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[davepoobond]

Got a message from some girl on pof that only said "hey there "

Profile checks out, didnt seem spammy. I replied back, nothing all day, and then also no view on profile, but she could be hiding her views.

Is that a bot? Seems like a bad one if it doesn't try to sell me on anything.

 

[Exploding8]

Well, today was crazy. Within 12 hours of getting an initial message, I'm getting coffee with a girl from OKC. And because I went out for coffee, I didn't go to the mall, which just happened to have a shooting.

Have you told her she saved your life yet?

 

[War Peaceman]

Well, today was crazy. Within 12 hours of getting an initial message, I'm getting coffee with a girl from OKC. And because I went out for coffee, I didn't go to the mall, which just happened to have a shooting.

Congratulations on all accounts. This happened to an old girlfriend of mine, who missed that famous Kenyan mall massacre for the same reason.

 

[Symphonia]

Well, today was crazy. Within 12 hours of getting an initial message, I'm getting coffee with a girl from OKC. And because I went out for coffee, I didn't go to the mall, which just happened to have a shooting.

That's insane. A proper story to tell the grandchildren.

 

[Salamando]

Have you told her she saved your life yet?

Nope. I'm already worried she's far more invested here than I am. We started out clearly friendzoning each other, but then she already deactivates her account?

 

[Lulubop]

Another date tonight, didn't expect it. Kinda eh about it, just exhausted. She seems very attractive at least.

Whoa, after some Facebook investigating, this girl is fine as fuck.

 

[A Human Becoming]

Well, today was crazy. Within 12 hours of getting an initial message, I'm getting coffee with a girl from OKC. And because I went out for coffee, I didn't go to the mall, which just happened to have a shooting.

Whoa, a Tinder girl messaged me first, she's cute, and she's not a bot. What's going on?!

Her: I want that hoodie!
Me: lol I can see why. We can trade sometime (she has a panda hoodie like me)
Her: haha, I suppose I don't mind sharing
Me: you even wore a Toad costume? Will you take my hand and marriage? Don't tell me the Princess is in another castle
Her: my Toad costume is way epic too haha! She is, do you think you're up for the challenge?
Me: I've got multiple lives and play on the hardest difficulty. I'm up for any challenge. Bring it!
Her: so not only are you cute, but you're a complete badass
Me: if I had a nickel every time I heard that...I's have a nickel
Her: bwuhahahahaha. You make me smile sir

It's still going on. The fact that we are still flirting with nerdy talk is awesome lol. I just tried to follow that simple pickup video advice. Keep it fun and poke a little fun at myself.

We've been texting back and forth all day. Fuck all those who say limit the number of texts you send someone. If you like them, go for it. Which is what I'm doing right now. This girl honestly makes me smile so much. She's beautiful, smart, funny, and we have a load in common. The fact she says she loves me doesn't bother me whatsoever. Her and I are giving this 100% already, and I love it.

Good for you three. Best of luck.

Between Tinder, Plenty of Fish and OkCupid, I feel burned out on dating at the moment. 37 women contacted in 23 days. Time to put that energy elsewhere.

 

[davepoobond]

Barely 2 a day isn't much. When I was putting actual effort into messaging a lot of people I did 10 or 15 a day. And I was being picky as it was.

 

[War Peaceman]

There's barely 37 women that I find attractive on these sites, do you just message anybody?

 

[Symphonia]

Barely 2 a day isn't much. When I was putting actual effort into messaging a lot of people I did 10 or 15 a day. And I was being picky as it was.

This was pretty much me when I first joined OKCupid. I'd set the radius to fifty miles, adjust the age range to 20-30, and just go crazy. I was a complete amateur back then. Looking back, it was cringe worthy. I was sending out ten or so messages a day, every day of the week, for at least a month. That's a hella lot of messages. It sucked when they didn't reply but I got over it.

Nowadays, I'm completely different. I don't message them, I let them come to me. I pay for bonuses so I can view their profile without them knowing. If I like the look of them, I click a button to let them know I viewed them, maybe star them, and let them do the rest. It works, trust me. There are the odd occassions where I'll message them first but it's rare, and the message is nowhere near as needy or desperate as my first ever messages on there.

sogood.gif

There's barely 37 women that I find attractive on these sites, do you just message anybody?

Depending on where you live, this is to be expected. My town isn't known for it's women. So I extend my search radius a bit, and boom. Jackpot! Providing you're willing to travel a bit, you can see and meet some damn fine women.

