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[ClosingADoor]

Idk guys been trying this for week on tinder and ok Cupid. No real luck guys I'll gey some matches or likes but when I message they either delete or no reply back. It's really depressing since I don't get any play outside of life. I'm a good looking guy but I just don't know what order I'm sending off that keeps me rejected. I told my close fired( a girl) I didn't want to try this and the results are not telling me different

I got not much to add about Tinder, but on OKC, don't wait around for likes and stuff. Just grab an hour or two on a evening, go through all the search results and message anyone you might like. Most won't reply back, that's normal and happens to everyone, don't worry about it. How many people did you message? If this isn't at least 10 - 20 a day (if you are living in a large city) it isn't enough.

Make sure you have a nice main picture to grab attention. Make sure your profile isn't too serious and keep it short and to the point. Play around with your main image and see which gets more views on your profile after messaging people.

You'll get better at it when you start caring less. It sounds stupid, but it's true. At that point, you don't think too much about messages, it will come across more natural and be received better. That is my experience at least.

Also, keep your messages short and to the point. Say hi, write a question about something in their profile, maybe tell something about yourself (see they have been in a certain city, say it if you've been there too, etc). Don't talk too much and keep it light.

Good luck!

 

[Symphonia]

You're not alone on the deleting front either. A number of times, I've had girls deactive after I message them. Its demoralising, sure, but it ain't the end of the world. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on to the next one.

 

[Blunoise]

I got not much to add about Tinder, but on OKC, don't wait around for likes and stuff. Just grab an hour or two on a evening, go through all the search results and message anyone you might like. Most won't reply back, that's normal and happens to everyone, don't worry about it. How many people did you message? If this isn't at least 10 - 20 a day (if you are living in a large city) it isn't enough.

Make sure you have a nice main picture to grab attention. Make sure your profile isn't too serious and keep it short and to the point. Play around with your main image and see which gets more views on your profile after messaging people.

You'll get better at it when you start caring less. It sounds stupid, but it's true. At that point, you don't think too much about messages, it will come across more natural and be received better. That is my experience at least.

Also, keep your messages short and to the point. Say hi, write a question about something in their profile, maybe tell something about yourself (see they have been in a certain city, say it if you've been there too, etc). Don't talk too much and keep it light.

Good luck!

thanks on the pointers i'll take note. i do think i have nice pics but i'll test which one has more likes.also i went to edit my profile summary to sound more witty fun and interesting so hopefully that will help as well.

 

[y2dvd]

Kinda been laying off of online dating as I'm still dating the same girl from Tinder for about 4 months now. We are becoming more exclusive and things are going pretty great. I'm slowly introducing her to my nerdy culture and she is hesitantly accepting it lol. We can be exact opposites on many things but it's been a working dynamic. I can possibly see us clashing a lot due our differences, but we're letting this play out.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Very attractive girl "likes" me on OKC, I can't send her a message presumably because her mailbox is full. I have a feeling she likes everyone and is loving all the attention.

 

[SRG01]

Well, here's the situation, as best as I can summarize it.

I'm 24, back in my home town pursuing a second bachelor's degree. All of the friends I made through school and summer jobs are far away in other parts of the country and all but a couple of my friends from home have since moved out of this place. Meeting people in general has been hard because of the age difference between me and everyone in my program - meeting people my age has been impossible. I've made friends with some of the slightly older undergraduates (20/21 yrs old) and briefly dated a 21 year old from one of my classes but she ended up having some hang-ups that interfered and I broke it off.

My original plan for college was to move out west but personal issues prevented it from happening. I had girlfriend #3 out there, spent winter 2013-2014 there but we broke up when it became clear I was going to be here at home for the next few years. Other than dating the one girl from school for a few weeks I've been single and celibate since February ... my driest period since age 18.

I'm not really sure what I'm looking for. I'm still very caught up on girlfriend #2, from college, whom I separated from 18 months ago. It's a long story, but there has been some talk of her moving here in a year, us getting back together if things feel right. We only talk twice a month - and no texting in between - so as to maintain space and have both dated other folks (like girlfriend #3 I mentioned above).

So in the meantime I need to do my own thing. It would be ideal if I met someone here who helps me move on from my exes that I'm still caught up on (both breakups were due to distance). Freshman & sophomore year of college I used to be absolutely ace at getting hookups every weekend at any party I went to ... but I don't know if I'm as into random, empty hookups these days. I think I'd like to just meet someone, see where it goes, learn about them and learn about myself.

