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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond

SRG01

Member
Don't discount mini-golf! Part of the magic of golfing (and bowling) is how easily it lends itself to touching. Girl says "i'm not really good at this", you stand behind her, guide her motions, help her do well, say "see? you're a natural!" Plus you can make flirty little bets..."I get this putt, you have to kiss me. I miss, I have to kiss you"

If that's not your speed, here are some other ideas...
- Botanical Gardens. Many will have winter flower and lights displays up now.
- Museums/Science Centers. Some will have 21 and over nights with alcohol.
- Bookstore. Each person finds a book they think the other should read.
- Dave and Busters. A bit typical, but still fun.
- Piano bar or any place you can listen to live music.

Only problem is that all of those ideas aren't open at great times on Sunday, which is when she's available :/ I like the bookstore idea though.

Ice skating and cocoa, easy.

It's apparently going to be super warm on Sunday so skating is out :(

Your avatar gives that impression lol

LOL it was from fake pic february :)
 

Symphonia

Banned
CyanideStrike, your messages are bold and smooth at the same time. It's as cool as James Bond. Saw your profile as well and it reeks with confidence and sincerity. It also helps that you're a DILF in the eyes of many women since women love single dads. Every time I go out with my brothers, my older brother is always getting checked out by women even though he's married because my toddler niece is in tow. Whenever I decide to get active again on OKC, I'll keep your profile in mind as a point of reference as well as that desert message.
I try to sound arrogant, but not dickish arrogant. Just enough to keep a girl on her toes. I'll compliment them maybe once or twice, but act like it's not a big deal. It's crazy how much women love the tough guy act. Of course that changes when discussion switches to my daughter, though. I do genuinely find it difficult talking about her as I miss her like mad, and this comes across strongly in the messages whenever it's bought up. Again, though, it works well and always has the girls gushing over me, heh.
 

SRG01

Member
I bit the bullet guys and gals. I'm on eHarmony. Will let you all know if it's worth it versus the free stuff!

Nearly all paysites I've used were infinitely better than the free ones. The experiences aren't even in the same ballpark.
 
About negging: I've never understood the technique and I've received a lot of positive responses from women because I was disarmingly positive and honest with them, to the point that they actually comment on it.

I have a second date lined up on Sunday with this girl. But she doesn't want to do Christmas-y things. Ideas?

edit: It's also Winter. And cold. And snowy.

Yeah, for what it's worth, me too. I think the key -- and I realize, by the way, how cliché this sounds -- is not handicapping yourself by adopting some kind of persona that you're not "comfortable" with. In a few weeks on OKCupid, I've already met 4 quality girls, had middling-to-terrible dates with 2 more, and am slated to meet 2 others.

My profile outright says I'm a nice guy, that I like Taylor Swift, Ke$ha, and NBA League Pass, and that I adore my puppy. Maybe it's the location -- and that I'm targeting young professional women (or rather, they're all targeting me) -- but I haven't had issues. In fact, I tell all of them that my philosophy's that I want to meet interesting, intelligent, fun people, and that if there's an additional spark, that's great. If not, we can probably be good friends.

tl;dr: I do all the wrong things and preemptively suggest friendship, and it works?
 

Heysoos

Member
Hey guys, so how does Coffee Meets Bagel work? We both like each other and it lets us chat through the app right? Or does it actually send me something through text to my phone? So my very first match recently sent me a message through Facebook since we had some mutual friends, wondering why I never messaged her.. But I never received anything. I pretty much gave up on that App since I was never getting any likes back but it seems that she did but I never received anything.. Was I supposed to receive a text or does it just use the app?
 

turtle553

Member
Hey guys, so how does Coffee Meets Bagel work? We both like each other and it lets us chat through the app right? Or does it actually send me something through text to my phone? So my very first match recently sent me a message through Facebook since we had some mutual friends, wondering why I never messaged her.. But I never received anything. I pretty much gave up on that App since I was never getting any likes back but it seems that she did but I never received anything.. Was I supposed to receive a text or does it just use the app?

