Morning, online dating gaf! So I stated earlier that I wasn't really interested in pushing OKC very hard and wanted to just idle around.
Well! Someone I thought I might be interested in popped up on my feed so I sent her a message. It was in the middle of a work day and was just a quick little note, and I'm starting to think I bungled it. So that said, what's everyone's message-sending-advice? I feel like this is so easy to mess up and completely ruin that first impression.
For posterity's sake, here's my profile again: okcupid.com/profile/orlyowlo
Thaaaaanks!
I'd recommend going for different pictures. I think the tie is amazing in real life situations, but my guess is that it'll spark more prejudice than it'll do you good. You need pictures where you look into the camera. Or, at the very least, don't kind of don't look at the camera. I've planned a photo shoot with a friend to make some Tinder profile pictures for when I set that up. Anyone you can do the same with?
Well I was Gandalf for a while but someone decided to report the picture.
So, uh. New picture! Of me! Whoa.
That said, this is a work in progress. It requires a certain inspiration to write about oneself.
This whole block can just be thrown out. It does nothing for a first impression, and you're still trying to hide behind a fake picture. When I read "I need to work more on this", but then the next sentence is that you're a writer, I don't get what's going on.
People in particular inspire me. Tell me a story and I'll tell you one in turn. Give me a subject and I'll make it interesting. Promise.
It'd be "people, in particular, inspire me", alternately "In particular, people inspire me" or maybe better "I love talking with people, because I get incredibly inspired by it", as it tells that you're social, and that you get inspiration from it. This 'in particular' thing rests upon a context that doesn't exist. The "Promise." gives of a certain "please let me try". I also don't get what it's supposed to convey. It sort of says "please try to give me a subject, and I'll write something interesting". Perhaps try and reword that?
Note: This means I am gainfully employed despite being a writer! A rarity, I've been told.
Oh, whoops. That was a serious answer.
I'm a wacky cartoon character living a cartoon life! WoOoOoO.
This just comes off as completely incongruent. Your profile has been serious so far, so I don't get the "I slipped up" thing. It also has you seem uncertain in talking about yourself. Also, that's a poor joke. It just sort of ruins the impression that you're a writer. If you don't have something that's really witty, perhaps just leave the jokes behind?
I’m really good at
Communication, dawg. Deflecting. Writing, storytelling and being a pretty great person to be around. Positivity is key. Turn that frown upside-down, etcetera, etcetera.
What's with these haphazardly thrown around quips that just adds nothing? Convey that you're good communicating. You'd do that with rewriting what I suggested earlier. Don't say, rather try and convey. I have no reason to believe that you're a particularly positive person. Deflecting? Sounds about as bad a word as you can give for yourself.
My smile. I do that a lot.
The intense look in my eyes as I deeply contemplate my existence while staring meaningfully at the stars; searching for answers in the things that dreams are made of.
Alright, maybe that bit isn't necessarily true. But who hasn't done that once or twice. I mean, really.
You "your smile" a lot? I know I'm being really anal about your writing, but seen how you're a writer, I'd be completely turned off by someone saying they're a writer, but don't seem to master the language. Again, you come off as flimsy and incongruent. Half the time I don't believe what you write, the other half you joke it away. Share more of yourself.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I lyk 2 reed. TeeVee is for squares, Netflix is where it's at. I eat food and I listen to music. Put it in front of me and I will likely enjoy it! It's awesome what growing up poor will do for your expectations.
No, but really. I read a lot and I like to talk about books.
*Thumbs up!*
Currently reading through a short story collection by a handful of fantasy authors! Finished up pretty much everything by Brandon Sanderson recently, too. I tend to stick to fiction but I'm pretty open minded with my books.
"I lyk 2 reed"? That's not a good joke. TeeVee? Again, you say so little about yourself. You actually get personal by saying something about growing up poor, but then you go "No, but really", which comes off across as really insecure. Like you fumbled up saying that. When it's written. You can just erase it.
The last paragraph is great. Throw in some more names, otherwise, it's basically the equivalent of "I listen to all music". Having opinions is great.
The six things I could never do without
Stuff.
Things.
More things?
Double the stuff!
You.
Me?
You know what I'll say here. The "you" underlines the whole thing I've been saying. It smells a bit of desperation, since you're basically saying you can't do without whatever girl reads it. Give of yourself, here.
On a typical Friday night I am
Taking the hobbits to Isenga--wait, no.
Hanging out cool-style, y'know what I mean?
Or sitting at my desk and bemoaning writers block. Literally the worst.
I don't know what you mean. I'm thinking the same thing as I've said all along applies to the "I think about", since it's basically just another witless quip; a joke without foundation, quickly redacted.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I am a trove of dark and mysterious secrets. Spooky.
No, really. Try again.
You should message me if
Oh god please don't.
See, this will be the most hilarious part of your profile, once the rest is upgraded. At this point, it really just seems like you aren't able to have a conversation with a girl. I really loved the joke, you just need the profile to be better to make it absolutely hilarious.
This is my biggest fear. If I finally find someone I'm interested in and I botch it because of a stupid first impression I might die a little inside.
Keep it short and keep it relevant to their profile information (not so much their pictures, unless there's something of interest in them; a tattoo, activity, etc) and give them something to think about. Something like, "Pirates or ninjas?"
If you hang up in things like that, you'll always be so afraid of losing things - in this case girls - so much that you'll lose them. There's no "one" person we all need to meet, and if we fuck it up, we've ruined our one shot at love. You can easily just be overlooked, which means no amount of perfect message could ever have saved you. These things are not something we control. Don't try to. You'll lose a ton of girls. There's even more where she came from.
Ok, so I lied. I'm almost taking a break. Date today and date Sunday, THEN I'll be taking a hiatus to work on myself.
So, you need to work on yourself, because you want to improve... but these dates, they don't deserve that improved you?
Damn. 