I would just look around campus but, like, they're all so young. I don't think I could ever date younger than 21, which is only a fraction of the campus population (excluding graduate students, whom I've found are mostly a few years older than me and I have no way of meeting). And there's no way to know how old anyone is. I'm not about to go spend the night in a dorm. If I can help it.

Several friends, guys and girls, have encouraged me to check out online dating while several others have said they had poor experiences. Who knows.

There has to be undergrads older than 21. You'll meet a lot of them in student clubs and all that. A good portion of my undergraduate classes had plenty of students that were 20-21 when I was 18-19. Also, sometimes there are mature women who are younger than 21. It just depends on the person... but they are hard to find.

At any rate, student clubs and off-campus social events are a great way to meet people your age.

Are you living in a college town or a regular-sized city?

 

[Passive Assassin]

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=85543033

have at it!

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

So in the meantime I need to do my own thing. It would be ideal if I met someone here who helps me move on from my exes that I'm still caught up on (both breakups were due to distance). Freshman & sophomore year of college I used to be absolutely ace at getting hookups every weekend at any party I went to ... but I don't know if I'm as into random, empty hookups these days. I think I'd like to just meet someone, see where it goes, learn about them and learn about myself.

1. Don't meet a girl to get over another one.
2. Age is irrelevant. Anyone can be a student, don't ignore someone because they're younger.
3. Join some clubs or sports teams to meet people.

 

[ClosingADoor]

thanks on the pointers i'll take note. i do think i have nice pics but i'll test which one has more likes.also i went to edit my profile summary to sound more witty fun and interesting so hopefully that will help as well.

Hope it works out. Maybe some others have some input also. Just have fun with it and see how it goes. But try not to use it as your only way to meet girls.

have at it!

I'm no expert, but I'd change a few things. Maybe change the main pic to the third one (white shirt on the grass)? And I'd put in a photo where you laugh into the camera if you got one.

Sleeping and eating are no hobbies and I'd remove it. Makes you seem lazy, while the hiking and swimming shows an active personality on their own.

Maybe leave out the 'better paying job' part. Implies you have a shitty job now (might be true, shouldn't matter, but still). Leave out the part where you are 'thinking about' taking that world tour. Just put in you want to do it after school.

'I'm here for a casual relationship that will maybe lead into something more.' I'd change that to something like 'I'd love to meet some fun people, go out and see where it goes from there.' The 'casual relationship' to me read like 'I want sex'.

Maybe I read too much into the text, so others might want to chime in.

 

[Tabasco]

I've been out of the Tinder game for a while now.

For loners like myself, what kind of pictures should I have? Using a tripod is quite inconvenient, and it's difficult to take nice looking pictures of social settings and what not.

I feel like I'm not getting matches because of my boring looking profile.

 

[FelixOrion]

Tinder: "There's no one new around you."

20 mile radius, 9 year age range.

fml

 

[turtle553]

Tinder: "There's no one new around you."

20 mile radius, 9 year age range.

fml

If you go to your settings and disable discovery and then go back to the main page and re-enable discovery, it should give you more people.

 

[Passive Assassin]

Hope it works out. Maybe some others have some input also. Just have fun with it and see how it goes. But try not to use it as your only way to meet girls.


I'm no expert, but I'd change a few things. Maybe change the main pic to the third one (white shirt on the grass)? And I'd put in a photo where you laugh into the camera if you got one.

Sleeping and eating are no hobbies and I'd remove it. Makes you seem lazy, while the hiking and swimming shows an active personality on their own.

Maybe leave out the 'better paying job' part. Implies you have a shitty job now (might be true, shouldn't matter, but still). Leave out the part where you are 'thinking about' taking that world tour. Just put in you want to do it after school.

'I'm here for a casual relationship that will maybe lead into something more.' I'd change that to something like 'I'd love to meet some fun people, go out and see where it goes from there.' The 'casual relationship' to me read like 'I want sex'.

Maybe I read too much into the text, so others might want to chime in.

those are valid points. will change now! thanks! want to try round 2 for the okcupid account? www.okcupid.com/profile/thedarkspoofers?cf=profile

 

[stn]

IMO, this is all you need for a perfect profile:

-Take the best pics you can. Make sure you SMILE! If not, at least do the "sexy" look.
-Put humor in every section of the profile. I've done this and I always get complimented.
-Avoid stating dislikes, obvious things, or demands (people do it and its unappealing).
-Use proper grammar!!

