My advice still holds. Try to hold as much as possible until the actual date so you don't blow all your load before even meeting.
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
My advice still holds. Try to hold as much as possible until the actual date so you don't blow all your load before even meeting.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Are you alerted when your name is mentioned on GAF?
Got a number through Tinder. Woo!
Re-quoting this for this page since it seems to have gotten overlooked. I would have offered to critique it but as I said above, I deactivated my OKC profile. And rest assured that no one is from ConcepArt as far as I know.
Although I made an account there 3 years ago but never posted at all.;p
2 days? That's not nothing to complain about IMHO. I do think you should be meeting people in person in addition to having TInder and OKC on the side.
Girls have suddenly unmatched me just for messaging them in the past(one did last night) for whatever reason may be. I shrug it off and roll with the punches. If you're not white, then that might be a factor to why more attractive women aren't swiping right to you.
Either way, I'm sure you'll get matched up with humans who are interesting to talk to sooner or later so keep at it. If you're feeling up to it, then you're welcome to post a screenshot of your profile pictures.
EDIT: @Human, nice man and good luck.
terrisus
Member
Nah, I just search for my name periodically.
Moreso to see where I'm quoted/to be able to follow up on quotes - but mentions of my name turn up as well.
The problem with mentions, though, is that often people misspell my username if they're not quoting me.
In which case, I might not notice at all ¯\_(ツ
_/¯MonorailCat
Member
That feeling when you create a new Tinder Account with new pictures you really like and get zero matches in days. Feels good man.
But hey, at least the price for tinder plus in my new Account is only 3€ instead of 16€. Seems like they are doing some kind of market research and randomize the price for every account.
Still not paying though. Getting my ego crushed for free is bad enough, don't need to pay for that ;>
But hey, at least the price for tinder plus in my new Account is only 3€ instead of 16€. Seems like they are doing some kind of market research and randomize the price for every account.
Still not paying though. Getting my ego crushed for free is bad enough, don't need to pay for that ;>
DarkChronic
Member
Sure. Here's what I got:
What do you guys think? Not attractive? Need better pictures?
Again, never had much trouble in real life. But going through a breakup so I figured I'd mess around on Tinder. I'm getting nothing but bots.
Your main pic at least should just be you. No women in it.
ReturnOfTheRAT
Member
High five. Traded #'s with the lady I've been chatting with on Match. Got a date set for Wednesday.
Haven't made that move on the POF date for Saturday yet. I'll give it a shot later tonight. She's a
teacher
You're plenty attractive.
I think it's a combination of poor pictures and a "boring" profile.
I think your last picture is your best picture out of the ones shown here. The only negative is that there's a lady in it, but she looks like your mom (?) so while it's not as good as having a solo picture, the fact that it's not someone that can be confused for an ex is a okay.
Do you have a full body pic? I'd include one of those in there as well.
I'd toss the 2nd picture. Bad quality and red eyes. Doesn't do anything for you, imo.
Out of the ones you have here, I'd do 4th pic, (full body), you + guys, you + sunglasses.
Keep the part about Lost in your profile. Good ice breaker and for weeding out those who don't like Lost (it is a the best tv show ever).
DarkChronic
Member
Yeah, it's my mom. I'll ditch the blurry picture.
Believe it or not I don't think I have any solo pictures. All of them on Facebook are tagged pictures with friends, family, or exes.
ReturnOfTheRAT
Member
You mean that I'm not gonna date Tyler and his mom?
DarkChronic
Member
To echo everyone else's thoughts, you're a handsome devil. I think everyone has nailed the feedback. However, since you said that a ton of your FB pictures are of you with people, do you have a DSLR, mirrorless, or a point and shoot camera? If yes, then you can always use the self timer to take pictures of yourself by placing it on a stable surface. I've done that plenty of times (although I need really need to invest in a tripod at some point). Heck, if you have any photographer friends, have them take pictures of you doing an activity. Since you're going through a break up, definitely focus on having fun and not looking for anything serious.
