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[Jhoan]

Hey guys, quick question.

If I get a message on Instagram from someone that saw it on my tinder profile, is that creepy/rude? What should I make of that

No, you did put your Instagram on your Tinder profile so it was to be expected that people would lurk and/or message your Instagram account. If the message is fairly harmless and the girl in question is decent looking, then I would say to go for it. It sounds like said person is interested.

 

[Zibrahim]

Why are you asking us if it's creepy or rude? Surely you are the judge of that. What you should make of it is that the person is interested in you.

No, you did put your Instagram on your Tinder profile so it was to be expected that people would lurk and/or message your Instagram account. If the message is fairly harmless and the girl in question is decent looking, then I would say to go for it. It sounds like said person is interested.

I mean, yeah, they are interested because they circumvented the tinder rules to make contact. But isn't that in itself weird? I thought the instagram on tinder was meant to provide more pics/show more about you as a person. I didn't think people use it to send each other messages lol

So, it's ok then? You guys would reply/be cordial?

 

[Jokab]

I mean, yeah, they are interested because they circumvented the tinder rules to make contact. But isn't that in itself weird? I thought the instagram on tinder was meant to provide more pics/show more about you as a person. I didn't think people use it to send each other messages lol

So, it's ok then? You guys would reply/be cordial?

There are no rules on Tinder. And again, you decide for yourself. Do you find the person interesting? If yes, reply. If not, don't. It's easy.

 

[ClosingADoor]

I mean, yeah, they are interested because they circumvented the tinder rules to make contact. But isn't that in itself weird? I thought the instagram on tinder was meant to provide more pics/show more about you as a person. I didn't think people use it to send each other messages lol

So, it's ok then? You guys would reply/be cordial?

Probably depends on her pics. I mean, not much else to go on right.

 

[SRG01]

I wouldn't go out and look for a long distance relationship actively. If it goes that way, you can try it. But to actually message people from another country, seems like a giant waste of time. Do you really want to talk to someone for weeks or months before meeting up and then discovering you are not really compatible after all?

Then again, I already have a hard time keeping a conversation going after a few messages and rather move it to real life, so who knows.

Yeah, that is true. There's a definite risk/reward disadvantage by going LD off the bat.

Personally, I wonder if there's something I'm inherently doing wrong these days. A lot of women seem to say yes to coffee dates and not follow through with it compared to when I was younger. Is it just the product of the times -- ie. more acceptable to ghost? more fake profiles? -- or something that I'm doing? Or perhaps it's the people I tend to pursue these days, I dunno.

It's quite literally "Sure, let's go for coffee!" then nothing.

 

[Assanova]

Yeah, that is true. There's a definite risk/reward disadvantage by going LD off the bat.

Personally, I wonder if there's something I'm inherently doing wrong these days. A lot of women seem to say yes to coffee dates and not follow through with it compared to when I was younger. Is it just the product of the times -- ie. more acceptable to ghost? more fake profiles? -- or something that I'm doing? Or perhaps it's the people I tend to pursue these days, I dunno.

It's quite literally "Sure, let's go for coffee!" then nothing.

Going out to coffee always sounded weird to me. Have you tried asking women out for real drinks aka adult beverages?

 

[SRG01]

Going out to coffee always sounded weird to me. Have you tried asking women out for real drinks aka adult beverages?

I can't drink alcohol, haha. I'm missing the enzyme that processes alcohol, so I can only drink tiny TINY amounts of it.

 

[ClosingADoor]

I can't drink alcohol, haha. I'm missing the enzyme that processes alcohol, so I can only drink tiny TINY amounts of it.

Most cocktail bars can make you something without alcohol in it. Maybe try that.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

I was soo apologetic, but she had a hard time believing me. I told her I'd delete the app, only focus on her, etc and she wasn't having it. I've been very open to her about my Tinder hookups and what not, but she's been open too. She must have this idea in her mind that I'm a complete dog tho. This all happened last night at that party, she took me outside to talk. I think we were both a bit drunk. After awhile she kept saying, "you couldn't be more patient with me"? Blah, I feel like she doesn't think I'm boyfriend material now or worried I'll still be on this apps.

