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[Windam]

You seriously messaged someone to bitch about you not liking their profile?

I do it all the time, man. "Sharp knees in photo #3 2/10 would not bang".

But seriously, not sure it's even worth trying to message this girl back since she lives in another town. Granted it's only about 35km away, but eh... I'll message her later, I guess.

 

[Salamando]

As someone who very rarely uses POF, what is this 0/8 stuff?

He's keeping track of how many messages he gets back vs how many messages he sends out. Very dangerous way to handle online dating. Without a reply, you have no idea why she isn't interested. Could be she isn't looking for a boyfriend, she already has one, her profile's inactive, she read your message and forgot about it, you're just not her type, or any other dozens of reasons that aren't your fault.

One thing I've learned about dating in general - you will fail a lot. You keep track of 'em all, you'll go mad. Learn from your failures when you can, forget the rest.

 

[Symphonia]

He's keeping track of how many messages he gets back vs how many messages he sends out. Very dangerous way to handle online dating. Without a reply, you have no idea why she isn't interested. Could be she isn't looking for a boyfriend, she already has one, her profile's inactive, she read your message and forgot about it, you're just not her type, or any other dozens of reasons that aren't your fault.

One thing I've learned about dating in general - you will fail a lot. You keep track of 'em all, you'll go mad. Learn from your failures when you can, forget the rest.

Nah, fuck that. It's a known fact that girls will ignore up to 70% of the messages she recieves. Your message could very well fall into that percentage. If you keep track of every message you send x the number of replies you get, you're guaranteed to drive yourself insane trying to come up with reasons why she never messaged back. I have the ability to see if my messages have been read on OKC. If they have been read, and she hasn't replied within a day or two, I delete the chat thread and move on. No point in obssessing over it.

 

[A Human Becoming]

You seriously messaged someone to bitch about you not liking their profile?

I did because I didn't give a fuck. She wasn't as upset about it as you would think.

 

[A Human Becoming]

He's keeping track of how many messages he gets back vs how many messages he sends out. Very dangerous way to handle online dating. Without a reply, you have no idea why she isn't interested. Could be she isn't looking for a boyfriend, she already has one, her profile's inactive, she read your message and forgot about it, you're just not her type, or any other dozens of reasons that aren't your fault.

One thing I've learned about dating in general - you will fail a lot. You keep track of 'em all, you'll go mad. Learn from your failures when you can, forget the rest.

Nah, fuck that. It's a known fact that girls will ignore up to 70% of the messages she recieves. Your message could very well fall into that percentage. If you keep track of every message you send x the number of replies you get, you're guaranteed to drive yourself insane trying to come up with reasons why she never messaged back. I have the ability to see if my messages have been read on OKC. If they have been read, and she hasn't replied within a day or two, I delete the chat thread and move on. No point in obssessing over it.

I don't obsess about it. If there's a pattern of no replies, I change my profile up or I look for advice (like here!).

EDIT: Ooops double post

 

[davepoobond]

What is a new profile supposed to accomplish for you? POF deletes the messages you have automatically anyway.

Just change your existing one.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

I did because I didn't give a fuck. She wasn't as upset about it as you would think.

Doesn't make it any less of an assholish to do. It's things like that that make people not respond to your messages. It's a whole mindset if you think that's how you behave towards people you don't know.

 

[davepoobond]

Doesn't make it any less of an assholish to do. It's things like that that make people not respond to your messages. It's a whole mindset if you think that's how you behave towards people you don't know.

I would be curious to see those 8 messages he sent without success.

 

[A Human Becoming]

Doesn't make it any less of an assholish to do. It's things like that that make people not respond to your messages. It's a whole mindset if you think that's how you behave towards people you don't know.

It was one of two times I've ever done since joining OkCupid in 2010. Don't think that is how I typically message women.

I would be curious to see those 8 messages he sent without success.

I'll message you.

 

[Symphonia]

I'll message you.