A girl I'm seeing on Thursday night told me that her profile is pretty dull in comparison my witty profile bio (see pic below). On her profile it says Mover, shaker, grad student. I didn't want to admit that her profile was pretty boring so I told her that it was ambiguous which she took as a compliment. My point is that writing a few words on your profile to give people an idea of what you're about is pretty generic. The same thing with girls who list their ethnicity so that guys find them alluring/exotic. The Lost thing is good though.
For reference, here's my Tinder profile (anyone is welcome to critique it):
A few quick notes:
-The woman next to me in the painting is my college's president; the girl in the group picture is a female friend (although I tend to change that picture for others since I can see how it can throw off some girls):
-My profile bio is a slight jab at my uncommonly spelled name which seems to throw people for a loop. A lot of girls have responded favorably to and ask me how to pronounce it.
stn
Member
@Dark Chronic
You look good, man. Just crop your mom out if possible to avoid confusion. Not really absolutely necessary, however. Also, IMO, make sure your main pic is one not featuring sunglasses. You don't want someone to assume you're "hiding" something in your pics, know what I mean? I'm not saying you are, just that it may somehow add to a girl's paranoia.
@Jipan
Good profile, man, you look like a boss. I'd say make your main pic one not featuring you and booze, however. Don't ask me why, its just an instinctive thing.
You look good, man. Just crop your mom out if possible to avoid confusion. Not really absolutely necessary, however. Also, IMO, make sure your main pic is one not featuring sunglasses. You don't want someone to assume you're "hiding" something in your pics, know what I mean? I'm not saying you are, just that it may somehow add to a girl's paranoia.
@Jipan
Good profile, man, you look like a boss. I'd say make your main pic one not featuring you and booze, however. Don't ask me why, its just an instinctive thing.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
It could be worse: she could call you a good boy during sex.
You really need to get a life terrisus. This is coming from a guy who has no life. >.> If you want to follow up on quotes just hit the GAF icon next to threads you've posted in or click last viewed at the top.
Guys, stop being handsome motherfuckers. I'm starting to feel insecure.
Well...
terrisus
Member
ReturnOfTheRAT
Member
"Hi I'm <redacted> I'm new to this kinda thing but I going to try.Well I looking got older men who who what they want out of life I not up for games of lines so past real men only I have been through A lot and just wasn't someone top love me for me leave u phone number and I weep text I can't stay on here long fur to phone problems hit me up"
LOL. Clearly just phone problems.
DarkChronic
Member
Thanks for the feedback, all. I'll mess around with some of the pictures and keep plugging away.
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
I'm not really sure what you're getting at. Normally when someone is a conservative Christian they've got a bunch of God stuff in their profile and have the religious section filled out on that little side bar. This is an artsy chick in the tech industry who's got a bunch of almost hippy stuff in her profile. I did not expect these kinds of answers, so I'm sharing my surprise at the contrast.
Maybe I didn't share enough about the kinds of things she's got written, but there is a privacy issue.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Please tell me you remember that thread.
I say it because I care. <3
stn
Member
Sounds like a scammer.
terrisus
Member
I know <3
ReturnOfTheRAT
Member
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Is it wrong to be wary of women who list cannabis under "The six things I could never do without"? It seems childish unless it's for a medical reason. I'd be weary of someone who put booze if that matters.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
No, if I see any mention of weed being important to them I click off
If you characterize recreational pot use as childish, be glad she made it clear that's something she does frequently. I get being wary about the potential for substance abuse, but that's not necessarily the case here.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Recreational use isn't childish, saying it's so important you couldn't live without it is. Childish might not be the right word to use since I wouldn't call someone who listed booze childish.
You might be taking their answers to that section a bit too literally. I've seen girls put silly things in there before.
