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[gwailo]

Yeah can imagine it might take a while. I'm great when it comes to meeting people but I find the online aspect of chatting a lot more difficult. I think it's because it's not a fluid chat, there's gaps and waiting for the replies and all sorts. When it comes to meeting someone in person I have no issues. I'm a confident, upbeat kind of guy but that's hard to show by merely messaging. It's difficult getting a know a girl or find a match, let alone getting an actual date! Just hoping my luck changes.

That is why you 1) move away from the site/app and 2) set up a date as soon as possible. You mentioned that you were messaging for a week before asking the last girl out. In general, that is too long. You should be getting their number (don't bother with Facebook, Instagram, etc) and setting up a date within a few days, if that long.

A lot of people on OLD sites are content with having people as texting buddies (for the self esteem boost, their social anxiety, them being in a relationship, lying on their profile, etc) and will never actually go out with anyone. It's best to weed out those sorts of people as soon as possible. If they say "it's too soon" or "I need to get to know you more", move on. The actual date should be where you are getting to know someone, not by messaging someone for weeks or months before they deem you worthy to actually see them in person.

Also be specific and firm when asking someone out - "let's meet a XYZ at Saturday at 7 for a drink". Don't go back and forth deciding when/what to do - "do you maybe want to do something sometime?". It makes you look wishy/washy.

 

[Razilez]

That is why you 1) move away from the site/app and 2) set up a date as soon as possible. You mentioned that you were messaging for a week before asking the last girl out. In general, that is too long. You should be getting their number (don't bother with Facebook, Instagram, etc) and setting up a date within a few days, if that long.

A lot of people on OLD sites are content with having people as texting buddies (for the self esteem boost, their social anxiety, them being in a relationship, lying on their profile, etc) and will never actually go out with anyone. It's best to weed out those sorts of people as soon as possible. If they say "it's too soon" or "I need to get to know you more", move on. The actual date should be where you are getting to know someone, not by messaging someone for weeks or months before they deem you worthy to actually see them in person.

Also be specific and firm when asking someone out - "let's meet a XYZ at Saturday at 7 for a drink". Don't go back and forth deciding when/what to do - "do you maybe want to do something sometime?". It makes you look wishy/washy.

Good advice! Yeah I wasn't sure if it was enough time or not, but her agreeing to it and then blocking me was a bit off. I'll be quicker to ask a girl on a date! It's gonna take time I know but I guess I'll see what happens (if anything). Any other advice for online dating stuff? Tbf this thread is full of information so could just look through it all.

EDIT: Also as an Actor, is it ok you think to use a headshot as my profile picture? That's what I have currently

 

[Lulubop]

Mad numbers, mad flakes this week. Should have a few different girls available Saturday tho. Something planned on Sunday already, hopefully not a flake.

 

[gwailo]

Good advice! Yeah I wasn't sure if it was enough time or not, but her agreeing to it and then blocking me was a bit off. I'll be quicker to ask a girl on a date! It's gonna take time I know but I guess I'll see what happens (if anything). Any other advice for online dating stuff? Tbf this thread is full of information so could just look through it all.

EDIT: Also as an Actor, is it ok you think to use a headshot as my profile picture? That's what I have currently

That is ok. Generally, it is good to have one close up, one full body, one showing you with other people (shows you are not a shut in) and one with you doing a hobby/activity (shows you do things other than sit on a phone browsing through profiles).

Some rules of thumb:

Don't get too invested in someone before meeting them. People can look perfect on their profiles and your chats might be going well, but you can meet someone and realize there's no real spark within a minute.

To that end, do not make the first date a big deal. Coffee/drinks/a walk is fine. If you hit it off, you can always do something more. But if you're stuck with someone you're not getting along with, having to finish dinner/play/movie is horrible. Not to mention you will save money. Part of OLD is playing a numbers game, you're going to go on a lot of dates and most of them aren't going to lead to anything long-term, so do not blow your wad early and do expensive dinners, presents, etc. If a woman is demanding it, she is most likely a mooch/gold-digger that is not worth your time.

Speaking of time, if someone says they are too busy to meet up with you, it's a bullshit excuse.