 

[Pat]

So I re-did my Tinder account last Thursday night because I was not satisfied with the amount of matches I got. I decided to take another profile picture, one that is HD and quite clear, even if it's a picture from 3 years ago (I look mostly the same). Anyways, the other pictures are still the same. I kept the same age range (23-34) but I dragged down the discovery area from 60km to 30km while still being picky. I got 42 matches (excluding the bots) as of this morning. This is completely ridiculous how the first impression is everything.

Many girls did the first approach with a simple "Hello" or "Good morning". I replied to some of them much later since I'm not always on my phone, and they didn't answer me back after that (I only hope I didn't miss one-night stands). Some of them, which I was able to maintain a good conversation, stopped responding when I asked them to hang out, give them my number or ask for one... And THEY were the ones who initiated everything!

Goddamn girls, why are you on Tinder in the first place?!

 

[A Human Becoming]

Barely 2 a day isn't much. When I was putting actual effort into messaging a lot of people I did 10 or 15 a day. And I was being picky as it was.

I live in a rural area. It certainly could have been more if I really went all out on POF, but I don't like that site.

This was pretty much me when I first joined OKCupid. I'd set the radius to fifty miles, adjust the age range to 20-30, and just go crazy. I was a complete amateur back then. Looking back, it was cringe worthy. I was sending out ten or so messages a day, every day of the week, for at least a month. That's a hella lot of messages. It sucked when they didn't reply but I got over it.

Nowadays, I'm completely different. I don't message them, I let them come to me. I pay for bonuses so I can view their profile without them knowing. If I like the look of them, I click a button to let them know I viewed them, maybe star them, and let them do the rest. It works, trust me. There are the odd occassions where I'll message them first but it's rare, and the message is nowhere near as needy or desperate as my first ever messages on there.

sogood.gif

The only works for beautiful people, which I'm guessing you are. How would you describe your desperate and needy messages? You never responded to the POF messages I sent you.

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

Don't you just hate when a conversation goes cold. We're talk about music, I give her some recommendations, and nothing for 24 hours. I sent a followup a couple of hours ago asking if what I said threw her for a loop and still nothing. She's online now, but nothing yet. That sucks.

 

[A Human Becoming]

Don't you just hate when a conversation goes cold. We're talk about music, I give her some recommendations, and nothing for 24 hours. I sent a followup a couple of hours ago asking if what I said threw her for a loop and still nothing. She's online now, but nothing yet. That sucks.

IMO never send a follow up message. Once they stop responding move on.

 

[GK86]

IMO never send a follow up message. Once they stop responding move on.

I disagree. You don't know if they stopped responding due to lack of interest or because they got busy. Women are constantly being messaged, so your last message will go down to the bottom. Doesn't hurt to send one message.

Personally, I wouldn't send anymore after the follow up message.

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

That's the last part of the convo:

IMO never send a follow up message. Once they stop responding move on.

I don't think it hurts. It shows that I'm/you're still interested.

I disagree. You don't know if they stopped responding due to lack of interest or because they got busy. Women are constantly being messaged, so your last message will go down to the bottom. Doesn't hurt to send one message.

Personally, I wouldn't send anymore after the follow up message.

I agree with this. If there's nothing after the first and only follow up, cya.

 

[Symphonia]

The only works for beautiful people, which I'm guessing you are. How would you describe your desperate and needy messages? You never responded to the POF messages I sent you.

Ha, that's a joke, right? I'm not beautiful by any stretch of the imagination. It's all about confidence. Exude confidence - not arrogance - and the girls will come flocking.

As for the messages, I'll re-read them tomorrow and let you know. I did mean to reply but forgot. I'd do it now but its 1:30am. I'm gonna watch TWD and then go sleep. But I will definitely give my two cents tomorrow.

 

[Bleepey]

Good for you three. Best of luck.

Between Tinder, Plenty of Fish and OkCupid, I feel burned out on dating at the moment. 37 women contacted in 23 days. Time to put that energy elsewhere.

Lol woe is you. I fear tinder has made me extremely lazy. I also had the pleasure of discovering an auto swiper so going back to sites like POF just feels like a chore. I can not be bothered to treat online dating like job hunting again. Also I had a very attractive girl pretty much beg me to go out today but a mixture of my phone charging slowly due to a faulty cable as well as her claiming it's pretty unlikely she'd put out. I don't know what's wrong with me. Tinder has spoilt me.

