"Next month" doesn't sound too promising.
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
"Next month" doesn't sound too promising.
Yeah, I don't have my hopes up. Told her I understood, it is the Holiday season and to text me if/when she's less busy... I'll leave it at that.
I managed to line up a date with another girl though!
Fallout-NL
Member
That's the spirit 
My date tonight was a success. Really cute girl. We talked for nearly 4 hours. I was also a lot more at ease than last time. Which I was thankful for makes things a lot easier. We both said we wanted to hang out again soon. So we'll see.
My date tonight was a success. Really cute girl. We talked for nearly 4 hours. I was also a lot more at ease than last time. Which I was thankful for
makes things a lot easier. We both said we wanted to hang out again soon. So we'll see.Going out with this girl whom I think is too young for me (she just turned 20. I'm 25). She called me and asked if it was okay to pick her up since her mom will be using her car. I hesitantly said yes. It's very odd. She seems very mature, but at the same time she doesn't. She seems very smart, but she's into all that cute ditzy anime scene (she's Asian). I dunno what to expect. Most of her pictures are a few years old, too. She said she doesn't like taking pictures of herself. I saw a recent one and she does look very similar to how she does in her old pictures. Also, she's very forward and asks all sorts of questions that people don't normally ask. Oh well, time to wing it :/
User 479360
Banned
So, a while ago I mentioned that I'd been talking to a girl who has depression like myself, and had been doing so on OKC for 6-8 months.
Well, we finally met the other day. She agreed to meet, then pushed for it and made sure we did before she started her new job.
I think it went really well, but I haven't heard from her much since, except for her to ask if I made it home safely. I thanked her for meeting and she said, "You're welcome," which probably isn't a good sign.
I pushed myself to be social and thought I did a really good job. I made her laugh, I bought her a coffee, I feigned interest when she told me all about anime, etc. We met in a bookstore.
Hopefully I didn't make a bad impression because I think there's some potential there, but who knows.
Well, we finally met the other day. She agreed to meet, then pushed for it and made sure we did before she started her new job.
I think it went really well, but I haven't heard from her much since, except for her to ask if I made it home safely. I thanked her for meeting and she said, "You're welcome," which probably isn't a good sign.
I pushed myself to be social and thought I did a really good job. I made her laugh, I bought her a coffee, I feigned interest when she told me all about anime, etc. We met in a bookstore.
Hopefully I didn't make a bad impression because I think there's some potential there, but who knows.
BlitzEngineer
Member
I think you should try anything that has promise personally. Even if it's a bad date, no connection ect. it's not like it's really that bad. When I'm unsure about someone but they are willing to meet I just try not to overthink it, dive in and swim. It helps that I enjoy meeting new people generally and don't consider it a total loss to just get to know someone without it ever going somewhere.
That said, I've learned about myself that I don't think I can really date people under 22 anymore. I'm only 23 (basically 24) and I tell myself it's only a few years difference but the truth is the difference in maturity can be staggering between someone who's 20 and someone who's 22, I've found. I'm sure there are exceptions.
Yeah, depends on the person. This girl turned out to be very cool and quite pretty, though the age thing does worry me. She is very straight forward. We spent all evening together and she thought I was really funny. She straight up asked me (via text afterwords) if I liked her, was attracted to her, and wanted to be exclusive.
Fallout-NL
Member
Why are you getting so hung up on a couple of years? Unless she seems very immature, it's probably not going to be an issue, right? At least, I've been with women both younger and older than me (4 years difference). Never really noticed it.
That's certainly different
dskillzhtown
keep your strippers out of my American football
I know I am late, but glad to hear it went well. First dates can be quite the wild card. Sounds like you had a good time and spent time, not money, lol.
I had a first date over the weekend myself. I actually met her on Tinder. We went to an upscale sports bar and things were going great. Then a band started up which kind of killed the mood because it became almost impossible to talk. But overall it was a good night and we already have plans for this week. She also seemed a bit self-conscious and much more reserved than our phone convos and texts. I wasn't sure if she was feeling me or not but she made it clear afterwards that she was. Good stuff.
