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[Chariot]

Yep, really can't be stressed enough that photos are by far the most important part of an online dating profile. I would be lying if I said I read girls profiles and expect most women don't either. I mean my photos aren't "bad" but I know they could be a lot better.

Yeah, figured. An application without pictures at first and only interests etc would be maybe better. But well, people are looking for attractive people, yes.

So, I actually managed to talk to somebody. But she gives me answers that end nowhere. I guess I can put that away in the "not interested" folder, right?

 

[ClosingADoor]

Yeah, figured. An application without pictures at first and only interests etc would be maybe better. But well, people are looking for attractive people, yes.

So, I actually managed to talk to somebody. But she gives me answers that end nowhere. I guess I can put that away in the "not interested" folder, right?

When that happens I just ask their number and if they want to go out sometime. Gives you the answer right away so you don't waste your time.

 

[Valus]

So I've been on tinder for a while now, racked up quite a few matches but haven't really spoke to anyone due to confidence issues/ being shy. Would it be weird for me to start chatting to people months after I've matched with them?

Nah. They could've unmatched you at any time.

 

[GK86]

Fired up Tinder. Jebus that app has gone to shit.

 

[BIGWORM]

Fired up Tinder. Jebus that app has gone to shit.

Spamalicious?

 

[AlmostMilk]

Did she suggest a new time to meet? If not, she's definitely not interested.

She said that she wasn't comfortable with the whole online dating thing. That she had been stressing out all day. I checked and she deleted her account.

 

[davepoobond]

She said that she wasn't comfortable with the whole online dating thing. That she had been stressing out all day. I checked and she deleted her account.

more than likely is an excuse. i have had 3 people so far say its their first time or whatever as a reason to not meet. instead of saying outright they dont like you, thats what she did

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

Gotta share this email that appeared on my Match profile:

"Hey, enjoyed your profile and smile. If you ever starting dating Black girls... Holla"

Spoiler

I'm black.

 

[Jhoan]

Haha sorry for the long delay but definitely the one with the beer. Good shot that looks very natural and not staged.

No problem, I figured as much. I tweaked my profile here and there since then. Gotten more messages where as a bunch that I'd sent out either fizzled out or I got a view but no reply. Oh well.

So I've been on tinder for a while now, racked up quite a few matches but haven't really spoke to anyone due to confidence issues/ being shy. Would it be weird for me to start chatting to people months after I've matched with them?

Not all but be advised that some girls might unmatch if you don't message them. I think the only way you're going to get rid of the shyness in my humble opinion is by not waiting a set amount of time before deciding to message them. Practice makes perfect so even the ones that don't lead to any dates still add up to confidence.

Fired up Tinder. Jebus that app has gone to shit.

Hahaha, you couldn't resist the allure of it to return eh? And yeah, I totally agree; the bots have gotten smarter that it's proliferated with them but they're still easy to sniff out. It's so hard to get matched up with real humans and have a decent back and forth going lately. Even though you deleted it from having a lack of success, OKC has been yielding some decent conversations thanks to the magic of Quick Match; it's so much easier to message a girl if of you like each other back.

My meet up the other day went pretty decent as it was relaxing. I didn't spend a single cent. She ended up looking a bit bigger than in her pictures even though she said she's working out. It didn't bother me too much but it was an interesting observation nonetheless. We ended up having having a lot in common even though I kinda got a friend vibe from her as cool as she was.

I hit her up that same night saying it was fun and we proceeded to have a conversation before I stopped replying since I was getting bored. This was about two days ago. I'm kinda torn between telling her we should be friends or going out with her a second time to see if I warm up to her as we didn't touch at all other than to hug initially and after leaving. She did hint at me that she would be busy with work next month so if nothing else, then it could be just a short fling. I dunno in all honesty. I'll hit her up later today to see what's new with her while I work on messaging other girls.

 

[FelixOrion]

So, I've reopened my OKC account and tried revamping. Fat trimmed, tried to weed out the awkwardness, better pictures and made at least some attempt at humor. Quote for link, I guess.