You should get a text to the phone number you entered in the site. It is a private number that directly texts the other person and expires after like a week. I've never had a match without getting the CMB text saying there was a match.
 

Salamando

Member
tl;dr: I do all the wrong things and preemptively suggest friendship, and it works?

Could have sworn this happened in Friends. Joey starts telling girls he just wants to be friends with them to start, and it just makes them want him more.


I tried eHarmony. It only seems to work when the girls message you first, as I haven't gotten any replies back from anything I've sent out. But I do have a promising lunch-date with a very pretty single mom on Sunday. We'll see how it goes.

Also have a potential coffee date with a cute nerdy girl from OKC. Trying to find out when she's free. I seem to attract a lot of liberal arts majors working a ton of hours in order to make ends meet.
 

Heysoos

Member
You should get a text to the phone number you entered in the site. It is a private number that directly texts the other person and expires after like a week. I've never had a match without getting the CMB text saying there was a match.

I never received anything. :/ We both liked each other, she sent me a screenshot of her history. Hrm. So if it does send me something through text then there's something wrong with my phone or something. Yesterday I tried logging in to my Chase account from my mom's laptop and it required a code that I requested to be delivered through text, never got that either.. Maybe my service is blocking this?
 

Valus

Member
Could have sworn this happened in Friends. Joey starts telling girls he just wants to be friends with them to start, and it just makes them want him more.


I tried eHarmony. It only seems to work when the girls message you first, as I haven't gotten any replies back from anything I've sent out. But I do have a promising lunch-date with a very pretty single mom on Sunday. We'll see how it goes.

Also have a potential coffee date with a cute nerdy girl from OKC. Trying to find out when she's free. I seem to attract a lot of liberal arts majors working a ton of hours in order to make ends meet.

Really? I've only been on it for a few days and have gotten those 5-question responses from more than half the girls I initiated with. Unless you're talking about something else...
 

Heysoos

Member
I never received anything. :/ We both liked each other, she sent me a screenshot of her history. Hrm. So if it does send me something through text then there's something wrong with my phone or something. Yesterday I tried logging in to my Chase account from my mom's laptop and it required a code that I requested to be delivered through text, never got that either.. Maybe my service is blocking this?

oh jesus christ sprint. Turns out that Sprint was blocking this stuff, along with my Chase texts. Wonder how many I missed because of this. On the bright side, one reached out to me.
 

Salamando

Member
Really? I've only been on it for a few days and have gotten those 5-question responses from more than half the girls I initiated with. Unless you're talking about something else...

Yep. Sent a couple dozen five questions things, no responses. Likely some combination of messaging girls who aren't online that often and my profile could use more pics. Not worried too much right now...I limit myself to messaging three girls at a time, and I'm at that mark.
 
What are you usually writing to them?
.
Well, I usually start off with asking them a question related to their profile but maybe that's not the right way.
I get some responses back that way but also I'm having trouble with taking it to real life stuff maybe? Like when should I ask these dudes out?
 

Symphonia

Banned
So has anyone ever had that thing where you see a real nice profile photo on OKC/POF, in my case her ass, click on the profile and have that moment of horror when you realise it's your ex? I did tonight and two thoughts went through my head. One, fuck, she's going to wonder why I'm looking at her profile. And two, damn, why the fuck did I let that go!?
 

FelixOrion

Poet Centuriate
The only account I have open atm is my Tinder account, and I've left that to rot. Should probably shutter it. Just...so uninterested in dating anymore. Tired of getting nowhere.
 

woodchuck

Member
You should get a text to the phone number you entered in the site. It is a private number that directly texts the other person and expires after like a week. I've never had a match without getting the CMB text saying there was a match.

