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[Buckethead]

Take a deep breath, friend Buckethead, and as the Godgers says: R-E-L-A-X. Just keep it cool, let the conversation flow naturally, but if you can have a few things to discuss thought of in advance, it'll help things out.

I'm good with the date-y/be charming/talkative stuff, I just don't know protocol beyond that point.

I grew up sheltered so this is new territory and have always been in relationships after I got outside of sheltersville.

 

[Piano]

Made a Tinder last night. Problem is I have very few good pictures of just me, especially from the last few years when my Facebook has mostly been deactivated.

Can anyone help me out in picking photos? I can send you a link to my Facebook profile.

Thanks all!

 

[dskillzhtown]

Well we ate and watched the movie but half way through she kinda passed out / fell asleep because she was tired.....

WTF? How am I supposed to be escalating and making her more comfortable with me when she falls asleep? When the movie ended I tried to wake her up and even suggested that I leave and let her sleep but she wouldn't wake up / respond so I just left. I mean wtf else was there to do????

God damn I had hoped to at least kiss her this second date and show my interest but that obviously didn't happen.

If she fell asleep with you while watching a movie, she is plenty comfortable with you already. So you couldn't wake her up? That part is pretty weird.

 

[woodchuck]

Have a Coffee meets bagel date tonight. I've bern getting more "connections" ever since I changed my religion from Hindu to "spiritual but not religious".

 

[Lulubop]

Things have been kinda slow on my end, mainly due to me not having a phone at the moment, but honestly it was getting pretty whack. It's been really hard for me to find the complete package in what I'm looking for and I'm starting to really want something more serious than hooking up with someone every other week. Not sure, maybe some real life shit? But I'm awful at approaching.

 

[GK86]

Made a Tinder last night. Problem is I have very few good pictures of just me, especially from the last few years when my Facebook has mostly been deactivated.

Can anyone help me out in picking photos? I can send you a link to my Facebook profile.

Thanks all!

Did anyone help you?

 

[Piano]

Did anyone help you?

Nope.

Also,

Ran into the girl I dated a few months back (and told to never call me again) in person tonight at a bar after seeing two of her friends on Tinder yesterday (swiped left obviously, can't mess with that situation).

Shit still burns. Blech.

 

[Jhoan]

Things have been kinda slow on my end, mainly due to me not having a phone at the moment, but honestly it was getting pretty whack. It's been really hard for me to find the complete package in what I'm looking for and I'm starting to really want something more serious than hooking up with someone every other week. Not sure, maybe some real life shit? But I'm awful at approaching.

There's several GAF members that make great wing men in meet ups. Can't say I'm one of them since I'm usually out to have fun and less about talking to girls but maybe we can privately arrange something one of these days. The area that you live in swimming with so many attractive women. I suppose you can look into going to OKCupid event as that's what GK86 and I did in the summer but we didn't really have any success since it was just the two of us. Still, we had fun. You can always look into attending a few meetup.com groups if anything.

My brother (a GAF lurker) thinks that you probably need to reassess yourself to see what it is that you're doing "wrong" so to speak and work on that stuff. It sounds like you were going for hook ups while still in a cool down phase from your last relationship to seek validation (not in a bad way). I do understand that meaningless hook ups get old after a while.

Nope.

Also,

Ran into the girl I dated a few months back (and told to never call me again) in person tonight at a bar after seeing two of her friends on Tinder yesterday (swiped left obviously, can't mess with that situation).

Shit still burns. Blech.

If you don't want to post your FB page, then I think you should take a screenshot of some of your profile pictures (or two) and wrap it in tags so lurkers don't see it and blur out your real name as well so detective GAF doesn't get any ideas. As for that girl, it's her loss so even if you experienced feelings of animosity when you saw her again, it is what it is. Hopefully it was a mutual hello exchange at the very least.

 

[davepoobond]

got a match on CMB over the holidays and didnt get past 2 messages with her before the chat room expired. left her my #, never got a text.

got another match yesterday. she doesn't ask me any questions, so after she told me what movies she likes i just said "oh cool" and left it at that.

