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[phoony17]

Ok, first foray into online dating but bit of background first.

Was with my ex for almost 9 years and separated amicably back in May last year. Wanted to chill for a bit before trying to get back into dating. A close friend said he had a work colleague and thought that we would get on like a house on fire and wanted to get us to meet up but at the time I said I just wanted to have a break first.

Decided to jump on Tinder a couple of months down the track and low and behold we just happened to swipe on each other. Swapped texts for a few days and organised to catch up for some drinks on Sunday arvo. Meet up went well (ended up chatting for 3hrs) and said our goodbyes with a hug. Sent her a text when I got home and hour or so later saying that I had a good time, she agreed so suggested we go out to a movie/dinner next time, which she said sounded great.

All good right? Here's the thing.

We don't text all that much (maybe 2-3 texts daily) and it feels like i'm the one that always starts a conversation,things like (how was your day? etc) I just want to talk more. I don't know if it's because I was out of the game for so long but I feel like if I keep pushing texts out i'll look a bit needy or pushy.

Is that normal? Should I just chill out and save all the talking for when we go on our next date? I guess we're all so used to texting so much but unsure about how much you should text someone you've only just met.

 

[Armadilo]

Gaf can you teach me about tinder ? I have had nothing, only fake accounts is what I match with so far, I'm average looking and had the best pic of me but nothing

 

[Jokab]

Ok, first foray into online dating but bit of background first.

Was with my ex for almost 9 years and separated amicably back in May last year. Wanted to chill for a bit before trying to get back into dating. A close friend said he had a work colleague and thought that we would get on like a house on fire and wanted to get us to meet up but at the time I said I just wanted to have a break first.

Decided to jump on Tinder a couple of months down the track and low and behold we just happened to swipe on each other. Swapped texts for a few days and organised to catch up for some drinks on Sunday arvo. Meet up went well (ended up chatting for 3hrs) and said our goodbyes with a hug. Sent her a text when I got home and hour or so later saying that I had a good time, she agreed so suggested we go out to a movie/dinner next time, which she said sounded great.

All good right? Here's the thing.

We don't text all that much (maybe 2-3 texts daily) and it feels like i'm the one that always starts a conversation,things like (how was your day? etc) I just want to talk more. I don't know if it's because I was out of the game for so long but I feel like if I keep pushing texts out i'll look a bit needy or pushy.

Is that normal? Should I just chill out and save all the talking for when we go on our next date? I guess we're all so used to texting so much but unsure about how much you should text someone you've only just met.

Your texting volume is fine. You don't need more than check up/tell anecdote from your day each or even every other day. Save talking for the date, you want some mystery around you as well as saving talking points. I mean if you can make the texts flirty that's great too, but it's not by any means required. Just keep up light conversation until the date and you should be fine. She wants to see you again, you're doing good.

 

[Lulubop]

Mostly over it, sorta. Meh. Not really. Had a few dates last week, flaked on a few dates last week, realized I'm 100 percent looking for a serious relationship last week

If I could go back and do it again I'd get rid of the dating apps asap. I feel like she might have been overly concerned about them. Or maybe she just got bored of me.

 

[ZackieChan]

Gaf can you teach me about tinder ? I have had nothing, only fake accounts is what I match with so far, I'm average looking and had the best pic of me but nothing

Add more pics. Pics of you being interesting and having fun would help. Put your damn hood down, too.

 

[Palpable]

'Her' excuse was 'she' feels uncomfortable with her body. 'She' hates how small 'her' boobs are, etc. I've requested a photo to be sent on WhatsApp, non-nude, of her holding up a sign with my name written on it, with her doing a peace sign. I'm still awaiting the photo.

Ever receive it?

 

[Armadilo]

Like is their a reason bots/fake accounts are the only people matching up to me ? Am I doing something wrong ?

 

[Salamando]

Like is their a reason bots/fake accounts are the only people matching up to me ? Am I doing something wrong ?

Your pic(s?) probably sucks. Without having seen them, I can't offer detailed feedback, only general suggestions.

Clothes should fit properly. Hair and beard should be groomed. Background matters and says a lot about you. Lighting, face angles, general composition, and expression should all be taken into consideration. Take dozens of pictures, experimenting a little with each one, and pick the very best.

