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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond

I

iMAGINATION

Banned
So I decided to try OKC to meet people. So far it's been going well, a lot of great conversations. I have a serious problem of replying to every guy that messages me but I feel bad when I don't reply especially if the message was based on my profile.
 
G

GatorBait

Member
MMarston said:
If I had a nickle for every dog joke I've come across on Tinder..

There's also the regular amount of high school teenagers who pretty much regret lying about their age to get into FB all those years ago.
Click to expand...

Haha, these are both good, too. What do you mean by dog joke? Because a sort of obnoxious/lame line that I thought about listing that I've seen many variations of is, "My dog is probably cooler than you."

Also, good call on the age thing. The funny thing is when you can tell they haven't made the connection to falsifying their age on Facebook - "I have no idea why this lists me as 30. I'm actually 25."
 
G

GatorBait

Member
iMAGINATION said:
So I decided to try OKC to meet people. So far it's been going well, a lot of great conversations. I have a serious problem of replying to every guy that messages me but I feel bad when I don't reply especially if the message was based on my profile.
Click to expand...

Are these all guys that you are interested in?

I started out the same way; it felt sort of rude to just ignore people when they message you, but then I figured out the unspoken etiquette is that if you aren't interested, it is often most efficient and straightforward for everyone involved to just ignore the message. If you aren't interested, at some point you'll have to: 1) start ignoring them anyway, which will make them feel worse because they'll think you were interested and then ghosted, or 2) tell them you aren't interested in meeting them, which can make some people feel like you wasted their time/led them on.

Just something to think about.
 
M

MMarston

Was getting caught part of your plan?
GatorBait said:
Haha, these are both good, too. What do you mean by dog joke? Because a sort of obnoxious/lame line that I thought about listing that I've seen many variations of is, "My dog is probably cooler than you."

Also, good call on the age thing. The funny thing is when you can tell they haven't made the connection to falsifying their age on Facebook - "I have no idea why this lists me as 30. I'm actually 25."
Click to expand...

Pretty much

"I liked you for your dog"
"You need to like my dog or it's over"
"Hey my face is a dog"
 
I

iMAGINATION

Banned
GatorBait said:
Are these all guys that you are interested in?

I started out the same way; it felt sort of rude to just ignore people when they message you, but then I figured out the unspoken etiquette is that if you aren't interested, it is often most efficient and straightforward for everyone involved to just ignore the message. If you aren't interested, at some point you'll have to: 1) start ignoring them anyway, which will make them feel worse because they'll think you were interested and then ghosted, or 2) tell them you aren't interested in meeting them, which can make some people feel like you wasted their time/led them on.

Just something to think about.
Click to expand...
No but I feel it's rude to ignore people too. I'll start to delete/ignore messages then, I don't want to lead anyone on.
 
G

GK86

Homeland Security Fail
iMAGINATION said:
No but I feel it's rude to ignore people too. I'll start to delete/ignore messages then, I don't want to lead anyone on.
Click to expand...

If you message someone back, more often than not, they will think you are interested. Guys (or at least the ones with some experience under their belt) will know you aren't interested if you don't message them back.
 
F

foxuzamaki

Doesn't read OPs, especially not his own
So not only have I hit it off with someone on okcupid today, got her number and have been currently texting eachother, but I managed to convince her that the WiiU is awesome, I think Ive had a job well done
 
M

MMarston

Was getting caught part of your plan?
It's pretty hilarious how immediate and obvious Tinder turns into a botfest once you dial up the age to 23.
 
U

User 479360

Banned
I posted an ad on Craigslist. This wasn't the first time, and wasn't the first time in recent memory either. I got one or two replies, but nothing great, including a girl who I seemed to be doing well talking to until she stopped talking. But it is what it is.

Tonight, I went to the movies and checked my email. I saw a message from someone else, after I'd pretty much given up hope on the several day old ad. She seemed really nice, smart and said she was quite nerdy. All good things.

We've exchanged several emails, and she added me on BBM. It's going well so far, and we seem to share a lot of interests. She likes video games and wants to play Zelda with me, and is just getting into horror movies but finds them scary. I enjoy watching the good ones.

She lives nearby, too, which surprised me. Most replies I get are from an hour away.

Here's hoping things work out. I'm worried she's far too cute for me, but here's hoping.

EDIT: I also deleted and recreated my PoF account. A friend told me some ways she'd improve it, so I did. It was time for a refresh. I deleted Tinder, too.
 
A

Assanova

Member
MMarston said:
It's pretty hilarious how immediate and obvious Tinder turns into a botfest once you dial up the age to 23.
Click to expand...

