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[Ensirius]

Here's my update on my Tinder experience so far.

I have had many matches, both at home and when traveling. I have actually lost insterest on many of them, as they all seemed like very dull uninteresting women without any sort of ambiton in life. That puts me off so very much.
And then I got a match with this french girl who cam to my country as an intern to learn spanish. We hit it off well, it helps a ton that I speak french, and she loves that. We talked for a couple of weeks, and she insisted very much on seeing each other. I am a busy guy lately, so I had to decline a couple of times.
Flashforward to last weekend, 3 weeks after our match. She asks me how my day was, I her all about it and ask how was her day. She tells me has a massage done to her, and that it was great. Conversation is more or less like this:

Me: I would die for a massage right now. With a happy ending of course.
Her: Let me give one to you.
Me: Happy ending included?
Her:
Me: Now I cannot wait to see you.
Her: I cannot wait to see you since the first day I met you.
Me: send me a pic of you. Early Christmas present
Her: Have you been kind?
Me: Yes yes, very very kind.

She then proceeds to send me a pic of her in her red underwear. I ask for MOAR.
She sends me full nudes.

Me: My God... Don't stop.
Her: I need some from you

We exchange pics, one hotter than the other. And well, that goes where expected.

Following day, she is at it again. Saying she loves what we did yesterday. I say she is ill (she was actually sick with a soar throat), she needs rest. She stars poking at me... I ask her for a pic. And well, we go the same path we did the day before. She tells me even when she is sick she wants me.

And while I am writing this she is poking me again.

Now this girl is hot as f, and I cannot wait to have some alone time with her, but I feel that's gonna be that. Nothing serious. I will be meeting her next week as I have a trip coming up now. We are sure as hell going to go for it first date as we have talked about it already.

My report on Tinder.

EDIT: Ok, she just suggested we should do a threesome with her friend who is coming from Lille...

 

[gaiages]

Stealth brag?

Honestly though, it sounds like you're too busy for an actual serious relationship. You've been unable to see this woman for multiple weeks (despite the incentive)? Are you always that busy?

But hey when you are available have fun with that

 

[Ensirius]

Stealth brag?

Honestly though, it sounds like you're too busy for an actual serious relationship. You've been unable to see this woman for multiple weeks (despite the incentive)? Are you always that busy?

But hey when you are available have fun with that

If anything it's me saying I have only been able to get one out of a lot of matches. So I am a failure.

A girl that suggest threesomes is NOT a keeper, right?

 

[gaiages]

If anything it's me saying I have only been able to get one out of a lot of matches. So I am a failure.

A girl that suggest threesomes is NOT a keeper, right?

No, I mean... you seemed interested in this girl from the get go (before the risque pictures) but had to cancel on seeing her a few times and not seeing her for a couple weeks. For most that would show non-interest, but obviously you were interested... so that's what I meant by saying you seem too busy to date. Relationships require time and effort.

And besides, a girl can be kinky and still make a good romantic partner.

 

[Ensirius]

No, I mean... you seemed interested in this girl from the get go (before the risque pictures) but had to cancel on seeing her a few times and not seeing her for a couple weeks. For most that would show non-interest, but obviously you were interested... so that's what I meant by saying you seem too busy to date. Relationships require time and effort.

And besides, a girl can be kinky and still make a good romantic partner.

I have been busy with work related stuff lately, but things are going for the better now so I will be able to lay off on the work and spend more personal time.

 

[gaiages]

I have been busy with work related stuff lately, but things are going for the better now so I will be able to lay off on the work and spend more personal time.

Oh, okay, that's cool. Carry on then, good funny-looking Batman sir.

 

[Fallout-NL]

See this woman asap, Delibes.

 

[War Peaceman]

If anything it's me saying I have only been able to get one out of a lot of matches. So I am a failure.

A girl that suggest threesomes is NOT a keeper, right?

??????


What the hell is wrong with you?

 

[Lulubop]

I haven't been on a date a minute due to be broke, and now finally back to work. I work the graveyard shift, so it's hard to schedule but I still haven't gotten my first check anyway. All that said I have two potential dates this week, one in particular I'm pretty excited about. Tinder has been alright, but I'd still like a sub. I'm thinking about resetting it again and grabbing a sub, we'll see.

I definitely have some kind of addiction to first dates and seeing how it goes and how far it can go.