In the old version of the app, it's a private number. In the newer version, you text within the app. Its annoying but I just turn on notifications
 

jadedm17

Member
So has anyone ever had that thing where you see a real nice profile photo on OKC/POF, in my case her ass, click on the profile and have that moment of horror when you realise it's your ex? I did tonight and two thoughts went through my head. One, fuck, she's going to wonder why I'm looking at her profile. And two, damn, why the fuck did I let that go!?
One, who cares? Two, reasons.
Her ass is her main profile pic? You're not missing much.
 

Protag

Banned
Started talking to this cool chick for about three weeks.

Slowly find out shes a sort of nymphomaniac who likes bbc porn.

Yesterday nights conversation ended with her saying she was going on on campus to party, "looking to get laid".

Brehs, i was like "the fuck? I dont want to know this if im not laying it down!"

Joked with her about being using protection, she joked back. She texted me and i didnt respond after, was sorta offput.

Really liked her, but upon these new developments, plus the fact that shes in college outta state, means nothings happening with us. Shes still a cool friend though.

Too bad, we had good chemistry when we chilled in person!
 
So has anyone ever had that thing where you see a real nice profile photo on OKC/POF, in my case her ass, click on the profile and have that moment of horror when you realise it's your ex? I did tonight and two thoughts went through my head. One, fuck, she's going to wonder why I'm looking at her profile. And two, damn, why the fuck did I let that go!?

I can beat you on this one. I encouraged my ex-wife (with whom I'm still best friends) to open an account.

We're still a 99% match.

Well, I usually start off with asking them a question related to their profile but maybe that's not the right way.
I get some responses back that way but also I'm having trouble with taking it to real life stuff maybe? Like when should I ask these dudes out?

Asking a question related to their profile's a fine way of doing it. I have an intentional obvious-question in mine - I say that I'm living in one of the 4 cities in the U.S. that I'd stand living in - and at least 50% of people who message me ask what the other 3 are. Those who just ask that, I probably ignore, but once you've got that question out of the way, it's easier to write other things.

As far as transitioning to other mediums, that depends. (See the discussion above.) I've had long, long messages back and forth, and I've also had really short messages that weren't very substantive. I can tell you that, of those with whom I conversed at length, whether via messages or text, prior to meeting, I've had good experiences with. Of those that were far more casual and shifted into "hey, let's get drinks this Thursday," one went very well and the other was appallingly bad.

I guess that doesn't help.

Here's a line that works, though: "By the way, if you prefer texting, my number is..." Simple and to the point, I think.
 

Sky Chief

Member
I was messaging with this girl for about a week and went out with her the Thursday before Thanksgiving. Things went really well but no kissing or anything but we went to a couple bars and had really good conversation and played some epic Jenga.

Then last Friday we went out again to a basketball game. Things were amazing, we were talking all the time and I walked her home and we sat on the bench in front of her place and kissed and cuddled and stuff for at least an hour and I said in passing we should build a gingerbread house.

So after that we keep texting and she is telling me how much she likes me and such and she seems really excited about the gingerbread house and invites me over to build it on Monday. I bring all the stuff and we have a great time, she is just cuddling with me and we're laughing and kissing and so on. I drive home and she texts me thanking me for a great night and telling me stuff like I should write a book on date ideas because it was so amazing.

The next day she texts me with silly, flirty conversation and I respond likewise. But then the last few days she just hasn't even texted and when I text I seem to be getting forced nice replies or none at all. I just write it off that she's really busy but then today I go online and see she is on so I guess she has enough time to talk to other guys online but not to me. Honestly, I am a little surprised because she gave me the impression that she really liked me even more than I liked her and she seemed like a really nice girl who wouldn't do something like that. I am just trying to take it in stride but I must admit I am a little upset and surprised.
 
Well the gingerbread house was date 3... You usually should discuss where you're at by that point. I made that mistake once: Thought things were going well after the third date but she just stopped responding to my texts because I didn't bring it up.
 

megamerican

Member
Well the gingerbread house was date 3... You usually should discuss where you're at by that point. I made that mistake once: Thought things were going well after the third date but she just stopped responding to my texts because I didn't bring it up.

