Lone_Prodigy
Member
Why wouldn't she be offended? You refused her advances (which is your right) but hung around the next morning for no apparent reason.
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
Sounds like she wanted to get laid and then have you fuck off. I don't think you should waste your time sending any more messages, 'cause your desires are not aligned.
depths20XX
Member
So why'd you even stay the night if you just wanted to meet as friends? Your whole "lets be friends and not do anything rash" approach is really strange. Now you want her to return your texts for some reason? Why?
In an odd spot I never thought I would see. I went on two OKC dates this weekend and they both went really well.
The first girl I've been talking to for months before she just moved here and we hit it off really well. We've since been on another really good date and ended the night with a kiss. My only concern is she listed herself as "Christian and very serious about it." It hasn't come up, but I need to figure out just how conservative she might be.
The second girl was quick with everything. We started talking online and quickly set up a date. The conversation was a little strained at first, but then we went to a bar, really started chatting and I ended up staying the night at her house. We haven't been on a second date but she wants to see me again.
I feel like I have a better connection/more relationship potential with the first girl but I really hate to tell the second "thanks for the sex okay bye." She pushed for sex more than I did but I don't want her to feel used. My current feeling is that I should talk to the first about her beliefs; I have no problem with her being Christian unless she's also homophobic, pro life, etc. If things go well, time to have an uncomfortable conversation with the other girl.
EDIT: Holy shit. The second girl asked about another date. I decided to be forward and tell her, "just so you know I'm still dating."
"That's okay, me too. I'm not interested in monogamy right now. Maybe bring one of your dates for a three way?"
The first girl I've been talking to for months before she just moved here and we hit it off really well. We've since been on another really good date and ended the night with a kiss. My only concern is she listed herself as "Christian and very serious about it." It hasn't come up, but I need to figure out just how conservative she might be.
The second girl was quick with everything. We started talking online and quickly set up a date. The conversation was a little strained at first, but then we went to a bar, really started chatting and I ended up staying the night at her house. We haven't been on a second date but she wants to see me again.
I feel like I have a better connection/more relationship potential with the first girl but I really hate to tell the second "thanks for the sex okay bye." She pushed for sex more than I did but I don't want her to feel used. My current feeling is that I should talk to the first about her beliefs; I have no problem with her being Christian unless she's also homophobic, pro life, etc. If things go well, time to have an uncomfortable conversation with the other girl.
EDIT: Holy shit. The second girl asked about another date. I decided to be forward and tell her, "just so you know I'm still dating."
"That's okay, me too. I'm not interested in monogamy right now. Maybe bring one of your dates for a three way?"
Red_taiyaki
Member
glhfdd
Yeah I can see why it appears to be strange. However, hear me out for a moment. Early on when we started talking she asked me how I see this whole internet dating thing. I told her that I would still consider her a friend if things didn't went as planned. She agreed on that.
Now, here's the other thing. I am going on 23 in March and I am still a virgin. I want my first time to mean something and I am not really into this whole casual sex thing, maybe after I've tried it the first time but right now one of my biggest fears is doing something rash with a girl on the "first date" and waking up the next morning naked in her or my bed.
She lives about an hour and a half from me by train and I did not want anything to be rushed. Hence why I told her we should take it easy the first time. We share a lot of interests and I am seriously wondering why she got so offended. I would not mind her being my friend, but I just felt no spark between the two of us.
Again, she lives 1 and a half hours from me by train. Hence why we decided I should've stayed there for the weekend. I was lucky that my friend was home that weekend so I could go to his place instead. He is the only one I know in that city.
Then again. I have almost no experience with unrequited feelings since I am usually the one to be in love with someone who does not love me back in the same way. So It's probably just me being stupid with my lack of experience.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Hilarious. Do any of the questions have funny answers?
How often do you 'take it out' on other people when you're having a bad day?
-Always.
Do you litter?
-Often
How often do you get angry?
