It reeks of arrogance but the trend seems to be, as verbally confirned by several women, that I make arrogance look sexy. I can't complain.
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
Saiyan-Rox
Member
I'll look into that now. Yeah I'm an inconsistent typist never notice really but thanks i'll take a look now on the issues maybe re-type the whole thing.
as for pictures I don't have any, i'm not one for taking pictures. In fact the only other one I have is of me seeing Lee Evans a few weeks back and it's an awful awful picture! but I agree I need a new profile pic i'll see what I can do.
I messaged her back (although I didn't ask her out again this time).
She responded with a couple of somewhat long messages, but is it a bad sign she didn't ask me any questions? I'll probably respond to her again soon.
stn
Member
@Xun
Potentially. Here's the thing: if you ever notice a conversation isn't moving along, make a bold move and move it in the direction you want. Simply say the following: "I've enjoyed this convo. If you want to continue it, text me at this number and we can grab a drink." Then, end the conversation.
The best thing to do with online dating is move it away from online. That means even taking a risk moving forward. If the girl likes you she WILL reciprocate. This has been my strategy all the time. I message 1-3 times a day for a few days, once I "feel it" I give the girl my number. The girl gets the option of choosing, I don't come off as desperate, and I don't put her in the position of feeling like she has to give her number.
Potentially. Here's the thing: if you ever notice a conversation isn't moving along, make a bold move and move it in the direction you want. Simply say the following: "I've enjoyed this convo. If you want to continue it, text me at this number and we can grab a drink." Then, end the conversation.
The best thing to do with online dating is move it away from online. That means even taking a risk moving forward. If the girl likes you she WILL reciprocate. This has been my strategy all the time. I message 1-3 times a day for a few days, once I "feel it" I give the girl my number. The girl gets the option of choosing, I don't come off as desperate, and I don't put her in the position of feeling like she has to give her number.
Good advice. I was messaging this girl on Tinder and she never asked any questions back. Usually I would just drop it, but I asked for her number and she gave it. She was a little better with texting, but was really cool once meeting in person. Some people are just bad at internet/phone messaging.
Yeah it is all about the chemistry, just gets horrible when you know there is no chemistry yet you feel too badly to end the date early.
There is nothing in my profile that could get me in trouble, I think I am more scared of guys using my pics to make an insulting profile...or something equally as evil.
Also another story for you all to laugh at,
A guy messaged me on PoF and he said "we both know where this is heading. Lets cut to the chase-call me an insensitive, self involved, immature, asshole and break up with me." I was so confused by it so I replied "who are you?" He said "*facepalm" as if I am supposed to understand what the fuck he is getting at, so I said "i'm sorry but I have bo idea who or what this is" which apparently pissed him off for some unkown reason, he replies "its called a joke but ok good luck"
Someone please explain to me how that is supposed to be funny for a complete stranger.
So I replied "Except it wasnt even funny you psycho" lol.
That made him mad obviously and the lulz began.
Guy: "actually i copy and paste it as an opener and its done me so many wonders, youd think im lieing..ur just stuck up. Stop msging me thanks." All the grammer in that quote is literally what he said exactly.
Me: "lol this attempt. Take some comedy classes and some spelling ones too."
I'm not going to be nice to an idiot.
I could see this line actually working. It's different than just saying " how are you?"
I would like to meet the kind of person that would work on because wtf. Different is not always better, saying "Fuck off with your attitude" or something as a first message is different too and could be a 'joke' but how the hell would it work?
And if he claims it to work so well why is he still on PoF? Lol
Lol did you write it or something?
I can't even fathom how "I'm going to pretend we're in a relationship in the midst of a breakup" would look attractive as a first impression to anyone. It's just fucking weird.
http://www.brobible.com/life/article/42-openers-use-girls-online-dating/
It isn't exactly an original either.
I've never tried that one myself, but he did get a response. I just like asking any girl with a picture of them with a gun if they're all set for the zombie apocalypse.
Ugh I feel so grossed out now that I know where it came from. Thanks for the link, I am now going to use this as a guide on who to block. Why can't people just open with a question about something on the persons profile which implies that you were interested enough to read about them.
None of those listed brotip openers would work on me or IMO any other girl. Which brings me back to my question, who exactly would that mentioned quote work on? It is so dumb and confusing, how do you even get a positive response from such a negative opener?