 

[davepoobond]

How much work does a paid service like match or whatever take compared to pof and okcupid? I'm asking more about how much I have to spam hundreds of people that may or may not be inactive.

I don't think I'm going to get much of a result on on the free front after all of this time.

 

[ohhthegore]

??????


What the hell is wrong with you?

lol mayhe he's looking for true love and not a fuckfest


I'd go with the threesome myself

 

[Ensirius]

See this woman asap, Delibes.

??????


What the hell is wrong with you?

We are having a date next week. No worries about that.

lol mayhe he's looking for true love and not a fuckfest


I'd go with the threesome myself

We decided we had to know each other sexually before going and adding a threesome into the mix.
She refused to do it with a girl she knows because of bad experiences in the past.

 

[Fallout-NL]

Had another first date last night, but despite all sorts of similarities in terms of history and interests (sometimes rather remarkable ones) I wasn't really feeling it. Think probably she felt the same way because we said our goodbyes and haven't contacted each other after that.

It's fine though, cause I had a second date with a girl last Sunday where we ended up kissing when I took her back to her place (she invited me up). First part of the evening I had invited her for dinner to my apartment. Wasn't really sure what would happen until we got to her place, but she made the move once we were there, which was great. Funny how you can finally relax after that happens. I really liked how she just went for it, it was awesome.

Seeing her again tonight. Can't wait.

This girl seems to have fallen off the radar. Haven't heard from her in a couple of days now. Though I have also made no attempts to contact her. I feel that she should ask for another meet since she cancelled the last one.

If SHE cancelled the last one, then it's on her to set up a new one.

So yeah, you play it cool long enough and that does work. This girl started messaging me again after a week. Asking about 'the radio silence'. I told her I simply had been busy (not that I felt it was on her to contact me again, which is what I really thought, but kept that to myself). Talked on and off for about another week and then she asked me when we were going to have another drink. Feels good.

Though uh yeah, kinda wondering how I feel about this and what is generally accepted as ok in this situation. I like both girls, have kissed one. Is it ok to see where it goes with the other girl? Kinda feel, you know, just a little bit bad about it already, or is that not necessary when it's still 'just dating'?

 

[Llyranor]

They are seeing other people too. You're not exclusive until you're exclusive.

 

[Fallout-NL]

They are seeing other people too. You're not exclusive until you're exclusive.

Hehe, always to the point. Thanks!

 

[gwailo]

How much work does a paid service like match or whatever take compared to pof and okcupid? I'm asking more about how much I have to spam hundreds of people that may or may not be inactive.

I don't think I'm going to get much of a result on on the free front after all of this time.

There tends to be less flakes, as in people will actually go out on the dates instead of ghosting or coming up with BS excuses ("I need to get to know you more"). I think a lot of people on the free sites will never actually go out on dates, whether they're just looking to see what's out there, going for quick self esteem boosts, fine with online chat "friends", already in a relationship, etc etc. Plus women on free sites, especially anyone that's halfway decent looking, get bombarded with dozens (if not hundreds) of messages a day so it's hard to stand out from the crowd.

 

[ohhthegore]

Is it weird to go on a date with a girl who's 19 if I'm 27? :-/

 

[Lulubop]

Is it weird to go on a date with a girl who's 19 if I'm 27? :-/

Nah bruh, I'm the same age as you and have gone quite a few dates with 18-21 year olds. Most, if not all aren't looking for anything serious, so it's a win-win. For me anyway.

Got flaked on. Nice.

 

[The Wall]

If anything it's me saying I have only been able to get one out of a lot of matches. So I am a failure.

A girl that suggest threesomes is NOT a keeper, right?

It's highly unlikely they're looking to have something on that level if that's what she's suggested before you've even met.

 

[ohhthegore]

Nah bruh, I'm the same age as you and have gone quite a few dates with 18-21 year olds. Most, if not all aren't looking for anything serious, so it's a win-win. For me anyway.

Got flaked on. Nice.

yeah I'm not looking for anything serious what so ever. Just weird not being able to go to a club or a bar ya know. Also weird picking them up from their parents house and shit

 

[Lulubop]

yeah I'm not looking for anything serious what so ever. Just weird not being able to go to a club or a bar ya know. Also weird picking them up from their parents house and shit

Ah I see. I live in NYC, so there's a ton of young chicks coming from all over the world to go to school. So it's much easier since there's more to do, and they're out on there own.