The bots are pretty easy to spot. Their profiles usually have 3-4 pictures with the same washed-out photo filter and no profile written. Some also have bogus sounding schools listed that make no sense, i.e. New Zealand Science School of Technology Science.
 
U

User 479360

Banned
ZackieChan said:
Hang on to your kidneys, bro. Meet in a public place.
Click to expand...

Thanks. I will.

She seems legitimate. Incredibly pretty and dauntingly so, but legitimate. I looked her up on Facebook by spelling her unusual first name and found her profile. Not that that proves anything, but it at least helps a bit.
 
A

ArgyleReptile

Banned
Hug, just realized I play it quite safe when I'm not face to face with real people. This might be a problem with my messages. At least, the "flirty" aspect.
 
U

User 479360

Banned
Palpable said:
A craigslist ad...? How exactly do you word such a thing?
Click to expand...

With letters, of course.

Seriously, though: I figured I'd try just about anything. I put a couple of ads up on Craigslist, and this isn't the first time I've done so. Though I've never really been that lucky, or met anyone off of there.

There is a relationship section where people post ads if they're looking. It's not too busy, and Craigslist's time in the spotlight -- in Canada, at least -- seems to have passed it by, especially thanks to Kijiji....but I did get a couple of replies this time.

A lot of the times, the people who reply are female professionals.

I'm talking to this girl and one other. The other has a lot of depression issues like myself, though, and I don't know if it will work out due to that and other things.

This girl is incredibly hot, though. It seems too good to be true. Although, from all accounts, she does seem real. We talked quite a bit yesterday.

I took GAF's advice and tried to get her to agree to meet soon, but she wants to talk more, to gauge my personality and make sure I'm not a murderer.
 
Rest

Rest

All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
Logged back in to OKC just to see what new people were on, and I'd gotten a response from someone that I'm pretty sure I sent a message to about a year ago. The last time I was one I deleted a bunch of old outgoing messages, so I have no idea what I even said to this person.
 
T

True Savior

Member
OCDChewie said:
This girl is incredibly hot, though. It seems too good to be true. Although, from all accounts, she does seem real. We talked quite a bit yesterday.

I took GAF's advice and tried to get her to agree to meet soon, but she wants to talk more, to gauge my personality and make sure I'm not a murderer.
Click to expand...

Google-reverse her photos. Then mirror them and do it again.

If nothing appears, at least she won't be a dumb kidney-thief.
 
J

Jhoan

Member
Been quiet lately but I'm finally happy to say that I met up with the Harvard grad this morning after weeks of texting banter and she's incredibly intelligent and fascinating. I've never gone out with a doctor before so it was cool to see we had a few things in common as well as stories to swap meeting Junot Díaz.

Unfortunately she had to cut it short since she had a brunch to get to but it went pretty well. I'll follow up her some time tonight if not tomorrow. Hopefully this will lead to something but as with the nature of online dating, people can have a change of heart in hours if not a day.

The last wave I had with girls fizzled as soon as it began and even attempts to message new girls has led to replies with sentences and no questions being asked. Never managed to hook up with anyone in Boston despite swiping like crazy on Tinder/Bumble and being on OKC agressively.

In a lot of cases, it comes and it goes but I'm at a point where I'd be happy to date a small handful of girls more seriously as opposed to several girls a week. Trying not to think so much with my dong hence feeling odd about being back on Tinder but I'll keep it for now.

In any case, since I'm around the area, I'll probably meet up with another girl tonight. Funny enough, she shares the same name as the girl I'd gone out with earlier.
 
M

MMarston

Was getting caught part of your plan?
Managed to lock a Tinder date with an out of towner who's just moved here for the summer, so I guess there's a good advantage between us in that there will be no shortage of conversation.
 
A

ArgyleReptile

Banned
Got ghosted, got sad, but I got over it.

Snazzed up my profile and plan to make it an effort to take more pics this week. Also will be more proactive with my conversation messages.

And just got messaged by a cam girl. Will the wonders of this site never cease?
 
M

Madrin

Member
I’ve been chatting with a girl on OKC the past couple of days who I’m starting to like. She’s got that “awkward and introverted, but funny and cute” type of personality, which I’m usually not into but she pulls it off in a way that does it for me. Only problem is she lives 300 miles away :|

It seems like all the profiles I like are girls who don’t live anywhere close to me. I’m not sure how this girl even showed up for me since my distance range isn’t set that high.
 
S

Salamando

Member
Madrin said:
I’ve been chatting with a girl on OKC the past couple of days who I’m starting to like. She’s got that “awkward and introverted, but funny and cute” type of personality, which I’m usually not into but she pulls it off in a way that does it for me. Only problem is she lives 300 miles away :|

It seems like all the profiles I like are girls who don’t live anywhere close to me. I’m not sure how this girl even showed up for me since my distance range isn’t set that high.
Click to expand...

