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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond

davepoobond

davepoobond

you can't put a price on sparks
Had a date for tomorrow, and today she says she'll be in Vegas for a week helping her friends get married. Randomly take a week off from their full time job without putting in a request in advance? Ok, I guess so.

Oh well, whatever. It's an excuse it seems like. This week has been dumb.
 
E

E92 M3

Member
davepoobond said:
Had a date for tomorrow, and today she says she'll be in Vegas for a week helping her friends get married. Randomly take a week off from their full time job without putting in a request in advance? Ok, I guess so.

Oh well, whatever. It's an excuse it seems like. This week has been dumb.
Click to expand...

tumblr_inline_mj4azuOEZC1qz4rgp.jpg
 
F

FairyD

Member
davepoobond said:
Had a date for tomorrow, and today she says she'll be in Vegas for a week helping her friends get married. Randomly take a week off from their full time job without putting in a request in advance? Ok, I guess so.

Oh well, whatever. It's an excuse it seems like. This week has been dumb.
Click to expand...

I think I'm talking to someone similar to yours. I was messaging this girl and in my last message I asked if she wanted to grab a coffee. This was her reply:

Hey! Just got back from vacation - I would be happy to have coffee, but I just discovered really unexpectedly that I'm moving to XXX for a job. I'll have to shut down my account, but if I move back and you're still on here I'll take you up on the coffee.

Best of luck and it was nice talking to you!
Click to expand...

Oh well onto the next one as E92 M3 pionts out.
 
P

Phil S.

Banned
I signed up and subscribed to Match.com with the money I earned from doing a sponsored blog post.

I've contacted about 15 women, and thankfully, two got back to me. The one said I was funny but stated it wouldn't work out between us. I thanked her for her time, her response, and for her kind words.

The other responded with answers to my questions I asked her about why she moved to our area, what her favorite hotspots are, etc. She also said she was suffering from pneumonia so she wasn't doing that well at the moment. I then asked if she'd be interested in meeting for coffee once she felt better, and I wished her a speedy recovery.

I'm hoping Match.com isn't $75 wasted, so I'd love some tips to make my profile more compelling and make myself more desirable to a wider group of women.

If you could quote my message to see my profile link and give me some pointers, all, that would be very awesome and welcomed! :)

 
S

SRG01

Member
Halcyon said:
What are you worried about specifically?
Click to expand...

AlphaTwo00 said:
JUST GO. Stop thinking about it.

Worst case, you end up with gelato for the evening. How can that be bad?
Click to expand...

I think my head's just focused on other things these days, especially with my new students for the semester. I mean, I like talking to this girl and there's nothing really wrong, but there isn't anything exceptional, if you know what I mean.

Of course, the exceptional stuff comes way later as I get to know someone, but it's... I guess a lot of my internal attitudes towards others and dating changed quite dramatically after some revelations about my long-term ex and why things failed.

I suppose another thing is that I realized I need time to really know someone before I can really "date" someone from a romantic point of view. I have a tendency to fall into some pretty torrid and chaotic relationships because, for some reason or another, I put up with incredibly bad behavior from my exes.

Phil S. said:
I signed up and subscribed to Match.com with the money I earned from doing a sponsored blog post.

I've contacted about 15 women, and thankfully, two got back to me. The one said I was funny but stated it wouldn't work out between us. I thanked her for her time, her response, and for her kind words.

The other responded with answers to my questions I asked her about why she moved to our area, what her favorite hotspots are, etc. She also said she was suffering from pneumonia so she wasn't doing that well at the moment. I then asked if she'd be interested in meeting for coffee once she felt better, and I wished her a speedy recovery.

I'm hoping Match.com isn't $75 wasted, so I'd love some tips to make my profile more compelling and make myself more desirable to a wider group of women.

If you could quote my message to see my profile link and give me some pointers, all, that would be very awesome and welcomed! :)
Click to expand...

I'm at work so I can't critique, but I can say that people tend to have good experiences from Match. The approach for Match should be the same as any other dating site, but the overall competition is fewer than say POF. For me personally Match isn't that great because a lot of women -- even Asian women -- will explicitly state that they will not date Asian men as opposed to other sites. Psychological, I know, but it does affect the overall experience.
 
K

Kyne

Member
Phil S. said:
I signed up and subscribed to Match.com with the money I earned from doing a sponsored blog post.

I've contacted about 15 women, and thankfully, two got back to me. The one said I was funny but stated it wouldn't work out between us. I thanked her for her time, her response, and for her kind words.

The other responded with answers to my questions I asked her about why she moved to our area, what her favorite hotspots are, etc. She also said she was suffering from pneumonia so she wasn't doing that well at the moment. I then asked if she'd be interested in meeting for coffee once she felt better, and I wished her a speedy recovery.

I'm hoping Match.com isn't $75 wasted, so I'd love some tips to make my profile more compelling and make myself more desirable to a wider group of women.

If you could quote my message to see my profile link and give me some pointers, all, that would be very awesome and welcomed! :)

Click to expand...

How old is that main picture?
 
P

Phil S.