Keep an eye out for key words/phrases for profiles to stay away from:
"I don't want any drama"
"Where are all the good men?"
"I want to be treated like a queen/princess/diva"
"My job/kids/God is number 1 in my life"
"If you're looking to hook up, move on"
That godawful Marilyn Monroe quote

Women tend to ghost a lot instead of just saying no, even after they have messaged with you. Don't take it personally.

 

[Razilez]

That is ok. Generally, it is good to have one close up, one full body, one showing you with other people (shows you are not a shut in) and one with you doing a hobby/activity (shows you do things other than sit on a phone browsing through profiles).

Some rules of thumb:

Don't get too invested in someone before meeting them. People can look perfect on their profiles and your chats might be going well, but you can meet someone and realize there's no real spark within a minute.

To that end, do not make the first date a big deal. Coffee/drinks/a walk is fine. If you hit it off, you can always do something more. But if you're stuck with someone you're not getting along with, having to finish dinner/play/movie is horrible. Not to mention you will save money. Part of OLD is playing a numbers game, you're going to go on a lot of dates and most of them aren't going to lead to anything long-term, so do not blow your wad early and do expensive dinners, presents, etc. If a woman is demanding it, she is most likely a mooch/gold-digger that is not worth your time.

Speaking of time, if someone says they are too busy to meet up with you, it's a bullshit excuse.

Keep an eye out for key words/phrases for profiles to stay away from:
"I don't want any drama"
"Where are all the good men?"
"I want to be treated like a queen/princess/diva"
"My job/kids/God is number 1 in my life"
"If you're looking to hook up, move on"
That godawful Marilyn Monroe quote

Women tend to ghost a lot instead of just saying no, even after they have messaged with you. Don't take it personally.

See thing is I'm unsure how to approach the women online. They're highly unlikely to contact me, so when it comes to trying to strike up a convo by emailing them first I'm at a loss as to what's good. I've tried to take something from their profile and ask about it or speak about similar interests, other women I've just said a simple "Hi " and that's it. I've sent about 20 messages or so to women and received nothing back and I'm sure that number is going to go into the hundreds. I just want to know if there's a key to striking up a convo and getting it to go somewhere.

I feel like there's some sort of limbo where nothing is going anywhere because like I say there hasn't been a single match up or conversation between anyone. Not just on sites like Match.com but Tinder and Bumble. Tried Plenty of Fish which had some potential and did get good convo's going, only for the women to randomly cut me off when things seemed good.

Bit of a minefield but that's gonna happen. There's plenty of fish in the sea but there's also lots of old boots, rusty tin cans and other crap too!

EDIT: Also, how soon is "soon" to ask a girl out for a coffee/date? Like how many message interactions does there have to be, cause I know you said it took too long for the week chat I had with one girl. Like a couple of days or messages and then ask, or soon as?

 

[Salamando]

See thing is I'm unsure how to approach the women online. They're highly unlikely to contact me, so when it comes to trying to strike up a convo by emailing them first I'm at a loss as to what's good. I've tried to take something from their profile and ask about it or speak about similar interests, other women I've just said a simple "Hi " and that's it. I've sent about 20 messages or so to women and received nothing back and I'm sure that number is going to go into the hundreds. I just want to know if there's a key to striking up a convo and getting it to go somewhere.

To give you an idea of what to expect, we consider a 20% response rate to be damn good. The vast majority of your messages will go unanswered. With how streaky it tends to be, 20 messages and no responses isn't that surprising.

"Hi " is just a terrible intro. It puts the onus on the girl to start the conversation. Asking a question, any question, is better. Asking about a pic works, so can just asking "Pizza, Tacos, or Sushi?" Keep it simple, easy to read, and easy to respond to.

 

[Razilez]

To give you an idea of what to expect, we consider a 20% response rate to be damn good. The vast majority of your messages will go unanswered. With how streaky it tends to be, 20 messages and no responses isn't that surprising.

"Hi " is just a terrible intro. It puts the onus on the girl to start the conversation. Asking a question, any question, is better. Asking about a pic works, so can just asking "Pizza, Tacos, or Sushi?" Keep it simple, easy to read, and easy to respond to.