In comparison, I went out with another girl a couple of weeks ago. I met her on Match months ago. We texted and emailed, but never went out. Well, we went out and had a good time but I noticed that her time was severely limited. There would be these gaps in time between my texts and calls. Many times I wouldn't get a response until the next day. So I figured she was playing the field and I was just one of her suitors. That is fine, but no one wants to FEEL like that is the case, right? Well, I pretty much stopped contacting her after the date because her response/availability times got no better. So now guess who is texting/calling me daily? Funny how that works, but I have lost interest.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Don't get hung up on age. In some cases it can affect a relationship but when you're just getting to know each other it's not too irrelevant. "Maturity" is subjective.
Did she start her new job yet? Message her in a couple days and ask her how it's going.
Did she start her new job yet? Message her in a couple days and ask her how it's going.
Fallout-NL
Member
Sounds like a dream
I have a feeling that would have very little success.
Only reason I'm iffy about the age thing is because of what everyone said in those breakup threads I made a year ago (not sure if anyone remembers [I hope no one remembers]). My ex is 4 1/2 years younger than me, and this girl that I've been hanging out with is 5 1/2 years younger. I understand that maturity is relative, but my ex came off as very mature. This other girl is very similar to my ex in many ways.
It has been over a year since my bad breakup, so I figure it's time to try a serious relationship. This girl talks about sex and it's quite clear she wants to fuck, but I told her we should take things slow & easy. Mainly in terms of how 'serious' any sort of relationship we have gets. I only say that because of how burnt I got from the last relationship. My ex moved fast. She had a ring on her left ring finger from me (didn't realize it'd go on that finger...) only 3 months in and she started bringing up marriage soon after. I didn't mind at the time because the more we were together, the more I felt for her. But in the end I got crushed, so now I'm being very cautious. Even this girl says she moves fast, but I told her my view on that and she understands.
It has been over a year since my bad breakup, so I figure it's time to try a serious relationship. This girl talks about sex and it's quite clear she wants to fuck, but I told her we should take things slow & easy. Mainly in terms of how 'serious' any sort of relationship we have gets. I only say that because of how burnt I got from the last relationship. My ex moved fast. She had a ring on her left ring finger from me (didn't realize it'd go on that finger...) only 3 months in and she started bringing up marriage soon after. I didn't mind at the time because the more we were together, the more I felt for her. But in the end I got crushed, so now I'm being very cautious. Even this girl says she moves fast, but I told her my view on that and she understands.
I want to try but it's not on droid
ohhthegore
Member
Ok finally time to jump on the Tinder bandwagon. I signed up 2 days ago and have about a dozen matches but I'm not sure the best way to break the ice? A lot of profiles say shit like "please don't just say hey" or some shit. A few of the girls messaged me first so that was nice
Make a joke/comment from something you spotted in one of their photos (assuming they aren't boring selfie pics).
Make a joke/comment from something in their profile (assuming it isn't empty).
If those two fail, use a cheesy pick up line (hey, ready for my best opening line? _________) or a out-of-left-field type of question (robots vs dinos, who wins?).
Make a joke/comment from something in their profile (assuming it isn't empty).
If those two fail, use a cheesy pick up line (hey, ready for my best opening line? _________) or a out-of-left-field type of question (robots vs dinos, who wins?).
ohhthegore
Member
thanks those sound like good ideas. I had a girl earlier message me with Hey and I responded back with Hey
. I then messaged her Red Vines or Twizzlers? and then she deleted her message lol. I'm honestly just using this thing for hook upselectricshake
Member
thanks those sound like good ideas. I had a girl earlier message me with Hey and I responded back with Hey
Which I'm sure you'll have no problem with, you're good looking which is like 90% of the battle.
