I'm a little curious about the reasoning behind this statement. I have heard people argue for and against this. My logic is if ladies are willing to be around a person, it must means he's not horrific around women.
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
I'm a little curious about the reasoning behind this statement. I have heard people argue for and against this. My logic is if ladies are willing to be around a person, it must means he's not horrific around women.
I went out with a woman on Saturday night. We were talking about our experiences with Tinder. She started mentioning things she hated that guys put in their profiles/used as pictures. Besides the usual (guy in a wifebeater/no shirt, gym shot, opening with a generic message), she mentioned she wouldn't swipe right if she saw the guy with another woman. Her thinking was that it makes you seem like a player.
I wouldn't be surprised if people think that having a woman in the shot, means you are attracted to that woman. The whole men/women can't be friends without someone catching feelings or wanting to fuck the others brains out.
You're a good looking dude. You shouldn't have any trouble.
For me, it's minimizing risk. If it isn't obvious that a girl in a pic isn't an ex (or worse, current) girlfriend, I don't use it. I've seen too many profiles mentioning a dislike for "pics of you and the ex" to even think about it.
Appreciate the feedback. The downside of having 75% female friends is the lack of diversity in my photos. Some of my best shots involve myself and a few women. I'll have to axe my lion cub picture now. When I reinstall Tinder, I'll keep this in mind when I choose pictures.
Fallout-NL
Member
Any tips for a sub par average black guy on OkCupid? I've picked this site up again a few day after aa little hiatus to keep the site fresh. I get bored with the site after a while because I sift through everyone and can't find anyone I like. A good chunk of girls I've seen on here are new as of now.
I get views, but I never get responses. When I send out my messages, I usually mention something about the profile and ask them a question. I don't know. I'm not sure if it's the profile pictures or what. I haven't added any photos since I've lost a good chunk of weight. I'm still over weight, but I'm pretty strong and confident as a person. My photos are mixed up pretty well. Some funny shots, a generic selfie, me drifting a car and an artsy shot my friend took of me that sums me up well.
Also, here's my profile text:
Feel free to add any criticism, I can take it.
Also, for pics, what kind should I take or get taken - also, for those who are more seasoned at online dating, can I see your profiles for example?
Thanks 👍
I get views, but I never get responses. When I send out my messages, I usually mention something about the profile and ask them a question. I don't know. I'm not sure if it's the profile pictures or what. I haven't added any photos since I've lost a good chunk of weight. I'm still over weight, but I'm pretty strong and confident as a person. My photos are mixed up pretty well. Some funny shots, a generic selfie, me drifting a car and an artsy shot my friend took of me that sums me up well.
Also, here's my profile text:
"I am majoring in Graphic Design and I am passively studying French.
I travel a-lot. I am rarely in California on the weekends. (I've been on a plane every month of this year, so far.) I love the outdoors and extreme weather 👌
I'm generally focused on school, so my personal project(s) are on the back burner.
Automotive photography is something that I am very much interested in. Considering that, I am putting together a portfolio of my automotive photo work to eventually open up a company.
Really, I just want to stay creative as it keeps my mind busy.
If things go right, I will go for my masters.
What I'm good at:
Cooking, driving, art related junk, being on time.
I read books frequently, but I don't think I have any favorites, as of now. It turns out that I'm very bad at choosing them.
Music is very important to me. I listen to any genre introduced to me (exclude country).
I listen to lots of Indie Rock/Rock, some hip hop, drum and bass, and lots more.
Here are some faves:
Bloc Party (My absolute favorite.)
Los Campesinos!
The Kings Dead
Skizzy Mars
Wolfmother
Uyama Hiroto
Moby
The Radio Dept.
Oasis
Unwritten Law
Cooking is something that I love to do. I usually like wraps, sandwiches with tons of spinach or noodles and veggies. My steak is something that tastes otherworldly. I also like to make dumplingsp
What I can't live without:
A camera
My iPod Classic/currently fixing
Camping bags
The ability to explore
Writing paper/pens & pencils
Water
You should message me if: you want to grab coffee or tea and talk about random things
Feel free to add any criticism, I can take it.
Also, for pics, what kind should I take or get taken - also, for those who are more seasoned at online dating, can I see your profiles for example?
Thanks 👍
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
you forgot allot
Fallout-NL
Member
Started using Tinder for the first time last night. Goddamn there's a lot of users on this thing. Must've swiped for hours (till like 3.30 in the morning) with no end in sight.