A recent ice-breaker I tried is asking her if she was stranded on a desert island, what three items would she like to have with her. This gets the conversation flowing about why she'd want them. I then make a point of saying one item, regardless of what it is, is prohibited. This, of course, makes her upset. I say she can have it on one condition - she can have the item if I can have her number. It works every time.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
i think i'll steal the narrative about having a daughter, that must be what works
i'll probably lift some stuff from there that i feel comfortable appending to my profile, thanks.
That's fine, pal. Just checked out your profile, looking sharp. Let me know if the adjustments work for you.i think i'll steal the narrative about having a daughter, that must be what works
i'll probably lift some stuff from there that i feel comfortable appending to my profile, thanks.
Yeah, I'll be "borrowing" some stuff too. My intro self-summary really sucks. And I swear, I didn't steal having random in my username from you!
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
thanks -- most of that was actually already on there. The only thing I really took was the relationship stuff, which I'll probably modify a bit more to make it apply to myself more.
idk, though, havent really gotten much of a success rate from my profile on okcupid.
Why would you want to upset someone upon the first exchange of words?
Not that your tactic is horribly upsetting but seriously.
Is this a popular thing now? Making people feel annoyed/confused/upset/angry? Sounds like last ditch attempts *ahem desperation tactics. It feels like people are doing ANYTHING to 'stand out' in online dating, its getting samey and basic.
ClosingADoor
Member
Well, back in the game. See how it goes. After a year and a half being single again (met on OKC). Hope I still got it. Must say last time this thread helped a bit, so I'll probably keep reading it for some time.
Maybe 'upset' is too strong a word.
j0hnnix
Member
So the girl I've been talking too and had set a second date with on Friday decided we meet up for drinks and dinner yesterday we spent a few hours laughing and talking - we hugged again and she said see you Friday. I am pretty happy with her we have a lot of weird humor in common. Friday will be drinks and pool night. so far things are going smooth..
Well thats very good.
Towards the end of my Online-Dating Experience (i quited, because i was frustrated that in the End it never worked out) i had a kind of "Template" of how i would write to the Girls;
I wrote 1,2 sentences about that one thing that got me interested in her, i also did it in a way that i would seem like i was really excited to found her Profile (mostly i was), then i cutted out from it, and got straight to the Point, saying that i would like to know more about her, and eventutally like to meet her, and i always finished it by saying that they wouldn't regret to meet me. I was always paying attention to make it not sound desperate or perverted, but more cheeky (Thats not that easy online).
Writing like this made my Number of responses grow larger than imagined. I went from an 1/15 to an 2/3 rate of responses. (Numbers partly pulled from my ass, but the first one was definetly correct.)
However, i can not guarantee that writing like this will work like it did for me. You'll have to remember that even though i wrote with an "Template", what i wrote was always honest and the truth.
Teach me your Ways Master!
It's really not all that great. When I first joined OKC, I did have it set to casual sex as what I'm looking for, but I got nothing. I did meet a few, sure, but they were...average. Still, I got my dick wet and that was enough for me. I removed the casual sex part and, naturally, a lot more women took notice. I was, and still am, averaging around ten first-contact messages each day. It's great to start off with, with the fun ice-breakers, etc. But it almost always turns to sex within an hour of talking. There's two things that frustrate me about this.
One, if I'm this stud that I apparently am, then why the fuck does this not happen in real life? I look the same, act the same, and yet nothing. What gives? Secondly, it's double standards. If I initiate any sex talk, I'm a pig. Yet if a girl does it, it's fine. I feel like I need to respond back sexually, too, or else I'd look weird. As I said, I have had random hook ups with girls from OKC, and have another in the next few days, but, like, how do I make it clear I'm not interested in just sex.
What the fuck is wrong with me? I have girls offering pussy on a plate and I'm bitching like a little pussy? The fuck, Cy, grow some balls and plow that shit.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
It's similar to "negging", a classic pick up technique. You do it to elicit a reaction because a negative reaction is better than no reaction. You can also draw a link to the whole "bad boy" stereotype.
So, thats what i was doing wrong, and that also explains the two medio-successfull hook-ups i had this summer...
About your complain: This isn't stupid at all. I can understand how you feel, there is nothing wrong with you
That is very disturbing to hear.
stn
Member
I don't think the girl was actually upset when told one of the items she wanted to take to the island was prohibited. You'd have to be extremely sensitive (and weird) to be upset by something that is obviously a game. I assume it was more of a "omg wtf lol y cant i take that item anymore?" reaction.
My point is, why are negative tactics being used at all? The only people that would bite for those are the ones just lookin to fuck around, because they dont actually give a shit about what you say. Negative tactics are really ...fucked up to me.