OKC has two locations per user, internally: The one users set, and the one users' phones tell them. That second one supercedes the first, meaning the girl would show on your list if she was visiting your town (or you were visiting hers).
 
U

User 479360

Banned
I'm still talking to the hot girl from Craigslist. We've talked a lot, and it's going really well. She's got a great sense of humour, and is easy to talk to.

Last night, I thought I was getting a cold and told her, and she said she had been wondering what I was doing today, because she thought maybe we could get a coffee. But that, if I was sick, it wasn't a good idea.

I've got a bit of a head cold today. It could be bad allergies, but I doubt it. I don't want to put off meeting her in fear of losing the opportunity, because she seems so great, but she should understand. Meeting hasn't been mentioned today.

Another girl I messaged before, on OKC, also started messaging me more.
 
Z

ZackieChan

Member
electricshake said:
I can't imagine why you'd want to date any other type of girl! Maybe I'm just biased though haha.
Click to expand...

I like to date across a wide spectrum :)

OCDChewie said:
I'm still talking to the hot girl from Craigslist. We've talked a lot, and it's going really well. She's got a great sense of humour, and is easy to talk to.

Last night, I thought I was getting a cold and told her, and she said she had been wondering what I was doing today, because she thought maybe we could get a coffee. But that, if I was sick, it wasn't a good idea.

I've got a bit of a head cold today. It could be bad allergies, but I doubt it. I don't want to put off meeting her in fear of losing the opportunity, because she seems so great, but she should understand. Meeting hasn't been mentioned today.

Another girl I messaged before, on OKC, also started messaging me more.
Click to expand...

I'm sure she wants your blood to be fresh and germ-free before she drinks it or harvests your organs/sperm/whatever. ��
 
E

Entropia

No One Remembers
Xun said:
It no longer works for me, quite literally.

The app is fucked.
Click to expand...

Mine kept crashing a couple weeks ago (Android), but a new version was released and it works again.


Sidenote: I've had absolutely zero luck with Tinder. Only a few matches but no messages actually exchanged.

No one new on OkCupid, so I may just deactivate there. POF has more people, but none that are really compelling to me. I've sent several messages out, but no reponse.
 
X

Xun

Member
True Savior said:
What's the issue? Doesn't open?
Click to expand...
It opens for a bit, then almost immediately crashes.

Entropia said:
Mine kept crashing a couple weeks ago (Android), but a new version was released and it works again.


Sidenote: I've had absolutely zero luck with Tinder. Only a few matches but no messages actually exchanged.

No one new on OkCupid, so I may just deactivate there. POF has more people, but none that are really compelling to me. I've sent several messages out, but no reponse.
Click to expand...
Unfortunately it's still doing it even with the latest update.

It's fucked on my phone.
 
S

Scotch

Member
Xun said:
It opens for a bit, then almost immediately crashes.

Unfortunately it's still doing it even with the latest update.

It's fucked on my phone.
Click to expand...
Have you tried clearing all app data and cache? Or uninstall and reinstall? Sometimes that works for broken apps.
 
J

Jhoan

Member
My cynical dating senses were correct: I never heard back from the aforementioned Harvard grad girl after I texted her and nor the other girl I tried to meet up with yesterday. Oddly enough, they were the ones who messaged me first but I'm yet to find success with girls who messaged me first.

Also I've been glued to the dating apps all day for some dumb reason. I feel like I had a better chance of meeting girls I was volunteering with over the weekend but I realized it too late. As much as I like intelligent and girls who have a good head on their shoulders, I would prefer to meet girls similar to my situation which seems to be rather hard to find.
 
S

Scotch

Member
On OKCupid, when somebody else blocks you, will it say "This user disabled their account"?

I ask because I canceled on a date with a woman and now it displays this message in our chat. But I can't imagine she disabled her account over me canceling on her. I wouldn't have dated her anymore anyway so it's not about that, just wondering how OKCupid deals with user blocking.
 
U

User 479360

Banned
I went on OkCupid last night, and sent some messages to people I found on Quick Match. I sent at least basic messages to all of the girls I liked, outside of one who turned out to not be real -- as I'd kind of suspected.

One replied later that night, and said, "Things are going well, thanks. I'm sorry but I'm not attracted to you." That kind of hurt more than a no reply. I mean, I know I'm not the most attractive guy, but that type of stuff, when verbalised or in writing, kind of stings.

She wasn't one of my main hopes, so oh well.