Advice? Still feel like I have no idea what I'm doing.

 

[megamerican]

So, I've reopened my OKC account and tried revamping. Fat trimmed, tried to weed out the awkwardness, better pictures and made at least some attempt at humor. Quote for link, I guess.



Advice? Still feel like I have no idea what I'm doing.

I would axe the bit about never being in a relationship. Be honest about it if it comes up but I wouldn't advertise it.

I think you may find more success with the dog pic or the frat pic as your main.

Otherwise looks pretty good.

 

[FelixOrion]

I would axe the bit about never being in a relationship. Be honest about it if it comes up but I wouldn't advertise it.

I think you may find more success with the dog pic or the frat pic as your main.

Otherwise looks pretty good.

Yeah, sound fine, just don't know what I'd fill it with.

I guess, maybe. I'm just not totally happy with the smile in the dog one, and I'm weary to use the one with my fraternity brothers as a profile pic to avoid people going "ewww frat boy" before even bothering to reading my profile.

 

[Salamando]

Yeah, sound fine, just don't know what I'd fill it with.

I guess, maybe. I'm just not totally happy with the smile in the dog one, and I'm weary to use the one with my fraternity brothers as a profile pic to avoid people going "ewww frat boy" before even bothering to reading my profile.

I'm seconding the suggestion of going with the dog pic. Your current lead pic is too sterile. Too business. Dogs instantly say "fun" and "i like outside".

Do you have any cute-yet-embarassing things you can mention from your childhood? Or something pop-culture related that you never watched/listened to, that you can be pretend-ashamed about? Maybe "Even though I love movies, I've never watched 'the Breakfast Club'". Pick the right one, girl sees it as a call to action. I dunno, could work.

 

[y2dvd]

Unfortunately, I am not feeling my gf anymore. Oh well, at least it lasted a few months. I got this cute chick that messaged me on PoF this morning though saying she's a foodie like me. She had "Hot Nerd" tagged on herself and I replied that I'm a hot nerd too and that we're a match lol. So we're trying to plan something up.

 

[stn]

Dude, at least end it with your girlfriend first. Don't be that guy.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

The fact you still had POF enabled while seeing someone exclusively (?) tells you all you need to know about that relationship.

 

[davepoobond]

Dude, at least end it with your girlfriend first. Don't be that guy.

He treats it like a job. Don't quit one until you get another.

 

[Jhoan]

I'm seconding the suggestion of going with the dog pic. Your current lead pic is too sterile. Too business. Dogs instantly say "fun" and "i like outside".

Do you have any cute-yet-embarassing things you can mention from your childhood? Or something pop-culture related that you never watched/listened to, that you can be pretend-ashamed about? Maybe "Even though I love movies, I've never watched 'the Breakfast Club'". Pick the right one, girl sees it as a call to action. I dunno, could work.

I third the suggestion of going with the dog picture as it looks you're having much more fun in that picture and because girls fall for dudes with animal pictures. For the most part, almost all your pictures are hammering the point that you're all about science save for the picture of you with your frat bros. If you have other pictures that are not about that, then I would totally suggest throwing them in to break up the science stuff. You look like a red headed version of Dan Ryckert given that both of you are from Kansas.

I also agree with getting rid of the fact that you've never been in a relationship since it's awkward and TMI. I've never been in a relationship myself but you don't see me listing it let alone telling girls that. You don't need to indicate it.

As for my other critiques, I think as a whole, your profile is kinda plain so do flesh it out more with less science stuff (I know it's your profession) and about other things that you're passionate about. Since you mention that you're good at poetry, make your whole profile rhyme by writing each section as such. And most importantly, don't give up on at all. Online dating is lots of persistence like with other things in life.

Dude, at least end it with your girlfriend first. Don't be that guy.

The fact you still had POF enabled while seeing someone exclusively (?) tells you all you need to know about that relationship.

I third this as well. Cut her loose ASAP before proceeding any further with this other girl. It sounds like it's been a sinking ship for a while and you finally found an excuse to get out of it.

