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[davepoobond]

I loved Coffee Meets Bagel when I heard about the concept. IMO it worked the best; and I went on quite a few dates from there!

for the first month and a half i got 0 connects, but now im up to 8 or something since i started. 3 never even responded initially, and those were my first 3, so i thought it was just going to be like tinder, but it started to come around recently.

everyone i've been asking is more or less looking for a long-term/serious relationship as well, which is great since that's what i'm looking for.

 

[Smiley90]

I wanted to try coffee meet bagel after you guys kept raving about it, but...... it doesn't work in Canada.

 

[davepoobond]

I wanted to try coffee meet bagel after you guys kept raving about it, but...... it doesn't work in Canada.

to be fair i have been on 0 dates with it so far... right now the score is 2 for POF, 0 for everything else.

 

[Roubjon]

Made a CmB profile today. Will it lead to something? Let's see!

 

[davepoobond]

Well, as a girl, I'm just much more willing to meet people on Coffee Meets Bagel after a short convo.

This is because everyone you are matched with is a friend of a friend on facebook. So... I have the peace of mind knowing that they're probably not a serial killer, dangerous, etc.

Every single guy I have said yes to on CmB, I have connected, texted, and then been on a date with. Every single one.

most of my matches all say "no mutual friends" so i'm not sure that the mutual friend thing always counts...

 

[davepoobond]

Oh weird.

Back when I used it, it only gave me people I had mutual friends with. That used to be what it was about.

Yeah, that's what I thought too but that's what it's giving me. Maybe it has to do with Facebook privacy settings or something.


I asked one of them out and she pulls the "this is my first time using online dating and you are my first match so I want to get to know you more"

::face palm::

 

[Soi-Fong]

Just started a CMB account. First match is someone who's two hours away with no mutual friends.. Is there any way to lessen the distance?

 

[SRG01]

Yeah, that's what I thought too but that's what it's giving me. Maybe it has to do with Facebook privacy settings or something.


I asked one of them out and she pulls the "this is my first time using online dating and you are my first match so I want to get to know you more"

::face palm::

What if it IS her first time online dating? Eh? EHH?

Spoiler

Probably not, but wanting to know you more before meeting is maaaybe a good sign.

 

[Valus]

Had a second date with the girl I mentioned before tonight. It was fun - checked out a Naughty Dog art gallery and then had dinner. She had mentioned on our first date that she wanted to see Box Trolls, so I suggested we see that on our next date and she agreed.

I'm having a hard time breaking that physical barrier and taking things to the next step. She seems interested in me but hasn't blatantly made it clear she wants more. I don't think she will...she's pretty mature and knows what she's looking for. Which leaves it up to me to break through to the next step, but again, I just haven't found any really good opportunities to test the waters. Any tips would be appreciated!

On another note, I wish there was a way to change the way we are hardwired. I hate how I easily become invested in girls and emotionally dependent on them when we are in a relationship. I've tried to change it but it's practically impossible. No matter how aware I am of it and how much I try to step away from it, something happens and I end up returning to default.

Sometimes I wish I could just not give a fuck. But I can't - I'm simply not wired that way. Being a Gemini sucks.

 

[davepoobond]

What if it IS her first time online dating? Eh? EHH?

Spoiler

Probably not, but wanting to know you more before meeting is maaaybe a good sign.

so far when they say they want to get to know me before meeting they dont want to meet after we run out of things to talk about, so its pretty much a death knell when i hear those words.

i dont know if i can believe the "you're my first match" thing, its already been like 3 days, so i'm sure she's already had another match by now, and by the time she "gets to know me" more she'll find someone else. also, asking someone to meet twice will make it sound like i'm desperate. mind you, in this case i've already asked like 5 to 10 questions before asking if she wants to meet, so i dont know how much more she has to know me to make a decision to meet.


so essentially when they say "i want to get to know you before meeting" i feel like they're really just saying they're trying to find other people to meet first

Just started a CMB account. First match is someone who's two hours away with no mutual friends.. Is there any way to lessen the distance?

nope.