 

[Armadilo]

Is it normal for girls to have like 3 pics and either just one sentence or nothing at all in the description box ?

 

[ZackieChan]

Is it normal for girls to have like 3 pics and either just one sentence or nothing at all in the description box ?

Yes. Then again, they have 3x the pics you have. One line description is fine. It's all about the pics on Tinder.

Bumble here in LA is full of gorgeous women

Spoiler

that aren't matching with me

. Blows Tinder out of the water.

 

[Symphonia]

Ever receive it?

Nope. Blocked her ass.

 

[Fallout-NL]

Like is their a reason bots/fake accounts are the only people matching up to me ? Am I doing something wrong ?

If you're mostly liking women that look like (or dress like) swimsuit models or porn stars, you're doing it wrong. Just ask yourself 'does this look like a real person?'. Also, restrict your likes to the smaller subset of women that you not only find attractive, but also seem like your type of person (in terms of a general wavelength insofar as it's possible to judge that from photos).

 

[Palpable]

Why does bumble have waaaay more attractive women on it?

 

[True Savior]

Gaf can you teach me about tinder ? I have had nothing, only fake accounts is what I match with so far, I'm average looking and had the best pic of me but nothing

Tinder only has one rule. Good pictures. People will tell you a dozen things that work or not, but at the end of the day the only thing that matters are good pics. Whatever the situation or the setting. Try to have a bunch of them.

 

[pieface]

Ok, first foray into online dating but bit of background first.

Was with my ex for almost 9 years and separated amicably back in May last year. Wanted to chill for a bit before trying to get back into dating. A close friend said he had a work colleague and thought that we would get on like a house on fire and wanted to get us to meet up but at the time I said I just wanted to have a break first.

Decided to jump on Tinder a couple of months down the track and low and behold we just happened to swipe on each other. Swapped texts for a few days and organised to catch up for some drinks on Sunday arvo. Meet up went well (ended up chatting for 3hrs) and said our goodbyes with a hug. Sent her a text when I got home and hour or so later saying that I had a good time, she agreed so suggested we go out to a movie/dinner next time, which she said sounded great.

All good right? Here's the thing.

We don't text all that much (maybe 2-3 texts daily) and it feels like i'm the one that always starts a conversation,things like (how was your day? etc) I just want to talk more. I don't know if it's because I was out of the game for so long but I feel like if I keep pushing texts out i'll look a bit needy or pushy.

Is that normal? Should I just chill out and save all the talking for when we go on our next date? I guess we're all so used to texting so much but unsure about how much you should text someone you've only just met.

As others have said, that amount of texting is fine (possibly even too much imo). After coming out of a 9 year relationship you're probably very used to speaking a lot every day, even if it's just about general stuff about what you fancy for dinner etc. But after only meeting this girl once, you have to work at a different pace, otherwise you will come across quite needy. Being the first person to text is fine, I wouldn't worry about that, it shows you're interested, but I would hold off from having any in-depth conversations via text and save them for meeting in person.

If you talk too much over text in the initial stages of dating someone (especially about anything deep) you can easily build up a false image of who this person is, and then when you talk more in person you may be expecting a different response which alters your image of her. I used to try and really get to know someone online before meeting them, and 9/10 it made the actual date quite awkward because I was always expecting something different. However, my current girlfriend and I barely text at all in the initial stages of dating, I made a conscious effort to save all talking for when we met as it's just a bit more fun, and it worked.

Just keep yourself busy in-between dates and try talking to friends if you get the urge to talk to her.

 

[ZackieChan]

Why does bumble have waaaay more attractive women on it?

It's crazy, isn't it?

 

[Deleted member 594614]

Hmmm, I met my current GF on Match if that counts but can we discuss dating if we are 6 months into a relationship. I'm kinda new to the dating scene (divorce after 15 years) and I feel like a complete noob 99% of the time and would love some advice from you guys.

 

[Leeness]

Why does bumble have waaaay more attractive women on it?

Spoiler

Bumble is also the worst.

 

[turtle553]

Spoiler

Bumble is also the worst.

It just shows that women responding first just default to saying 'hey' like most guys.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

I never tried Bumble but I can vouch for Coffee Meets Bagel if it's available in your area. I'm dating the second girl I met on that app.