My profile on OKC is EXTREMELY short, I'm talkin' one sentence per section. I got messaged four times today alone. The short length is good because each section becomes a bit more "memorable" if you will. Its easier on the eyes and I think, psychologically, people may be more inclined to scroll through the whole thing if they realize its very short. I'm no expert but I do believe this is the ideal way to create a profile.

Also, if you're on OKC: answer the questions every day, include details. Say, every 5-10 hours you answer 3 questions. Takes mere minutes to do, puts your profile at the top. That way the girls find you.

@Passive Assassin

I made my post above as a general point, then I saw your profile and figured I'd make an edit. Let me know what you think! My advice is in bold.

My self-summary
Hi there. I'm going through school and working at the same time. I'm pretty laid back and is usually up for anything that involves outdoors type of stuff, such as swimming, hiking, and exploring new places. I'm currently planning on travelling to Southeast Asia after I graduate from CSUS.

This is fine but I'd try to spice it up. Add some humor, something compelling. You don't have to but it would help. Also, fix the grammar.

What I’m doing with my life
I'm currently in my last year for a Computer Science degree at CSU Sacramento and working for the State as a student assistant.
Same advice as above.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

favorite book is catch-22 by joseph heller. damned if you do, damned if you don't.

favorite movie: aliens. james cameron can do no wrong.

favorite show: the wire. the shield is a close second. let me fix my face... house of cards! curb your enthusiasm ...

favorite music: varies alot. right now i'm in the toro y moi and weeknd mood. mostly into indie like death cab for cutie, alternative like phantogram, jazz hip hop like the 49ers, rnb like the weeknd, rap like hieroglyphics, cunninglynguists, some electronic like flight facilities, some house daft punk, some EDM .

favorite food: mexican food. even though carne asada fries isn't really true mexican food, it's still real to me dammit!

Cool, its nice how you added a small blurb after each entry. Shows you have some humor and that you're not just filling out a list. Just fix the grammar.

On a typical Friday night I am
studying, eating, sleeping, hanging out.

Noooooooo. This just comes off as soooooo boring. You're better off saying you spend Friday nights dancing in your underwear (you could actually put that and I bet girls would pick up on it).

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm using okcupid for online dating.

This is the typical things girls admit. Again, same advice as the entry above: add some spice!

You should message me if
you would like to get to know each over ... mexican food. chipotle!

This is fine as is. Though, again, I'd add something unique or funny. And fix the grammar!

 

[FelixOrion]

If you go to your settings and disable discovery and then go back to the main page and re-enable discovery, it should give you more people.

Yeah I force quit the app and restarted, started going again. Afraid for a second I was back to living in the sticks with no one remotely nearby.

IMO, this is all you need for a perfect profile:

-Take the best pics you can. Make sure you SMILE! If not, at least do the "sexy" look.
-Put humor in every section of the profile. I've done this and I always get complimented.
-Avoid stating dislikes, obvious things, or demands (people do it and its unappealing).
-Use proper grammar!!

My profile on OKC is EXTREMELY short, I'm talkin' one sentence per section. I got messaged four times today alone. The short length is good because each section becomes a bit more "memorable" if you will. Its easier on the eyes and I think, psychologically, people may be more inclined to scroll through the whole thing if they realize its very short. I'm no expert but I do believe this is the ideal way to create a profile.

Also, if you're on OKC: answer the questions every day, include details. Say, every 5-10 hours you answer 3 questions. Takes mere minutes to do, puts your profile at the top. That way the girls find you.

Humor is my biggest weak point. My sense of humor is just so self-deprecating or just not suited for text/a dating profile. I keep trying to be clever, but I'm no wacky timedog or whatever. I just have a hard time putting anything 'humorous' into them that is simultaneously also 'me'; it might be impossible, idk.

 

[Passive Assassin]

IMO, this is all you need for a perfect profile:

-Take the best pics you can. Make sure you SMILE! If not, at least do the "sexy" look.
-Put humor in every section of the profile. I've done this and I always get complimented.
-Avoid stating dislikes, obvious things, or demands (people do it and its unappealing).
-Use proper grammar!!