Two matches when I woke up though.
/edit: three now. Yeah alright, this seems to work.
But now I'm tired
Well, as a guy I fucking love that.
Two matches when I woke up though.
/edit: three now. Yeah alright, this seems to work.
But now I'm tired
Well, as a guy I fucking love that
.I told someone else this: if you are still a student, then outside of tinder, you probably want to focus on building your social circle and getting women that way. There are not a lot of younger women on online dating websites, at least not in my area. Most decently attractive women under 25 are meeting men by socializing. Maybe I missed it in your profile, but men without careers are going to have a very difficult time competing with men who have them, in the online dating realm.
With that being said, I would work twice as hard to get in shape. As a minority, if you can get yourself to be just slightly above average in the looks department, and you seem like you have your stuff together, you will absolutely be swimming in women, especially if you are black.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Profile tips:
-no negativity. Don't say you don't do something, you can't do something, etc. Like a resume, don't sell yourself short. Remove the fact your personal projects are on the back burner, and the favourite books.
-show, don't tell. You list a lot of interesting hobbies and interests, but it's just a list. You like to travel. Where did you spend last weekend? Did you lose your luggage in Morocco? Don't reveal everything (have to leave some mystery for a date and messages) but expand on some things. Why learn French? Do you want to visit Paris and re-enact scenes from The DaVinci Code? Find a washroom without making culturally inappropriate hand gestures?
Fallout-NL
Member
Alright, got a first date set-up for this Friday!
Have to say... I vastly prefer Tinder over this other site I used a couple of years ago. Writing those stupid messages without even being sure of a small degree of mutual interest was a waste of time. Now I've got 6 matches in 24 hours. Haven't really had time to talk to them all. That a problem Assanova? shouldn't leave them without a message too long probably?
Have to say... I vastly prefer Tinder over this other site I used a couple of years ago. Writing those stupid messages without even being sure of a small degree of mutual interest was a waste of time. Now I've got 6 matches in 24 hours. Haven't really had time to talk to them all. That a problem Assanova? shouldn't leave them without a message too long probably?
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Holy shit I haven't had a match in like probably 4 days. I mean I've been on a couple of dates already and there are other girls I've matched I haven't messaged, but this is kinda pathetic....
Yeah? Well how do you think I feel then
Haha. I wouldn't know. I was never a Tinder user.
If you run into a dry spell, it is time to rethink your profile or switch dating websites. With Match, on a bad week, I would have at least one date. I'm not saying that you should get the rush of interest from women that you get when you first join a site, but one date per week is reasonable, I think.
Definitely. No one wants to spend money buying a gift for someone they barely even like.
Ha-ha, it's probably one of my favorite pictures of me. I'm in the car with the wheel full lock trying to get it back.Well, as a guy I fucking love that
I've come to notice that what you have said is really truthful. In the Bay Area of California, there are many girls that are looking for guys with degrees and don't want to go down the ladder of social status by dating a guy who hasn't received their degree or acquired a great career.
The majority of girls on OkCupid past 22 have received their degree and state in the profile immediately that they have gotten it.
In person, I feel like I have a better shot at taking or catching the attention of women. I just can't hold a chance to many people on online dating. I'm still going to keep my profile on there, but I'll try and look into Tinder despite the fact that I hate how it's perceived as a hook up app.
In regards of my weight, I'm trying and people definitely can tell that I work out. Ever since I started going to the gym in February, I've been feeling better and better physically and mentally. It is hard since I've lost around 35lbs, so in order for me to lose more weight, I'll have to cut more and more calories, which I haven't been doing well
It's either it's too long or too short. I guess I'm approaching this a bit too strong. There are so many things that I'm passionate about, but I do see where I can cut out. I just hate being vague.
If you all have any other things to say, don't hesitate to tell me, I'm open to all criticisms. As of now, I'm going to head off to work on my profile, find some better pics, de-fluff my details and make it a less is more type look.
I'll post parts that I've cut out once I am done. Thanks!
User 479360
Banned
A girl from OKC that I've been talking to for a while recently messaged me a little while after I'd messaged her back, apologizing for not replying much because she's been apathetic about dating. She still wants to meet to see if there's anything between us, so I said okay.
She messaged me back since.
Then tonight, after having a few drinks, she contacted me again. I guess that's a good sign.
She messaged me back since.