ReturnOfTheRAT
Member
Can't do without is a bit too strong. The lady I was seeing for 4 months didn't list drug use on her pof profile. Minutes before our first date ended we were talking about future ambitions. She talked about opening a dispensary. I didn't think much of it, maybe because I was already falling for her in some ways. The laws were changing in late September... A couple of weeks into seeing each other she asked me point blank about what i thought of weed use. I said I have no use for it, haven't don't it, won't, that sort of thing. If its for medical reasons, be my guest. She responded that she uses it to relax. From then on I called her a hippie and she ran with it. At no time in the months that we were together was it an issue or something she did in my presence. She functioned. Went to school, aced her first semester. Had a volunteering job and that went well.
I guess what I'm getting at is that it depends on the person. She was able to go long periods without use, mind you. Wine was a big deal for her. She loved it more than the hippie lettuce. I guess I can add that you need to find out if that's a culture she's into. Is she wearing clothing with leafs on it? Is usage a frequent subject does she post publically (Facebook/Snapchat) about using or getting high? That's the kind of thing you have to figure out.
Is it bad if I don't?
Please tell me you remember that thread.
I say it because I care. <3
Okay, I'm having the same problem with okc that I had last time. I have an average body, I exercise frequently, eat well and am pretty decent looking, but I constantly get matched with obese women and the only people who like or view my profile are twice my size or more. Is this just the reality of online dating sites? As always I'm not trying to be hateful toward large women but I don't find them attractive or consider them a good match for me, and they're pretty much all I see.
MikeHaggar
Member
yeah, that's the reality. the bigger women are going to be the ones to reach out and initiate. what i'd recommend is just keep grinding it out and contacting women that you find attractive. something will hit eventually.
to give you hope, i've been messing with okcupid on and off the last 9 months i've been single. never put too much stock into it, but messaged women i liked. anywhere from 6-10's really. i'm a decent looking guy. i don't photograph well though. i think i'm much more attractive in person. however, that works to my benefit cause they are usually more impressed once we meet.
anyway, i never met anyone i really liked or clicked with. lots of messages, lots of phone numbers and texts, some meets. i JUST found someone on sunday. we've been talking non-stop since then. texts, phone calls... everything. trading tons of pics. we're both super excited. we keep finding out we have all of this stuff in common the more we talk. we're hanging out this weekend. even valentine's day, but we agreed it's just going to be another day or whatever. i think we are both glad to have someone to spend it with though.
my point is i had to wade through a TON of women in order to find someone i'm excited about. i don't know how it's going to play out, but so far it seems very promising. just hang in there and keep at it. it really is just a numbers game. keep in mind you'll probably have to go through a lot of women to find someone that you click with, so just message anyone that catches your eye.
oh and never, and i mean NEVER, get down on yourself about the way things are going on there. a lot of the people are flakey and flighty. most of the time it's because of them and their issues. it's not a reflection of you. you got this, man.
MonorailCat
Member
From what I have heard, okcupid matches you with pretty girls only if you get a lot of likes. In onlinedating terms that means: you only get matched with pretty girls if you are 8+/10.
It's the same for me. All my special blend matches are overweight, just because I am not attractive enough to get in the "higher tier".
With the current algorithms I think average guys fare the worst in online dating.
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
They send an email saying that you are hot if this is the case, right?
MonorailCat
Member
Yep they do. If you don't get that mail okcupid is pretty much useless (if you are an average 5/6/6.5 male). all your "special blend" matches won't be attractive to you.
Da fuck
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
Well you can still message them right? People aren't invisible to you unless they hide their profile.
I get messaged fairly frequently by women on OkCupid it is the only site/app where that ever happens. POF was awful. Is this a common experience?
I get messaged fairly frequently by women on OkCupid it is the only site/app where that ever happens. POF was awful. Is this a common experience?
*shrug* I never got that message, but damn if there aren't plenty of people in my special blend who I wouldn't mind becoming familiar with.
POF is just awful all round. I rarely use it. Tinder and OKC are my go-to sites.
So then don't filter by special blend...
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
I wish it wasn't the default. Anyway to change it?
It's a pretty funny thread. The guy recorded her saying it.