My profile on OKC is EXTREMELY short, I'm talkin' one sentence per section. I got messaged four times today alone. The short length is good because each section becomes a bit more "memorable" if you will. Its easier on the eyes and I think, psychologically, people may be more inclined to scroll through the whole thing if they realize its very short. I'm no expert but I do believe this is the ideal way to create a profile.

Also, if you're on OKC: answer the questions every day, include details. Say, every 5-10 hours you answer 3 questions. Takes mere minutes to do, puts your profile at the top. That way the girls find you.

@Passive Assassin

I made my post above as a general point, then I saw your profile and figured I'd make an edit. Let me know what you think! My advice is in bold.

thanks! will redo after i get done with this final.

 

[Symphonia]

stn, short isn't always going to work. I point this thread, once again, to my OKCupid profile here. Girls dig the length and content on my profile. Plenty to discuss.

 

[Salamando]

Past two nights, had two dates with two different girls. Wondering where each will go from here.

Girl #1 - Single mother. The kid aspect doesn't bother me, but it means we can only meet once a week for like two hours. Conversation could have been better, but I could make her laugh and it was clearer there was romantic intent. Since most of her time is spent with her kid, I don't have much to work with as far as hobbies go.

Girl #2 - Conversation was awesome. Talked for about 2.5 hours until we had to go home 'cause we both work in the morning. Romantic interaction was minimal though. She went for the handshake at the end before I could go for the hug. Entire thing could've easily been two friends going out for coffee.

They were first dates, so looking too much into anything is likely a waste of time.

Thinking of taking Girl#1 out for ice skating and hot chocolate (since we did dinner for first date) and Girl#2 out to a semi-decent dinner. Something to show her that I want to be more than friends...possibly being more forward with touching?

 

[pgtl_10]

I just started an online profile on Plenty of Fish and Match.

I have not subscribed to Match but I am getting a lot of E-mails saying people have winked me, put me as favorite, and I received an e-mail.

Are these legit users or Match trying to get me to subscribe?

Also if I need a subscription just to view an e-mail wouldn't people that I send e-mails to also need subscriptions? What's the point of sending e-mails that no one can see if they are not subscribed?

 

[Jhoan]

I just started an online profile on Plenty of Fish and Match.

I have not subscribed to Match but I am getting a lot of E-mails saying people have winked me, put me as favorite, and I received an e-mail.

Are these legit users or Match trying to get me to subscribe?

Also if I need a subscription just to view an e-mail wouldn't people that I send e-mails to also need subscriptions? What's the point of sending e-mails that no one can see if they are not subscribed?

They're probably real people since as far as I know, Match is a pretty legit online dating website when people are paying a premium. From what I heard, people on the website are looking for relationships as opposed to hook ups/casual sex ala other webites.

To the second question, yes you do need a subscription to be able to view and send messages. It's basically the XBL business model of having half a service if you don't pay up while locking out the full services behind a pay wall. It sucks but what can you do? The question is are you willing to pay to access the services/have the extra money for it? If no, then make an OKC account and/or Tinder. Be advised that success on Match (or any other premium online website) is YMMV since I remember that GAF member DoktorEvil paid for a 6 month subscription but didn't have any success getting dating dates that he's since stopped using it.

As to the length of the profile, I'll agree with CynideStrike that there is no real right or wrong answer as to how long a profile should be. Some people have had success with a meaty profile, others have had success with a bare bones profile that's to the point since people have different attention spans. It ultimately depends on the pictures in the end of the day and what type of one writes on their profile that people of the opposite sex might gravitate towards.

 

[pgtl_10]

They're probably real people since as far as I know, Match is a pretty legit online dating website when people are paying a premium. From what I heard, people on the website are looking for relationships as opposed to hook ups/casual sex ala other webites.

To the second question, yes you do need a subscription to be able to view and send messages. It's basically the XBL business model of having half a service if you don't pay up while locking out the full services behind a pay wall. It sucks but what can you do? The question is are you willing to pay to access the services/have the extra money for it? If no, then make an OKC account and/or Tinder. Be advised that success on Match (or any other premium online website) is YMMV since I remember that GAF member DoktorEvil paid for a 6 month subscription but didn't have any success getting dating dates that he's since stopped using it.