See I thought it was a terrible reply, yet that's strangely how some girls would message me. I mean I have no issue with it personally but I imagine women don't care for those who aren't putting any effort in. They probably get a lot of messages from guys, so weedling the good ones out from the bad is an effort and things like "Hey" just won't cut it. Yeah I tend to look at their profiles and try and comment on something they've said about themselves or interests. Again no responses to these either so not much I can do but keep plugging on. Also when it is going well I cant quite gauge how long it should be before I ask if they're interested in meeting up. Can be quite the question mark :S

 

[Salamando]

See I thought it was a terrible reply, yet that's strangely how some girls would message me. I mean I have no issue with it personally but I imagine women don't care for those who aren't putting any effort in. They probably get a lot of messages from guys, so weedling the good ones out from the bad is an effort and things like "Hey" just won't cut it. Yeah I tend to look at their profiles and try and comment on something they've said about themselves or interests. Again no responses to these either so not much I can do but keep plugging on. Also when it is going well I cant quite gauge how long it should be before I ask if they're interested in meeting up. Can be quite the question mark :S

There's a large gulf between what women can get away with sending and what guys can. It's a girls' market, so it's okay for them to let the gents start the convo.

I've never had much luck commenting on stuff specific to their profile/interests; likely was mentioning things too specific that they may have forgotten even writing. What worked better was asking questions about their pictures. Though if a girl likes you enough, she'll respond to whatever question you give.

Ask to meet up early. 15 Messages total isn't too soon. That's enough to establish there's actual conversation to be had. Getting to know each other and all that junk should be reserved for the first date.

 

[Razilez]

There's a large gulf between what women can get away with sending and what guys can. It's a girls' market, so it's okay for them to let the gents start the convo.

I've never had much luck commenting on stuff specific to their profile/interests; likely was mentioning things too specific that they may have forgotten even writing. What worked better was asking questions about their pictures. Though if a girl likes you enough, she'll respond to whatever question you give.

Ask to meet up early. 15 Messages total isn't too soon. That's enough to establish there's actual conversation to be had. Getting to know each other and all that junk should be reserved for the first date.

It's expected I guess, have to make more of an effort to get noticed if their inbox will be full of messages.

I've tried being intentionally cheesy and it's somehow worked, well on a couple of women. Just have to gauge them based on their profiles and see what works. What specifically do you comment on with pictures? Like one girl I asked about the dog she was holding in her profile pic but nothing.

Yeah trying to get enough replies before asking for a meet up can be the issue, as they do seem to run out of steam before I can even ask them.

 

[Salamando]

It's expected I guess, have to make more of an effort to get noticed if their inbox will be full of messages.

I've tried being intentionally cheesy and it's somehow worked, well on a couple of women. Just have to gauge them based on their profiles and see what works. What specifically do you comment on with pictures? Like one girl I asked about the dog she was holding in her profile pic but nothing.

Yeah trying to get enough replies before asking for a meet up can be the issue, as they do seem to run out of steam before I can even ask them.

I'll comment on just about anything. I just make sure to include a bit of my personality when asking it. For example, "Where was that pic of you in the harbor taken? There's way too much sun for it to be in <city>" or "Are you secretly a vampire? There's a pic of you that's clearly from the 80's, and you haven't aged a day! Plus you say you work in medicine...could easily be a cover to get access to all that sweet, sweet blood!" (her profile had a pic of her at an 80's party). All stuff that's easy to read, and easy to respond to, if they want to. Even a well-crafted message won't get a response if the girl just ain't interested.

If the conversation runs out of steam in under 15 messages or 2-3 days, you're not losing anything.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

I'll comment on just about anything. I just make sure to include a bit of my personality when asking it. For example, "Where was that pic of you in the harbor taken? There's way too much sun for it to be in <city>" or "Are you secretly a vampire? There's a pic of you that's clearly from the 80's, and you haven't aged a day! Plus you say you work in medicine...could easily be a cover to get access to all that sweet, sweet blood!" (her profile had a pic of her at an 80's party). All stuff that's easy to read, and easy to respond to, if they want to. Even a well-crafted message won't get a response if the girl just ain't interested.

If the conversation runs out of steam in under 15 messages or 2-3 days, you're not losing anything.