 

[Ensirius]

It's highly unlikely they're looking to have something on that level if that's what she's suggested before you've even met.

Yeah that was my impression.
We are going on our first date next week so I will keep you all posted.

 

[Fallout-NL]

It's fine though, cause I had a second date with a girl last Sunday where we ended up kissing when I took her back to her place (she invited me up). First part of the evening I had invited her for dinner to my apartment. Wasn't really sure what would happen until we got to her place, but she made the move once we were there, which was great. Funny how you can finally relax after that happens. I really liked how she just went for it, it was awesome.

Seeing her again tonight. Can't wait.

She spent the night last night. She slept in my Giant Bomb tshirt. My search may already be at an end.

Gonna have to cancel on the other girl I think. Had an appointment for tonight, but that wouldn't feel right.

 

[gaiages]

She spent the night last night. She slept in my Giant Bomb tshirt. My search may already be at an end.

Gonna have to cancel on the other girl I think. Had an appointment for tonight, but that wouldn't feel right.

An... appointment?

Also remember, it's not exclusive until the two of you say it is

 

[Jokab]

Okay so weird question time, and I might have fucked up here, pretty badly.

Background (I realize this will sound like a swinger's club - it isn't. Just that some of us have had sex with eachother lol): I am in this chat group with like ten active members, half girls half guys. Sometimes pictures are posted. Most of us live in the same city but have never met, we just chat and have fun. There are lots of other people in the group but they're never active, so everyone conceals their identity as far as possible.

Anyway so I hit it off with one of the girls in this group, which I have chronicled earlier in this thread. We met up and eventually slept together, a few times now. The initial premise was just to hook up, but I have started falling for her (I said only like a week ago in this thread that I had established an FWB relationship with her, but I realize I want more than that). We've never been on a real date so to speak, other than the first time we met when we went for a walk. I'm planning on asking her out on a proper one.

Come last night, I had been at a party but bowed out a bit earlier and got home quite drunk. Other girl in the group writes that also she is going home from a party now, her tram will pass by my place. She asks in PM to come up, and I say yes. She spends the night. I'm just really regretting the decision right now, because if I want to take this further with the first girl it feels like I can't not tell her about the second one since they know of eachother (they've never met). I asked second girl to keep this quiet and she will, but still. Do I tell first girl, whom I am interested in dating, but am not really dating properly?

Yes I realize I fucked up here. Being drunk is not an excuse. I think the reason why I did it is because I'm quite inexperienced and I wanted to see what a one night stand was like, sort of? (conclusion: that shit sucks when you don't click well with the girl, which I didn't) I'm just worried that first girl will see it as a betrayal (in lack of better word) even though we've not established any rules, we're not in a relationship - we've just sleeping together a few times. While it's not strictly her business to know who I sleep with, if I keep it from her it will just make me feel shitty since the two girls know of eachother.

 

[Lulubop]

First date in a bit last night with this Filipino girl from Queens and it went really well, I dig her quite a bit. I feel bad though because I slipped out of my best friends' surprise Birthday party to go meet her.

We met up later than intended (all my fault), at this bar/dance kinda place not to far from me, but that she frequents. We were both pretty buzzed and it didn't take long into our dancing before we were making out. We spent the rest of the night wandering the lower east side of Manhattan. I'm pretty sure I could have asked her to come over but I didn't because of my living situation. I feel like not being that aggressive may be a knock against me. She won't be free for two weeks, but I'm really hoping to see her again.

 

[gaiages]

Okay so weird question time, and I might have fucked up here, pretty badly.

Background (I realize this will sound like a swinger's club - it isn't. Just that some of us have had sex with eachother lol): I am in this chat group with like ten active members, half girls half guys. Sometimes pictures are posted. Most of us live in the same city but have never met, we just chat and have fun. There are lots of other people in the group but they're never active, so everyone conceals their identity as far as possible.

Anyway so I hit it off with one of the girls in this group, which I have chronicled earlier in this thread. We met up and eventually slept together, a few times now. The initial premise was just to hook up, but I have started falling for her (I said only like a week ago in this thread that I had established an FWB relationship with her, but I realize I want more than that). We've never been on a real date so to speak, other than the first time we met when we went for a walk. I'm planning on asking her out on a proper one.