As to the length of the profile, I'll agree with CynideStrike that there is no real right or wrong answer as to how long a profile should be. Some people have had success with a meaty profile, others have had success with a bare bones profile that's to the point since people have different attention spans. It ultimately depends on the pictures in the end of the day and what type of one writes on their profile that people of the opposite sex might gravitate towards.

I am worried that if I choose Match then I will be sending e-mails to people who are not subscribed. Is there a way to only send to people with subscriptions?

 

[SRG01]

They're probably real people since as far as I know, Match is a pretty legit online dating website when people are paying a premium. From what I heard, people on the website are looking for relationships as opposed to hook ups/casual sex ala other webites.

To the second question, yes you do need a subscription to be able to view and send messages. It's basically the XBL business model of having half a service if you don't pay up while locking out the full services behind a pay wall. It sucks but what can you do? The question is are you willing to pay to access the services/have the extra money for it? If no, then make an OKC account and/or Tinder. Be advised that success on Match (or any other premium online website) is YMMV since I remember that GAF member DoktorEvil paid for a 6 month subscription but didn't have any success getting dating dates that he's since stopped using it.

As to the length of the profile, I'll agree with CynideStrike that there is no real right or wrong answer as to how long a profile should be. Some people have had success with a meaty profile, others have had success with a bare bones profile that's to the point since people have different attention spans. It ultimately depends on the pictures in the end of the day and what type of one writes on their profile that people of the opposite sex might gravitate towards.

A girl tried to hook up with me on Match so it does happen...

 

[Jhoan]

I am worried that if I choose Match then I will be sending e-mails to people who are not subscribed. Is there a way to only send to people with subscriptions?

Beats me, I wouldn't know since I've never used Match. Maybe someone else who's in this thread can answer that question since I know there's a few regulars that have used it in the past.

A girl tried to hook up with me on Match so it does happen...

Hahaha, why didn't you go for it?

 

[SRG01]

Beats me, I wouldn't know since I've never used Match. Maybe someone else who's in this thread can answer that question since I know there's a few regulars that have used it in the past.

Hahaha, why didn't you go for it?

Oh, we did. She was the third base girl.

 

[megamerican]

I just started an online profile on Plenty of Fish and Match.

I have not subscribed to Match but I am getting a lot of E-mails saying people have winked me, put me as favorite, and I received an e-mail.

Are these legit users or Match trying to get me to subscribe?

Also if I need a subscription just to view an e-mail wouldn't people that I send e-mails to also need subscriptions? What's the point of sending e-mails that no one can see if they are not subscribed?

There was a user who posted that had the same experience on Match and it turned out it was mostly bullshit ploys to get him to subscribe.

 

[infinitys_7th]

I made a profile on OKC first just to see what the process is like. I sent a few messages, but even in a 50 mile radius there are not a lot of people. I am looking for friends/dating.

Should I go 100 miles (which would grab the nearest big college)?

I am currently just asking questions about their profile when I message, but I am pretty blunt. How should I improve my messages?

 

[DoktorEvil]

They're probably real people since as far as I know, Match is a pretty legit online dating website when people are paying a premium. From what I heard, people on the website are looking for relationships as opposed to hook ups/casual sex ala other webites.

To the second question, yes you do need a subscription to be able to view and send messages. It's basically the XBL business model of having half a service if you don't pay up while locking out the full services behind a pay wall. It sucks but what can you do? The question is are you willing to pay to access the services/have the extra money for it? If no, then make an OKC account and/or Tinder. Be advised that success on Match (or any other premium online website) is YMMV since I remember that GAF member DoktorEvil paid for a 6 month subscription but didn't have any success getting dating dates that he's since stopped using it.

As to the length of the profile, I'll agree with CynideStrike that there is no real right or wrong answer as to how long a profile should be. Some people have had success with a meaty profile, others have had success with a bare bones profile that's to the point since people have different attention spans. It ultimately depends on the pictures in the end of the day and what type of one writes on their profile that people of the opposite sex might gravitate towards.

If you plan to use Match.com, make sure you don't set your billing to auto renew, because I was forced to renew 2 months ago.

I had some hook ups and met a few girls that were definitely looking for husband material moreso than dating, so if you want that, Match.com is for you.

I might as well exhaust my next 4 months abusing Match.com.

Oh, and there's quite a few number of women who don't pay to use it, so if someone indicated interest in you, you should contact then in another avenue. They will either have a cell number or email.

