are also paying (which is very unlikely).

 

[Fallout-NL]

You should be setting up the next date on your date, if you guys are hitting it off anyway. Don't do that too cool thing.

Yeah, if it goes well on Sunday, I'm definitely doing that.

Nice going Fallout.

Matched with this girl on tinder many months ago. Had a short conversation, but it died down & she stopped talking to me. I ended up deleting my account for a few days & remaking. We matched again. I said "hi again" and she responded with "one more time...". I asked her what she meant by this, but never got a response. Ended up deleting & remaking my account again (for some reason, idk). Matched with her AGAIN yesterday. Sent her a message just now saying "3rd time's a charm?". I don't expect anything in return. Very odd.

Yeah, thanks.

Interesting situation btw . If it were me, I would have responded to that '3rd time's the charm' message, that's funny as hell.

 

[Palpable]

Yeah, thanks.

Interesting situation btw . If it were me, I would have responded to that '3rd time's the charm' message, that's funny as hell.

She replied "exactly" and I responded with "Would you rather meet up so we can have awkward moments of silence in person, or should we just keep matching & not really doing anything beyond that?" and she says "I like the first option". So I said we should set something up and gave her my number. It was kinda late, so I don't expect to hear from her until tomorrow.

 

[Assanova]

I've been messaged by multiple girls on match. The problem is that I can't see who they are / what they said, because I haven't paid.



You see, the issue is, it's not just a pay-and-everything-is-unlocked thing. I can pay, and I'll be able to see what I've been messaged, but everyone else won't be able to see what I message them. I have to be lucky enough to find someone I want to message, and then even luckier to hope that they are also paying (which is very unlikely).

I never had problems contacting women, but then again, I only contacted women that showed some kind of interest first, and I think that in order for women to show interest or message you, they have to have a paid membership. If you are messaging a ton of women at random, then I think you are doing it wrong, or at least inefficiently.

 

[Fallout-NL]

She replied "exactly" and I responded with "Would you rather meet up so we can have awkward moments of silence in person, or should we just keep matching & not really doing anything beyond that?" and she says "I like the first option". So I said we should set something up and gave her my number. It was kinda late, so I don't expect to hear from her until tomorrow.

Most excellent

 

[Entropia]

Have a date lined up for Monday night with a girl from OkC! Hopefully she doesn't stand me up like the last one, haha!


Still 0 luck with Tinder. I need new photos but I've never had any real photo ops or anything.

 

[Jokab]

Huh. 19 year old matches with me on tinder and immediately asks me if I want to go clubbing with her and her girl friend, then tells me to add her Snapchat. Not a bot, I can tell. Unfortunately I had plans, but interesting proposition nevertheless. Also she is super hot. Dammit!

 

[Salamando]

What's the best way to deal with long-ish gaps between a first and second meet?

Got coffee with a girl tonight, and she's leaving Sunday for a week to visit family for Thanksgiving. Earliest possible next date would be week from Monday. Suggestions on maintaining interest? She was receptive to meeting when she gets back, and I don't want to screw it up by texting too much or too little. Or by reading too much into whether or not she starts conversations...

 

[Assanova]

What's the best way to deal with long-ish gaps between a first and second meet?

Got coffee with a girl tonight, and she's leaving Sunday for a week to visit family for Thanksgiving. Earliest possible next date would be week from Monday. Suggestions on maintaining interest? She was receptive to meeting when she gets back, and I don't want to screw it up by texting too much or too little. Or by reading too much into whether or not she starts conversations...

I think that if she really is the right girl, she will have no problem texting you a lot. I only see the current girl once every 1-2 weeks because of our busy schedules, but we texted each other all the time after our first date. It's one thing if the girl is not giving you responses or trying to push the conversation forward, but if she is returning your texts and moving the conversation along, then I say text her like you normally would.

 

[Fallout-NL]

Yeah the always connected thing is kind of a curse if you ask me. Girl I met on Monday (and am seeing again on Sunday) is a little less forthcoming with the texts than she was prior to meeting her, but she did have a busy schedule... Eh, fuck it, we'll see on Sunday. Will have to bring A game this time though.

As for a kind of 'rule' - I don't send another text for like 24 hours if my last one wasn't replied to. That's a double message though, so I'll do that just the once . Next time it's on her to pick it up while I just wait and start setting up dates with other parties.

 

[User 479360]

The three women I've been talking to for a while are wanting to meet soon. I made plans with one to meet this week, but wasn't feeling that well, so we're going to next week, and the other asked about tomorrow.

My depression has been bad, and I need to go out and get a haircut. I look like a homeless Chewbacca with overgrown facial hair. I can lie and say it's for Movember, and that I'm letting it grow for fun, but it's been depression, laziness and not wanting to go out.

Hopefully it'll click with one of them, because I'm lonely and do have a lot to offer. I dream about being able to experience what a relationship is like and having that person who I'm close with. I know I'd be a good boyfriend because I would listen and be there for said person.

I've also been talking to a few girls on PoF, but nothing too in-depth.

 

[Palpable]

The three women I've been talking to for a while are wanting to meet soon. I made plans with one to meet this week, but wasn't feeling that well, so we're going to next week, and the other asked about tomorrow.

My depression has been bad, and I need to go out and get a haircut. I look like a homeless Chewbacca with overgrown facial hair. I can lie and say it's for Movember, and that I'm letting it grow for fun, but it's been depression, laziness and not wanting to go out.

