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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond

J

Jhoan

Member
Update: She told me there won't be a next time. Told me I didn't click with her and didn't want to lead me on, unmatched me too saving me the trouble. At least I didn't spend a dime and she was honest about it unlike many girls I've gone out with in the past. I'm feeling a bit bummed out at the moment but tomorrow I'll wake up like a new man and it'll be a thing of the past. I talked waaay too much about myself without her asking which I'll remember to do so less often for future references since I'm a think I'm a bit too egotistical as a person. I had a feeling it wasn't going to go anywhere because it felt so business-like and ended in a business-like fashion. On to the next one.

The beauty of online dating is it teaches one to handle rejection and being able to swat it off if things don't go well. It also means that sometimes you have success and other times you don't. On the flip side, I got messaged by a woman out of the blue on Tinder telling me I have nice hair and how it was going which I replied to. Also been chatting with another girl. To those of you that are finding online dating hard, keep on trucking; we're all here to support each other.

@Professor Renegade, welcome. It happens to all of us. It might be a case where the conversation dries up and don't suggest exchanging numbers so as a result, people get bored and move on to the next message.
 
stn

stn

Member
I just want to say in general to the people who say they don't receive replies very often: you guys should hit up the men's fashion thread and ask for advice on how to maximize your look. A lot of the time people are unaware of how to look their best, hence they adopt styles that may not be as ideal (ex. the male emo look, wearing track pants, etc...).

A slight change in style can go a LONG way. And women are VERY perceptive to fashion and trendy looks. 99% of online dating is about impressing with your photo, that's the harsh truth.

EDIT: True story. This one girl messaged me first, rated me 5 stars, all that jazz. She asked me for more pics, I sent her a few. The ONLY difference between those pics and the ones I already had was my hairstyle. NOTHING ELSE. She stopped replying after I sent them, I never bothered to continue the convo.
 
S

SRG01

Member
stn said:
I just want to say in general to the people who say they don't receive replies very often: you guys should hit up the men's fashion thread and ask for advice on how to maximize your look. A lot of the time people are unaware of how to look their best, hence they adopt styles that may not be as ideal (ex. the male emo look, wearing track pants, etc...).

A slight change in style can go a LONG way. And women are VERY perceptive to fashion and trendy looks. 99% of online dating is about impressing with your photo, that's the harsh truth.

EDIT: True story. This one girl messaged me first, rated me 5 stars, all that jazz. She asked me for more pics, I sent her a few. The ONLY difference between those pics and the ones I already had was my hairstyle. NOTHING ELSE. She stopped replying after I sent them, I never bothered to continue the convo.
Click to expand...

Not going to lie, online dating is extremely superficial. I mean, the very nature of it -- a couple of photos and a profile -- screams superficiality.

Not all women are drawn to superficiality, but when a person is thrust into an environment where appearances are the only valid form of measurement...
 
S

Symphonia

Banned
SRG01 said:
Not going to lie, online dating is extremely superficial. I mean, the very nature of it -- a couple of photos and a profile -- screams superficiality.
Click to expand...
This is especially true for Tinder. At least on OKCupid or POF you can set up a profile and give a more general insight into who you are so others can form an opinion on you based on more than just looks, but on Tinder it's your photos and a short sentence or two. Tinder is basically okay if you have model looks.
 
L

Lone_Prodigy

Member
Jipan said:
The beauty of online dating is it teaches one to handle rejection and being able to swat it off if things don't go well. It also means that sometimes you have success and other times you don't. On the flip side, I got messaged by a woman out of the blue on Tinder telling me I have nice hair and how it was going which I replied to. Also been chatting with another girl. To those of you that are finding online dating hard, keep on trucking; we're all here to support each other.
Click to expand...

It's kind of like a buffet. There are so many choices, but do you overload your plate with one thing when there might be something better down the line? You can sample a few things, but then there's the chance you reach the end without feeling satisfied, and you can't go back.
 
davepoobond

davepoobond

you can't put a price on sparks
Keru_Shiri said:
Been trying out the Coffee meets Bagel app, are the daily bagels mutual, or are they staggered somewhat?
Click to expand...

I believe they are mutual? I guess they could be staggered to prevent people from having to go through people that already pass on them.
 
K

Keru_Shiri

Member
davepoobond said:
I believe they are mutual? I guess they could be staggered to prevent people from having to go through people that already pass on them.
Click to expand...
That was what I thought too, but it started me off with a profile with only 2 hrs on the clock so I know that one wasn't mutual at least. But I'm guessing after 3 or 4 days its a pretty safe No.
 