Lol, I checked her recent friend on FB and sure enough a girl I had matched with on Tinder who then checked out my OKC profile yesterday and in turn made me message them on OKC. Small world.

She said she meet her at a house party on Friday.

I imagine the conversation where I was brought up went something like this;

Are you seeing someone?

Yea, he's a cool guy

Oh yea? Do you have a picture of him?

Here's his Facebook

Oh, he looks familiar. I think I talked to him on Tinder.

What happened? Did you talk to her about this further?

 

[Lulubop]

What happened? Did you talk to her about this further?

So that Sunday I told her I wanted to see her the next day. She agreed but said she had a dinner with a friend already planned so it might have to be a little late. I said another day would be fine if it's too late, but she insisted on seeing me. I appreciated that. Anyway, we get to a bar and she brings this up right away. She tells me she feels unsure, and can't promise me anything. To her I'm just some player who's telling her what she wants to her, but then going behind her back and saying the same to other girls. That's insane to me. It's insane that in her eye's I'm out of her league or something. Like me? No way. Especially when I'm crushing so hard on her. There's been a few times in bed where she would say things like, do you really like me? Why do you like me? etc. I feel like obviously she was hurt in the past by someone being insincere to her. Anyway I reassured her the best I could, I think I got through to her. Got rid of the dating apps as well. I got invited to watch straight outta Compton with her and her mom on Saturday lol, so we'll see how that goes.

But uh, she sent me this menu to a restaurant yesterday and said she wants to go. A few hours later I respond and say ok sure, we can go Wed or Thursday. She tells she can't do those days because she wants to hit the gym after work and study, but she still wants to see me and I should come by later. I say sure, we can cuddle up and watch a movie... I haven't heard from her since. Did she really wanna see me? I'm over thinking it again I'm sure.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

So that Sunday I told her I wanted to see her the next day. She agreed but said she had a dinner with a friend already planned so it might have to be a little late. I said another day would be fine if it's too late, but she insisted on seeing me. I appreciated that. Anyway, we get to a bar and she brings this up right away. She tells me she feels unsure, and can't promise me anything. To her I'm just some player who's telling her what she wants to her, but then going behind her back and saying the same to other girls. That's insane to me. It's insane that in her eye's I'm out of her league or something. Like me? No way. Especially when I'm crushing so hard on her. There's been a few times in bed where she would say things like, do you really like me? Why do you like me? etc. I feel like obviously she was hurt in the past by someone being insincere to her. Anyway I reassured her the best I could, I think I got through to her. Got rid of the dating apps as well. I got invited to watch straight outta Compton with her and her mom on Saturday lol, so we'll see how that goes.

But uh, she sent me this menu to a restaurant yesterday and said she wants to go. A few hours later I respond and say ok sure, we can go Wed or Thursday. She tells she can't do those days because she wants to hit the gym after work and study, but she still wants to see me and I should come by later. I say sure, we can cuddle up and watch a movie... I haven't heard from her since. Did she really wanna see me? I'm over thinking it again I'm sure.

She wouldn't have invited you to meet her mother if she wasn't verging on seriousness or at least considering it. In her mind, by the way, this is a victory -- for her -- because her come to Jesus moment got the player who's out of her league to possibly commit to her. In other words, think of it objectively. She clearly likes you. She's unsure and nervous. For some people, Valentine's Day fucks with their minds, too. Anyway, it's already Wednesday. You've got nothing to lose from seeing if she's down for a movie Thursday night after studying/gym. At this point, your best move is to just reach out and ping her again.

Besides, think of it from her point of view. She's been hurt by insincerity before (and probably got cheated on), so the lack of communication/effort is just going to make her overthink things too.

Frankly, the best thing people can do in new relationships is say "I like you" and then spend time with the other person. So do that. You've already both been vulnerable with each other, and the best cure for anxiety is to just be together.

Does the restaurant she wants to try do takeout?

 

[Lulubop]

It's like some hip Vegetarian burger joint. i guess restaurant was the best word.

http://www.superiorityburger.com/

It's my part of town and not hers however. She lives in another borough.

I just think it's a little weird she didn't hit me up today considering we have tentative plans for today or tomorrow. Like I'd appreciate if she let me know what worked better as I'm the one who's heading out to her. She usually text me anyway. I'll wait a bit before I hit her up today.