Mind copying me in? Would be interesting to see your approach to women.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

It was one of two times I've ever done since joining OkCupid in 2010. Don't think that is how I typically message women.

I'll message you.

You're missing the point. It comes off in the way you carry yourself and word things if you act like that. The number of times doesn't matter. You admitted you had no interest so where do you get off lecturing her? It's just shitty behavior.

 

[A Human Becoming]

You're missing the point. It comes off in the way you carry yourself and word things if you act like that. The number of times doesn't matter. You admitted you had no interest so where do you get off lecturing her? It's just shitty behavior.

I did have interest: I even told her I thought she was cool. I later said I had to get that off my chest first before talking to her about anything else. Lighten up.

Mind copying me in? Would be interesting to see your approach to women.

I'd like this hear his thoughts first. I'm really putting myself out there so just one critique at a time.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

I did have interest: I even told her I thought she was cool. I later said I had to get that off my chest first before talking to her about anything else. Lighten up.

I'd like this hear his thoughts first. I'm really putting myself out there so just one critique at a time.

You said in your first post you had no interest in friendship or anything else so you said "fuck it" and just sent it. Why do you have to get putting down her profile off yourself before you can talk to her? It's an assholish thing to do regardless of how much you're unwilling to accept it or try to change what you said in your posts.

Edit: And you just solidified my point of how you interact with people. What woman wants to hear you admit that you just had to get off your chest how bad you thought their profile was before you could talk to them about anything else?

 

[Troubled Bat]

Holy shit.

I've been off OKC for three days, I went back and saw that I had 31 visitors.. DAYUM

 

[A Human Becoming]

You said in your first post you had no interest in friendship or anything else so you said "fuck it" and just sent it. Why do you have to get putting down her profile off yourself before you can talk to her? It's an assholish thing to do regardless of how much you're unwilling to accept it or try to change what you said in your posts.

I didn't have interest, but I do now because she responded reasonably. I wasn't putting down her WHOLE profile, just one part. Saying something at least clears any potential misunderstanding.

Could I have handled it better? Sure, but winning her over wasn't important to me.

Edit: And you just solidified my point of how you interact with people. What woman wants to hear you admit that you just had to get off your chest how bad you thought their profile was before you could talk to them about anything else?

Some people like honesty.

You're blowing this out of proportion.

 

[Rest]

I feel like you should be able to report photos with another person in them. About three times today I clicked on profiles that the user was posing next a friend that was better looking. That's false advertising, man.

 

[davepoobond]

I feel like you should be able to report photos with another person in them. About three times today I clicked on profiles that the user was posing next a friend that was better looking. That's false advertising, man.

Rule of thumb is if there are multiple people in the photo it is most likely the less attractive one. There have been a couple times where I was surprised that wasn't the case though.

The absolute worst are the ones where all the pictures have the same 2 people or they are all groups of people with no identification. I just get instantly frustrated at those and click away

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

I didn't have interest, but I do now because she responded reasonably. I wasn't putting down her WHOLE profile, just one part. Saying something at least clears any potential misunderstanding.

Could I have handled it better? Sure, but winning her over wasn't important to me.

Some people like honesty.

You're blowing this out of proportion.

This will be my last response because clearly you don't want help even though you asked and just want your viewpoint. If you can't understand how starting a relationship (Dating, friendship, whatever) by putting down or finding fault with that person is a bad thing then I have no idea what to tell you.

If you had literally no interest as you keep trumpeting then why contact her? Again, contacting random strangers to put them down is an assholish thing to do. There's no room for discussion on that. If you truly had no interest in her then you only contacted her to let out your petty anger. You didn't do it to help them or helpful you did it to put them down because you were in a bad mood.

Which leads me to the point I've made multiple times but you keep ignoring. If that's the way you carry yourself and handle yourself where you get mad over a girl's requirements on a freaking dating site then that shows a lot of how you handle other situations. Whether you think so or not, there's a certain way we all carry each other. That's why one person can make fun of another person and they're ok with that and another person does the same thing and they get offended. The way you act and the words you choose when talking give off a personality, which is why people asked how you were messaging the girls since they don't respond.