P

Piano

Banned
Yo.
Had a friend take some better photos of my for my Tinder / OKC.
Which one of these two is better?
Is either one decent? I've got no read on how I look these days.

.
Click to expand...

Please don't quote the images, I'm gonna take them down once I get some feedback.
 
S

Symphonia

Banned
Malvingt2 said:
is not working for me. I feel like I wasted my time. I had a couple of women who liked me and never responded after the first message. It was frustrating. :/
Click to expand...
What was your first message? First messages are perhaps the most important part on building a relationship, and will be a key factor in how a woman judges you.
 
M

Malvingt2

Member
CyanideStrike said:
What was your first message? First messages are perhaps the most important part on building a relationship, and will be a key factor in how a woman judges you.
Click to expand...

it all depend of who I am sending the message to. Some times I wrote something casual or something about stuff[Tv shows,books,hobbies,ect] that we did have in common.


I took my time to read profiles for nothing. :/
 
S

Salamando

Member
Piano said:
Yo.
Had a friend take some better photos of my for my Tinder / OKC.
Which one of these two is better?
Is either one decent? I've got no read on how I look these days.



Please don't quote the images, I'm gonna take them down once I get some feedback.
Click to expand...

I like the top one. The lighting on your right eye is better, and the open-mouth smile works well for you.
 
Raptomex

Raptomex

Member
Ok. So what's the rule on messaging a girl after not hearing from her? Here's the scoop. This girl messaged me yesterday. We got to talking. I was quite intrigued. She's not bad looking either. I asked if I could message her again today. She said I could message her anytime if I wanted. I did message her today, late morning. Haven't heard anything. I was going to try again once more tomorrow and if I don't hear anything again, call it quits.
 
stn

stn

Member
@Piano

Open-mouth smile looks good on you. Good style and clothes. If I had to recommend a change I'd say shave the side-burns. Unless you grow some beard, which you look like you have perfect hair for.
 
S

Salamando

Member
Raptomex said:
Ok. So what's the rule on messaging a girl after not hearing from her? Here's the scoop. This girl messaged me yesterday. We got to talking. I was quite intrigued. She's not bad looking either. I asked if I could message her again today. She said I could message her anytime if I wanted. I did message her today, late morning. Haven't heard anything. I was going to try again once more tomorrow and if I don't hear anything again, call it quits.
Click to expand...

The "rule" varies from site to site. Since you've only started talking, 24-48 hours is a good wait. Send one more message, and if there's no reply, move on. Getting busy with work/life happens, but if she really wanted to meet you, she'd find 10 minutes to reply.
 
K

kai3345

Banned
Had a date last night with the first girl ive met off Tinder that didn't immediately give off a complete nutcase vibe. We went out for pizza, then afterward attempted to get in a hookah lounge but she didn't have her ID so they turned us away. We ended up going to my place where we just smoked a bunch of weed and vibed out to music/made out for like 3 solid hours.
 
P

Piano

Banned
stn said:
@Piano

Open-mouth smile looks good on you. Good style and clothes. If I had to recommend a change I'd say shave the side-burns. Unless you grow some beard, which you look like you have perfect hair for.
Click to expand...

Thanks man! I had a beard last summer. Problem is my mustache doesn't fill in nearly as thick as my neck meaning I've got to keep it trimmed pretty tidy so I don't look like I'm rocking a ferocious neckbeard.

I try again about once a year hoping for better results.
 
S

Symphonia

Banned
Malvingt2 said:
It all depend of who I am sending the message to. Some times I wrote something casual or something about stuff (TV shows, books, hobbies, ect) that we did have in common.

I took my time to read profiles for nothing.
Click to expand...
It's good you're seeking out mutual interests as it shows you're looking for a bond to develop but just remember that every other guy messaging her is doing the same. You need to stand out. Rather than just discussing her interests, look for smaller, subtle mentions on her page. This one girl had a bit on her page about 'cunts need not apply' unless, of course, they're a self-proclaimed cunt. I told her I was, she laughed, I acted like a cunt, she loved it, she gave me her number, and we went on a date. Just look for the smaller details, bro.

y2dvd said:
What are some opening lines yall use when having a match on Tinder? Doesn't have to be a pickup line.
Click to expand...
"Tinder just told me we’d make beautiful kids. Presumptuous, init?" always worked for me.
 