 

[NoctisVsStar]

Happy New Years guys/girls wish everyone nothing love,health,growth and a great year! Oh it's me Noctis without the Noctis avatar for the month ;P so I guess we'll be talking soon. So stay safe guys/girls

 

[Lulubop]

There's several GAF members that make great wing men in meet ups. Can't say I'm one of them since I'm usually out to have fun and less about talking to girls but maybe we can privately arrange something one of these days. The area that you live in swimming with so many attractive women. I suppose you can look into going to OKCupid event as that's what GK86 and I did in the summer but we didn't really have any success since it was just the two of us. Still, we had fun. You can always look into attending a few meetup.com groups if anything.

My brother (a GAF lurker) thinks that you probably need to reassess yourself to see what it is that you're doing "wrong" so to speak and work on that stuff. It sounds like you were going for hook ups while still in a cool down phase from your last relationship to seek validation (not in a bad way). I do understand that meaningless hook ups get old after a while.

Thanks for the advice. I grew up being shy, introverted and just generally lack confidence, in addition I was in a six year relationship until a bout a year and a half ago. Since then, and even before then I have changed tremendously. I got in much better shape in addition to other vanity changes, became more adventurous and outgoing, etc. At this point meeting someone online is nothing to me. No nerves and I feel confident going in. That said, there are 2 things that give me trouble approaching in real life. When you start talking to someone online, you already know there's a physical attraction to one another. I still have confidence issues in real life if I'm ensure weather the other person has a physical attraction to me. The other is talking online you already know a bit a bout the person you are meeting, it's difficult for me to come up with things to say on the fly especially someone I know nothing about. I will say the approach is the much bigger problem area.

All that said I'm having great luck on OKC all of sudden. I'm also kinda interested in starting up something again with a girl who I was kinda into Sept-Oct. I'll probably take her out a day this weekend.

 

[Jhoan]

Thanks for the advice. I grew up being shy, introverted and just generally lack confidence, in addition I was in a six year relationship until a bout a year and a half ago. Since then, and even before then I have changed tremendously. I got in much better shape in addition to other vanity changes, became more adventurous and outgoing, etc. At this point meeting someone online is nothing to me. No nerves and I feel confident going in. That said, there are 2 things that give me trouble approaching in real life. When you start talking to someone online, you already know there's a physical attraction to one another. I still have confidence issues in real life if I'm ensure weather the other person has a physical attraction to me. The other is talking online you already know a bit a bout the person you are meeting, it's difficult for me to come up with things to say on the fly especially someone I know nothing about. I will say the approach is the much bigger problem area.

All that said I'm having great luck on OKC all of sudden. I'm also kinda interested in starting up something again with a girl who I was kinda into Sept-Oct. I'll probably take her out a day this weekend.

Totally know that feel about growing up shy and introverted/reserved. It took some self-discovery and Google searches on how to talk to girls to awaken that it changed my brothers and I several years ago. I'm still introverted/quiet and embrace it but I've grown so much more that being sociable is easier for me. I still clam up in some social situations but it's not as bad as it used when I was much younger that I can easily hold a decent conversation these days.

You definitely need a wing man or two to help you out whether it comes in the form of a good female friend or a bunch of dudes who will be supportive since going to a bar alone can be tough speaking from personal experience. As for things to say, it can be anything random and it'll fly as long you're confident and have good energy. I think the Simple Pick Up guys have some damn videos on advice and videos where they say the most ridiculous things.That's why it's usually best to have online dating as a supplement in addition to meeting people in your daily life. I'm actually gonna go a Social Anxiety meet up group event tonight (Friday) on a whim to start the year off strong.

As for the reason why things might be suddenly looking up for you on OKC, three words: New Year's Resolutions. There's probably a huge influx of new people signing up for online dating websites in an effort to meet new people for the new year so consider yourself lucky as women are probably going to come in waves.