 

[FelixOrion]

I'm seconding the suggestion of going with the dog pic. Your current lead pic is too sterile. Too business. Dogs instantly say "fun" and "i like outside".

Do you have any cute-yet-embarassing things you can mention from your childhood? Or something pop-culture related that you never watched/listened to, that you can be pretend-ashamed about? Maybe "Even though I love movies, I've never watched 'the Breakfast Club'". Pick the right one, girl sees it as a call to action. I dunno, could work.

Fair enough. I really don't have one really, will have to think.

I third the suggestion of going with the dog picture as it looks you're having much more fun in that picture and because girls fall for dudes with animal pictures. For the most part, almost all your pictures are hammering the point that you're all about science save for the picture of you with your frat bros. If you have other pictures that are not about that, then I would totally suggest throwing them in to break up the science stuff. You look like a red headed version of Dan Ryckert given that both of you are from Kansas.

I also agree with getting rid of the fact that you've never been in a relationship since it's awkward and TMI. I've never been in a relationship myself but you don't see me listing it let alone telling girls that. You don't need to indicate it.

As for my other critiques, I think as a whole, your profile is kinda plain so do flesh it out more with less science stuff (I know it's your profession) and about other things that you're passionate about. Since you mention that you're good at poetry, make your whole profile rhyme by writing each section as such. And most importantly, don't give up on at all. Online dating is lots of persistence like with other things in life.

I just don't have very many good pics outside of these; I don't really tend to get my picture taken.

Also, I'm not redheaded nor am I from Kansas, lol. I have no idea where you got those ideas from.

Again, fair enough, just not sure what to replace it with. I thought it could be a cute little thing to admit, but I guess not.

I was trying to keep stuff to a minimum with this go and not get crazy detailed. Trying to put my profile into rhyme just seems off to me.

 

[Jhoan]

Fair enough. I really don't have one really, will have to think.



I just don't have very many good pics outside of these; I don't really tend to get my picture taken.

Also, I'm not redheaded nor am I from Kansas, lol. I have no idea where you got those ideas from.

Again, fair enough, just not sure what to replace it with. I thought it could be a cute little thing to admit, but I guess not.

I was trying to keep stuff to a minimum with this go and not get crazy detailed. Trying to put my profile into rhyme just seems off to me.

Sorry, I just saw Nebraska lol. My head is in the clouds right now because it's the weekend and there's a lot of things on my mind.

I'm just saying that as a whole, it sounds very simple. If that's what you want to go for, then I guess it's fine. You can still manage to throw in a few nuggets of details without getting too crazy.

 

[DeathoftheEndless]

The girl I had been talking to for a while just sent me a message saying she's not really ready to date right now and that she has to move for work soon (which she hadn't ever mentioned before).

Back to the drawing board

 

[y2dvd]

Yeah, I guess yall are right. Truth is, I always wanted to keep it an open relationship until I found someone I truly wanted to be with. After the "exclusivity" talk we've had, I can't have it both ways. I'll sit down with her to discuss our relationship.

 

[GK86]

Hahaha, you couldn't resist the allure of it to return eh? And yeah, I totally agree; the bots have gotten smarter that it's proliferated with them but they're still easy to sniff out. It's so hard to get matched up with real humans and have a decent back and forth going lately. Even though you deleted it from having a lack of success, OKC has been yielding some decent conversations thanks to the magic of Quick Match; it's so much easier to message a girl if of you like each other back.

Lol, na, I remembered I never deleted my account with them. I never upgraded the app on my old phone, so I played around with the upgrade. Way too many bots.

 

[Ursn]

After months of bots, changing pictures, changing my description from simple to funny then back to simple, and lots and lots of swiping to the right, I got another tinder date with a cute girl. Last one was probably over 3 months ago. Just gotta keep at it. Going to get lunch on sunday and probably go ice skating afterwards. Wish me luck.

Edit: Funny thing was she asked me to download whatsapp to make sure she wasn't getting catfished.