And sometimes, it's pure happenstance. Of all the girls I've met online and subsequently dated, they've commented that I've sent great messages. Of course, the problem is getting lost in a sea of misogynistic filth. Two depressing anecdotes, for instance--

My ex-wife only responded to my message because her gay friend wanted to try OKCupid and, naturally, that meant she needed to make a profile too. Which she created but then never checked. One day, he pestered her to check both of their accounts, and that's why my message appeared, and he thought I was cute and encouraged her to message me.

The girl I'm seeing now used everything. Tinder, OKCupid, Bumble. She could find a date in about 0.25 seconds. She went through a lull where she didn't check OKCupid for a while (and I suspected she wouldn't respond and dated others) until her sister paged through the messages, saw my headshot, said I was attractive, and told her to read my message. Which she did, in the car, while her sister was driving. We exchanged messages -- and then emails -- and it was my writing that really warmed her to me because she prized intelligence and the ability to communicate.

So yeah, messages are important, but so much of it depends on the black voodoo magic of where and when those messages are sent and received. You just can't control that.

 

[Jokab]

To add to the above, I've heard from pretty much every date that went somewhere, i.e. past first date, that they liked my first message and that I was different from everyone else. Only using Tinder, and I'm not looking only for casual sex, so being clever in my messages is what I needed. Sometimes it works, sometimes not.

 

[Razilez]

Great advice guys, much appreciated! I'm just going to have to be more creative with my first message. Something that shows a bit of my funny side perhaps, but again depends on who I'm messaging. Gotten some responses but won't look too into that and just go with the flow, and try my best not to get hung up on any of them as these things can sizzle out very quickly.

Also had a girl ask me for sex tonight but that's not what I'm in for! Still it's good to feel wanted, even if only for one night

 

[Jhoan]

Question guys: suggested meeting for drinks with a chick I'd been speaking to on Bumble, set the plans and gave her my number. She replied through the app. Should I be concerned and ask for hers or leave it be and wait until Tuesday rolls around (meet up date)? I don't care if it turns out to be a bust since I'm really not invested into actively seeking anything these days on account of having better things to do with my time.

Oh and speaking of Bumble, I got a new email with an update that gives women the option to Friend Zone dudes. On mobile, so I'll post the email pic once I get home.

 

[Lulubop]

Got like 8 pontiental dates this weekend. What do I do? I really wish people wouldn't flake on weekdays cause then this happens.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Question guys: suggested meeting for drinks with a chick I'd been speaking to on Bumble, set the plans and gave her my number. She replied through the app. Should I be concerned and ask for hers or leave it be and wait until Tuesday rolls around (meet up date)? I don't care if it turns out to be a bust since I'm really not invested into actively seeking anything these days on account of having better things to do with my time.

Oh and speaking of Bumble, I got a new email with an update that gives women the option to Friend Zone dudes. On mobile, so I'll post the email pic once I get home.

I didn't enter girls' names into my phone until I met them in person. Until then, they were area codes. So I get the idea of not clogging my phone with people I might never see again. You set plans, so just confirm them the day of. Don't worry about the number; I think because you're using Bumble it's a little different and you have cause to be slightly less concerned.

 

[Palpable]

Can someone please explain to me why I can go out of town amd get 25+ matches in a few days on tinder, and then come back home and struggle to get even 1 match in a longer span of time? Wtf

 

[ZackieChan]

Can someone please explain to me why I can go out of town amd get 25+ matches in a few days on tinder, and then come back home and struggle to get even 1 match in a longer span of time? Wtf

Some suggest deleting your account and starting a new one, I think.

 

[Dangerblade]

So I've been chatting to somebody on OkC for about 10 days now and we really like each other...but the slight problem is she's in another country. She said when we first messaged than she didn't want an LDR, and neither did I, but man...I can't stop thinking about her. I've pretty much lost interest in messaging other people on the site, people in my fucking hometown. I'm in the UK and this girl's in France BTW. Not a million miles but far enough.

I'm not sure what to do.

 

[ZackieChan]

Let it go. That's a huge pain in the ass. Plenty of local women!

 

[Lulubop]

Indeed

 

[Jhoan]

I didn't enter girls' names into my phone until I met them in person. Until then, they were area codes. So I get the idea of not clogging my phone with people I might never see again. You set plans, so just confirm them the day of. Don't worry about the number; I think because you're using Bumble it's a little different and you have cause to be slightly less concerned.