I've been thinking about dusting off my own OKC/Tinder accounts myself and updating my profile/pictures but more to meet new friends than to look for a serious relationship if the first date bombs with no chemistry. I find that going out with too many girls is way too distracting and kills the wallet a bit since I don't work at the moment so I'm going weigh my options.

 

[Lulubop]

When on a date with this really hot Kenyan/Indian/white Jewish girl, I thought it went well and she seemed kinda hinting at hanging again. So after I'm like I'd really like to see you again and she said maybe. Whomp, rip.


Also, This thread is pretty dead.

 

[stn]

When on a date with this really hot Kenyan/Indian/white Jewish girl, I thought it went well and she seemed kinda hinting at hanging again. So after I'm like I'd really like to see you again and she said maybe. Whomp, rip.


Also, This thread is pretty dead.

Eh, at least you know that a second date probably won't happen. Better than her faking enthusiasm. And yeah, I think this thread should be closed and everything just moved to the dating age OT. People end up discussing online dating there anyway.

 

[Lulubop]

She told me how forward she is, and how she told some dude she wasn't interested when he asked to see her again and how salty he got. She told me to keep in contact, eh. I'll attribute the L to having a shit job.

 

[Jhoan]

Eh, it's dead because half of the people in OT don't know that this thread exists unless it's pointed out as well as OT getting more views in general since people accidentally stumble into the OT-Community section. But I agree that both topics go hand in hand any way that it makes more sense to discuss it in the Dating-Age thread.

Will give it a few more days before deciding to PM a mod for the lock/merge the threads. And for better or worse, I'm back in the Tinder game. Nothing but mirror shots left and right lol.

Also, got this in the email from OKC about New Year's and thought it was funny:

 

[Malvingt2]

OKcupid is not kind to me.... No luck whatsoever. The women ignored my messages. I just keep going. I don't send a message twice to the same girl.

 

[Red_taiyaki]

OKcupid is not kind to me.... No luck whatsoever. The women ignored my messages. I just keep going. I don't send a message twice to the same girl.

Hang in there! Sometimes you just need to ride out the wave, it happens to all of us.

In all seriousness, sending message twice has worked a total of ONE time for me to get a response. Not sure if it's worth it haha.

 

[Lulubop]

So I was supposed to meet a girl from OKC on Saturday, I messaged her that day and never got a replied. Today I look and she sent a few message, even one asking if I wanted to hang out yesterday. Any idea what's up with OKC? Sucks, and yea I don't have a phone atm.

 

[Jhoan]

I'm slowly relearning the golden unwritten rule of Tinder: if a decently attractive girl messages you, check your messages and respond as soon as you can. Gotta move fast on these girls. I've been learning the hard way that procrastinating on unseen messages leads to getting unmatched before I eventually check it. It's happened to me twice already since I got back on it.=/

 

[GringoSuave89]

I have an OKC profile that started as a joke/way to take quizzes (friends told me they were fun, but I could give a rat's ass about what my sign says about my career). Still, it's been so so in terms of meeting people, but it doesn't seem like a lot of girls in ABQ are using it.

How's Tinder? Seems to be the big thing these days.

 

[Jhoan]

I have an OKC profile that started as a joke/way to take quizzes (friends told me they were fun, but I could give a rat's ass about what my sign says about my career). Still, it's been so so in terms of meeting people, but it doesn't seem like a lot of girls in ABQ are using it.

How's Tinder? Seems to be the big thing these days.

Online dating in general is hit or miss unless you're fairly attractive that girls message you on a regular basis. Tinder is basically either swipe left or swipe right as it's based purely on looks/pictures alone (OKC is as well but you're profile also more prominent). It's more to the point than OKC is despite both being owned by the same parent company. I managed to land several dates last year but none of them lead past a first date and I had a one time hook up in the summer.

If both parties swiped right, then you can message each other. It has its share of bots and all sorts of odd people on it as well as attention whores. If you're not too picky, then swiping right to every profile, then weeding out the girls you don't like afterwards is usually the way most people roll.