-Very often
Things like that, http://www.okcupid.com/profile/juno/questions?cf=profile
enoirmeplz
Member
So I signed up for OkC yesterday. I've gotten quite a few messages so far. I haven't really gotten into online dating before. I tried Tinder, but it usually quickly turned in a "let's f*ck" kind of conversation... I don't consider myself prudish, but I also don't sleep around indiscriminately.
I've been talking to one guy. We've decided to meet up Sunday at Starbucks. So that's actually kinda cool.
I've been talking to one guy. We've decided to meet up Sunday at Starbucks. So that's actually kinda cool.
Troubled Bat
Member
I feel the best way for me to even get a date is to go out in public and find somebody. >.< Online dating is just not my thing.
I actually messaged this person I had somewhat in an interest in, for a whole week. I asked the question of wanting to meet up, if possible. I got no reply back. :c
I actually messaged this person I had somewhat in an interest in, for a whole week. I asked the question of wanting to meet up, if possible. I got no reply back. :c
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Bleh, I hate one sided messaging. I ask all the questions while the other person replies without asking any of me or expanding the conversation. Feels like a dead end, but at least she's responding quickly.
I made a new account on OKC. Suggestions are welcomed.
I made a new account on OKC. Suggestions are welcomed.
The correct way to link to your profile is http://www.okcupid.com/profile/<Your Username Here>
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Thanks. Fixed the link.
Troubled Bat
Member
Alright, I'm just pissed off now.. :|
I was talking with somebody for a whole week straight, and I finally got the guts of asking if they would like to meet up. I waited for a response for 2 days.
Ended up getting a notification on my email, she replied! "Yes. I would love to." I go to OKC to reply to her..
"This user had deleted or disabled their profile."
Dafuq. WHYYYYY
I was talking with somebody for a whole week straight, and I finally got the guts of asking if they would like to meet up. I waited for a response for 2 days.
Ended up getting a notification on my email, she replied! "Yes. I would love to." I go to OKC to reply to her..
"This user had deleted or disabled their profile."
Dafuq. WHYYYYY
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Wow, that sucks man. Unless she reactivates and sends you another message keep going on brother.
Since you mainly seem to be looking for friends, perhaps try Meetup.com instead? You say you're not looking for a relationship, but you wouldn't rule it out. Commit to "just looking for friends" or "looking for friends, possibly a girlfriend if we really connect".
You could use better pics. The extreme close-up isn't doing you any favors. The one with you smiling in a button down looks lots better.
Judging from your profile, you've come down with some kind of illness that caused you to drop out of your masters program, and you're also not currently working? That's a hard sell. There's a lot of genuine losers who talk about how all day they try to improve themselves, so you've got to try a little harder to show you're not one of them.
Despite mentioning you have "so many interests", the only ones that come across are reading and writing. And I'd take out the part about "i don't live an exciting life". If you're looking to "mix it up", talk about how. "I plan to visit a new restaurant/watch a new movie/try a new beer each week in 2015."
"I'm a fairly component writer. I've very particular about word choice" - This typo must be the definition of Irony. And I wouldn't use "surmised" there. Surmise always implied a guess (at best an educated guess), at least to me. Maybe use concocted?
"I need someone pushing me to go outside my comfort zone." Take it out if you're looking for a relationship.
The shitty thing about online dating, it's a Girl's market. You've got to somehow show what makes you better than every other schmuck out there.
Troubled Bat
Member
Hell yeah it sucks.. I think I never been so disappointed in my life.
Well.. Time to find somebody else, goddamn, this is going to be difficult.
Red_taiyaki
Member
Hang in there man, happens to the best of us. All last year, I had every single girl who agreed to go on a date cancel a day or two before our scheduled meet. (All various circumstances.)
Still going strong though!
OK, I sent a message to this woman on OKC and, as expected, I didn't get a reply for quite a while. Well last night, whike I was asleep, she finally replied. But something about the reply just seems kinda...off. I don't know, look for yourself and let me know what you think, it sounds like such an automated reply.