Is this a common thing for date three? I would find this awfully needy so early on.
 

Symphonia

Banned
One, who cares? Two, reasons.

Her ass is her main profile pic? You're not missing much.
I care. We still talk on a friend level. It would be weird for her to find I literally was checking her ass out. And, yeah, I know you're right, we split for a reason. But damn, son, dat ass. I really am missing out.

I can beat you on this one. I encouraged my ex-wife (with whom I'm still best friends) to open an account.

We're still a 99% match.
We're a 69% match, ironically.
 
I'm so confused right now.

I was talking to a girl on tinder, we made plans to go out last Thursday but I had to cancel because I was genuinely sick. She understood and suggested we go out this week which I said yes to. A couple of days go by and I go to message her but she's gone. So I just put her in my fuck it and move on pile.

Anyways I'm having a browse on Tinder last night and her profile comes up, I swipe right thinking nothing will happen. I wake up during the night, check my phone and see that we've been matched again and she's messaged me saying "...either you unmatched me or my Tinder is broken". I replied this morning saying " I didn't unmatch, I was serious about going for a drink. Add me on Facebook in case it happens again and there's my number " she replies saying it must be her tinder and gave me her number because she was going to delete it.

I save her number, check Facebook and see she's sent a request which I accept. I leave it a bit before sending her a message on Facebook. I hear nothing back so go to check to see if she's read it.

Turns out I've been blocked. She just shows as Facebook User in Messenger and doesn't show up when I search for her but she does when my friend looks.

Seriously wtf was the point in that.
 
I've sent her a message on WhatsApp, 30 minutes later it's still showing as sent but not delivered so I presume she's blocked my number as well.

I seriously don't understand why she's done it. I rarely use Facebook these days, there's certainly nothing on there that would offend her, she's a student up here and we have no friends in common so it's not as if I've had anything to do with any of her friends.
 
Might be tons of things. Maybe she had second thoughts. Maybe she showed your picture to a friend and got negative comments. You will never know. On to the next one. It sucks, but that is online dating. It never makes sense :p
 
Might be tons of things. Maybe she had second thoughts. Maybe she showed your picture to a friend and got negative comments. You will never know. On to the next one. It sucks, but that is online dating. It never makes sense :p

Fair enough I just think the way she's done it is a bit harsh. If the roles were reversed I certainly wouldn't do it the way she has.
 

corn_fest

Member
Welp, managed to get a date off of Tinder for the first time (she messaged me). Gonna head out in a half hour or so. This'll really be the first "first date" I've done, since I only went on one with a friend before. Oddly I'm not that anxious about it.
I'll, uh, let you know how it goes, GAF.

Edit: Was okay, not really awkward or anything, but I don't think either of us were really feeling it. I feel alright about it.
 
Yet I go another hot asian girl on Tinder. The last one had to go back to Korea or something for family. Starting talking to this one and we have a lot of common. Might get some coffee with her soon.
 

dskillzhtown

keep your strippers out of my American football
I'm so confused right now.



Seriously wtf was the point in that.

I had a similar experience. Basically things were going great, we met in person and all that. Things were going good and then all of a sudden I was cut off. A few days later she sent me a text saying that she got back with her ex (who was abusive towards her in the past), and apologized. I didn't respond, just let it be.

.
 

davepoobond

you can't put a price on sparks
Rang the girl a couple of hours before I was due to go see her. She answered out of breath. A voice in the background told her to come back to bed. I'd heard enough.

I don't get the point of her answering at all like that, other than to basically blow you off.
 

Piano

Banned
Should I
get an OKCupid
or
get Tinder
or both?
I deactivated my Facebook a couple of years ago
but
I'm going to reactivate it soon to grab pictures of myself...