 

[Lulubop]

.

 

[Stormhammer]

I've gotten a few messages on okcupid in the past week, but it just never ends up anywhere. I check their profiles and we're always almost complete opposites, but I message them back and give it a shot anyway. I'm happy that people are showing some kind of interest, but it gets kind of old when things just sorta shut down so quickly almost every time.

 

[Lulubop]

Ok, so we've been back on track.

RIP thread tho.

 

[ClosingADoor]

I've gotten a few messages on okcupid in the past week, but it just never ends up anywhere. I check their profiles and we're always almost complete opposites, but I message them back and give it a shot anyway. I'm happy that people are showing some kind of interest, but it gets kind of old when things just sorta shut down so quickly almost every time.

What is quickly in this case? 3 messages, 5, 10?

To be fair, most profiles don't really tell that much about the person I think (except for the extreme cases that scream "stay away!"). You might seem opposite there, but when meeting it might be totally different. Goes the other way around also.

 

[Assanova]

I've gotten a few messages on okcupid in the past week, but it just never ends up anywhere. I check their profiles and we're always almost complete opposites, but I message them back and give it a shot anyway. I'm happy that people are showing some kind of interest, but it gets kind of old when things just sorta shut down so quickly almost every time.

Edit: Stats.

Also, I highly recommend deleting your profile if it has been up for longer than two weeks. Most of the women that are interested in you will find you by then. After that, matches and messages slowly trickle in. I would say that all of the girls that made it to a second date found me within the two week time period. Of course, all of this depends on how big your city is.

 

[Assanova]

Edit: Stats.

 

[The Wall]

I can't drink alcohol, haha. I'm missing the enzyme that processes alcohol, so I can only drink tiny TINY amounts of it.

Most cocktail bars can make you something without alcohol in it. Maybe try that.

Cranberry juice and barlime, I'm telling you mang.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

I spreadsheet everything, but I draw the line at the girls I've gone on a date with.

 

[Assanova]

I spreadsheet everything, but I draw the line at the girls I've gone on a date with.

Yeah, I thought long and hard about it for awhile before doing it. At the end of the day, I got tired of spending money and time on girls where there was a low chance of it actually going anywhere. Now I can somewhat predict who I should focus my time and energy on when there are multiple women in the picture.

 

[ClosingADoor]

Yeah, I thought long and hard about it for awhile before doing it. At the end of the day, I got tired of spending money and time on girls where there was a low chance of it actually going anywhere. Now I can somewhat predict who I should focus my time and energy on when there are multiple women in the picture.

Are you going to decline dates who fall out of these stats? It's your life, but sounds a bit strange. Maybe you'll hit it off anyway. And otherwise it's a fine evening. If you don't see it going anywhere, split the bill if it's about money.

 

[Assanova]

Are you going to decline dates who fall out of these stats? It's your life, but sounds a bit strange. Maybe you'll hit it off anyway. And otherwise it's a fine evening. If you don't see it going anywhere, split the bill if it's about money.

Not necessarily, but it helps aid in my decision making. For example, let's say I have two girls who want to meet on the same day. Which one do I choose to meet? If it is possible to meet both on the same day and the first date starts to cross over into the time of the second date, do I let it run over and flake on the second date, or do I rush to meet that second date at all costs? Date seems to be going well, but based on the past with similar girls, do I go for the one night stand because I know that the chances of a second date are low due to socio-economics/cultural background?

These are all situations that I have come across. I once bailed early on a first date to meet my second date of the night, although the first date would have been much more likely to go on a second date with me. There are girls where the first date went very well, but there was no second date. When I was younger, I had a lot of one night stands with girls from a different cultural or socio-economic background because that is what I went for. A lot of those girls were only interested in sex with me.

If there is no correlation between drinks or dinner and getting a second date, then I can ditch dinner altogether and save a ton of money. If the type and number of venues I go to has no correlation between whether or not I get a second date, then I can go to the local dive bar down the street instead of the fancy bar(s) downtown and save time and money. If there is no correlation between the attractiveness of the girl and whether or not there is a second date, then it gives me peace of mind and makes me feel much more comfortable during the date, no matter how attractive the girl is.