 

[Jhoan]

Lol, na, I remembered I never deleted my account with them. I never upgraded the app on my old phone, so I played around with the upgrade. Way too many bots.

Hahaha, gotta love those god damn bots! I think the beauty about OKC is that aren't as many bots as there are on Tinder and they're both owned by the same company.

After months of bots, changing pictures, changing my description from simple to funny then back to simple, and lots and lots of swiping to the right, I got another tinder date with a cute girl. Last one was probably over 3 months ago. Just gotta keep at it. Going to get lunch on sunday and probably go ice skating afterwards. Wish me luck.

Edit: Funny thing was she asked me to download whatsapp to make sure she wasn't getting catfished.

Awesome! Nice to see someone finally catch a break on Tinder. I totally know that feel on changing pics and description and definitely agree at keeping at it. Good luck and have fun! Looking forward to reading the afterthoughts on it.

As a quick resource that I would recommend as supplement to this thread, Reddit's OkCupid and Tinder subreddits are definitely worth checking out since both communities are pretty helpful, informative, and entertaining to read. Plus they have meet ups every now then (at least the OKC community does) where people take new profile pictures and discuss their online dating adventures.

 

[AlmostMilk]

Just got a message from someone in the Philippines. I am in California. These matches are great!

 

[davepoobond]

Just got a message from someone in the Philippines. I am in California. These matches are great!

make sure to get her documents in order for when you apply for her citizenship

 

[Kyzon]

I've been talking to a girl from Tinder for about a week. We were going to go out on a date today. That didn't happen because her mom got into a bad car accident in like Chicago. I don't wanna be all... well Idk the word for it, but I feel like this is an "I don't feel like talking to you" type thing. Mostly because young dumb me used to do stuff like that online in my catfish days.

 

[BIGWORM]

I've been talking to a girl from Tinder for about a week. We were going to go out on a date today. That didn't happen because her mom got into a bad car accident in like Chicago. I don't wanna be all... well Idk the word for it, but I feel like this is an "I don't feel like talking to you" type thing. Mostly because young dumb me used to do stuff like that online in my catfish days.

Move on.

Short story for you guys. So, I was talking to a girl for a little bit (couple of dates as well), came back to my place a couple times, whatever. Well, she started to become a little possessive, constantly calling me at least 6-7 times a day, most of the time while I was at work. Anyway, she invites herself over one day, and I wasn't in the mood, as I was extremely tired, and really, I just wanted to go to bed--I really just wanted to watch a movie or something to appease her.

Well, she starts making her move, and I'm pretty much denying her. She, a short time later, literally sits on top of me, pinning me against the wall. I finally give in and told her a "quickie." Guys, I didn't even finish. I was so uninterested I went soft, and didn't even finish.

I've sorta texted her and maybe talked to her a few times, but I never really told her how supremely uncomfortable she made me, in my own home, even. I eventually stopped talking to her and gave her the fade, probably the first time I've ever given someone a fade. Question is, do I feel bad?

 

[davepoobond]

Move on.

Short story for you guys. So, I was talking to a girl for a little bit (couple of dates as well), came back to my place a couple times, whatever. Well, she started to become a little possessive, constantly calling me at least 6-7 times a day, most of the time while I was at work. Anyway, she invites herself over one day, and I wasn't in the mood, as I was extremely tired, and really, I just wanted to go to bed--I really just wanted to watch a movie or something to appease her.

Well, she starts making her move, and I'm pretty much denying her. She, a short time later, literally sits on top of me, pinning me against the wall. I finally give in and told her a "quickie." Guys, I didn't even finish. I was so uninterested I went soft, and didn't even finish.

I've sorta texted her and maybe talked to her a few times, but I never really told her how supremely uncomfortable she made me, in my own home, even. I eventually stopped talking to her and gave her the fade, probably the first time I've ever given someone a fade. Question is, do I feel bad?

What do you mean do you feel bad? Do you?

I don't blame you for your reactions to what was happening, but you definitely had the opportunity to stop it before it got to the point it did.

 

[BIGWORM]

What do you mean do you feel bad? Do you?