 

[Deleted member 594614]

I never used any service other then Match for about 3 months. Got hundreds of messages and met some strange women lol
Seems there is a lot of women 30-40 who want a BDSM relationship! Had a beautiful Persian woman want me to sit on her face...on...her FACE..I'm all for it going the other way but in no way is my hairy man butt going on a ladies face lol

Ended up meeting another woman and dating her for 3 months...and yeah, she too wanted to be choked and smacked around...so weird.

Right after that ended tho the first girl who ever messaged me, a mousey adorable 30 year old found me on FB. We've been dating now for the last 6 months...and shes anit-violence thank god!

I really like her but its a roller coaster I cant seem to figure out. I cant tell if I'm screwing up or doing the right thing 99% of the time.
Her being 30 years old, no kids and never married and having an insane life from 18-30 and me being 36, 1 kid, divorced and being in my shell of dad/husband solitude from 20-35 is a strange combo.

 

[phoony17]

As others have said, that amount of texting is fine (possibly even too much imo). After coming out of a 9 year relationship you're probably very used to speaking a lot every day, even if it's just about general stuff about what you fancy for dinner etc. But after only meeting this girl once, you have to work at a different pace, otherwise you will come across quite needy. Being the first person to text is fine, I wouldn't worry about that, it shows you're interested, but I would hold off from having any in-depth conversations via text and save them for meeting in person.

If you talk too much over text in the initial stages of dating someone (especially about anything deep) you can easily build up a false image of who this person is, and then when you talk more in person you may be expecting a different response which alters your image of her. I used to try and really get to know someone online before meeting them, and 9/10 it made the actual date quite awkward because I was always expecting something different. However, my current girlfriend and I barely text at all in the initial stages of dating, I made a conscious effort to save all talking for when we met as it's just a bit more fun, and it worked.

Just keep yourself busy in-between dates and try talking to friends if you get the urge to talk to her.

Thanks for that advice mate, and to Jokab as well. Have taken it onboard .

You're right, so used to talking a lot when with an ex. Knew I had to dial it down but I guess needed some reassurance.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

If she is Latin, you have nothing to worry about. I've dated several and they are the most loyal women that I have come across. Anyhow, I would be happy that she mentioned it. Most people that I've come across who date online have no idea of how to talk things out and let the other person know about their issues and concerns; they just bolt on to the next person and wonder why they are still single.

So, since Assanova commented on this, things have worked out well: we spend lots of time together, we really like each other, and I've committed to several positive life changes that'll benefit me irrespective of her. I discovered that I love cooking, especially for her. It's now a hobby. The same goes for learning Portuguese so that I can speak with her family. (Bought a sous vide machine; it's a hidden gem.) Last weekend we finally discussed the one blip (our sexual chemistry) maturely, and we prefaced it with stating that we wanted to be with each other and work on things. Turns out that we were both anxious about things, and I was also kissing her like my last girlfriend . . . so, had to unlearn some things, which helped immensely. I'm trying to be measured here, because I still have some concerns (doesn't everyone?), but time and conversation seems to fix all of them.

I guess I have some advanced level questions!

(1) I have no experience dating a Brazilian girl with family from Argentina. In fact, I've never dated a Latin girl, period. Is there anything culturally-specific I should know about?

(2) It hasn't been two months yet, but I think we're finally going to introduce each other to friends. My birthday is coming up next week, and while I'd love to have her out, I shouldn't ambush her with a ton of people at once, right?

(3) Date ideas for what's probably the 25th date or so? I don't want to get complacent.

(4) She's (rightfully) concerned about me being close to my ex-wife. I (stupidly) still had a picture of us in our apartment. We talked that through. Importantly, she wasn't jealous -- we're both friends with exes -- but what can I do to assuage those fears? Anyone ever been in a similar situation? I have no interest in my ex, and she lives across the country, but we still talk a lot, including about the people we're dating.

(5) We're clearly together, but she wants me asking her to "be my girlfriend" to be special, or at least more special than a one-off question. This is weird to me, and I'm chalking it up to a cultural thing. I'm suspecting that, for her, "officially dating" means you're on the very beginning of the path to marriage. Thus, I get it -- it's still a commitment, even if it's a relatively escapable one -- and I want to respect that. Any ideas?