 

[A Human Becoming]

I disagree. You don't know if they stopped responding due to lack of interest or because they got busy. Women are constantly being messaged, so your last message will go down to the bottom. Doesn't hurt to send one message.

I don't think it hurts. It shows that I'm/you're still interested.

Even if a woman was busy she would still find time to respond. I had the same perspective as you two when I first started online dating.

Ha, that's a joke, right? I'm not beautiful by any stretch of the imagination. It's all about confidence. Exude confidence - not arrogance - and the girls will come flocking.

I get such conflicting advice in this thread. Confidence and arrogance can be hard to discern with dating compared to every day life. Thanks for looking at the PMs.

Lol woe is you.

There's more snark in this thread than I like.

 

[Rest]

So she kinda just left me with some closed statements, noting really to move the conversation forward, so I went back to her profile to see what else I might talk with her about. It's pretty repetitive, and there actually isn't much meat, so I started looking at her questions...

For people who are in exclusive relationships, is masturbation a form of infidelity?
Her: Yes.
Me: No.

Should a child who's caught masturbating be punished?
Her: Yes
Me: No

Do you feel that having sex with someone you have known less than one year would be too soon?
Her: Yes.
Me: No.

Do you think homosexuality is a sin?
Her: Yes
[insert generic explanation here]

Me: No

I was going to post some more of these, but I realized it's just way too many. This is an educated, seemingly progressive girl. Her profile said nothing about any of this stuff.
ifeellikeimtakingcrazypills.gif

 

[A Human Becoming]

It was really only that last one that got me Rest: that's a deal breaker for me. I know some people down play the questions, but that's a hard one to fuck up.

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

Updated: False alarm. She responded. She claims to have had a wild night of drinking.

Plans in motion for date Valentine's day. If it does happen, I'm gonna keep it casual, but maybe buy a small box of chocolates.

Edit:

Even if a woman was busy she would still find time to respond. I had the same perspective as you two when I first started online dating.

You're making a good point. 7 months in though, it's maybe the second time I've sent a followup message like that.

Luckily it's working out in this case.

 

[Rest]

It was really only that last one that got me Rest: that's a deal breaker for me. I know some people down play the questions, but that's a hard one to fuck up.

Consider that this is just the first few from the first page, I didn't cherry pick at all.

Masturbation ones are a big deal to me though. My mom used to yell at me when she found my porn, I'm not going to be yelled at for having porn or masturbating in my own house by someone that I choose to have in my life. I'm also not going to have kids with anybody that will try to make my children feel ashamed of themselves for having normal human sexuality.

 

[A Human Becoming]

You're making a good point. 7 months in though, it's maybe the second time I've sent a followup message like that.

Luckily it's working out in this case.

I'm glad it did!

Consider that this is just the first few from the first page, I didn't cherry pick at all.

Masturbation ones are a big deal to me though. My mom used to yell at me when she found my porn, I'm not going to be yelled at for having porn or masturbating in my own house by someone that I choose to have in my life. I'm also not going to have kids with anybody that will try to make my children feel ashamed of themselves for having normal human sexuality.

That latter one isn't important because that's a situation far into the future and would normally be worked out between two parents. The former though would have a direct, early impact on your relationship. It sounds like there's enough for you to move onto someone else.

 

[Exploding8]

I disagree. You don't know if they stopped responding due to lack of interest or because they got busy. Women are constantly being messaged, so your last message will go down to the bottom. Doesn't hurt to send one message.

Personally, I wouldn't send anymore after the follow up message.

Yeah I usually go with one followup message if I was really interested, can't hurt to try at that point. Always move on after that

 

[Windam]

Once again I've messaged every girl within 25km of Toronto that's interested me on OKC. Bleh. :/ (New account, deleted the old one a while back.)

 

[BIGWORM]

Was talking to a chick for a while, then I got hit with the "my dad was raised traditionally" talk.

What a waste of time. =/

 

[A Human Becoming]

Was talking to a chick for a while, then I got hit with the "my dad was raised traditionally" talk.

What a waste of time. =/

Is that suppose to mean she was raised with traditional Christian values?

 

[jwk94]

Is that suppose to mean she was raised with traditional Christian values?

Sounds like he may be racist?

 

[zeemumu]

Got another match. She actually has a bio so the odds are in my favor that she's not a bot.

Spoiler

Please don't be a bot.

 

[BIGWORM]

Sounds like he may be racist?