 

[Piano]

There has to be undergrads older than 21. You'll meet a lot of them in student clubs and all that. A good portion of my undergraduate classes had plenty of students that were 20-21 when I was 18-19. Also, sometimes there are mature women who are younger than 21. It just depends on the person... but they are hard to find.

At any rate, student clubs and off-campus social events are a great way to meet people your age.

Are you living in a college town or a regular-sized city?

I just can't think of anything to join. In high school & college the first time around most of my extra-curricular involvement was theater and music groups and that's how I met most of my friends (and girlfriends) ... but now that I'm studying music I'm not sure I want to join more music groups that I'm already obligated to be a part of. Plus theater and music extra-curricular activities often involve lots of extra rehearsals which I'm not sure I have time for. My program is quite time intensive both with classes and with all kinds of random obligations I have several days & nights a week (concerts, teaching observations, etc)

I do have to be in a choir every semester. The girl I dated I met through my choir and I've made a few other friends in it. But since it's my first year I'm in the non-auditioned choir which is predominantly underclassmen. Next fall I'll hopefully be in league with some older folks. Yes, there are undergrads that are older than 21 but they're the minority and most of the ones I've met so far are planning on moving away after they graduate.

My other interests are like ... board games and meditating. There's apparently a Buddhist group on campus (not buddhist but I'd entertain it) but they don't have any more meetings until next semester, I think?

I've contemplated meetup.org but I've heard mixed things about the sort of crowd that shows up to those things and there aren't many things listed for my city. As far as I can tell all most people my age just go out to the (pretty robust) bar scene with their friends on the weekends. Which I've been doing with the few friends I have and have chatted up some folks but ... I don't know, bar scene doesn't do it for me like it used to.

The city is pretty regular sized, about 300k-400k people I believe. Not huge but definitely substantial.

1. Don't meet a girl to get over another one.
2. Age is irrelevant. Anyone can be a student, don't ignore someone because they're younger.
3. Join some clubs or sports teams to meet people.

1. The times I've spent in the past couple of years dating other girls are when I feel I've made the most progress being at peace with my separation from my old girlfriend. I'm not so caught up on her that I accidentally talk about her or can't be intimate or anything. So I don't see it as an impediment, really.
2. I'm not ignoring them, I've met plenty of younger girls. I'm just not really interested because the more I get to know them the more we have trouble relating in some ways because of the big difference in life experience.
3. See above.

Thanks for the tips, guys. I appreciate your help!

 

[j0hnnix]

Need some input. So I'm on my fourth date las night and we had an amazing night she was all over me... I mean all over me. The night ended at around 1am we went to our separate ways. Ok that's fine so tonight I ask her if she wants to come to my place tomorrow and have dinner and watch a movie she jokes around and says ok. Few messages later she says "Let's not stay up to late" is this a Hint to something? Today she told me "she likes me a lot" and that I make her veryy happy.

What do you guys think?

 

[megamerican]

Need some input. So I'm on my fourth date las night and we had an amazing night she was all over me... I mean all over me. The night ended at around 1am we went to our separate ways. Ok that's fine so tonight I ask her if she wants to come to my place tomorrow and have dinner and watch a movie she jokes around and says ok. Few messages later she says "Let's not stay up to late" is this a Hint to something? Today she told me "she likes me a lot" and that I make her veryy happy.

What do you guys think?

Yeah it's a real mystery.

Spoiler

she wants the d

Had my first clusterfuck date tonight. Beautiful girl messaged me and she set up a first date at a roller skating place which was pretty weird but whatever she was hot. So she gets there over half an hour late and she's with her weird friend WTF!?! This friend doesn't say but two words to me after I introduce myself. And she is constantly texting this same friend throughout the date even though they are next to each other.

I haven't skated in well over a decade and I must look like the biggest dipshit on the rink. I think she still kinda likes me anyways as she's touching me, grabbing my arm and stuff. It's impossible to talk and I'm sucking air and trying to scream over the stupid 90s music. Just horrific. Then to top it off at the end I can't get one of my skates off because the sizes were too small.

 

[TheVampire]

Can someone tell me If I did ok?


Date #1 was a coffee date with this girl.
No kiss or any kind of physical contact (I think its too soon for a first date) She seemed to like me and agreed to a second date.

Date #2 was a bowling fun date then dinner.
I was planning to kiss her this time but I didn't.
HOWEVER I did establish holding hands so that's at least something right?