Come last night, I had been at a party but bowed out a bit earlier and got home quite drunk. Other girl in the group writes that also she is going home from a party now, her tram will pass by my place. She asks in PM to come up, and I say yes. She spends the night. I'm just really regretting the decision right now, because if I want to take this further with the first girl it feels like I can't not tell her about the second one since they know of eachother (they've never met). I asked second girl to keep this quiet and she will, but still. Do I tell first girl, whom I am interested in dating, but am not really dating properly?

Yes I realize I fucked up here. Being drunk is not an excuse. I think the reason why I did it is because I'm quite inexperienced and I wanted to see what a one night stand was like, sort of? (conclusion: that shit sucks when you don't click well with the girl, which I didn't) I'm just worried that first girl will see it as a betrayal (in lack of better word) even though we've not established any rules, we're not in a relationship - we've just sleeping together a few times. While it's not strictly her business to know who I sleep with, if I keep it from her it will just make me feel shitty since the two girls know of eachother.

Even if it's someone you wanted to date, you're not dating now, you're FWB. I mean, there's no problem with sleeping with someone else in that case. You're not in a relationship, you're not even dating the girl. And... if it's a group that members sometimes hook up and have sex, why exactly would she be mad that you did just that? They haven't even met in real life--so internet friends at most.

I don't see how you've fucked up at all?

 

[Jokab]

Even if it's someone you wanted to date, you're not dating now, you're FWB. I mean, there's no problem with sleeping with someone else in that case. You're not in a relationship, you're not even dating the girl. And... if it's a group that members sometimes hook up and have sex, why exactly would she be mad that you did just that? They haven't even met in real life--so internet friends at most.

I don't see how you've fucked up at all?

It just feels like I've done something wrong. Do you suggest I don't tell first girl about it?

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

It just feels like I've done something wrong. Do you suggest I don't tell first girl about it?

Don't tell her about it. At the moment, both of you owe each other nothing. Your feelings of guilt, in this case, are irrational. You did nothing wrong.

In any case, the absolute farthest you should mention (unless you start completely sharing your sexual histories for some odd reason) is that you've been out with other girls (and yes, say "been out with") but you felt like there was more potential with the girl you like. You don't need to hide what happened, but don't volunteer it either.

 

[Jokab]

Don't tell her about it. At the moment, both of you owe each other nothing. Your feelings of guilt, in this case, are irrational. You did nothing wrong.

In any case, the absolute farthest you should mention (unless you start completely sharing your sexual histories for some odd reason) is that you've been out with other girls (and yes, say "been out with") but you felt like there was more potential with the girl you like. You don't need to hide what happened, but don't volunteer it either.

Yes, I suppose this might be true. Thanks to both you and gaiages.

 

[BlitzEngineer]

Man, I'm so bad at letting the girl take the initiative. The girl I've been seeing (a few pages back, always wanted to meet with her friends present, super nervous, inexperienced but really sweet) didn't take me up on a dinner date because she was busy with finals week. I took some advice here and told her no biggie and that after she was done with school we could celebrate and left it at that. Really only sent her one or two random snapchats since then, telling myself if she's interested she'll follow up. Been talking to others in the meantime.

But it sucks because right now I have quite a bit of downtime at my work (service industtry in FL slows way down close to Christmas when all the snowbirds go back up to their families it seems) so I'm just fiddling with my phone and see her on FB celebrating with her friends, her snapchats and all sorts of stuff that reminds me she's not really busy anymore but hasn't gotten back to me. She had one up on her story today "SO bored " and I'm like shit lady if you're bored I can entertain you just follow up! I'm just gonna keep waiting and talking to other people but it's just kind of rough. I'd rather not be alone on New Years Eve if I can help it and I felt like even her friends really liked me.

In the meantime, had a really awesome conversation with another girl about local music, tons of "we should go see them! They're cool!", so I'm thinking a meetup is a sure thing and ask if she wants to get coffee sometime. She agrees and sends me her number and snapchat right away. I shoot her a text that it was nice chatting with her and that I'll talk to her tomorrow about specifics, then fall asleep.

Didn't text her back until a day later, and when I do I get an automessage back saying the number is a land-line, which didn't happen for the first text. Kinda weird, but I just wait a bit, try again and same thing. So I send her a chat on snapchat to see whats up and she reads it but never gets back to me. Two days pass and her OKC profile is deactivated. Guess I'll just delete the number. Shame cause she seemed really chill and was actually in my town which is a rarity. To find people my age I usually have to drive a half hour at least. Oh well.