For your situation, yeah upset is an incorrect word for what you describe but do you use 'legit' negative tactics? I am not talking about cutesy jokey openers like yours, I am talking about messed up insulting or confusing openers that are intended to get a reaction no matter what the outcome.
No, I don't use 'legit' negative tactics.
I sound sharp in tone, but it's evident its meant jokingly.
Pasta_Soup
Member
Hey man, checked out your profile and adjusted my own in several ways. Thanks for posting this, was really helpful. I've had some extremely mediocre results so far, maybe this will help!
I think another reason your profile is so effective is the "voice" you've been able to create. You feel like a lively, expressive, fun, unique dude. Majority of profiles I read through lack some of these elements.
Yeah exactly, the thing about what you jus displayed is that you put in smileys and its an opener that didnt stem from a completely out of context event. The people that use negative tactics dont use any smileys or lols or hahas or anything. Sarcasm is really hard to detect through words that have no inflection.
User 479360
Banned
I've tried online dating for a while now, but I usually only use the sites on rare occasions. I'm far from a ladies man, and am pretty boring in general, as well as not all that attractive. I don't really have any luck as a result. Even if the odd message I send gets a response, they usually get bored of talking to me pretty quickly.
Drinking gives me the cojones to send messages, usually, and I'd normally only bother with the sites when drinking at a friend's and bored.
I try not to expect a lot from it, and am afraid of the changes that being in a relationship would bring to my solitary life, but I do want one.
I get some responses on Meet Me, but usually no messages, and do enjoy answering questions on OkCupid, but that's about it.
EDIT: I should say that I manned up the other night and sent out a few messages to matches who seemed interesting. I'm not shallow, and usually don't even bother with the incredibly hot girls on those sites, but these ones were pretty good looking. I felt I'd get responses, but the first two have yet to reply whereas the third thanked me for messaging her because it was nice. I tried to be more talkative and joked about her being a Habs fan, and talked about the Blue Jays (her profile was full of sports talk), but no reply after the first.
Drinking gives me the cojones to send messages, usually, and I'd normally only bother with the sites when drinking at a friend's and bored.
I try not to expect a lot from it, and am afraid of the changes that being in a relationship would bring to my solitary life, but I do want one.
I get some responses on Meet Me, but usually no messages, and do enjoy answering questions on OkCupid, but that's about it.
EDIT: I should say that I manned up the other night and sent out a few messages to matches who seemed interesting. I'm not shallow, and usually don't even bother with the incredibly hot girls on those sites, but these ones were pretty good looking. I felt I'd get responses, but the first two have yet to reply whereas the third thanked me for messaging her because it was nice. I tried to be more talkative and joked about her being a Habs fan, and talked about the Blue Jays (her profile was full of sports talk), but no reply after the first.
About negging: I've never understood the technique and I've received a lot of positive responses from women because I was disarmingly positive and honest with them, to the point that they actually comment on it.
I have a second date lined up on Sunday with this girl. But she doesn't want to do Christmas-y things. Ideas?
edit: It's also Winter. And cold. And snowy.
I have a second date lined up on Sunday with this girl. But she doesn't want to do Christmas-y things. Ideas?
edit: It's also Winter. And cold. And snowy.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Do you want to build a snowman?
NoctisVsStar
Member
Hibernate like a bear with her...Lol jp
On a serious note go somewhere where you can be all hugged up and such. A nice restuarant and maybe movies/bar afterwards? And to end the night walking around holding hands while watching the snow fall admiring the scenery! My Casanova instincts pop up out of nowhere so I apologize xD
Noooo no more Frozen references lol. The snow isn't any good for snowman building, because it's been cycling between warm and cold for the past while.
Unfortunately, still second date, so none of that Casanova stuff. My friend suggested mini-golf, but I need something more stimulating.
NoctisVsStar
Member
Well stimulating is quite a fascinating word lol it's the second date I assume both of you are more comfortable with eachother and if I'm not mistaken she did accept to see you a second time so perhaps she likes you. I guess it's time for you to show some interest and bring out your Casanova mode on, by that I don't mean go pepe le pew on her lol but to be flirty, compliment her, hold her hand, if you playing around tap her shoulder, small little details in a non creepy way. However, if you do this it better be because you feel this way and not saying just cause.
NoctisVsStar
Member
So guys/girls my luck lately has been facepalm worthy. It seems like everytime I meet a girl and we feeling eachother they always have a bf -.- like I got paired up with this hot colombiana chick in class she's a 10. So we talking harmless and whatnot like I know I could hook up for a fling but I'm not looking for that. It's like everytime you meet an awesome chick there always taken. Goddamn Gaf lol
Any of you guys/girls experience this? Like you meet someone for the first time convo flowing and you can tell she's feeling you but she got a man/woman. Can't help but wonder when I will bump into that single girl that we feel eachother and hopefully blossom into something.
