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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
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ClosingADoor
Member
Facebook can do this too, depending on the privacy settings. /stalker mode
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
The bots are pretty clear on there. Four hour talk would be someone real. Text her and check of course
Yeah, they would be real as in its a person. Still very likely it can be a scammer but at that point it's probably a low chance.
I had my own personal ordeal with one a couple years ago and it was very hard to tell they were fake until they started saying inconsistent things with reality.
Google searching a number is probably the best bet, I always do it if I get a number nowadays.
ClosingADoor
Member
Never ran into one, but what would they be scamming you for on Tinder? Trying to make people sent money to 'help out' or whatever?
I think I have a Tinder date coming up. Still need to exchange real phone numbers. I haven't been in the dating game for a while.
It was a matter of five or six messages (decent size) in the exchange. She'd asked a question ... and I'd come back with a few complements instead ... and I got a response back saying "Thank you, that was smooth" ... so I asked if it was smooth enough for a date. "Maybe" ... and I said "It's a date!" then she went to "when?" and I said "tomorrow at 1" ... went silent, she said she fell asleep when I checked the messages this morning. She works. I asked what time works best for her.
I wanted to get a date in while the fire's still hot. Wasn't trying to be eager but wanted to make something in as soon as possible. Text conversations can really drag and I didn't want that to happen.
Started doing a little homework to see if she's real.
I'd recognized her picture on Tinder from either OkCupid or PoF. I plugged in the age and a distance. Sorted through them and found her within a minute or two. The pictures were uncropped Tinder ones and a few different ones. She has a child. It was also in one of her Tinder pictures. It may have been why I was reluctant to message her in the past. Couldn't see any other reason why I wouldn't. That's a bridge I'll cross if the time comes.
Her dating profile had a city ... so with the first name and city, was able to find her Facebook profile. I haven't seen any red flags. Think it's a go.
Advice, tips, or warnings to heed? I'm kind of excited. Don't want to think about it too much. What are these Tinder dates like in real life? Do I bring condoms >_o ...
It was a matter of five or six messages (decent size) in the exchange. She'd asked a question ... and I'd come back with a few complements instead ... and I got a response back saying "Thank you, that was smooth" ... so I asked if it was smooth enough for a date. "Maybe" ... and I said "It's a date!" then she went to "when?" and I said "tomorrow at 1" ... went silent, she said she fell asleep when I checked the messages this morning. She works. I asked what time works best for her.
I wanted to get a date in while the fire's still hot. Wasn't trying to be eager but wanted to make something in as soon as possible. Text conversations can really drag and I didn't want that to happen.
Started doing a little homework to see if she's real.
I'd recognized her picture on Tinder from either OkCupid or PoF. I plugged in the age and a distance. Sorted through them and found her within a minute or two. The pictures were uncropped Tinder ones and a few different ones. She has a child. It was also in one of her Tinder pictures. It may have been why I was reluctant to message her in the past. Couldn't see any other reason why I wouldn't. That's a bridge I'll cross if the time comes.
Her dating profile had a city ... so with the first name and city, was able to find her Facebook profile. I haven't seen any red flags. Think it's a go.
Advice, tips, or warnings to heed? I'm kind of excited. Don't want to think about it too much. What are these Tinder dates like in real life? Do I bring condoms >_o ...
Most of the bots I have ran into, was for marketing purposes.
That, or they tell you 'they're really horny' before linking you to some dodgy cam/scam site. Happens to me all the time on Tinder.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
The one I ran into was on okcupid actually, but same logic applies.
Basically they try to swoon you into sending them gifts/money or whatever.
ClosingADoor
Member
Yeah, I get those. Links to cam sites and such. But I mean the ones with a real person on the other end, talking a few days and such.
Edit:
Wonder how many people fall for that. Must be some at least to make it worth the trouble.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Well, the one I ran into was a very convincing fake at least initially. I still occasionally see her profile around.
"She" had perfect English and was definitely American. I am usually able to pick up on the bullshit very easily but it wasn't until we were messaging on fb that I noticed she typed very fast, talked about wanting privacy a lot but had seemingly thousands of friends on fb, was online all of the time, etc etc.
It can be very easy if you aren't aware or pay attention to the small things like that. What sealed the deal for me is when I asked what she liked to do all day (since "she had no job") she just said masturbate. It was really quite hilarious at that point. They ended up insulting me about my "flirting skills" and how I was boring etc before it ended.
They probably have at any given time multiple people they are cycling in an out of their purview to convince them to send gifts or whatever. It is pretty sad that people may get to that point.
