SpiritSlayer
Member
I can do random. I'll give it a shot.
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
I can do random. I'll give it a shot.
ZackieChan
Member
Plus, it sets you up for the eventual "Phantom Menace and Chill" that has a high success rate.
ZackieChan
Member
Second online date down and I had a nice enough time with the girl but it wasn't meant to be. I found her to be attractive, intelligent and interesting but the problem is I found it very difficult to keep conversations going with her. It's like we were playing with a ball, I was all high in energy and when I passed it to her she just kept it. She seemed quite a mature woman whereas I'm still very much a big kid, so her humour isn't like mine and that's a shame. She was quite reserved whereas I'm not and so it felt like two opposites.
At the end I said I'd like to see her again and she was honest in the fact that we're both at different stages in life despite being similar ages. Completely right of course, I agreed with her and tbh the spark wasn't really there either. Lovely girl but it was not to be. Oh well!
At the end I said I'd like to see her again and she was honest in the fact that we're both at different stages in life despite being similar ages. Completely right of course, I agreed with her and tbh the spark wasn't really there either. Lovely girl but it was not to be. Oh well!
SpiritSlayer
Member
So random conversation starters work. Went from getting no replies to actually getting replies and attempting to get a girls number.
ZackieChan
Member
I was an awful law student. I had plenty of time!
Cow Mengde
Banned
I posted this in another thread, but I figured I should post it here as well.
I just read this article on online dating a few days ago.
This guy tried to pose as his friend on OKC for one year (was suppose to be a month, but ended up being one year) and posted the results. Not a single girl wanted to go out with him. He had his friend's permission to do that, and he just wanted to see how many girls would say yes to a date. He eventually ends up getting his girlfriend to help him, and he still failed.
The best part is they made a fake guy account with a good looking guy, and compared the results. That got really ugly.
http://my1yearexperiment.tumblr.com/post/129527329111/the-1-year-online-dating-experiment
I just read this article on online dating a few days ago.
This guy tried to pose as his friend on OKC for one year (was suppose to be a month, but ended up being one year) and posted the results. Not a single girl wanted to go out with him. He had his friend's permission to do that, and he just wanted to see how many girls would say yes to a date. He eventually ends up getting his girlfriend to help him, and he still failed.
The best part is they made a fake guy account with a good looking guy, and compared the results. That got really ugly.
http://my1yearexperiment.tumblr.com/post/129527329111/the-1-year-online-dating-experiment
That's damn good news to hear that it's working like a charm! It's easy to transition into a regular conversation after the initial few messages.
I've been telling my friend to do the same exact thing as he reactivated his OKC a fee days ago. His messages have ranged from hi (terrible) to my Godzilla/Harry Potter line and random lines from a Google search. I've been coaxing him into asking out a BBW who messaged him first since she has a decent face and he's never been on a date in his life. I think he's gonna go for it.
Not much of a big update from me other than that girls are coming in a massive wave for me on Bumble. Got a bunch of new matches and have been going back and forth with a cute law school student (see edited post above). Setting something up for next Tuesday so I should have her number soon. She met Justin Trudeau who looks like a boss even in the picture that she took with him. That man is the epitome of confidence. Been speaking to a few other girls one of which just back from vacation and is down to meet up for a pow-wow on Tuesday (I was buzzed when I wrote that).
Another girl on OKC messaged me a little bit after midnight on Saturday saying that she loves my hair wants to play with my it and would let me play with hers and even let me braid it. I haven't heard back from her since. It was a bit of a sexual innuendo and hilarious and she's attractive to boot but is a nurse so she probably will respond at an odd hour. I'm going to control the amount of girls I date going into April since my it's incredibly booked every single week starting this weekend.
Edit: @ZackieChan, good to know. Hopefully I can manage. Not sure how she's going to feel about me not caring about football at all save for during the Superbowl but we both like Junot Díaz, Lin-Manuel Miranda, beer, and have never seen a Tarantino film so fun times.
That is brutal. I always wonder about when and how the dating market will counterbalance. I mean, there aren't that many men to go around. At some point, if these women want relationships with men who aren't involved with other women, then the market will eventually have to counterbalance.
Hey folks,
I was just wondering if anyone could possibly critique my OkCupid profile?