Fallout-NL
Member
Another update:
- So I saw the insanely gorgeous Spanish girl again today. At first I thought we were just meeting because I was buying one the tshirts she sells (she's an artist, does the shirts for some extra cash), but then the meetup suddenly graduated to coffee as well. Met her today, made sure I parked my badass motorcycle right in front of the cafe where we met and - I couldn't believe it - she actually seemed nervous. It was nice, talked for about 45 minutes and then we both had to go back to work and other stuff. I'm invited to her birthday next week, which is interesting since I just met this girl last week.
- Had a first date last Sunday with this girl that lives a bit closer to me. We planned another date for this Sunday. Really looking forward to it. As always, the one thing that bugs me about that period of time between two dates, I'm never sure whether to keep contacting her every now and then, or just cool it entirely... She seemed into it enough last time I saw her. Think I'm just going to have faith in that and send her one more thing this Saturday (wishing her a good time at her family's place where she's going that night) and just leave it at that. Unless she contacts me.
- Also talked to a few other women. One of them I had a conversation with like a day or 10 ago. She contacted me yesterday whether I was still interested in a date. Meeting her coming Tuesday. And there's two more girls (one of them a pretty successful singer actually) it also looks like I'm going to meet with.
So yeah, stuff seems to be happening. Think it really helps that I'm much more laid back now than my last round of heavy dating (three years ago).
This girl seems to have fallen off the radar. Haven't heard from her in a couple of days now. Though I have also made no attempts to contact her. I feel that she should ask for another meet since she cancelled the last one.
- So I saw the insanely gorgeous Spanish girl again today. At first I thought we were just meeting because I was buying one the tshirts she sells (she's an artist, does the shirts for some extra cash), but then the meetup suddenly graduated to coffee as well. Met her today, made sure I parked my badass motorcycle right in front of the cafe where we met and - I couldn't believe it - she actually seemed nervous. It was nice, talked for about 45 minutes and then we both had to go back to work and other stuff. I'm invited to her birthday next week, which is interesting since I just met this girl last week.
- Had a first date last Sunday with this girl that lives a bit closer to me. We planned another date for this Sunday. Really looking forward to it. As always, the one thing that bugs me about that period of time between two dates, I'm never sure whether to keep contacting her every now and then, or just cool it entirely... She seemed into it enough last time I saw her. Think I'm just going to have faith in that and send her one more thing this Saturday (wishing her a good time at her family's place where she's going that night) and just leave it at that. Unless she contacts me.
- Also talked to a few other women. One of them I had a conversation with like a day or 10 ago. She contacted me yesterday whether I was still interested in a date. Meeting her coming Tuesday. And there's two more girls (one of them a pretty successful singer actually) it also looks like I'm going to meet with.
So yeah, stuff seems to be happening. Think it really helps that I'm much more laid back now than my last round of heavy dating (three years ago).
This girl seems to have fallen off the radar. Haven't heard from her in a couple of days now. Though I have also made no attempts to contact her. I feel that she should ask for another meet since she cancelled the last one.
If SHE cancelled the last one, then it's on her to set up a new one.
The thing about you parking your badass motorcycle up front; I'll tell you this right now - anything that you think might impress her (material things) don't flaunt them. You want her to like you for YOU, not cool shit you have.
The thing about you parking your badass motorcycle up front; I'll tell you this right now - anything that you think might impress her (material things) don't flaunt them. You want her to like you for YOU, not cool shit you have.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Anyone have experience with a girl in an open relationship? Matched with one on tinder. Also, there's a pic of her on a red carpet at what looks to be an adult video award show.
Obviously I wouldn't look for a relationship or at least a long term relationship, but the chances of a threesome intices me.
But she is a human being, which id treat her as one.
Obviously I wouldn't look for a relationship or at least a long term relationship, but the chances of a threesome intices me.
But she is a human being, which id treat her as one.
I don't.
But I'll say, it all depends what you are looking for and what she's looking for as part of her open relationship. She's in a polygamous relationship so you need to know and be alright with where the line is in terms of your monogamy and their polygamy.
Fallout-NL
Member
For sure, though I don't really care whether she does so or not. Other options seem to have more potential right now.
Actually talked to a woman about this two weeks ago. One of her exes had a bike. While at first she never gave that much thought, actually seeing him on the bike, she said that was quite sexy.