 

[RandyBobandy]

So the girl I've been on two dates with and had the third lined up has canceled and now she's being kinda cold and serious

It's odd really. Like we were texting regulary and she was saying how she's really looking forward to seeing me again, then nothing

Guess that's that

 

[grap3fruitman]

Ideas?

You're kind of starting to sound like me. My suggestion is for you to stop doing that.

 

[Shizuka]

Nah, I've had several dates within a week and I had a friend date 5 guys at once. You're not committed to anyone yet. Guy 1 can feel good the first week, but the second week, you lose all that connection. Best to keep your options open. Of course, if it went well the first time around, I would hate to wait an entire month for a second date lol.

Each one of them wants a different thing and the whole package is suiting me fine for now. I think I won't settle for one until or when I need to make such decision.

 

[Azulsky]

So realistically how much initiation is done by women on online dating sites? By that I mean being the sender of the initial messages.

Seems on OKC the matching questions are pretty shallow with the exception of absolute would or would not questions. I can look through folks that have pretty comprehensive profiles and its like I don't have something to go on because our interests are so misaligned/different despite being a 95% match.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

I asked one of them out and she pulls the "this is my first time using online dating and you are my first match so I want to get to know you more"

::face palm::

"Well as long as I'm the first person you meet."

 

[Halcyon]

So realistically how much initiation is done by women on online dating sites? By that I mean being the sender of the initial messages.

Seems on OKC the matching questions are pretty shallow with the exception of absolute would or would not questions. I can look through folks that have pretty comprehensive profiles and its like I don't have something to go on because our interests are so misaligned/different despite being a 95% match.

The women I wasn't attracted to were always the ones that messaged me first.

 

[davepoobond]

So realistically how much initiation is done by women on online dating sites? By that I mean being the sender of the initial messages.

Seems on OKC the matching questions are pretty shallow with the exception of absolute would or would not questions. I can look through folks that have pretty comprehensive profiles and its like I don't have something to go on because our interests are so misaligned/different despite being a 95% match.

it rarely happens, but they always seem to be opposite of what i'm looking for (such as not insane).

speaking of which, some insane girl that messaged me first a while ago saying i "seemed" interesting (what a compliment!) messaged me again with a stupid question. yeeugh

 

[Kyne]

For the week that I was active on Okcupid, not a single girl messaged me.

:c ?

Spoiler

in the end the website netted me a girlfriend so I can't complain all that much

 

[GK86]

Out of maybe 2-3 months, I never got a date from OKC. Barely a conversation to speak of. It was a waste of time for me.

 

[Horseticuffs]

So for I've gotten one girlfriend, three dates, and Blue Hair whom I suspect will go official very shortly from okc. The selection locally isn't as good as pof but the users are more active.

 

[Twio]

Do you guys think that being over-complimented by someone can be somewhat of a turn off?

Assuming you're like an 8 and it's a 6 or 7 complimenting you, not a 9 or 10.

Someone who's on the same level as me looks-wise keeps complimenting me on tinder every time I try to strike up an actual conversation with them and it isn't very flattering anymore to me Idk.

 

[Azulsky]

Do you guys think that being over-complimented by someone can be somewhat of a turn off?

Assuming you're like an 8 and it's a 6 or 7 complimenting you, not a 9 or 10.

Someone who's on the same level as me looks-wise keeps complimenting me on tinder every time I try to strike up an actual conversation with them and it isn't very flattering anymore to me Idk.

You might just be someone's type. I know for myself when it comes to physical attraction my preferences are different than the norm and a girl some might find average I would see as me batting out of my league.

 

[Rich!]

Ok so this is going well

Awww yeah

 

[RandyBobandy]

Pof is a worse site than okc, but it actually has women from my town so I use it. There's just so many blank profiles or ones with one sentence that just says "message me if you want to know more"

How do you work with that?

At least with okc the profile require you to put some shit down about yourself, dang

I'm gonna try out Tinder for the first time too, but Jesus fuck if my mom is on it I will die

 

[Rich!]

first date coming up...pizza, gta v and a comfy sofa/bed. that's the plan, her idea

oh man

 

[Azulsky]

Pof is a worse site than okc, but it actually has women from my town so I use it. There's just so many blank profiles or ones with one sentence that just says "message me if you want to know more"

How do you work with that?