There is a Ted Talk about a woman who did something similar and drastically turned her luck around in online dating by doing so:

https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_webb_how_i_hacked_online_dating?language=en

 

[ClosingADoor]

Not necessarily, but it helps aid in my decision making. For example, let's say I have two girls who want to meet on the same day. Which one do I choose to meet? If it is possible to meet both on the same day and the first date starts to cross over into the time of the second date, do I let it run over and flake on the second date, or do I rush to meet that second date at all costs? Date seems to be going well, but based on the past with similar girls, do I go for the one night stand because I know that the chances of a second date are low due to socio-economics/cultural background?

These are all situations that I have come across. I once bailed early on a first date to meet my second date of the night, although the first date would have been much more likely to go on a second date with me. There are girls where the first date went very well, but there was no second date. When I was younger, I had a lot of one night stands with girls from a different cultural or socio-economic background because that is what I went for. A lot of those girls were only interested in sex with me.

If there is no correlation between drinks or dinner and getting a second date, then I can ditch dinner altogether and save a ton of money. If the type and number of venues I go to has no correlation between whether or not I get a second date, then I can go to the local dive bar down the street instead of the fancy bar(s) downtown and save time and money. If there is no correlation between the attractiveness of the girl and whether or not there is a second date, then it gives me peace of mind and makes me feel much more comfortable during the date, no matter how attractive the girl is.

There is a Ted Talk about a woman who did something similar and drastically turned her luck around in online dating by doing so:

https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_webb_how_i_hacked_online_dating?language=en

I guess, if you have too little time otherwise. I'd just suggest meeting up the next day or something. Then again, I life in a bit of a smaller city with not too much online dating, so actually having to schedule a lot of dates in the same month hasn't been a problem for this.

 

[Lulubop]

I like this thread better than the other thread.

So it's been about a month since I been seeing this girl, and we'll we're not official it really felt that we were this weekend. Her Mom had to cancel on the straight outta compton thing, but I still met her briefly Sunday morning. I pretty much the spent the entire weekend with her. Saturday was just a really lowkey movie night, and Sunday I went to a superbowl thing at her best friend's house. It was nice.

Valentine's day this Sunday, I suggested we do a boozy brunch. I wondering if we should do something else however. Suggestions would be cool. Even though I was with someone for 6 years, we never really did anything for Vday.

 

[Jhoan]

Online Dating |OT6| Lulubop's Live Journal

Spoiler

I jest of course.;p

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

I like this thread better than the other thread.

So it's been about a month since I been seeing this girl, and we'll we're not official it really felt that we were this weekend. Her Mom had to cancel on the straight outta compton thing, but I still met her briefly Sunday morning. I pretty much the spent the entire weekend with her. Saturday was just a really lowkey movie night, and Sunday I went to a superbowl thing at her best friend's house. It was nice.

Valentine's day this Sunday, I suggested we do a boozy brunch. I wondering if we should do something else however. Suggestions would be cool. Even though I was with someone for 6 years, we never really did anything for Vday.

Totally happy for you. On my end, it's been 3 weeks since I've been seeing this gorgeous Brazilian girl, and -- well, we're not official yet, but things are going well. We're both in this weird timeframe where everything hits at once. This week is her birthday, Valentine's Day, and also when she takes her professional licensure exam. I'm taking her out for dinner tomorrow night, but yeah... the Vday thing.

The one idea I've heard is that you ought to invite her over and cook for her, because restaurants are going to be crowded/ridiculous/corporate. You really can't go wrong with that, red wine, and dark chocolate.

 

[Lulubop]

That's a fantastic idea, tho I can't cook for shit. Maybe I can suggest some joint cooking thing? Wine and dark chocolate in addition sounds great. Would it be too cheesy picking up one of those heart shaped chocolate boxes?

 

[Necrovex]

That's a fantastic idea, tho I can't cook for shit. Maybe I can suggest some joint cooking thing? Wine and dark chocolate in addition sounds great. Would it be too cheesy picking up one of those heart shaped chocolate boxes?

You could cook something quite base like chicken breasts. Buy breasts, toss your prefer spice on it, canola oil on your pan, leave breast on pan while flipping it occasionally for 10-15 minutes, check meat to make sure no pink exists, and boom properly made dinner.