 

[User 479360]

I've been sending out a lot of messages as of late, and have had a few replies. I have a hard time thinking of creative things to say in messages, but have been trying, although I have sent a few too many, "Hey. How's it going?" or, "Hi. How are you?" messages.

I have been talking to one girl, though, who texted me tonight after a few days of radio silence. She apologized and said she was sick, and slept a lot this weekend.

I had discovered her profile and sent her a message. I got a quick reply, or what I thought was a reply, but I guess she'd looked at my profile and liked it/the pictures of my cats and had sent a message at the same time. She ended up sending a few, then we talked back and forth for a bit before she asked if we could just text because she had a good feeling about things.

Anyways, I asked her if she would be up for doing something soon when I was talking to her tonight, and she said absolutely. She also said she's quite shy, and that she hopes that won't come off poorly, and that she's worried about eating when she meets new people in case she chews too loudly or spills something.

I told her not to worry, and that I'll be even more nervous and she has nothing to worry about with me.

She's cute, though, if her two pictures are real, and out of my league.

 

[Llyranor]

Anyways, I asked her if she would be up for doing something soon when I was talking to her tonight, and she said absolutely. She also said she's quite shy, and that she hopes that won't come off poorly, and that she's worried about eating when she meets new people in case she chews too loudly or spills something.

I told her not to worry, and that I'll be even more nervous and she has nothing to worry about with me.

She's cute, though, if her two pictures are real, and out of my league.

1) 'doing something soon' is too vague. Be specific. Pick something not involving food.

2) Why tell her you'd be more nervous? I know you're trying to make her more comfortable, but don't do it at your expense. Tell her that you're easygoing or that you like shy girls. Don't freebie negative traits.

3) She's talking to you and agreeing on a date (but you need to sort out the details of that date, and call it a date). You're fine. Why are you talking about league? Why are you building up this idea in your head that she's better than you? This doesn't help you at all.

Man, I'm so bad at letting the girl take the initiative. The girl I've been seeing (a few pages back, always wanted to meet with her friends present, super nervous, inexperienced but really sweet) didn't take me up on a dinner date because she was busy with finals week. I took some advice here and told her no biggie and that after she was done with school we could celebrate and left it at that. Really only sent her one or two random snapchats since then, telling myself if she's interested she'll follow up. Been talking to others in the meantime.

But it sucks because right now I have quite a bit of downtime at my work (service industtry in FL slows way down close to Christmas when all the snowbirds go back up to their families it seems) so I'm just fiddling with my phone and see her on FB celebrating with her friends, her snapchats and all sorts of stuff that reminds me she's not really busy anymore but hasn't gotten back to me. She had one up on her story today "SO bored " and I'm like shit lady if you're bored I can entertain you just follow up! I'm just gonna keep waiting and talking to other people but it's just kind of rough. I'd rather not be alone on New Years Eve if I can help it and I felt like even her friends really liked me.

In the meantime, had a really awesome conversation with another girl about local music, tons of "we should go see them! They're cool!", so I'm thinking a meetup is a sure thing and ask if she wants to get coffee sometime. She agrees and sends me her number and snapchat right away. I shoot her a text that it was nice chatting with her and that I'll talk to her tomorrow about specifics, then fall asleep.

Didn't text her back until a day later, and when I do I get an automessage back saying the number is a land-line, which didn't happen for the first text. Kinda weird, but I just wait a bit, try again and same thing. So I send her a chat on snapchat to see whats up and she reads it but never gets back to me. Two days pass and her OKC profile is deactivated. Guess I'll just delete the number. Shame cause she seemed really chill and was actually in my town which is a rarity. To find people my age I usually have to drive a half hour at least. Oh well.

Is snapchat how people communicate with romantic interests now?

For the first girl, if she says she's busy but you see that she actually isn't, it might just be her way to turning you down. If she's interested in you, she shouldn't just outright forget you exist. You *could* (but don't have to) do one last attempt to reach out. Propose a date with a specific idea/place/day(s), but don't be wishy-washy if you reinitiate contact.

 

[Salamando]

Man, I'm so bad at letting the girl take the initiative. The girl I've been seeing (a few pages back, always wanted to meet with her friends present, super nervous, inexperienced but really sweet) didn't take me up on a dinner date because she was busy with finals week. I took some advice here and told her no biggie and that after she was done with school we could celebrate and left it at that. Really only sent her one or two random snapchats since then, telling myself if she's interested she'll follow up. Been talking to others in the meantime.