There's another girl who seemed really nice that I messaged. She replied right away, and we sent a lot of messages (I think 40 overall) about TV shows, books, etc. The conversation was easy.

I asked her what she's looking for on there, she said she didn't really know and was new to it. I asked her if she'd like to go out sometime, but haven't heard yet.
 
L

Llyranor

Member
Scotch said:
On OKCupid, when somebody else blocks you, will it say "This user disabled their account"?

I ask because I canceled on a date with a woman and now it displays this message in our chat. But I can't imagine she disabled her account over me canceling on her. I wouldn't have dated her anymore anyway so it's not about that, just wondering how OKCupid deals with user blocking.
Click to expand...

I don't know the answer, but what difference does it really make? Same outcome, she isn't interested.


OCDChewie said:
I went on OkCupid last night, and sent some messages to people I found on Quick Match. I sent at least basic messages to all of the girls I liked, outside of one who turned out to not be real -- as I'd kind of suspected.

One replied later that night, and said, "Things are going well, thanks. I'm sorry but I'm not attracted to you." That kind of hurt more than a no reply. I mean, I know I'm not the most attractive guy, but that type of stuff, when verbalised or in writing, kind of stings.

She wasn't one of my main hopes, so oh well.
Click to expand...
I know this hurt, and I too would have preferred a non-response. But, she did you a favor by being direct and exposing her rude personality. Why should you let a random person with an awful attitude affect how you feel? Use this opportunity to harden your resolve and not let these kind of people faze you anymore.

There's another girl who seemed really nice that I messaged. She replied right away, and we sent a lot of messages (I think 40 overall) about TV shows, books, etc. The conversation was easy.

I asked her what she's looking for on there, she said she didn't really know and was new to it. I asked her if she'd like to go out sometime, but haven't heard yet.
Click to expand...

1) Did you ask for her number yet in those 40 messages?

2) Did you mention anything specific (timeframe, location, activity idea) when asking her out? Being vaguely non-committal is the wrong approach.
 
A

Assanova

Member
Jhoan said:
My cynical dating senses were correct: I never heard back from the aforementioned Harvard grad girl after I texted her and nor the other girl I tried to meet up with yesterday. Oddly enough, they were the ones who messaged me first but I'm yet to find success with girls who messaged me first.

Also I've been glued to the dating apps all day for some dumb reason. I feel like I had a better chance of meeting girls I was volunteering with over the weekend but I realized it too late. As much as I like intelligent and girls who have a good head on their shoulders, I would prefer to meet girls similar to my situation which seems to be rather hard to find.
Click to expand...

Yep.
 
Z

ZackieChan

Member
I've had plenty of success on Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel, and country-specific dating sites. My issue is that I move to literally a new country every couple months.
 
P

Palpable

Member
I've been having horrible luck on tinder. Only one girl has been actively talking with me (she recognized me because she saw me at work a few weeks prior to us matching). We're gonna meet for dinner on Monday. Problem is that she lives across town & I don't find her too attractive. Oh well, we'll see.

I need someone to judge what pictures I have up. Let me know if you'd be willing & I'll pm you
 
M

MMarston

Was getting caught part of your plan?
MMarston said:
Managed to lock a Tinder date with an out of towner who's just moved here for the summer, so I guess there's a good advantage between us in that there will be no shortage of conversation.
Click to expand...

So this happened the other day. Went out and had dinner + walked around town for an hour.

It was alright - really nice person to hang around with and we had plenty of good talk, but that was about it really. We definitely enjoyed it, but I don't think it was to an extent that either of us were in that much of a hurry to hang out again soon.

Also - though this didn't really play a role that much in how the above turned out, tbh - I think it was just recently that I realized I had somewhat been developing feelings for one of my friends, so I'm pretty sure Tinder is going to be on freeze for now due to that.
 
U

User 479360

Banned
I secured a date with a girl on OkCupid last night. Or so I thought. She replied to me asking what she would like to do, with coffee, but by the time I'd checked my message, her account had been deleted. Secured, it was not.

There was something off about our conversations anyways. She replied a bit at first, then I didn't hear from her for a few days, maybe a week. Then she messaged me out of the blue, later complimented me on my new pictures, and we talked for a little while.

Ah well

I'm still talking to the Craigslist girl, who asked for the above-mentioned selfies. It's going, but not as great. She can sense I'm self-conscious, even though I'm trying not to be, and pointed it out saying it was awkward.

I did, however, get a date with another girl on OkC. She's the one I mentioned messaging last night and talking to about books and TV shows and movies. We're going out for coffee on Friday. I'm just waiting to hear where she wants to go.
 
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