 

[Jhoan]

Question guys: I followed up with a girl I've been messaging on OKC after she said that she would need to know her schedule for the week to find out her availability to meet up tomorrow.

She got back to me and said that this week is busy for her but offered no alternative day that she was free. I don't have her number yet (my phone got messed up so I'm waiting for a replacement phone to arrive so I can activate it). Do I ask for another day that she's available or move on? I'm going to be pretty busy volunteering at an event all weekend long.

Spoiler

I hope this isn't Jason's Ultimatum levels of overthinking.

 

[Assanova]

Question guys: I followed up with a girl I've been messaging on OKC after she said that she would need to know her schedule for the week to find out her availability to meet up tomorrow.

She got back to me and said that this week is busy for her but offered no alternative day that she was free. I don't have her number yet (my phone got messed up so I'm waiting for a replacement phone to arrive so I can activate it). Do I ask for another day that she's available or move on? I'm going to be pretty busy volunteering at an event all weekend long.

Spoiler

I hope this isn't Jason's Ultimatum levels of overthinking.

Move on. If she likes you, then she will come back to you.

 

[stn]

^ Yup, pretty much. This is basically always the case. Just think about how you would treat someone you like, and just assume that a girl interested in you would do the same.

 

[Lulubop]

Actually went the step further than just uninstalling the apps, but I also deleted my accounts. It feels good. Date night on Thursday.

Anyway, guess I'll chill out a bit on posting in here.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Actually went the step further than just uninstalling the apps, but I also deleted my accounts. It feels good. Date night on Thursday.

Anyway, guess I'll chill out a bit on posting in here.

Time for the varsity thread? We can leave the JV one behind. Although, I like this one better too.

Congrats, though! On my end, got.a 6th date with my lady friend sometime this weekend. I should disable my accounts too. Haven't logged on in weeks, but we're not "official" yet, so I'm slightly hesitant, I guess.

 

[SneakersSO]

Alright - so i've decided to dip my toes in online dating. 1 problem - i'm terrible when it comes to constructing online profiles. I had a female friend help me pick out 4 or 5 pics which are pretty accurate and look okay, and the pics, particularly my main pic, got some positive responses on the one site I tried it out on (match). I just cannot, for the life of me, construct a good about me section. I was wondering if there is anyone here who specializes in this sort of thing who is willing to give me a hand.

 

[ClosingADoor]

Alright - so i've decided to dip my toes in online dating. 1 problem - i'm terrible when it comes to constructing online profiles. I had a female friend help me pick out 4 or 5 pics which are pretty accurate and look okay, and the pics, particularly my main pic, got some positive responses on the one site I tried it out on (match). I just cannot, for the life of me, construct a good about me section. I was wondering if there is anyone here who specializes in this sort of thing who is willing to give me a hand.

Keep it short and simple, just a few sentences. Describe some fun stuff you like to do, maybe bit about your job or what you're doing in life and what you want to achieve.

 

[SneakersSO]

Keep it short and simple, just a few sentences. Describe some fun stuff you like to do, maybe bit about your job or what you're doing in life and what you want to achieve.

Easier said than done! I just have no way of knowing whether or not it sounds fun or interesting. Anyone wanna PM me so I can bounce a few paragraphs off of? My judgement on myself or what I make is just not very good.

 

[DeadPhoenix]

So I made an OK cupid account a while back(in fact I posted in here about it some), filled in some info on my page, but never added a photo cause I didn't have a good one, then just kind of... ignored it. Then a little while later(several months ago from now) I checked out one of the random emails they constantly send me(i swear i get 2-3 emails each week about new matches they found this week. i get tons of junk so w/e) and I noticed one of them actually lives in my town, then I looked at the picture and realized it is someone who not only works in the same store, but also works overnight. We pretty much never work in the same area at the same time though.

Anyways, I check out her profile and notice shes into stuff like anime and video games(and of course a few other things), while that is pretty generic stuff to say, its a dating profile not a life story so I figure thats normal(I didn't list my love for Gurren Lagann or write 5 paragraphs on why fallout 2 is amazing and 3/4 are shit either, because that would be stupid). If you are wondering why I'm writing all this up to this point, I'm stalling because I'm a huge coward, which leads me to the next part of the story, in which I hit like on her profile page(I don't think I even did this til a week or so later) and then proceed to do nothing else for another month or 2.