TimeEffect
Member
Thanks. I searched her number, nothing came out. I know the spammers bots and marketers. My worry is some old guy maniacally posing as a girl and trying to waste my time
There was a girl yesterday who was great to talk to but then went dead when I asked for snapchat. She might have been real after all, but I had to know. I may have been too fast on that one. She was hot and messaged me first, and to me it was strange. We talked naturally for a good half hour and then she either stopped or went to bed
There was a girl yesterday who was great to talk to but then went dead when I asked for snapchat. She might have been real after all, but I had to know. I may have been too fast on that one. She was hot and messaged me first, and to me it was strange. We talked naturally for a good half hour and then she either stopped or went to bed
So I logged into OKC and I have a message from a random woman from the US. She asked if I still play Guild Wars. I was really confused so I asked if I know her. Turns out she's some girl I used to play GW with from years and years ago. What's really confusing is how she found me. Like, dafuq?
ClosingADoor
Member
Don't overthink it. But asking for snapchat... might seem like a way to ask for nudes to her
Why would you think it is a spammer? Just talk a bit, set something up and see from there. Don't have anything to lose right.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
It's best to just schedule a phone call or meet in person ASAP so you don't get dicked around with if that is the case. The added benefit is if it is a girl it'll make them also decide sooner if they want to continue talking and if they disappear you'll waste less time on them.
TimeEffect
Member
I actually found her on facebook. She has a unique name.
1 mutual friend, and the rest of her story checks out.
UNLESS it's some guy who jacked her profile and posed as her. But that is unlikely lol.
I regret doubting the other girl from yesterday who I asked for snaps of. She said guys send her dick pics, hence why she didn't want to do it. But it just seemed fishy to me.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
This is funny, I read an article about Invisible Boy/Girlfriend and they do exactly that: multiple people communicating with you while pretending to be someone else.
ClosingADoor
Member
Meh, if you don't feel right with it, nothing lost really. It'll go better next time.
That said, I need a break from messaging and set up some dates the coming weeks. Collected some numbers this week, see how it all goes. Might end up that the first one from friday was the best already, hoping to do something again next week.
Got a girl's number from Tinder last night but she's god awful at texting and only gives me one word replies which is boring. She hasn't replied to my last text in a few hours so I'm assuming her interest and/or attention span is really low. I suggested meeting up on Tinder this week and she said she's free on Thursday and Friday but haven't arranged said plans since transitioning to text.
Normally if I get a girl's number, texting is usually pretty healthy (save for one recent exception where I kind of acted like a dick and never heard from the girl again so I chalked it up as a loss and moved on). I've encountered girls like this that are boring via text but much more interesting in person. Maybe she's one of those girls that prefers talking via phone as opposed to through text.
I know I'm overthinking this but should I send a follow up text to arrange plans or wait until tomorrow to hit her up? I doubt she's gonna send me another text today. I don't really like having to chase after girls if they're not as interested in me as I am in them. It takes two to tango after all.
Normally if I get a girl's number, texting is usually pretty healthy (save for one recent exception where I kind of acted like a dick and never heard from the girl again so I chalked it up as a loss and moved on). I've encountered girls like this that are boring via text but much more interesting in person. Maybe she's one of those girls that prefers talking via phone as opposed to through text.
I know I'm overthinking this but should I send a follow up text to arrange plans or wait until tomorrow to hit her up? I doubt she's gonna send me another text today. I don't really like having to chase after girls if they're not as interested in me as I am in them. It takes two to tango after all.
Raptomex
Member
I really hate wasting time. Talking to a girl. I was intrigued. I eventually got her number and she seemed happy when I said I'd like to ask her out some time. So after exchanging numbers, we text here and there for about a day. It's been 3 or 4 days and she won't respond to me. I guess it's done. And she found me. How annoying.
Sounds a lot like the situation I'm in now. I've been in the same above predicament several times in the past where interest is there initially but fizzles out over text before ever meeting up and thus, I usually delete numbers/texts without a problem and move on. It does end up being a waste of time. Did you suggest meeting up with her at all since transitioning to text? If so, has she given you excuses or avoided it outright?
Raptomex
Member
Not that first day we were texting. But yesterday I sent her a Facebook message asking if she'd like to go out some time soon. Idk, maybe her phone was fucked or something and not getting my messages (I was being optimistic). No response and she's made FB posts since my message so I firmly believe she's ignoring me. I'm not going to get nasty with her or anything. I don't like to cause conflict but I sent her one final message today saying "I guess we're done? Well it was nice talking to you." Shame, really. When she first ever messaged me we were going back and forth for a good hour. We really hit it off. Idk wtf happened but oh, well.
