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[Raptomex]

Haven't updated in a while. But I was supposed to meet up with that girl a couple of Saturday's ago but she had to cancel because she wasn't feeling well. I asked her out for this past Saturday but she was going to some birthday party, and this coming weekend she is going to a fair with friends. Her facebook indicates all of this to be true and she promised that she's not avoiding me. She still insists I can text her and she said she would let me know when plans fall through and when she wants to meet. But of course she still never texts me first and I'm running out of shit to say. "Hello", "How has your day been", etc is starting to get old now. Though, when I do text her she does respond and sounds enthusiastic. From the texts I don't get the sense she's trying to avoid me. I really don't know if I should give up, stop texting and just wait. I've asked for her number and asked her out 3 times now. I think I've done all I could. It should be on her.

 

[davepoobond]

Haven't updated in a while. But I was supposed to meet up with that girl a couple of Saturday's ago but she had to cancel because she wasn't feeling well. I asked her out for this past Saturday but she was going to some birthday party, and this coming weekend she is going to a fair with friends. Her facebook indicates all of this to be true and she promised that she's not avoiding me. She still insists I can text her and she said she would let me know when plans fall through and when she wants to meet. But of course she still never texts me first and I'm running out of shit to say. "Hello", "How has your day been", etc is starting to get old now. Though, when I do text her she does respond and sounds enthusiastic. From the texts I don't get the sense she's trying to avoid me. I really don't know if I should give up, stop texting and just wait. I've asked for her number and asked her out 3 times now. I think I've done all I could. It should be on her.

At this point Just tell her that you still want to meet, but she needs to tell you when that can happen. You should text her maybe once a week or two weeks just to keep the line open, but stop wasting so much time with her, I guess.

She probably isn't going to actually ever meet you. She decided to hang out with friends at a fair instead of going on a date with you, and she may have been able to do both.

 

[Halcyon]

Haven't updated in a while. But I was supposed to meet up with that girl a couple of Saturday's ago but she had to cancel because she wasn't feeling well. I asked her out for this past Saturday but she was going to some birthday party, and this coming weekend she is going to a fair with friends. Her facebook indicates all of this to be true and she promised that she's not avoiding me. She still insists I can text her and she said she would let me know when plans fall through and when she wants to meet. But of course she still never texts me first and I'm running out of shit to say. "Hello", "How has your day been", etc is starting to get old now. Though, when I do text her she does respond and sounds enthusiastic. From the texts I don't get the sense she's trying to avoid me. I really don't know if I should give up, stop texting and just wait. I've asked for her number and asked her out 3 times now. I think I've done all I could. It should be on her.

If that was me I would straight out say "call me when you want to get together" and I would stop talking to her.

You don't need to be sitting around like a lost puppy waiting for her to decide to grace you with her attention.

 

[Raptomex]

At this point Just tell her that you still want to meet, but she needs to tell you when that can happen. You should text her maybe once a week or two weeks just to keep the line open, but stop wasting so much time with her, I guess.

She probably isn't going to actually ever meet you. She decided to hang out with friends at a fair instead of going on a date with you, and she may have been able to do both.

If that was me I would straight out say "call me when you want to get together" and I would stop talking to her.

You don't need to be sitting around like a lost puppy waiting for her to decide to grace you with her attention.

Yup. That's pretty much what I've been doing. I text her here and there throughout the weeks. I could easily go to the fair but she didn't invite me so I didn't invite myself.

 

[defiant04]

Haven't updated in a while. But I was supposed to meet up with that girl a couple of Saturday's ago but she had to cancel because she wasn't feeling well. I asked her out for this past Saturday but she was going to some birthday party, and this coming weekend she is going to a fair with friends. Her facebook indicates all of this to be true and she promised that she's not avoiding me. She still insists I can text her and she said she would let me know when plans fall through and when she wants to meet. But of course she still never texts me first and I'm running out of shit to say. "Hello", "How has your day been", etc is starting to get old now. Though, when I do text her she does respond and sounds enthusiastic. From the texts I don't get the sense she's trying to avoid me. I really don't know if I should give up, stop texting and just wait. I've asked for her number and asked her out 3 times now. I think I've done all I could. It should be on her.