Little rant:
Girlfriend and I broke up 5 months ago. We stupidly decided to remain friends. Last week, we got in a little argument and she tells me she has a booty call while she continues to go on dates with other men. This hurt me pretty bad and made me realize that I should probably just move on and make a bigger effort with online dating.
I decided to reactivate my Okcupid account! So far it's been pretty soul crushing and probably not helping my depression haha.
Any help would be amazing!
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/singher25
I was just wondering if anyone could possibly critique my OkCupid profile?
Little rant:
Girlfriend and I broke up 5 months ago. We stupidly decided to remain friends. Last week, we got in a little argument and she tells me she has a booty call while she continues to go on dates with other men. This hurt me pretty bad and made me realize that I should probably just move on and make a bigger effort with online dating.
I decided to reactivate my Okcupid account! So far it's been pretty soul crushing and probably not helping my depression haha.
Any help would be amazing!
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/singher25
Your URL is incomplete. It should look like http://www.okcupid.com/profile/<insert your OKC name here>
Whoops, sorry about that! I think i fixed it?
Yep, better.
Pics-wise, you have too many of you, by yourself, looking at the camera. Consider dropping 5&8. No way in hell will I tell you to drop the Zero Moustafa costume... Move the beach pic earlier, at least spot 3. It's the one pic that would be easiest for a girl to ask questions about. A closely cropped Pic 2 might work better for the main pic. Your hair looks good and it doesn't look like you have a scar in your eyebrow.
Your Aziz Ansari mention could easily implement this tweet - https://twitter.com/azizansari/status/208026105003778050.
Never neglect the favorite food area! So many possibilities there. Helps show where you might take girls on dates.
Saying "humanity has hit rock bottom" isn't a good note to (almost) end on.
Everyone's typical friday night involves friends and/or movies. You need something special there to stand out. Either go fantastical ("Boxing kangaroos in an underground Man vs Animal vs Robot fight club 'rule 1: tell everyone about MvAvR. It's alot of fun'") or get creative ("I pillage the local pubs and brewhalls with my mighty crew and drink until our ancestors are proud. Or we get kicked out").
Few simple grammar mistakes/suggestions. In the first section: "I also have mention that through". In the second, you start both paragraphs with "(i) currently". Incosistent punctuation at the end of your favorites. One just ends, a few use periods, one has a comma.
And if you're gonna say you're good at making people laugh, you have to include more things that make people laugh! Showing > telling.
Yikes, a lot to fix up. Thank you for the critique! I added some (possibly terrible) jokes and changed around quite a few things. Still trying to figure out how I can change that Ansari mention. Let me know if you think it's better. I'll crop the second picture tomorrow morning as well. I thought girls dig scars though! I gave myself that scar from walking into a door while being in a state of drowsiness before heading into class sigh.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
This is a good read, but mostly unsurprising. A short Asian guy not having success in online dating is the reality.
iRAWRasaurus
Banned
Hey guys, I was wondering if I could get some advice. A few months ago on match.com, someone gave a wink and liked my picture. I thought she was cute and liked her picture and sent her a message. However she never responded. As of now my match.com subscription has ran out. Last week she, same girl as a few months ago, gave me another wink and today she has sent me 2 messages.
What I would like advice is should I get a subscription again to read what she sent and answer her back?
What I would like advice is should I get a subscription again to read what she sent and answer her back?
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Well, first off--
Yeah, me too. I mastered annotating my textbooks and I can't say that I ever briefed cases. My 3L year was a whirlwind of using OKCupid and dating grad students. The more things change . . . . Anyway, there's nothing special about law school versus any other graduate program: she'll either be busy -- or think that she has to be busy because her peers are -- and you'll need to be prepared to deal with that.
Otherwise, enjoy. And be prepared to help her relieves some stress. Oh, and if you two do hit it off, you might get invited to law student-only gatherings, which are going to drive you absolutely crazy because they're only going to talk about classes, job prospects, and incestuous gossip. It truly is its own little world, but it's like that for any grad student, I think.
What does a subscription cost? Also, are you even sure this is a real person? Match is reputable, but I recall other sites tossing likes/winks/whatever people's way in order to induce them to subscribe.
But the salient question is the price. I "subscribed" to OKCupid and thought it was wholly worthwhile, but then again, a month was the price of lunch.