Eventually, after I change position at my store, I start hanging out and talking with a guy who works in my new department(because fuck actually working) and eventually a couple conversations lead to me(pretty much had to force myself, much like I will do with hitting the Submit Reply button) to mentioning this lady. Turns out he kinda knows her and is pretty much as shy as I am(not sure if that is a good or bad thing) and he then proceeds to talk to her and her friends for me... after a little while I finally decide to just upload a picture(since its a requirement to do anything on OKC) and message her, what is probably the lamest message ever(i literally asked her about her favorite anime and video games). After that... not much happens other then my friend occasionally talking to her. Until about 2 days ago.

Turns out she has no internet at the moment so that is why she couldn't respond till now. So now we have a couple messages about anime and video games and while I enjoy talking about those things(i couldn't even make this posted without talking shit about fallout 3/4), but I feel like I need to take the conversation in a another direction... problem is idk what or how best to do that.

The reason I am posting this is because I'm looking for tips or suggestion on what to do, because I sure as fuck have no idea. Hopefully this post isn't as horribly written as I fear it is...

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

So I made an OK cupid account a while back(in fact I posted in here about it some), filled in some info on my page, but never added a photo cause I didn't have a good one, then just kind of... ignored it. Then a little while later(several months ago from now) I checked out one of the random emails they constantly send me(i swear i get 2-3 emails each week about new matches they found this week. i get tons of junk so w/e) and I noticed one of them actually lives in my town, then I looked at the picture and realized it is someone who not only works in the same store, but also works overnight. We pretty much never work in the same area at the same time though.

Anyways, I check out her profile and notice shes into stuff like anime and video games(and of course a few other things), while that is pretty generic stuff to say, its a dating profile not a life story so I figure thats normal(I didn't list my love for Gurren Lagann or write 5 paragraphs on why fallout 2 is amazing and 3/4 are shit either, because that would be stupid). If you are wondering why I'm writing all this up to this point, I'm stalling because I'm a huge coward, which leads me to the next part of the story, in which I hit like on her profile page(I don't think I even did this til a week or so later) and then proceed to do nothing else for another month or 2.

Eventually, after I change position at my store, I start hanging out and talking with a guy who works in my new department(because fuck actually working) and eventually a couple conversations lead to me(pretty much had to force myself, much like I will do with hitting the Submit Reply button) to mentioning this lady. Turns out he kinda knows her and is pretty much as shy as I am(not sure if that is a good or bad thing) and he then proceeds to talk to her and her friends for me... after a little while I finally decide to just upload a picture(since its a requirement to do anything on OKC) and message her, what is probably the lamest message ever(i literally asked her about her favorite anime and video games). After that... not much happens other then my friend occasionally talking to her. Until about 2 days ago.

Turns out she has no internet at the moment so that is why she couldn't respond till now. So now we have a couple messages about anime and video games and while I enjoy talking about those things(i couldn't even make this posted without talking shit about fallout 3/4), but I feel like I need to take the conversation in a another direction... problem is idk what or how best to do that.

The reason I am posting this is because I'm looking for tips or suggestion on what to do, because I sure as fuck have no idea. Hopefully this post isn't as horribly written as I fear it is...

You take the conversation in another direction by doing it in person, ideally over drinks. Besides, you already have a mutual friend, it seems. To be honest, you have an ideal situation: you're both on a dating site, meaning you're single and looking; the mutual friend aspect means you're per se vetted as not a stalker or creeper; and you've already exchanged messages.

So, offer your number (you can legitimately say that you don't use the site much) and just ask her out already.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

.

 

[Scotch]

I tinder down for anyone else?

/edit: rebooted my phone and now it's working. God this app is so bad.

 

[Kid Kamikaze10]

Quick update. Girl I was with many pages ago? Broke up.

Made up for that pretty quickly; last week I hooked up with a girl at a party, and for the rest of that weekend. Still getting over my ex, but that made it a lot easier.


Back to why I'm here: Bumble. A girl sent me a "you're hot", and I gave a pretty slick response...

I have no clue where to go from there.