But it sucks because right now I have quite a bit of downtime at my work (service industtry in FL slows way down close to Christmas when all the snowbirds go back up to their families it seems) so I'm just fiddling with my phone and see her on FB celebrating with her friends, her snapchats and all sorts of stuff that reminds me she's not really busy anymore but hasn't gotten back to me. She had one up on her story today "SO bored " and I'm like shit lady if you're bored I can entertain you just follow up! I'm just gonna keep waiting and talking to other people but it's just kind of rough. I'd rather not be alone on New Years Eve if I can help it and I felt like even her friends really liked me.

You were hoping a girl who is "super nervous" and "inexperienced" would take the initiative? And you've been maintaining minimal contact since? This was a girl who was so nervous for the first date that her friends had to come along, and you're expecting her to just text you "hey, exams are over. How about that celebration you promised " That was not a cunning plan.

If you're interested in seeing her again, ask her out, with actual plans. If she declines again, then you know she's out and can completely move on.

And saying "If she's interested, she'll follow up" goes both ways. While you think she's not interested because she's not sending you anything, she might be thinking the exact same thing regarding you.

 

[Palpable]

This girl that I've had a fwb thing with... I kinda don't wanna do that anymore. I always end up feeling like shit afterwords. I guess I'm the type of dude that can only be with someone I actually care about, not some random.

 

[Fallout-NL]

An... appointment?

You know: 'an agreement to meet with someone at a particular time.'

Also remember, it's not exclusive until the two of you say it is

Yeah, I hear you. And part of me certainly regrets not being able to get to know the other girl better. I'm definitely not 100% sure about the other girl I'm going to continue with either, seen her like 5 times now maybe? So yeah, you don't really know each other all that well, all I know is that I want to spend time with her. I'll remain cautious, but at least it does feel like it might be going somewhere.

 

[User 479360]

1) 'doing something soon' is too vague. Be specific. Pick something not involving food.

2) Why tell her you'd be more nervous? I know you're trying to make her more comfortable, but don't do it at your expense. Tell her that you're easygoing or that you like shy girls. Don't freebie negative traits.

3) She's talking to you and agreeing on a date (but you need to sort out the details of that date, and call it a date). You're fine. Why are you talking about league? Why are you building up this idea in your head that she's better than you? This doesn't help you at all.

You're 100% right

I'm just bad at this, and have low self-esteem. I was trying to make her feel better, too.

"Don't worry, I'll be more nervous. You have nothing to worry about."

 

[gaiages]

You're 100% right

I'm just bad at this, and have low self-esteem. I was trying to make her feel better, too.

"Don't worry, I'll be more nervous. You have nothing to worry about."

Well showing your low self-esteem and negativity on your sleeve isn't a good look, and you've been told this many times in the thread. Be more positive! everyone has good points, play those up instead of the bad stuff.

 

[User 479360]

Well showing your low self-esteem and negativity on your sleeve isn't a good look, and you've been told this many times in the thread. Be more positive! everyone has good points, play those up instead of the bad stuff.

I know. I must seem like an idiot.

I have a hard time thinking of things to say, and sometimes choose the wrong things. It's likely why a lot of my conversations fizzle out quickly. I bore them, too.

 

[gaiages]

I know. I must seem like an idiot.

I have a hard time thinking of things to say, and sometimes choose the wrong things. It's likely why a lot of my conversations fizzle out quickly. I bore them, too.

No, ugh, no.

You're not an idiot, you're not boring.

STOP BEING NEGATIVE. THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT

Putting yourself down all the time is not doing you any favors. Stop it. Just, stop it. I know this isn't the dating realm right now and just a forum, but this sort of attitude will bleed over into all facets of life.

Everyone makes mistakes, says the wrong things, etc, but you're not learning from them if you just beat yourself up over them and say "oh I'm just an idiot and boring", that's just setting yourself up to make the same mistakes again and for failure. You need to change your general outlook (which I understand isn't easy) if you want to have more success.

 

[User 479360]

No, ugh, no.

You're not an idiot, you're not boring.

STOP BEING NEGATIVE. THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT

Putting yourself down all the time is not doing you any favors. Stop it. Just, stop it. I know this isn't the dating realm right now and just a forum, but this sort of attitude will bleed over into all facets of life.