I don't blame you for your reactions to what was happening, but you definitely had the opportunity to stop it before it got to the point it did.

I mean, should I feel bad for the fade? And you're right. My mindset was all over the place for some reason...

 

[Jhoan]

Lo and behold, I'm meeting up with a girl from Tinder tomorrow. She messaged me earlier today and was the one who suggested getting coffee. It turns out she lives a couple of streets over from me and knows a bunch of friends that live in my block. Talk about a sheer coincidence at getting lucky!

We'll see how it goes but the fact that she initiated it and made the plans seems to point to all signs looking good. I'm still a bit surprised admittedly since it happened in the span of about 2 hours on and off. Life is so damn random so this was a serendipitous moment.

 

[Lulubop]

I finally got my replacement phone sent to me after about a month and man, Tinder has been really dry for me. Like zero matches the last few days. Girls on OKC getting mad flaky too. Sad times.

 

[GK86]

Good luck, Jipan.

 

[Smiley90]

Move on.

Short story for you guys. So, I was talking to a girl for a little bit (couple of dates as well), came back to my place a couple times, whatever. Well, she started to become a little possessive, constantly calling me at least 6-7 times a day, most of the time while I was at work. Anyway, she invites herself over one day, and I wasn't in the mood, as I was extremely tired, and really, I just wanted to go to bed--I really just wanted to watch a movie or something to appease her.

Well, she starts making her move, and I'm pretty much denying her. She, a short time later, literally sits on top of me, pinning me against the wall. I finally give in and told her a "quickie." Guys, I didn't even finish. I was so uninterested I went soft, and didn't even finish.

I've sorta texted her and maybe talked to her a few times, but I never really told her how supremely uncomfortable she made me, in my own home, even. I eventually stopped talking to her and gave her the fade, probably the first time I've ever given someone a fade. Question is, do I feel bad?

genders reversed there'd be rape claims, just saying

 

[BIGWORM]

genders reversed there'd be rape claims, just saying

Deep down, I still feel violated, man.

 

[Troubled Bat]

Tried Tinder for the first time.. Yeah, that shit is not working out for me. Lol. Oh well. :')

 

[Piano]

Set up an OKCupid yesterday, haven't really started heavily using it yet because I need to take some better pictures.

Still, I got my first message tonight. From a guy:

Sorry for creeping but you're really hot and your username is funny haha so I couldn't help it. Hope the ladies are treating you well! Have a good night

Thanks, I mean, that's a nice thing to say.
Am I supposed to respond?
This is not what I was expecting.

 

[BIGWORM]

Set up an OKCupid yesterday, haven't really started heavily using it yet because I need to take some better pictures.

Still, I got my first message tonight. From a guy:


Thanks, I mean, that's a nice thing to say.
Am I supposed to respond?
This is not what I was expecting.

Probably just a "thanks," and move on.

 

[Troubled Bat]

Setting up my OKCupid account.

 

[davepoobond]

Set up an OKCupid yesterday, haven't really started heavily using it yet because I need to take some better pictures.

Still, I got my first message tonight. From a guy:


Thanks, I mean, that's a nice thing to say.
Am I supposed to respond?
This is not what I was expecting.

its strange, but he's probably fishing for people who "might" be into guys or something

 

[Pancakes]

So I recently recreated my profile on OKC after an amazing girl faded on me last year and have been getting better results. Managed to strike up a conversation with a pretty cute girl about our mutual interest in house of cards and it just kind of went from there. Unique replies seem to work better for me than the whole sushi or pizza thing. I had to cut it short because I was heading out and she said she was looking forward to getting to know me better.

Another girl I thought just ignored my message. But later responded that she was a bit sick and we started messaging back and forth.

Progress? Woohoo.

 

[Troubled Bat]

Pancakes, give me your wisdom! I've gotten nothing.

Edit: I liked someone, that had liked me before! :0 Too bad I won't message her right now, since it's really late.

 

[Pancakes]

Pancakes, give me your wisdom! I've gotten nothing.