ZackieChan
Member
Breh, I didn't even BUY textbooks half the time. Didn't read cases. I got called on in Torts to discuss Hustler defaming Jerry Falwell once, and luckily I'd seen The People vs Larry Flynt and could describe the case
Law student gatherings are lame, for exactly why you said. I tried to hang out with as many non-law people as I could. It really helps you get out of that mindset and relax. I was a 32-year-old when I entered law school, though. I had a much different perspective, and it felt like a vacation compared to working and going to school for the last few years, both full time.
RE: paid dating sites - it can definitely help. You get what you pay for, most of the time.
Nothing. Be yourself. Women have a ton of choices and can be as picky as they please. Don't pretend to be someone you're not. The right person will come along eventually.
SpiritSlayer
Member
Just got my first number on OKC. Gonna see if I can set something up for this weekend. I'm pretty stoked. Thanks for the advice Jhoan!
I see. It sounds a lot like your typical STEM major who eats books 24/7. As an Art/Media double major, my stresses were more about how much money I had to spend on a tiny handful of supplies that easily ran into the double/triple digits and staying in the studio past midnight painting only to scramble in the morning to finish up a piece or print out photos and edit videos. The worst thing I did to myself was pull an all nighter copying and pasting code for my game programming final to have a working game to show. I never had to worry about exams all that much save for art history classes and a color theory class.
If anything, I would be the guy in the corner of the room sketching people surreptitiously to entertain myself in those law student gatherings only to gain curious eyes. Especially because of my hair. It sounds a lot like going to an art gallery and being among mostly fake, pretentious people munching on the droves of free food and drinks. Seeing as she goes to one of the most well known law schools in the city not named NYU Law School or Columbia, it sounds like it would be an interesting experience. Relieving stress I can do because it sounds like she's going to need it.
That being said, I'm meeting up with her next Tuesday evening after her classes end so it should be fun. She's originally from the midwest so what can possibly go wrong by hanging out with a city boy?
On another note, I'm meeting up with another chick for Starbucks and a walk through the park later today. I'm not sure what to expect other than to talk about her Caribbean vacation and her name sounding similar to a certain American car brand that I will no doubt tease her about. My therapist made me promise him that I would ask girls out a second time even if I wasn't feeling it the first time before the next session I see him and cited Aziz Ansari's book; I'm a one/two date wonder in my personal dating record.
^^^My pleasure SpiritSlayer! You're growing wings already man and making everyone proud. I'm surprised it's on a weekend since most girls typically have plans but it seems like you caught her early so good luck!
iRAWRasaurus
Banned
It was $30 for 3 months so I said why not. Well She is an actual person and we message a little bit this morning. Any suggestions what I should say in my messages?
Been a shitty last few weeks. Flaked on a ton, flaked on a ton myself, regressing back into depression over this Greek girl, though she's just a contributing factor. Most of my friends sorta suck at being moral supports, and the ones that don't are fwb. It all feels very unsatisfying, and lonely. I shouldn't have bailed on bar hopping with some nyc gaffers last Sat but I was feeling a little crappy.
Hahaha, you'll be fine man. The only way you're gonna grow is by getting outside that bubble and facing your fears head on. They're only human.So I've decided to go down this rabbit hole that is online dating. I'm a more reserved individual so it's a little more difficult for me to break out of my comfort zone and meet new people.
*Five minutes after creating a profile*
So I met up with a new girl a few minutes ago. She was cute. Reminded me of the old volunteer coordinator from NY Comic Con. She was a bit nervous. I was overthinking about making out with her so I hugged her. The Mark Manson article someone posted in the Dating-Age thread about making out kept ringing through my head. Had a few opportunities to do it but I thought it went well otherwise. I'll definitely be seeing her again. She was laughing at my jokes the whole time while my dumb ass was slightly awkward but I wasn't nervous.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
Ok, so had a cute girl on OkCupid reply to one of my messages, we talked briefly about anime, and when I brought up the subject of actually dating she said "maybe if I have time". So much for that. We weren't really that compatible anyway given our low match percentage. I should take this as a sign of progress, slow as it is. She was interested enough to properly read my profile after I suggested that we go get coffee sometime, so I might not be hideous after all (low self esteem talking here). Of course something will happen to bring me back down to earth, so I should ride this 'finally some real progress after 6 months of nothing after graduating uni' high while I still can.