Again, this wasn't a person you knew at all, wanted to get to know, wanted to help or give them helpful advice, it was an absolute stranger that you just couldn't let go by without knowing that they did something wrong. That's why people told you to work on yourself before dating. I can understand getting frustrated, everyone does but you don't carry yourself well if you think you have to critique or put down a complete stranger and that seeps into other aspects of your life and personality. And that's true whether you want to believe it or not. How you respond to situations as they arise is how a lot of people determine feelings about people they meet.

Edit: And one final thing, nothing you did had anything to do with honesty. You wanted to take out your anger on someone and you did. That wasn't honesty and it sure as hell isn't the honest that people appreciate or find attractive. You really need to learn what honesty is if you think all that entails honesty is running your mouth so that you give an opinion on everything.

 

[Symphonia]

Lovely weather we're having, isn't it?

 

[davepoobond]

I suppose to change the subject ill report on getting a match on Cmb that is responding. Not sure if I'm interested just yet, though.

 

[A Human Becoming]

I'm not reading any of that Zaraki_Kenpachi. You're being absurd. If you're going to be constructive, be constructive. If you're going to blast me over this, you're wasting your breath. Be helpful, not critical.

 

[Exploding8]

I suppose to change the subject ill report on getting a match on Cmb that is responding. Not sure if I'm interested just yet, though.

I got a match on CMB today too. Well, technically it was saturday but she didnt have notifications on so she stopped replying until today, when she randomly noticed my last message. We were having a nice conversation, talking about our experiences traveling, and I asked if she'd want to get coffee sometime. She hasn't responded since, so guess I jumped the gun >.<.

Also had a pretty intense flirt session with a girl Saturday night. I messaged her the next day but she hasn't responded either.

*sigh* onto the next batch I suppose. (There always seem to be multiple people messaging me or none at all)

 

[BeatResetsTheWorld]

I really do wonder what the most important aspects of a profile actually are in getting a response. It's super discouraging seeing visits from messages I sent not turn into responses. And these aren't just to anyone, these are to people I seem to have a lot in common with too. I'm like 3/40 (I don't know the exact numbers, but it definitely feel like it's that bad). And most of my messages at least seem interesting enough to get them to visit.

 

[GK86]

The most important part are your pictures (of your good looking self). My guess away. I didn't have any success with OKC. I deleted my profile before I could honestly say, I had a real conversation.

 

[Rest]

Girl visited my profile.
Girl liked my profile.
I'm checking back, checking her questions;

Receiving anal sex?
Her: I like it / I think I might like it
Me: I don't like it / I don't think I would like it


Would you allow your partner to kiss you after performing oral sex on you?
Her: 23 Yes.
Me: It depends.

This girl says she's a virgin, but it's not acceptable that I don't want to be pegged or snowballed?

Pass.

Then another one, this one claiming to be an 18 year old girl:

Have you ever been married?
Her: Yes
Me: No

Looking for group marriage? I don't know if I'm into that.

 

[davepoobond]

Girl visited my profile.
Girl liked my profile.
I'm checking back, checking her questions;



This girl says she's a virgin, but it's not acceptable that I don't want to be pegged or snowballed?

Pass.

Then another one, this one claiming to be an 18 year old girl:

Looking for group marriage? I don't know if I'm into that.

i think a lot of those questions people dont really understand what they're answering sometimes. it doesnt logically make sense in a lot of cases lol

those are some funny answers, though.

 

[Red_taiyaki]

whelp, after three weeks of talking to one girl it ends after one date; time to take a much needed break from OKC...:/

 

[Symphonia]

I have a feeling this girl I'm talking to on POF will end up like my last girlfriend. We've been talking for a few days and while she's very cute, she's very clingy. I go to bed around 12:30-1:00. We were talking last night before bed. I said goodnight. I wake up to 20 messages from hee saying she really wants a hug and kiss, saying she misses me, she wishes I was awake, etc. Should I bail?