 

[Vic_Bast]

AD, since she is from Brazil and her family from Argentina I believe she lived in the South Region of Brazil?

 

[Assanova]

So, since Assanova commented on this, things have worked out well: we spend lots of time together, we really like each other, and I've committed to several positive life changes that'll benefit me irrespective of her. I discovered that I love cooking, especially for her. It's now a hobby. The same goes for learning Portuguese so that I can speak with her family. (Bought a sous vide machine; it's a hidden gem.) Last weekend we finally discussed the one blip (our sexual chemistry) maturely, and we prefaced it with stating that we wanted to be with each other and work on things. Turns out that we were both anxious about things, and I was also kissing her like my last girlfriend . . . so, had to unlearn some things, which helped immensely. I'm trying to be measured here, because I still have some concerns (doesn't everyone?), but time and conversation seems to fix all of them.

I guess I have some advanced level questions!

(1) I have no experience dating a Brazilian girl with family from Argentina. In fact, I've never dated a Latin girl, period. Is there anything culturally-specific I should know about?

(2) It hasn't been two months yet, but I think we're finally going to introduce each other to friends. My birthday is coming up next week, and while I'd love to have her out, I shouldn't ambush her with a ton of people at once, right?

(3) Date ideas for what's probably the 25th date or so? I don't want to get complacent.

(4) She's (rightfully) concerned about me being close to my ex-wife. I (stupidly) still had a picture of us in our apartment. We talked that through. Importantly, she wasn't jealous -- we're both friends with exes -- but what can I do to assuage those fears? Anyone ever been in a similar situation? I have no interest in my ex, and she lives across the country, but we still talk a lot, including about the people we're dating.

(5) We're clearly together, but she wants me asking her to "be my girlfriend" to be special, or at least more special than a one-off question. This is weird to me, and I'm chalking it up to a cultural thing. I'm suspecting that, for her, "officially dating" means you're on the very beginning of the path to marriage. Thus, I get it -- it's still a commitment, even if it's a relatively escapable one -- and I want to respect that. Any ideas?

1) Almost all the latin women that I've dated are crazy and easily angered. Also, they are extremely close to their families. This can be kind of annoying if you live together and like to have your space, as they will be around a lot.

2) Your friends will become her friends. Say goodbye to nights out with just the boys once you live together. She will either raise hell or cry if you try going out without her, at least from my experience.

4) Hahahahahaha. You already screwed up. Latin women are EXTREMELY jealous. She is never going to let you live down being in any kind of contact with any of your exes.

5) You are correct. I would proceed very cautiously. Once you are in a relationship she owns you and all of your free time.

Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule, but this has been my experience with several latin women.

 

[Fallout-NL]

1) Almost all the latin women that I've dated are crazy and easily angered. Also, they are extremely close to their families. This can be kind of annoying if you live together and like to have your space, as they will be around a lot.

2) Your friends will become her friends. Say goodbye to nights out with just the boys once you live together. She will either raise hell or cry if you try going out without her, at least from my experience.

4) Hahahahahaha. You already screwed up. Latin women are EXTREMELY jealous. She is never going to let you live down being in any kind of contact with any of your exes.

5) You are correct. I would proceed very cautiously. Once you are in a relationship she owns you and all of your free time.

Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule, but this has been my experience with several latin women.

This does not sound great.

 

[Assanova]

This does not sound great.

Well, they are very loyal, feminine, good at cooking, and will do whatever it takes to keep you happy. Comes at a cost though.

 

[Africanus]

1) Almost all the latin women that I've dated are crazy and easily angered. Also, they are extremely close to their families. This can be kind of annoying if you live together and like to have your space, as they will be around a lot.

2) Your friends will become her friends. Say goodbye to nights out with just the boys once you live together. She will either raise hell or cry if you try going out without her, at least from my experience.

4) Hahahahahaha. You already screwed up. Latin women are EXTREMELY jealous. She is never going to let you live down being in any kind of contact with any of your exes.

5) You are correct. I would proceed very cautiously. Once you are in a relationship she owns you and all of your free time.

Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule, but this has been my experience with several latin women.

I feel these are somewhat unhealthy stereotypes.