Hopefully it'll click with one of them, because I'm lonely and do have a lot to offer. I dream about being able to experience what a relationship is like and having that person who I'm close with. I know I'd be a good boyfriend because I would listen and be there for said person.

I've also been talking to a few girls on PoF, but nothing too in-depth.

You best pretend to be happy when you meet with them!

 

[Lulubop]

I need my Tinder plus back

 

[potam]

it's borderline insane to respond to an 8 month old message on tinder, right?

 

[Lulubop]

it's borderline insane to respond to an 8 month old message on tinder, right?

What's the worse than can happen?

Say I'm sorry, I fell asleep.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

Yeah, I dunno... I get bored with it I guess. D:

But why physically delete it? I'm sure everyone gets bored but you usually just stop using it instead of deleting everything.

 

[Jokab]

Kind of spontaneously meeting in an hour with a girl that I've been texting and snapchating with for like a month. She wanted to come to my place but I suggested to go for a walk instead. Not really comfortable going immediately to my place without having met before. We'll see how this goes.

 

[Fallout-NL]

Incredible, sometimes a girl will reply to a message I sent like 6 days ago. Be patient I guess.

 

[Jokab]

Turns out she is super cool! I think I might have told her before that I was 24 for some reason, because she was very surprised when I said I was 22 (she's 26). Didn't feel the age difference at all, we clicked really well. Excited to see her again.

 

[BlitzEngineer]

Weird experience today. I chatted with this girl on OKC for awhile about two weeks ago. She's pretty nerdy and we have a lot of the same sensibilities so it went well and after our second conversation I asked if I could have her number and real name. She says that's a bit much but asks if I have snapchat. We go ahead and exchange snaps but at this point given her reluctance I sorta forget about it since it probably isn't leading to anything. I went ahead and got some other girls snapchats and started taking mad pictures every time I cooked for the roommates. (I have no idea how to use snapchat other than to take pictures of food. Which seems to work lol)

Anyway time passes and like I said I forget about this girl until today I make Spaghetti Carbonara (inspired by Matser of None, great show by the way especially for modern single people) and she snaps me back asking if I like theme parks.

Long story short she comes out and asks me if I want to go to Busch Gardens next Sunday with her and a bunch of her friends. Straight up first time anybody has asked me out and not the other way around. Moral of the story start cooking and taking pictures of that shit fellas. I'm not even a good cook but I can follow a recipe and take a good photo.

We haven't gotten to the weird part though. I'm thinking just meeting up with her and a bunch of her friends puts me at a pretty serious disadvantage so I say I'm down but maybe we could meet up earlier in the week for something easier and more casual so I at least know her before going on a daytrip with a bunch of strangers (and to make sure we don't despise each other but I didn't say that).

So she seemed reluctant at first, believe it or not. I mean she understood where I was coming from but didn't really go for any of my ideas, until she asked if I wanted to double with her best friend and her boyfriend. So she seems cautious, I guess? I dunno how I feel about a double date really but it's an interesting one so I'm gonna take the shot.

Not really online related, but any experience with double dates? I need to meet new people in this city anyway so I guess it might be a good thing.

 

[dskillzhtown]

it's borderline insane to respond to an 8 month old message on tinder, right?

8 months is awhile but I a girl who I was matched with about 2 months ago messaged me for the first time recently and we have hit it off perfectly so far. In my book you have nothing to lose by messaging her.

So she seemed reluctant at first, believe it or not. I mean she understood where I was coming from but didn't really go for any of my ideas, until she asked if I wanted to double with her best friend and her boyfriend. So she seems cautious, I guess? I dunno how I feel about a double date really but it's an interesting one so I'm gonna take the shot.

Not really online related, but any experience with double dates? I need to meet new people in this city anyway so I guess it might be a good thing.

Seems that she is REALLY cautious or nervous about meeting anyone online. That is understandable, so go on the double date but honestly if things aren't going well don't be scared to bail out. It's really awkward meeting 3 people as opposed to meeting only 1. There are bound to be a bunch of inside jokes and conversations that will leave you puzzled.

 

[Fallout-NL]

Seems that she is REALLY cautious or nervous about meeting anyone online. That is understandable, so go on the double date but honestly if things aren't going well don't be scared to bail out. It's really awkward meeting 3 people as opposed to meeting only 1. There are bound to be a bunch of inside jokes and conversations that will leave you puzzled.

Cautious is exactly what it is. And yeah, maybe she had some bad experiences in the past. I would go for it to be honest. And maybe being able to sort of 'show of' your social skills in a small group is something you can really make work for you, (BlitzEngineer).

 

[Entropia]

Had a coffee date last night with a girl from OkC, I think it went well! Going to ask her if she would like to go out again!

 

[Vic_Bast]

I've been talking to this girl on OKC for 2 weeks. Yesterday I made a joke she didn't like and said it was sexist. I apologized a lot, it wasn't my intention.

She asked for some space and cancelled our date tomorrow. Guess I'm already dead, huh?

 

[Salamando]

I've been talking to this girl on OKC for 2 weeks. Yesterday I made a joke she didn't like and said it was sexist. I apologized a lot, it wasn't my intention.

She asked for some space and cancelled our date tomorrow. Guess I'm already dead, huh?

What was the joke?

But yeah, move on.