Suggesting to get "coffee some time" isn't good enough man since it comes off as being wishy-washy. Gotta go the Aziz Ansari way of being firm and saying "Let's get coffee at Starbucks on x day at x time." Firm, direct, plans laid out, done. Girls can answer right away if that day works. The same thing can apply to meeting with guy friends since saying we "should hang out one of these days" versus a specific day with a plan and time is a world of difference.
SpiritSlayer
Member
Counted my chickens before they hatched, so I didn't set anything up. I've never been on a date before so the entire prospect terrifies me. I wouldn't even know where to begin if I did ask someone out.
ZackieChan
Member
It's actually the easiest part:
"Let's meet up for a (coffee date/drink) at (cafe/bar name) on Saturday at 8!"
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
I'm gonna try to get back into the online dating scene again.
I'm a glutton for punishment.
I'm a glutton for punishment.
SpiritSlayer
Member
That's part of the reason why I psyche myself out actually haha. The other part being if I do meet someone what do I do and how do I appear interesting during the date.
ZackieChan
Member
Just talk to them? And have interesting things to talk about.
Gotta get the date first, bro.
You lawyer boys were right! Law school girl told me doesn't know what kind of time she has in the next couple of weeks but said that she would keep me posted. It's all a patient game with her as AD said. I'm going to get increasingly busier in the coming weeks so I think I can I manage and will let her know of my Boston trip. I really hit it off with so I think there will be pay off for being patient and understanding. Plus she's a red head so what's not to like?
In the meantime, I have a date with a new girl next week and gotta respond to a bunch of messages on OKC.
In the meantime, I have a date with a new girl next week and gotta respond to a bunch of messages on OKC.
Head of Vengarl
Banned
What's the best website/app for just messaging? I have zero experience with this stuff but I feel like I should work on my conversation skills a bit. I broke up with my long-term gf almost a year and a half ago now, so I'm worried I might be getting rusty at talking to women. But I'm still not ready to actually date yet.
ZackieChan
Member
Why aren't you ready to date?
You can talk to anyone IRL. That's probably better practice than messaging - you should be minimizing the amount of messaging you do anyway.
ZackieChan
Member
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
I'd sign up for that. It's so hard to make dude friends.
I would subscribe to your site as a better way to meet men.
Had three dates in the last week, hooked up with one but all three were down to kick it again. I can't say I feel the same. We'll see.
On the other hand I'm still being haunted by the Greek girl. I had to let this amazing, gorgeous, intelligent girl i had been talking to off because I didn't want to be unfair. I don't want to sound like some hopeless romantic, but there was just about that Greek girl, something instantaneous. I'm looking for that spark and I really don't want to settle for less.
On the other hand I'm still being haunted by the Greek girl. I had to let this amazing, gorgeous, intelligent girl i had been talking to off because I didn't want to be unfair. I don't want to sound like some hopeless romantic, but there was just about that Greek girl, something instantaneous. I'm looking for that spark and I really don't want to settle for less.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Just remember that feelings build over time. I almost feel like I'm full of shit for saying this, because I felt "it" with the Brazilian girl (current girlfriend) about 10 minutes in, but I'd just caution you to give things some time if you're on the fence. Obviously, you know when you feel nothing and it'll be a waste of time. We've both been there. But if there's anyone that makes you feel maybe, I'd say to give them another chance.
Me and my current girlfriend didn't have that "spark" initially on our first date, we got on really well, and could both tell there was something there but it definitely wasn't a "spark" as such. The more we've met up and got to know each other properly, the more we've gained that spark and we're both incredibly happy now.
Sometimes it doesn't happen straight away, expecting someone to be 100% themselves with you on a first date is expecting too much imo, a lot of people are nervous or shy and don't fully express themselves, so that spark wont be there until they feel completely comfortable with you.
Unfortunately love and sparks or whatever isn't like it is in cinema - it takes time most of the time.
Sometimes it doesn't happen straight away, expecting someone to be 100% themselves with you on a first date is expecting too much imo, a lot of people are nervous or shy and don't fully express themselves, so that spark wont be there until they feel completely comfortable with you.
Unfortunately love and sparks or whatever isn't like it is in cinema - it takes time most of the time.
True Savior
Member
Bumble now has an option to just meet friends. Guys or girls, as long as they also check that option.