P

Piano

Banned
y2dvd said:
What are some opening lines yall use when having a match on Tinder? Doesn't have to be a pickup line.
Click to expand...

I try to just ask an earnest question about something in the girl's profile to get a conversation going.

Alternatively, my friend got this message and she thought it was hilarious:
7XnIbCS.png
Click to expand...

Another friend of mine started using it himself and said it works ~50% of the time, which is not bad.
 
Raptomex

Raptomex

Member
Salamando said:
The "rule" varies from site to site. Since you've only started talking, 24-48 hours is a good wait. Send one more message, and if there's no reply, move on. Getting busy with work/life happens, but if she really wanted to meet you, she'd find 10 minutes to reply.
Click to expand...
I agree. Thank you.
 
P

Piano

Banned
For some reason I'm tempted to subscribe to OKCupid paid shit for a month. What's $10, really? Apparently then I could see who liked me or whatever.
 
S

SlickShoesRUCrazy

Member
Raptomex said:
If they followed through they'd probably be broke. All of those things ask for money and I guarantee you you still wouldn't get the girl in the picture.
Click to expand...

they are going to be in the first 5 quick matches from what I have noticed after you receive a like.

just like them all, see which one is a mutual match, and unlike the rest.
 
Troubled Bat

Troubled Bat

Member
Piano said:
For some reason I'm tempted to subscribe to OKCupid paid shit for a month. What's $10, really? Apparently then I could see who liked me or whatever.
Click to expand...

Yeeah, that's what I'm hating right now.. I have 9 people who liked me but I don't know who they are!
 
P

Pancakes

hot, steaming, as melted butter slips into the cracks, drizzled with sticky sweet syrup OH GOD
I could've sworn OkCupid sends you an email and a notification with the username of the person who liked you. And if not they are usually the first people that popup when you do quick match anyway.
 
davepoobond

davepoobond

you can't put a price on sparks
Pancakes said:
I could've sworn OkCupid sends you an email and a notification with the username of the person who liked you. And if not they are usually the first people that popup when you do quick match anyway.
Click to expand...

POF does that.

okcupid just says you have a new quickmatch on the site and if you Like them through the quickmatch feature or through searching or if they visit your profile and you like them etc then it will match you two.
 
V

Valus

Member
Pancakes said:
I could've sworn OkCupid sends you an email and a notification with the username of the person who liked you. And if not they are usually the first people that popup when you do quick match anyway.
Click to expand...

They do that, but only if they are an exceptional match percentage wise.

Piano - don't bother paying for OKC. I've received likes from girls that didn't even view my profile, just liked me through the quickmatch thing. If I had to guess, I'd say most of them were liking just based on my pics, not my profile. It's really not worth it.
 
L

Lone_Prodigy

Member
Piano said:
For some reason I'm tempted to subscribe to OKCupid paid shit for a month. What's $10, really? Apparently then I could see who liked me or whatever.
Click to expand...

Women who like you will probably visit your profile. Visit them back and like them; if you both like each other it'll let you know.

As someone said, they'll also be one of the first profiles in your Quickmatch. If you like everyone you'll match.

On the mobile website you can see the date someone liked you. Match that to the visit date.
 
P

Piano

Banned
Valus said:
They do that, but only if they are an exceptional match percentage wise.

Piano - don't bother paying for OKC. I've received likes from girls that didn't even view my profile, just liked me through the quickmatch thing. If I had to guess, I'd say most of them were liking just based on my pics, not my profile. It's really not worth it.
Click to expand...

Lone_Prodigy said:
Women who like you will probably visit your profile. Visit them back and like them; if you both like each other it'll let you know.

As someone said, they'll also be one of the first profiles in your Quickmatch. If you like everyone you'll match.

On the mobile website you can see the date someone liked you. Match that to the visit date.
Click to expand...

Truth. Thanks for the pro tips.

Salamando said:
Anyone mind offering some brutally honest critiquing of my profile? Quote to see it.



Everytime I look at it, I flip flop between loving it and hating it. And yes, I know I need more pics.
Click to expand...

Biggest thing, as other said is you need a better picture and more than one picture.
Two other very nit-picky things: maybe don't start with "I'm awesome", or at least that type of intro has always put me off. But then again, I'm a male, so what do I know. Also, having two parentheticals (read: these) in the same paragraph bugged me for some reason.

Other than that, looks pretty solid, doesn't scream try-too-hard.
 
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