So I took my chances
. Also, this is the girl that is so incredibly beautiful that not really believing in it actually makes me very relaxed towards the whole situation. Also means I'm perfectly fine with not stressing out about taking the bike or not. Just doing what I feel like. Plus, parking with a car sucks in Amsterdam.Normally I would agree with you though. Wouldn't have introduced my owning multiple bikes until much further down the line. Now though, I'm like fuck it, this is awesome whatever ends up happening, haha.
In an open relationship, usually people sleep around (polyamorus, spelling's off but hey) or have actual relationships with (polygamous) with more than one person. The former tends to be more often (I think...?), and a relationship I've been in.
The thing about those relationships is that there are rules, and they must be followed, or else the trust in the relationship is ruined. In my relationship, it's essentially "no fucking friends, it's only sex/no romance, and you let the other person know about it". If those rules were to be broken (like if say I fell in love with a fuck buddy and didn't do something to change the situation, whether that would be breaking off the current relationship or possibly transitioning to a monogamous relationship), then it'd be breaking the trust of the relationship and can be seen akin to cheating.
Anyway.
Looking at an open relationship and just looking at the chance of a threesome... well, it's possible I guess, but I wouldn't get your hopes up. Anecdotal of course, but I don't see many open relationships having threesomes/orgies with all their partners at once.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Well, she's done porn. Just searched her name.
Oh... well then.
Good luck, bro
Maybe a threesome is in your future after all(did you make sure this isn't a bot account?)
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
I'm quite sure she's not a bot. She moved to my city.
And one of her videos I saw was pretty classy and well shot.
And one of her videos I saw was pretty classy and well shot.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
I messaged her a little over two hours ago. No response, and within that time frame, she changed her profile, so she probably read my message, which I opened up with a joke.
Maaaan, I was so close, GAF. I probably could've licked her butthole.
Oh well, I have a date tonight with a nice classy woman.
Maaaan, I was so close, GAF. I probably could've licked her butthole.
Oh well, I have a date tonight with a nice classy woman.
Professor Chaos
Member
OK guys, I want to make a Tinder account but don't have Facebook. Any tips on making a 'fake' Facebook account? And by fake I don't mean deceptive, I just don't want to be found by people I know IRL.
I haven't created a FB account since my initial one, so I don't know what has changed in the creation process. But...
Put your real first name, put a fake last name (tinder doesn't show your last name). Put random details in there if FB prompts you for it.
When you are done creating it, create a private album (in the album settings, click private, only you will be able to see this). Upload pictures to that album. Tinder will have access to that album, so take your photos from it.
Done.
Put your real first name, put a fake last name (tinder doesn't show your last name). Put random details in there if FB prompts you for it.
When you are done creating it, create a private album (in the album settings, click private, only you will be able to see this). Upload pictures to that album. Tinder will have access to that album, so take your photos from it.
Done.
Don't use your real last name, set up a new email just for use with this Facebook account, and don't use pictures that can be reverse Google Image Searched to your real Facebook account?
Professor Chaos
Member
Thanks guys, going to get on it.
Fallout-NL
Member
Man, do you guys get these nerves as bad as I do before a date? It usually clears right up as soon as I sit down with the person, but the hour before it's as if I'm waiting to parachute into Normandy or something, christ.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
i get a lot of anxiety in the lead up to a date, yeah. it doesnt help at all, so it kind of makes me not want to really do anymore with online dating. it also doesn't help that i havent connected with anyone at all yet, so it feels futile and essentially i just torture myself.