Yea, I would have texted, "let me know when you are free." then I would erased her texts, keep her number and move on to other women. Imagine, if you were brad pitt. You think she would still be giving you the run around? The best thing you can do is move on and talk to other chicks.

 

[jwk94]

Do any of you guys have more than one internet dating account? I got POF but i'm thinking of signing up for a OKC too.

 

[davepoobond]

Do any of you guys have more than one internet dating account? I got POF but i'm thinking of signing up for a OKC too.

I'm on pof, okcupid, cmb, tinder

They all have different uses and people, sometimes there are overlaps, though.

 

[jwk94]

I don't understand people who only date within a certain race or don't date black people, mexicans, or another race. I just read a girl's profile on POF who said she comes from a typical redneck family so bringing home a black guy isn't ok. How is this acceptable?!

I'm on pof, okcupid, cmb, tinder

They all have different uses and people, sometimes there are overlaps, though.

Hmm, looks like I'm signing up for OKC then! Question: can people Google my name and find me? Would rather keep this stuff private.

 

[stn]

For people who use Match, I've a few questions:

1. How much is it per month?
2. If I make a free profile can I still see who has viewed me?
3. How do you like it?

 

[TheRed]

So I'm new to this stuff and made an OKC account last night. I've gotten like 5 messages from girls, and I don't really feel like responding to some who I already know I'm not attracted to. Would not replying be a dick move? Should I just reply and get to the point quick and say I'm not interested.

I chatted with one last night for about 30 messages because she was the first message I got but I felt like it was just a waste of time since I wasn't interested.

(this is probably the same reason I have trouble with relationships in real life lol)

 

[jwk94]

So I'm new to this stuff and made an OKC account last night. I've gotten like 5 messages from girls, and I don't really feel like responding to some who I already know I'm not attracted to. Would not replying be a dick move? Should I just reply and get to the point quick and say I'm not interested.

I chatted with one last night for about 30 messages because she was the first message I got but I felt like it was just a waste of time since I wasn't interested.

(this is probably the same reason I have trouble with relationships in real life lol)

As someone who has been on the other end of that stick, I really think you should just tell them you're not interested.

 

[stn]

So I'm new to this stuff and made an OKC account last night. I've gotten like 5 messages from girls, and I don't really feel like responding to some who I already know I'm not attracted to. Would not replying be a dick move? Should I just reply and get to the point quick and say I'm not interested.

I chatted with one last night for about 30 messages because she was the first message I got but I felt like it was just a waste of time since I wasn't interested.

(this is probably the same reason I have trouble with relationships in real life lol)

Its going to be perceived as a "dick move" no matter what you do. You can reply but then they'll assume you're interested, thus you'll waste their time. You can also directly tell them you're not interested, but that will hurt them more than no reply. Honestly, just say nothing and move on. You will also find that you will probably get the exact same treatment whenever a girl isn't into you. Its not the "right" thing to do but its pretty much the norm in online dating.

EDIT: FWIW, I'd be more annoyed if a girl replied to me and made me think she was interested. Though keep in mind I'm a guy so opinions on this may vary.

 

[TheRed]

Its going to be perceived as a "dick move" no matter what you do. You can reply but then they'll assume you're interested, thus you'll waste their time. You can also directly tell them you're not interested, but that will hurt them more than no reply. Honestly, just say nothing and move on. You will also find that you will probably get the exact same treatment whenever a girl isn't into you. Its not the "right" thing to do but its pretty much the norm in online dating.

EDIT: FWIW, I'd be more annoyed if a girl replied to me and made me think she was interested. Though keep in mind I'm a guy so opinions on this may vary.

Yea I've been on the other side of it plenty of times and honestly I came to terms with it, now when it happens I move on fast. But I wasn't sure if other people take non replies as well as I do.

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

Let me tell you this, texting a 31 year old journalist and a 26 year old occupational therapist are wildly different experiences.

 

[Twio]

lul

 

[jwk94]

When you guys message people and have conversations, are they long paragraphs or a brief sentence or two?