Banned
A couple of years. I should change it as my hair is shaved now! Plus it's not very recent, which is a no-no. I don't want to mislead anyone.

edit: Removed the more hair-filled Phil pictures! :)
 
A

AlphaTwo00

Member
SRG01 said:
For me personally Match isn't that great because a lot of women -- even Asian women -- will explicitly state that they will not date Asian men as opposed to other sites. Psychological, I know, but it does affect the overall experience.
Click to expand...
I tend to see a lot of that on both pof and okc as well. The only one that I haven't seen it is on eharmony. Honestly it feels like it's always an uphill battle as asian male.
 
S

Sami+

Member
Been messing around with tinder, but I haven't gotten to meet up with anyone yet. Sent a message to one person (the other matches I didn't have too much interest in), but after a conversation she unmatched me. Ah well.

Any recommendations for iOS? In particular for a college campus.
 
P

Phil S.

Banned
SRG01 said:
I'm at work so I can't critique, but I can say that people tend to have good experiences from Match. The approach for Match should be the same as any other dating site, but the overall competition is fewer than say POF. For me personally Match isn't that great because a lot of women -- even Asian women -- will explicitly state that they will not date Asian men as opposed to other sites. Psychological, I know, but it does affect the overall experience.
Click to expand...

Being completely ignorant on this (not proudly, mind you), what is the history behind this stance?

And feel free to critique when you're away from work and have the time and desire! It's appreciated! :)
 
S

SRG01

Member
AlphaTwo00 said:
I tend to see a lot of that on both pof and okc as well. The only one that I haven't seen it is on eharmony. Honestly it feels like it's always an uphill battle as asian male.
Click to expand...

It is an uphill battle as an Asian male, if you're online that is. I have no issues getting dates in person, but I just don't have the time commitment for other activities right now.

Phil S. said:
Being completely ignorant on this (not proudly, mind you), what is the history behind this stance?
Click to expand...

Online dating mechanics are the same regardless of the site, because of the inversion that occurs within the online sphere. In person, you get to know who a person is before you get to know about the person, whereas online dating operates on the reverse.

There are also other mechanics, such as the sheer number of people, match searching, opening messages, things like that.

The only site I've seen that bucks the trend is eHarmony, because it doesn't allow for manual searches as well as first-message tools to level the playing field.
 
S

SRG01

Member
backslashbunny said:
Don't worry about it. I'm like you. I have to be friends with the person first.

Think of your gelato date like you're getting to know the other person... you know, like a date :p. That's what a date is, isn't it?
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Getting to know a person or getting to 'know' a person? I kid. But really, there's just so much pressure with modern dating to inspire romance/chemistry on the first date that there's really no room to get to know the other person.

As uncomfortable as I am with it, my last three relationships started out with a series of dates that ended up with us 'doing things' by the second date. And all other dates that failed to produce a relationship had no making out or other romance. It's a weak correlation I know, but it always seems like the women I meet aren't interested in getting to know each other.
 
L

Lulubop

Member
Girl I was gonna hang out with again tomorrow is like oh I might hang with friends tomorrow, is Sunday ok? Kinda bullshit, not really feeling that. Not like I hadn't made the date on Monday.
 
S

Smiley90

Stop shitting on my team. Start shitting on my finger.
That reminds me

I had a date with this girl like 3 weeks ago, thought it went really well, there was some heavy making out

"Sorry I was WAY too drunk, I realized the next morning that you're not at all my type"

WELP.

:lol
 
S

Smiley90

Stop shitting on my team. Start shitting on my finger.
backslashbunny said:
hahahaha ouch. Sorry.



LOL.


I laughed through your whole profile, but TBH if I were into girls I'd just be terrified of you ._.

Maybe that's not a bad thing. If you're purposely trying to weed out people and only meet a certain kind of person, then you're doing something right!
Click to expand...

I'm like 95% sure that's not Drench but just a profile he found.

I hope.

Oh god.
 
Y

y2dvd

Member
SRG01 said:
So... I got a kiss tonight. Three actually.

:eek:
Click to expand...

Does that mean you made out with a person 3 times or you made out with 3 different person? ~_-

It's true what you said earlier though. It's hard for an asian online. I got a hispanic girl's number earlier tonight at a bar and that was the first try of the night. Online...the same girl I probably wouldn't even get a response. It is what it is.
 
G

GrizzNKev

Banned
I think I've determined online dating simply will not work for me. I'm not physically attractive enough to get by on getting views based on a single picture of myself. People like me for how I act and think and I can't generate enough traffic for anyone to be willing to talk to me. Any girl I want to talk to won't reply because they all filter me out based on how I look. The one decent conversation I had was only four messages long and then she went offline without warning and hasn't been back on since.

All this has done is cause stress for me. You can tell me I'm wrong but the people who do are all better looking than me.
 
F

Funky Papa

FUNK-Y-PPA-4
You are in no way less physically attractive that I am and I'm having negative trouble getting dates. Actually, at the ripe old age of 34 I'm getting more attention than at any other point of my life.

Just take a good picture, ping the right ladies and use the proper words.