Everyone makes mistakes, says the wrong things, etc, but you're not learning from them if you just beat yourself up over them and say "oh I'm just an idiot and boring", that's just setting yourself up to make the same mistakes again and for failure. You need to change your general outlook (which I understand isn't easy) if you want to have more success.

I worried that reply would be annoying.

I will try. I swear.

 

[UnObtainium17]

I've quit tinder and OKC for a while now maybe 1+ years. I guess it's time to go back to it since after finishing school and then being buried at work right off graduating I noticed i've been meeting way less people than I used to than when I was still in school. I hope things get better for me this time around..

Here's my update on my Tinder experience so far.

I have had many matches, both at home and when traveling. I have actually lost insterest on many of them, as they all seemed like very dull uninteresting women without any sort of ambiton in life. That puts me off so very much.
And then I got a match with this french girl who cam to my country as an intern to learn spanish. We hit it off well, it helps a ton that I speak french, and she loves that. We talked for a couple of weeks, and she insisted very much on seeing each other. I am a busy guy lately, so I had to decline a couple of times.
Flashforward to last weekend, 3 weeks after our match. She asks me how my day was, I her all about it and ask how was her day. She tells me has a massage done to her, and that it was great. Conversation is more or less like this:

Me: I would die for a massage right now. With a happy ending of course.
Her: Let me give one to you.
Me: Happy ending included?
Her:
Me: Now I cannot wait to see you.
Her: I cannot wait to see you since the first day I met you.
Me: send me a pic of you. Early Christmas present
Her: Have you been kind?
Me: Yes yes, very very kind.

She then proceeds to send me a pic of her in her red underwear. I ask for MOAR.
She sends me full nudes.

Me: My God... Don't stop.
Her: I need some from you

We exchange pics, one hotter than the other. And well, that goes where expected.

Following day, she is at it again. Saying she loves what we did yesterday. I say she is ill (she was actually sick with a soar throat), she needs rest. She stars poking at me... I ask her for a pic. And well, we go the same path we did the day before. She tells me even when she is sick she wants me.

And while I am writing this she is poking me again.

Now this girl is hot as f, and I cannot wait to have some alone time with her, but I feel that's gonna be that. Nothing serious. I will be meeting her next week as I have a trip coming up now. We are sure as hell going to go for it first date as we have talked about it already.

My report on Tinder.

EDIT: Ok, she just suggested we should do a threesome with her friend who is coming from Lille...

Read al the response to this and no one has said it yet so i'm gonna take one fro the team..

Sir, Please Feel free to share some of her pics to us.

 

[User 479360]

I think I may quit Tinder. It's too depressing and a pointless exercise.

 

[gwailo]

Man, I'm so bad at letting the girl take the initiative. The girl I've been seeing (a few pages back, always wanted to meet with her friends present, super nervous, inexperienced but really sweet) didn't take me up on a dinner date because she was busy with finals week. I took some advice here and told her no biggie and that after she was done with school we could celebrate and left it at that. Really only sent her one or two random snapchats since then, telling myself if she's interested she'll follow up. Been talking to others in the meantime.

TBH "too busy" is usually just a nice way of them turning people down. Not saying this is 100% the case but I find it real hard to believe that a college student (even during finals week) doesn't have an hour or two to meet up with someone they're interested in unless they are a premed student making rounds or whatever.

Like was said before, ask her out again, but be specific. "Did you want to go out on a date on the 15th?" not "Do you maybe want to do something sometime when you're free?"

Being more direct would solve about 90% of the issues in this thread.

 

[User 479360]

I've been talking to the same girl more today, and she opened up to me. Also asked what I'm doing tonight.

 

[Fallout-NL]

I've been talking to the same girl more today, and she opened up to me. Also asked what I'm doing tonight.

See, just relax man.

I know how fucking awful these anxieties can get, but it's never as bad as you think it is. Relax, OCDChewie, it's cool .

 

[User 479360]

See, just relax man.

I know how fucking awful these anxieties can get, but it's never as bad as you think it is. Relax, OCDChewie, it's cool .

She also deals with mental illness and really wants to go get drinks

 

[gaiages]

She also deals with mental illness and really wants to go get drinks

Then ask her out to drinks

 

[User 479360]

Then ask her out to drinks

I have

 

[gaiages]

I have

Okay, good!