However, I would say to just take caution regarding your former wife and ease her into the personal aspects of your own life.

 

[Assanova]

I feel these are somewhat unhealthy stereotypes.

However, I would say to just take caution regarding your former wife and ease her into the personal aspects of your own life.

Hence why I said based on my experiences. A friend of mine had the same experience too when he dated a Latin girl.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

1) Almost all the latin women that I've dated are crazy and easily angered. Also, they are extremely close to their families. This can be kind of annoying if you live together and like to have your space, as they will be around a lot.

2) Your friends will become her friends. Say goodbye to nights out with just the boys once you live together. She will either raise hell or cry if you try going out without her, at least from my experience.

4) Hahahahahaha. You already screwed up. Latin women are EXTREMELY jealous. She is never going to let you live down being in any kind of contact with any of your exes.

5) You are correct. I would proceed very cautiously. Once you are in a relationship she owns you and all of your free time.

Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule, but this has been my experience with several latin women.

To add context, a lot of these are true. For instance, she's incredibly close to her family; I've already talked to her dad on Skype (using the 10 words of Portuguese I know), and her mom and brother knows about me. Obviously her sister does too, since we've all hung out.

The other stuff seems to be present, but not to an exasperating degree. She's not jealous of exes -- she's still close to her last ex and was totally fine with me grabbing dinner with my ex-wife when she visited town -- but she was scared I wasn't over her. I guess it's logic vs. emotion here.

Frankly, it was a good thing. I finally threw out my ex's remaining stuff and scrubbed Facebook clean. Any other pitfalls?

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

With regards to birthdays, I think the most important thing is to spend some time together before or after the main event. If it's a big party/dinner then it'll be a nice reprieve. Don't go overboard with the number of guests, the venue, the food, etc.

Date ideas: if you grew up nearby or near your alma mater, walk around there. Try something neither of you have done before. Attend a sports game. Go skydiving. Take a weekend trip to a local ski hill.

 

[Solid SOAP]

Just made a lil ok cupid account. Hopefully I'll have some luck. We'll see! I'm pretty confident in my appearance and all, but I don't wanna have a super vanilla profile. I listed all the essentials of my personality and interests (i.e. camping, hiking, vidya gaems, etc) and tried to be kinda funny but not overbearing.

 

[Jhoan]

My friend sent me this article on how women who message guys first on OKC are more like likely to get dates than the other way around. Posting from the phone but here's a quote:

These results come from analyzing the activities of 70,000 users and finding that straight women who shoot off that crucial opening message are, according to this New York Times piece, “2.5 times more likely to receive a response than men who did the same.” The women are also uniformly messaging the site’s hottest dudes, as judged by user standards. Yeahhh buddy.

http://jezebel.com/women-who-messag...source=jezebel_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

 

[Salamando]

My friend sent me this article on how women who message guys first on OKC are more like likely to get dates than the other way around. Posting from the phone but here's a quote:



http://jezebel.com/women-who-messag...source=jezebel_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

It would be better to post the original OKC article. That article is repeating errors made in their source. https://www.okcupid.com/deep-end/a-womans-advantage

Most notably, the chart at the top of the Jezebel article is titled "Percentage of first messages that turn into a date". The OKC's chart with the exact same data points is titled "Percentage of first messages that turn into a conversation". Yes, women get more responses, but OKC has no metrics for how many dates they're getting.

 

[Assanova]

My friend sent me this article on how women who message guys first on OKC are more like likely to get dates than the other way around. Posting from the phone but here's a quote:



http://jezebel.com/women-who-messag...source=jezebel_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

I honestly thought the rate would be higher. I wonder if it's because women are only messaging the most attractive men on the site.

 

[ArgyleReptile]

Due to the many, many perks of introversion making it hard to find someone the old fashion way, I'd like to start online dating. I made a profile on OKC a while ago, but never used it (mainly because I found my user name lame), so I just deleted it and plan to start fresh.

I've read the Do's and Do Not's in the OT, and, for the most part, I feel confident, but I still have concern. Pictures. I don't get photographed often and I don't really do selfies. I tried a number of times earlier this week and they don't look too good. Also, do the constant updates have to include pictures? Because...I definitely won't be looking forward to that.