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
Is there something like Tinder without Facebook? I use Facebook just to keep in touch with people I know, I don't connect anything to it. I'm looking to meet people, not have short internet conversations.
Watch Da Birdie
I buy cakes for myself on my birthday it's not weird lots of people do it I bet
So...uh, what does it mean when someone you've been talking to deletes their profile...
The person probably either found someone or got bored/tired/frustrated of it. It can be frustrating when it happens especially if there's a good rapport and it does suck but there's pretty much nothing you can do about it. In a few occasions, the person might announce the deletion of the profile and give you some kind of contact information.
Watch Da Birdie
I buy cakes for myself on my birthday it's not weird lots of people do it I bet
The thing is we're texting right now though, so I don't know if this is good for me or bad for me lol.
Good for you.
Watch Da Birdie
I buy cakes for myself on my birthday it's not weird lots of people do it I bet
So...now I'm wondering, should I delete mine?
We've been only casually texting, and I worried things had started to fizzle out a bit...I seemed to be the main one texting. Of course, she's really busy with an internship and such so I guess I have more free-time. Recently I even popped the idea of meeting in person and seeing a movie, and she said that was a great plan, but we haven't talked much since then (two days ago), so I worried if I came on to fast and she got nervous.
Guess I'll just wait a bit and see what happens.
Delete it when you are ready to. Not because you feel obligated to.
Unless sparks go off that you guys hit it off and become an item, I don't see any reason why you should delete your profile just because she did. As for worrying about the texting fizzling out, hit her up again. Maybe she forgot. Try setting something up when you do. It's what I plan on doing tomorrow tomorrow with the aforementioned girl.
So a girl hit me up on Tinder telling me she was horny and asked if she could give me her number. I said sure but was skeptical of it being a bot so I looked it up on Google but didn't get any scam hits when my brother comes and types "When I should I call you?" I got unmatched. I guess it was real after all. There's a small probability that I can still salvage it and find my search history of the said number but I think the boat might have sailed on that one already. Still, I'm gonna push my luck.
Edit: I supposedly got the wrong number. I deleted the texts. No sweat off my back. Lesson learned: the numbers are legit so it doesn't hurt plunging in next time a girl on Tinder offers to give me her number out of the blue because she's horny. Can't get scammed through texts.
ugh. Think I need to take some time off from dating to reevaluate what I'm really looking for. Met a girl on eHarmony, and we've barely started talking but I feel like everything she says is a warning sign. Starts off complaining about all the cheaters and losers she's tired of, how she hates her neighborhood, isn't too fond of her job...but isn't making the effort to improve it.
Is it too much to ask for a girl to be happy with her life? To not sound as if she needs a man to complete her life? Or at least can hide her dissatisfaction until the first date?
Is it too much to ask for a girl to be happy with her life? To not sound as if she needs a man to complete her life? Or at least can hide her dissatisfaction until the first date?
EatinOlives
Member
I dated someone last year whose topics of conversation were all pretty much negative. Complaining about schoolwork, shitty friends, family being annoying, just anything that was negative. I mean, it was kind of that kinda sarcastic complaining meant as a joke more than anything, but after hours of her topics of conversation being nothing but that it got really tiring. It stopped being funny and it started making me think "is there anything this girl is happy about"?
So from my perspective, I don't think you're being unreasonable to want a girl who is relatively content with her place in life. I mean I doubt you only want to date someone who is just BEAMING and is living her dream life, but it's just a turn off to talk to your date and all she has to say is negative thoughts and complaints. That just feels like you're walking into the life of someone with a lot of baggage.
... not 2 hours.
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
At least a day. It it's taken longer than a week though she's not going to respond.
I think I could get by if they weren't content with their life, but they had plans to fix it. Taking control of their future instead of whining about their present.
Way I deal with things - I message the girl and largely forget about her unless she messages me back. If she responds, awesome, if she doesn't, oh well.
ClosingADoor
Member
Depends on the girl and other things. I've started setting my filter to 'online now' and send those something. Got some pretty quick replies from time to time. Other still take a few hours, sometimes days. Really no rule for it.