 

[davepoobond]

whelp, after three weeks of talking to one girl it ends after one date; time to take a much needed break from OKC...:/

i couldnt keep it going for 3 weeks. 2 days is stretching it for me before having some sort of human interaction.

the first girl i met from any online site it took about a month and a half from the first message to meeting just because of schedules (during holidays, too). it was fuckin terrible, cause i tried to at least message her once a week just to keep in contact.

 

[Exploding8]

Girl visited my profile.
Girl liked my profile.
I'm checking back, checking her questions;



This girl says she's a virgin, but it's not acceptable that I don't want to be pegged or snowballed?

Pass.

Then another one, this one claiming to be an 18 year old girl:

Looking for group marriage? I don't know if I'm into that.

I wouldn't go judging people based on their questions dude, they're mostly there for something interesting to peek out, but beyond that they're pretty arbitrary and probably don't really represent people accurately/fairly >.>

 

[electricshake]

I'm not reading any of that Zaraki_Kenpachi. You're being absurd. If you're going to be constructive, be constructive. If you're going to blast me over this, you're wasting your breath. Be helpful, not critical.

Eh I kinda feel he has a point. He might be coming off a bit strong, but criticising someone's profile isn't a good start, and if you weren't interested why bother messaging? But I won't labour the point.

 

[ClosingADoor]

Girl visited my profile.
Girl liked my profile.
I'm checking back, checking her questions;



This girl says she's a virgin, but it's not acceptable that I don't want to be pegged or snowballed?

Pass.

Then another one, this one claiming to be an 18 year old girl:

Looking for group marriage? I don't know if I'm into that.

You check the questions? I've honestly never done that.

Lighten up, if she seems nice, message her. It's not like everyone you date needs to like the same things you do all the time.

 

[A Human Becoming]

Eh I kinda feel he has a point. He might be coming off a bit strong, but criticising someone's profile isn't a good start, and if you weren't interested why bother messaging? But I won't labour the point.

I understand all that.

 

[hawkshockey11]

First message idea:

"on a scale from 1 to 10, how weird is this question?"

They'll always reply but you'll have no where to go from there. Have fun

 

[Symphonia]

First message idea:

"on a scale from 1 to 10, how weird is this question?"

They'll always reply but you'll have no where to go from there. Have fun

Better yet.

"On a scale of one to ten, I'd rate you as nine. I'm the one you need."

Guaranteed reply, but not necessarily always a good one. If really is entertaining trying to keep a conversation flowing when you're being branded a chauvanistic pig left, right and centre.

 

[Pat]

Better yet.

"On a scale of one to ten, I'd rate you as nine. I'm the one you need."

Guaranteed reply, but not necessarily always a good one. If really is entertaining trying to keep a conversation flowing when you're being branded a chauvanistic pig left, right and centre.

This is so bad. :/

 

[Exploding8]

Better yet.

"On a scale of one to ten, I'd rate you as nine. I'm the one you need."

Guaranteed reply, but not necessarily always a good one. If really is entertaining trying to keep a conversation flowing when you're being branded a chauvanistic pig left, right and centre.

This was actually used on me the other day. I replied "I'll give you an 8/10 because you didn't give me your number".

Reply: "<number>, you better not disapoint me"

It was late at night so I didn't call, she unmatched me before I got a chance. Probably dodged a bullet if we're being honest ;P

 

[Symphonia]

This is so bad. :/

And yet it works, haha.

 

[Salamando]

Is a 21-yr-old girl in the "creepy" range for a 29-yr-old guy? It comes down to birth month for if I'd be in violation of the "half your age plus seven" rule. But still, she liked me first...

And the worst pickup line I've used that worked - "You know what I'd see in the Mirror of Erised? You" It's a Harry Potter reference, and I noticed she had an HP tattoo...anyway, we're getting dinner tomorrow.