 

[Kid Kamikaze10]

So I had the date with the person I brought up, and it was alright, but nothing really came out of it.

So, I have another question.


Does anyone work things differently for a hookup date than they do for a relationship date?

Because I feel like I need to be more flirty/aggressive for hookup dates.

 

[Jhoan]

So I had the date with the person I brought up, and it was alright, but nothing really came out of it.

So, I have another question.


Does anyone work things differently for a hookup date than they do for a relationship date?

Because I feel like I need to be more flirty/aggressive for hookup dates.

It depends. If texts are super flirty leading up to the date and/or you get sent nudes, then it's a good sign that sparks are going to fly. Girls do tend to be nervous on dates as well so usually the first date is tense and can make it or break it for people based on first impressions.

Based on personal experience, last time I had a casual fling, the girl had hinted at me during messaging online that it would possible lead to hooking up if things went well in person.Things went well on the first date because of the following (went for drinks):

The girl showed a ton of interest in me
She was comfortable letting me touch her and reciprocated
She was comfortable with me leaving my hand on her lap.
There was sexual tension which I broke by asking if she wanted to kiss me.

The rest from there was history. You should keep in mind that not all girls that are on Tinder are solely looking for hookups. Best thing to do is play it by ear and do playful touching. If the date is receptive and touches you back, then it's good to go. If you end up sleeping on the first date, then it's a good chance it could become a casual or the girl might want to take it slow. Again, YMMV. See the Dating-Age thread for examples and more opinions on your question.

 

[Lulubop]

Despite her seemingly being excited to see me beforehand, something seemed off about her this weekend. She just didn't seem to be to into things, on her phone more than usual, pretty quite and would sorta just get lost in a daze. Also doesn't show any signs of actually wanting to make this official yet, which makes me wonder if she wants to at all. Def feel like downloading Tinder RN.

 

[ClosingADoor]

Despite her seemingly being excited to see me beforehand, something seemed off about her this weekend. She just didn't seem to be to into things, on her phone more than usual, pretty quite and would sorta just get lost in a daze. Also doesn't show any signs of actually wanting to make this official yet, which makes me wonder if she wants to at all. Def feel like downloading Tinder RN.

Don't push too hard with this "official" thing. Just keep seeing her and enjoy yourself.

It's been two months or something right? Switch up dates if you've been doing the same things too much. Go see a show, do something during the day, see what she is interested in and go together there.

 

[Assanova]

Despite her seemingly being excited to see me beforehand, something seemed off about her this weekend. She just didn't seem to be to into things, on her phone more than usual, pretty quite and would sorta just get lost in a daze. Also doesn't show any signs of actually wanting to make this official yet, which makes me wonder if she wants to at all. Def feel like downloading Tinder RN.

Two months? If she is not trying to make it official by now and you want an official relationship, you should probably talk about it. There is no point in wasting time with someone if you aren't on the same page.

 

[dskillzhtown]

Despite her seemingly being excited to see me beforehand, something seemed off about her this weekend. She just didn't seem to be to into things, on her phone more than usual, pretty quite and would sorta just get lost in a daze. Also doesn't show any signs of actually wanting to make this official yet, which makes me wonder if she wants to at all. Def feel like downloading Tinder RN.

What is the rush? Take your time and see how it goes?

You want to get serious with her, but after one day when she seemed distracted, you are ready to jump right back into Tinderville? Why not ask her if everything is okay? Maybe she has some family or some other issue going on. Either way, making rash decisions based on one afternoon just doesn't seem the right approach.

 

[Lulubop]

I talk a little more about it.

Friday night she was super excited to see me the next day, though she was obviously a little buzzed texting me. It was cute.

We had plans for Saturday night, but it was like 2 degrees, with a real feel of -15 in the city. We decided to just hang out at her places instead. That's when she was seeming kind of, maybe she was tired but the next day at brunch she was sorta the same.

I won't get into to much detail, but what really urked me is that she still thinks I'm being insincere in how I feel about her and still thinks I'm out there talking to a million different girls. It feels like it's going no where and now there's seemingly a lack of interest coming from her end. Dunno what's up. Going to see a play that her friend is performing in on wed, but it kinda felt like she really didn't want to invite me. I'll chill out for a few days and let her hit me up when she wants.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

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