At least with okc the profile require you to put some shit down about yourself, dang

I'm gonna try out Tinder for the first time too, but Jesus fuck if my mom is on it I will die

Tinder has the least information of all the dating sites. 90% of Tinder profiles are just pictures and maybe 2 lines. I don't feel like I have anything to go on most of the time with a filled out OKC profile.

 

[Necrovex]

Tinder has the least information of all the dating sites. 90% of Tinder profiles are just pictures and maybe 2 lines. I don't feel like I have anything to go on most of the time with a filled out OKC profile.

You can work with Tender well by the interests shared section. Plus both parties agree they find each other attractive which makes the simple line "Hey. What are you up to this weekend" work relatively well.

Went out last night on a date with a woman eight years my senior and it was one of better first dates. Ton of physical contact and a few kisses at the end of the night.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Pof is a worse site than okc, but it actually has women from my town so I use it. There's just so many blank profiles or ones with one sentence that just says "message me if you want to know more"

How do you work with that?

At least with okc the profile require you to put some shit down about yourself, dang

I'm gonna try out Tinder for the first time too, but Jesus fuck if my mom is on it I will die

Women keep their profile blank/brief because they know they'll get messages no matter what. Their efforts are not spent on maintaining their profile but in filtering out the mountains of messages they get. The way to get responses is to be ridiculously attractive yourself or send a really good stock message that doesn't sound like a stock message.

You can filter the age range to exclude your mom's (unless she lies about her age).

 

[APZonerunner]

OK, so, after a fun but ultimately wasn't-to-be fling over the spring and summer months that came off OKC and collapsed about a month ago, I'm about ready to get back into things. So... obvious question, and I've seen it discussed here a fair bit reading past pages, but how is POF? Any other recommendations beyond that and OKC? Does anybody have experience with the pay sites? I'm not adverse to paying a fee if it has a good chance of leading places.

 

[Rich!]

uh oh

so this girl I've been talking to, and arranged a date with, has just told me she has another date with another guy shes been talking to next thursday. so basically, we're in competition

I should bail out right now, yeah?

 

[vicissitudes]

uh oh

so this girl I've been talking to, and arranged a date with, has just told me she has another date with another guy shes been talking to next thursday. so basically, we're in competition

I should bail out right now, yeah?

And she's the only date you have?

Step your game up.

 

[Rich!]

And she's the only date you have?

Step your game up.

well. I've not had much luck other than her, admittedly...

As a joke I did set up a fake female profile though, and its fucking hilarious. I've had about 50 messages over the last three hours.


edit: I do feel bad about it now, but my mate finds it just as funny.

 

[davepoobond]

Well done rich.


That girl came around and said she'd like to meet after all. But the one or two questions asked after were like not really important at all, so she probably had to come to terms with the fact that to date you need to actually meet someone in the real world

 

[Smiley90]

uh oh

so this girl I've been talking to, and arranged a date with, has just told me she has another date with another guy shes been talking to next thursday. so basically, we're in competition

I should bail out right now, yeah?

no?

of course she'll have other dates. so should you.

 

[davepoobond]

Why would she even mention she has another date anyway?

 

[davepoobond]

Maybe she's just trying to be honest with her status right now?

It's a subtle way of going, hey btw, I'm dating around.

I suppose a blunt "I don't date exclusively until I'm sure I want to commit" could work.

It's fine if she's being honest but I would think its a forgone conclusion she would have other dates or people she is talking to, I don't know why actually telling him about it does anything positive for the conversation. There's a difference between saying "I can't meet that day" and saying "I have a date with another guy that day". -- too much information.

I'm sure it depends on the context in the end, but you already see the impact it makes in this situation -- he is all of a sudden questioning whether or not he should bother, and that's not an outlandish thought process, at least to me anyway, if someone mentions that before even meeting them.

 

[Smiley90]

It's fine if she's being honest but I would think its a forgone conclusion she would have other dates or people she is talking to, I don't know why actually telling him about it does anything positive for the conversation. There's a difference between saying "I can't meet that day" and saying "I have a date with another guy that day". -- too much information.