Thanks to the OP and everyone else for the helpful thread. Still, though, I'm new to this and it's all quite intimidating. I got rid of my Facebook precisely because I didn't like people being able to window shop my life but man I've got to meet some women or something.

So, what do I do? Give all of my money to eHarmony?
Sorry for the vague post. I've got so many questions and reservations I don't even know where to start!
 

SRG01

Member
Should I
get an OKCupid
or
get Tinder
or both?
I deactivated my Facebook a couple of years ago
but
I'm going to reactivate it soon to grab pictures of myself...

Thanks to the OP and everyone else for the helpful thread. Still, though, I'm new to this and it's all quite intimidating. I got rid of my Facebook precisely because I didn't like people being able to window shop my life but man I've got to meet some women or something.

So, what do I do? Give all of my money to eHarmony?
Sorry for the vague post. I've got so many questions and reservations I don't even know where to start!

Before you start online dating, how's your dating situation in real life? Do you have any opportunities to go out and meet people (as in, not dating as well)?

The biggest problem many people have, myself included for this past while, is that it's easy to get stuck in the world of online dating. It must be a complement to your existing social life; the convenience of online dating is an illusion and is, in many cases, harder than meeting people in person.
 

Piano

Banned
Before you start online dating, how's your dating situation in real life? Do you have any opportunities to go out and meet people (as in, not dating as well)?

The biggest problem many people have, myself included for this past while, is that it's easy to get stuck in the world of online dating. It must be a complement to your existing social life; the convenience of online dating is an illusion and is, in many cases, harder than meeting people in person.

Well, here's the situation, as best as I can summarize it.

I'm 24, back in my home town pursuing a second bachelor's degree. All of the friends I made through school and summer jobs are far away in other parts of the country and all but a couple of my friends from home have since moved out of this place. Meeting people in general has been hard because of the age difference between me and everyone in my program - meeting people my age has been impossible. I've made friends with some of the slightly older undergraduates (20/21 yrs old) and briefly dated a 21 year old from one of my classes but she ended up having some hang-ups that interfered and I broke it off.

My original plan for college was to move out west but personal issues prevented it from happening. I had girlfriend #3 out there, spent winter 2013-2014 there but we broke up when it became clear I was going to be here at home for the next few years. Other than dating the one girl from school for a few weeks I've been single and celibate since February ... my driest period since age 18.

I'm not really sure what I'm looking for. I'm still very caught up on girlfriend #2, from college, whom I separated from 18 months ago. It's a long story, but there has been some talk of her moving here in a year, us getting back together if things feel right. We only talk twice a month - and no texting in between - so as to maintain space and have both dated other folks (like girlfriend #3 I mentioned above).

So in the meantime I need to do my own thing. It would be ideal if I met someone here who helps me move on from my exes that I'm still caught up on (both breakups were due to distance). Freshman & sophomore year of college I used to be absolutely ace at getting hookups every weekend at any party I went to ... but I don't know if I'm as into random, empty hookups these days. I think I'd like to just meet someone, see where it goes, learn about them and learn about myself.

I would just look around campus but, like, they're all so young. I don't think I could ever date younger than 21, which is only a fraction of the campus population (excluding graduate students, whom I've found are mostly a few years older than me and I have no way of meeting). And there's no way to know how old anyone is. I'm not about to go spend the night in a dorm. If I can help it.

Several friends, guys and girls, have encouraged me to check out online dating while several others have said they had poor experiences. Who knows.
 

Jzero

Member
I got the "We're having technical difficulties" message from OKCupid, i don't know why they banned me, i never do anything wrong. Oh well haha not going to re-do all those fucking questions again.
 

Blunoise

Member
Idk guys been trying this for week on tinder and ok Cupid. No real luck guys I'll gey some matches or likes but when I message they either delete or no reply back. It's really depressing since I don't get any play outside of life. I'm a good looking guy but I just don't know what order I'm sending off that keeps me rejected. I told my close fired( a girl) I didn't want to try this and the results are not telling me different
 
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