Edit: I liked someone, that had liked me before! :0 Too bad I won't message her right now, since it's really late.

I'm no guru at this stuff, I've only gotten one date out of OKC. Although I only spent like 2 months on it last year. Every girl is different and will respond to different things. Some like short messages, some like huge epic sonnets.

Only consistent advice I can give is have a really really (really) good first picture for your profile or you risk losing out on a lot of matches. If I had a dog I would probably try to get a funny picture with it or something. The one I have for mine is me with a stuffed animal on my head and a drink in my hand with aviators on. Most girls find it humorous

And to be patient. I have several girl friends doing OKC and they literally get bombarded with all sorts of "eyyy bbyy you dtf?" messages that it's hard to sort through the bullshit. Give girls time.

 

[Troubled Bat]

I'm no guru at this stuff, I've only gotten one date out of OKC. Although I only spent like 2 months on it last year. Every girl is different and will respond to different things. Some like short messages, some like huge epic sonnets.

Only consistent advice I can give is have a really really (really) good first picture for your profile or you risk losing out on a lot of matches. If I had a dog I would probably try to get a funny picture with it or something. The one I have for mine is me with a stuffed animal on my head and a drink in my hand with aviators on. Most girls find it humorous

And to be patient. I have several girl friends doing OKC and they literally get bombarded with all sorts of "eyyy bbyy you dtf?" messages that it's hard to sort through the bullshit. Give girls time.

You have given the best advice that has ever been given to me on GAF. Why weren't we friends in SmashGAF, haha.

But yeah, for sure, I know there will be different messages to things. Honestly, the first message I got was about what anime I watch. I honestly prefer a girl who can type up a 'huge epic sonnet' I get more interested in a person that way. :3

I'm actually using the full picture of my avatars for OKC, along with another. I actually don't have any of that sort of stuff to take pictures with, I wish I did. It makes me realize that I need more pictures of myself.

Yeeah, patience is definitely something I need, but I get so anxious. If I don't receive anything, I end up kind of downing myself. >.<

 

[Ursn]

After months of bots, changing pictures, changing my description from simple to funny then back to simple, and lots and lots of swiping to the right, I got another tinder date with a cute girl. Last one was probably over 3 months ago. Just gotta keep at it. Going to get lunch on sunday and probably go ice skating afterwards. Wish me luck.

Edit: Funny thing was she asked me to download whatsapp to make sure she wasn't getting catfished.

Update: texted today asking if we're on for tomorrow still after not getting a response on whatsapp. Got a reschedule response text that read like she was drunk. Replied back with with a cool let me know. Feels bad man.

 

[Tabasco]

Tinder has not been treating me well at all.

I would say I have a decent looking profile, and I'm not even an ugly looking guy.

Maybe women have standards that are off the roof.

 

[BIGWORM]

Tinder has not been treating me well at all.

I would say I have a decent looking profile, and I'm not even an ugly looking guy.

Maybe women have standards that are off the roof.

You know why? Ryan Gosling. Fuck that guy.

 

[Jhoan]

It came and ended just like that. It felt very casual as opposed to the last girl I went out with last week since I didn't hug her initially nor in the end which I realized was a big no-no from my end in retrospect. It didn't help that it's raining like crazy outside. Touched a little bit though.

She paid for the lone soda I had lol. Said she'd been on Tinder for two days. Was really laid back and funny as well as had a couple of things in common. Hopefully I can meet up with her again soon since I told her I would treat her and texted her afterwards.

 

[Professor Renegade]

Hey guys, first time posting here. I've been using OKC for a few years now, at first I was horrible at sending messages and had a crappy profile to boot. Since then I've slowly improved over the past few years and I'm pretty confident that my profile, pics, and messages are fine, great even.

My problem is that I don't get responses too often, and even when I do they don't seem to go anywhere. I know that using free dating sites takes a lot of patience, but I'm sort of at the point of considering using a paysite. Has anyone else gotten this urge? Should I try a paysite out? If not then what can I do to, for lack of a better term, improve my game?