Hm.
Hm.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
it reads like a broken english spam message.
ask her something specific but off base and ignore the question they ask. Like, "what sort of food do you like" or something. the next message will tell you for sure if it is automated or not.
electricshake
Member
Don't get so hung up on someone you've never met, it's not worth it.
Exploding8
Member
Guess I'm back online, went on three dates with a girl, last one was really fun and chill, talked for four hours in a bar nearby. Kissed at the end. Next day I texted, didn't get a response, texted her once more before I went to bed to ask how her day went. Long story short she said she realized she "doesn't see me that way" after we kissed. >.<.
Sent 5 or 6 messages out yesterday on OKC but haven't heard back yet from any of them. I was doing pretty good with getting replies before I started dating this girl. If anyone wants to critique my profile I'd love the help. http://www.okcupid.com/profile/exploding789
Edit:
I feel your pain T.T
Sent 5 or 6 messages out yesterday on OKC but haven't heard back yet from any of them. I was doing pretty good with getting replies before I started dating this girl. If anyone wants to critique my profile I'd love the help. http://www.okcupid.com/profile/exploding789
Edit:
I feel your pain T.T
It was a spam message. She's looking for people to convert to her chosen religiom. Yeah, I knew my answer straight away.
nope.gif
No the worst is an automated PoF message inviting you to some meet up.
Its especially bad for me at the moment. I have a friend who is now in a successful relationship with a girl he met online. While I fight for every reply.
No the worst is an automated PoF message inviting you to some meet up.
Its especially bad for me at the moment. I have a friend who is now in a successful relationship with a girl he met online. While I fight for every reply.
Keep fighting buddy.
Thanks dude. I will. I will.
DivineRage002
Member
Can someone give me tips for what to put as my pictures on tinder? I keep seeing people saying no mirror/shirtless/selfies/gym/etc and that doesn't leave out much. I don't have someone following me around with a camera.
ClosingADoor
Member
I use my main one a head shot looking into the camera. Then something bit more professional in a suit, and one out on holidays.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
I'll change it to the latter. Meetup is hard to use in a rural area and I don't do well in groups.
I actually dislike that smiling picture; I look pretty old. I thought the close up was eye catching. Are goofy pictures okay? I enjoy taking those.
I'm honestly not at a great point in my life, but things have never been near optimal. If I wait until I'm satisfied with how my life is I might be waiting forever. I'm in the process of applying for disability and trying to finish up a class I didn't complete last Spring. If I can finish my Masters Program I'll have many more opportunities.
I might be one of those losers, but I'm not sure. I try to eat well, exercise everyday, read more, try new strategies to deal with my ADHD and binge eating, am being treated for depression/anxiety and spend time learning new information. I'd rather not think about it though, don't need the thought feeding my depression.
Maybe talk about my interests in history, economics, social issues and politics? I will take that out. I actually have been going to new restaurants and seeing new movies this year. I'm apart of the 50 movies/50 books GAF group and have a Yelp account.
Fixed that typo and will change to concocted.
Would changing it to something along the lines of looking for the right person to do new things with be acceptable? Everyone else close to me is pretty content with how things are, not interested in expanding their interests.
I think of it as more compatible than better. It's been my perception that women are allowed to have more unique profiles, while men are suppose to be more on the generic: esoteric women are cute, esoteric men are weird.
I have low self-esteem which I realize is a big turn off, but I think I am a good person who has much to offer.Thanks for the input.
megamerican
Member
Overall looks good, got a good variety of pics. I probably wouldn't open with the line about being introverted and shy though.
Red_taiyaki
Member
Agreed with the bit on being introverted and shy.
Exploding8
Member
Yeah when I was looking at it I noticed that might be a flag too, I'll change it. Thanks guys
Not necessarily a bad thing or a 'flag' at all. Women love honesty, even if it means exposing your flaws. They tend to feel more at ease around introverts, anyway, it makes them feel more comfortable. At least it has in my experience.