If you plan on trying it out, then my advice would be to make a private FB album that only you can see that you use and use those pictures for Tinder. Also keep in mind that not all matches will lead to a date. Otherwise, have fun with it. Some girls are looking for hook ups whereas others are looking for something slower paced/serious.

And I agree with Red_taiyaki about sending a message a second time. People get busy or procrastinate that they tend to forget to check their messages so I would definitely recommend trying again.

 

[Rich!]

had a successful date with an online hookup last night

well, I say a date. it was actually more like an entire night of incredible sex.

 

[ClosingADoor]

I have an OKC profile that started as a joke/way to take quizzes (friends told me they were fun, but I could give a rat's ass about what my sign says about my career). Still, it's been so so in terms of meeting people, but it doesn't seem like a lot of girls in ABQ are using it.

How's Tinder? Seems to be the big thing these days.

I got more success with OKC and like the system better then Tinder. But it really varies per person and location. Try what feels best for you.

 

[Diablo Rosso]

I don't think I can think of anything more frustrating than when you and someone say you like each other, you message them then get no reply. I don't get it at all.

 

[Salamando]

I don't think I can think of anything more frustrating than when you and someone say you like each other, you message them then get no reply. I don't get it at all.

Worst I've experienced - girl likes you. Girl says she loves tall men who're intelligent, she loves Portal, and she mentions how "as long as you say something more than 'hi' or 'show me your boobs', I'll reply". I'm tall, intelligent, love portal, and sent a decent message. Nothing.

 

[davepoobond]

Worst I've experienced - girl likes you. Girl says she loves tall men who're intelligent, she loves Portal, and she mentions how "as long as you say something more than 'hi' or 'show me your boobs', I'll reply". I'm tall, intelligent, love portal, and sent a decent message. Nothing.

they're trying to weed out people, really. she will reply to a "hi" if its someone she likes.

 

[Diablo Rosso]

I'm now talking to a girl who loves Metal Gear. Her username is Otacon's codec frequency and when I said it she thought I googled it lol.

 

[megamerican]

Getting kind of disillusioned with this. This is the second time within the past year I've found someone cool who I spent a few months with, only to watch to it kinda flicker out for no clear reason. Like it almost would have been more cathartic to have gone through some type of breakup.

 

[SRG01]

I'm now talking to a girl who loves Metal Gear. Her username is Otacon's codec frequency and when I said it she thought I googled it lol.

"Can love bloom on a battlefield?"

edit: Also, I've been away from the thread for a long while now... because I think I might have a GF now? I'm not exactly sure?

 

[Jhoan]

Getting kind of disillusioned with this. This is the second time within the past year I've found someone cool who I spent a few months with, only to watch to it kinda flicker out for no clear reason. Like it almost would have been more cathartic to have gone through some type of breakup.

Never been in a relationship as nothing has lasted past 2 dates but the best advice I can give you is to keep your head held high and keep moving on. Unfortunately, getting closure just doesn't exist sometimes. It's tough but you'll get through it.

"Can love bloom on a battlefield?"

edit: Also, I've been away from the thread for a long while now... because I think I might have a GF now? I'm not exactly sure?

Nice, I better get the congratsonthesex.jpg ready. Is the world about to lose another wizard? ;p

 

[Bleepey]

I'm slowly relearning the golden unwritten rule of Tinder: if a decently attractive girl messages you, check your messages and respond as soon as you can. Gotta move fast on these girls. I've been learning the hard way that procrastinating on unseen messages leads to getting unmatched before I eventually check it. It's happened to me twice already since I got back on it.=/

Sometimes that's just spam though. Sometimes you match with a hot girl, say hey and then they unmatch. Oh well.

 

[SRG01]

Nice, I better get the congratsonthesex.jpg ready. Is the world about to lose another wizard? ;p

Technically, I'm a paladin or something lol... not full wizard.

 

[Dobsie]

Got this message on Tinder:
"I knew a guy called Dobsie"
"I hated him fro 2 years"
"Now we're friends"
"Sex?"