Update on this: My brother claimed that my social value had to be high to give my number out first to women and suggested that I asked for it so I did. However, she ended up texting me today so in the end I was overthinking about it and need to trust myself more often in the future. I still need to set the place but otherwise, texting has been kept to a minimum. And I agree that it's definitely the way Bumble operates that I'm getting used to.

I've also been talking to another girl I got matched up with since she had asked how to pronounce my name which made me laugh. It's two syllables, not 1 contrary to how it looks. I always tell people to think of the Spaniard surrealist painter Joán Miro. She was off the mark but close.

It's nice not to be juggling multiple messages at once although I still get the occasional like/visit on my OKC profile but nothing that's really stood out to me save for one visitor lately whom I've yet to message.

On another note, here's the BFF update I mentioned a few days ago:

 

[Lulubop]

I had a real nice date on Saturday with this girl I had a date with about a year ago. I thought she wasn't feeling it after that first date, she was but she had a lot going on. She even had to move back home for about a year to sort it out.

So Thursday I actually got a girls number at a bar, which is kinda crazy. What's crazier is her friend was the one who did the approaching and it turns out she's a model. We didn't hook that night but I did ask her for a date. So we went out yesterday, and I don't know. It didn't seem like she was really feeling it. I text her afterward and said I'd like to hang again, she agreed but we'll see.

In the meantime I have a ton of numbers from last week, but I'm not sure if I should even bother hitting them up again.

Also, no one is really coming close to that Greek girl and I'm not trying to settle for less. Man, she had me all fucked up.

 

[Palpable]

Some suggest deleting your account and starting a new one, I think.

I've done that multiple times. I think it's because I live in a transient city that also so happens to be full of fake/shallow people (Vegas).

 

[Razilez]

Had my first date with a girl I met online. It was rather good, she seemed interesting enough and was sweet. But here's the thing, I couldn't tell if I was actually attracted to her or not. I was um-ing and ah-ing for a long while after the date. I did say we'd meet again but the last few days I've realised I'm just not attracted to her. She's a great girl but she's hounding me with texts every day and saying she likes me, this wouldn't be an issue if I was really into the girl but I just don't want to be with her I feel bad for her and it's only been one date, but she's so forward and hung up on me it's making it difficult to want to have that second date and tell her I don't feel a spark between us. Like I say I could do it over text (which I never like to do), but I'm so busy atm that it wouldn't be until Sunday that I could potentially next see her. Should I just text her telling her I don't feel the same way?

 

[Palpable]

Had my first date with a girl I met online. It was rather good, she seemed interesting enough and was sweet. But here's the thing, I couldn't tell if I was actually attracted to her or not. I was um-ing and ah-ing for a long while after the date. I did say we'd meet again but the last few days I've realised I'm just not attracted to her. She's a great girl but she's hounding me with texts every day and saying she likes me, this wouldn't be an issue if I was really into the girl but I just don't want to be with her I feel bad for her and it's only been one date, but she's so forward and hung up on me it's making it difficult to want to have that second date and tell her I don't feel a spark between us. Like I say I could do it over text (which I never like to do), but I'm so busy atm that it wouldn't be until Sunday that I could potentially next see her. Should I just text her telling her I don't feel the same way?

Yes. This exact same thing happened to me last month. Just nip it in the bud before she develops more feelings.

 

[Jokab]

You've only met once, ending it over text is fine. You can say anything really, as long as it breaks it off. Don't waste her (or yours for that matter) time by meeting in person. Just say "I didn't feel the spark between us" and it's over.

 

[Razilez]

Cheers guys. Gonna write up a template and have a friend look it over before I send it. Stuff like this can be pretty hard, especially if the girl is genuinely a nice person who I share a lot in common with.

 

[Symphonia]

If you wanted to, you could also show us what you're going to say. I have a pretty good track record of ending shit/cutting ties over text, especially with clingy/needy girls. I'll be more than happy to help.

 

[Razilez]

If you wanted to, you could also show us what you're going to say. I have a pretty good track record of ending shit/cutting ties over text, especially with clingy/needy girls. I'll be more than happy to help.