 

[ZackieChan]

Due to the many, many perks of introversion making it hard to find someone the old fashion way, I'd like to start online dating. I made a profile on OKC a while ago, but never used it (mainly because I found my user name lame), so I just deleted it and plan to start fresh.

I've read the Do's and Do Not's in the OT, and, for the most part, I feel confident, but I still have concern. Pictures. I don't get photographed often and I don't really do selfies. I tried a number of times earlier this week and they don't look too good. Also, do the constant updates have to include pictures? Because...I definitely won't be looking forward to that.

Time to change that. Take like a hundred and pic the best. Do interesting things, not photo shoots.

 

[Respect]

Any assistance on what I should do to improve my profile? I know I need better pics, working on that part, but more focused on the meat of the profile for now.

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=106985171

Any tips would be appreciated. I know it doesn't help that 75% of the women located around me are super religious....

 

[ZackieChan]

Any assistance on what I should do to improve my profile? I know I need better pics, working on that part, but more focused on the meat of the profile for now.

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=106985171

Any tips would be appreciated. I know it doesn't help that 75% of the women located around me are super religious....

All but the first pic are awful. Definitely change them. Take some where you're happy and not weird. Full body selfie just doesn't look good at all - get some shots of you doing things and having fun!

Also, saying you're a nerd in the first sentence probably isn't great. Going to limit your options right there!

 

[Salamando]

Any assistance on what I should do to improve my profile? I know I need better pics, working on that part, but more focused on the meat of the profile for now.

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=106985171

Any tips would be appreciated. I know it doesn't help that 75% of the women located around me are super religious....

The text comes across as overly negative. Every paragraph feels like you're attacking someone somehow. I have no love for the Republican voters either, but you won't find me ending a profile with a mini-rant on them.

Don't say "I don't think with my dick" (albeit in cleaner language). Just, don't. Not drinking is perfectly fine, but the way you make a deal about it condescends those who do drink.

Saying you'll "cherish, respect and honor" someone just feels cringey. That should just go without saying. Nobody's going to put "I'm gonna be a dick to you" in their profile.

 

[Lulubop]

Ryan Gosling gif is top tier on Tinder, try it.

Funny you haven't met any of her friends AD. I met all of that Greek girl's friends. Even the last night I saw her I was meeting new people. Feeling a bit better, but man does she seem like such a diamond in the rough. Which is why I been talking this so hard.

 

[GK86]

For the love of everything holy, don't be this guy:

Rest of them and the story behind them here.

 

[ArgyleReptile]

Time to change that. Take like a hundred and pic the best. Do interesting things, not photo shoots.

Hmm, I have pets so that's one. Most of the things I like to do I don't think would be interesting or make for a good picture. Also, any suggestions on how to take the picture? Or would you suggest I grab a couple friends.

 

[Salamando]

Hmm, I have pets so that's one. Most of the things I like to do I don't think would be interesting or make for a good picture. Also, any suggestions on how to take the picture? Or would you suggest I grab a couple friends.

What kind of hobbies are you thinking of? Even if the the hobby itself isn't that interesting visually, you can jazz it up with an interesting setting. For example, if you like reading, find a nice library to take some pics in, or maybe a sunny park.

You got two options on taking the pictures...get a camera with a timer and/or remote shutter, or have friends and family help. If any of them ask why, just say "instagram".

Also think about taking friends/family out for dinner/drinks, and have a server take the group's pic. Showing you're sociable always plays well.

 

[ZackieChan]

Hmm, I have pets so that's one. Most of the things I like to do I don't think would be interesting or make for a good picture. Also, any suggestions on how to take the picture? Or would you suggest I grab a couple friends.

I thought the friends were implied, but yes. Take photos while having fun with friends! It shows you are acceptable to others and have a social life.

 

[Symphonia]

For the love of everything holy, don't be this guy:

Rest of them and the story behind them here.

Holy shit.

 

[Razilez]

Hey everyone,

So I've been rather unlucky in finding a woman in my personal life, so am taking an interest in paid-for online dating. I've tried using Bumble, Tinder and Plenty of Fish (non-paid). It's not been a huge success, had some match ups but nothing that has led to a date.