I'm sure it depends on the context in the end, but you already see the impact it makes in this situation -- he is all of a sudden questioning whether or not he should bother, and that's not an outlandish thought process, at least to me anyway, if someone mentions that before even meeting them.

Eh, maybe she's just not as experienced with online dating. I wouldn't read too much into it. It should be obvious that she's on other dates, I would personally appreciate an honest answer more than a vague "no I can't meet that day".

 

[stn]

uh oh

so this girl I've been talking to, and arranged a date with, has just told me she has another date with another guy shes been talking to next thursday. so basically, we're in competition

I should bail out right now, yeah?

Nah. She's telling you that to either be honest about it OR to just stroke her ego. Personally speaking I'd never tell a girl I'm dating other girls at the same time, that's just me. Your best bet is to play it cool and not care. Or, if you're feeling like a douche, just lie that you also have a bunch of other dates. And then proceed to ignore her for a while in order to make the story seem real (this is not a personal recommendation, just if you're feeling like playing some games for no apparent reason).

Honestly, just be cool about it and continue doing what you're doing. Whatever you do DO NOT make it seem like you're in competition. And do not try to convince her why she should ditch the other guys for you.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

Nah. She's telling you that to either be honest about it OR to just stroke her ego. Personally speaking I'd never tell a girl I'm dating other girls at the same time, that's just me. Your best bet is to play it cool and not care. Or, if you're feeling like a douche, just lie that you also have a bunch of other dates. And then proceed to ignore her for a while in order to make the story seem real (this is not a personal recommendation, just if you're feeling like playing some games for no apparent reason).

Honestly, just be cool about it and continue doing what you're doing. Whatever you do DO NOT make it seem like you're in competition. And do not try to convince her why she should ditch the other guys for you.

If she's trying to make it a competition then is it even worth wasting your time with it? I'm not saying this one is or not but sometimes it feels they tell you to try and make it a competition or get you riled up. I guess tone matters a lot but most times I've experienced it, it was to make you jealous and would just kill any desire I had for them.

 

[Azulsky]

You can work with Tender well by the interests shared section. Plus both parties agree they find each other attractive which makes the simple line "Hey. What are you up to this weekend" work relatively well.

I guess I'm abnormal as physical attraction is not really that important to me. There are plenty of super attractive girls on dating sites where after reading the profile section im just seeing red flags.

1/10 girls on Tinder seem to fill out anything in the interest shared section and those who do have one liners

 

[Cro-Magnon]

I guess I'm abnormal as physical attraction is not really that important to me. There are plenty of super attractive girls on dating sites where after reading the profile section im just seeing red flags.

This is true for me too. I tend to be very picky, just not about the looks.

Anyway, I would really like to give this online dating thingy a good try, but I have one very big problem: I don't do photoes. I never did. My facebook page is just blank, as I'm an extremely light user.
Also, my current circle of friends seems to be lacking of one of those individuals who takes a pic every other second of their life, and that's something of which I used to be glad actually, but on the other side I'm currently unable to even fill a Tinder profile with pictures of me.

What do you suggest that I do, GAF? Just take a bunch of selfies?
Anybody here has been in a similar situation?

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

One selfie is okay. Any more and it just gives off a hermit vibe.

Travel pics, family gatherings, birthdays, concerts, etc. are all good opportunities for pictures. If you're concerned about privacy blur others' faces.

Do your best to show you out and about.

 

[Azulsky]

This is true for me too. I tend to be very picky, just not about the looks.

Anyway, I would really like to give this online dating thingy a good try, but I have one very big problem: I don't do photoes. I never did. My facebook page is just blank, as I'm an extremely light user.
Also, my current circle of friends seems to be lacking of one of those individuals who takes a pic every other second of their life, and that's something of which I used to be glad actually, but on the other side I'm currently unable to even fill a Tinder profile with pictures of me.

What do you suggest that I do, GAF? Just take a bunch of selfies?
Anybody here has been in a similar situation?

I ended up just using a selfie.

I dont really want to use family pictures and my friend circle does not have a camera person. Also due to insane body weight changes between the last picture I have of myself and now im keeping those locked away.