Then tonight, after having a few drinks, she contacted me again. I guess that's a good sign.
So Tinder removed moments D:, but also removed showing the last time someone used it
Last active is gone? I'm not updating hah.
Fallout-NL
Member
Yeah, really looking forward to this date on friday, so feels kinda weird being on it every now and then. Though I probably don't need to feel as bad as you
.True Savior
Member
Yup. I usually just delete the girls from my Tinder , but I still receveid a bunch of comments "hey did you deleted me ? ".
Now they just need to ditch the whole distance thing after the match. Nobody needs to know where I am.
Moments were completely irrelevant.
Same thing, tho I'm a fan of moments
True Savior
Member
Flamite (for chrome) still allows to check the last time someone was active.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Tinder updated? I still see moments and last activity. How do you update tinder?
Same way you update any phone app, I would assume.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Not sure how to do that with my iPhone. Don't see an option.
For those asking about the new Tinder update, it just rolled out (or will roll out some time today) and includes a host of features including being able to list your occupation and educational background. A few quotes:
Source: http://www.wired.com/2015/11/tinder...-and-adds-smart-profiles/?mbid=social_twitter
And I saw another article on Yahoo called I Quit Online Dating. I've only skimmed through it but basically in a nutshell, the reason why the author quit online dating was because she felt overwhelmed from using a ton of dating service and she questions what happened to meeting people in social situations. It goes on to talk about the pros/cons about online dating and gives advice. Give it read folks.
Source: http://www.wired.com/2015/11/tinder...-and-adds-smart-profiles/?mbid=social_twitter
And I saw another article on Yahoo called I Quit Online Dating. I've only skimmed through it but basically in a nutshell, the reason why the author quit online dating was because she felt overwhelmed from using a ton of dating service and she questions what happened to meeting people in social situations. It goes on to talk about the pros/cons about online dating and gives advice. Give it read folks.
Exchanged a few messages on OkCupid with a girl over the weekend and scheduled a date for tonight. Texted her when I was near the place we were meeting and then about 30 minutes after waiting there for her. No response to either text and she obviously didn't show up. Feels bad man.
Do I even bother with ya "hey sorry we missed each other, want to reschedule?"
Do I even bother with ya "hey sorry we missed each other, want to reschedule?"
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Honestly, I would never bother. If she can't reach out after that then why should you?
She stood you up and you wanna be polite? Wut
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
So I'm not photogenic at all. Like, AT ALL. I really hate it when people try and take pics of me. I have a crooked nose that happened at a basketball game I had back in 2004. My smile is decent when my teeth is expose, but I have a slight crooked tooth that's next to one of my front two teeth. Other than that, they're white and decently straight.
Also, for being 6'1, I have a small head. On the other hand I at least have a decent jawline for having a small head. So that's why I hate my picture being taken, because from a distance, everything looks out of proportion. It takes a lot of selfies for me to get a good pic. Forgive my crappy so called beard:
I'm thinking about using that pic since I'm smiling, or I'll try and grab another pic in my car with me smiling in natural lighting. Here's my current profile pic, and yes, I know profile pic is the first pic girls see:
http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l300/JackBau3r/untitled_zps724b988e.png
Since I'm also muscular, I have a couple of shirtless pics, and a pic of my dog smiling and being happy as always.
My profile has changed a few times, but my current profile to summarise:
-Political Science grad without the science involved
-Work in sales
-Lifting weights is a big part of my life. It'd be great to have a lifting partner!
-Eating boring, healthy foods, but occassionally I go out to eat with friends
-I love being outdoors and doing new things all the time
-Craft beer and cocktails
-I've lived in Holland and drove through Germany. I'm hoping to travel to Europe again soon
-My puggle Bella is probably cooler than most dogs
-Laughing!
-I'm 6'1
P.S. I invented the turtleck.
So that's it. I really don't have any pics of me out with people, because I go out maybe a few times a month with people.
Also, for being 6'1, I have a small head. On the other hand I at least have a decent jawline for having a small head. So that's why I hate my picture being taken, because from a distance, everything looks out of proportion. It takes a lot of selfies for me to get a good pic. Forgive my crappy so called beard:
I'm thinking about using that pic since I'm smiling, or I'll try and grab another pic in my car with me smiling in natural lighting. Here's my current profile pic, and yes, I know profile pic is the first pic girls see:
http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l300/JackBau3r/untitled_zps724b988e.png
Since I'm also muscular, I have a couple of shirtless pics, and a pic of my dog smiling and being happy as always.