Thanks for the offer but I had some lady friends from work help me out. I told her how I didn't feel a spark between us but had a lovely time meeting her. She responded not long after thanking me for my honesty and saying it was nice to meet me. Rather sweet end to it, even if I still feel guilty having to do that over text but it was one date. Have to say I feel more causious about meeting up again with someone, but I won't let it put me off.

 

[Jhoan]

I wasn't feeling it on this one but I think she would be good as a friend. Going to let the chick know later on if not tomorrow. She didn't look like her pics much but at least it was a good warm up for me. Personality wise she was cool. At least I'll make it home in time to see The Flash.

 

[Lulubop]

I wasn't feeling it on this one but I think she would be good as a friend. Going to let the chick know later on if not tomorrow. She didn't look like her pics much but at least it was a good warm up for me. Personality wise she was cool. At least I'll make it home in time to see The Flash.

Worse?

 

[ZackieChan]

I wasn't feeling it on this one but I think she would be good as a friend. Going to let the chick know later on if not tomorrow. She didn't look like her pics much but at least it was a good warm up for me. Personality wise she was cool. At least I'll make it home in time to see The Flash.

This should be required viewing for Dating-Age in what NOT to do. Haven't seen season 2, though. Maybe Barry becomes less of a beta

 

[Salamando]

This should be required viewing for Dating-Age in what NOT to do. Haven't seen season 2, though. Maybe Barry becomes less of a beta

Tonight's episode demonstrated the awkwardness of a coffee date when one party thinks its a date and the other doesn't. Yes, I'm serious.

 

[Jhoan]

Worse?

Not worse but she looked older in person (was 30). That being said, it wasn't a bad date per say since I've been through worse but I did want to leave to be able to catch said show that I looked at the time. To be frank, I was bored more than anything else since I yawned twice (also possibly from being tired).

On the plus side, I met a cute Greek girl who's another intern for the social media internship I'm doing yesterday. However, she seemed pretty innocent that she's a college freshman; her mom graduated from my alma mater and picked her up.

I'm looking forward to volunteering at that beer festival this weekend since last time I did it in the fall, I got hit on by a few attractive girls who were hammered but I was pretty oblivious to their signals. It's like every time I volunteer/work at an event, I shut off my flirting skills.

This should be required viewing for Dating-Age in what NOT to do. Haven't seen season 2, though. Maybe Barry becomes less of a beta

Nah, Barry still stays being a bit of a beta in the current season. His last love interest skipped town so as not to put herself in danger and put a damper his personal life. Superheroes can't catch a break when it comes to finding a long term relationship. At least Sisco made the best of his brief relationship with Kendra/Hawk Girl even if it was sappy and she left him for Hawk Man/The Atom. However, Sisco is still a chump sadly despite getting powers. It would cool for Barry to hook up with Super Girl since Jimmy won't pay attention to her and Wynn professed his love to her.

Tonight's episode demonstrated the awkwardness of a coffee date when one party thinks its a date and the other doesn't. Yes, I'm serious.

I think I know the scene that you're talking about and yeah that was awkward.

 

[UnemployedVillain]

Why does bumble have waaaay more attractive women on it?

I thought I was the only person who thought this, but the women on it are waay more attractive than on any other dating app. It's also the only one where I can swipe as much as I want and still not get any matches. Not a fan at all

 

[Jhoan]

I thought I was the only person who thought this, but the women on it are waay more attractive than on any other dating app. It's also the only one where I can swipe as much as I want and still not get any matches. Not a fan at all

I've noticed this in my neck of the woods as well which is pretty surprising. I've seen girls I spoke to in the past on Tinder and OKC that never went anywhere. I've swiped right hundreds of times and have only ended up with two matches after my return to the app with the aforementioned woman I went out with being one of them.

Then again, people have preferences that factor in; some girls might not like guys with long hair, others might like guys with glasses; some girls might not like dating Hispanics, other might be open to it, etc.. When in doubt, taking new pics might help.

 

[ZackieChan]

I thought I was the only person who thought this, but the women on it are waay more attractive than on any other dating app. It's also the only one where I can swipe as much as I want and still not get any matches. Not a fan at all

I think they must present you with the most-swiped people first, because after a while, it became all unattractive women. At first it was amazing. I think the algorithm is meant to keep you swiping.

 

[Lulubop]

So many flakes lately, shit is really annoying.