I still feel like for myself I like seeing others profiles that have multiple pictures of them doing different things so now i just feel like an antisocial workaholic.

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

Use the self-timer function in your camera. If you're creative enough, it'll fly.

 

[stn]

Anyone with an account willing to do a quick favor for me? Just need you to check an account for me and tell me how frequently it replies.

EDIT: Nevermind, got my answer.

 

[Halcyon]

What do you suggest that I do, GAF? Just take a bunch of selfies?
Anybody here has been in a similar situation?

I had mostly selfies because most of my friends live nowhere close to me and when they do come into town I don't stop what we are doing to take pictures of us doing it.


I never really judged any women based on that. I don't really care if you went hiking and decided to have someone take your picture, or went to a bar with all your friends and took a picture. It doesn't say anything to me about your personality as opposed to a selfie.

 

[GK86]

About to meet up for my third date. Going to go see Annabelle and grab some drinks.

 

[Jhoan]

About to meet up for my third date. Going to go see Annabelle and grab some drinks.

Go get 'em tiger. It looks like it's smooth sailing for you.

It's been a while since I've posted an update. Kyne and GK86 were right on the nose with the Australian girl wanting to find a means of escape; I tried contacting 3 times across but I got nothing back so I eventually deleted her number and moved on ages ago. I also tried contacting the girl I went to the museum but got no reply back so I moved on from her as well.

However, not all is doom and gloom for me because in their places, I've been speaking to a girl who lives two states over after she told me she was going to delete her Tinder so I asked for her number. She seems like a cool girl that she comes into the city often and I've been honest with her about how many girls I've met (didn't mention hook ups) since she asked as well how long I was there for.

The only problem is the weekend she's gonna be in the city, I'm gonna be working at NY Comic Con and told her how important it is to me. She told me to go have fun with my friends; that she understands. I asked her when would be the next time she'd be back in the city and she told me she'd be traveling for 2 weekends which sucks. =/

I also just got a freelance chef's number earlier today who seems to be super into me that we've been flirting back and forth. She told me she's free on the weekdays which will prove to be problematic after Tuesday because of the aforementioned event. So I proposed meeting up on that day. We'll see what happens.

That's pretty much it. Tinder has been a slow grind otherwise since I haven't gotten any other matches' numbers or some have flat out lost interest in replying after I reinitiated the conversation a second time a few days later to a week later.

 

[Rich!]

no?

of course she'll have other dates. so should you.

Why would she even mention she has another date anyway?

Maybe she's just trying to be honest with her status right now?

It's a subtle way of going, hey btw, I'm dating around.

I suppose a blunt "I don't date exclusively until I'm sure I want to commit" could work.

Nah. She's telling you that to either be honest about it OR to just stroke her ego. Personally speaking I'd never tell a girl I'm dating other girls at the same time, that's just me. Your best bet is to play it cool and not care. Or, if you're feeling like a douche, just lie that you also have a bunch of other dates. And then proceed to ignore her for a while in order to make the story seem real (this is not a personal recommendation, just if you're feeling like playing some games for no apparent reason).

Honestly, just be cool about it and continue doing what you're doing. Whatever you do DO NOT make it seem like you're in competition. And do not try to convince her why she should ditch the other guys for you.

thanks for all of your advice, but she's openly told me that this guy is sleeping round hers next week. That's enough for me to decide "nah, fuck it".

Besides, I'm talking to someone else now. She's absolutely stunning, and amazingly hasn't had any luck yet. She says its a combination of her being mixed race (black) and having a child, but I don't give a shit about that.

 

[Smiley90]

thanks for all of your advice, but she's openly told me that this guy is sleeping round hers next week. That's enough for me to decide "nah, fuck it".

Besides, I'm talking to someone else now. She's absolutely stunning, and amazingly hasn't had any luck yet. She says its a combination of her being mixed race (black) and having a child, but I don't give a shit about that.

That's fair enough if you don't wanna go for it.

I went on a date with a girl that openly told me she had been on... I think 7 dates with this other guy so far.

I still ended up spending the night at her place. -shrugs-