Balls. Since installing Tinder two months ago I've had 7 dates. One became a friend/sports buddy (awesome!), one was, for lack of a better word, fuckbuddy (fine for a couple of weeks, then called it quits), the other four were nice enough but no spark. Then came last thursday. I already had heaps of fun chatting with this girl and we both seemed really eager to meet up. Went for drinks, had a great night, she was really enthousiastic about it and we made plans for a second date. Then in the weekend she said she talked it over with a girlfriend and came to the conclusion it felt too much as friendship :/. Oh well, c'est, ce que c'est. I've been in her shoes. Still, it does feel like you really have to troop on to make it happen!
Is it odd if I want to message a girl I want to message a girl with purely platonic intentions in mind? I got matched up with an artist type girl and would be interested in networking with her since one of her art works that she has a picture looks cool but I have no romantic intentions.
Even though I'm mostly looking for a casual thing, I'm also interested in making more platonic female friends (read: not wanting to get into their pants at all). I don't know how I would go about messaging her stating as such without her getting the wrong idea. It's hard to meet female friends on Tinder when it's either there's spark or no spark. I'm well aware that Tinder is not the ideal place to be looking for friends as I have met people through meetup.com.
Also, I'm gonna text the aforementioned girl from yesterday today suggesting we get together on Friday as opposed to beating around the bush with fluff talk. I suggested meeting up with another girl yesterday but I think she got scared that I was too aggressive and hasn't responded.
Even though I'm mostly looking for a casual thing, I'm also interested in making more platonic female friends (read: not wanting to get into their pants at all). I don't know how I would go about messaging her stating as such without her getting the wrong idea. It's hard to meet female friends on Tinder when it's either there's spark or no spark. I'm well aware that Tinder is not the ideal place to be looking for friends as I have met people through meetup.com.
Also, I'm gonna text the aforementioned girl from yesterday today suggesting we get together on Friday as opposed to beating around the bush with fluff talk. I suggested meeting up with another girl yesterday but I think she got scared that I was too aggressive and hasn't responded.
Red_taiyaki
Member
Anywhere from between a hour to five days; sometimes from the same person. It really depends on how busy they are during that time amongst a number of different circumstances. Heck, I know that sometimes even if it's a person I really want to reply to, I don't get back to them for a few days sometimes. So it REALLY, REALLY varies.
Worst thing you can do is sit around and "wait" for a message- it'll drive you bonkers. Go out, get some air. If you get a reply awesome. If not, whatevs. Easy to say, hard to do...yadda yadda.
Since you're new to OKC, here's a proptip. Hate to break it to you, but it's really a female buyer's market. They can get anywhere between 20-30 messages from new people a day. Just something for you to consider.
Anyhow, good luck!
ClosingADoor
Member
Yeah, don't sign up to just any website. Stick to the well known ones. OKC and POF for free, they won't sent you any spammy stuff in my experience.
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
Nope. I've sent messages to girls I'd never want to date but that I'd like to hang out with. Just let them know that that's what you want upfront.
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
On OkCupid, how long does someone liking you make them show up i your "You Might Like..." section? There's a girl that keeps showing up in my feed, pretty much several times a day, but I've looked at her profile and wasn't interested. Usually people don't show up anywhere near as much as this person, so it has me curious as to why her thumbnail is so common.
Been trying Tinder since the beginning of December. Got three matches and only one bothered to reply to my messages. So we hit it off and I she asked me to come to her this weekend. I said we should meet as friends at first so that we don't end up doing anything rash. I felt no spark but she was really into it and as such she was all over me. We ate, watched a movie and just chilled. It was pretty good. Slept at her place but nothing happened.
Next morning I wake up, decide to sit around for awhile browsing on my phone until she wakes. So she eventually wakes up and instantly goes: "You don't have to stay here if you don't want to..."
I reply: "Hey. Do you really think I find it so horrible?"
Room goes silent. 6-7 minutes pass by with complete silence.
She says: "I will turn on a movie to get rid of this awkward silence..."
She turns on a movie and 20-30 minutes go by: "You should leave now... I need to study."
I leave and have to find my way back into the city and crash at a friend's place that following night. Now she is not replying to any of my messages. Christ...
Next morning I wake up, decide to sit around for awhile browsing on my phone until she wakes. So she eventually wakes up and instantly goes: "You don't have to stay here if you don't want to..."
I reply: "Hey. Do you really think I find it so horrible?"
Room goes silent. 6-7 minutes pass by with complete silence.
She says: "I will turn on a movie to get rid of this awkward silence..."
She turns on a movie and 20-30 minutes go by: "You should leave now... I need to study."
I leave and have to find my way back into the city and crash at a friend's place that following night. Now she is not replying to any of my messages. Christ...
ClosingADoor
Member
Yeah... she had other ideas I'm thinking than meeting as friends...