*ding ding ding*

 

[Bleepey]

So she kinda just left me with some closed statements, noting really to move the conversation forward, so I went back to her profile to see what else I might talk with her about. It's pretty repetitive, and there actually isn't much meat, so I started looking at her questions...

I was going to post some more of these, but I realized it's just way too many. This is an educated, seemingly progressive girl. Her profile said nothing about any of this stuff.
ifeellikeimtakingcrazypills.gif

Why not start a tumblr called Nice girls of OKC with her profile?

Spoiler

Please don't.

Even if a woman was busy she would still find time to respond. I had the same perspective as you two when I first started online dating.

I get such conflicting advice in this thread. Confidence and arrogance can be hard to discern with dating compared to every day life. Thanks for looking at the PMs.

There's more snark in this thread than I like.

I misread that post, I thought he was saying he got that many messages.

 

[War Peaceman]

Depending on where you live, this is to be expected. My town isn't known for it's women. So I extend my search radius a bit, and boom. Jackpot! Providing you're willing to travel a bit, you can see and meet some damn fine women.

Ah but I'm in a university city, so I have it as good as it gets outside of London, but still... most are unappealing :/

 

[devilhawk]

So I re-did my Tinder account last Thursday night because I was not satisfied with the amount of matches I got. I decided to take another profile picture, one that is HD and quite clear, even if it's a picture from 3 years ago (I look mostly the same). Anyways, the other pictures are still the same. I kept the same age range (23-34) but I dragged down the discovery area from 60km to 30km while still being picky. I got 42 matches (excluding the bots) as of this morning. This is completely ridiculous how the first impression is everything.

Many girls did the first approach with a simple "Hello" or "Good morning". I replied to some of them much later since I'm not always on my phone, and they didn't answer me back after that (I only hope I didn't miss one-night stands). Some of them, which I was able to maintain a good conversation, stopped responding when I asked them to hang out, give them my number or ask for one... And THEY were the ones who initiated everything!

Goddamn girls, why are you on Tinder in the first place?!

Was bored on Sunday and decided to finally try the app. I just think I can spend my time better elsewhere. Once you get beyond the 24 year old range, the profiles I get for girls really nosedive. Between kids, crazy piercings and interests, and overall attractiveness, the number of times I find someone interesting is depressingly low. Almost all the messages I got last night were from matches I couldn't find in the morning, which I am guessing was because of bots.

 

[Symphonia]

Ah but I'm in a university city, so I have it as good as it gets outside of London, but still... most are unappealing :/

You're in a university city, the place should be crawling with hot women. Get on it, V. On the subject of Tinder, and you'll think I'm a dick for going back on my 100% commitment to Girl #1, I got talking to this girl on Tinder last night. She's 18, studying sociology, fun to talk to, and absolutely gorgeous. The conversation was flowing so fast and smoothly, and I just got off the phone to her about ten minutes ago. She says she's up to go for a drink, etc. But, yeah, my feelings towards Girl #1, although we're not going out or anything, are holding me back. Advice?

 

[GK86]

You're in a university city, the place should be crawling with hot women. Get on it, V. On the subject of Tinder, and you'll think I'm a dick for going back on my 100% commitment to Girl #1, I got talking to this girl on Tinder last night. She's 18, studying sociology, fun to talk to, and absolutely gorgeous. The conversation was flowing so fast and smoothly, and I just got off the phone to her about ten minutes ago. She says she's up to go for a drink, etc. But, yeah, my feelings towards Girl #1, although we're not going out or anything, are holding me back. Advice?

Umm, go out with the tinder girl?

Go out with her, maybe she will help you get your mind off the other girl. No reason to cockblock yourself for someone you aren't even dating.

 

[Symphonia]

Umm, go out with the tinder girl?

Go out with her, maybe she will help you get your mind off the other girl. No reason to cockblock yourself for someone you aren't even dating.

Thing is, I don't want to get my mind off the girl. We're both really into each other. The only thing kind of holding us back is distance. She's a good hour away, whereas Tinder Girl is ten minutes down the road. Both want to go out with me, both want to fuck me senseless, and both seem amazing and are gorgeous. I hate this.

Spoiler

Joking, I love being in a situation where two hot girls want me. None of them really stand to get hurt as they obviously don't know about each other. I just have to decide which one. Try before you buy?

#FirstWorldProblems

 

[Azulsky]

I guess its tangentially related to online dating that Cuddlr is now available for Android.