Of course, getting into dates without online methods is even better, so if that works for you, awesome. But just don't say that you are not having any success because you aren't physically attractive, because that is certainly NOT the issue.
 
G

GrizzNKev

Banned
Funky Papa said:
You are in no way less physically attractive that I am and I'm having negative trouble getting dates. Actually, at the ripe old age of 34 I'm getting more attention than at any other point of my life.

Just take a good picture, ping the right ladies and use the proper words.

Of course, getting into dates without online methods is even better, so if that works for you, awesome. But just don't say that you are not having any success because you aren't physically attractive, because that is certainly NOT the issue.
Click to expand...

Well then the level at which I'm fucking up is doing serious damage to my confidence.
 
S

SRG01

Member
Don't think of it as ducking up. You can never get better at what you're doing without falling down first.

None of us were successful daters overnight, and none of us have infinite successes.

The key is always, always learning from the bad parts so that the good parts are that much better.
 
H

Horseticuffs

Full werewolf off the buckle
Drensch said:
I ran into that.

no this is me

https://www.okcupid.com/profile/Stopper33?cf=search_overlay
Click to expand...

Do girls respond to the Bidet line positively? lol Pretty ballsy, dude!

For my part my date texted me early this morning and asked to reschedule for next Friday when we're both off. She'd told me she was moving yesterday so I thought something like this might happen. No sweat, though! I'm taking it as it comes now.

Like I said earlier, the more I play the field the less "desperate" it all seems. It helps me to relax. Still looking forward to seeing each other :)
 
F

Funky Papa

FUNK-Y-PPA-4
SRG01 said:
Don't think of it as ducking up. You can never get better at what you're doing without falling down first.

None of us were successful daters overnight, and none of us have infinite successes.

The key is always, always learning from the bad parts so that the good parts are that much better.
Click to expand...

Yup.

You are going to get a lot of doors slammed on your face until you find your way in. I had two big issues at first:

1) A super rusty game.

Situation and solution: For a very long time I was married to my job (worst mistake ever, even if it paid for my place) and had very little social interaction. It took me a good while to regain my confidence and learn how to steer a conversation and flirt without being an awkward mess.

2) The picture. The goddamned fucking picture.

Situation and solution: I had a professional picture of me at the job with a dressy shirt and a tie. It was a good picture. All it got me was jack and shit. The girls I managed to date while I had it on my profile were shy, lonely ones in need of a relationship who would have probably gone with anyone who had said the right words (no offense intended to any of them; not only I've been there, but they all were sweet ladies and some of them could have easily gone for somebody a couple of tiers above me if they had the confidence). Then one day I took a shitty, shitty photo calibrating my camera at the bathroom, shared it with a couple of gaffers in jest and got some positive comments out of the blue. I added some crummy Instagram filter, set it as the default picture at the dating site I use and before I knew it I COULDN'T REPLY TO ALL THE MESSAGES I WAS GETTING. I went from having one or two conversations going on at the same time to eight. And all it took was an eye catching picture.

Right now I've stopped contacting with any more girls because my list is outright unmanageable ATM. Hell, one of the girls who dropped from one of my early conversations just got in contact again this morning. It's a mess.

If an old crusty fuck like me can do that, you sure can too.
 
G

GrizzNKev

Banned
Funky Papa said:
Yup.

You are going to get a lot of doors slammed on your face until you find your way in. I had two big issues at first:

1) A super rusty game.

Situation and solution: For a very long time I was married to my job (worst mistake ever, even if it paid for my place) and had very little social interaction. It look me a good while to regain my confidence and learn how to steer a conversation and flirt without being an awkward mess.

2) The picture. The goddamned fucking picture.

Situation and solution: I had a professional picture of me at the job with a dressy shirt and a tie. It was a good picture. All it got me was jack and shit. The girls I managed to date while I had it on my profile were shy, lonely ones in need of a relationship who would have probably gone with anyone who had said the right words (no offense intended to any of them; not only I've been there, but they all were sweet ladies and some of them could have easily go for somebody a couple of tiers above me if they had the confidence). Then one day I took a shitty, shitty photo calibrating my camera at the bathroom, shared it with a couple of gaffers in jest and got some positive comments out of the blue. I added some crummy Instagram filter, set it as the default picture at the dating site I use and before I knew it I COULDN'T REPLY TO ALL THE MESSAGES I WAS GETTING. I went from having one or two conversations going on at the same time to eight. And all it took was an eye catching picture.

Right now I've stopped contacting with any more girls because my list is outright unmanageable ATM. Hell, one of the girls who dropped from one of my early conversations just got in contact again this morning. It's a mess.

If an old crusty fuck like me can do that, you sure can too.
Click to expand...

Well I think my profile is pretty okay aside from the picture issue. Should I post one of me holding my electric guitar or something? What's the trick? I guess it would be a fun talking point. "I'm actually terrible at guitar!"
 
S

Sketchbag

Banned
Already. Heading to the island now. Going to meet this girl. If I die you guys can have all my stuff.

Except the things in the shoe box under all the stuff in the closet.
 
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