 

[Roubjon]

Alright guys, I started using Tinder for the first time like, two days ago and got a couple of matches. Started talking with this one chick who is clearly interested. I'm guessing I should get her number sooner rather than later right? Like, I shouldn't be having massive convos in this app's messaging system, right? Doesn't make it very personal. This is all new shit to me so excuse my ignorance.

 

[Twio]

lul

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

Alright guys, I started using Tinder for the first time like, two days ago and got a couple of matches. Started talking with this one chick who is clearly interested. I'm guessing I should get her number sooner rather than later right? Like, I shouldn't be having massive convos in this app's messaging system, right? Doesn't make it very personal. This is all new shit to me so excuse my ignorance.

If there's a connection get out of the message software asap. Swap numbers and converse via text.

When you guys message people and have conversations, are they long paragraphs or a brief sentence or two?

All I can say is to read the situation. If theirs are short, keep it similar. Don't offer your life story in a text or in-app message. Save it for the face 2 face meeting. That's my experience.

 

[TheRed]

When you guys message people and have conversations, are they long paragraphs or a brief sentence or two?

I try to keep things brief, until we've been talking for a little while and are comfortable with sharing a lot. If it goes well you learn little bits about each other in a conversation dragged out over hours with short and sweet sentences, instead of it dying fast because I opened up too much.

 

[GK86]

Alright guys, I started using Tinder for the first time like, two days ago and got a couple of matches. Started talking with this one chick who is clearly interested. I'm guessing I should get her number sooner rather than later right? Like, I shouldn't be having massive convos in this app's messaging system, right? Doesn't make it very personal. This is all new shit to me so excuse my ignorance.

Sooner rather than later.

I always aim to get their phone number before the end of our first convo.

There isn't anything wrong with having (massive) convos on the app, but remember that you are competing with a bunch of guys for attention. Your messages might be buried in a pile and it might be a case of her forgetting or missing your messages.

If you see potential, take it slow, don't rush things. I kept making the mistake of rushing things when I first joined tinder and nothing that I rushed panned out. Don't go too fast and don't go too slow, talk to her on tinder for a few more days and then ask.

Idk, I have always be quick to get the woman's number. And quick to set up a date. It has worked out for me.

 

[Twio]

Idk, I have always be quick to get the woman's number. And quick to set up a date. It has worked out for me.

troll post, etc

 

[Roubjon]

Thanks for the replies.

Yeah, makes sense. I"ll get her number tomorrow and start talking that way. Regardless, we'll see what happens. Life is an experiment! If I fuck this up somehow then they'll always be another chance.

Sooner rather than later.

I always aim to get their phone number before the end of our first convo.

Yeah there was definitely a chance I could have gotten it today right at the end. Oh well!

 

[Twio]

Thanks for the replies.

Yeah, makes sense. I"ll get her number tomorrow and start talking that way. Regardless, we'll see what happens. Life is an experiment! If I fuck this up somehow then they'll always be another chance.

That's the spirit!

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

My two cents:

1. Do not reply to someone if they message you and you're not interested. I had one girl message back "thanks for your message but you're not my type". What exactly is her type? Tall, rich, handsome? She doesn't even know me. The nerve of her! You're better off not doing that to someone.

2. Some people like brief, frequent messages. Some like longer, less frequent ones. Some do a mix (brief, not frequent). Do try to tailor your messages to suit the situation.

3. Do try to move to swapping names, numbers, and setting up a date relatively quickly. People can lose interest or find someone better. It's the same thing with jobs: if they want you, they'll set up an interview ASAP.

4. If someone keeps delaying or putting off meeting you, move on. See the Brad Pitt rule on a previous page: if they want to meet they'll make time for you.

 

[Roubjon]

I also need to get way better pictures of myself. I'm a good lookin' dude. But I just haven't taken a picture of myself since, like, ever. So I've got 1 mirror selfie I took yesterday, a decent photo from my work, a ridiculous ironic selfie shot at some obnoxious angle, and some photo my bro took of me for his photography class that is 3 years old.

I have none of that "Here's me with my cool friends" and "Here's me in a cool location" and "Here's me before goin' out!" or "Here's me makin' a silly face!"