Exploding8
Member
I'll probably just move it to the end or the middle and reword it a bit. I should probably open on something else though; it's not a very good hook
If you're going to move it, put it in the 'You should message me if...' section, and make a little light-hearted joke about you finding it hard to message first due to your shyness. It gives them a reason to message you instead of you messaging them.I'll probably just move it to the end or the middle and reword it a bit. I should probably open on something else though; it's not a very good hook
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
If you don't already, floss your teeth.
I always thought it sounded stupid, but a lot of women judge the potential of a relationship on how much they like the first kiss. There's a biological reason for this though.
Your spit has biological information in it, and tells a woman if your immune systems are compatible. If they like the taste of your spit, they're more likely to remain attracted to you. But even if your immune systems are compatible, if your mouth tastes bad they won't like it. You need to keep bacteria and anything that might make you taste bad out of your mouth.
BeatResetsTheWorld
Banned
*Send girl a message*
*She visits my profile, likes me*
*Doesn't send anything in response*
What more can I do?!
*She visits my profile, likes me*
*Doesn't send anything in response*
What more can I do?!
BIGWORM
Member
Sometimes they may have only answered like five questions.
Welp, just gone through the turmoil of talking to this smoking hot woman on OKC. Like, the conversation was getting pretty deep and intense. We have a load in common, and we both find each other attractive. She's local, my age, perfect. I'm just typing out a reply, click send, and it fails. I click on her profile and...
...she's deleted.
Farewell, my love.
...she's deleted.
Farewell, my love.
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
She had several pages of answers, almost everything was red for both of us.
People can also deactivate their profiles. Don't delete the messages, so if she reactivates you can see her picture.Welp, just gone through the turmoil of talking to this smoking hot woman on OKC. Like, the conversation was getting pretty deep and intense. We have a load in common, and we both find each other attractive. She's local, my age, perfect. I'm just typing out a reply, click send, and it fails. I click on her profile and...
...she's deleted.
Farewell, my love.
There was a girl I was talking to that deactivated her profile, and I was bummed because she was really cool, but then several months later she reactivated it
with her sexuality changed from bisexual to lesbian ;_;
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Look on the bright side: it didn't happen after you dated her.
Troubled Bat
Member
I just got somebody to message me! Let's see where this goes.
Oh man, that's harsh. I wouldn't think I'd be able to even go through with it anymore.
More power to you, man!
Oh, I'm not, but it's just that she was my first person to actually have a conversation with me since I started. I either got no messages, no replys, or a moment where somebody messaged me then once I replied.. Quiet. Dead quiet.
So it sucks that she's now gone.
I feel for you. ;_;
Oh man, that's harsh. I wouldn't think I'd be able to even go through with it anymore.
More power to you, man!
Oh, I'm not, but it's just that she was my first person to actually have a conversation with me since I started. I either got no messages, no replys, or a moment where somebody messaged me then once I replied.. Quiet. Dead quiet.
So it sucks that she's now gone.
Welp, just gone through the turmoil of talking to this smoking hot woman on OKC. Like, the conversation was getting pretty deep and intense. We have a load in common, and we both find each other attractive. She's local, my age, perfect. I'm just typing out a reply, click send, and it fails. I click on her profile and...
...she's deleted.
Farewell, my love.
I feel for you. ;_;
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
The woman I mentioned before is responding more quickly than any other I've messaged. She actually responded as I was writing this post, mere minutes after my last message sent! Yesterday I figured it was due to being inside from the storm, but that's passed. It's possible her college classes could have been canceled today.
It's been a little challenging keeping the conversation going, resulting in viewing her profile more often than I'd prefer in search of topics. I'm uncertain how compatible we are, but I'll keep pursuing it.
It's been a little challenging keeping the conversation going, resulting in viewing her profile more often than I'd prefer in search of topics. I'm uncertain how compatible we are, but I'll keep pursuing it.