I got an email about it for some reason this morning, I blame terrisus.

 

[Symphonia]

I guess its tangentially related to online dating that Cuddlr is now available for Android.

I got an email about it for some reason this morning, I blame terrisus.

I just had to Google that.

That's just...wow. That's Tinder for prudes.

 

[GK86]

Thing is, I don't want to get my mind off the girl. We're both really into each other. The only thing kind of holding us back is distance. She's a good hour away, whereas Tinder Girl is ten minutes down the road. Both want to go out with me, both want to fuck me senseless, and both seem amazing and are gorgeous. I hate this.

Spoiler

Joking, I love being in a situation where two hot girls want me. None of them really stand to get hurt as they obviously don't know about each other. I just have to decide which one. Try before you buy?

#FirstWorldProblems

One hour doesn't seem bad, but I'm assuming getting there is the problem?

 

[terrisus]

I guess its tangentially related to online dating that Cuddlr is now available for Android.

I got an email about it for some reason this morning, I blame terrisus.

 

[Troubled Bat]

I guess its tangentially related to online dating that Cuddlr is now available for Android.

I got an email about it for some reason this morning, I blame terrisus.

Will try it out.

 

[Symphonia]

One hour doesn't seem bad, but I'm assuming getting there is the problem?

I'm relying on public transport at the moment as my car is, for lack of a better word, FUBAR. So to get where she lives, I'd need to catch a bus, then a train, then another train, then another bus. I live out in the sticks, as does she.

 

[terrisus]

One hour doesn't seem bad, but I'm assuming getting there is the problem?

I'm relying on public transport at the moment as my car is, for lack of a better word, FUBAR. So to get where she lives, I'd need to catch a bus, then a train, then another train, then another bus. I live out in the sticks, as does she.

If it helps any, my wife and I lived an hour apart, and pretty much only saw each other on weekends, for the entire time we were dating/engaged

Spoiler

(5.5 years)

until we got married.

So, hey, it's possible!

 

[GrizzNKev]

If it helps any, my wife and I lived an hour apart, and pretty much only saw each other on weekends, for the entire time we were dating/engaged

Spoiler

(5.5 years)

until we got married.

So, hey, it's possible!

terrisus why are you in the online dating thread

 

[terrisus]

terrisus why are you in the online dating thread

Because my name was mentioned :þ

 

[Jhoan]

Yeah I usually go with one followup message if I was really interested, can't hurt to try at that point. Always move on after that

Agree as well. I missed out on several opportunities because I never followed up with girls who stopped responded until I saw that it doesn't hurt to try again and have followed it ever since.

So I followed up with the girl who I only saw for an hour on Saturday night yesterday and she was driving back to her home state. When I asked when she'd be back she said she didn't know which I think is a lie because I followed it up afterwards saying that we should hang out again next time she's back in town. She didn't reply after that. No harm done at all especially because it would never work out.

The other girl that I was supposed to meet up with today had to reschedule to Thursday because something came up. Otherwise, we've been building a pretty strong rapport through text. I just hope that we don't run out of things to talk about when we meet up. That, or that I end up repeating the mistake of talking too much about myself which has cost me in the past. Gonna keep it cheap since dating on a budget requires being as frugal as possible.

Lastly, I had a bit of an awkward moment earlier today when I was on the train and saw a girl I'd met up with a couple of weeks back from OKC (which I've since deactivated to focus on Tinder/personal goals for now) who I went cold on. She didn't recognize me thankfully as she was in a conversation with a dude but I recognized her right away because she was talking to him about the play she written and pitched. The subway is a small world.

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

Lots and lots of new accounts on POF. Valentines love must have kicked things into high gear. I expect that it's the same in other areas too.

 

[Symphonia]

If it helps any, my wife and I lived an hour apart, and pretty much only saw each other on weekends, for the entire time we were dating/engaged

Spoiler

(5.5 years)

until we got married.

So, hey, it's possible!

I suppose. We're both really keen to see where 'this' goes, so it would be a waste of a perfectly good oppurtunity if I didn't at least give it a go.

 

[DarkChronic]

I seem to have a lot more success in real life and OKcupid than Tinder. Had Tinder for about 2 days now, swiping right on a LOT of girls, and I'm only matching with bots and people I don't find attractive.

Maybe I have the personality thing going for me more than I think. I don't think I'm a bad looking guy, but I've had no luck with Tinder at all so far.