ohhthegore
Member
haha thanks, I'm only 5'7 though which sucks. There's a lot of tall girls on Tinder
bro you can't leave us hanging
ohhthegore
Member
been trying it the past 2 days, got like 4 connections and one girl started messaging me. Seems like an OK app but the 24 hour thing is fucking stupid. It's already made itself unique by making the girl message first, no reason to stick a timer on it too
Fallout-NL
Member
Well I deleted all my dating profiles. After spending some time with this girl, who really likes me btw, I've realized a relationship isn't right for me just yet. Thinking back to how horribly bad my ex hurt me with the breakup, I don't want to invest that sort of time in someone else like I did my ex and have something similar happen. It damaged me far too much. This girl and I have slept together twice. I told her my viewpoint and why I don't want a relationship. She was quite disappointed. After some conversation, she decided she doesn't mind staying friends with me and would like a 'fwb' thing. I don't mind that. I've never had a fwb before, and she has a rockin' body, so whatever.
electricshake
Member
Yup I used to get super nervous, worrying about if he would like me or not. Then I changed my thinking to assuming, or planning for me not liking him. That means if I did like him it was a pleasant surprise. I also found it was easier the more I dated.
Haha well I think I'm an outlier but I'd take 5'7 over 6'+ any day. My bf is like 5'8 or 9 and that's perfect. I'm only 5'4 though.
Seems like I've successfully established a FWB relationship with this awesome (and banging hot) girl, at least for now. I think she's great and we have fun, but I'm not sure if I want a proper relationship with her right now. Our "dates" right now are essentially meet at one of our places, watch a movie, drink wine, and then jump into bed and stay the night, so I don't really see it as a relationship per se. No idea how she feels (I'm prepared if the subject comes up though, which I'm sure it will).
In any case, I never thought I'd get to this point when I started online dating in January this year, when I was still a virgin and awkward around girls, especially 1on1. Even if what I really want in the end is a relationship, I definitely see landing a FWB as a huge improvement and some kind of measure of success.
In any case, I never thought I'd get to this point when I started online dating in January this year, when I was still a virgin and awkward around girls, especially 1on1. Even if what I really want in the end is a relationship, I definitely see landing a FWB as a huge improvement and some kind of measure of success.
Already feel like taking a break with OkCupid. I'm not exactly in a large city and there are a few women out there, but I've already messaged/interacted with the ones that I am interested in.
May take a break until the new year and see if there's any new women on there that catch my eye.
May take a break until the new year and see if there's any new women on there that catch my eye.
ohhthegore
Member
holy crap I totally got ghosted on saturday. This girl message me on Tinder like a week ago and things were going great. She seemed like she was head over heels for me always talking about how into me she is an everything. We had planned a date for saturday and then on thursday she asked if I could come over and I told her I couldn't and that I would make it up to her on our date. Friday morning she hits me with a good morning text and after that she totally stop answering any of my texts and I had to take a different girl out instead.
thestopsign
Member
I have gotten two dates from Bumble in the last month compared to two meetups from Tinder in the last two years. Bumble is way more effective as the girl actually has to have interest in you. The girls that use it are also mostly stunningly hot as it has been marketed to college crowds so far. It has its drawbacks, but I enjoy it.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
She never replied back to my message.
You think it's alright if I give her name in this thread? I'm not even sure if it's her real name. Sounds like a porno name.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Good call.
BlitzEngineer
Member
Girl sent me a like today and I started chatting with her for a few hours once I got off work. Music is a big deal to me and when I asked her to name some bands she gave me a huge list all of which are pretty much my favorite indie artists. SHe even knows a bunch of local acts which is rad. It was so nice talking to someone about music who has similar tastes, which I really haven't done since I moved down here. I was really feeling it so I went ahead and asked her if she wanted to grab a coffee sometime and got her number.
Of course I'm working 10 hour shifts for the next five days but hopefully I can hold her attention until I can set up a coffee date.
Hopefully I can meet someone before New Years. Not knowing anybody on that day of all days kinda sucks. Being in FL now I don't get that cold-weather advantage anymore around the holidays although I suppose people generally don't want to be alone regardless of the weather.
Of course I'm working 10 hour shifts for the next five days but hopefully I can hold her attention until I can set up a coffee date.
Hopefully I can meet someone before New Years. Not knowing anybody on that day of all days kinda sucks. Being in FL now I don't get that cold-weather advantage anymore around the holidays although I suppose people generally don't want to be alone regardless of the weather.