Spoiler

Help me, Virgin GAF checking in

 

[Valus]

Got this message on Tinder:
"I knew a guy called Dobsie"
"I hated him fro 2 years"
"Now we're friends"
"Sex?"

Spoiler

Help me, Virgin GAF checking in

"Yes. Tonight?"

 

[paparazzo]

Got this message on Tinder:
"I knew a guy called Dobsie"
"I hated him fro 2 years"
"Now we're friends"
"Sex?"

Spoiler

Help me, Virgin GAF checking in

That is a bot.

 

[Dobsie]

That is a bot.

think you're right, unmatched me.

 

[Jhoan]

Sometimes that's just spam though. Sometimes you match with a hot girl, say hey and then they unmatch. Oh well.

Yup, c'est la vie. I find that so odd though. I've also been finding that actual girls respond every few days because they're busy. Haven't had a constant back and forth going since I got back on it.

Oddly enough, it feels good being back on OKC since the Tinder girls haven't been biting much if at all. While OKC has its share bots, it feels nice knowing that most of the profiles are humans.

Technically, I'm a paladin or something lol... not full wizard.

Just like me...except that I'm under 30. Getting oral sure was nice. I'm sure you're gonna reach knight status in no time. When that day comes, pop open the champagne bottles.

After swiping right to hundreds of profiles on OKC's quickmatch system and messaging a few girls, my profile view skyrocketed from 69 to about 120. Sadly I only got two likes back but I'm gonna go out on a limb and message the ones that viewed my profile even if they don't reply because fuck it. I just want to keep my conversational skills with girls sharp especially now that I'm out of college for good (unless I decide to go to grad school).

Although I'm not looking to date super actively because I'm on a tight budget for the month that I'm trying to save money. If anyone wants to take a look at my revamped profile and offer any advice on my pictures, here's my profile link; I've been tweaking it on and off: www.okcupid.com/profile/heightsartist. Thanks.

 

[megamerican]

Although I'm not looking to date super actively because I'm on a tight budget for the month that I'm trying to save money. If anyone wants to take a look at my revamped profile and offer any advice on my pictures, here's my profile link; I've been tweaking it on and off: www.okcupid.com/profile/heightsartist. Thanks.

Pics looks good to me man. I could see using the outside pic as your main possibly.

 

[Piano]

Been chatting with a girl on Tinder since yesterday afternoon. I was going to say "I'd love to go out to drinks some time" and give her my number but my friend (girl) says I should ask for her number instead.

Thoughts? Can man give woman number or does man have to ask woman for number?

 

[ClosingADoor]

Been chatting with a girl on Tinder since yesterday afternoon. I was going to say "I'd love to go out to drinks some time" and give her my number but my friend (girl) says I should ask for her number instead.

Thoughts? Can man give woman number or does man have to ask woman for number?

I'd ask for the number, so you can text her the day after and are not waiting for her text.

 

[goodfella]

Really considering posting my Tinder profile pics up for criticism, but I like my anonymity haha :/

I've had a three dates so far... really aren't getting as many matches as I would hope for though. and it's so hard to be critical of your own photos/know when you look good!

Anyway, in terms of advice I'd say i've had most luck trying to be witty and when it works and she is amused go straight in for the number. Then text a bit and ask on a date by the next day. All about speed.

I just went for it and gave her my number and she texted immediately. Went back and forth a couple of times, texted her a few minutes ago asking if she wants to get drinks tonight.

Now we wait.

Just like that haha

 

[Piano]

I'd ask for the number, so you can text her the day after and are not waiting for her text.

I just went for it and gave her my number and she texted immediately. Went back and forth a couple of times, texted her a few minutes ago asking if she wants to get drinks tonight.

Now we wait.

 

[ThatGuy]

Long time lurker but finally I brought myself to post here. I finally signed up to a dating site but feel a bit out of the loop when it comes down to dating. What do you write in a first message to be interesting/ don't go under in the heap of messages but also not write something that sounds like a job application. Thanks for any hints!