I need those staples yo.

 

[Twio]

lul

 

[TheRed]

I need those pictures too. Was able to find 3 pics for my profile.

 

[Smiley90]

The guy I just asked out again just basically declined for the second time in a row, just responded saying "I don't know."

Should I move on now? I feel like I'm wasting my time here

Apply the Brad Pi- ..... the uh... Emma Stone rule?

If you were Emma Stone, he wouldn't say "I don't know".

So yes, move on.

 

[jwk94]

The guy I just asked out again just basically declined for the second time in a row, just responded saying "I don't know."

Should I move on now? I feel like I'm wasting my time here

seriously thouugh move on bro.

 

[davepoobond]

The guy I just asked out again just basically declined for the second time in a row, just responded saying "I don't know."

Should I move on now? I feel like I'm wasting my time here

ummm are you a girl or a guy?

either way i'd probably say yes.

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

Apply the Brad Pi- ..... the uh... Emma Stone rule?

If you were Emma Stone, he wouldn't say "I don't know".

So yes, move on.

Er, it'll still be a male actor of choice.

 

[Smiley90]

Er, it'll still be a male actor of choice.

-shrugs- I didn't know, sorry lol

 

[Jimothy]

I'm thinking about getting back into online dating but ugh shit is so exhausting. I was looking at profiles earlier and literally none of them caught my eye. Not a good sign.

 

[SRG01]

For people who use Match, I've a few questions:

1. How much is it per month?
2. If I make a free profile can I still see who has viewed me?
3. How do you like it?

1. The cost varies between the type of plan and promotion, but I think it's the equivalent of around $12-15 a month or so if you get the 6 month bundle.
2. No.
3. I don't find it too bad, but the awful thing about the site is that, if you're an ethnic minority, it glaringly shows you who is willing to date which ethnicity. At first it's okay because you don't have to waste your time, but it wears you down after a while.


edit: I'm thinking of quitting online dating for umpteenth time. Not because I can't meet anyone, but holy shit I'm just not compatible with the people I meet there. It just rattles my head because I typically don't have this much issue dating in real life, and yet I'm having all these issues. All I want is to meet a decent girl next door type, but it's seemingly impossible.

 

[jwk94]

So I decided to look at people's answers to those OKCupid questions. Most of what I found wasn't surprising.....until I got to the race question. Most of the people who had answered it and were highly compatible with me had said they would prefer to date within their own race. You have no idea how mad I am right now.

 

[Sami+]

Most of the time I ask for a phone number/snapchat at the end of the first conversation, and set up a date the next day. Haven't had issues with that afaik.

 

[vicissitudes]

Er, it'll still be a male actor of choice.

Apply the Neil Patrick Harris rule?

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

Apply the Neil Patrick Harris rule?

Sure

 

[Shizuka]

Is it weird that I want to keep my options and go out with three guys at the same time?

Spoiler

Not during the same time, but one day a week with each one.

 

[y2dvd]

I'm thinking about getting back into online dating but ugh shit is so exhausting. I was looking at profiles earlier and literally none of them caught my eye. Not a good sign.

Here's the thing, unless you are super attractive yourself, your profile probably won't catch anyone else's either. Better start playing that numbers game.

Is it weird that I want to keep my options and go out with three guys at the same time?

Spoiler

Not during the same time, but one day a week with each one.

Nah, I've had several dates within a week and I had a friend date 5 guys at once. You're not committed to anyone yet. Guy 1 can feel good the first week, but the second week, you lose all that connection. Best to keep your options open. Of course, if it went well the first time around, I would hate to wait an entire month for a second date lol.

 

[Dead Prince]

i was swiping everyone on tinder with at least 20+ interest. accidentally swiped a girl and she was apparently a match for me. read her description. army vet with a kid who is going to school. im in it for the friendship i guess. she's into video games so that's that lol.

also matched a guy. unsure if he's one of those swipe anyone just because. he looks like it. but prove me wrong.