 

[Symphonia]

Is a 21-yr-old girl in the "creepy" range for a 29-yr-old guy? It comes down to birth month for if I'd be in violation of the "half your age plus seven" rule. But still, she liked me first...

Anything over 20 is fair game in my eyes. Don't let age or social conventions determine who you date. If you like her, go for it.

 

[FalconLunch]

Is a 21-yr-old girl in the "creepy" range for a 29-yr-old guy? It comes down to birth month for if I'd be in violation of the "half your age plus seven" rule. But still, she liked me first...

I don't think it's creepy. I'd keep in mind you're probably going to be at different points in your lives. But if you're both fine with it then it's cool. Some girls dig older guys and vice versa.

(Sorry for randomly posting. I've been following this for awhile and figured I'd chime in a bit. There's some good advice in here and in the Dating-Age thread )

 

[Symphonia]

Got a number off a girl after just five messages. She was really keen to give it me. She tells me to text her. I text her and get no reply. This was two hours ago. Urgh.

 

[Salamando]

Anything over 20 is fair game in my eyes. Don't let age or social conventions determine who you date. If you like her, go for it.

I don't think it's creepy. I'd keep in mind you're probably going to be at different points in your lives. But if you're both fine with it then it's cool. Some girls dig older guys and vice versa.

Ugh. Turns out she's one of those girls who only answers questions, and never asks any in return. After about 5 such curt responses, conversation got boring quick.

 

[Rest]

Rewrote much of my profile over the last few days, new picture up as well. Better results, but still not exactly good. This is my summary:

I'm always looking for new things to do and new places to go. I like to try restaurants I've never been to and eat the most unusual thing I can find on the menu. I like carnivals and petting zoos and driving faster than the speed limit. I like walking around downtown areas, eating frozen yogurt, and ordering anything but coffee at cafés. I hike, I ride my bike, I go on walks and sometimes I lift weights. I don't have a blowdryer, I don't keep clothes in my closet, and I don't have a smartphone.

The last line is an attempt at a joke, but it sucks. I don't know why, but I have a really hard time being humorous in this section. Any thoughts on something better? Or critique on the section as a whole is welcome too.

 

[Exploding8]

Ugh. Turns out she's one of those girls who only answers questions, and never asks any in return. After about 5 such curt responses, conversation got boring quick.

Yeah I've had a bunch of those. I'm gonna try laughing about it and asking her to ask me something next time. Figure if the conversations going down the tube anyway might as well lol

Just got a date for Saturday, guess we'll see how it goes.

Edit; holy crap its February already, guess its time to find a new avatar xD

 

[Raptomex]

Ugh. Turns out she's one of those girls who only answers questions, and never asks any in return. After about 5 such curt responses, conversation got boring quick.

That's the worst. I hate wasting my time. I usually stop talking early if it's only one-sided.

 

[Windam]

Ugh. Turns out she's one of those girls who only answers questions, and never asks any in return. After about 5 such curt responses, conversation got boring quick.

I wonder if they actually do ask questions back, just not to guys like us. By guys like us, I have no idea what the hell I mean. Just guys that don't get questions back. If you're not interested, don't bother replying at all. Would be much nicer than seeing a response and then going through the whole process of asking questions and just getting back short answers. Only one girl on OKC asked questions back. Promptly got her number, and then after about a week of texting she just stopped replying outright.

 

[davepoobond]

That's the worst. I hate wasting my time. I usually stop talking early if it's only one-sided.

Once I actually asked if they had any questions for me and they didnt respond. Lol.

 

[Magwik]

So if I've bern talking to someone on Tinder and the app says the haven't been on for a few days (4) should I wait it out or send them a FB request and hope it doesn't come off as creepy?

 

[Exploding8]

So if I've bern talking to someone on Tinder and the app says the haven't been on for a few days (4) should I wait it out or send them a FB request and hope it doesn't come off as creepy?

Yeah definitely don't add them to FB, unless that's something you said you'd do already 0.o. Just move on and if she comes back great, otherwise no point wasting time worrying about it.