We finished up and I walked her back to her car in the carpark and we stood around chatting about how what are you upto the next few days, ill call you etc...It kinda felt like I was stalling and then we parted ways.

I wanted to kiss her but It just seemed wrong. Like not right place to do it. Not that romantic in a carpark plus other people walking by.




I was going to send her a text message soon on my phone saying I enjoyed myself and that I had wanted to give her a good night kiss but didnt because the carpark didnt seem like the right place but if that had of been ok with her ill gladly get in my timemachine and do it over. Should I send that?

 

[ClosingADoor]

I was going to send her a text message soon on my phone saying I enjoyed myself and that I had wanted to give her a good night kiss but didnt because the carpark didnt seem like the right place but if that had of been ok with her ill gladly get in my timemachine and do it over. Should I send that?

I would not mention it. Set up a third date and do it then. Don't over-think it too much (it's difficult... I know). But do sent something that you enjoyed it and would like to see her again of course.

 

[woodchuck]

Can someone tell me If I did ok?


Date #1 was a coffee date with this girl.
No kiss or any kind of physical contact (I think its too soon for a first date) She seemed to like me and agreed to a second date.

Date #2 was a bowling fun date then dinner.
I was planning to kiss her this time but I didn't.
HOWEVER I did establish holding hands so that's at least something right



I was going to send her a text message soon on my phone saying I enjoyed myself and that I had wanted to give her a good night kiss but didnt because the carpark didnt seem like the right place but if that had of been ok with her ill gladly get in my timemachine and do it over. Should I send that?

Do not do this. I know exactly how you're feeling right now. Just ask her out again and kiss her then. Whether you kissed her or not on the second date isn't going to decide whether she wants to go out with you again.

 

[electricshake]

Do not do this. I know exactly how you're feeling right now. Just ask her out again and kiss her then. Whether you kissed her or not on the second date isn't going to decide whether she wants to go out with you again.

Yup, as long as you're showing interest in her you'll be fine. Been seeing a guy for about a month and we didn't kiss properly till our 3rd date. Sex on 5th so moved pretty fast after that haha.

 

[y2dvd]

Can someone tell me If I did ok?


Date #1 was a coffee date with this girl.
No kiss or any kind of physical contact (I think its too soon for a first date) She seemed to like me and agreed to a second date.

Date #2 was a bowling fun date then dinner.
I was planning to kiss her this time but I didn't.
HOWEVER I did establish holding hands so that's at least something right?

We finished up and I walked her back to her car in the carpark and we stood around chatting about how what are you upto the next few days, ill call you etc...It kinda felt like I was stalling and then we parted ways.

I wanted to kiss her but It just seemed wrong. Like not right place to do it. Not that romantic in a carpark plus other people walking by.




I was going to send her a text message soon on my phone saying I enjoyed myself and that I had wanted to give her a good night kiss but didnt because the carpark didnt seem like the right place but if that had of been ok with her ill gladly get in my timemachine and do it over. Should I send that?

I was talking to my girl last night about our first date. She admitted to going on a first date with another guy a night or two before me, which is totally fine; I expect people to date around. She mentioned that the date was going along just fine, but she was taken aback when he went in for a kiss in front of people while waiting on valet. Publicly going for the kiss on the first date killed it for her. Not saying it's always like this though.

She said with our first date, I was assertive all night, grabbing her hand to hold and what not. We sat in her car a bit near the end of the date since it was getting cold outside and I went for the kiss. She said since it was more private, she was ok. She didn't tell me that the night of btw lol.

I think you did the right thing not forcing a kiss if it doesn't feel right. Find that right setting! Personally, if I'm still interested in the girl in any ways, I still go for the kiss by the end of night. And don't send that text. Mentioned the good times and you'd like to do it again and that should be fine.

 

[Symphonia]

Been a while since I've done the whole two-hour phonecall to a girl thing. Feels good. Had 'the talk' and, yeah, we reached a mutual agreement that we both want the same thing, and that we are now, for all intents and purpose, together. Been a long time since I've said that. Feels weird but also sogood.gif.

 

[davepoobond]

well i have a date scheduled at 7 pm today.

i sent a text at 530 pm to confirm that she is still good. its currently 5:50 pm.


how long of a no response before 7 pm should i consider that she is going to skip out?



edit: welp. she answered me saying she was sick all day etc etc. don't know if its even worth replying to her now.