 

[davepoobond]

somewhat trying again, and got into an actual conversation with someone. asked if they wanted to meet up and they said "sorry, i'm not interested"

i guess its funny to get an actual response saying "no" after so many messages, not angry or anything. I usually just get no response at all after i ask if it gets to that point.

 

[Merino]

Barely any matches on Tinder, nothing happening on OKC (haven't been messaging actively but the few that I did sent haven't gotten any bites and barely any visitors or likes), Bumble and PoF have been useless for me since the start.

Been trying to play around with various profile pictures but haven't seen that much difference yet. I used to consider myself an 8+ in looks, having had quite a few very good looking girlfriends, but lately been thinking I may have been overestimating my looks by a long shot getting so few matches or responses and have just gotten lucky in the past.

Probably doesn't help that my ex turned her OKC profile on for 3 weeks, with no profile information except for a few photo's (few off them I didn't even think showcased her beauty that well) and has already found and started dating someone whom she considers a very good match.

Hopefully it picks up in April as it seems to do every year.

 

[ZackieChan]

Post those photos! Let's see

 

[Merino]

[edit]removed and creating anew[/edit]

Don't hold back

 

[Salamando]

Don't hold back

Not currently an OKC member, so I only have access to small 225x225 images. That said...

If you're gonna advertise Jim Morrison hair, you gotta bring Jim Morrison hair. Yours just doesn't have the volume...or the professional photographer...or his chin and cheekbones...or his effectiveness at posing with just the eyes.

Your best pic is the black-and-white one of you at a party. It's just perfect. Your smile is genuine, the lighting creates a clear jawline (jawlines are always sexy), and it shows you socializing without having the other party goers be more than peripheral entities. You're the focus.

Contrast that with the one in the bathroom. You look, at best, indifferent. At worst, sad. The lighting is just dull, the setting tells us nothing more than "you have access to a bathroom", and it just doesn't leave a lasting impression. Your profile paints you as a lover of life, but that pic just makes me think you've realized that life is meaningless.

 

[ZackieChan]

I'll add that the closet pic presents similar issues

 

[Merino]

If you're gonna advertise Jim Morrison hair, you gotta bring Jim Morrison hair. Yours just doesn't have the volume...or the professional photographer...or his chin and cheekbones...or his effectiveness at posing with just the eyes.

That's more of a inner circle joke (met the most amazing people due to The Doors connection) and I do have to say that I've gotten positive remarks on that silly comment. But yes probably should remove it until I can actually get a photo out that does prove I have an actual Morrison hair phase.

I agree that the club photo is the best I've got (and it's been my profile pic for a while now) and I should remove the bathroom/closet pic. Unfortunately haven't gotten a lot of responses yet based on the club photo and don't have any good alternatives.

I'm not terribly photogenic (or extremely handsome) but fortunately I do very well in conversation once out on a date so it's all about presenting the best shot and removing the discord in order to get to the meeting up phase.

Thanks for your comments

 

[ZackieChan]

Move the camera above your eyeline, not below. Try that. Most photos on there are from under your chin and they don't look good.

 

[Merino]

Move the camera above your eyeline, not below. Try that. Most photos on there are from under your chin and they don't look good.

Thanks for the advice. I hate taking selfies and it rarely works out the way I want it too. I tried doing a photo shoot with my brother but I really didn't like the results we got (he's not a professional photographer and it's a good camera in the right hands).

I need more good photo's in casual settings but my camera awareness (and awkwardness) is far too extreme and I have very few good ones available

 

[SpiritSlayer]

I need some advice. I'm currently on OKC trying to talk to people. I read their profiles and base my opening message on what I read. So far I've got a reply rate of 0 doing that. What do I need to change so I have a higher chance of getting a reply?

 

[Jhoan]

I need some advice. I'm currently on OKC trying to talk to people. I read their profiles and base my opening message on what I read. So far I've got a reply rate of 0 doing that. What do I need to change so I have a higher chance of getting a reply?

I think spouting random funny stuff works best. I've used the line "Who wins in the battle of good and evil? Godzilla or Harry Potter?" It's gotten me lots of replies. Just make something silly up. No need to bash your head against the wall wasting time coming up with a unique message for every single person. Life is too short for that.