Any of you guys/girls experience this? Like you meet someone for the first time convo flowing and you can tell she's feeling you but she got a man/woman. Can't help but wonder when I will bump into that single girl that we feel eachother and hopefully blossom into something.
Oh don't worry, I can do all that and more when the time comes, but I always like to take things slowly
I always seem to undersell myself in my posts at times
Don't discount mini-golf! Part of the magic of golfing (and bowling) is how easily it lends itself to touching. Girl says "i'm not really good at this", you stand behind her, guide her motions, help her do well, say "see? you're a natural!" Plus you can make flirty little bets..."I get this putt, you have to kiss me. I miss, I have to kiss you"
If that's not your speed, here are some other ideas...
- Botanical Gardens. Many will have winter flower and lights displays up now.
- Museums/Science Centers. Some will have 21 and over nights with alcohol.
- Bookstore. Each person finds a book they think the other should read.
- Dave and Busters. A bit typical, but still fun.
- Piano bar or any place you can listen to live music.
jadedm17
Member
Ice skating and cocoa, easy.
NoctisVsStar
Member
Oh don't worry, I can do all that and more when the time comes, but I always like to take things slowly
I always seem to undersell myself in my posts at times
Your avatar gives that impression lol
TheAbsolution
Member
Ugh, so many dudes just do not respond.
Or we have a short conversation and don't say anything after the initial conversation.
Online dating is hard.
Or we have a short conversation and don't say anything after the initial conversation.
Online dating is hard.
What are you usually writing to them?
This happens so much its sick, hot guy walks in and starts to make conversation super nice then "oh my girlfriend says-" like fuck!
I swear that every guy that goes to office stores are never single. It is a fact.
See? We told you so! You shouldn't doubt yourself man and assume the worst as I've been there before (still get it from time to time). It's called anticipatory fear. ;p
Oh she's definitely still interested that she sent some lengthy replies; whenever I'm interested in a girl, I send out a big block of text. If she's interested, she'll reply with the same length. Otherwise, I agree with what stn and turtle553 said. Sometimes when you know the conversation is going dry, it's better to stop beating around the bush and go straight for the number. Also, I have this female friend from college that I haven't seen in several months who's notorious for being god awful at texting/responding to her Facebook messages but whenever we talk in person, she's as cool as ever. It's hilarious so I tease her for it from time to time.
Is it the same girl that you scheduling issues with or another one? Either way, that's fantastic.
To the both of you, I'll repost the same thing I told Xun which in effect, worked for him:
Jipan said:
I'm in major procrastination mode as I have to prepare a few things for final project. xD
That being said, I've been there before. The most recent example when it happened was about a month and change ago. Met a cute Paraguayan girl during this event where my club's governing body was having a brunch event where all the publications were promoting their stuff. Started talking to her and we clicked that we had a good conversation and lots in common including graduating.
Instead of letting her go like I've normally done in the past with girls that were interested in me, I caught up to her and kept on talking to her. Long story short, she would end up telling me via text that she wouldn't feel comfortable hanging out with me since she had a boyfriend. I told her that she's probably in a happy relationship that I wouldn't want to intrude on her, said it was nice and told her I would see her around before promptly deleting her number/texts without any hesitation. Either way, I felt good for doing it instead of wondering what could've been.
In retrospect, I shouldn't have deleted her number since I'm sure she could've introduced me to other single female friends instead had I told her so I would advise you do the same. You never know where that door will lead. Otherwise, if you can't accept being friends with girls who have boyfriends then you're better off moving on. More female friends, the better I always say as long as you're not lingering around expecting to win them over.
@CyanideStrike, your messages are bold and smooth at the same time. It's as cool as James Bond. Saw your profile as well and it reeks with confidence and sincerity. It also helps that you're a DILF in the eyes of many women since women love single dads. Every time I go out with my brothers, my older brother is always getting checked out by women even though he's married because my toddler niece is in tow. Whenever I decide to get active again on OKC, I'll keep your profile in mind as a point of reference as well as that desert message.
If I've been quiet in this thread, then it's because I'm taking a break from Tinder/online dating for a couple of weeks since it became addicting. It's too distracting what final projects happening, the holidays, and thinking about post-graduation plans. I find that dating girls sidetracks me from achieving my goals. I do hope to stay in touch with a few cute classmates though. Will continue lurking.