 

[stn]

edit: welp. she answered me saying she was sick all day etc etc. don't know if its even worth replying to her now.

I wouldn't message her at all. If she's really sick (she's not) she would have known earlier in the day. If you're going to bail on someone you should at least have some decency to give the person actual notice.

@Cyanide Strike
Yeah, you're definitely right. My short profile might not be for everyone, it just happens to work for me. Of course, you do whatever works for you.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

well i have a date scheduled at 7 pm today.

i sent a text at 530 pm to confirm that she is still good. its currently 5:50 pm.


how long of a no response before 7 pm should i consider that she is going to skip out?



edit: welp. she answered me saying she was sick all day etc etc. don't know if its even worth replying to her now.

Dunno. Depends on what kind of rapport you've had with her before. Is she apologetic? Is she proposing new times to meet? Is this the first date (I'm assuming it is)?

For instance, I was supposed to meet someone for coffee today, and as I was 5 minutes away from the coffee shop, she texted me to say that she'd just been called into a meeting. We were supposed to go out the night before for drinks, except she was out to dinner with her aunt and the food arrived over an hour late -- so we rescheduled for today. She basically promised that she wasn't a flake, and I totally believe it, and we nailed down a time when we weren't subject to interruptions.

So, it's an "it depends." I'd reply to her, say that you hope she feels better, and leave it at that. The ball's really in her court now to offer another time/place.

 

[davepoobond]

I wouldn't message her at all. If she's really sick (she's not) she would have known earlier in the day. If you're going to bail on someone you should at least have some decency to give the person actual notice.

for sure, that's exactly what my thinking is.

i did end up sending a "hope you feel better soon" thing, but i left it at that. if for some reason she texts me again then i might be open to meeting, i guess, but like you said at least have some decency in giving me some notice.

Dunno. Depends on what kind of rapport you've had with her before. Is she apologetic? Is she proposing new times to meet? Is this the first date (I'm assuming it is)?

First date. she is apologetic, but she is not proposing new times to meet. thats the sign its actually just a blow off.

 

[woodchuck]

Yep it's a blowoff. It would have been nice for you to have more than a one hours notice. That's annoying

 

[davepoobond]

Yep it's a blowoff. It would have been nice for you to have more than a one hours notice. That's annoying

i sort of had a feeling it wasnt going to go through anyway. i think the funniest excuse so far out of all the dates i've tried to set up that have failed has been someone telling me they are going to vegas for their friend's unplanned surprise wedding for 7 days starting the day that we were to meet.

and i just had another match on CMB that stopped replying to me.

oh well.

 

[Saiyan-Rox]

Still no luck at any replies for my end not sure what else to try :S

 

[y2dvd]

Still no luck at any replies for my end not sure what else to try :S

The bars!

 

[Saiyan-Rox]

The bars!

If only I had people to go with xD my social circle has already settled down got their 9-5's and their girls so never really see people these days. also incredibly shy could never aprocah anyone xD

 

[MonorailCat]

Thought about getting TinderPlus for the Undo-Button. expected 50cent or a dollar or something like that.
Checked the price.
~20$. Per Month. what in the fuck?

Yeah, good luck with that tinder. If that is the price model they are going for in the future I will drop the app instantly.

 

[Smiley90]

Thought about getting TinderPlus for the Undo-Button. expected 50cent or a dollar or something like that.
Checked the price.
~20$. Per Month. what in the fuck?

Yeah, good luck with that tinder. If that is the price model they are going for in the future I will drop the app instantly.

as a guy, why would you care? I just swipe everyone right anyway and select afterwards among matches.

 

[ClosingADoor]

as a guy, why would you care? I just swipe everyone right anyway and select afterwards among matches.

They really should make this just the default for guys. Set everyone as matched. I don't know anyone who uses it different

 

[y2dvd]

If only I had people to go with xD my social circle has already settled down got their 9-5's and their girls so never really see people these days. also incredibly shy could never aprocah anyone xD

Liquid encouragement is what you need! You should look into a Meetup group if your circle isn't too outgoing anymore. You'll usually find people in the same situation as yourself to relate to. There were a few cute girls I talked to the last time I went to a meetup group, though picking up girls isn't really the purpose of it lol.

 

[Protag]

Striking out left and right. Persistence is key.