 

[Red_taiyaki]

Long time lurker but finally I brought myself to post here. I finally signed up to a dating site but feel a bit out of the loop when it comes down to dating. What do you write in a first message to be interesting/ don't go under in the heap of messages but also not write something that sounds like a job application. Thanks for any hints!

My simple formula: don't spend anymore than five minutes looking at their profile, find ONE thing that jumps out at you/share a commonality with and then ask her or him about it.

All in all, you're looking at three to four sentences max. Ideally what you want to do is have your profile sell you to them and not the message.

 

[DutchNeon]

Edit: Wrong topic

 

[gugi40]

Jeez, I came back in here to hopefully see good news, but it seems like all of us are having a bit of trouble...do you all think maybe it's the month/weather that is making the gems hide?

Lately all I have been getting on POF are guys telling me they would bend me over.......and nothing of actual substance. Has anyone had any real luck on Match? I want a serious relationship and POF has just become another in depth Tinder.

Maybe i need a change in my profile to spice it up a bit it seems really bland and generic so far, if anyone has any recommendations.

 

[Jhoan]

Pics looks good to me man. I could see using the outside pic as your main possibly.

Dutifully noted, thanks. Which one specifically? The one where I'm holding a beer or or sitting? The former was usually a hit on Tinder before I took a break from it and returned since I guess girls love the quasi-Average Joe/beer ad look.

Long time lurker but finally I brought myself to post here. I finally signed up to a dating site but feel a bit out of the loop when it comes down to dating. What do you write in a first message to be interesting/ don't go under in the heap of messages but also not write something that sounds like a job application. Thanks for any hints!

I don't think too much about crafting unique messages that take more than 5 minutes like Red_taiyaki said. It would take ages to comb through profiles as there's only so much time in a day. Personally, I just send one of the following that has gotten me replies (thanks to my brother for the advice) and dates:

-"Hey how's it going?"
-If it's the weekend: "Hey, how's weekend/Saturday/Sunday going so far?"
-Weekday: "How was your day?"/ "How's your day going?"

It's a neutral message but at the same time, it's friendly and non-threatening. In fact, OKC did a survey and found that "How's it going?" is the most popular message that gets replies back without being very specific. Sometimes, I put some effort in and write a unique message but otherwise, I stick to the above and copy/paste it to everyone.

Jeez, I came back in here to hopefully see good news, but it seems like all of us are having a bit of trouble...do you all think maybe it's the month/weather that is making the gems hide?

Lately all I have been getting on POF are guys telling me they would bend me over.......and nothing of actual substance. Has anyone had any real luck on Match? I want a serious relationship and POF has just become another in depth Tinder.

Maybe i need a change in my profile to spice it up a bit it seems really bland and generic so far, if anyone has any recommendations.

Hahaha, I do think the weather is definitely a factor as the weather in here in NYC has been hovering around the 15-30 degree Fahrenheit mark and numbing wind chills only make it feel ten times worse. We also got a foot of snow this past week but it's nothing. There's no reason to be outside as a result; it's definitely hibernating season. Although, I'm closing in on a date with a girl that I just messaged today on OKC as well messaging a few others. She liked me back 2 months ago so I looked her up today and the rest is history.

LMAO at the bending over messages! I'm shaking my head and chuckling at the same time. Guys really need to do better than that with the sexual innuendo messages. As for people having luck on Match, I'll refer you to DoktorEvil's post from the last page on his experience.

IIRC, I thought your profile was fine from the last time you posted it but if you tweaked it and want to post it again, then by all means do. You seem like a fun girl to go out with.

 

[GK86]

Even if people were willing to go out in this crazy cold, most are probably still broke from the holidays to go out.

 

[kai3345]

so i met a girl on tinder, she seems really cool. she wants to grab coffee but says she can't go this weekend and we'll have to wait to the next. I'm not super into the "dating someone through text" thing and would rather get to know her in person, but I also dont want to go silent for a week and have her lose interest or forget.

any tips on maintaining her interest over the next week?