My profile has changed a few times, but my current profile to summarise:
-Political Science grad without the science involved
-Work in sales
-Lifting weights is a big part of my life. It'd be great to have a lifting partner!
-Eating boring, healthy foods, but occassionally I go out to eat with friends
-I love being outdoors and doing new things all the time
-Craft beer and cocktails
-I've lived in Holland and drove through Germany. I'm hoping to travel to Europe again soon
-My puggle Bella is probably cooler than most dogs
-Laughing!
-I'm 6'1
P.S. I invented the turtleck.
So that's it. I really don't have any pics of me out with people, because I go out maybe a few times a month with people.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Yeah, I know, though I have been getting a lot of matches with some pretty decent looking women with that pic. I already changed it to the first pic, and I'll get rid of the second.
EDIT-I noticed the second pic in my profile was edited with removed blemishes and better lighting. That picture really is awful, even if it was cleaned up for my Tinder profile. I'm going to leave it as a link for people to click on. Ugh.
EDIT-I noticed the second pic in my profile was edited with removed blemishes and better lighting. That picture really is awful, even if it was cleaned up for my Tinder profile. I'm going to leave it as a link for people to click on. Ugh.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Okay, I since four days without a match, finally got one and beaut. A pretty fine brunette, too.
Amazing what changing your profile pic to a more impressional one can do.
EDIT-And another one. Thank fucking Christ I'm getting matches again.
Amazing what changing your profile pic to a more impressional one can do.
EDIT-And another one. Thank fucking Christ I'm getting matches again.
It's how I am.
I shot her a text. If I don't get a response then oh well, I'll move on.
I think the girl I went out with last week messed with my perceptions of dating, 'cause it's causing doubts in the girl I went out with tonight.
Last week's girl fell crazy fast - willing to take things to the bed during second date, text messaging me lots, wanted me to meet her friends for the third date. This week's girl prefers a slower pace. First date ended with a handshake, second date with a hug, and she doesn't start text convos first. But the dates themselves are awesome. We can make each other laugh without effort, the conversation just flows, and I genuinely enjoy her company. It's just that disparity is messing with my head.
I have no idea how people are capable of dating multiple people at once. Maybe that takes a lot more experience than I have.
Last week's girl fell crazy fast - willing to take things to the bed during second date, text messaging me lots, wanted me to meet her friends for the third date. This week's girl prefers a slower pace. First date ended with a handshake, second date with a hug, and she doesn't start text convos first. But the dates themselves are awesome. We can make each other laugh without effort, the conversation just flows, and I genuinely enjoy her company. It's just that disparity is messing with my head.
I have no idea how people are capable of dating multiple people at once. Maybe that takes a lot more experience than I have.
The real message you're sending her is that she can totally disrespect your time without even a simple apology, and you'll still be nice to her. Tread carefully.
True Savior
Member
Just go to the app store and check in the updates tab.
Or Tinder will have some kind of popup about it.
My advice is always the same. Change the photos. If you start to get more matches , its a great time to start over again with that one in the profile.
bananafactory
Banned
Just started using Tinder today, spent a good hour going through before realizing I mixed up the swipe directions, so i was swiping left for people I liked and right for those I didn't. Woops
Anyways I'm back on track now and went through a bunch more but I don't really understand how it works. Do you get notified when someone likes you, and then decide whether to like them back? Or is it all just random?
Seems like there's a shitload of people on here so I wonder what the odds are of actually getting a match with someone if we both have to like each others page
Anyways I'm back on track now and went through a bunch more but I don't really understand how it works. Do you get notified when someone likes you, and then decide whether to like them back? Or is it all just random?
Seems like there's a shitload of people on here so I wonder what the odds are of actually getting a match with someone if we both have to like each others page
True Savior
Member
You get a match when you liked a person and she liked you back (or vice versa). And you dont know if that person liked you or not (although there's some ways to know). If she super liked you (the blue like button) , the profile will show a blue edge and an information that the person liked you.
Loads of people , just means more people that will be able to see your profile and more chances to match with someone. And new users tend to get prioritized. Odds are naturally at stake, but having good photos is the only important thing.
Blackquill
Member
Yeah got 19 matches on one night on Tinder ! Yeah...
All of them are fake account trying to make me subscribe to there garbage site -_-
All of them are fake account trying to make me subscribe to there garbage site -_-