I was meant to meet up with a girl last saturday who I met on PoF. We had been messaging the whole week and were pretty into it. I asked if she was interested in meeting up and she agreed to it, so we then began discussing what to do and where to meet the evening before. The next day I message to ask what time we should meet and I find she's blocked me, which stunned me but there you go! Got over it quick but that's the closest I've gotten to meeting a woman online.

So I'm considering a paid-for service but am unsure. I'm curious to try Match.com for 6 months or even OkCupid but I just don't know. Are any of these services worth paying for? I live in London so there's a lot of women but I don't want to put my money down for fake profiles or people who aren't serious. I've not found much success with free apps like Tinder or PoF, just women who don't respond when matched. Has anyone tried any of these and had a great deal of success in dating women?

What would you all recommend I do? Cheers in advance

 

[Assanova]

Hey everyone,

So I've been rather unlucky in finding a woman in my personal life, so am taking an interest in paid-for online dating. I've tried using Bumble, Tinder and Plenty of Fish (non-paid). It's not been a huge success, had some match ups but nothing that has led to a date.

I was meant to meet up with a girl last saturday who I met on PoF. We had been messaging the whole week and were pretty into it. I asked if she was interested in meeting up and she agreed to it, so we then began discussing what to do and where to meet the evening before. The next day I message to ask what time we should meet and I find she's blocked me, which stunned me but there you go! Got over it quick but that's the closest I've gotten to meeting a woman online.

So I'm considering a paid-for service but am unsure. I'm curious to try Match.com for 6 months or even OkCupid but I just don't know. Are any of these services worth paying for? I live in London so there's a lot of women but I don't want to put my money down for fake profiles or people who aren't serious. I've not found much success with free apps like Tinder or PoF, just women who don't respond when matched. Has anyone tried any of these and had a great deal of success in dating women?

What would you all recommend I do? Cheers in advance

Stick with Tinder. I wouldn't pay for Match. Although I got a lot of dates from Match, I got even more from Tinder. If you don't know this already, if your Tinder matches have dried up, just delete and recreate it.

Also, online dating is all about patience. It took me roughly five months of dating to find my current girlfriend, and we are an absolute perfect match. No complaints whatsoever. I think that it is all about timing. Just gather a few great pictures, trust the process, and avoid screwing up when a potential girl does come along.

 

[Assanova]

To add to the above, I totally understand if a guy really is unattractive, and can't really help it, however, I don't think that it is the reason why most men who can't get dates, don't. I was talking with a friend who has difficulty getting dates and he is a much more physically attractive guy than me. I didn't have the problems that he did with getting dates.

Outside of poor communication skills, I feel like guys who have difficulty getting dates have difficulty because they aren't putting their best selves forward. A lot of dating is minimizing the list of reasons for women not to date you. This includes having a crappy career, no ambition, no social life, no money, no college education, no presentable car, no presentable clothing, no apartment of their own, and no muscles.

I've talked to women and have seen profiles of quite a few men, and most of the men who are doing poorly are lacking basic things that most men should have if they are hoping to be able to compete for dates. It's not like these women have told me that they just didn't feel anything for the guy(s). They've told me things like "guy still lived with his mom", "guy works as a cashier", "guy couldn't afford to put gas in his car", "guy dropped out of college", "guy constantly talked about sex on the first date". If you have taken care of business and have your finances, career, health, communication skills, education, and social life in order, you should have absolutely no problems getting dates.

 

[Razilez]

Stick with Tinder. I wouldn't pay for Match. Although I got a lot of dates from Match, I got even more from Tinder. If you don't know this already, if your Tinder matches have dried up, just delete and recreate it.

Also, online dating is all about patience. It took me roughly five months of dating to find my current girlfriend, and we are an absolute perfect match. No complaints whatsoever. I think that it is all about timing. Just gather a few great pictures, trust the process, and avoid screwing up when a potential girl does come along.

Yeah can imagine it might take a while. I'm great when it comes to meeting people but I find the online aspect of chatting a lot more difficult. I think it's because it's not a fluid chat, there's gaps and waiting for the replies and all sorts. When it comes to meeting someone in person I have no issues. I'm a confident, upbeat kind of guy but that's hard to show by merely messaging. It's difficult getting a know a girl or find a match, let alone getting an actual date! Just hoping my luck changes. So i take it you didn't find Match.com worth the money?