 

[stn]

Mannnnn, I need advice. I literally feel like I've exhausted OKC for all its worth. I get messaged frequently but I'm almost never attracted to the girls messaging me. And the ones I was into either chatted and disappeared, or just ignored me. I haven't met a girl on there in about 5-6 months, last girl I was into I chatted with 2 months ago (she disappeared).
I literally keep the profile around because I get messaged everyday and like to hold out for some girl I'm into. I've also used Beautiful People and my dates there went nowhere.

I need alternatives. OKC seems to be prime because you can actually get yourself featured on the front page. POF, for example, doesn't do that. What do you folks propose? I was considering Match but I just don't feel like paying for what I assume may be a similar experience (I also recognized a profile of a Match girl who flopped on me on OKC, lol).

Ideas?

 

[Halcyon]

Mannnnn, I need advice. I literally feel like I've exhausted OKC for all its worth. I get messaged frequently but I'm almost never attracted to the girls messaging me. And the ones I was into either chatted and disappeared, or just ignored me. I haven't met a girl on there in about 5-6 months, last girl I was into I chatted with 2 months ago (she disappeared).
I literally keep the profile around because I get messaged everyday and like to hold out for some girl I'm into. I've also used Beautiful People and my dates there went nowhere.

I need alternatives. OKC seems to be prime because you can actually get yourself featured on the front page. POF, for example, doesn't do that. What do you folks propose? I was considering Match but I just don't feel like paying for what I assume may be a similar experience (I also recognized a profile of a Match girl who flopped on me on OKC, lol).

Ideas?

I had better luck with POF but it was mostly because more women were using it in my area than OKcupid.

My main three were pof, okcupid, tinder. Met my current GF on POF.

 

[SRG01]

So I decided to look at people's answers to those OKCupid questions. Most of what I found wasn't surprising.....until I got to the race question. Most of the people who had answered it and were highly compatible with me had said they would prefer to date within their own race. You have no idea how mad I am right now.

It's something you have to grow a thick skin about. I mean, it's not as Match.com throwing it at your face, but that's the reality of dating online and offline.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Mannnnn, I need advice. I literally feel like I've exhausted OKC for all its worth. I get messaged frequently but I'm almost never attracted to the girls messaging me. And the ones I was into either chatted and disappeared, or just ignored me. I haven't met a girl on there in about 5-6 months, last girl I was into I chatted with 2 months ago (she disappeared).
I literally keep the profile around because I get messaged everyday and like to hold out for some girl I'm into. I've also used Beautiful People and my dates there went nowhere.

I need alternatives. OKC seems to be prime because you can actually get yourself featured on the front page. POF, for example, doesn't do that. What do you folks propose? I was considering Match but I just don't feel like paying for what I assume may be a similar experience (I also recognized a profile of a Match girl who flopped on me on OKC, lol).

Ideas?

Sounds like you need a break.

Chatted with a girl for 2 months without a number/date? If you asked and she said no it wasn't going to happen.

 

[Soi-Fong]

Man, shit gets tiring hearing the same thing, "I'm a Blackhawks fan!" I don't particularly like hockey so...

 

[stn]

Sounds like you need a break.

Chatted with a girl for 2 months without a number/date? If you asked and she said no it wasn't going to happen.

Yes, I do need a break. The last time I talked to a girl on there was 2 months ago, we only chatted for a few days. She messaged me first but then disappeared after a few days. I wouldn't be crazy enough to chat for 2 months without a date organized, lol.

 

[jwk94]

So how long do I wait before asking a girl for her number and how do I go about doing it?

It's something you have to grow a thick skin about. I mean, it's not as Match.com throwing it at your face, but that's the reality of dating online and offline.

Yeah it's depressing but I'll get over it.

 

[davepoobond]

I pretty much stopped using everything but coffee meets bagel at the moment. Cmb is giving me consistent matches with people that actually talk so its been a more pleasant experience. It's also not a ton of work to maintain, which is nice.

Had a match last week and I messaged her first 3 days in a row, had a good conversation, but I let the chat expire since she never messaged me first. She was the one that said she wanted to meet but "get to know each other first". Guess she didnt want to get to know me or meet after all.

I have two more matches currently, two in a row. One is pretty responsive and actually asks me questions. The other is half and half.